TO’s & Threes – Celtics Column 07/09/26

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Saying goodbye to a franchise legend is never easy. No matter how many times it happens, watching someone who has been a fixture in your life for as many years as Jaylen Brown has feels like losing a limb. You live long enough and you start to associate them with moments in your own life: where you were when they were drafted, when they made their first All-Star Game, when they stood on top of the heap as world champions, and ultimately when they were traded.

Before the digital age, fans argued about their favorite players in bars and diners, face-to-face. It got heated depending on who you were talking to. With a good friend, you’d laugh, throw in an insult about their team or favorite player—or at them personally—once you felt you’d exhausted all your knowledge.

In an era where we’re all phone-addicted psychos logging every single thought into a public database, these arguments have become far more hostile. Anytime, anywhere, we’re willing to stop what we’re doing to respond to some smarmy Twitter account trotting out opinions and stats meant to convince us that a player we’ve watched since our teenage years is more a detriment to the team than an asset.

The two stats that best highlight this discrepancy are on-off rating and real-adjusted plus-minus (RAPM). The simplest way to explain RAPM is that it accounts for the quality of competition and tries to isolate a player’s impact separate from playing alongside a superstar who might be carrying the load.


—  0.0 RAPM indicates a perfectly average replacement-level NBA player.


—  +5.0 means your team scores five more points per 100 possessions than it would with an average player in that role.


— Conversely, a -3.0 means your team’s scoring margin drops by three points per 100 possessions when you’re on the floor.

Of course, no statistic is ironclad. But RAPM speaks loudest when explaining why Jaylen had surprisingly little trade value and why Brad Stevens chose to bite the bullet. Despite a career season in which he nearly made First Team All-NBA (damn you, Adam Silver and your arbitrary rules), finished sixth in MVP voting, and led a Jayson Tatum-less Celtics team to 56 wins, Brown graded poorly in both metrics. His -1.6 RAPM and staggering -8.7 net on-off rating raised plenty of eyebrows. Other players who have graded poorly in RAPM help illustrate the archetype the metric favors: DeMar DeRozan, Carmelo Anthony, Bradley Beal. Superb scorers and isolation kings, but ball-stoppers on offense and defensive sieves. To win in RAPM, players generally need to limit turnovers, lower their usage rate, and reduce the volume of their shot attempts—things Jaylen has never excelled at with enough consistency.

This isn’t the first time the idea has circulated that the Celtics are better without Jaylen. Since Stevens took control of the front office in the summer of 2021, he has shown a consistent ability to surround his star players with depth to cushion any individual setbacks. The system installed by coach Joe Mazzulla turned the Celtics into a regular-season wins machine. Brown’s negative impact rarely showed up until the playoffs, and by then the team was drowning in so many other questions that the argument faded into the background.
The recent playoff exit cannot be blamed solely on Jaylen, just as the 2023 loss to Miami couldn’t be laid entirely at Marcus Smart’s feet. In both cases, Stevens decided those players had to go.

Stevens’ new approach has been dubbed “spreadsheet maxing” by Celtics fans on Twitter—the next iteration of advanced metrics waging war on the eye test. The reason Jaylen was moved so swiftly, while Derrick White (who also carries a large salary and his own flaws) was kept, is that despite White’s poor shooting last season, he posted an elite +4.2 RAPM and a staggering +9.9 on-off net rating. While Jaylen’s defense is good, it isn’t as multi-faceted as White’s. White can protect the rim at an elite level for a guard (98 blocks last season) while also averaging 1.14 steals per game. In metrics like BBall Index’s LEBRON framework, he ranked as the third-best defensive guard in the NBA.

Remember Paul George? Playoff P. Pandemic P. Playoff Piss. The guy you spent the last decade mocking. Even he graded out better than Brown last season. George posted an elite +3.2 RAPM (42nd in the NBA) and a +4.9 on-off rating with the 76ers. RAPM punishes turnover-prone players who demand the ball and struggle as primary creators. George presents no such issues. He functioned as a secondary playmaker, averaging just 1.73 turnovers per game compared to Brown’s 3.65. Much of Jaylen’s elevated turnover total last season stemmed from Tatum missing all but 16 games, but even in years when the Jays played together, Brown’s playoff turnovers routinely sat slightly above three per game (2018, 2019, 2022, 2023, 2025, and 2026).

Stevens is betting heavily that George’s superior ball navigation, team communication, and screen navigation will translate better in Boston. I don’t believe Stevens secretly covets George long-term. He is often injured, well past his prime, and his contract has routinely ranked among the worst in the league the past couple of years. Instead, I think Stevens made the best of a dire situation that risked becoming deeply dysfunctional. Jaylen had three years left on his current contract and was eligible for a two-year extension worth up to $142 million in September.

Jaylen Brown’s remaining contract:

2026-27: $57,736,350

2027-28: $61,672,814

2028-29: $65,609,27

Paul George’s remaining contract:

2026-27: $54,126,380

2027-28 (player option I’d bet my life he picks up): $56,586,670

Notice there’s no pressure to extend George. He’s a mercenary entering a situation with relatively low fanfare and expectations. Stevens stressed the importance of George playing a complementary role in his press conference earlier this week.


In the context of last season in Philadelphia, George performed admirably. While Tyrese Maxey and VJ Edgecombe are excellent young guards the 76ers should build around, they were caught between eras because Embiid and George consumed such a large portion of the cap while missing significant time. When George did play, he navigated a clogged offense and volatile roster extremely well. Lacking five-out personnel and consistent double-team gravity from Embiid, George had to create many of his 39% threes on highly contested, difficult looks.

Once you dry your eyes and step back, you can see what Stevens is aiming for. He viewed Jaylen as a luxury product who looked spectacular because Boston’s offense ran flawlessly around him, masking high turnovers and modest playmaking. George, by contrast, was a structural load-bearer—he stepped into a messy, broken ecosystem in Philadelphia and still elevated the team’s floor through shooting gravity and defensive disruption.

The dice are in Stevens’ hands. To win, he needs a healthy George campaign in which the veteran doesn’t miss large chunks of time or disappear when needed most. They don’t need him to be the second- or even third-best player. If Payton Pritchard takes another leap and Derrick White continues his elite production while rediscovering his jump shot, the Celtics will still be very good.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. 

07/08/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Wheeeeee!!!

2-0, the most dangerous lead in sports.

A lotta Celtics fans getting the big sads now that they’ve learned Jayson and Jaylen aren’t best fwiends.

Ronaldo is the only Portuguese guy I’ve ever seen with two eyebrows.

Getting screamed at in Arabic has to be frightening.

Look, that was a disappointing game, but the memories of the USA Soccer snapback I bought will last three, maybe four more days.

Keith Smith is underappreciated until you trade for Paul George and need some explanations.

Belgium has more planet players.

Cakes are coking for Janice Pennington, Jeffrey Tambor, Kim Darby, Raffi Cavoukian, Wolfgang Puck, Anjelica Houston, Jack Lambert, Kevin Bacon, Joan Osborne, Bob Ctvrtlik, Billy Crudup, Michael Weatherly, Beck, Staci Wilson, Wang Zhizhi, Sophia Bush, Jamie Cook, David Corenswet, Jaden Smith, and Maya Hawke.

The fattest most pungent smelling people are always the most opinionated.

I just can’t get out of my head that if only MLS had promotion and relegation Freese wouldn’t have fucked up that third goal.

Why didn’t Brad navigate the Celtics out of the worst CBA in sports in one fell swoop? Felgy coulda done it.

Pochettino looks like he wants to show me how clogged my car’s cabin air filter is.

I don’t know why I think it’s funny that Vrabel took his wife to Taylor Swift’s wedding, but I do.

Airport meals are a killer.

Green Line D Branch: Delays of about 20 minutes due to a disabled train near Brookline Village. Trains may stand by at stations.

Ironhead has broken containment.

So California Bill has his endoscopy? Let me guess: no polyps, but lots of solipsism.

Hey gang of hyperboleists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “There was the Babe Ruth trade out of Boston and then this is probably next.”

Is Carli Lloyd pregnant or is this a Christina Erne situation?

Bring back the Shaw’s Pro Summer League.

A Roger Goodell flunkie is furiously taking notes on the FIFA appeals process.

As my grandpappy used to say, the poor always find time to fuck and paint mini furniture.

Wait, Jaylen Brown and A.J. Brown are cousins?

If I was playing against Messi I would make sure we talked about how someone should mark him.

Buying off deadbeats and grifters with a lifetime meet and greet fast pass is the easiest move Rubin ever made.

Who do you think you’re calling a ‘deranged little clique?’

I somehow don’t believe Thierry Henry actually cares about growing the game in the United States.

@fartpants86 I just reported you to twitter ..

What question did Dondero ask at the presser? Oh, right. Right right right.

Pick yourself up off the side of the road
With your elevator bones and your whip-flash tones
Members only hypnotizers
Move through the room like ambulance drivers

Shine your shoes with your microphone blues
Hirsutes with your parachute fruits
Passing the dutchie from coast to coast
Like my man Gary Wilson (I rock the most)

Where it’s at
I got two turntables and a microphone.
Where it’s at
I got two turntables and a microphone.

I guess we can talk about that paint on Jaylen’s head now.

If you’re going to invent your own hall of fame might as well make the path to induction arbitrary and capricious.

Brad twice basically saying “what the fuck are you talking about?” to Shaughnessy was pretty great.

Nothing good begins “divorce response”.

Imagine how good Pulisic will be in 2030 when he’s healthy!

Honk if you remember the MetLife blimp.

The Nantucket police got any, you know, promising, uh, leads on the missing Breer bikes?

Quite frankly, this whole FIFA ordeal reeks of private equity.

Oh, you’re looking to grow the game? Good luck. We’re putting the ugliest American we got on this story: Ben Volin.

Payton Tolle is the first Red Sox pitcher since Dennis Eckersley (1978) to make at least 4 starts of 6.0+ innings and 0 ER in a single season prior to turning 24.

What do people expect Brad to do, sit there and say “Yeah, we don’t think Jaylen is that good”? For years, we heard sports radio wetbrains saying that Brown and Tatum couldn’t play together. Now that Brad finally agrees, he’s the bad guy?

It’s amazing how Bill Simmons always has an object lesson from his own life to poorly analogize with a current sports situation.

Gonna have to bill my idiot New Hampshire relatives 35 cents for the returnable cans and bottles the threw into the regular trash on the 4th of July.

Best bet for the weekend: ships that are tall.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, PatriotsDaily, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.

Now you’re back to Now u’re back to Brown. Please continue speaking so I don’t have to remind everybody how dumb you are.Brown.N you’re back to Brown. Please continue speakin you’re back to Brown. Please continue speakNow you’re back to Brown. Please continue speaki

TO’s & Threes – Celtics Column 07/02/26 – Part Two

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Welp. This isn’t the first time I’ve eaten crow. Turns out Brad Stevens didn’t think as highly of Jaylen Brown as I do. Nor did Stevens seem to even want him on the team, regardless of the underwhelming potential returns.

I won’t turn on Jaylen now that he’s no longer on my team. I won’t suddenly become an on/off metrics guy when I rarely write about those numbers. It’s not that I don’t believe they’re valid—they are. But in Jaylen’s case, I spent years shrugging them off as they came back increasingly dire. The regular-season wins kept pouring in. They built a team with him as the second-best player that went to the Finals twice and won a title. Sure, JB put us in some bad situations in the past, but he also got us out of them.

The night he was drafted to a chorus of boos, Brown said in his first interview as a Celtic that he’d go to war for this city. He did. And he won that war.

In the end, Brown still wished to return to the Celtics and was traded anyway. I’m sure Stevens loves Jaylen on a personal level. But professionally? I bet he fucking hated him. The reasons were probably his late-game decision-making, dribbling when pressured, and of course the aforementioned on/off numbers that found him repulsive despite a career year.

Brown’s fate was sealed the moment he inked that $285 million contract in the summer of 2023, making him the richest player in NBA history at the time. From that point on, he became a negative asset. It didn’t matter what he did—and he did a lot in the ensuing three seasons—the money was simply too much. 

The Celtics saw no path to contention if their top two players were making over $50 million a year. There was even a chance to snag Giannis. If Brown had the value I’ve been saying he did, the Bucks wouldn’t have taken Tyler Herro over him. There are plenty of other reasons that trade didn’t happen, but this is where we are now. The 2024 Finals MVP was moved to Philadelphia for Paul George, two first-round picks, and two second-round picks.

Obviously, I don’t know what Stevens was actually thinking. But that doesn’t mean I can’t pretend to!

My gut reaction is that Stevens thought George > Jaylen. Even though Jaylen was the younger, healthier, and more proven player, that doesn’t change the fact that the 36-year-old George sent the MVP candidate home in this past playoff series.

Brown is the superior wing in basic counting stats. But George’s on/off numbers destroy Brown’s (negative 4.4 for Brown vs. George’s positive 4.9). Perhaps the idea of getting George into the same system that may have propped up Jaylen—combined with George being a better defender, a smoother offensive fit, and the added draft capital—really enticed Stevens.

I honestly thought that when this moment arrived, I’d be able to write more. But the anticipation proved more impactful than the conclusion. Boston is betting that their depth and star power can improve with George in uniform. They’re also betting on the Los Angeles Clippers being bad in 2028 and the 76ers in 2031—or that those picks become valuable assets they can flip for a star in the near future.

Ultimately, their cap situation remains largely unchanged. What Boston gains is flexibility: eight first-round picks and seven second-rounders. Is this the final roster? We’ll see.

The Jays era is over. What a glorious era it was. They brought Banner 18 home. Now it’s up to Stevens to equip the remaining Jay with the help needed to chase number 19.

There’s a lot of work to be done. I won’t get your hopes up. But I also won’t tell you to despair.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. He does not live in a baby New York.

TO’s & Threes – Celtics Column 07/02/26 – Part One

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Jaylen Brown was traded.

Oh, and Mitchell Robinson and Mike Conley are here too. Credit to the Celtics front office for not letting the internet distract them and for remembering there were legitimate holes on the roster that needed addressing. Let’s start with the less heralded signings. I prefer to get the least important information out of the way first.

Mike Conley, age 38 and entering his 20th season, recently signed a one-year veteran minimum deal worth $3.8 million. His career is basically Al Horford if he were a point guard: a player who has bounced around the league, appeared on a few deep playoff teams, and is largely respected as a veteran who can steady the ship on off nights. Of course, this is not the Mike Conley of the Grit and Grind Grizzlies. His minutes per game have dropped drastically due to age and injuries. His defense is not what it once was. One does worry that Conley, at this stage, could become a crutch for Joe Mazzulla to turn to when higher-upside, younger options are on the bench—namely Hugo Gonzalez and Baylor Scheierman. The rationale for why that might not happen is that those two are more shooting guards than true point guards. Beyond Derrick White and Payton Pritchard, there wasn’t a viable option to eat up minutes at the position.

The basic stats from his last season in Minnesota don’t look pretty. Playing 18 minutes a night, Conley averaged 4 points and 2 assists while shooting 33% from both the field and three-point line. His box-score plus-minus was -1.3. Conley is the type of player you sign when you need a veteran but can’t afford a superior option. My preferred role for him on this team is to eat up meaningful minutes so the stars don’t have to play as much and to serve as an on-court assistant coach. Now on to the free-agent big man the Celtics recently signed using the full mid-level exception.

Robinson, age 28 and fresh off a title with New York, is now a member of the Celtics on a three-year, $43.7 million deal. Prior to this signing, the Celtics’ big-man rotation was the team’s weakest position. Beyond Neemias Queta, they lacked rim protection and defense. Armed with the full MLE, Brad Stevens was able to sign Robinson away from the New York Knicks after owner James Dolan made it publicly known he did not want to enter the second apron to retain his backup center. Robinson was the lone homegrown success story for the Knicks this past season. Drafted in the second round in 2019, he battled injuries before emerging as a Sixth Man of the Year candidate and a key contributor who helped New York to their most successful run in a quarter-century.

Robinson ranks in the 99th percentile as a roll man in pick-and-roll actions, averaging 1.70 points per possession with an 86% scoring frequency. That’s very good. Queta is a fantastic roll man in his own right, and now Boston has another big who can do the same thing. The main concern with Robinson is his health—he has missed 138 games over the past three years. The Knicks took excellent care of him and got lucky to have him fully healthy and available for the playoffs the last two years, where he protected the rim at an elite level. He gave the Celtics fits in 2025 and guarded Victor Wembanyama better than most. Potentially, he is the ace the Celtics needed. He was the ace for the Knicks. It’s all about how his body holds up. There was bigger news today… we’ll talk about that later.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. 

07/01/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Take it easy. No need for fisticuffs.

Is anyone in here actually turning off their radios??

Contreras is a compelling character – fiery hotheaded Latin with a grudge against shifting tectonic plates. His partner is his polar opposite – Yoshida is icy cool and inscrutable. The tsunamis and violent earth movements are but a falling cherry blossom in the stream of this life.

Fun fact: The attempts in a World Cup shootout are not “penalty kicks” because they don’t penalize anything — they just use that procedure. They’re “kicks from the penalty mark.” (See law 10.3.)

Jaylen Brown is clearly not the 7th best player on his team by any reasonable metric, but using analytics to troll him into a meltdown? Very funny.

Weathermen saying it’s going to be hot this week but I’m staying woke.

They should play “Sweet Caroline” at the second half hydration break to make sportswriters around the world get unnecessarily angry.

I love how in 2026 there are people who still look to Ordway for info on how the NBA works.

Is “brash” a synonym for “brainless moron”? #lol

There’s no truth to the rumor that Early strained his elbow trying to pick up Roman Anthony’s bar tab.

However this LeBron James situation plays out, it’s going to be fascinating. Could be a lot of CBA/trade/cap stuff at play here. Should be fun to put together!

Cakes are coking for Sam Rutigliano, Jamie Farr, Twyla Tharpe, Doug Carpenter, Geneviève Bujold, Debbie Harry, Mama Scartelli, Fred Schneider, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Shutt, Mike Haynes, Alan Ruck, Brian Sabean, Lorna Patterson, Grant Daulton, Hannu Kamppuri, Nancy Lieberman, Evelyn “Champagne” King, Carl Lewis, Roddy Bottum, Carl Fogarty, Patrick McEnroe, Pamela Anderson, Julianne Nicholson, Missy Elliott, Jarome Iginla, Liv Tyler, Nelson Cruz, Charlie Blackmon, Michael Wacha, and Tate McRae.

Do we like the J.J. Peterka deal? Let us know in the comments.

Hey gang of snack food addicts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Hey fat Grimace, get your dick out of the zebra cakes.”

Dianna Russini was making 800K a year? She brought home the bacon and the hog.

Sucks when you’re already uncomfortable on camera as it is and someone makes a dick comment on your appearance. And I’ve even been working on it lately because I don’t want to die of liver failure at 42. But hey internet a-holes don’t care. Oh well.

Carrabis spends more time driving by Cora’s house than working on his legs.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

You can never have toumani camaras.

How are the midgets in Nova Scotia? I feel they’re probably more midgety with the exchange rate.

Head Dummy gonna Head Dummy.

Can’t tap your helmet? Can’t throw your helmet at people? This sport has gotten soft!

Has anybody thought how much this elevates Trick’s wins over Sami? You can slide him into the main event anytime now with clear logic. Give a guy his flowers and help establish another talent. Good business.

Jaylen will go full Kyrie if someone says he’s the seventh smartest player on the team.

In honor of Italian-American Night, all the women will be absolutely smoking hot for the first five innings, and then they’ll turn into their fat mothers for the last four.

It’s so nice not to be followed around by cops anymore.

Nick Cattles doing a million trade proposals after being aggregated once is a tremendous look into his vapid empty head.

Maybe don’t open mouth kiss all the other gym dudes?

I don’t like certain elements of Socialism but I do know that Mayor Zoran Mandani Is already a national figure .

The rivalry lasts 9 innings. Being decent people lasts a lot longer.

Mbappe is probably going to with that SuperToe Award.

Massachusetts hasn’t had this bad a week for Hooters since back when Linda H. had her implants removed.

John Zannis is unequivocally the biggest retard in Celtics media and that says so much because he’s talking next to Bobby Manning.

Side loading is how Asians get pregnant.

People used to call sports radio wanting to make Clemens and Pedro closers. Let’s just take Cy Young winners pitching 200 plus innings a season and have them throw 60 innings instead. Dear departed EGA was a big proponent of converting Clemens to a closer. It all goes back to Dave Righetti. Anyone who throws a lot of strike outs should automatically become the closer, kid!

My favorite part of free agency so far was windy dropping “What if Jaylen Brown goes to the Cavs and LeBron James joins him there?” as the ESPN show went to commercial. The way he dropped that and strutted back to the desk like a boss was amazing.

I love seeing fat guys respect each other.

An MLB work stoppage might give Roman Anthony enough time to get healthy.

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone
Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone

It’s good to hear your voice, you know it’s been so long
If I don’t get your calls then everything goes wrong
I want to tell you something you’ve known all along

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone.

Freddy was the spiritual grandson of Max von Sydow’s ‘Good Nazi’ character in Victory. I hope you nabobs of negativity are proud of yourselves.

Why do you need to understand a community to make a Red Sox hat?

Don’t invite Jaylen to a conciliatory dinner at Toscano’s, send him to Table by himself and tell him to fuck off.

Honk if you remember Milly Alcock..

Can’t wait to see if Willson Contreras gets ejected for the 3rd straight game today.

New music on the radio is in desperate need of more saxophone.

Ivan Ivan? Really?

I guess ‘Annoying Pizza-Loving Midget Jew’ was deemed too clunky a title for Portnoy’s book.

Don’t forget to thank an armed service member this weekend.

Red Sox are in last place at the end of June with the worst record they’ve had in decades, and it’s still a Baseball Town.

Germany lost to a line on the map?

Best bet for the weekend: everyone comes back from the 4th with the same number of fingers they started with. Happy 250th, United States of America.

Bianca is ready for summer. Are you?

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Matt Vautour, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The tide is high but I’m holding on.

And happy Birthday to French actress Léa Seydoux.

TO’s & Threes – Celtics Column 06/26/26

Is the Celtics glass half-empty, or half-full?

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

It’s been a rough few months for the Celtics, to say the least. It’s not often that people look at a roster featuring a four-time All-NBA First Team superstar, a Finals MVP, a reigning Coach of the Year, and a two-time Executive of the Year — and still feel the team has hit a wall. In some ways, the Celtics have. If there is a fault in Joe Mazzulla’s philosophy, it isn’t shooting too many threes. It’s the lack of an off-switch from their frantic style in the playoffs, when defenses can game-plan around Boston’s desire to win the numbers battle. It’s hard to make your threes when you can’t attack the basket against drop coverage. The Celtics have failed to generate good looks in the clutch during the playoffs in two straight years, and it has resulted in early exits that have dramatically shaken the confidence this group built from their title run.

Getting Giannis was supposed to fix that. But for whatever reason, the pursuit fell through. We can blame Brad Stevens for not going all-in, refusing to include Hugo Gonzalez, Baylor Scheierman, and more picks on top of the two first-rounders the Celtics are confirmed to have offered. Or we can believe the rumor that Bucks owner Jimmy Haslam nudged GM Jon Horst toward accepting Miami’s offer out of fear that Jaylen Brown would demand a trade. (Author’s Note: My source is Kevin O’Connor’s tweet: Kevin OConnor (@KevinOConnor) on X)


No matter who we blame, the Miami Heat now have Giannis Antetokounmpo, and the Celtics do not. Their problems remain the same as before, and the clearest avenue to address them is closed. It’s easy to fall into despair and remember the later days of the Big Three era, when it felt like Danny Ainge couldn’t make the necessary moves to prop up an aging core while rivals got younger, faster, and better.

The silver lining is that Stevens isn’t wrong, in a vacuum, to walk away if he believed the price was too high. We’ll see how Miami builds around Bam Adebayo and Giannis. They are undeniably thin in an era where the last three NBA champions have been incredibly deep. They do still hold their 2028 and 2029 first-round picks, and we’re about to find out how valuable those picks are now that Miami won’t be lingering in the play-in. If the Heat can navigate these limitations and win a title or two, Stevens getting cold feet will look worse. If they fail, the bill will come due, the Heat will be in hell, and the Celtics will still have options.

The three most gnawing words fans hate to hear: wait and see.

The advice I’ll give Celtics fans is this: stay off Twitter. Stay off Reddit. If news breaks, you’ll find out the way your fathers and grandfathers did — a friend will tell you. If it’s any consolation, Jaylen appears ready to let bygones be bygones. Unless Stevens pokes the bear and tries to trade the two-time All-NBAer a second time in one summer and that deal also falls through, it’s safe to assume Brown will remain a Celtic for the foreseeable future. The front office will pivot to addressing their pitiful situation at center and may look into trading Derrick White.

For all the faults I’ve previously laid out about “Mazzulla-Ball,” it is uniquely suited to churning out 50-win seasons and making us forget the various weaknesses this team possesses. After all, we entered the past playoffs thinking we were a Finals team with Neemias Queta, Luka Garza, and Nikola Vučević as our centers. We’ll see if White can rediscover his jump shot. If a fully healthy Jayson Tatum will fix Boston’s problem of going 3-11 against the NBA’s best teams last season. If another year of Jordan Walsh as a lockdown bench defender — along with Hugo and Baylor as reserve spark plugs — can move the needle.

Can they beat New York, Miami, Detroit, or Philadelphia as currently constructed? Probably not. And that feeling truly sucks. But there’s no use dwelling on it now. Situations change. Things can shift in a month or two. Even if everything remains the same and the Celtics fail at every plan to improve this offseason, they’ll have plenty of flexibility next summer — perhaps making it easier to trade Brown and/or White under new circumstances.

We. Will. See.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. He does not live at Boston Stadium.

06/24/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

(Involuntary shudder)

Is Thanasis still available?

For an alleged good athlete Jarren Duran’s the worst outfielder I’ve ever seen.

Was Superfoot at the Eddie Andelman memorial service?

Fox can’t handle a rain delay, meanwhile my good friends at Telemundo have the hot studio señorita chatting it up. Bueno.

Jaylen, Hugo, Scheierman and 3 1sts? What else did they want? The Jordan Marsh blueberry muffin recipe? Reggie Lewis’ headstone?

That US goal-scorer, Alex Freeman, is the son of former Packers WR Antonio Freeman.

I’m not sure why everyone is looking over the option that maybe Milwaukee just doesn’t think Brown is that good and not worth how fucking annoying he’d be after a trade like that.

Maybe I’m in the minority, but I think the Red Sox should have tried a bit harder to keep Kyle Schwarber.

If the Scots can get Massachusetts to re-legalize happy hour I’m buying a kilt.

Fun Fact: the 2026 NBA #1 Draft Pick AJ Dybantsa is from Brockton.

Cakes are cooking for Lowell Cross, Vittorio Storaro, Arthur Brown, Michele Lee, Colin Blunstone, Mick Fleetwood, Peter Weller, Patrick Moraz, Nancy Allen, Joe Penny, Juli Inkster, Bernie Nicholls, Curt Smith, Gary Suter, Uwe Krupp, Jeff Cease, Sherry Stringfield, Richard Kruspe, Karen Stupples, Mindy Kaling, Minka Kelly, Laura Donnelly, JJ Redick, Candice Patton, Phil Hughes, Solange Knowles, Lionel Messi, Erin Moriarty, 

Tyler Herro was the epitome of Heat Culture. Played hard, showed nothing but loyalty to the team. Very sad to see Miami do him dirty like this.

Are we sure that Haaland isn’t the descendant of a Targaryen?

Hey gang of obsessive ‘scapers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Green leaves always burn the best.”

Cameron has a chance to be the best Boozer in the NBA since Vin Baker.

I know nobody cares, but there has to be another piece in that Sabres-Blackhawks deal. Someone in Chicago should be fired.

Buying Springsteen on vinyl unlocks a secret old white dude handshake I think.

Red Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at JFK/UMass. Trains may stand by at stations.

I’m still annoyed about Brendan Fraser’s performance in Pressure.

If you’re eating Spaghetti-O’s in your car, your life may not be going that well to begin with.

Does Brad have to trash a hotel room now?

I don’t get the Czechia thing. We don’t call Japan Nippon.

Could you imagine if Woj came out of retirement and broke the Giannis news?

The USMNT, are they getting too much rest, Tone?

Talking to a couple bar friends. Tonight was a record-breaker for both joints. #TartanArmy

I can’t help about the shape I’m in
I can’t sing, I ain’t pretty and my legs are thin
But don’t ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
Oh well

Now, when I talked to God I knew he’d understand
He said, “Stick by my side and I’ll be your guiding hand
But don’t ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
Oh well

The Heat lucked into LeBron conspiring with Wade and Bosh and have basically assumed every star player should go there for free ever since. Then Butler backed up that belief. They got him for Josh fucking Richardson and the deplorable Hassan Whiteside. And I think they tamper their asses off, too.

For a lightskin black guy Jayson Tatum has the most Italian torso I’ve ever seen.

Maybe Comcast shouldn’t have laid off all those employees in NH?

I need a hydration break.

Eddie’s memorial service must have been well attended, what with all the former co-workers that wanted to make sure he was dead.

If Jimmy Haslem is involved in a sports transaction, I’m confident the other side comes out on top.

I like Norway’s jerseys.

Honk if you remember “Morgan Magic.”

Carli Lloyd is kinda Russini-ish. Is she hot or not? Maybe?

RIP, Duke of Dorchester Pete Doherty.

If you took away every player who actually won a title, Jimmy Butler is the greatest winner in NBA history.

Haiti needs a busier flag. And pretty much that’s all.

Quick WNBA tangent: the usual suspects rushed to Twitter Sunday night, upset that Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve said she wished they could have won that night’s game “for the gays” (it was Pride Night). Yeah Cheryl, stop making the WNBA so gay!

I can’t imagine calling an adult male ‘Scooter’.

Hockey Hall of Fame came calling for Patrice Bergeron. Justly so.

Oh no; now Jaylen’s gonna be moody.

Imagine how good Messi would be if he played in a real league.

Best bet for the weekend: that team is Ghana do it!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, PatriotsDaily, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Bare trees, grey light.

And happy birthday to Czech fashion model, tv host and philanthropist Petra Němcová.

The15 Writers’ Room- “Arrayify tituli librorum, khid!”

Harry Potter and the Podcaster’s Stoned

Harry Potter and the Secrets of the Medicine Cabinet

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Alprazolam

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fireball

Harry Potter and the Order of the Percocet

Harry Potter and the Half-Drunk Mick

Harry Potter and the Deathly Jumpshot

World Cup Primer – Part 5

As a public service, over the past few days this site has been providing some information about the nations and teams competing in this year’s FIFA World Cup. We now come to the final installment. We hope you find it useful.

Group K

Colombia

The national team has been a symbol of nationalism, pride and passion for many Colombians worldwide. Colombia is known for having a passionate fan base, and the team’s dances during goal celebrations are also well-known. In a 1962 match vs the Soviet Union midfielder Marcos Coll scored the only direct corner goal in FIFA World Cup history. Colombia is also known for producing stimulants, record clubs and passion.

HC: Néstor Lorenzo

Captain: James Rodriguez

Nicknames: La Tricolor (The Tricolour) La Sele (The Sele) Los Cafeteros (The Lunchladies)

Team Motto: “No, no he conocido a Juan Valdez” (No, I have not met Juan Valdez)

DR Congo (AKA Democratic Republic of the Congo)

DR Congo returns to the FIFA World Cup after a 52-year absence and a name change. They beat Jamaica 1-0 after extra time in the Inter-Confederation Play-offs to make it to the 2026 World Cup. This came after they finished second by two points to Senegal in Group B of CAF Qualification and sensationally beating Cameroon and Nigeria in the CAF Second Round.

HC: Sébastien Desabre (The Florist)

Captain: Chancel Mbemba

Nicknames: Léopards (Leopards) Guerriers de l’Équateur (Warriors of the Equator) La Céleste (The Skyblue)

Superfan who dresses like slain PM Patrice Lumumba and stands statue-still all game: Yes

DR Congo is also the name of a generic Mr. Pibb sold in Arkansas and Missouri.

Portugal

Since 2000s, Portugal started an uninterrupted streak of qualification for every European Championship and World Cup finals, including a runners-up finish at Euro 2004 on home soil. They experienced much of their success in the late 2010s to mid 2020s, during the captaincy of Ballon d’Or* winner Cristiano Ronaldo, where they won their first-ever major trophy Euro 2016.

HC: Roberto Martinez

Captain: Cristiano Ronaldo

Nicknames: Seleção das Quinas (Team of the Quincunxes) Lusos (Lusitanians) Espanhóis anfíbios (Amphibious Spaniards)

Fun Fact: They speak Brazilian in Portugal.

(*Literally: ‘Bobby Orr’s Balloon’)

Uzbekistan

Uzbekistan qualified for the FIFA World Cup for the first time, becoming the first Central Asian country and the third post-Soviet state after Russia and Ukraine to qualify for the finals. Their playing style is boisterous yet structured, with an oaky finish.

HC: Fabio Cannavaro

Captain: Eldor Shomurodov

Nicknames: White Wolves, Turanians

Favorite post 2000 American Cable TV Drama Program: “The Shield”

Group L

England

The England men’s national football team is the joint-oldest in the world; it was formed at the same time as Scotland’s. England hosted and won the 1966 World Cup. They were the first European nation to secure qualification for the 2026 FIFA World Cup after winning all six of their qualification matches. This iteration of Team England contains a blend of experienced tournament veterans and emerging talent.

HC: Thomas Tuchel (A German in charge of something English? Strange!)

Captain: Harry Kane

Nicknames: The Three Lions, The Lovely Lads

Ghana

The Ghana national football team is one of Africa’s most successful teams with a rich history in continental and international football. In the 2010 FIFA World Cup Ghana played the United States, winning 2–1 in extra time to become only the third African nation to reach the World Cup quarter-finals, before losing to Uruguay in a penalty shootout.

HC: Carlos Queiroz

Captain: Jordan Ayew

Nicknames: Black Stars

Team Rallying Cry: “We’re Ghana Win This Football Match!” [citation needed]

Grapes in chicken salad: No

Panama

While soccer has historically been less popular than baseball or basketball in Panama, the national team’s achievements have increasingly boosted interest in the sport. A three-time runner-up in the CONCACAF Gold Cup, Panama has qualified for the FIFA World Cup twice, in 2018 they scored their first goal against England. The Panama national football team has established itself as a competitive side in Central America, growing in prominence through World Cup appearances and strong performances in regional competitions, and continues to develop as a representative of Panamanian football on the global stage.

HC: Thomas Christiansen

Captain: Yoel Bárcenas

Nicknames: Los Canaleros (The Canal Men) La Marea Roja (The Red Tide) Hombres fuertes (Strongmen)

Favorite Van Halen song: Ice Cream Man

Croatia

Upon its admission into FIFA in 1994 ranked 125th, they ascended to third place with their debut 1998 World Cup campaign. This marked the fastest, most volatile ascension in FIFA ranking history, making them the youngest team to ever reach a Top 10 place in the World Rankings Croatia is the second-smallest country by population (after Uruguay) and land mass (after the Netherlands) to reach a World Cup Final At the World Cup, Croatia holds records for most penalty shoot-out played (4) and won (4) and most penalties saved in a shoot-out (3), among other team records. This is where the saying, ‘Croatians love a shootout’ probably originates.

HC: Zlatko Dalić

Captain: Luka Modrić

Nicknames: Vatreni (Blazers) Kockasti (Checkered Ones)

Team Motto: “dama, ne šah” (Checkers, not chess)

Here are some past Word Cup Mascots to haunt your dreams.

06/17/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Those cheeky Glaswegians.

Eddie Andelman lived to 89 years old on a hot dog and Kowloon diet. Sometimes I’m wondering if this whole fruit and vegetables thing is a ruse.

Is there a Tartan Army? I hadn’t heard.

My sources are saying the primary holdup on the Giannis deal is finding a House of Pizza on the North Shore for his brothers to work at.

Rob Lowe doesn’t have a “FIFA” hat?

Jerry Remy would pronounce it, ‘feefer.’ “You seen any of these Feefer World Cup matches Don?” ‘I have; lot of excitement about them. Will you be watching any of the games?’ “No.”

Tired: “There’s no cheering in the press box!” Wired: “I’m gonna bet $5 on the home team and call the Vegas goalie a rapist.”

The Patriots should keep Erling Haaland in Foxboro and convert him to wide receiver.

Holding a public event in Boston for Bourque and the Cup was such a Loserville mentality thing to do. Same goes for retiring Bruce Armstrong’s number.

The Red Sox envision a big role for Romy Gonzalez.

Cakes are cooking for Peter Lupus, Judy Kimball, Bobby Bell, Chuck Rainey, Barry Manilow, Dave Concepción, Joe Piscopo, Mark Linn-Baker, Bobby Farrelly, Thomas Haden Church, Greg Kinnear, Dan Jansen, Dermontti Dawson, Jason Patric, Ron “Popeye” Jones, Rikrok, Venus Williams, Jodie Whittaker, Kendrick Lamar, and Monica Barbaro.

This Bruins fan is rooting for Bussi and grateful he got this chance to shine!

The ‘no bad ideas’ brainstorming session that led to ‘the cigars were fake’ explanation up in Ipswich must have been hilarious.

We almost had a repeat of the opening game of the 1930 World Cup! That was cool. Eat a dick, Paraguay!

Baseball writers age worse than wrestlers and rappers.

News Item: Jaylen Brown applies for Kai Cenat’s Streamer University. Huh?

Double consonants are always tricky in Wordle.

The only people who think Maradona is better than Messi are boomers and drug addicts.

It’s good to have goals.

Hey gang of Counsels General, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “They all go to work in the same big gray van, like Kowloon employees.”

Kraft suing the town of Foxborough is a fitting tribute to the Rabbi of litigation Eddie Andelman.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

How is Roman supposed to rehab if there’s an ignition interlock device on the door to the batting cages? Allegedly.

If you don’t remember the Alamo, you will certainly remember that fold by the Spurs. Holy ….

It’s okay to admit we’re in a drought, caller!

I love the idea of walking into a bar and asking the bartender for a “fresh pair of Timbs.”

Keeping bars open extra late for the World Cup is nice and all but how about doing it for the grocery stores too I need to get my shopping done.

OFFICE ROMANCE is a funny, witty rom-com with J-Lo and screenwriter Brett Goldstein (Roy Kent from Ted Lasso). Great chemistry in ‘stuffy Brit works for sexy Girl Boss’ set-up. Betty Gilpin is terrific per usual. Hilarious Public Enemy joke just before a funny, KNOCKED UP-inspired scene.

NBA money is crazy. The only thing better than NBA money is daycare money.

The Giants are open to trade offers for Rafael Devers, Willy Adames, Matt Chapman and other players.

Oh, Mandy
Well, you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh, Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh, Mandy.

Getting nervous about the Australia game Friday because we don’t have promotion and relegation.

Aldon Smith was definitely not turning his life around. RIP.

When do our Scotland visitors discover Kowloon?

Matignon would light up on the bench when they clinched the State Championship in Hockey. Better Times.

Greenie looks like the guy in the Men’s Wearhouse commercials.

It can’t be overstated just how much life the Scots have injected into Boston the last few days. The city hasn’t been buzzing like this since pre-Covid. Love to see it.

Smart move by ESPN to have Ernie doing the post game celebration.

A lot of the women in sports seem to think the VGK goalie fella chose trial by combat and now that his team lost he’s definitely a rapist.

Outdoor watch parties? It might be my general distaste for almost everyone but why the fuck does everyone want to deal with every inconvenience of going to the game without the literal one thing that makes it worth it? Hell yeah, let me stand on the pavement in 90-degree weather surrounded by slovenly, sweaty drunks.

Honk if you remember Larissa Riquelme.

Congrats to Scuz, “Fat Tits,” and all the other huge Knicks fans at Barstool.

The neighbors rice always smells better.

Donovan hid in MLS. At least Dempsey played against real players in the Prem and not plumbers on Real Salt Lake.

You can get the flavor of something without swallowing it. A nonissue. Next.

I got Wordle in 3 today and I didn’t even have to start with a slur.

Best bet for the weekend: it’s anyone’s game in the Germany/Ivory Coast match.

Yeesh.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column

Happy birthday as well to tennis player Elena Rybakina.

World Cup Primer – Part 4

As a public service, over the next few days this site will be providing some information about the nations and teams competing in this year’s FIFA World Cup. We hope you find it diverting and droll.

Group I

France

France’s national football team, known as Les Bleus, is one of the most successful football teams globally, having won 2 FIFA World Cups, two UEFA European Championships, and multiple other prestigious international titles. Its symbol is a Gallic rooster smoking a Gauloise. The team is training at Bentley College, and twice a day flights of escargots are being flown into Logan and Hanscom.

HC: Didier Deschamps

Captain: Kylian Mbappé

Nickname: Les Bleus (The Blues)

Team Motto: Les cimetières sont pleins d’hommes indispensables. (The cemeteries are full of indispensable men.)

Fun Fact: All their set-piece plays are named after cheese.

Senegal

The Senegal national football team is one of Africa’s most prominent teams, with notable achievements including a World Cup quarter-final in 2002 and their first Africa Cup of Nations title in 2021.

HC: Pape Thiaw

Captain: Kalidou Koulibaly

Nickname: Lions de la Téranga (Lions of Teranga)

Guilty pleasure: steamed broccoli

Iraq

Known for a resilient and technical disciplined playing style, the Iraq national football team has frequently been viewed as a symbol of national unity within Iraqi society. During periods of war, sanctions and political instability, matches involving the national team often carried social and cultural significance beyond sport itself. Iraq’s victory at the 2007 AFC Asian Cup is widely regarded as one of the most significant moments in the country’s sporting history.

HC: Graham Arnold

Captain: Jalal Hassan

Nickames: Usood al-Rafidayn (Lions of Mesopotamia)

Team Motto: “We are very happy Uday remains dead.”

Norway

Norway’s National Team, Proud historical legacy, modern squad of elite talents, high profile players, tactical guidance, and things of that nature.

HC: Ståle Solbakken

Captain: Martin Ødegaard

Scoring Threat: Erling Haaland

Nicknames: Gresshingstene (Grass Stallions) Røde, Hvite, Blå (Red, White and Blue) Landslaget (National Team) Drillos (?)

Strange letters: Ja

Team motto: “There is only one way, the Norway.”

Adorable Mascot: Pøkey, the Norway Narwhal

Group J

Argentina

The defending World Cup Champions. They know what from soccer.

HC: Lionel Scaloni

Captain: Lionel Messi

Nicknames: La Selección (The Selection) La Albiceleste (The White and Sky Blue) Los Gauchos Gigantes (The Giant Cowboys)

Fun Fact: Tries unsuccessfully every World Cup to turn any match against a British Isles squad into a ‘Winner Keeps the Falkland Islands’ competition.

Algeria

Algeria continues to be a formidable force in African and international football, blending experienced leaders like Riyad Mahrez with emerging talents to maintain competitive performances on the world stage. They are traditionally known for their attacking flair, balanced midfield, and quick wingers.

HC: Vladimir Petkovic

Captain: Rihad Mahrez

Nicknames: The Greens, The Fennecs (Desert Foxes), The Desert Warriors

Fun Fact. Algeria is the largest country in Africa. Go check. We will wait.

Austria

Austria approaches the 2026 World Cup with a combination of historical pride, tactical innovation, and the ambition to reestablish itself as a competitive force on the global stage. Recent friendly wins against Ghana, South Korea, and Tunisia demonstrate form and squad cohesion.

HC: Ralf Rangnick

Captain: David Alaba

Nickname(s): Das Team (The Team) Burschen (The Boys) Unsere Burschen (Our Boys)

Controversial Opinion: Thinks Rolf did nothing wrong in “The Sound of Music.”

Jordan

The Jordan national football team has steadily emerged as a competitive force in Middle Eastern and Asian football, combining historic milestones with recent international success, including their landmark qualification for the FIFA World Cup. But yes, they are just happy to be here. Their WC base camp will be the University of Partland, the one in Oregon.

HC: Jemal Sellami

Captain: Ihsan Haddad

Nicknames: Al-Nashama (The Chivalrous Ones)

Team rallying cry: Sayidati (M’lady!)

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