10/27/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Less than ideal.

Has the national mourning period over Joe Buck’s busy season started before this week or is it just during the World Series?

Thanks for having the troll on your podcast, Mister Wall Defender. For the watch…

Bob Neumeier is gone. And there’s a lot wrong with that.

Is it possible this Celtics roster is better built to play under Brad, and Brad’s roster last year was better built to play under Ime?

The Supporters Shield sounds like something you wear while recovering from a hernia operation. Congrats, Revs. I guess.

Sox ousted from the ALCS, and then comes a frost warning followed a bomb cyclone nor’easter. Nature knows that the summer game is done in New England.

Cakes are cooking for Manu Katché, Rick Carlisle, Mary T. Meagher, Mike Ricci, and Sergei Samsonov.

Headlights? You intend to operate my Dymaxion Vehicularaxeron after sunclipse?

A minimum of two World Series games is probably more lucrative for Atlanta than an All-Star Game. Suck it, Manfred.

The Over the Air Antenna decides Mr. Scartelli
I just follow the signal

Pasta is still a goal-scoring Good Kid.

Best player in the Ocean State. Benny Hurd. Remember the name.

Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin swiftly rejects any speculation he’d be a candidate for the USC job. “Never say next, but never.”

News Item: Eversource is prepared for the storm.

The Tom Brady 600th touchdown football guy should have held out for all the other stuff plus a white pool cover.

Cuck Modi. That’s it; that’s the post.

Betting on sports and refrigerator runs can be risky!

MBTA Commuter Rail Update: While conditions are easing across the system, significant impacts continue as a result of damaging winds, rain, & flooding. Our crews are working to resolve issues across the network but ongoing delays are occurring due to severe equipment damage, signal issues, & down trees.

Black Twitter has a problem with John Stockton? Weird!

Timothée Chalamet needs a sandwich. A panini. Or a paninée, maybe.

Big bang baby, it’s a crash, crash, crash
I wanna cry, but I gotta laugh
Orange crush mama is a laugh, laugh, laugh
Nothing’s for free, nothing’s for free.

Not big on continental breakfast items in general but a properly done salt bagel with the accoutrements and a flat white is a good change of pace.

The Joe Kelly Fuck Club has a posse.

I’ve never been a fan of wearing a snap back hat backwards. Fitted hats only.


The wins are the best because then I can listen to the Talking Radio Men dismissively denigrate them!

Charlie Morton is no Gregory Campbell.

Energy is never lost. Only transferred from one form to another. See you back on March 31. – Red Sox

Honk if you remember Rusty Jones.

No, Neumie didn’t die from complications from laminitis, why would you even think that?

I thought ‘Flat’ White was a dead ball era hurler.

Word on the street is money can be exchanged for goods or services.

“Try hard, hanger-on” > “recruited walk-on”

Best bet for the weekend: people still calling the team the San Diego Chargers.

Prove you aren’t a robot.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, @basementscout and #the15 were used in this column.

Cindy Fitzgibbon says, what are you gonna do? Stay dry, stay safe.
Bonus Seattle Weather snapshot!

10/20/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

The man you came to see.

Commissioner Goodell isn’t as unaccountable as an ordinary MLB umpire is.

A tie is as good as a draw, Revs.

Did the NHL schedule makers think the Ringling Brothers Circus was in town?

Thankfully it’s still baseball season, so these football losses doesn’t count yet. Whew!

For all you fans of the orange leather, as we embark on another NBA season, be sure to throw “Cattles On Causeway” a twitter follow. @CausewayPodcast

You can’t complain about about the refs when Mac Jones only goes two-point-two innings!

The on the PUP thus ineliglble to play malingering malcontent cornerback would have saved the game, caller.

Can they finally arrest Pete Rose now for killing Ray Fosse?

We’re hearing a certain pizza heir is single!

Cakes are cooking for Dave Krieg, Razor Ramon, Billy Zabka, Chantel Tremitiere, John Krasinski, and Candice Swanepoel.

A Touch & Rich syndication deal? Zoinks!

I for one can’t believe Hank Steinbrenner is just sitting there and letting this happen to his team!

Here for the trade convention?

Essentially: Baker Mayfield still has a chance to play the following week. But Sunday to Thursday was just too fast. Now he’ll focus on rehab and tightening up the shoulder.

Jerry Thornton still cares more than YOU.

Hey NBC Sports Boston, as the great Bob Ryan once said, what’s the fascination with Chris Forsberg?

Green Line Reminder: Shuttle buses replace B Branch service between Kenmore and Babcock St, Mon – Thurs, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service. Also: Shuttle buses replace D Branch service between Brookline Village and Riverside, Mon – Thurs, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service. More: http://MBTA.com/alerts/subway

No. Just no.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Sure it was a bad call BUT…”

UConn football with the dub!

Well, you can make a big impression or go through life unseen
You might wind up restricted and over seventeen
It’s so hard to be careful, so easy to be led
Somewhere beyond the pavement, you’ll find the living dead

We’re all behind you, Anita. So to speak.

Media superstardom still somehow eludes Owen Pence.

Puppet Show
Chicago Sky Victory Parade

Tampa Lightning placed Nikita Kucherov on Long Term Injured Reserve today. The move gives Tampa Bay an additional $9,500,000 in their LTI Salary Relief pool.

What are the Boston Mayoral candidates stances on dog racing?

Do you think imposter syndrome (fake dynasty variant) contributed to Lane Johnson’s depression?

No one chuckles like Gene Hackman.

Please do not explain a baseball game to me that I literally just watched live at Fenway!

Ben Volin’s ‘Lets go Barves’ has the cadence of an inside joke. Sorrey!

Honk if you remember when Dan Shaughnessy was still selling ‘The Curse of Babe Ruth’ books.

This upcoming week, I’ll be investing in @iluvtacos0822‘s OnlyFans.

I may have my facts wrong, but I don’t think the Red Sox have lost an ALCS since the time the ‘chicken & waffles’ scandal led to John Farrell resigning back in 2015.

Frank Caliendo? He’s no Rich Little.

All pretend business owners should rent office space for a month. Think of the selfie opportunities!

Nothing says “sports gambling” like Patton Oswalt.

Maybe don’t be a junkie?

See, it’s funny because he’s not from Waltham but Carrabis is pretending he is. Buy a $35 T-shirt.

Cam is now vaccinated. Good job. Good effort.

Can you believe how out of touch college football twitter is? Going crazy about some no-defense game between two random teams, Texas and Oklahoma, while ignoring the tense Harvard-Cornell game, where Harvard’s undefeated season is on the line.

This postseason really has been an Earl Weaver wet dream.

Best Bet for the weekend: bringing two sweaters to The Head of the Charles Regatta; one to wear, and another to tie loosely around your neck.

“Podokesaurus to become Official State Dinosaur of Massachusetts? Roar! Ryanasaurus Bob should be official dinosaur! Outrage! Podunkasaurus not see Bill Russell play! ROAR!!”

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill Kristol, BSMW poster Irregular Brian and #the15 were used in this column. Better not forget it on your shopping list –
You can stop and buy one, it’s The Wilbury Twist.

Actress Autumn Reeser. Happy Autumn, everybody!

Fall Event Avoidance Generator

Uh uh. Nah. Nope.

Here’s a helpful stupid bullshit generator. If you hear a phrase that could be generated by this, you want nothing to do with it:

Generic sentence structure:
“You know what would be fun? A B !”
“We never go to A B anymore”
“You never want to see the A  B anymore”
“Everyone is saying (the) A  B is fun”

The boy gets it. No fun.

Column A:

Column B:
community event

This will decidedly NOT be fun. At all.

“Everyone is saying the Foliage Trail is fun!”
“You know what would be fun? Farm night!”
“We never go to the Cider Stroll anymore.”

Still no.

Yes “harvest” is in both columns; you especially want to avoid anything with “Harvest”.

This generator can be a force for good if you change the generic sentences:

“Isn’t this when you and your {relation} go(es) to the A B ?”


“Isn’t this when you and your mom go to the Harvest Festival?”

Mother and daughter together in park on a bright fall day, having fun and hugging, autumn leaves in the background

Submitted as a public service by The15. Originally published on the BSMW Message Board September 29, 2014, by ‘Marty Nopointe’.

Foliage Train! Weeeeee!

Pokes v. Pats Prev, bro.

12/15/1996 Cowboys last beat New England

 Note:  It’s been a head in my hands type of week.  Not feeling well physically or mentally.  Had to take off work and I feel so bad about it.  I’ll be with you guys 100% moving forward tho.  It sucks having to take a mental health breather but I need it.

Every high school had at leat one a front-running asshole who wore one of these.

              Well folks, the Patriots did the impossible last Sunday at Houston.  They came out victorious.  With major gaps on the offensive line due to injury and irresponsibility, New England was able to improve to 2-3.  Unfortunately, they are in a dogfight currently for the last Wild Card space with a mere twelve games left on the schedule. 

Fat. Fast.

            America’s team comes to town on Sunday with weapons that most Patriots fans would covet.  There will certainly be a challenge in that Dallas comes to the ‘boro with a two headed attack with explosive players in each facet of the game. (Editor’s Note: there are, of course, three facets to the game) Ezekiel Elliot comes in boasting a massive stature, as if he has been training in a Woburn office park.  CeeDee Lamb is a dynamic receiver, begging the question again if the Patriots will ever be able to draft a quality downfield player. 

              Knowing Mike McCarthy, the Cowboys will do the opposite of what they should do in a game plan in Foxboro.  Instead of running the ball consistently, they’ll likely look to pass.  Matthew Judon, who has been a force on the DL, will be called upon to have another great game if the Patriots look to have a chance against America’s Team. 


              Much like a GRAFF on cake, look for New England to play a 3-4 hybrid base on Sunday in an effort to confuse Dak Prescott.  Prescott’s struggles have been against teams like the Patriots, and New England’s disciplined front will surely pose a threat to him, even given his weaponz. 

URI is lucky Tyga didn’t need this needy schmuck’s plane this weekend.

              The Patriots owner, who ran away like a Braintree lawyer from an underling during deflategate, let the uRI Typical football team use the team’s plane to their game this weekend against Towson.  This leaves many questioning where the ownership is during the team’s toughest time.  Their former HOF QB has left, because the team gave up on him.  No free agents want to play in the area, mainly due to race related incidents on local radio outlets.  Yet, the owner seems to think it’s a good idea to just wax poetic with state schools.  Playing grabass with people who will be living on Aquidneck island in 3 years, and pulling over at the 7-11 on 138 in an effort to not poop in the car. 


              In spite of what local podcasts may spew, the Texans were not a good team.  That said, there is some value in winning on the road.  At the post game press conference, Matt Judon mentioned how it was good to get a win like that, as the team felt that they were playing good ball.  In spite of what the pundits say, this has been the case.  Ultimately, the team is a fumble and 3’ on a FG attempt away from being 4-1, but close only counts in horseshoes and hydrogen bombs. 

Close enough.

              All the world will be watching on Sunday.  It should be a good matchup.  Give me the home team and the points.  Patriots 21-14.

              A special shout out to friend of the column SteveR.  Made good on his wager in regard to the TB Bucs winning by more than 21 points a few weeks back.  Please consider a donation to your local animal rescue shelter.

A short home dog?

S. Tzu-Pei is an Intern and Lead NFL Writer for The15.

10/13/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Look who’s out in public again after 20 months!

(Publishing note: there was a Monday holiday, but the woke counter-holiday cancels that out. Usual schedule prevails. )

The NE Revolution is clearly quitely inspiring the other local squadrons. And maybe some Marathon participants, too.

It’s like his father who is the district attorney said: You can’t script October.

New England Patriots with the same record as the sure-to-go-undefeated Kansas City Chiefs. Season back on.

Kevin Kiermaier only likes white rappers.

And that, is why you always DESTROY your cellphone rather than turn it over to the League.

Good job, UMass. Good effort, UConn.

Baseball writers: enforce the unwritten rules, but don’t follow the written rules.

Kyrie. MAGA folk hero. And still not our problem anymore.

Cakes are cooking for Jerry Trupiano, Kate Walsh, Summer Sanders, Ed Ellis, Paul Pierce, and Jimin.

I bet Dean Wormer knows how many people cared that Dan Shaughnessy’s streak of covering Red Sox playoff games in person ended last week.

I guess Coach Flores didn’t have institutional knowledge about Tom Brady. Sad.

Hazel Mae? Yes, yes she may. She may indeed.

If the SF Giants didn’t want insensitive jokes about their GM’s name then they shouldn’t have hired a terrorist. What?

Smoltz is no Glavine.

Hey there Gang participating in a coordinated effort to pump the tires of a rookie QB who has been good in five games and start fitting him for a red jacket or is it a gold one? This week’s Phrase that Pays is “an incurable case of bobo-ism.”

Frank Caliendo; meet Vaughn Meader.

Courtney Vandersloot. What are you gonna do? Tough series loss, Connecticut Sun.

Saddest Marathon Day ever.

I wish I could bet on the Glazers never having had a black friend. Thanks a lot, Senate President Karen E. Spilka!

Chaim. Owning. Or perhaps leasing at a very favorable rate.

Orange Line Update: Trains are returning to regularly scheduled service.

John Cusack! A different Barstool Dave!! Craig Calaterra!!!

Mina Kimes cares more than you do.

“Intellectually, we baseball media types are a breed apart.” “What the fuck is a ground rule double?” Same people.

Congrats on the Training Camp sex, Stihdsy.

Well, we were just another band out of Boston
On the road and tryin’ to make ends meet
Playin’ all the bars, sleepin’ in our cars
And we practiced right on out in the street
No, we didn’t have much money
We barely made enough to survive
But when we got up on stage and got ready to play, people came alive

Rock and roll band, everybody’s waitin’
Gettin’ crazy, anticipatin’
Love, and music, play, play, play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Dancin’ in the streets of Hyannis
We were getting pretty good at the game
People stood in line and didn’t seem to mind
You know everybody knew our name
Livin’ on rock and roll music
Never worried ’bout the things we were missin’
When we got up on stage and got ready to play, everybody’d listen

Rock and roll band, everybody’s waitin’
Gettin’ crazy, anticipatin’
Love, and music, play, play, play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Playin’ for week in Rhode Island
A man came to the stage one night
He smoked a big cigar
Drove a Cadillac car and said
“Boys, I think this band’s outtasight
Sign a record company contract!
You know I’ve got great expectations!
When I hear you on the car radio
You’re gonna be a sensation!”

Rock and roll band, everybody’s waitin’
Gettin’ crazy, anticipatin’
Love, and music, play, play, play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

It was recently pointed out that we lost both Fred Travalena and Danny Gans in the same year, 2009.

Maybe the four backup O linemen should be the starters?

Fun Fact: Incredibly, Back to the Future 2 correctly predicted the Vegas Golden Knights would defeat the Seattle Kraken 4-3!

Ain’t no beaches in Brockton.

Shawn Crable’s Dream Journal > Mac Jones’s Improvement Journal.

The Rays champagne order can join the 1969 Lakers balloons now, I guess.

Glad that Lori Loughlin is returing to TV as Abigail Stanton.

Veteran CB Corn Elder was signed to Washington Football team active roster off the #Panthers practice squad, per agent @agentbutler1 of @agency1amg.

Honk if you remember Walt Hriniak.

Gruden wasn’t and isn’t wrong about Goodell.

News Item: Springfield Thunderbirds return to the ice at the MassMutual Center Saturday.

So it’s Houston as the ALCS opponent then? Lousy cheaters.

Scott Zolak is demonstrably terrible at his job as a color commentator.

Jim Kaat. 40 acres and a jadrool.

Mention TurtleCunt, Kirkie you coward!

This Mac Jones credit cake tastes terrible. And such small portions!

That YouTube home run ball poacher weirdo is going to beaten up real bad someday.

The only Ray I ever found likeable was Ray Goulding.

Did YOU Respect the Art today?

Best bet for the weekend: It’s called Bruins.

Wait, what?

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Those who wish to remain anonymous and #the15 were used in this column. Cool the Engines. Cool the Engines Down.


10/06/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

All this will be lost. Like tears in rain.

Can one claim a moral victory from a loss that meant Coach Bill can’t call himself the Owl any longer?

But, but the evening lottery number was 1-9-7-8! Poor, irrelevant Dan.

Go look up Floyd Giebel and get back to me.

Dondero, who nobody normally reacts to, opining about the art of entertaining, is fucking entertaining. A paradox.

It’s almost like Gilmore was malingering. Aloha, Stephon.

It’s also preseason for those crying about preseason NHL officials.

Get (h)er, Urb!

Cakes are cooking for Elisabeth Shue, J.J. Stokes, Rebecca Lobo, Richard Seymour, Daniel Brière, and Addison Rae.

Johnny Lawrence is going to be good once he gets rid of the hardo High School head coach.

JD Martinez sprained his ankle tripping over a base? Only in baseball.

Bubba Wallace winning at Talladega was even more impressive considering he was pulled over three times by the police during the race.

Please bring Bucky Dent to every game against the Red Sox, NYY.

Produce jockeys are now trying to denigrate Super Bowl rings and Hall of Fame gameplans. Technology was a mistake. All of it.

Is there minor league professional lacrosse?

Hitting range balls before a charity scramble is a clown move.

It’s always funny to me when the pregame show has to hype up NFL games for two hours and then has to be throw in the “stay tuned to ESPN for some great WNBA action!”

Schefty breaking out the MAN WALKS ON MOON headline font for the SHOCKING release of Gilmore. FFS.

Ha! You call that a turnip?

Good luck to the talented and delightful Katie Nolan on her next project which I will never watch or listen to.

Imagine paying for a $28 shirt in 4 monthly payments.

The 15: sex positive.

Hey gang of enjourtainerulists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Respect the art.”

Who knew paying Steve Buckley to watch Leo Durocher on The Munsters wasn’t a viable business model?

I drink a lot
I get naked a lot
I like man coverage for my Defense
I keep it simple and I let the Players Play

That halftime show is going to cure racism. You watch.

Blue Line Update: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to an earlier signal problem at Orient Heights.

Rehab worked fine for me, but I didn’t spend the whole time arguing with everyone there about the illuminati.

Kyrie. Not our problem.

Marisa Ingemi only got another beat writing job because the league expanded, caller.

Arcand looks like the 3rd runner up in a Jason Segel lookalike contest.

Oh remember my darling
When spring is in the air.
And the bald headed birds
Are whisp’ring ev’rywhere.
You can see them walking
Southward in their dirty underwear.
That’s Tennessee Bird walk.

Gotta win this one, Connecticut Sun.

What’s this about Pandora Peaks being back in the news?

Panthers GM Scott Fitterer has already made 8 trades in his first year on the job: Traded away: QB Teddy Bridgewater, OT Greg Little, LB Denzel Perryman, Traded for: QB Sam Darnold, CB Stephon Gilmore, CB CJ Henderson, DE Darryl Green, K Ryan Santoso. Wheeling and dealing.

Somebody primary challenge Spilka. Please. I wanna bet on sports in the Commonwealth!

Fandom = delusion. That’s why I don’t consider myself a fan. I’m simply an educated observer who prefers one particular outcome over the other. If you’re not hating the teams you root for 90% of the time, you’re doing it wrong.

Honk if you remember Garber’s Gorillas.

Really though; doinking the upright should be worth 4 points.

Now which one is Vanessa Carlton and which one is Michelle Branch?

I don’t think that crowd was chanting ‘Let’s go, Brandon!”

The Ringer has recorded TWO separate podcasts in which some white dudes gather to rewatch The Depahded, yet not a single iota of WNBA content in sight … at least be original in your brazen disrespect!

This has to be one of the greatest Red Sox teams of the Covid Era.

The joke’s on the Athletic; Buckley purchased an entire bolt of vintage uniform flannel at the linen auction!

Where was the Fake Spike King with the Gilmore scoop?

Best bet for the weekend: Sale. Owning.

Revs rout Montreal Impact, 4-1.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Hacksaw and #the15 were used in this column

I love base ball.
Happy for Britney. The toplessness represents freedom!

Patriots versus Buccaneers Preview Part 3: The Game

Sunday Night Football this week brings a bittersweet feeling to the area.  Much like Robert Parish’s Chicago Bulls ring, many in the area wish that Tom Brady just called it quits and retired as a member of the New England Patriots.  Many will speculate as to why he left.  Disrespected, sick of the coach, wanted to keep playing, money, all of the above, none of the above.  Just like someone with an iPhone thinks that they are Ansel Adams, and someone selling GAP insurance on auto loans thinks that they are an epidemiologist, the local media failed its followers, yet again.  Stories blaming the coach, the owner, the player…they’ve all surfaced this week.  Much like declining a call from TEC, some conversations are better kept to themselves.


              Someday, Bill, or Tom, or maybe even both, will write the book.  Until then, all of the stories and speculation are simply heresay.  This is the last we will speak of this matter for a few paragraphs.

              This is a large game for the Patriots, and mainly because it can get them to 2-2 early in the season.  Unlike the Indianapolis Colts, the Patriots understand that there are no banners hung for regular season records, or anything that goes on in the regular season (except that blasphemous 16-0 banner that was hung after the 2007 season).  A large part of this game is going to hinge on the health of Trent Brown.  I firmly believe that he would have been out there last week, but they wanted to give him one more week to get healthy; as this is going to be more of a pass protect line this week. 

You got Stafforded!

Tampa Bay comes to Foxboro off a 10 point road loss in Los Angeles.  Matthew Stafford threw for 343 yards and 4 TDs in a game that wasn’t even as close as the final score indicated.  Look for New England to play fast on offense.  Losing an offensive weapon as versatile as James White is not going to be easy as well, but as the Patriots mantra has always been, next man (sic) up.

From a defensive standpoint, look for the Patriots front line to be a key factor in the game.  As reported by the fake/real/not sure Spike King, it appears that former Arizona Wildcat star TE Robert Gronkowski is going to be doubtful out for this game.  That said, the weapons that the Bucs bring in on offense are quite impressive.  Former domestic abuser and sexual harasser turned non-Patriot and now great guy Antonio Brown is likely to play this week, after missing last week due to COVID concerns.  I have a call in to my doctor friend, Jim in Peabody to see if he will be okay or if he will need to be masked during the game.  Mike Evans and Orenthal James Howard also bring spark to the Tampa Bay offense.  Can expect numerous defensive backs shuttling in and out for the Patriots, in an effort to stay fresh.

That’s gotta hurt.

Abbott and Costello.  Peanut Butter and Jelly.  Coffee and Cigarettes.  Benzos and MAGA talk.  None of these the same without the other.  The same has been said for Brady and Belichick.  Yet, the first chapter has already been written.  We’ll see what the next chapter has in store.

Baseball, Danny.

The Buccaneers come in as a 7 point road choice.  It’s all the same; only the names have changed.  Except for the man coaching the Patriots.  The Owl.  Since the year 2000, the Patriots are 9-2 ATS in games they are grabbing 7 or more.  I’ll take the points.  Think this ends up a FG game at the end.  Time will tell who comes out on top.   

The dependable Nicholas Alexander Folk.

Sunday brings us the showdown that we’ve all been waiting for.  So, friends, get your apple picking out of the way sooner than later.  Enjoy the Saco IV show.  Get all those pesky chores done a little early.  While we all know Saturdays are For the Boys, we might have to extend that into Sunday this week.

You can get with this, or you can get with that.

S. Tzu-Pei is an Intern and Lead NFL Writer for The15.

Who is Jake in Boston?

A few days ago, a billboard disparaging the wise owl (???) coach of the New England Patriots, Bill Belichick, appeared on RTE 1 to much promotion from 98.5 The Sports Hub.

If the moniker “Jake in Boston” wasn’t enough of a tell that this is a deranged sports radio fan who has had their thinking so twisted up that they’d spend thousands of dollars to shit on his alleged favorite team to get attention from his Hub heroes, then his updated version of the billboard sure made it clear. Citing coaching tree record, a trivial concept that Belichick has zero control over and doesn’t exist anywhere but in the world of call-in sports talks.

Seems like somebody wants attention. But he’s sending mixed messages. Having his face blurred out for a television interview, as if he thinks he delivered a literal killshot to the eight time Super Bowl winning coach and has entered witness protection.


Well, it doesn’t work like that, cupcake.


From an interview a while back:

Jake likes billboards, apparently.
Jake from State Hospital? IJATQC.

Who is Jake from Boston?

Exactly who you thought he was.

Pats vs Bucs Part 2: A Very Brady Retrospectacle

Tom Brady.  The greatest quarterback of all time.  As clutch as they come.  Ice water in his veins.  The baddesst MFer in the building.  GOAT. 

See what we did there?

              There is absolutely no denying the greatness of Tom Brady, or the joy he has brought to so many Patriots fans for the past two decades.  In a team sport where the Xs and Os can go toe to toe with the Jimmys and Joes, Brady excelled in both situations.  Brady’s 2001 campaign started earlier than expected, due to an incumbent quarterback meeting Mo Lewis early in the season. 

Not the same as Jimmys and Joes. At all.

              The ’01 season was something out of a Hollywood movie.  Although built mainly around its defense, there was something about young Tom.  He was cool under pressure, he had the “it” factor.  Weeks went by, and the team became an even more cohesive unit.  Former University of Kansas head coach Charlie Weis brought Brady up in a system developed by non member of the Patriots HOF, Duane Charles Parcells.  Dink and dunk was born.  Brady’s favorite receiver: the open one.  Although not filled with the heardahim weaponz on offense, the team was productive offensively, and more importantly, ended up on top when time was expired.  Former 98.5 fill in, and current WEEI morning show shock jock played TE.  Everyone rooted for the kid from Eastie.  Now, they want him off their radios.  A sad fall from grace.  Yet I digress.  After a brief scare, Walt Coleman grabbed victory from the jaws of defeat for the Patriots, and they were on to Pittsburgh.  I imagine Irons Mike is triggered already thinking about Drew Bledsoe having to complete the game which sent the Steelers home, and caused numerous hotel and flight cancellations that day.  Introduced as a team prior to the Super Bowl, I imagine Brady is still concussed after smashing his helmet against Drew Bledsoe in the tunnel for what seemed like 20 minutes.  Hopefully that water works out on past concussions, Tom.

Spoiler Alert: it does.

              2002 proved to be a let down.  CMGI Field came and went.  A banner year, but soon forgotten.  Much like a white trash employee working at Dunkin’ on #NationalCoffeeDay, the Patriots still made it through.  There was speculation that it was less a Super Bowl hangover year, and more of an adjustment as to going deep into the playoffs, leaving the team less prepared for off season business. 

              2003-2005:  Regular Season 28-4.  Absolute domination.  In the nostalgia bias vs. recency bias debate heard on a local podcast, many point to these teams as the gold standard.  The ’03 team was anchored at LB coach by Rob Ryan, a little known fun fact.  2 more rings, and we can still see Willie asking the national media if they thought it was a dynasty.  Like Q himself said, the best was yet to come.

              2006 was a throwaway year in most people’s eyes.  But if we look at what Coach Belichick said about 2020, we might see some comparisons here.  Reset so to speak in regard to the salary cap.  Reload the following year.  Enter 2007.  Huge offensive adds in Kelley Washington and Kyle Brady.  The Patriots steamrolled their way to a 19-0 season, and I have the tshirt to prove it.  Thank you, Salem Sportswear.

Patriots Legends

              Much like the Star Wars series, the middle part (the non Super Bowl years) brought some excitement, some disappointment, but will be judged unfavorably when the book is written.  Enter the 3rd installment of the Patriots dynasty.  3-1 in Super Bowls, including the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.  Brady simply elevated the majority of his offensive players to the next level.  The championship level. 

              With all the chips and trips to the yoffs, we are left here today.  Brady added a 7th Super Bowl last year.  Even the biggest fans were at a crossroads.  Some members of the 15 found themselves drowning in their own urine last year.  Just like McDaniel may deal with in the future, you never want to be the guy after the guy.  You want to be the guy after, after the guy. 

The guy, then the guy after the guy after the guy after the other guy.

              Brady the player, as it were, never disappointed.  Off the field, people had issues.  Some justified, some not.  Brady’s ties to almost-a-doctor Alex Guerrero bring up questions, but hard to put down the idea of pliability in regards to his aging.  Brady with the MAGA hat got some buzz, but as soon as it did, it seemed to go missing faster than a former Patriots Post Game caller from Route 1’s very same hat at a bachelor party.  Was he weepy in 2019?  Probably.  Human nature.  The relationship, like most, with his teacher ebbed and flowed. 

Much mopey. So sadness.

              But it brought a lot of great football.  Something we will never see again.

A Seals here and a Crofts here, and try to run this play in the alley.

S. Tzu-Pei is an Intern and Lead NFL Writer for The15.

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