After two days of voting, this is how things stand. And the drama resumes tomorrow, with some big names still to go:
Felger! Gasper! Volin! Zolak! Dondero! Curran! MegO! Thornton! A James and a Jim! Plain Black Hat! Guregian! Hill! Uh, Bertrand! And ADAM KAUFMAN!!
Sent to us from Patrick in Andover del Norte:
I just noticed that voting has started in region T.
Where is it written that the Region T preview has to come out before voting starts?
Mike Felger (1) vs Dan Greenberg (16) Take your time here, no need to leave your keys in a running car to vote on this one. Felger wins in a walk.
Mark Daniels (8) vs Joe Haggerty (9) *** voting underway *** Pork Joe has a harder battle buttoning his shirt every morning. Haggerty (as expected) is cruising to round 2.
Scott Zolak (5) vs Steve Buckley (12) Zolak has ruined more Patriots moments than Eli Manning. Look at this prediction.
Phil Perry (4) vs “Fitzy” (13) Unless the Ancient Order of Hibernians finally wakes up and jails Nicholas Stevens for cultural appropriation, expect “Fitzy” to kickoff a run of upsets.
Kevin Paul Dupont (6) vs Michael F. Hurley (11) The winner gets to keep the losers middle name/initial. Take what’s yours Michael F. Paul Hurley!
Andy Gresh (3) vs Gabby Starr (14) *** voting underway *** Who am I to argue with the voting public. A Starr is born!
Rich Shertenlieb (7) vs Meghan Ottolini (10) In less than two years MegO has destroyed the radio careers of Glenn Ordway, Lou Merloni, and Christian Fauria. Give Meg her flowers and she might repay YOU by taking out Jones and Arcand too. Keep up the good work Meg!
Ted Johnson (2) vs Jared Weiss (15) Ted Johnson walks into a bar and gets another CTE. The upsets stop here, Early Man advances.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
2023 March Sadness features an embarrassment of worthy candidates looking to take the lead in the never-ending race to the bottom. In a packed field, Region V is more loaded than Sean McDonough attempting to make Florian Hall a Drive-Thru. Here’s an armchair analysis of the best region of the worst candidates:
(1) Chris Gasper v. (16) Dakota Randall: Young Shank is elite effete in triplicate: A failure on TV, radio, and in print. The ultimate bad faith pundit with a schtick as predictable as Bonesy Jonezy’s. Dak Randall covers the Patriots for NESN, the Val-Pak of journalistic entities. This one is over before it starts. My vote: Kid Gaslight
(8) Rob Bradford v. (9) Brian Scalabrine: Bradford is Boring; the Diet Coke of Mediots. How does Bradford move the needle unless spittle from his mushmouth does? Scalabrine The Color Analyst makes one wonder why an announcer-specific mute button doesn’t exist. (There’s a thousand dollar idea!) At the end of the day, Scal or Mushmouth ends up being cannon fodder for Young Shank. This matchup is more irrelevant than WEEI. My vote: Scalabrine And A Mute App
(5) Adam Jones v. (12) Brian Barrett: On the surface, this one looks easy. Is it though? Discount Felger has less range than Marc Bertrand at shortstop (relax, Theo!) and his takes on Boston sports are more predictable than Gerry Callahan’s views on race and politics. Leaving ratings behemoth 985 The SportsKlan for WEEI with Meg0 and Arrrrrrrrcand demonstrate worse decision making than Drew Bozo. Bonezy’s show caters to those who don’t like sports and loathe themselves inside and out – I hope you know that. These individuals should be given a cookie – briefly pitied, then ignored. As (Not That) Bono once said: Thank God It’s Them Instead Of You.
Barrett’s ascent to the Boston gig at The Ringer is mind-blowing. He’s a failed WEEI weekend guy once behind Andy fucking Hart on the depth chart (poor, poor Dumbo) that Simmons pulled out of obscurity and into obscurity. Barrett’s a shoe-pissing, Excel using, self-important ninny that is the polar opposite of the self-loathing Jones: He genuinely believes he’s smarter than Bill Belichick, Joe Mazzulla, Don Sweeney, and Alex Cora. He’s not good at his own job, never mind theirs. Jones is pathetic shtick; he’s Kenny Banya – a terrible comic who once had a great lead-in. Barrett’s got a voice only a dog-whistle could love (not that dog whistle, Tony Mazz) with an inflated sense of his worth. Constantly using small sample size statistical “evidence” to shit on the teams he is supposedly pulling for is a particularly joyless approach to covering sports. A vote for Barrett is a vote by proxy for California Bill. Think on that. My vote: Stay Off The Pike – Barrett
(4) Marc Bertrand v. (13) Duke Castiglione: Like Michael Scott, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a “Can You Believe It?” Joe Castig joke. My vote: Bertrand
(6) Mike Giardi v. 11 Jermaine Wiggins: Giardi’s an under the radar sneaky blow-dried cvnt, a local mediot on a national outlet with less clout and influence than Albert Breer. Wiggins’ assualt on eardrums makes me wish Rod Rutledge had better hands. My vote: Giardi
(3) Charred Finn v. (14) John Karalis: Finn might be the most revolting of all candidates and a good value pick to win Mediot Madness. He’s a spineless, cucked apologist for the worst of Boston media – he’s not a critic. He waited over a week after Tony Massarotti’s racist joke to opine because – according to Charred – the interwebs haven’t yet reached mid-coast Maine. His 2 paragraph Mazz rebuke/foot massage/apology on a Saturday eight days later was Finn taking the journalistic fetal position.
John Karalis works for Greg Bedard and may be eligible for a seat next to Mel Torme. My vote: Charred Finn
(7) Jerry Thornton v. (10) Gary Washburn: Washburn is someone to keep an eye on: Joe Mazzulla’s open contempt for his shit-stirring, low IQ questions suggests much higher seeding in future tourneys. As for Thornton, what’s more rare: A Boston mediot/shoe-pisser who likes the team he writes about; a Barstool employee over the age of 50; or a person of color allowed on the Felger and Mazz show? Sorry, Jerry: despite campaigning for votes, I’m going for the lower downside. My vote: Washburn
(2) Jim Murray v. (15) John Zannis: With a bio like this, John Zannis may be seeded waaaay too low. And he put the Boston Sports Journal in his LinkedIn bio! HE PUT THE BOSTON SPORTS JOURNAL IN HIS BIO. If his LinkedIn avatar is any indication, he also makes fart noises with his mouth.
According to his LinkedIn page:
“Big Gym” Murray apologized for Tony Massarotti’s racist joke because Big Gym didn’t think it was racist enough. He wants the children of callers who disagree with him dead. While many claim they’re playing a role on the air – cosplaying a contrarian, trolling with a take, acting like an asshole for the click or a listen – Big Jim isn’t playing a role. He’s an irredeemable piece of garbage who wants others to be miserable as he is. Murray is the worst person on a show with the worst people in Boston media. He deserves your vote and a deep tourney run.
Murray wants to be Felger for the notoriety. Murray wants to be Massarotti for the paycheck. Murray wants to be Catfucker Jimmy Stewart for the hairline and the pussy. Murray doesn’t need to be disgraced and humiliated by “winning” Mediot Madness. Being Jim Murray already accomplished that. My vote: Murray
And that’s just one guy’s opinion.
An astute reader noticed that I was 100% on the 1 PM games last week. $$$$. Also an editorial note, the return percentages posted last week should have been 275% and 1830% as I forgot to multiply by 100. Last weeks returns: 500% on the week, 2200% YTD.
BET in bold:
Broncos +1.5/Jaguars -1.5 – Ye Olde, Russ Wilson.
Steelers +10.5/Eagles -10.5 – Pittsburg takes Philly phans down a peg by covering.
Patriots -2.5/Jets +2.5 – Pats recover from their Monday Night trap game fiasco. Whoever QBs owns.
Raiders -1.5/Saints +1.5 – Have the haters apologize to Taysom Hill yet?
Cardinals +3.5/Vikings -3.5 – Say “Nuke Hopkins” more.
Dolphins -3.5/Lions +3.5 – Lions pull off the straight upset against Hardo Campell’s old team. BET.
Bears +10/Cowboys -10 – Justin (I call him that as 5th generation Big10) keeps the cover train rolling, bro.
Panthers +4/Falcons -4 – The Panthers continue to prove that YOUR super weapon RB is irrelevant.
Titans +1/Texans -1 – Titans play like shit and commit a bunch of dumb penalties but Coach Vrabes pulls it out (no offense, Josh Primo).
49ers -1/Rams +1 – Which coach here is the current golden boy?
Comanders +3/Colts -3 – I doubt Snyder and Irsay will be sharing a post game hooker after this one.
Giants +3.5/Seahawks -3.5 – Geno revenge game.
Packers +10.5/Bills – 10.5 – They should play this game in December. #ColdAsFuck
MONDAY NIGHT SPECIAL
Bengals -3.5/Browns +3.5 – Burrows is back, baby!
PROP OF THE WEEK
I am on DeVonta Smith OVER 55.5 receiving yards against the porous Steelers secondary. Especially after a different DeVonta (sic) killed the over for me last week.
Last weeks picks went 9-3-1. This is pretty easy when you understand that referees use very specific techniques to get teams in trouble early… pass interference, phantom holding, etc. Up 27.5% on the week, +183% YTD. Tom Brady did let me down, but he’s getting divorced and looks like a Jack Skellington cosplayer so I’ll let it slide this time.
BET in Bold:
Falcons +6.5/Bengals -6.5 – I have no idea who the Falcons coach is.
Lions +6.5/Cowboys -6.5 – Jerry Jones and RKK exchanged words, RKK exchanged vows with a women who totally loves him.
Colts +2.5/Titans – 2.5 – Irsay wants to oust Synder for gross ethical malpractice. What a world.
Packers -4.5/Commandeers +4.5 – Wentz is out, Rodgers is still not out.
Buccaneers -13/Panthers +13 – Bonus bet, which is greater: The number of practices Brady skipped this week or Offensive teammates he yells at on Sunday?
Giants -3/Jagwires +3 – I’ll say it. Trevor Lawrence looks like a girl.
Browns +6.5/Ravens -6.5 – No love lost between these rivals who are kind of the same franchise but not really.
Texans +6.5/Raiders -6.5 – This would have been the battle of former New England anonymous source yappers if Easterby hadn’t be unceremoniously let go to pursue a career in stand-up comedy/selling Jesus themed inspirational desk calendars.
Seahawks +4.5/Chargers -4.5 – Is Carroll ever going to let someone cook?
Chiefs -1/49ers +1 – Hey did you know Christian McAfree’s dad played for Kyle Shanahan’s dad? Interesting.
Steelers +7.5/Dolphins -7.5 – Swaggy genius head coach has his team well below sea level in Miami when it comes to point differential. I’m taking Swaggy non-genius head coach to win outright. BET.
MONDAY NIGHT SPECIAL –
Bears +8/Patriots -8 – Bears cover but Patriots win. We learn nothing.
PROP BET OF THE WEEK
I love OVER 81.5 receiving yards for Davante Adams. Raiders have to get all they can out of him before he’s thrown in prison for lightly shoving a misplaced camera person.
Welcome to the world of quasi-legal sports betting!** We here at the15 noticed a dearth of gambling content on the internet and saw an opportunity to expand the #brand to include completely well thought out NFL betting advice*. Apologies for missing the first 5 weeks but there were extensive negotiations including emails and multiple phone interviews required to bring this to you.
BET in bold:
49ers -5.5/Falcons +5.5 – Falcons stink right?
Pats -1.5/Browns +1.5 – This one will be over faster than a Deshaun Watson massage and far less messy
Jets +7.5/Packers -7.5 – Jets cover in the battle of QBs with family issues
Jags +7/Colts -7 PUSH – Who the hell even cares
Vikings +3/Dolphins – 3 – Have more concussed QBs, Miami. You can’t!
Bengals -1/Saints +1 – This is my BET bet of the week. No way this one misses.
Ravens -3.5/NY Football Giants +3.5 – You see they call him “Wink” Martindale like the game show host. Timely reference.
Buccaneers -3.5/Steelers +3.5 – Sure, bet against Brady versus the Steelers and big brain Mike Tomlin. I dare you.
Panthers +9/Rams -9 – Panthers fans are ready for basketball season.
Cardinals -2.5/Seahawks +2.5 – Take the fictional birds of prey to cover versus the real birds of baseball.
Bills -1.5/Chiefs +1.5 – Lesser of two evils I suppose.
Cowboys PK/Eagles PK – Phillies in the playoffs and Eagles remaining unbeaten? BET. City of of Brotherly Love (S/O Vern)
MONDAY NIGHT SPECIAL –
Broncos +3/Chargers -3 – Chargers win the battle of extemporaneous 4th down attempts and cover.
PROP BET OF THE WEEK
I love all the prop overs but especially Robert Tonyan O 23.5 yards receiving.
*This is neither advice nor well thought out
** If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, get help fuckface.
Howdy! We are the Summer Interns of the15net dot com! Some of us are new, some are holdovers from the 2021-22 academic year. Mr. Scartelli and a plurality of the 15 insisted we “stop being testaments to uselessness” so we will be running occasional polls this summer. So without further ado:
Our very own @ironheadbjbsj is hearing that he’ll soon be full time at WEEI.
More to come, as this story develops. But might the rats already be scattering? Fair to ask the question.
UPDATE:
Pushing readers to the Providence Journal? 🤔
UPDATE:
Why hasn’t BSJ writer McAdam tweeted since the end of last week? 🤔🤔
Sunday Night Football this week brings a bittersweet feeling to the area. Much like Robert Parish’s Chicago Bulls ring, many in the area wish that Tom Brady just called it quits and retired as a member of the New England Patriots. Many will speculate as to why he left. Disrespected, sick of the coach, wanted to keep playing, money, all of the above, none of the above. Just like someone with an iPhone thinks that they are Ansel Adams, and someone selling GAP insurance on auto loans thinks that they are an epidemiologist, the local media failed its followers, yet again. Stories blaming the coach, the owner, the player…they’ve all surfaced this week. Much like declining a call from TEC, some conversations are better kept to themselves.
Someday, Bill, or Tom, or maybe even both, will write the book. Until then, all of the stories and speculation are simply heresay. This is the last we will speak of this matter for a few paragraphs.
This is a large game for the Patriots, and mainly because it can get them to 2-2 early in the season. Unlike the Indianapolis Colts, the Patriots understand that there are no banners hung for regular season records, or anything that goes on in the regular season (except that blasphemous 16-0 banner that was hung after the 2007 season). A large part of this game is going to hinge on the health of Trent Brown. I firmly believe that he would have been out there last week, but they wanted to give him one more week to get healthy; as this is going to be more of a pass protect line this week.
Tampa Bay comes to Foxboro off a 10 point road loss in Los Angeles. Matthew Stafford threw for 343 yards and 4 TDs in a game that wasn’t even as close as the final score indicated. Look for New England to play fast on offense. Losing an offensive weapon as versatile as James White is not going to be easy as well, but as the Patriots mantra has always been, next man (sic) up.
From a defensive standpoint, look for the Patriots front line to be a key factor in the game. As reported by the fake/real/not sure Spike King, it appears that former Arizona Wildcat star TE Robert Gronkowski is going to be doubtful out for this game. That said, the weapons that the Bucs bring in on offense are quite impressive. Former domestic abuser and sexual harasser turned non-Patriot and now great guy Antonio Brown is likely to play this week, after missing last week due to COVID concerns. I have a call in to my doctor friend, Jim in Peabody to see if he will be okay or if he will need to be masked during the game. Mike Evans and Orenthal James Howard also bring spark to the Tampa Bay offense. Can expect numerous defensive backs shuttling in and out for the Patriots, in an effort to stay fresh.
Abbott and Costello. Peanut Butter and Jelly. Coffee and Cigarettes. Benzos and MAGA talk. None of these the same without the other. The same has been said for Brady and Belichick. Yet, the first chapter has already been written. We’ll see what the next chapter has in store.
The Buccaneers come in as a 7 point road choice. It’s all the same; only the names have changed. Except for the man coaching the Patriots. The Owl. Since the year 2000, the Patriots are 9-2 ATS in games they are grabbing 7 or more. I’ll take the points. Think this ends up a FG game at the end. Time will tell who comes out on top.
Sunday brings us the showdown that we’ve all been waiting for. So, friends, get your apple picking out of the way sooner than later. Enjoy the Saco IV show. Get all those pesky chores done a little early. While we all know Saturdays are For the Boys, we might have to extend that into Sunday this week.
S. Tzu-Pei is an Intern and Lead NFL Writer for The15.
A few days ago, a billboard disparaging the wise owl (???) coach of the New England Patriots, Bill Belichick, appeared on RTE 1 to much promotion from 98.5 The Sports Hub.
If the moniker “Jake in Boston” wasn’t enough of a tell that this is a deranged sports radio fan who has had their thinking so twisted up that they’d spend thousands of dollars to shit on his alleged favorite team to get attention from his Hub heroes, then his updated version of the billboard sure made it clear. Citing coaching tree record, a trivial concept that Belichick has zero control over and doesn’t exist anywhere but in the world of call-in sports talks.
Seems like somebody wants attention. But he’s sending mixed messages. Having his face blurred out for a television interview, as if he thinks he delivered a literal killshot to the eight time Super Bowl winning coach and has entered witness protection.
Well, it doesn’t work like that, cupcake.
Sorrey!
From an interview a while back:
Who is Jake from Boston?
Exactly who you thought he was.
The 15 