Here’s a helpful stupid bullshit generator. If you hear a phrase that could be generated by this, you want nothing to do with it:
Generic sentence structure: “You know what would be fun? A B !” “We never go to A B anymore” “You never want to see the A B anymore” “Everyone is saying (the) A B is fun”
The boy gets it. No fun.
Column A: pumpkin apple foliage farm corn paint country cider leaf Salem ghost lantern hay craft harvest waterfront linen art(s)
Column B: picking watch night brunch harvest fair decorating fest(ival) party trail tour picnic community event ride celebration exhibition stroll maze train auction 5K
This will decidedly NOT be fun. At all.
“Everyone is saying the Foliage Trail is fun!” “You know what would be fun? Farm Night!” “We never go to the Cider Stroll anymore.”
Still no.
Yes “harvest” is in both columns; you especially want to avoid anything with “Harvest”.
This generator can be a force for good if you change the generic sentences:
“Isn’t this when you and your {relation} go(es) to the A B ?”
Relation: Mother Aunt Friends
“Isn’t this when you and your mom go to the Harvest Festival?”
Mother and daughter together in park on a bright fall day, having fun and hugging, autumn leaves in the background
Submitted as a public service by The15. Originally published on the BSMW Message Board September 29, 2014, by ‘Marty Nopointe’.
An elegant ballpark feature from a more civilized age.
Congratulations to the Brewers! Well done. I do feel bad for Dick Vitale and the Rays’ other fan.
Jaylen Brown is like a pick-me girl if the targeted audience was black dudes with Asian cartoons as their profile pics.
How poor and strung out do you have to be to have mismatching plasticware?
Sounds like Henderson might have had the “Foxboro Flu” last weekend.
Hey honey, for Halloween I think I’ll go as that famously flamboyantly gay guy who’s known for exercising, you know as a joke.
Thank you, Veronica Burton, for doing your part in preventing Owen Pence from crowing about Angel Reese.
You never see a white guy named Malik.
You just know Andy Reid and Brett Veach have Henry Ruggs III’s mandatory parole date circled on their calendars.
I’ve never seen Ernest Scared Stupid. I’m fixing that right now.
Finding out for the first time in 2026 that Bruce Springsteen is a liberal has shocked me to my core.
Cakes are coking for Delbert McClinton, Marlene Jobert, Jacques Villeneuve the Elder, Chris Difford, Peter Boynton, Jeff Probst, Ralph Macchio, Michel Therrien, Kool Rock-ski, Petra Verkaik, Eric Karros, Carlos Baerga, Matthew McConaughey, Puff Daddy, Russell Copeland, Orlando Pace, Larry Bigbie, Vince Wilfork, Devin Hester, and Dez Bryant.
Miami needs to be ranked #1 so if Notre Dame beats them ESPN can make the argument that they beat one good team.
I thought Achilles was the face of Achilles injuries.
Joe Mazzulla has never understood the phrase “double-edged sword.” “Aren’t all swords double-edged?” he said.
Zolak made an analogy to that Maye sack to “back when on the Mass Poke they had ticket turnstiles, now you just use the Sun Pass”. What?
I don’t think mastering one thing and then moving on to the next thing is a hallmark of ADHD.
Red Sox just traded the owner of the first cycle in WooSox history.
Can the Pope dunk?
Football is just a very retarded sport to try to capture statistically in so many ways. “Nice 1 yard TD run, loser. Your YPC just took a hit.”
The thing I’ll always remember from Patrick Stewart is him saying that, coming from a Shakespearean background, he was the only one on the set of TNG who knew what to with your hands when you have no pockets: Nothing. Genuinely helpful as an autistic and a trans woman both.
Mayfield had a higher rating than Penix? How is 0-3 for 0 not a 0?
A computer took your job Daddy.
Charlie McAvoy got two separate penalties eight seconds apart. That’s hard to do.
Kaylee Hartung; was her dad a G.I.?
I really enjoy Andrew Catalon. That thing on top of his head, less so.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She looks bendy, and willing to try stuff.”
NBA Cup Tonight!!! Said no one ever Bob Hearts Abishola Energy.
Felger smelling his own jizz seems on pointe.
A Pete Blackburn mention means more to me than it should and yes I am embarrassed writing that.
Imagine double-teaming the DUNE: PART 3 popcorn bucket with your best friend and then never speaking about it again.
I don’t know if modern day Celtics fans can appreciate how important Delonte was to the mid 2000s teams and putting the team into position to get KG and Ray. His “wiyahh hangaahhh” ad for Fox Sports New England is legendary.
Logan Ryan has a sneaky good white guy sounding voice.
Green Line: Due to signal upgrades, there will be no service between North Station & Babcock St (B), Cleveland Circle (C), Kenmore (D), & Heath St (E) Nov 7 – 15. Use buses to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay & North Station.
Fan Duel with The NFL Logo next to It is disgusting. Bert Bell is rolling in his grave. He went To his grave after he Dropped Dead.
Wow, Mut really pussies out talking about Mike Adams.
I feel like it’s been all downhill for Vivek ever since he got Josh’s endorsement.
That AJ Brown trade is looking better and better each day.
The Mrs. is noticing the grocery bills have been increasing outside of inflation. She’s yet to discover the correlation between the money spent and the convoluted recipes she sends me to make on TikTok. Stay tuned.
News Item: Lights is in a poly relationship with Anthony from Smosh.
Feels like the Patriots could have gotten Jared Wilson a helmet cover that is the same color as the regular helmets.
I don’t recall asking for a Temu Tim Burton Ebeneezer Scrooge movie.
Imagine that annoying sports TV guy if he had the mentions of that annoying sports TV girl. Crazy stuff!
He fell down.
The Gilded Age is peak TV and I’m glad it’s back. One of the only shows I will make time to watch as close to “live” as possible.
At my bedside empty pocket, A foot without a sock. Your body gets much closer, I fumble for the clock Alarmed, by the seduction I wish that it would stop.
Tempted by the fruit of another. Tempted, but the truth is discovered. What’s been going on, Now that you have gone. There’s no other, Tempted by the fruit of another, Tempted, but the truth is discovered.
Coach Vrabes looks like crap. The mini bye week with his wife must have been fun.
Flo stays in his bag.
Lexington High’s Sal Frelick: World Series champion. Newton South High’s Veronica Burton: WNBA champion. Two kids from Massachusetts who defied the odds. You can do it, too. Believe in yourself.
Honk if you remember Left Shark.
Missing my ex-boyfriend from two boyfriends ago who thought a force to be reckoned with was “a force to be wrecking with” and said it constantly.
Joe Fagnano pronounces his name, “Fan-Yano”?
I would like to see the language in Jaylen’s contract that allows him to go skydiving. I will wait.
Sources: The Patriots will not be in for real on Jonathan Taylor, but if a team that recently lost their MVP caliber QB makes their RB who used to play for Vrabel available, which is possible, keep your eyes peeled.
I would be more interested in Platinum Glove Awards if the winners had to dye their hair platinum.
Had to open the emergency backup ‘Dots, Tootsie Pops & Tootsie Rolls’ bag for the last bunch of trick or treaters.
I got got. Bam did not dress up as A’ja for Halloween. Damn AI.
L.L. Bean boots are dogshit in snow and ice, but people have been psyoped into thinking they need them.
When does analytics revert to the mean?
For three weeks I thought I had anhedonia. Turns out I was just really bored.
Best bet for the weekend: Coors Light and shitty chili.
A Bruin is a bear. Some bears are brown. Voila!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.How long has this been going on?
And happy birthday to (checks notes) reality TV personality and poker player Trishelle Cannatella.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! Football Cat went 7-6, which is more winners than losers, which would be fine except for Warren Dull’s Aunt going 8-5. She might be part cat!
Mrowr.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, a $25 Amazon Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Prizes! Wheeeee!!
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Ravens at Bills
Titans at Bengals
Cardinals at Cowboys
Vikings at Lions
Colts at Jaguars
Raiders at Jets
Browns at Steelers
Falcons at Buccaneers
Chargers at Rams
Chiefs at Broncos
Patriots at Dolphins
Eagles at Commanders
Bears at Seahawks (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our spoopy group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Our Intern Street Team was out and about asking the locals, “What are you going as for Halloween?” And lucky us, some of the kids wore their costumes to a trunk-or-treat event!
Benjamin F. – “63 hard boiled eggs.”
Jimmy Biscotti, Uber Driver – “Dunning Kreuger.”
Mo Sylvan, Musician – “Steve Buckley carrying an urn containing Donnie Beardsley’s ashes.”
Vance Fox, Student – “$5,000 of special milk.”
Gretl Hauptmann, Dental Assistant- “The New York Times 4th Down Bot.”
Samuel E. – “A failed comedian with multiple dead brothers.”
D’Arnauld J. – “Darren Rovell’s civil rights leader murderabilia collection.”
Liam C. – “Sweet Onion Sauce.”
Brock Caminero, Student – “A French protester with a cowboy hat.”
Natalia Snoek, Medical Device Sales – “A Sexy Spotted Lanternfly.”
Zack B. –“A mental health counselor with Alzheimer’s.”
Jenni Nowak, Waitress/Bartender – “That dancing hot dog.”
Richard Kelly, Personal Trainer – “152 Drew Bledsoe football cards”
Jackson Phillips, Pharmaceutical Rep – “Podcast guest who passes out on the livestream.”
William T. – “A missing cat poster.”
Kelli Daniels, homemaker – “A 3×3 grid of my favorite past Halloween costumes.”
Gregory M. – “A ghost. I was planning on going as Tom E. Curran’s family but have you seen the tariff rates on imported Canadain potato sacks? Thanks, Biden.”
Did Tatum’s PR team advise the Celtics to send the game to OT so he could stat pad?
Who told Jaylen to handle this situation using his left hand?
Tanner Jeannot is a monster.
Oh, so Michael Felger gets to enjoy watching his hometown team compete for a championship in peace, but that courtesy isn’t reciprocated?
The League ought to reel in all the extravagant Celebrations. It borders on the Ridiculous. Everything is a takeoff on Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
Theory: The darker the helmet color, the gayer the mushroom helmet looks.
Glad I’ve been right about Jaylen Brown for a decade. He did a whole semester at Berkley he’s so smart!!! Guy is a fucking moron. He’s probably dumber than the average NBA guy because at least the rest of ’em know they hit the genetic lottery and leave it at that. Kyrie YouTube University Extension School attendee.
There’s no Crying in Baseball or On Planes.
To my neighbors to the north, is the Calgary tower worth checking out, or just a tourist trap?
“Tatum needs to watch his tone to manage the other guy’s emotions better” makes a lot more sense when you think about Karalis’s personal life.
Al Michaels can barely conceal his disdain for Amazon Prime shows.
If the Colts are having a fire sale, Grover Stewart is the player I’m most interested in.
Dan Orlovsky may be a bit of a dullard.
Cakes are cooking for Jane Alexander, Dennis Franz, Annie Potts, Bill Gates, Stephen Morris, Daphne Zuniga, Kevin Dineen, Lauren Holly, Jamie Gertz, Steve Atwater, Julia Roberts, Ben Harper, Brad Paisley, Terrell Davis, Joaquin Phoenix, Gwendoline Christie, Matt Smith, Finn Wittrock, Frank Ocean, Nolan Gould, and Stephen Nedoroscik.
I don’t think the extra loud cheering when Robinson makes a FT is helpful to him. Stop giving him the retard treatment.
Of course Lucy Burdge thinks Jaylen is handling this just fine, he’s acting like a woman.
Does anybody know if Anthony Edwards got hurt?
Howie Carr looked disgusting–nipples protruding–in his blue shirt before the “Thank You For Voting” sign. Very very disrespectful.
Notre Dame. What a life. Play nobody, lose any time you actually play someone good, stay ranked in the top 5.
Go catch your own cod dummy.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that pays is, “I don’t want to be the face of tearing your fuckin Achilles.”
You know in science fiction movies when they put space explorers in suspended animation so they can survive wicked long travel? I needed that trying to go west on the Mass Pike last night.
‘Lamb chops and gravy’ has some real, ‘the owl has lost his goat!’ energy.
Yo Pacers, let’s not play Kesha’s “Die Young” during the Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital Teddy Bear Toss please and thanks.
Green Line: Due to signal modernization work there will be no service between North Station & Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C+D), & Heath St (E) Oct 31 – Nov 1. Use buses for service to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay & North Station.
Dustin May looks like someone fucked around with the create a player feature.
Yucky bad man Karalis once accused the Celtics of shitting on Heinsohn’s legacy because they got their asses kicked right after he passed away.
Jaylen vs Jayson reminds me of The Office. You just can’t make edgy comedies like that anymore.
I had a busy day once I eventually woke up Laura.
Was there ever a better opening to a Top 40 song than Martha and the Vandellas’ “Heat Wave?”
THEY get to gloat when a Boston team loses an early season game. YOU are overreacting to a tiny sample size when you enjoy an early season win.
Cam Skattebo is an 80s movie character.
The Celtics Post Game Show is longer than Rocky 1,2,3,4,5,6
News Item: Chrishell Stause announces split from G Flip after 4 years.
Cabbage is such an underappreciated vegetable.
I believe Scal. Also #FireScal.
When I look over my shoulder What do you think I see? Some other cat lookin’ over His shoulder at me And he’s strange Sure is strange
You got to pick up every stitch You got to pick up every stitch, yeah Beatniks are out to make it rich Oh no, must be the season of the witch Must be the season of the witch, yeah Must be the season of the witch.
I was driving a little too fast down Washington Street in Canton, Massachusetts this morning when a police cruiser pulled out of the cemetery being me… I thought I was cooked.
Like we don’t remember all the Chiefs fans divided into two camps; whether Mahomes would beat Brady’s Super Bowl records in eight seasons, or the conservative faction that thought it might take nine.
Treveyon Henderson couldn’t find a hole if he was having sex with Bonnie Blue.
Lucy pulling the I know more because I’m in sports with this topic is right up there with Brie Pirre telling Asante Samuel she gets paid to talk football, therefore she’s right.
Can’t believe there’s an all new Cupertino this Thursday on CBS and Paramount Plus.
Honk if you remember Bobby Orr scoring the final goal of his career on this day in 1978.
I’m baffled by people who retire and keep shitposting on LinkedIn. Like being a soulless corporate husk wasn’t just an act?
Underrated moment is DanO asking McAfee if he knows what it means and he goes “yeah percentile. It’s Greek.”
Jaylen Brown fans talk about him like he’s Dr. Sebi.
I don’t trust a man who says “we’ll circle back” without looking like he’s ever completed a circle.
They should make more Nick Saban commercials.
Best bet for the weekend: three more games to act as a referendum of the Jaylen/Jayson question.
‘SORRY JT, YOU’LL HAVE TO APOLOGIZE LOUDER, I’M PLAYING MY GIANT GOLD CONCERT HARP.’
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you. Spooky.
And happy birthday to American actress/singer/model Lola Tung.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! Football Cat stumbled a bit picking the 1:00 games, but recovered & finished the week going 8-5. No human contestant did as well.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, a $25 Amazon Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Fluff, CITCO shirt, & your choice of KENO hat!
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Steelers at Saints
49ers at Falcons
Buccaneers at Panthers
Giants at Texans
Colts at Vikings
Dolphins at Jets
Browns at Titans
Bengals at Ravens
Broncos at Cardinals
Packers at Lions
Rams at Raiders
Chiefs at Seahawks
Cowboysat Eagles (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our crisp group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
And good luck to all our contestants!
Maybe you can visit the pumpkin patch Sunday with NE already having played?
Tar Heel fans might need to self-medicate after these last two games. Sure, they’re huge wins that invoke dreams of making it to a bowl game, but these contests are not for the faint of heart. Football is a game of inches, its margin of error nearly invisible. One or two plays can wildly alter the perception of figures whom you’d initially think should be above being slaves to the variance that is collegiate football.
If a hard-fought loss would have been enough cause to demand heads—or a head, to be precise—to roll at UNC, I won’t return fire and say Duke should fire Manny Diaz. They shot themselves in the foot, dug themselves out of a hole, and nearly kept the Victory Bell in their possession. It just didn’t happen this time. A late-game drive by UNC powered them over their in-state rival for a 24-20 win that doubles as a modest upset.
Instead, I want to highlight the execution of the Tar Heels and celebrate their accomplishments thus far, six games into the season. Entering the 2026 campaign, the mood was dour. Traditional media outlets saw the gauntlet of a schedule the Tar Heels were saddled with and thought it charitable to throw them four wins. Fans of the university became enamored with apathy, wishing for UNC to foreclose on its football program and focus on basketball.
Watching Tar Heel fans succumb to defeatism eerily reminded me of Patriots fans who’d watch their team go 12-4 every year but seemed to look for permission from the outside world to enjoy what they were seeing.
To rectify what went wrong in 2025, Belichick reshuffled the deck on the coaching staff. Hiring Bobby Petrino caught many people off guard, including me. But in hindsight, it was a sign Belichick was still able to get a big fish into his pond and adapt his professional background to fit the college style.
Previous offensive coordinator Freddie Kitchens wished to run a rigid, pro-style offense. Being a pro coach, Belichick was probably open to keeping someone who spoke his language as he embarked on this new, unfamiliar terrain.
The 2025 Tar Heels offense was slow and predictable, finding itself often behind the chains. If your first-down play results in a loss of 5 yards, leaving you staring at a 2nd and 15, you can essentially get the punt team ready. Opposing defenses knew UNC could only excel in short-yardage situations, so they’d stack the box, force Gio Lopez to throw, and defang the one thing UNC could do well with ease.
In my view, we don’t appreciate the fact that while college is a step below the professional ranks, it does pose a unique series of challenges for coaches. Coaches who are used to working with veterans nearing the age of thirty are suddenly working with raw talent just entering their twenties. Kitchens’ pro-style offense amounted to a mere 288 yards per game, ranking an abysmal 128th in the nation.
Belichick’s mistake was not being flexible. He did not allow Lopez to audible at the line, wishing to control the game entirely from the sidelines. Lopez is a raw, younger player who needed to learn a complex, NFL-style scheme that he likely was not ready for. In Belichick’s eyes, Lopez didn’t possess the ability or the experience needed to diagnose complex defensive disguises. Lopez, currently the starting quarterback for No. 21 Wake Forest, is having a breakout year, throwing 17 touchdowns to just one interception. That fact alone shows not even Belichick is above needing time to adapt. It stems from the faulty assumption that if professional athletes can handle a 500-play volume with micro-managed pre-snap restrictions, college kids should find it even easier because the talent is a step down. But the difference between NFL and college players is that the former are full-time employees. The NCAA restricts activity to 20 hours a week. As laughable as it seems, the rules still prioritize college athletes as “student-athletes” who need to get to class.
The Tar Heels needed more flexibility and imagination. Petrino came in and instituted a college-proven system that features elements of the “veer and shoot” alongside heavy personnel packages. He brought a massive infrastructure, utilizing pre-snap looks and creativity to manufacture plays that simply did not exist under Kitchens. Petrino found ways to utilize having two or even three tight ends on the field at once to create heavy blocking advantages, successfully unlocking the multi-back committee of Demon June, Benjamin Hall, and Jaylen McGill.
While Lopez was straightjacketed by Belichick & Kitchens, Petrino has trusted Billy Edwards Jr. with the structural freedom to make adjustments at the line based on defensive alignment. The raw per-game stats suggest a clear upward trend. The paltry 183 passing yards in 2025 is now a workable 218. The infinitesimal 6.2 yards per attempt last season rose to 7.9.
What we’re seeing is a merging of Erhardt-Perkins with college concepts. A non-negotiable rule for Petrino is putting pass protection above everything else. He is not afraid to slow down the tempo and streamline the pass protection terminology.
When we talk about Belichick adapting to the college game, Petrino having to change his language to better fit this hybrid-style offense also deserves attention. NFL playbooks use rigid, wordy play-calls where every single specific route, protection adjustment, and alignment is explicitly spelled out in a long string of text. Petrino finding a way to merge traditional elements of Erhardt-Perkins with modern college shorthand—using single-word concept tags like “snag”, “tosser”, or “mesh” and having everyone on the field know their individual responsibility by just those terms—is nothing short of miraculous.
Under Petrino and newly promoted running backs coach Natrone Means, the Tar Heels’ ground game developed into a three-pronged attack able to carry the burden. Hall is the early-down specialist; June is the physical, short-yardage and red-zone back; and McGill plays the hyper-efficient change-of-pace role (exemplified by his clutch 24-yard game-winning run against Duke).
There is still a lot of work to be done, as the flaws are noticeable. The offense can burn bright for one quarter, then go AWOL in the ensuing quarters. But what’s established is a know-how, a willingness to get down and dirty, and poise in the face of overwhelming adversity.
The recent contest against Duke exemplified the anomalous tendencies of the Tar Heels. They jumped out to a 17-0 lead, taking advantage of sloppy football from the opponent. Then, instead of shutting the door, they left it open for Duke to walk through. Jordan Shipp fumbled, which led to a Duke defensive score. McGill fumbled in their own end zone. And then a muffed punt gave Duke another short-yardage score.
Suddenly, they were facing a fourth-and-four at their own 28, down by three points. The game, and arguably the season’s momentum, was on Edwards’ shoulders. The offense had stagnated since leaping to that 17-0 lead. Edwards stood firm in the pocket and zipped a pass over the middle to tight end Jelani Thurman, who made a clutch 12-yard catch to move the chains and keep the game alive. A few plays later, UNC took the lead and, eventually, secured the win.
That’s confidence. That’s big-boy football. And that’s exactly what we hope to see from the Tar Heels in the second half of this season.
Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.
From The Collaborative that brought you the Immaculate Squid and your daily SteveRdle, comes a new brainteaser… Is It, 1789 or 2026?
Today’s clue: “Following recent events in the Bastille neighborhood, and after careful consideration, we felt it appropriate not to move forward with the planned event in Paris”
Is It, 1789 or 2026?
If you guessed 1789, well sorry 24601, you will not be taking home any fabulous prizes to little Cosette.
The correct answer is 2026!
Since no one won today’s game, all the prizes will auctioned off with the proceeds to be split amongst the interns.
Thank you for being with us today, and remember to please help control the dog population. Have your dogs spayed, neutered or donated to scientific research. Goodbye, everybody!
Just kidding dog people, it’s all love
L’heure du Petit-Déjeuner du dimanche Steelers (-3) at Saints Les Saints de La Nouvelle-Orléans triomphent et s’offrent un défilé de la victoire sur les Champs-Élysées
Très Bien
Sunday Lunch Time 49ers (-3.5) at Falcons Purrdies rub Penix the wrong way
We miss you Jojo
Buccaneers at Panthers (-3.5) Black cats cook the Baker boys
Not so fabulous
Giants at Texans (-10) Everything is bigger in Texas, even the Giants margin of defeat
Colts at Vikings (-6.5) Norsemen discover that Carlie Irsay-Gordon’s notebook is full of cookie recipes.
Dolphins at Jets (-4.5) Jets soar over tanking Phins
Browns (-1.5) at Titans Brownies bite Tits
Ouch
Bengals at Ravens (-3) Stripey cats pounce on Poes
I got your “Nevermore” right here
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos (-4.5) at Cardinals Mile Highers club Cards
Packers at Lions (-3) Jungle Kings devour Meatmen
Just in time for Halloween
Rams (-4.5) at Raiders Horny sheep leave Las Vegas with a win
Sunday Dinner Time Chiefs at Seahawks (-2.5) All three generations of Kenneth Walkers will be celebrating
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-4.5) at Eagles Dallas does Dom
Debbie… OOTG
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
I hope the Celtics understand by losing a road game they disappointed a fat human Coinstar.
Are we sure “Dr. Jesse Morse” isn’t just Markwayne Mullin in a lab coat?
Have the judges who picked the finalists been to Logan Airport? “Voice of” should clearly be an unintelligible Dominican accent.
Bob Uecker just cracked a Miller somewhere.
I’m definitely impressed by the guy with “MBA” in his zoom display name.
Great job with the fast healing, but the grace of God needs to bestow ball security upon TreVeyon next.
For the many who seem interested: Progresso, $4.49; Campbell’s, $4.29.
You can’t stop Mikko Rantanen, you can only hope he doesn’t score four goals against you.
You’d be missing throws too if your wife was hobnobbing with hairy Armenians.
Imagine being a Callahan Stan. He looks like Freddy Krueger and sounds like RFK Jr. with AIDS.
Cakes are cooking for Manfred Mann, Elvin Bishop, Judith Sheindlin, Everett McGill, Lee Loughnane, Patti Davis, Charlotte Caffey, Eric Faulkner, George Bell, Ken Watanabe, John Flaherty, Mo Lewis, Andrew Scott, Mélanie Turgeon, Will Estes, Kim Kardashian, Zack Greinke, Glen Powell, and Doja Cat.
I missed the NBA. I did not miss watching Joel Embiid play basketball.
They’re still drinking root beers out in Provo.
Never realized how many French Studies majors have been on Twitter and IG this whole time, kid.
We’re looking down our noses at Attleboro 7s now?
Sacramento Kings guard Ben Simmons is believed to have sustained a torn Achilles tendon at practice Sunday. He can now go back to doing what he loves most; not playing basketball.
I see you, Robert Spillane.
Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a signal problem near Davis. Trains may stand by at stations.
Every time I hear Garrett Wilson I think of Garrett Morris.
Can’t imagine holding any high-end Justin Herbert cards. The Chargers are the worst team in the NFL.
I don’t like my visa picture.
Bledsoe, Mahomes and Maye married somebody who loved them before they were famous. Shitheads like Brady marry the supermodel and weep about their divorce in their Instagram stories.
Little powdered donuts are still very elite.
Hey gang of Eurohoopers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I appreciate all the internet doctors trying to diagnose and help, but I’m in the best hands. So everyone can relax now. And I don’t have HIV or AIDS.”
Yaaaaaa Sully … Big Govahment is running the classic pump and dump gas scheme … yaaaaaaaa
Calling a Mexican person Taco on a social media app is definitely one way to convince people you’re not a racist.
I could see ESPN tossing the bag at Greg Olsen.
Jaylen Brown says he bought a gold harp, and now has someone come over twice a week to play it as the sun goes down while his chef cooks dinner.
Seriously, how the hell is there 450 different types of Drew Bledsoe football cards?
Kage Moush?
Zolak gets so bored when the game is decided. Squirrel brain.
Roger McQueen wearing No. 95 for Anaheim is terrific.
Mike Reiss has a snacking problem. There, I said it.
If we’re talking artists from the 2010’s I’m not sure why Flo Rida isn’t seen as above Bieber Rihanna etc.
Lift the weights Run the miles Boil the eggs
Obviously the Halloween theme from the original 1978 movie is ICONIC, but i think the synthesizer version from Halloween II (1981) is even spookier and creepier.
I must have been through ’bout a million girls I love ’em and I leave ’em alone I didn’t care how much they cried, no, sir Their tears left me cold as a stone
But then I fooled around and fell in love I fooled around and fell in love I fooled around and fell (pause) in love Fooled around and fell in love.
Bledsoe got more tail in the nineties than a bus station toilet seat.
I have no idea what L.L. stands for.
‘Karon Prunty’ sounds like a woman who would send back a steak at an Outback.
Jay-Z pulled a Dick Cheney?
The Knicks actually raised the mid-season tournament banner as well? Leave it to the Knicks to ruin everything.
Coach Drip will be failing upwards to Chargers head coach very soon.
I know he’s won a championship and is one of the best players in the world, but I think this 3pm game on a Tuesday in October is Tatum’s legacy.
Coach Bill Belichick. Owning.
I mean, having listeners is nice, but it’s not the same as winning a Marconi Award.
Doubs needed a guardian cap for his torso and legs.
Honk if you remember Rocky Point Park.
Can Archie Manning send some of his goon squad to clean out the Parisian rioters before the Steelers/Saints game dimanche?
I need somebody way smarter than me to explain why the “exposure” of Dave Portnoy calling UConn-UMass the “cum bowl” is worth it.
Poor Jeff Howe. The guy has Vague Symptoms Syndrome.
I shouldn’t have put off taking the drive to see the Mysterious Hanging Boulder to 2027.
The Philadelphia Eagles try to kill any more of their players?
Best bet for the weekend: An early must-win game for both the Celtics and Knicks at the TD Garden.
“Is that Mikey Adams or Artie Lange?” – “Jon Eater-parel.” – “Gerry looks like the world’s longest living progeria patient.” – “Dennis looks like different parts of ancient corpses sewn together with new clothes from his closet.”
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, Old BSMW Friend Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Relax.
The colors say Fall, but the open toes say Indian Summer.