Fall Event Avoidance Generator

Uh uh. Nah. Nope.


Here’s a helpful stupid bullshit generator. If you hear a phrase that could be generated by this, you want nothing to do with it:

Generic sentence structure:
“You know what would be fun? A B !”
“We never go to A B anymore”
“You never want to see the A  B anymore”
“Everyone is saying (the) A  B is fun”

The boy gets it. No fun.

Column A:
pumpkin
apple
foliage
farm
corn
paint
country
cider
leaf
Salem
ghost
lantern
hay
craft
harvest
waterfront
linen
art(s)

Column B:
picking
watch
night
brunch
harvest
fair
decorating
fest(ival)
party
trail
tour
picnic
community event
ride
celebration
exhibition
stroll
maze
train
auction
5K

This will decidedly NOT be fun. At all.

“Everyone is saying the Foliage Trail is fun!”
“You know what would be fun? Farm Night!”
“We never go to the Cider Stroll anymore.”

Still no.

Yes “harvest” is in both columns; you especially want to avoid anything with “Harvest”.

This generator can be a force for good if you change the generic sentences:

“Isn’t this when you and your {relation} go(es) to the A B ?”

Relation:
Mother
Aunt
Friends

“Isn’t this when you and your mom go to the Harvest Festival?”

Mother and daughter together in park on a bright fall day, having fun and hugging, autumn leaves in the background

Submitted as a public service by The15. Originally published on the BSMW Message Board September 29, 2014, by ‘Marty Nopointe’.

Foliage Train! Weeeeee!

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 5)

Columbus brought cats to the New World.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! Congratulations again to Warren Dull’s Aunt! Going 12-3, she was one better that FC’s very respectable 11-4.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Eagles at Jaguars

Bengals at Dolphins

Vikings at Saints

Raiders at Patriots

Browns at Jets

Texans at Titans

Colts at Steelers

Giants at Commanders

Broncos at Chargers

Lions at Cardinals

Bears at Packers

49ers at Seahawks

Ravens at Falcons

Bills at Rams (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our fine group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

Get ready for the hurricane. Stay dry.

Football Cat’s Week 5 NFL Picks 2026

Wake up sheeple

From the home office in Shedd Park…

Drake Maye’s Top 5 Conspiracy Theories:
5. Fumbles aren’t real
4. Chemtrails are creating atmospheric disturbances which are increasing the number of interceptions
3. Prolonged exposure to the electromagnetic field emanating from Robert Kraft’s surveillance bunker is weakening the soft tissue of the players
2. The real Bill Belichick is being held captive in the lighthouse while his clone is out damaging his legacy
1. Fluoridation caused Mike Vrabel to have a six year affair with Dianna Russini

I do not avoid women, Drake, but I do deny them my essence

Sunday Breakfast Time
Eagles at Jaguars (-4.5)

Spotted cats enjoy a win over a spot of tea

Yeah baby!

Sunday Lunch Time
Bengals (-7.5) at Dolphins

Stripey cats feast on fish

Look a catfish


Vikings (-1.5) at Saints
Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?  Dey be the Vikings.


Raiders at Patriots (-3.5)
Birds may not be real, but Drake Maye IS!

Safety first


Browns at Jets (-2.5)
Brown out shuts down New York


Texans (-6.5) at Titans
Texans top Tits

Texan tit top


Colts at Steelers (-2.5)
Yinzy over Indy


Giants at Commanders (-3)
Greek Giant skins Washington

I thought you said “green giant”

Sunday Dinner Time
Broncos (-3.5) at Chargers

Bolts shock Broncos


Lions (-5.5) at Cardinals
Jungle Kings devour pretty red birds

Roar!


Bears (-2.5) at Packers
Meatmen grind out a win

I am not a bear


49ers at Seahawks (-3)
Fake Seabirds soar as Purrdy slumps in the perpetual rain of Seattle

Wet gray cat sitting beneath a sidewalk awning on a rainy city street
Yet another miserable rainy day in Seattle

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens (-3.5) at Falcons

Penix slaps the Scary Black Birds

Monday Prowl Time
Bills at Rams (-2.5)

Horny Sheep clip Hairy Cows

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

10/07/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Efton Chism Jr must be excited.

Me crying at my TV screen saying, “you’re still him, Drake. You’re still HIM!“

Wow. 75 years now since Bobby Thomson’s home run. And how about Dave Winfield being born that very day?

Sources close to Lane Johnson said he’s retiring to spend time around “fewer Italians.”

Wow, CBS fired Romo. He should go to Barstool and paint his face with Mut.

Celtics tickets for this coming season are flying off the proverbial shelf as usual.

I love that the Brewers’ pitching coach is named Chris Hook.

Usually I prefer nacho cheese Doritos but sometimes cool ranch hits the spot.

The Red Sox might as well be the pallbearers at my funeral…until my last breath they will let me down.

I hate Ross Tucker’s big, dumb voice. He has a ‘fat kid in middle school’ voice.

Cakes are cooking for Kevin Godley, John Mellencamp, Ricky Phillips, Tico Torres, Yo-Yo Ma, Brian Sutter, Jayne Torvill, Judy Landers, Simon Cowell, Toni Braxton, Thom Yorke, Malia Hosaka, Johnnie Morton, Priest Holmes, Allison Munn, Shannon MacMillan, Charles Woodson, Taylor Hicks, Nathaniel Rateliff, Aaron Ashmore, Shawn Ashmore, Jake McLaughlin, Evan Longoria, Lee Nguyen, Mookie Betts, and Lewis Capaldi.

Putting on my best Carhartt polo to support my rape-victim friend.

That Patriots-Bills game was totally wild. It’s Ryan Murphy show level with bizarre occurrences.

My X account has been blocked by Dan Bongino and Martina Navratilova…

This weekend has all the potential for AC and heat in the same 24 hours. Mark my words.

Red Line Update: The delay has cleared.

Hey gang with their steamer trunks covered in destination stickers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “For a guy that’s been on eight teams in four years? I mean, I guess he knows the drill.”

You ever have a morning where you’re so tired that you pour your granola into your coffee?

I’m all set with the Teddy Swims White Claw commercials.

RIP Sam McDowell. I love Pat Jordan’s immortal line, sayin’ that McDowell’s pre-game warm-up sounded like “a small thunderstorm in the bullpen.”

Yankee fans must lead the league in backwards hat wearing.

I love how the NFL stadiums have the security stand on the sidelines facing the crowd, having no clue that people are about to fly into you and shred your knee.

Every time I see Chase Meidroth, I read it as ‘Cla Meredith.’

Tyquan Thornton…… oh man.

Look, there’s a lot of shit content out there. Hard to rise above the rest enough to get me to double take, but this vampire sitcom on CBS has done it.

Lots of bodegas in Weymouth, presumably.

Dondero is really the ultimate evolution of Felgerism. Just the extreme fluctuations of takes without any regard for what he said last week or even yesterday.

Or put another way, success is going from wild ass take to wild ass take without losing enthusiasm.

Hey buddy go bang a harlot and bother someone else or I will make sure X puts you in a corner.

Roger Goodell’s earned a lot of criticism, but keeping ads off game uniforms is one of the few things for which he deserves massive kudos.

What makes you sad, what makes you blue?
I’m all in rags with nothing to lose
We could traverse and find a way through
Land in the grass and start acting like fools.

You’re a prisoner by day
Is that what you choose?
Stand in the water, baby
It’ll get you through tonight.

I would contribute to a GoFundMe for New Hampshire to get its own network TV affiliates so we wouldn’t have to watch election commercials for candidates we can’t vote for/against.

Sam Yarnell needs to boost his follower count, playboi.

Colson Yankoff, a TE and former 4-star high school QB, is now the emergency QB for Washington.

Honk if you remember Grossman’s.

Seeing Jaylen as a Sixer has pee pee river man Greenie losing control of all his bodily functions.

Hardy has burn-victim mouth.

One time on vacation I went to some butterfly reserve on the Dutch part of Saint Maarten. Asked them if they liked the band Crazy Town. They had no idea what I was talking about.

Get well soon, Marchy.

Romeo Doubs’ one-handed TD catch really got Farrah Fawcetted!

Do you think if more people in the Red Sox front office had played Horizon Zero Dawn they would have left Sonny Gray stay in and finish the inning?

Every loser crying about McDaniels was the same sack of shit up in the 300s back in the day that would cry when he’d run a draw on passing downs.

Best bet for the weekend: putting up the storm windows & taking in the potted plants and Christopher Columbus statues.

We’ll leave a saucer of milk out for you.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, Joe Posnanski, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. My heart was breaking, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me.

Bianca in body-hugging baby blue.

Guest Patriots Column – Rhamondre Stevenson, an Appreciation

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Nobody will mistake Rhamondre Stevenson for Kevin Faulk*. On any given Sunday, he might make you want to throw your remote straight through your television screen. Yet, when you step back from what he is not, you can begin to appreciate what he is—and where he will ultimately land in Patriots history. He carries the dubious honor of being that rare breed of NFL player who is completely indispensable, yet seemingly contextually unloved by the very fans who rely on him. Every Sunday, I watch the Patriots and mutter the exact same sentence to myself: “I don’t think Rhamondre has any legs left.”

He is akin to a diesel engine that refuses to die in a Foxborough winter. He isn’t on the field because he runs like Corey Dillon, and he certainly isn’t there because he possesses the historic ball security of BenJarvis Green-Ellis. Instead, he has survived multiple coaching and front-office changes because he is a quiet, reliable veteran who can pass-block with the absolute best at his position.

Mondre is essentially a perpetually loading screen. Every start to a season, his stats look completely paltry, prompting the immediate thought that his time in New England is up. Then, poof! The efficiency metrics magically turn respectable by the end of the regular season, and he finds his way right back onto the roster next autumn.

Take a look at how he starts every year when players of his caliber should theoretically be at their freshest. Instead, what should be his peak routinely acts as his statistical nadir. Four games into 2026, he is right on script-

• 2023: 60 attempts, 164 yards, 2.7 Y/A

• 2024: 65 attempts, 267 yards, 4.1 Y/A

• 2025: 31 attempts, 125 yards, 4.0 Y/A

• 2026 (Right Now): 44 attempts, 163 yards, 3.7 Y/A

Just for comparison’s sake, let us invoke the immortal Emmitt Smith. Specifically, his Arizona Cardinals era. In 2003, Smith finished his second-to-last NFL campaign with 90 carries, 256 rushing yards, 2 TDs, and a brutal 2.8 yards per attempt.

In short: every September, Rhamondre partakes in Halloween early, dressing up as a washed-up legend before completely turning the ship around in the winter.

Meanwhile, he continues to quietly compile milestones. By pushing his career totals to 5,105 scrimmage yards, he has climbed to 13th in team history. Furthermore, by punching in his 29th career rushing touchdown during an upset 29-26 win on the road against Buffalo (Stevenson compiled 47 yards on 13 rush attempts, a TD, a two-point conversion, and added 3 catches for 27 yards), he officially tied the aforementioned “Law Firm” for 10th all-time in franchise history. He’s funny like that.

There is a definitive reason why Bill Belichick loved him, and why the current regime deemed him worthy of a long-term anchor. As Belichick noted back in 2022: “He’s had a couple of really good plays in pass protection. James White-level plays. Seeing things, making adjustments, that kind of thing. He’s been a big help for us in that area of the game, whether it’s been blitz pickup, flare control, catching the ball, all of the above.” Spulpit Link

I call him Mondre, he calls me Vin. Or he would, if he knew me.

The tape matches the praise. Last year, Mondre posted a stellar 69.9 pass-blocking grade from Pro Football Focus, ranking him comfortably 5th in the entire league among qualifying backs. In stark contrast, TreVeyon Henderson’s pass blocking graded out at a brutal 30.7—ranking 62nd out of 63 qualifiers. Ironically, Henderson was highly touted for his blocking pedigree coming out of Ohio State, but the pro game has proven difficult for the young back to grasp.

Mondre is essentially an offensive lineman masquerading as a running back. He absorbs the heaviest, ugliest blows on the roster, which naturally stunts his ability to break off high-efficiency runs. Yet, the team must keep feeding him to maintain a semblance of offensive unpredictability that they simply do not possess with Henderson on the field. With Mike Onwenu out for the year, Mondre faces a grueling season that has barely even begun.

That is why his late-game knee injury against Buffalo should spark immediate concern. While his absence nominally means the higher-upside Henderson will see more action, it also means the offense has lost the only viable blocker who poses a threat as a ball carrier. Drake Maye will be highly vulnerable against the Raiders if Stevenson cannot suit up. A New England running game that was already resting inside a coffin will be lowered directly into the ground if the only remaining options are Henderson—who can run but cannot block—and fullback Reggie Gilliam—who can block but cannot run.

This article is now scaring me!

Four games in, the Patriots have already gotten more than they bargained for. Sitting at 2-2, they face winnable but highly dangerous matchups over the next two weeks against Las Vegas and New York. They are walking a tightrope that gets increasingly thinner as the injury report grows correspondingly thicker.

*- Maybe Tony Massarotti.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.

Football Cat’s Week 4 NFL Picks 2026

Back off man, I’m a scientist

The calendars may gave flipped to October, but our top scientists at CoCoRaHSS have discovered a strange atmospheric phenomenon, emanating out of One Patriot Place, resulting in all of New England being transported back to Mid-Maye!

Mid-Maye

The “Community Collaborative Rain, Hail, Snow and Suck Network”, more commonly known as CoCoRaHSS (pronounced KO-ko-rozzzzzzz), is a grassroots volunteer network of backyard football/weather observers of all ages and backgrounds, working together to map precipitation and piss poor quarterbacking in their local communities.

Sunday Lu̶n̶c̶h̶  Second Breakfast Time
Colts (-3) at Commanders
Indianapolis Jones skins Commies

Commies… I hate those guys

Jets at Bears (-3)
Da Bears scramble the Jets

Titans at Ravens (-11.5)
Tits may be ass

Gluteus Catsimus

Packers (-3.5) at Buccaneers
Green topples Tampa in the “Battle of the Bays”

Patriots at Bills (-6.5)
Bills batter Bledsoe 2.0

Drew Bledsoe but with an extra chromosome

Jaguars at Bengals (-2.5)
Spots over Stripes

It’s advanced fashion, you wouldn’t understand

Cardinals (-1) at Giants
Due to Jaxson’s injury, Brother Jim told Brother John to get JJ to back up Jamesis. J-Men win!

Rams (-2) at Eagles
American Birds soar over road weary Rams

Cowboys at Texans (-2.5)
Houston has too many problems

Félicette made it back alive, suck it Laika

Sunday Dinner Time
Dolphins at Vikings (-10)

With Arch Manning in Miami and Dante Moore with the Jets, in 6 months the Patriots may have the worst QB in the division. Minni over Miami.

Chargers at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds make Brother Jim wish he had traded for JJ McCarthy

Chiefs (-4.5) at Raiders
The Autumn Wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He’ll knock you ’round and upside down, and laugh when he’s conquered and won… but not this time!

Autumn wind? Sounds chilly

Broncos at 49ers (-3)
Bucking Billies struggle at sea level

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions (-3.5) at Panthers

Black Cats dethrone Jungle Kings

Monday Prowl Time
Falcons at Saints (-2.5)

In a stunning reversal, Popes penetrate Penix

Please your Holiness, no more Penix

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 4)

Football Cat is unaccustomed to losing.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! And prizes were won! Congratulations to the two winners! Football Cat’s usually dependable intuition was doubtless affected by the humidity from the nor’easter.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. Usually. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Colts at Commanders

Jets at Bears

Jaguars at Bengals

Cardinals at Giants

Rams at Eagles

Packers at Buccaneers

Patriots at Bills

Titans at Ravens

Cowboys at Texans

Dolphins at Vikings

Chiefs at Raiders

Broncos at 49ers

Chargers at Seahawks

Lions at Panthers

Falcons at Saints (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our classy group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

I will name this leaf, ‘Ryan.’

Guest Patriots Column – The Cost of Apathy: Drake Maye and the Patriots’ Complete Collapse

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

You know what the most jarring experience was for me on Sunday? It wasn’t watching my franchise quarterback get obliterated, benched, and look worse by comparison to the backup who usurped him. It was the fact that I don’t care. Not “I don’t care” like I don’t care if they win or lose, or “I don’t care” because I have a steadfast belief that Drake Maye will turn it around. It is an apathy born from asking myself what else did I expect?, knowing we’ll likely see the exact same thing next week.

My only regret is that I previously said, “Maybe the Jaguars’ tendency to blitz will cause Maye to make fewer mistakes, not more!” Nice prognosis, idiot. Maye was pressured on a staggering 48.4% of his dropbacks.

In my defense, all of Maye’s mistakes actually came when he was facing little duress. That being said, his refusal to take what the defense gives him is maddening. He simply refuses to hit the open player underneath, on the sideline, or execute anything that isn’t high-risk.

Though they only scored six points, they managed to get the ball onto the Jaguars’ side of the field seven times. Each time, they failed to score a touchdown. Instead, they coughed up three critical turnovers—two interceptions and a lost fumble by Maye—ultimately walking away with only two field goals. According to Sports Bureau and NextGenStats tracking data, this ties the highest number of drives an NFL team has advanced into an opponent’s territory without scoring a touchdown in over two decades (matching a 2003 Patriots-Browns game).

The right side of the Patriots’ offensive line was a revolving door. Since losing Mike Onwenu the week prior, his replacement, Greg Van Roten, was also injured early in the contest, leading to a total collapse of protection. Veteran Morgan Moses committed a holding penalty born from bad technique, negating what would have been a 21-yard touchdown run by Maye.

(Maye had 5 WRs open here)

Maye’s short-term regression is indicative of how poorly Eliot Wolf constructed this team, putting all of his eggs in the A.J. Brown basket. Long-term, it is important to remember that Maye is not the first of a new wave of quarterbacks to suddenly regress after an initial breakout.

The more the league trends toward moving the ball up the field while only half-heartedly embracing a conservative scheme, the more this same story will play out for reasons beyond on-field personnel and the offensive coordinator. Trevor Lawrence struggled mightily until this past season, often waxing and waning, until finally learning enough that you can confidently say he’s a quarterback you can win your division with. There was no magic elixir, no change in play-calling, and no influx of talent. His brain finally learned how to play football. It is that simple fact fans don’t wish to accept as reality for Maye: he does not know how to play football yet. Full stop.

Bad Mechanics, anyone?

The people clamoring for him to be Tom Brady—to be a model of consistent excellence for 20 years—need to get their heads checked. He’ll never be that, and we’ll likely never see that again. What we can get is year-after-year development into a solid, savvy quarterback who won’t make it his personal mission to give the ball away. He’s 24 and a bit of a moron, but what we saw in 2025 doesn’t magically disappear overnight.

For the first three games of this season, the Patriots offense has scored 29 points on 30 drives. You know what that is comparable to? The 2021 New York Jets, led by Zach Wilson. (Link to the tweet that is proof of this —

I never thought I’d be clamoring for Cam Ward to be my quarterback three games into the year, yet here we are. Is Ward good? Certainly not. He misses open guys routinely and scored only seven points against the Giants in a game that was begging to be taken. But you know what he doesn’t do? Turn the ball over. If Maye had Ward’s paltry stats of two touchdowns and one interception, as opposed to one touchdown and six interceptions, this team is 2-1—or hell, maybe 3-0 if they could give their defense a needed respite. Give me the quarterback who understands on some macro level that he sucks and plays within his limitations over the quarterback who says all the right things about accountability but goes out there and makes the same mistakes. At this point, any Patriots possession that ends in a punt rather than a turnover should be welcomed.

Is it a sign of defeat when you say not to expect a championship-level quarterback this season, next season, or even the season after that? Of course it is! But you shouldn’t hope for Maye to be that right now because it’s akin to banging your head against a wall. Just hope he becomes someone the Patriots are willing to keep around on a reasonable salary when his rookie contract is torn up. They won’t do it, and they absolutely shouldn’t do it, but I’d be inclined to want to see Tommy DeVito out there—knowing he isn’t any good—out of sheer curiosity to see if my inclination that this is largely Maye’s fault is correct. In the stint DeVito had in garbage time against Jacksonville, he did not turn the ball over, completed three passes for 30 yards, and logged an efficient 77 passer rating. The ball came out quickly, and the Patriots played a cleaner brand of offense in that little stint than at any point prior this season.

If you were to ask me in August how I saw this first matchup against the Bills going, I’d tell you both quarterbacks would try to keep the opposing team in the game, and ultimately it would come down to coaching and the fact that Buffalo’s defense stinks, allowing the Patriots to eke out a win. Now? I thoroughly expect a boat race. The good news is that after Buffalo, the Patriots have two easier games against Las Vegas and New York. While the Raiders are 3-0 and the Jets are feisty, the Patriots should not lose those games. If they lose those, you might as well start preparing for 2027.

If they can claw their way to 3-3 heading into week six, maybe A.J. Brown comes back, the offense opens up a little, Maye steadies himself, and the team can play the conservative style it needs to remain competitive for a playoff spot.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.

09/30/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Good start, Bruins.

When Austin Wells drove in George Lombard, I said to myself, ‘Self; the Red Sox aren’t going to lose this game 1-0.’ And I was right!

Drake Maye has the grip strength of Stephen Hawking.

All lists are inherently awful.

Here’s hoping the Patriots follow the Bruins lead and beat the team from New York Sunday.

Pedro doesn’t age. The new Bobby Orr.

‘Angry Bill’ died? Like, recently, not ten years ago? RIP.

Why didn’t the umpire tell Verlander’s daughter to get the hell off the field?

I miss AJ’s gravity. That shit was real, bro.

Cakes are cooking for Angie Dickinson, Johnny Mathis, Marilyn McCoo, Victoria Tennant, Catie Ball, John Lombardo, Barry Williams, Fran Drescher, Marty Stuart, Crystal Bernard, Eric Stoltz, Trey Anastasio, Kathleen Madigan, Tony Hale, Jenna Elfman, Carlos Guillén, Marion Cotillard, Candice Michelle, Martina Hingis, Dominique Moceanu, Kieran Culkin, Lacey Chabert, T-Pain, Mary Paoletti Brown, Max Verstappen, and Maddie Ziegler.

Pro tip: Don’t post an old picture of yourself posing with a ‘Saved By the Bell’ actor. It doesn’t end well.

Roman Anthony is made of precious antique Murano glass.

Crockpot bags are the greatest invention.

Peyton Tolle is on the right side of being a weirdo, Triston Casas is on the wrong side.

Like boxing, styles make WNBA playoff series.

Love how they air the Protect College Sports Act ads like we get a chance to vote on it.

The Good Kid will make a great captain.

Green Line: Due to signal modernization work there is no service between North Station & Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C+D), & Heath St (E) through October 4. Use buses for service to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay & North Station.

Bobby Manning always sounds like he just huffed a canister of computer duster.

That Madden trailer looks like a parody.

I’ve got Laura Rutledge bot looking accounts following me now on Instagram.

Fine, I’ll say it. The Brazilian national anthem stinks.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Sex is great, but have you ever worn a sweatshirt?”

News Item: Bruins concession souvenirs this year include ice cream in goalie masks and draft beer in a hockey glove mug.

Zolak should check his tone. The only QB with worse ball security than Maye is his kid.

John Schreiber being on the Yankees playoff roster against the Red Sox isn’t something you can ever truly prepare for.

Hasselbeck doesn’t look so good. Hope he’s well.

Watched FLEABAG on Prime. Six 1/2 hour eps. Funny, raunchy, something very different. I dug it.

How is there no video of the Section 10 block party after the grand slam?

Andy Reid shouldn’t be in a commercial where they say ‘We’re a family again.’

John Mulaney is just Bowen Yang for bros. One note.

The thing that drives me nuts with Drake Maye is all these cvnts second guessed every decision made by Belichick, they lost their mind over every bad play out of Brady, Gronk, Gilmore or any other star. But Maye can suck for weeks on end and we’re doing fucking Zapruder film shit to prove it definitely wasn’t Drake’s fault!!

And while we’re at it, yeah, I’m this miserable in real life, Dan. I work for a fucking living and spend my off day walking the dog in the downpour, cleaning my basement, watching an abortion of a football game, and cooking a delicious goddamn dinner. I don’t post 9 photo grids online for a couple cents from Elon while mooching off my wife’s salary and acting like I’m better than everyone else for it.

Well, you’re windy and wild
You got the blues in your shoes and your stockings

You’re windy and wild, oh, yeah
Well, you’re built like a car
You got a hub cap diamond star halo
You’re dirty, sweet, and you’re my girl

Get it on, bang a gong, get it on
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on (ooh, yeah)

Once worked with a person who withdrew from their 401k with penalty to buy gold to bury in their backyard.

I just hope the open of tonight’s Red Sox Yankees game focuses on the ‘Curse of the Bambino.’

Nicholas Batum just concluded an 18-year NBA career without ever attracting much attention. But 18 years means someone always wanted you around. Au revoir, Monseiur.

Drake made it sound like the football was disgorged from an elevator at The Overlook Hotel.

Northampton is just one of many cities/towns in Western MA. They don’t rep 413.

There are more people alive today that have seen first-run episodes of The Ernie Kovacs Show than have watched Fleabag.

Kristaps Porzingis is out indefinitely to open training camp with a health issue, per Warriors. Another immediate blow to GSW’s depth.

Get up, walk the dog, turn the computer on and all of a sudden it’s dinner time.

Is UMass a wagon??

The Sullivans want to know why a nor’easter couldn’t have necessitated the cancelation of The Jackson’s Victory Tour in its entirety.

Celtics haven’t had a captain since Rondo in 2014.

As God as my witness, when it was reported 946 could add a member, I was going to post it should be Jaida Parker. I never got around to it. Either way, she fits perfectly. Raw’s hitting its stride, focusing on younger/fresher talent!

Honk if you remember ‘Good Morning, Miss Bliss’.

I feel like Dak Prescott always looks awesome, until he doesn’t. A perfect Tony Romo replacement.

You don’t hit your macros by taking care of a screaming kid.

It takes me a good three games of playoff baseball to get a read on each network’s scorebug.

“Human services coordinator” sounds like what a hooker would put on a LinkedIn page.

Has Coach Vrabes considered renting out a movie theater and showing the team The Program?

It makes me smile that Lucky gets his own Media Day photos.

Best bet for the weekend: buses traveling to Buffalo.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Well it’s plain to see you were meant for me. And I’m your toy, your 20th century boy.

And Happy Birthday to sturdy Italian model & Actress Monica Bellucci.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 3)

Stay dry.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! But so far, the best anyone has done is eked out a tie! Insufficient!

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

You should try and win prizes.

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Chargers at Bills

Panthers at Browns

Texans at Colts

Jets at Lions

Patriots at Jaguars

Chiefs at Dolphins

Titans at Giants

Bengals at Steelers

Seahawks at Commanders

Cardinals at 49ers

Vikings at Buccaneers

Raiders at Saints

Ravens at Cowboys

Rams at Broncos

Eagles at Bears (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our autumnal group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

It’s like I’m in Blade Runner, or Wobey Mike’s idea of Seattle.

Football Cat’s Week 3 NFL Picks 2026

There’s a storm brewin’

🚨 A Storm Team 15 Weather Alert! 🚨

If that crazy, fat, bald, old man who lives alone in his creepy basement apartment has seemed extra irritable lately, it’s not only because he’s been getting his teeth kicked in on Twitter every day (although that’s 99% of the reason). It’s also because his rheumatism is probably acting up due to the impending Nor’easter (that and his eleven meniscus surgeries).

Nor’easter Preparedness Tips:

  • Stock Up on the 4 B’s: Beer, Bread, Batteries and Beer
  • Secure the Exterior: Bring patio furniture, garbage cans, and any small children indoors
  • Protect Windows: Baseball season isn’t over, but it might be time to install the storm windows
  • Clear Drainage: Send your wife up the ladder to clean out the gutters and downspouts
  • Vehicle Prep: Keep your gas tank full. Remember, much like your beer fridge: “half full is empty”
  • Check on Your Elderly Neighbors: They may have some extra beer
Hang in there

Stay safe, keep your paws dry, and remember: if the house blows away, you still have eight lives left.

Sunday Lunch Time
Chargers at Bills (-7)

Bills short circuit Bolts

Panthers (-2.5) at Browns
Black cats poop out Brown turds

A Cleveland Steamer

Texans (-2.5) at Colts
Someone has to win, and Indy lost the coin flip

“What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”

Jets at Lions (-6.5)
Kings of Beasts feast fancy on Gino’s Jets

Patriots at Jaguars (-2.5)
Spotted cats pounce on Maye’s many mistakes

Picks + Fumbles = Pickles

Chiefs (-11.5) at Dolphins
Miami is definitely “Planning for Manning”©

Titans at Giants (-6)
Tits bounce G-Men

Titans

Bengals (-3.5) at Steelers
Stripey cats won’t be caged

He’ll rip your lungs out

Seahawks (-6.5) at Commanders
Fake Seabirds soar in the Swamp

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at 49ers (-8.5)

Purdy’s cats swallow pretty red birds

Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you

Vikings at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Bucs shake and bake the Norsemen

Raiders at Saints (-3)
Saints stay above the Mendoza line

Ravens (-3) at Cowboys (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
Pássaros pretos assustadores venceram os gauchos

Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?

Sunday Prowl Time
Rams (-2.5) at Broncos

Horny sheep thrive at elevation

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Bears (-3.5)

American Birds leave Bears bawling

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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