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Football Cat’s Week 4 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on October 2, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

The calendars may gave flipped to October, but our top scientists at CoCoRaHSS have discovered a strange atmospheric phenomenon, emanating out of One Patriot Place, resulting in all of New England being transported back to Mid-Maye!

The “Community Collaborative Rain, Hail, Snow and Suck Network”, more commonly known as CoCoRaHSS (pronounced KO-ko-rozzzzzzz), is a grassroots volunteer network of backyard football/weather observers of all ages and backgrounds, working together to map precipitation and piss poor quarterbacking in their local communities.

Sunday Lunch Time
Colts (-3) at Commanders
Indianapolis Jones skins Commies

Jets at Bears (-3)
Da Bears scramble the Jets

Titans at Ravens (-11.5)
Tits may be ass

Packers (-3.5) at Buccaneers
Green topples Tampa in the “Battle of the Bays”

Patriots at Bills (-6.5)
Bills batter Bledsoe 2.0

Drew Bledsoe but with an extra chromosome

Jaguars at Bengals (-2.5)
Spots over Stripes

It’s advanced fashion, you wouldn’t understand

Cardinals (-1) at Giants
Due to Jaxson’s injury, Brother Jim told Brother John to get JJ to back up Jamesis. J-Men win!

Rams (-2) at Eagles
American Birds soar over road weary Rams

Cowboys at Texans (-2.5)
Houston has too many problems

Félicette made it back alive, suck it Laika

Sunday Dinner Time
Dolphins at Vikings (-10)
With Arch Manning in Miami and Dante Moore with the Jets, in 6 months the Patriots may have the worst QB in the division. Minni over Miami.

Chargers at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds make Brother Jim wish he had traded for JJ McCarthy

Chiefs (-4.5) at Raiders
The Autumn Wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He’ll knock you ’round and upside down, and laugh when he’s conquered and won… but not this time!

Broncos at 49ers (-3)
Bucking Billies struggle at sea level

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions (-3.5) at Panthers
Black Cats dethrone Jungle Kings

Monday Prowl Time
Falcons at Saints (-2.5)
In a stunning reversal, Popes penetrate Penix

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 4)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! And prizes were won! Congratulations to the two winners! Football Cat’s usually dependable intuition was doubtless affected by the humidity from the nor’easter.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. Usually. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Colts at Commanders

Jets at Bears

Jaguars at Bengals

Cardinals at Giants

Rams at Eagles

Packers at Buccaneers

Patriots at Bills

Titans at Ravens

Cowboys at Texans

Dolphins at Vikings

Chiefs at Raiders

Broncos at 49ers

Chargers at Seahawks

Lions at Panthers

Falcons at Saints (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our classy group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 3)

Posted on September 25, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! But so far, the best anyone has done is eked out a tie! Insufficient!

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Chargers at Bills

Panthers at Browns

Texans at Colts

Jets at Lions

Patriots at Jaguars

Chiefs at Dolphins

Titans at Giants

Bengals at Steelers

Seahawks at Commanders

Cardinals at 49ers

Vikings at Buccaneers

Raiders at Saints

Ravens at Cowboys

Rams at Broncos

Eagles at Bears (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our autumnal group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

It’s like I’m in *Blade Runner*, or Wobey Mike’s idea of Seattle.

Football Cat’s Week 3 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on September 25, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

🚨 A Storm Team 15 Weather Alert! 🚨

If that crazy, fat, bald, old man who lives alone in his creepy basement apartment has seemed extra irritable lately, it’s not only because he’s been getting his teeth kicked in on Twitter every day (although that’s 99% of the reason). It’s also because his rheumatism is probably acting up due to the impending Nor’easter (that and his eleven meniscus surgeries).

Nor’easter Preparedness Tips:

Stock Up on the 4 B’s: Beer, Bread, Batteries and Beer
Secure the Exterior: Bring patio furniture, garbage cans, and any small children indoors
Protect Windows: Baseball season isn’t over, but it might be time to install the storm windows
Clear Drainage: Send your wife up the ladder to clean out the gutters and downspouts
Vehicle Prep: Keep your gas tank full. Remember, much like your beer fridge: “half full is empty”
Check on Your Elderly Neighbors: They may have some extra beer

Stay safe, keep your paws dry, and remember: if the house blows away, you still have eight lives left.

Sunday Lunch Time
Chargers at Bills (-7)
Bills short circuit Bolts

Panthers (-2.5) at Browns
Black cats poop out Brown turds

Texans (-2.5) at Colts
Someone has to win, and Indy lost the coin flip

“What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”

Jets at Lions (-6.5)
Kings of Beasts feast fancy on Gino’s Jets

Patriots at Jaguars (-2.5)
Spotted cats pounce on Maye’s many mistakes

Chiefs (-11.5) at Dolphins
Miami is definitely “Planning for Manning”©

Titans at Giants (-6)
Tits bounce G-Men

Bengals (-3.5) at Steelers
Stripey cats won’t be caged

Seahawks (-6.5) at Commanders
Fake Seabirds soar in the Swamp

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at 49ers (-8.5)
Purdy’s cats swallow pretty red birds

Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you

Vikings at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Bucs shake and bake the Norsemen

Raiders at Saints (-3)
Saints stay above the Mendoza line

Ravens (-3) at Cowboys (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
Pássaros pretos assustadores venceram os gauchos

*Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil*?

Sunday Prowl Time
Rams (-2.5) at Broncos
Horny sheep thrive at elevation

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Bears (-3.5)
American Birds leave Bears bawling

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 2)

Posted on September 18, 2026 by TheIntern15 One comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Fun! Prizes!

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Panthers at Falcons

Vikings at Bears

Bengals at Texans

Steelers at Patriots

Packers at Jets

Eagles at Titans

Saints at Ravens

Browns at Buccaneers

Jaguars at Broncos

Raiders at Chargers

Seahawks at Cardinals

Commanders at Cowboys

Dolphins at 49ers

Colts at Chiefs

Giants at Rams (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t the way of your people, post them on the Twitter and our swell new batch of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

The cat is putting in the work, are you?

Football Cat’s Week 2 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on September 18, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

A statement for immediate release from New England Patriots and Gillette Stadium Owner Robert Kraft…

🚨 LOCAL MUSICIANS WANTED 🚨

Are you looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

Do you possess an instrument, a pulse, and absolutely zero financial ambitions?

Do you know how to keep your opinions to yourself?

Brilliant! Because we have the perfect opportunity for YOU! We are putting together a band to open for legendary singer songwriter and all around mensch, Mr. Ed Sheeran on September 25th and 26th. Our previously booked act, a highly unprofessional meshugener schmuck, tragically canceled on us. That putz’s loss is your golden opportunity!

What We Offer
Unparalleled Exposure: Play for a stadium full of people that was expecting someone else entirely!
The Thrill of the Rescue: Bask in the heroic glory of saving our event from absolute disaster.
Complimentary Air: Breathe all the ambient oxygen you want while on stage.
Free Refreshments: A half-empty cooler of lukewarm Gatorade awaits you backstage, plus one (1) complimentary bologna sandwich after your performance is complete. (NOTE: The sandwich will only be available on night two.)

What We Need
Anyone who can carry a tune, hold a beat, or at least look convincing pretending to do so. Someone with absolutely no opinions on anything, especially regarding an obscure ongoing minor dispute in the Middle East. A performer with a deep, spiritual understanding that “art is its own reward” – because you won’t be getting paid.

If this sounds like you, please bring your gear and your talent down to One Patriot Place. We will supply the mandatory blue square pin.

Sunday Lunch Time
Panthers (-1.5) at Falcons
Black Cats pounce on predators

Vikings at Bears (-5.5)
Bears knockout Norsemen

Bengals at Texans (-3)
Stripey Cats give Houston problems

Steelers at Patriots (-5.5)
Kraft bans Qanon Rodgers from preforming at Gillette

Packers (-4) at Jets
Meatmen grind up Gotham

Eagles (-7) at Titans
American birds top Tits

Saints at Ravens (-8.5)
Scary Black Birds martyr Saints

Browns at Buccaneers (-8.5)
Bucs bake Brownies

Sunday Dinner Time
Jaguars at Broncos (-3)
Spotty cats love high places

Raiders at Chargers (-7)
Plugs turn out Vegas lights

Seahawks (-4.5) at Cardinals
Fake Seabirds swarm pretty red birds

Commanders at Cowboys (-3.5)
Cowboys master Commanders

Dolphins at 49ers (-12.5)
Prospectors fry fish

Sunday Prowl Time
Colts at Chiefs (-6.5)
Watch out Men of Czonka, 17-0 is still on the table

Don’t go popping that champagne just yet

Monday Prowl Time
Giants at Rams (-7)
Horny sheep gore G-men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 1)

Posted on September 11, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

Fun! Prizes!

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Bears at Panthers

Buccaneers at Bengals

Ravens at Colts

Saints at Lions

Bills at Texans

Browns at Jaguars

Jets at Titans

Falcons at Steelers

Packers at Vikings

Commanders at Eagles

Dolphins at Raiders

Cardinals at Chargers

Cowboys at Giants

Broncos at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our shiny new batch of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

Time to gnaw the tape. What’s that? Grind tape? Agree to disagree.

Football Cat’s Super Bowl LX Pick

Posted on February 6, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

The Patriots are back in the Super Bowl for the 12th time in the past 41years. For all you non-math majors out there, that equates to 29.3% of the time. Not bad for a franchise that used to play in a Zayre’s parking lot back in the AFL days.

The Patriots have now been to 4 more Super Bowls than any other team, with an overall record of 6-5 heading into Sunday’s game. If they win, they will break a tie with the Steelers for the most wins in Super Bowl history. If they lose, they will break a tie with the Broncos for most losses in Super Bowl history. So win or lose they are guaranteed to make history. We here at Football Cat World Headquarters just hope everyone has fun!

Speaking of fun, here is a fun fact: Sam Darnold is 0-4 against the Patriots in his career, three losses with the Jets and one with the Panthers. He has thrown 1 touchdown and 9 interceptions, with a combined passer rating of 41.2. The Patriots are the monkey in Sam Darnold’s wrench.

Are YOU really going to lose to Sam Darnold?

And as we head into the long off season, remember Tom Brady may hate you but Football Cat loves you. See you in September.

Sunday Dinner Time
Seahawks (-4.5) at Patriots
Fake Seabids can’t exorcise these ghosts. Drake Maye IS!

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Conference Picks 2026

Posted on January 23, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Not only do we have an AFC Championship game to look forward to on Sunday, but we also have the storm of the century bearing down on our beloved six state region, yes even Rhode Island. How much snow will YOU get? Well, that depends on many factors: how close to the benchmark the storm is, where does any banding set up, what is the QPF and how much love you have in your heart.

And before you rush out to the stores to stock up on bread and milk, remember these wise words:
“Look, I’m not saying I could do it better than them. I’m just saying they’re wrong a lot. That’s a fact. They’re wrong a lot. We all make mistakes. I’m not being critical of them, I’m just saying I don’t think you can go based on that. My experience of going with the forecast in this area two days before the game, I mean I’d bet a lot that they’re wrong, just based on history because they’re almost always wrong. An hour before the game, maybe. You might have something to work with there. I think if you start game planning for what the weather is going to be and you game plan wrong, you’ve wasted a lot of time.” – Bill Belichick, October 31, 2014

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Patriots (-4.5) at Broncos
Patriots bust Broncos

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams at Seahawks (-2.5)
Horny Sheep spook Darnold

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Divisional Round Picks

Posted on January 16, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

It’s been a fun week basking in the glory of the first Patriots playoff win since Super Bowl LIII, but now it’s time to focus on the next opponent, the Houston Texans. What better way to break it all down, than a Dan Shaughnessy style look at how each team’s respective home town matches up with the other.

Houston has the Johnson Space Center.
Foxborough has the Gillette Stadium Lighthouse.
Advantage: Patriots

The landlocked lighthouse is much more impressive

Well there you have it, bet your kid’s college tuition on the home team and thank us later

Saturday Dinner Time
Bills at Broncos (-1.5)
Buffalo sauces Nix

Saturday Prowl Time
49ers at Seahawks (-7)
Fake Seabirds rain on Purrrdy’s parade

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Texans at Patriots (-3)
As that great Patriot, Patrick Star once opined: “The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb old stupid Texas! “