Mediot Madness – The Sour Sixteen – Day Two

Small Graphic. Big stakes.

Now for the two remaining Regions, V and N to tussle and further reduce the mediot field of competitors. Polls will remain open for 24 hours, until 10:00 AM EDT Wednesday, March 29th.

(Note: # 1 Seed Volin has been given a 2-vote lead.)

Sour Sixteen Scouting Synopsis!

(Again done by the redoubtable Patrick from Andover del Norte:)

Welcome to the Sour Sixteen preview! The two higher seeds in Region C should easily advance to the Hateful Eight(TM pending). After his suspension Mazz locked his twitter account, and then after Chris Curtis’s suspension Mazz deleted his twitter account! (Update: Tone’s account is back, but still locked. Like Felgie’s car should have been.) He’s obviously living in fear of winning this tournament. Things are so bad now that you have to buy a Cameo if you’d like to hear Tony’s “Amos ‘n’ Andy” impression. In other news, did you know that an autographed photo of Bert Breer is available for $25 on Ebay? Imagine how much that could be worth in a week! (Disclaimer: the capital value of Bertie’s autograph can fluctuate and the price can go down as well as up and is not guaranteed).

Kid Gas should trounce the Far Side Kid to open Region V action. Things get a little more interesting from there on out. You may think it’s odd that Boston’s paper of record employs a sports media ombudsman who lives outside the Boston DMA, but if the weather is perfectly clear, and the moon is full, Chad can more often than not pick up the Boston stations on his Nana’s Philco radio in Downeast Maine. You may have missed it on Friday when Chad postulated on Nip-gate: “I’m not calling for a firing here, but the apparent going rate at the station of a one-week hiatus for making a racist or sexist comment is rather low. It’s not like the show, which oscillates between a chore and a bore on most days, would suffer without his overbearing presence.” Chad had no such reservations, or comments, when his good friend Tomy Masserotti was suspended earlier this month for making racist comments. Obviously Mazz’s overbearing presence is key in the chore vs bore calculation, which is why his one-week suspension was deemed to be sufficient punishment. It’s also understandable for Chad to come down harder on a nobody like Curtis because, unlike those two random African-American gentlemen that Mazz slurred, Mina Kimes was nice enough to “like” one of Chad’s tweets. Finn sucks. However Large Gynamsium Murray is a bald-denying asshole, which makes this match-up too close to call.

Region N is “interesting!”, to quote its moronic #1 seed. Ben Volin may feel entitled to a 10-point advantage, or at least choice of uniforms, since he is the #1 seed in the region, but that won’t be necessary for him to easily dispatch Greg Bedard’s lapdog Nick Cattles. The other match-up is a battle of the ages. Dan Shaughnessy is far removed from relevancy, and from his 2011 Father of the Year award. Christian Arcand is desperately clinging to Adam Jones’ coattails, having been fired from 98.5 and soon to be fired from WEEI. More shockingly, Arcand is also apparently trying to appropriate Gabby Starr’s (#14 in Region T) culture – do a “Christian (from: @gfstarr1)” Twitter search for more enlightenment. Shank is a dinosaur, but Arcand is the voice of a new generation. YOUR generation. Vote accordingly.

Does anyone know what the hell is going on in Region T? The two plucky underdogs have been the story of this year’s tournament. Can Nick “Fitzy” Stevens continue drive the snakes out of the region and take down Michael Felger? Can Gabby Starr pass over Ted “the veg” Johnson? Do you believe in miracles of Old Testament proportions? Yes! No? You make the call. Remember, for a limited time, the the15netdotcomsportsbook is offering $200 in site credits for every $5 wagered on the March Sadness tournament! Time is running out, so Register Now!

(Problem gambling is an urge to gamble continuously despite negative consequences or a desire to stop. Problem gambling is often defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behaviour. Referring to your gambling unfailingly as ‘gaming’ may also be a sign. Severe problem gambling may be diagnosed as clinical pathological gambling if the gambler meets certain criteria. If you feel you or a loved one need help, of if you are considering a 4-leg parlay on how both of you need help, you can contact The Commonwealth’s Office of Problem Gambling Services Problem Gambling Helpline at (800) 327-5050 or go to

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

Tournament Sour Sixteen Set!

The Sour Sixteen are set. Favorites and plucky underdogs. All worthy competitors. Should be fun. Voting will resume Monday, March 27th.

And just a brief flashback as to who were the 16 mediots left at this point in the Tournament in 2022 and 2019:

A lot can happen over a year’s time.

If you have been enjoying this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the one previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating out local sports media, or finding out who Jake in Boston was, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you.


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03/22/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

MIAMI, FLORIDA – MARCH 21: Shohei Ohtani #16 of Team Japan reacts after the final out of the World Baseball Classic Championship defeating Team USA 3-2 at loanDepot Park.
(Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images)

Japan. Think they’re any good at World Baseball Classics?

Kim English? I guess. You know who was available to coach Providence? Patrick Ewing.

Jaylen, a bit of free advice? Keep your trap shut until after the parade.

Bruins. Owning. But due for a letdown versus Montreal?

Purdue Men’s Basketball should try and get some of those notoriously permissive Big Ten refs to work the Tournament one of these years.

Qualin. Dont’a. Hightower. Thanks for your service.

Is Curtis drinking again? It’s a fair question.

Cakes are cooking for William Shatner, Dick Pound, Don Chaney, Bob Costas, Matthew Modine, Elvis Stojko, Shawn Bradley, Marcus Camby, Reese Witherspoon, Joey Porter, and J.J. Watt.

Andy Kaufman revealing himself to be alive so he can accept the WWE Hall Of Fame induction would probably be the funniest thing ever.

If you have two Artie Demoulases, you have none.

Dear Merriam Webster’s – think I just invented another new word: agridustrial, for the agriculture industry, or the industry of agriculture – I know there’s already agroindustrial, but my word (agridustrial) is shorter, and cuter.

Cooley Family Disharmony?

It just dawned on me, but next month (April 15th) is the 10-year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Hey gang of Just So Storytellers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s Unfair to Track the Bear to His Lair!!”

You’re not a real sports fan unless you enjoy Division 3 women’s basketball.


There’s a Harvard Extension Medical School now, apparently?

Service Update: The full-line speed restriction on the Green Line has been lifted. Test trains confirmed that all speed signs are in place. Targeted block speed restrictions are now in effect on the Green, Red, Orange, Blue, and Mattapan Lines.

Please don’t follow. Go back to mary-mary land.

Shannon Sharpe is a 54-year-old LeBron James stan. Thats just sad, bruh.

I wasn’t at the concert; did E Street Ombudsman Garry Tallent have to correct Bruce mid-monologue?

Baseball and auto racing both require constant left turns. Is there any sport that requires right turns? Let us know in the comments.

I might enjoy one of those dinosaur balloons.

Reunion! Defensive back (or safety?) Jalen Mills and the Patriots have agreed to a one-year deal worth up to $6.1M, per source.

I’d give the moon if it were mine to give.
For your love.
I’d give the stars and the sun ‘fore I live.
For your love.

To thrill you with delight
I’ll give you diamonds bright
There’ll be things that will excite
To make you dream of me at night
For your love.

Gary Glitter’s youth addiction is more real than Kyle Draper’s retroactive alcoholism. (Unfortunately)

Honk if you remember Newport Jai Alai.

Why don’t I ever get flagged down while driving by a naked Amanda Bynes during a psychotic episode?

Definitely organic that every person who has ever commented on Kara Lawson uses the exact same superlative to describe her basketball mind.

The ‘who won’t wear the ribbon?’ guys from Seinfeld were not meant to be role models.

It’s rather strange there aren’t any video game-themed restaurants in the US, as far as I know. Are there any in Japan or Korea?

A: “Abe Saperstein”.

I cured my Long COVID by staring into a powerful UV light for an hour a day while my Mom paid my rent. True Story.

St. John’s, are they on probation yet?

I missed Wayne’s birthday! Hopefully his fatha didn’t.

Best bet for the weekend: a Bluejay defeating a Tiger? Preposterous.

BdlG in a bit of a strange outfit. But you weirdos won’t care.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesBill James, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. Sunday in the Park with George!

And Happy Birthday to actress Constance Wu.


Spend less time on a new graphic. I can’t!

And now, Region C and Region T get their time to shine. Polls will remain open until this time tomorrow, March 22nd.

UPDATE: New Tiebreaker Poll for voting! So vote! Until 2:30 PM EDT!

(Feel free to check out the matchup preview below if you’re unsure who to vote for!)

2023 Tournament Round of 32 – Day One

It’s time for the uninterestingly named Round of 32! We will keep all the matches in-region, rather than jump around as in the opening rounds. Two today, two tomorrow. Today concerns Regions N and V. Why? Because we are clearly ‘NVious’ of all these wonderful media personalities, right? Hahahahahahaha!! Polls will remain open until 10 AM EDT tomorrow, Tuesday March 21st. Choose carefully.

Mediot Madness Round of 32 Preview!

Sent to us unbidden from Patrick in Andover del Norte:

Unlike the frauds at the NCAA tournament, the Big Sads selection committee knows a #1 seed when they see/hear one. Massarotti, Gasper, Volin and Felger are expected to glide o’er all, and through all, and easily advance to the Sour Sixteen. The rest of the match-ups have varying levels of intrigue.

Region C.. Dan Lifshatz (4) vs Lou Merloni (9) – It will be interesting to see if Merloni pull another rabbit out of his hat. He might put up a struggle, but Dan Lifshatz should swallow him whole. No shaking, no tenderizing, down Lou goes. Albert Breer (3) vs Andy Hart (6) – Andy Hart will be punching up at Albert Breer, however Bertie will be up to his old tricks and will piss all over Andy’s parade. Tom E Curran (2) vs Jim E Stewart (7) – Hey, did you hear about the dead cat on Mars? Curiosity killed it! Meanwhile back here on Earth, Curran should do us all a favor and kill J-Stew. Maybe not literally, but maybe, possibly.

Region V… Marc Bertrand (4) vs Brian Barrett (12) – If a hot take falls in the forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound? Barrett has awful opinions but, thankfully nobody is listening. He doesn’t have enough gravitas to counter Bertrand’s gravitational pull. Chad Finn (3) vs Mike Giardi (6) – Chad Finn is the biggest enabler in New England, next to my wife. You see, I’m an alcoholic and she said that if I keep drinking, she’ll leave me. Jim Murray (2) vs Jerry Thornton (10) – The clocks strikes 12 for Cinderfella. All Jerry does is hope Bill Belichick still knows what he’s doing, while Big Jim hopes you outlive your children. Jerry may not break double digits.

Region N… Andrew Calahan (5) vs Nick Cattles (13)- If this match-up was happening during football season Callahan may win easily, but in the off-season he goes back to his job guarding bridges. Out of sight out of mind. A vote for Cattles is an in absentia vote for last year’s champion Greg Bedard. Alex Reimer (6) vs Christian Arcand (14) – Does Reimer get creepy “Single White Female” vibes whenever he bumps into DJ Bean? Dan Shaugnessy (2) vs Rich Keefe (7) – Shank is irrelevant. He doesn’t have a regular TV/radio outlet, and the Globe is nice enough to keep his writing locked behind a paywall. Keefe is battling Arcand to see which one of them can be the first person fired from both radio stations. Will they square off in the next round? That’s for YOU to decide.

Region T… Scott Zolak (5) vs Fitzy (13) – Zolak is going to give Fitzy a wet willy and then stuff him in a locker. Kevin F. Paul Dupont (6) vs Gabby Starr Reporter (14) – Gabby is our version of Princeton, which is ironic because Princeton is one of the few Ivy League universities that she doesn’t claim to have attended. Ted Johnson (2) vs Meg Ottolini (10) – Ted Johnson’s synaptic gaps have gotten so wide that Meg will slip right through them and into the Sour Sixteen.

(Round Two will start today at 10 AM EDT. Wicked soon!)

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

03/15/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

WAKE UP, Bill! People are panicking!

“Stay off the roads” they say as they’re driving around showing you how bad the roads are.

Jakobi lateraled away a few million from his bag.

KG wants to know if Marcus Smart’s cereal also tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.

It’s not MY dead money. Aloha, Jonnu.

Is UConn poised for a March Madness run?

So we give them a bunch of Oscars so they will stop sending us novel coronaviruses, is that it?

There is no such thing as a post June 1 trade.

Craig Teed was just scouting prospects.

Boeheim. And Ewing. Makes you think.

You haven’t heard much about the Ides of May, July, or October for the better part of the past 425 years.

Cakes are cooking for Mark McGrath, Sabrina Salerno, Louis Riddick, Mike Tomlin, Eva Longoria,, Kevin Youklis, Daryl Murphy, Tom Chilton, and Tatiana Shmailyuk.

Do YOU ever sit back and contemplate the life jackpot that Taylor Swift hit? Those looks AND that voice in one person. The odds of that genetic combination seem borderline impossible.

I like Marquette’s coach, he speaks well and I’d feel safe around him.

The 1950’s were the height of human athleticism.

That Steven Adams AT&T commercial has big ‘Brian Orakpo, All-Pro Linebacker’ energy.

Service Update: Riders should plan for additional travel time & longer headways on the Red, Orange, Blue, Green & Mattapan Lines this week as T engineers continue to perform repair validations & speed verifications following a DPU site visit last week.

There’s heart attack snow in the heart attack driveway.

Mindy Kaling, she’s from Boston. Home of Harvard University. I’m pretty sure Mindy knows what a trust fund kid is and I’m pretty sure she isn’t one herself.

DePaul and Xavier aren’t original Big East teams?

Short Round was also the kid in The Goonies? Did not know that.

Nicaragua is having a tough World Baseball Classic. Lordy!

Hey gang of disavowed Carmine Hose podcasters, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I could see you being like a sneaky 17.”

Has Josina Anderson ever talked to a honkie NFL player?

Taxing un-realized capital gains is the government’s version of claiming you slept with every woman who wouldn’t go have coffee with you.

Well my wave length gets a little longer,
Every time I wave goodbye,
Sentimental break down,
You know I break down and lie,
Where I’m not supposed to lie my head,
Always seems my softest pillow.

A: Merle Oberon.

Stop using Japanese release dates for video game consoles…

Bob Melvin Saturday Jay Groome–acquired by the Padres for Eric Hosmer last season–may open the season im the majors as a lomng reliever.

Salma Hayek has got to be the hottest 70-year old of all time.

Every time I see a clip for the Barstool Man Cave Gambling Cave thing, I get depressed.

Honk if you remember Pi being irrational.

News Item: Diamond Sports Group, which operates Bally Sports regional networks, has filed for bankruptcy.

YOU drove The Player to a tax haven. You did!

We finally got a History of the World Part 2, but not holding my breath for Rock & Roll Part 3.

Nothing like a tournament at New England Center in Marlborough to put a cap on the Hockey season.

Is every Boston-adjacent celebrity endorsing one of the sportsbooks or is it just my imagination?

Corpus Christi is not an island.

Get well soon, Mr. Springsteen. All the sportswriters, and I mean all of them, are hoping and/or praying for your speedy recovery.

Big battle brewing between Blackburn and Shukri to be Bean’s 6 AM Saturday Revs co-host.

Best bet for the weekend: Not Rutgers. Sorrey!

You were warned to stay off the roads.

Know this: Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, as well as Peter Gammons,  Bill James, BSMW posters Feejis, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column, All the things that I used to say, All the words that got in the way, All the things that I used to know have gone out the window. 

And Happy Birthday to actress Eva Amurri, whom I think somewhat resembles her mother, Susan Sarandon.
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