The 15

02/04/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on February 4, 2026 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*This hat does not come with a free bowl of soup.*

I hope when BB does get in he sends Jordon to accept for him like Sacheen Littlefeather.

Stadium Series Bag Job.

No one likes a salary dump more than the Boston Red Sox.

The Cool Kids table once more eludes Mister Kraft.

Mike Conley Jr. would fill the ‘defensive guard with a white wife’ spot on the C’s roster.

Gronk really white-knuckles his ad reads with Edelman, doesn’t he?

Vučević brings a lot of Montenegrin delicacies like priganice and palacinke. Culinarily speaking it really opens up the dessert spacing.

After 35 years of eligibility, it’s finally Ken Anderson’s turn!

Cakes are cooking for Gary Conway, John Schuck, John Steel, Florence LaRue, Johnny Gamble, Dan Quayle,Jeannie Wilson, Alice Cooper, Michael Beck, James Dunn, Robert Jan Stips, Patrick Bergin, Jerry Shirley, Lisa Eichhorn, Kitarō, Lawrence Taylor, Denis Savard, Clint Black, Dan Plesac, Kevin Wasserman, Brandy Ledford, Joe Sacco, Gabrielle Anwar, Rob Corddry, Oscar De La Hoya, Natalie Imbruglia, Cam’ron, Gavin DeGraw, Kimberly Wyatt, Carly Patterson, and Charlie Barnett.

I prefer my jerseys the way Bob Kraft likes his handjobs – cheap and from Asia.

Dave Portnoy runs like he tore both groin muscles. WTF.

NBA season doesn’t technically start until Dennis Schroder gets traded.

Lindsay Vonn must have been a hockey player in a past life.

Gosling always gets lumped in with Reynolds because of the first name. But Gosling is 100 times the actor that Reynolds is. Obviously chicks and gay men like him but he can actually act.

No news story involving an au pair has ever ended well.

Blue Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a maintenance train inspecting the overhead wires on the main line. Trains may stand by at stations.

Sean McDonough loves to talk about anything other than what’s going on the ice at that time.

Veronica’s Dad > Steve Burton’s daughter

News Item: Jeffrey Epstein scouted women for New York Giants co-owner Steve Tisch. Turns out the girls couldn’t play football so they then panicked and drafted Evan Neal.

Things that only happen flying out of Providence: Seeing your car in the long-term parking lot from the plane.

Hey gang of middle school sweethearts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I like Ann Michael. Kinda cute and she’s not a psychotic Brazilian.”

Max Shulga has a monk haircut.

I predict that Bad Bunny will be the Star of the Super Bowl. It will be the ICING on The Cake.

Was kinda hoping the Cs would start all the white guys for the inaugural Pioneers Classic. For the Lol’s!

What’s less believable? That Robin Leach killed somebody in front of a bunch of witnesses, or that someone actually enjoyed a Bill Speros column?

Goalie fights are fun, but also gay.

You know it’s healthy when you describe the flavor by color and not an actual flavor.

Just wait until someone reads the news to Ted Johnson!

Mike Conley Jr. looks like he was designed in a lab for the sole purpose of being called ‘Unc’ by other black people.

McKone’s hair on Terri Schiavo-style life support.

How does one go about watching more overtime hockey than most people? Sounds like a Zamboni driver’s lament.

Oh, mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your lives in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun.

Well, I got one foot on the platform
The other foot on the train
I’m goin’ back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain.

Even for a radio guy, Jon Wallach is shockingly untalented.

Could a senile old man list the rosters of the 1954 and 1955 Fort Wayne Pistons? I think not!

Honk if you remember the original Floramo’s.

Imagine the poor Ukrainian sex-trafficking victim who had to listen to Kraft slur on about his RKK Air Force 1s.

These “in sports” people never fail to see the hypocrisy of them smirking and snarking their way through Black Monday (and mixed Thursday) and then crying about the Washington Post closing down its Sports Page.

Jordon Hudson has been 24 years old longer than Melanie Wilkes was pregnant with Beau in Gone With the Wind.

One confusing thing is that Super Bowl LX is pronounced the same as Super Bowl LIX.

No nights off in the Big East except for most of them.

Best bet for the weekend: Hype, hype, and then, even more hype.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Brother John Irons, Joe Giza, Old Friends Directional Brian and Moe’s Tavern and the members of #the15 were used in this column. No more Mister Nice Guy.

*Bianca is wearing her road whites too.*

01/28/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on January 28, 2026 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*And now you hand the trophy to Jonathan, that’s what you do with it.*

Well, at least the NFL Network won’t be airing irrefutable evidence of Bill’s first-ballot career over the next ten days. Wait…

it’s clear there’s a QB controversy in Denver. How can they keep a superstar like Jarrett Stidham on the bench???

When they say that Diggs has had four kids this year, do they mean in the last 28 days?

Was the Pro Football Hall of Fame going to have Dylan Mulvaney announce the 2026 inductees? What a self-own.

Wow. Terry Pegula throwing McDermott directly under the Zubaz-themed bus and driving over multiple times. He says “the coaching staff” wanted Keon Coleman and Brandon Beane was just “being a team player.” Woah.

Vance Joseph looks like he manages a McDowell’s.

Imagine how good Joe Mazulla’s coaching record would be if he knew to call a timeout every time the opposing team goes on a 4-0 run.

Not taking the points with your backup QB and your defense playing great is spitting in the face of the Football Gods!

Ryan Leaf seems to hate a lot of the right people.

Even after a long bus ride back to Boston, Pasta is a good kid and Geekie is a scoring machine.

I don’t feel bad about making dated references to 90’s Seinfeld now that people are quoting The Warriors from 1979.

Cakes are cooking for Bill White, Alan Alda, John M. Fabian, Paul Henderson, Rick Allen, Jeanne Shaheen, Gregg Popovich, Barbi Benton, David Carl Hilmers, William “Billy Bass” Nelson Jr, Dan Higgins, Peter Schilling, Nick Price, Dave Sharp, Sam Phillips, DJ Muggs, Rakim, Sarah McLachlan, Jermaine Dye, Magglio Ordóñez, Tony Delk, Jarrod Montague, Mark Madsen, Rick Ross, Joey Fatone, Takuma Sato, Nick Carter, Elijah Wood, Andre Iguodala, Katie Nolan, and Whitney Peak.

Doesn’t happen often but the Bruins and the Celtics don’t often play on the same night BUT they do tonight.

Just wait until someone reads the news to Ted Johnson.

Speaking of The Warriors, Lou Merloni would have made the perfect Baseball Fury.

Red Line Update: Regular service between JFK/UMass and Ashmont has resumed. Trains continue to experience residual delays of about 20 minutes.

Is there really a Perkins School for the Blind hockey squad?

Happy for the biggest Patriots fan I know, the Big Cat.

Hey gang of Emerald Isle autists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “No one expects the Irish Inquisition!”

I love that fat shaming commercial, reminds me of being at a Minifan live show.

We’re on the brink of the verge of the Beanpot Tournament.

Bill needs to finally accept that medal of freedom to put the universe back in balance.

There’s just not enough college basketball on tv nowadays.

They’re going to ask all the committee voters how they voted and it’s going to total up to 55 ‘yes’ votes for Bill.

‘*These people are the same species.*‘
‘*Looks like a still from The Jenny Jones Show. “Help! My Boyfriend Keeps Eating the Couch!”*‘
‘*Sexual Dimorphism Has Entered the Chat.*‘

‘Any escape might help to smooth the unattractive truth’ – I had to look up the lyrics for Subdivisions, and I always heard ‘to smooth’ as ‘disprove’. This has been The Sports Junk Drawer’s Mondegreen Minute.

These names are annoyingly close. Mike MacDonald, Mike McCarthy, Mike McDaniel, Josh McDaniels.

Barmore hit Stidhsy like he messed with the thermostat.

Anyone catch the newest episode of “Stugotz & Company LIVE”? Yeah, me neither.

I’m going to let it slide because it’s his first one, but Coach Vrabes has to remember to immediately hand off the Lamar Hunt Trophy to Jonathan like it’s covered in broken glass and AIDS.

‘Belichick doesn’t deserve credit for drafting Christian Gonzalez’ people deserve a special place in Hell.

You think Planet Fitness was ever close to going with Fitness Planet? Or was Planet Fitness always the move?

Hell of a win by Seattle and congratulations to Sam Darnell.

The Little Debbie’s Valentine’s Day heart snack cakes are good, but nowhere near as good as the Christmas Tree snack cakes.

And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh, beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh, and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here.

Are we really acting like Jerod Mayo wouldn’t have this team in the exact same spot? Pats cut bait too soon.

All blizzards are snowstorms, but not all snowstorms are blizzards.

Out of the 7 NFC teams that made the playoffs, only the 49ers wouldn’t have been a Super Bowl rematch for the Patriots.

You let us get Snoopy’d, Rifkin!!

Every time I learn something new about Brazil, I feel that it’s just India with fatter ass-ed women.

News Item: Josh Allen will have significant say on the next coach of the Buffalo Bills. What if he said Sean McDermott?

Imagine getting angry about lobsters.

What is missing during this blizzard is Dan Rather strapped to a tree & the immortal Shelby Scott reporting knee deep in snow and howling wind.

Fist bumping Kraft must feel like dapping up the Cryptkeeper.

“Da’Jury Foreman” is a great defensive tackle name.

Apple watch fitness app needs snow shoveling category.

Honk if you remember 1971 NFL Draft first overall pick Jim Plunkett.

While appreciated, I don’t think Jonas Gray needed to have an official statement citing his departure from the team.

Mike McCarthy has corrupt Mayor physiognomy.

The Supreme Court thinks it’s weird the NFL Hall of Fame voters have lifetime appointments.

UConn may still also be a basketball school.

I would very much like to have seen Mayor Menino take a whack at saying ‘Jaxon Smith-Njigba.’

I think that fat shaming commercial was paid for by the LA Rams kicking unit.

So if Spygate and Deflategate were big problems for Belichick with the Pro Football Hall of Fame voters, will Tom Brady not make it in on the first ballot either?

Best bet for the weekend: more unasked-for trailers for Super Bowl commercials.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. We all we got. We all we need.

*And happy birthday to actress Ariel Winter.*

Football Cat’s Conference Picks 2026

Posted on January 23, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Not only do we have an AFC Championship game to look forward to on Sunday, but we also have the storm of the century bearing down on our beloved six state region, yes even Rhode Island. How much snow will YOU get? Well, that depends on many factors: how close to the benchmark the storm is, where does any banding set up, what is the QPF and how much love you have in your heart.

And before you rush out to the stores to stock up on bread and milk, remember these wise words:
“Look, I’m not saying I could do it better than them. I’m just saying they’re wrong a lot. That’s a fact. They’re wrong a lot. We all make mistakes. I’m not being critical of them, I’m just saying I don’t think you can go based on that. My experience of going with the forecast in this area two days before the game, I mean I’d bet a lot that they’re wrong, just based on history because they’re almost always wrong. An hour before the game, maybe. You might have something to work with there. I think if you start game planning for what the weather is going to be and you game plan wrong, you’ve wasted a lot of time.” – Bill Belichick, October 31, 2014

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Patriots (-4.5) at Broncos
Patriots bust Broncos

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams at Seahawks (-2.5)
Horny Sheep spook Darnold

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

01/21/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on January 21, 2026 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Lotta sports. Good thing I have 3 TVs.

Patriots win Sunday the ‘who people are rooting for in Super Bowl LX’ graphic is going to look like the 1972 presidential electoral map.

One minute your quarterback is spiking the ball backwards at midfield for no reason, the next minute you’re fired.

But I hear McDermott’s interviewing to be the number 2 guy at Al-Qaeda.

Khyiris Tonga joins the NFL “All Island” team along with James Cook, Xavier Rhodes, Howie Long, Matt Cassel, Taiwan Jones, and Jeff Ireland.

Fenway Park is officially the ‘Ranger Zone.’

I have to wonder that if the Patriots had to play Josh Dobbs this weekend if all the Boston mediots would tell Denver hosts how surprisingly good he is.

Being the new fattest guy at Barstool is like being the world’s oldest person.

Sure, Cardi B has sleep paralysis demon physiognomy, but she probably has a lovely singing voice.

When there’s something worth celebrating, Dondero is a breath of fresh air on the postgame show. At least he’s happy.

Cakes are cooking for Jack Nicklaus, Placido Domingo, Chris Britton, Jill Eikenberry, Billy Ocean, Marty Walsh, Mike Krukow, Jeff Koons, Peter Fleming, Bob Brill, Robby Benson, Detlef Schrempf, Hakeen Olajuwan, Charlotte Ross, Cat Power, Shelley Looney, Emma Bunton, Jerry Trainor, David F. Sandberg, and Luke Grimes.

If the Patriots lost Maye on a designed roll out that meant nothing I would drive McDaniels to T.F. Green myself.

Tuesday’s Wordle, yaaaaa…!!!

Here’s the thing: the sports media, they all hate their jobs. Which is why it’s so funny that they resort to “you hate me because I have your dream job” when they get criticized.

The Dedham Grant was known for its rich assortment of prized hardwoods.

The local TV news person can’t have a sports rooting interest? I’m surprised KPD would lump that riff-raff in with real journalism!

Jet fuel can’t melt pass interference.

I’ve yet to find a non-terrible person making ‘the Dodgers are not ruining baseball’ argument.

I’m convinced Sean Payton would call a pass play in victory formation.

Hey gang of opera lovers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is,”Fran Rogers gets tons of pelt.”

Fun fact: the heaters in Hondas are most efficient when set to blow hot medium.

Buffalo didn’t Stand Up for Sean McDermott.

Please remember, they’re not ‘sports betting whores’, they’re ‘clamdicappers’.

Blue Line Update: Delays of about 15 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations

I never understand throwing the jacket on the QB for 10 seconds during a stoppage in play. Doesn’t it make him want to stay under there?

Indiana was recruiting my older brother wayyyy back in the mid 2000s before they were the football program we see before us today. For that reason alone I’ve always hoped they’d find success. What an amazing story.

Harrison Meavis is an all-time terrible name.

I want Maria Taylor to toss me around with her gigantic hands.

Does Sports Illustrated know that Karalis is a real person? Because they don’t hire many of those.

Well, the brother of Carson Palmer thinks Stidham is good so that settles it: game on.

How do you have an entire organization whose mission is to combat Jewish stereotypes and then publicly bitch about paying out 0.1 % of your net worth?

I’m always team whatever TV drug is advertised. Doubly so when it affects my genitals.

Already annoyed with all the Conformity Gate BS that’s gonna come out of this SNL Episode.

You think Dart Adams ever messed around and made a Willie Bennett NBA Live player?

I just realized that candles with 2 wicks are just a scam by Big Candle to make your candles burn more quickly so you need to buy more candles.

What does Mina Kimes got to do to get a head coaching or GM interview?

Girl you’re gettin’ that look in your eyes
And it’s startin’ to worry me
I ain’t ready for no family ties
Nobody’s gonna hurry me

Just keep it friendly girl
’cause I don’t wanna leave
Don’t start clingin’ to me girl
‘Cause I can’t breathe

Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me
Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me
’cause I’ll just use you then I’ll set you free
Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me.

Using ‘The Ville’, for Louisville sounds like ‘Beantown’ or ‘Frisco’ in that nobody from there refers to it as such.

Here’s hoping the new Commanders stadium gets called the ‘RFK Jr.’

There’s never been a poor person named Tad.

I bet Rich Little does a great Frank Caliendo impression.

As an early adopter of AI, let me say this: It is far less advanced and sophisticated than normies perceive. You’re basically talking to the world’s most advanced screwdriver. Practical when you need to drive a screw. But you wouldn’t ask a screwdriver for life advice.

Honk if you remember John McEnroe getting expelled from the Australian Open.

Any college basketball games being fixed today?

Jarrett Stidham’s Arapaho name is ‘Wears Two Wristwatches’.

Think they’ll be some bad blood when the Habs visit the ol’ barn this weekend, Brick?

Nice to win the Jack Easterby Bowl.

Them Bosa brothers are about to apply for ICE TONIGHT.

Kendra is Temu Charlotte Wilder.

When did we start calling curveballs “sweepers”?

Best bet for the weekend: Flawless officiating in both Conference Championship games.

*The upcoming Tubi remake of ‘Clue’ looks amazing.*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Wild thing, I think I love you. But I wanna know for sure. So come on, hold me tight. I love you.

*And happy birthday to Wareham, Massachusetts’ Own Geena Davis.*

Football Cat’s Divisional Round Picks

Posted on January 16, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

It’s been a fun week basking in the glory of the first Patriots playoff win since Super Bowl LIII, but now it’s time to focus on the next opponent, the Houston Texans. What better way to break it all down, than a Dan Shaughnessy style look at how each team’s respective home town matches up with the other.

Houston has the Johnson Space Center.
Foxborough has the Gillette Stadium Lighthouse.
Advantage: Patriots

The landlocked lighthouse is much more impressive

Well there you have it, bet your kid’s college tuition on the home team and thank us later

Saturday Dinner Time
Bills at Broncos (-1.5)
Buffalo sauces Nix

Saturday Prowl Time
49ers at Seahawks (-7)
Fake Seabirds rain on Purrrdy’s parade

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Texans at Patriots (-3)
As that great Patriot, Patrick Star once opined: “The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb old stupid Texas! “

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams (-3.5) at Bears
Horny sheep bang da’ Bears

This is why all Bears fans support two teams

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

01/14/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on January 14, 2026 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Look, the Bregman deal was for what, five years? But those Fenway Fest memories will last a lifetime. Maybe you all should consider that.

Glad the 49ers won. I had Eagles fatigue. I was Fatigled.

And all these people like Bert Breer are liars. How can you possibly watch a sport without rooting for someone?

Pastrnak ties a franchise record with six assists, moves from 14th to 7th in the league in scoring, and isn’t even the first star of the game.

D’Ernest Gets Released. Is this on BET or Tubi?

My biggest regret is I never got to hear Shukri Wrights or Mensa Matt Wilson pronounce ‘Borregales’.

No Longer a Coach Drip knows it’s cold in Cleveland, right?

I guess this Linus Ullmark thing proves that not all hockey players are gay now.

It’s just poor planning that Jack and Jackie Harbaugh didn’t have enough kids to fill all these coaching vacancies. Phil Rivers would never.

Cakes are cooking for Don Garlits, Clarence Carter, Faye Dunaway, Holland Taylor, Ronald Hunter, Shannon Lucid, Graham Marsh, Marjoe Gortner, Nina Totenberg, T Bone Burnett, Christine Belford, Lawrence Kasdan, Mark Egan, Maureen Dowd, Jim Duggan, Chas Smash, Geoff Tate, Mike Tramp, Patricia Morrison, Steven Soderbergh, Mark Addy, Shepard Smith, Daniel J. Schneider, Kerri Green, Terry Wooden, Zakk Wylde, LL Cool J, Dave Grohl, Jason Bateman, Angela Lindvall, Byron Leftwich, Cory Gibbs, Caleb Followill, Grant Gustin, and Molly Tuttle.

It just now dawned on me that both Los Angeles football teams are named after Dodge vehicles.

Scalabrine looks like a white Klump.

Poor Kendra misses out on up to 4 weeks of tweeting about traveling for performative fandom.

I’ve been told that Season 2 of Landman sucks. I read that criticism, continued watching, then Sam fuckin’ Elliott suddenly appeared. Are you people insane?

That it’s Bregman is immaterial. It’s that they traded Devers to free up more money, lost out on Alonso, and then couldn’t even retain the guy they said they were going to retain. Fuck them. And people think they’re gonna sign Bichette?

Oregon kept calling time out like they’d have enough time for a double score after the Hoosiers went up by 28.

So the guy who can’t figure out the velcro on his wristband hasn’t won a playoff game you say?

Hey gang of quiet heroes, this week’s Phrase that Pays is: “I would say that was one of the one or two hardest decisions… It was very expensive… It’s the worst financial implication since we’ve owned the team. But I’m a fan first… That’s on me.”

With a Patriots win, what does Los Angeles Mayor Bass have to send to Mayor Wu?

I thought I was having an acid flashback hearing ‘Oronde Gadsden’.

Percale over sateen.

Gonna tell my boss that I need a month off while I eagerly follow Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank’s Oscar campaign for Marty Supreme. “Could be his year!”

Red Line Ashmont branch: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a disabled train at JFK/UMass. Trains may stand by at stations.

The Bruins knew that the Rangers were so bad on home ice this season that they made them wear their home blue jerseys to get a Rangers home ice performance. Chess not checkers.

Terrell Williams’ prostate is the MVP of the 2025 Patriots.

When you get outbid every time it’s obviously a YOU problem.

What they never tell you about the portrait of John Henry smoking his cigar by the fire is the aftermath: he fell asleep because he’s old, the cigar fell out of his mouth, and burned up all his money [which was held in loose bags of cash] and now he can’t afford Devers OR Bregman.

My aunt got me Lee Iacocca’s autobiography when I turned 14.

Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman.

I was thinking today felt like Opening Day at Fenway weather but then thought more and said they’d be lucky to have this weather for the home opener.

Jim Harbaugh always looks like something inexplicable happened.

The first day of talking radio man training they tell you not to take a position in front of a vehicle.

Tony Dungy dressed like Rosa Parks waiting for the bus.

Jaylen continually trying to get a highlight off on Wemby wasn’t thuddingly obvious and counterproductive.

Fernando Mendoza says ‘collaborative’ more than Herb Chambers’ Head Felon.

Who the fuck is Wet Leg, and why did “catch these fists” just grab me by the balls?

LA Rams could have the fattest 2 kickers in NFL history.

Kate Hudson, who has come out of nowhere to give an astonishing performance in Song Sung Blue, has been nominated for a SAG award. This means she really has a chance for an Oscar nomination, which would be deserved, as would a win.

Tell her you care each time you speak
Make it her birthday each day of the week
Bring her nice things, sugar and spice things
Roses and lollipops and lollipops and roses.

One day she’ll smile, next day she’ll cry
Minute to minute you’ll never know why
Coax her, pet her, better yet, get her
Roses and lollipops and lollipops and roses.

Why does every lady at every donut shop call me honey? That’s a little too intimate for a routine blueberry muffin purchase.

‘Sarge’ moonlights at Shea Concrete, by chewing rocks into aggregate.

What does rescind mean anyway?

Honk if you remember what denomination McDonald’s gift certificates came in.

Football & Golden Globes = major Twitter day.

The only thing I like more than replays and MVP debates is tush push arguments.

Since when did “New England” mean only Boston? Would be nice to see a lighthouse in Maine or a covered bridge in Vermont.

Alex Karaban has won 2 national titles but had never beaten Seton Hall in Newark before this week.

Does Mike McDaniel have to be interviewed twice to satisfy the Rooney Rule?

True to his word, Paul Finebaum’s going back to the old country – Ireland.

Do NFL teams get credit for extra points if their quarterback slightly looks away from his intended target as he is releasing the ball on a touchdown throw?

Best bet for this weekend: Texans leave the lettermen jackets in Houston.

*“Stand up, Miss Jean Louise…Liam Coen’s passin*g.”

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. El Dorado, woo-hoo-hoo!

And happy birthday to British model, singer, and songwriter Karen Elson,
By Paul Hudson from United Kingdom – Karen Elson at Rough Trade, CC BY 2.0,

Football Cat’s Wild Card Picks 2026

Posted on January 9, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Congratulations for surviving “Black Monday” and “Mixed Thursday”. If there’s one thing the sports media knows it’s that coaches losing their jobs is hilarious! Ha ha ha!

I don’t think we’re supposed to be talking about this

But while you’re convulsing in laughter please remember to offer thoughts and prayers to all the hardworking people affected by the imminent closing of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and the shuttering of Horse & Buggy Whip, LLC. They will be missed.

Saturday Dinner Time
Rams (-10.5) at Panthers
Black cats’ luck runs out against horny sheep

Saturday Prowl Time
Packers (-1.5) at Bears
Meat Men send Bears into hibernation

At least no one is getting ground up this time

Sunday Lunch Time
Bills at Jags (-1.5)
Guys, guys… don’t waste your money on an Esty witch. Hairy cows trample spotted cats.

The upside is more beach time for the spotty cats

Sunday Dinner Time
49ers at Eagles (-5.5)
American Birds pluck Purrrrdy’s prospectors

Sunday Prowl Time
Chargers at Patriots (-3.5)
The Patriots get their first playoff win since Super Bowl LIII

Monday Prowl Time
Texans (-3) at Steelers
Men of Steel give Houston too many problems

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat – 2025 Season Review

Posted on January 8, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

I know at least one of you is wondering, ‘how did Football Cat do picking games during the 2025 NFL regular season?’

Like this:

Week one: 11-4 Week two: 10-5 Week three: 8-7 Week four: 9-4

Week five: 6-7 Week six: 11-3 Week seven: 11-3 Week eight: 9-3 Week nine: 8-5

Week ten: 9-4 Week eleven: 9-5 Week twelve: 10-3 Week thirteen: 8-8 Week fourteen: 7-6

Week fifteen: 10-5 Week sixteen: 13-2 (Week seventeen: 5-8) Week eighteen: 9-7

(FC did not make the picks Week seventeen)

239 games picked, 158 wins, 81 losses. Not bad. Just a cat hair away from picking correctly two out of three times!

Everybody needs money. That’s why it’s called ‘money.’

Despite those gaudy numbers, Football Cat was inexplicably Beat in 2025 by Andy, Murph, and multiple time winners Vin and Warren’s Aunt! Congratulations again!

Thanks to all who read, participated, or just cheered from the cheap seats. Football Cat will Return.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

*Oh, yes, for those who have been wondering, the healthy gal in the cheetah patterned two-piece is Australian model, influencer, blogger, designer, and businesswoman Natalie Roser. You’re welcome.*

01/07/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on January 7, 2026 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*My advice: No travel. Barring that; steer into the skid.*

Now Brother Jim Harbaugh finally has a chance to sit back, collect his thoughts, and read the NFL rule book.

A 50-point game from Jaylen! And then not. But the Celtics still won!

Ballots to the Hall in Cooperstown remind us how especially terrible the baseball contingent of sports media is.

Fun Fact: David Pastrnak has the most goals scored in 2026.

With all due respect to Dua Lipa, why is NBC using a British singer to advertise the winter Olympics taking place in Milan, Italy? Am I missing a connection somewhere?

Nobody at the gym yaps more than a guy in Adidas windpants.

I’m going to give Swayman a pass for last night, he’s probably still distracted by Trocheck making Team USA.

Merry New Year!

Cakes are cooking for Frederick Drew Gregory, Jim Lefebvre, Leona Williams, Andy Brown, Jann Wenner, Kenny Loggins, Erin Gray, Sammo Hung, David Caruso, Katie Couric, Linda Kozlowski, Kathy Valentine, Jeff Montgomery, Ron Rivera, Nicolas Cage, John Ondrasik, Doug E. Doug, Jeremy Renner, Alfonso Soriano, Éric Gagné, Aloe Blacc, Ivan L. Moody, Chris Messina, Lauren Cohan, Ruth Negga, Brett Dalton, Jon Lester, Lewis Hamilton, Lamar Jackson. and Ozzie Albies.

News Item: Peacock adding enhancements that may allow fans to mute announcers, control crowd noise.

The X makes the S superfluous in ‘Jaxson.’

Tom Heinsohn was a very interesting man. Great player. Two-time championship coach. Decorated insurance man. Brilliant artist. Excellent wordsmith. You got the idea he could be good at anything he tried.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem between Aquarium and Maverick. Trains may stand by at stations.

Can we next task Delta Force with rescuing Auston Matthews from the ingrate Torontonians?

Underrated: setting your heat for 50° and coming home to it being 54°.

Damn don’t give New Era your phone number. Countless texts trying to sell me expensive baseball hats.

Hey gang of Pacific Island holdouts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’ve figured out that gifs only get fucked up in group chats. 1 on 1 chats, they’re good. I know this doesn’t help at all.”

Being in sports media is just as demanding as being an actual athlete or coach! Source: Sports media.

I see that worried look upon your face
You’ve got your troubles, I’ve got mine
She’s found somebody else to take your place;
You’ve got your troubles, I’ve got mine
I too have lost my love today
All of my dreams have flown away
Now just like you I sit and wonder why;
You’ve got your troubles, I’ve got mine
You need some sympathy, well so do I
You’ve got your troubles, I’ve got mine
She used to love me, that I know
And it don’t seem so long ago
That we were walking, and we were talking
The way that lovers do.

Anyone who kicks in my door, is getting stabbed in the throat.

Is there a DVD available for purchase of Laura Rutledge running from the sideline coach’s interview to the halftime report desk for all 17 games?

Ending credits of Stranger Things should have been to Shadows of The Night.

Amelia Earheart was as real as a person as Helen Keller.

It’s like you don’t even care to know that “Maneater” by Hall and Oates held its spot at #1 for a 3rd consecutive week this time back in 1983!

A classy statement from John Harbaugh, sent out from the Ravens. Love the emoji in his goodbye… perhaps an NFL first.

Florida is a very strange individual.

One of the wives of Cary Grant was Barbara Hutton. Her grandfather was Frank W Woolworth who was the founder of the F W Woolworth Company. Barbara’s cousin was the actress, Dina Merrill.

Honk if you remember the Blizzard of 1996.

I would like to see the Celtics wear throwback green road unis with ‘CELTICS’ on the front.

Why did Pete Carroll tarnish his legacy like that?

For nothing more than curiosity, it’d be interested to see if just once an entire cycle’s fired NFL head coaches would all join one team on the same staff and see how they could do. I’m sure there’d be jockeying about who’d be the HC or whatever but would be cool to see the collective wisdom from failure all concentrated into one effort. Just for fun.

Tony Dungy looks like if you left Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in the sun too long.

Can we argue about NFL MVP today please?

Big Sky Conference!

Best bet for the weekend: One NFL feline team wins, and one loses and goes home.

*So we’re doing it like this again, huh?*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Buckner’s Legs, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Walk like a penguin.

*And happy birthday to retired LPGA golfer Natalie Gulbis.*

TO’s & Threes – Celtics Column 01/06/26

Posted on January 6, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Is this old barn ready for unexpected playoff guests in 2026?

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

(Note: the statistics do not include Monday night’s game)

If you’d told me at the start of the season that the Celtics would be sitting at 20-12—on a 50-win pace—with a revolving cast of contributors, I’d have looked at you like you’d grown two extra heads.

The bottom line is that fans like to say they always knew when a relatively obscure bench player was on the verge of taking a leap, when in fact they don’t. Neither you nor I possess that knowledge. We’ve been wrong before. Ante Žižić, Tremont Waters, and Romeo Langford come to mind as projects we spent offseasons eagerly waiting to see blossom. Every puff piece or Reddit thread dedicated to their skills—bolstered by YouTube highlight videos—had us buying in. It isn’t a crime to want to believe every player your team drafts is a secret diamond in the rough. But one of the first lessons you learn is that it’s far likelier your team just picked a lemon with the 16th pick.

The difference between then and now is that former general manager Danny Ainge’s philosophy centered on exploiting what he saw as inefficiencies in the draft market: trying to recreate Isaiah Thomas by targeting players with similar skills and builds, and sometimes using draft-and-stash for project players. Ainge wasn’t a bad drafter, but in the later years of his regime, he exhibited traits that led to mistakes. Picking late in the first round every year means you’re the last dog at the bowl. As anyone who’s watched Moneyball knows, what happens to the runt of the litter? He dies. It’s safe to assume other teams try to implement similar strategies.

To earn attention from the coaching staff on the Celtics, one must be willing to put their body on the line. Boston draws 0.41 charges per game—10th most in the NBA. Rookie Hugo González and second-year guard Baylor Scheierman average 0.8 and 0.7, respectively.

What Mazzulla wants in his players is relentless, bulldog-like intensity coupled with consistency from three-point land. This means players are walking a delicate tightrope: slack off for one possession and you’re out; miss a rotation and you’re out. Mazzulla is quick to sub out anyone he thinks is slacking. But this roster is made up of players who won’t let that get to them. Professionalism and maturity are key. You don’t want players who accept that there will be games they won’t play in, but you also want them to maintain readiness for when they’re dusted off the bench and given 25 minutes due to whatever circumstances arise.

The three-point numbers for the rotation players are encouraging:

– Jordan Walsh — 45.1% on 1.9 attempts per game

– Josh Minott — 44.4% on 2.6 attempts per game

– Baylor Scheierman — 41.6% on 1.6 attempts per game

– Hugo González — 37.8% on 1.4 attempts per game

González has opened the door for himself by playing hard and tough for a 19-year-old rookie, displaying maturity and intangibles. His hustle plays are reminiscent of Marcus Smart. Off-ball, he’s shown a tremendous ability to cut to the basket and finish craftily. His defensive versatility thus far has been inspiring—the 6-6 rookie has held his own against big men like Karl-Anthony Towns, Bam Adebayo, and Kel’el Ware.

The offseason acquisitions Josh Minott and Luka Garza have essentially switched roles in little over a month. But Minott’s tendency to find himself in early foul trouble, inconsistent offensive input, and the Celtics’ competitive, deep bench have stapled the former Minnesota Timberwolf to the sidelines.

Conversely, Garza has assumed the title of backup big behind Neemias Queta, riding a phenomenal December to escape the doghouse. In November, he shot 55.3% from the field; in December, he raised that to 65.5%.

Outside the core players, you can’t really bank on who’ll find themselves on the floor from game to game. Josh Minott has shown he can contribute but struggles for consistent minutes. Minott began the season showcasing energy on offense, earning crunch-time minutes and even guarding the opposing team’s best player. Like González, Minott can adequately defend positions larger than his own, doing good work against players like Evan Mobley earlier in the season.

Third-year forward Jordan Walsh has played excellent defense on the likes of Tyrese Maxey and Cade Cunningham. While he’s shared crunch-time minutes with Anfernee Simons, the progression is real for Walsh.

Stevens’ ability to identify that the league is trending toward young, intense players who aren’t afraid to grind and get their hands dirty has kept this team afloat during some lean times in the first quarter of the season. And it’s because of his patience in developing players we’d largely forgotten about that the Celtics are no longer thinking about the lottery heading into 2026.

Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not live in a seaside shanty in Hull.