Here’s a helpful stupid bullshit generator. If you hear a phrase that could be generated by this, you want nothing to do with it:
Generic sentence structure: “You know what would be fun? A B !” “We never go to A B anymore” “You never want to see the A B anymore” “Everyone is saying (the) A B is fun”
The boy gets it. No fun.
Column A: pumpkin apple foliage farm corn paint country cider leaf Salem ghost lantern hay craft harvest waterfront linen art(s)
Column B: picking watch night brunch harvest fair decorating fest(ival) party trail tour picnic community event ride celebration exhibition stroll maze train auction 5K
This will decidedly NOT be fun. At all.
“Everyone is saying the Foliage Trail is fun!” “You know what would be fun? Farm Night!” “We never go to the Cider Stroll anymore.”
Still no.
Yes “harvest” is in both columns; you especially want to avoid anything with “Harvest”.
This generator can be a force for good if you change the generic sentences:
“Isn’t this when you and your {relation} go(es) to the A B ?”
Relation: Mother Aunt Friends
“Isn’t this when you and your mom go to the Harvest Festival?”
Mother and daughter together in park on a bright fall day, having fun and hugging, autumn leaves in the background
Submitted as a public service by The15. Originally published on the BSMW Message Board September 29, 2014, by ‘Marty Nopointe’.
You know what the most jarring experience was for me on Sunday? It wasn’t watching my franchise quarterback get obliterated, benched, and look worse by comparison to the backup who usurped him. It was the fact that I don’t care. Not “I don’t care” like I don’t care if they win or lose, or “I don’t care” because I have a steadfast belief that Drake Maye will turn it around. It is an apathy born from asking myself what else did I expect?, knowing we’ll likely see the exact same thing next week.
My only regret is that I previously said, “Maybe the Jaguars’ tendency to blitz will cause Maye to make fewer mistakes, not more!” Nice prognosis, idiot. Maye was pressured on a staggering 48.4% of his dropbacks.
In my defense, all of Maye’s mistakes actually came when he was facing little duress. That being said, his refusal to take what the defense gives him is maddening. He simply refuses to hit the open player underneath, on the sideline, or execute anything that isn’t high-risk.
Though they only scored six points, they managed to get the ball onto the Jaguars’ side of the field seven times. Each time, they failed to score a touchdown. Instead, they coughed up three critical turnovers—two interceptions and a lost fumble by Maye—ultimately walking away with only two field goals. According to Sports Bureau and NextGenStats tracking data, this ties the highest number of drives an NFL team has advanced into an opponent’s territory without scoring a touchdown in over two decades (matching a 2003 Patriots-Browns game).
The right side of the Patriots’ offensive line was a revolving door. Since losing Mike Onwenu the week prior, his replacement, Greg Van Roten, was also injured early in the contest, leading to a total collapse of protection. Veteran Morgan Moses committed a holding penalty born from bad technique, negating what would have been a 21-yard touchdown run by Maye.
(Maye had 5 WRs open here)
Maye’s short-term regression is indicative of how poorly Eliot Wolf constructed this team, putting all of his eggs in the A.J. Brown basket. Long-term, it is important to remember that Maye is not the first of a new wave of quarterbacks to suddenly regress after an initial breakout.
The more the league trends toward moving the ball up the field while only half-heartedly embracing a conservative scheme, the more this same story will play out for reasons beyond on-field personnel and the offensive coordinator. Trevor Lawrence struggled mightily until this past season, often waxing and waning, until finally learning enough that you can confidently say he’s a quarterback you can win your division with. There was no magic elixir, no change in play-calling, and no influx of talent. His brain finally learned how to play football. It is that simple fact fans don’t wish to accept as reality for Maye: he does not know how to play football yet. Full stop.
Bad Mechanics, anyone?
The people clamoring for him to be Tom Brady—to be a model of consistent excellence for 20 years—need to get their heads checked. He’ll never be that, and we’ll likely never see that again. What we can get is year-after-year development into a solid, savvy quarterback who won’t make it his personal mission to give the ball away. He’s 24 and a bit of a moron, but what we saw in 2025 doesn’t magically disappear overnight.
For the first three games of this season, the Patriots offense has scored 29 points on 30 drives. You know what that is comparable to? The 2021 New York Jets, led by Zach Wilson. (Link to the tweet that is proof of this —
The Patriots offense has scored 29 points on 30 drives this season
That’s the fewest points per drive (0.97) by any team through 3 games since the 2021 Jets in the 1st 3 starts of Zach Wilson’s career
I never thought I’d be clamoring for Cam Ward to be my quarterback three games into the year, yet here we are. Is Ward good? Certainly not. He misses open guys routinely and scored only seven points against the Giants in a game that was begging to be taken. But you know what he doesn’t do? Turn the ball over. If Maye had Ward’s paltry stats of two touchdowns and one interception, as opposed to one touchdown and six interceptions, this team is 2-1—or hell, maybe 3-0 if they could give their defense a needed respite. Give me the quarterback who understands on some macro level that he sucks and plays within his limitations over the quarterback who says all the right things about accountability but goes out there and makes the same mistakes. At this point, any Patriots possession that ends in a punt rather than a turnover should be welcomed.
Is it a sign of defeat when you say not to expect a championship-level quarterback this season, next season, or even the season after that? Of course it is! But you shouldn’t hope for Maye to be that right now because it’s akin to banging your head against a wall. Just hope he becomes someone the Patriots are willing to keep around on a reasonable salary when his rookie contract is torn up. They won’t do it, and they absolutely shouldn’t do it, but I’d be inclined to want to see Tommy DeVito out there—knowing he isn’t any good—out of sheer curiosity to see if my inclination that this is largely Maye’s fault is correct. In the stint DeVito had in garbage time against Jacksonville, he did not turn the ball over, completed three passes for 30 yards, and logged an efficient 77 passer rating. The ball came out quickly, and the Patriots played a cleaner brand of offense in that little stint than at any point prior this season.
If you were to ask me in August how I saw this first matchup against the Bills going, I’d tell you both quarterbacks would try to keep the opposing team in the game, and ultimately it would come down to coaching and the fact that Buffalo’s defense stinks, allowing the Patriots to eke out a win. Now? I thoroughly expect a boat race. The good news is that after Buffalo, the Patriots have two easier games against Las Vegas and New York. While the Raiders are 3-0 and the Jets are feisty, the Patriots should not lose those games. If they lose those, you might as well start preparing for 2027.
If they can claw their way to 3-3 heading into week six, maybe A.J. Brown comes back, the offense opens up a little, Maye steadies himself, and the team can play the conservative style it needs to remain competitive for a playoff spot.
Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.
When Austin Wells drove in George Lombard, I said to myself, ‘Self; the Red Sox aren’t going to lose this game 1-0.’ And I was right!
Drake Maye has the grip strength of Stephen Hawking.
All lists are inherently awful.
Here’s hoping the Patriots follow the Bruins lead and beat the team from New York Sunday.
Pedro doesn’t age. The new Bobby Orr.
‘Angry Bill’ died? Like, recently, not ten years ago? RIP.
Why didn’t the umpire tell Verlander’s daughter to get the hell off the field?
I miss AJ’s gravity. That shit was real, bro.
Cakes are cooking for Angie Dickinson, Johnny Mathis, Marilyn McCoo, Victoria Tennant, Catie Ball, John Lombardo, Barry Williams, Fran Drescher, Marty Stuart, Crystal Bernard, Eric Stoltz, Trey Anastasio, Kathleen Madigan, Tony Hale, Jenna Elfman, Carlos Guillén, Marion Cotillard, Candice Michelle, Martina Hingis, Dominique Moceanu, Kieran Culkin, Lacey Chabert, T-Pain, Mary Paoletti Brown, Max Verstappen, and Maddie Ziegler.
Pro tip: Don’t post an old picture of yourself posing with a ‘Saved By the Bell’ actor. It doesn’t end well.
Roman Anthony is made of precious antique Murano glass.
Crockpot bags are the greatest invention.
Peyton Tolle is on the right side of being a weirdo, Triston Casas is on the wrong side.
Like boxing, styles make WNBA playoff series.
Love how they air the Protect College Sports Act ads like we get a chance to vote on it.
The Good Kid will make a great captain.
Green Line: Due to signal modernization work there is no service between North Station & Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C+D), & Heath St (E) through October 4. Use buses for service to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay & North Station.
Bobby Manning always sounds like he just huffed a canister of computer duster.
That Madden trailer looks like a parody.
I’ve got Laura Rutledge bot looking accounts following me now on Instagram.
Fine, I’ll say it. The Brazilian national anthem stinks.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Sex is great, but have you ever worn a sweatshirt?”
News Item: Bruins concession souvenirs this year include ice cream in goalie masks and draft beer in a hockey glove mug.
Zolak should check his tone. The only QB with worse ball security than Maye is his kid.
John Schreiber being on the Yankees playoff roster against the Red Sox isn’t something you can ever truly prepare for.
Hasselbeck doesn’t look so good. Hope he’s well.
Watched FLEABAG on Prime. Six 1/2 hour eps. Funny, raunchy, something very different. I dug it.
How is there no video of the Section 10 block party after the grand slam?
Andy Reid shouldn’t be in a commercial where they say ‘We’re a family again.’
John Mulaney is just Bowen Yang for bros. One note.
The thing that drives me nuts with Drake Maye is all these cvnts second guessed every decision made by Belichick, they lost their mind over every bad play out of Brady, Gronk, Gilmore or any other star. But Maye can suck for weeks on end and we’re doing fucking Zapruder film shit to prove it definitely wasn’t Drake’s fault!!
And while we’re at it, yeah, I’m this miserable in real life, Dan. I work for a fucking living and spend my off day walking the dog in the downpour, cleaning my basement, watching an abortion of a football game, and cooking a delicious goddamn dinner. I don’t post 9 photo grids online for a couple cents from Elon while mooching off my wife’s salary and acting like I’m better than everyone else for it.
Well, you’re windy and wild You got the blues in your shoes and your stockings
You’re windy and wild, oh, yeah Well, you’re built like a car You got a hub cap diamond star halo You’re dirty, sweet, and you’re my girl
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on Get it on, bang a gong, get it on (ooh, yeah)
Once worked with a person who withdrew from their 401k with penalty to buy gold to bury in their backyard.
I just hope the open of tonight’s Red Sox Yankees game focuses on the ‘Curse of the Bambino.’
Nicholas Batum just concluded an 18-year NBA career without ever attracting much attention. But 18 years means someone always wanted you around. Au revoir, Monseiur.
Drake made it sound like the football was disgorged from an elevator at The Overlook Hotel.
Northampton is just one of many cities/towns in Western MA. They don’t rep 413.
There are more people alive today that have seen first-run episodes of The Ernie Kovacs Show than have watched Fleabag.
Kristaps Porzingis is out indefinitely to open training camp with a health issue, per Warriors. Another immediate blow to GSW’s depth.
Get up, walk the dog, turn the computer on and all of a sudden it’s dinner time.
Is UMass a wagon??
The Sullivans want to know why a nor’easter couldn’t have necessitated the cancelation of The Jackson’s Victory Tour in its entirety.
Celtics haven’t had a captain since Rondo in 2014.
As God as my witness, when it was reported 946 could add a member, I was going to post it should be Jaida Parker. I never got around to it. Either way, she fits perfectly. Raw’s hitting its stride, focusing on younger/fresher talent!
Honk if you remember ‘Good Morning, Miss Bliss’.
I feel like Dak Prescott always looks awesome, until he doesn’t. A perfect Tony Romo replacement.
You don’t hit your macros by taking care of a screaming kid.
It takes me a good three games of playoff baseball to get a read on each network’s scorebug.
“Human services coordinator” sounds like what a hooker would put on a LinkedIn page.
Has Coach Vrabes considered renting out a movie theater and showing the team The Program?
It makes me smile that Lucky gets his own Media Day photos.
Best bet for the weekend: buses traveling to Buffalo.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Well it’s plain to see you were meant for me. And I’m your toy, your 20th century boy.
And Happy Birthday to sturdy Italian model & Actress Monica Bellucci.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! But so far, the best anyone has done is eked out a tie! Insufficient!
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
You should try and win prizes.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Chargers at Bills
Panthers at Browns
Texans at Colts
Jets at Lions
Patriots at Jaguars
Chiefs at Dolphins
Titans at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Seahawks at Commanders
Cardinals at 49ers
Vikings at Buccaneers
Raiders at Saints
Ravens at Cowboys
Rams at Broncos
Eagles at Bears (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our autumnal group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
And good luck to all our contestants!
It’s like I’m in Blade Runner, or Wobey Mike’s idea of Seattle.
If that crazy, fat, bald, old man who lives alone in his creepy basement apartment has seemed extra irritable lately, it’s not only because he’s been getting his teeth kicked in on Twitter every day (although that’s 99% of the reason). It’s also because his rheumatism is probably acting up due to the impending Nor’easter (that and his eleven meniscus surgeries).
Nor’easterPreparedness Tips:
Stock Up on the 4 B’s: Beer, Bread, Batteries and Beer
Secure the Exterior: Bring patio furniture, garbage cans, and any small children indoors
Protect Windows: Baseball season isn’t over, but it might be time to install the storm windows
Clear Drainage: Send your wife up the ladder to clean out the gutters and downspouts
Vehicle Prep: Keep your gas tank full. Remember, much like your beer fridge: “half full is empty”
Check on Your Elderly Neighbors: They may have some extra beer
Hang in there
Stay safe, keep your paws dry, and remember: if the house blows away, you still have eight lives left.
Sunday Lunch Time Chargers at Bills (-7) Bills short circuit Bolts
Panthers (-2.5) at Browns Black cats poop out Brown turds
A Cleveland Steamer
Texans (-2.5) at Colts Someone has to win, and Indy lost the coin flip
“What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”
Jets at Lions (-6.5) Kings of Beasts feast fancy on Gino’s Jets
Patriots at Jaguars (-2.5) Spotted cats pounce on Maye’s many mistakes
Suffice it to say, the Patriots’ original plan heading into the season did not survive first contact. Injuries have plagued this team dating back to training camp, when veteran tight end Julian Hall was ruled out for the year. This loss, followed by losing A.J. Brown and Mike Onwenu, is steadily pushing offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels into places he does not want to go—namely, putting the game more in Drake Maye’s hands.
For the past two weeks, Maye has thrown into double coverage, backed his way into sacks, and exhibited poor footwork. Last season, he threw a measly 8 interceptions. This year, he already has four. Each interception can be attributed to the same problem: throwing into double coverage and diverting from the conservative game plan. Maye is not the first quarterback to regress this season. If your name isn’t Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, or Lamar Jackson, virtually everyone is regressing. For Maye, the story behind his step backward is a lack of patience and maturity. Now, I don’t mean maturity in terms of being a good teammate or a hard worker; there is nothing to suggest Maye is anything but a model coworker. Rather, he lacks the maturity to put mistakes behind him so he does not repeat them in the same game. He will beat himself up, get down, and then make the same mistake a quarter later. Say what you want about Rhamondre Stevenson—the man can be a fumbling machine—but in the Pittsburgh game, he got benched after losing the ball, came back, and ran with power.
The numbers from Next Gen Stats indicated that Maye was pressured on 48.1% of his dropbacks against Pittsburgh. But I watched that game. While the protection could certainly be better, the stat does not reveal that those pressures are also partly Maye’s fault. He is backing into pressure, bailing from clean pockets, and failing to step up. His new habit of fadeaway, off-balanced throws is also maddening. We can blame the offensive line, the receivers, and the coordinators all we want, but the bottom line is that even if they aren’t perfect, they aren’t a hindrance to the degree that lets Maye off the hook.
The Patriots are 1-1 heading into a battle against Jacksonville when they should be 2-0. The concern is that Jacksonville, while flawed, knows who they are, and their quarterback isn’t as mistake prone as ours. A well-balanced, defensive-oriented game should notch a win for Jacksonville. The good news is that the Jaguars’ defense tends to blitz at a high rate (36.7% through two weeks), and Maye’s primary issue is that he struggles when teams rush four or fewer defenders. Three of his four interceptions came against that exact scheme. If Jacksonville decides to blitz, perhaps it will actually limit Maye’s mistakes.
This offseason, you could have made the case that the Patriots were quietly mismanaging their wide receiver group. While keeping Stefon Diggs on his original three-year, $69 million deal right as the cap hike was about to happen would have been malpractice. His age and history of knee problems was enough to scare teams away. But there was a possibility they could have cut him and taken their chances that he would return on a deal similar to the one he signed with the Washington Commanders. I get the rationale and respect the idea that cutting a player just to re-sign him to a smaller deal is rare. I don’t blame management for cutting Diggs; I would have done the same thing. The mistakes I believe they made are ones I likely would have made too: letting Diggs walk and signing Romeo Doubs. It all felt like a pragmatic upgrade designed to take advantage of having an elite quarterback on a rookie contract.
It is too early to properly evaluate the A.J. Brown trade. While I previously pointed to scenarios where it could be very profitable for New England, his age and asking price made me hope the deal wouldn’t happen. Not to mention, it created a glut at the wide receiver position that painted New England into a corner. Suddenly, Maye’s deep threat, Kayshon Boutte, was shipped off for a solid backup safety, Jaylen Reed, who will get playing time due to injuries in the secondary. However, I felt it was understated just how much the continuity Maye built with his players last season mattered.
Last year, the Patriots spent the offseason building a rapport in training camp, scrimmages, and preseason games. This preseason, the starters on offense did not play at all. Back in the Brady-Belichick era, even though the offense would run a vanilla, bare-bones operation in August, it got everyone reacquainted with game speed and presented them with opportunities to solve problems on their own without wasting schemes needed for games that counted. That preparation was severely lacking this preseason. Not only has it led to a standard September where games are treated like an extended exhibition, but it has also put New England squarely behind the 8-ball. Go watch Maye in November and December of last year, look at the poise he possessed, and compare that to him now. It is like all his development went out the window.
Much has been said about McDaniels “not having a feel for this team,” but it is hard to take that argument in good faith. For one, I think McDaniels possesses an intimate knowledge of what this team can and cannot do. Until Maye’s footwork stops looking like a baby deer, he will have to play a conservative style that grinds out wins. Every interception is simply validation that he has not yet earned the right to throw 50 times a game and play on the same tier as the elite quarterbacks we want him to emulate.
Do not ‘just sling it.’
Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.
Were people expecting a Zolak to be good at quarterbacking?
In early May, the idea that the Red Sox would need to buy champagne and beer to celebrate making the playoffs seemed preposterous. Let them have their moment.
Ironically, Caleb Williams has to not play this weekend to look like less of a pussy.
Nothing more basic than a “my sport is tougher” pissing match.
The Patriots not only didn’t lose, they actually won!
Baseball savants: Today is the 118th anniversary of Fred Merkle’s alleged “boner.” The rest of you don’t give a shit.
Tommy DeVito was excited in the locker room. Why? He got Aaron Rodgers’ jersey.
Saw an alligator on my way to Starbucks. Owning.
Subaru Sue O’Connell has more sick relatives than Manny Ramirez.
Cakes are cooking for Julio Iglesias, Steve Boone, Neal Smith, Bruce Springsteen, Maren Jensen, Larry Mize, Marvin Lewis, Jason Alexander, John Harbaugh, Mark Woodforde, Pete Harnisch, Jeff Cirillo, Tapio Laukkanen, Ani DiFranco, Karl Pilkington, Anthony Mackie, Keri Lynn Pratt, Anneliese van der Pol, Matt Kemp, Joba Chamberlain, Brandon Jennings, and Maleah Joi Moon.
Tortilla chips can be the oyster crackers of chili if you do it right.
He was too old by that point, but I’ve always thought Paul Newman would’ve been perfect for the Frank Costello role in The Departed. Not a huge fan of Nicholson’s performance.
My dog, Clavicular, is sure enjoying the cooler temps outside today.
Michael Lombardi started a Substack. Football Done Right is where my NFL writing lives now: the Tuesday review, the Friday Lombardi Look Ahead, QB and power ratings, and deep dives like this one on why Dan Campbell has never fixed the Lions defense. Free and paid tiers.
Brit soccer fans would have had a multi-stanza “Rodgers Can’t Fuck” chant good to go, Pats fans. Just sayin’.
These last 6 Red Sox games feel like NFL Preseason Game #3.
Green Line: Due to signal modernization work there will be no service between North Station & Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C+D), & Heath St (E) Sep 26 – Oct 4. Use buses for service to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay & North Station.
How you all feel watching Tolle on the hill is exactly how I feel watching The Butchie.
Can we be honest here? Sydney Sweeney was not chosen for the ad as a “representation of women in sport,” she was chosen for the ad because they’re trying to sell a gambling app to 18-24 year old males who masturbate frequently.
Japan is an amazing place.
Hey gang of tough love givers, ‘this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “stop calling girls hon. It’s disgusting.”
If I’m the Patriots I bring back Joe Milton III to put pressure on Drake Maye’s job. Drake is quickly becoming the athletic version of Mac Jones.
Let’s all agree to stop acknowledging Guyliner from Braintree.
Why did Nantz making it sound like it’s a big deal that a defensive lineman never had a TD in college?
In the wee, wee hours Your mind gets hazy Radio relay towers Gon’ lead me to my baby. The radio’s jammed up With talk show stations It’s just talk, talk, talk, talk ‘Til you lose your patience.
Mister state trooper Please don’t stop me.
Colorado native Tim Miller had to wear an ole Miss shirt today because his beloved LSU lost. what a scamp!
Another solid game from Will Campbell.
Sometimes my mustache bothers me, but I can’t shave it cause then I’d look Amish.
Rachel Dratch, you still got it, kid.
License to Ill was revolutionary Mort. It was the REAL 1st rap album to cross over into suburbia and was the genesis for rap becoming mainstream.
Tape measures in America have centimeters.
You just can not take New York City seriously as long as it continues to air JEOPARDY! before “Wheel Of Fortune”.
Angel Reese is genuinely Tim Duncan.
New investigation for UNC: Does Bill Belichick steal Kristi Noem’s husband’s fetish? If UNC worms its way out of that contract, he could always do Walking Bets.
The Red Sox no longer have an interim manager but they still have an interim Citgo sign.
Tom is going to have a toothpick in his mouth and a pack of smokes rolled up in his sleeve when he calls the game next week. Edgy!
Loop Loc has a variety of color ways and styles that accentuate your pool area in style and safety.
Honk if you remember when Cheryl Ladd replaced Farrah Fawcett on Charlie’s Angels.
That guy over there, he looks like the woodchuck Joey Gladstone used to fist on Full House.
I see Todd Helton got a zesty statue.
Dan Campbell is an idiot’s idea of a great coach, style over substance.
Tell that one Freiermuth story again.
“Someone else’s business” is certainly one way to describe being a homewrecker.
The Entitled Town Podcast is my only source for WNBA playoff predictions except for the rest of the internet.
Best bet for the weekend: raingear.
You WILL get wet.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, David Burge, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Glory Days.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
The cat won!
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Fun! Prizes!
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Panthers at Falcons
Vikings at Bears
Bengals at Texans
Steelers at Patriots
Packers at Jets
Eagles at Titans
Saints at Ravens
Browns at Buccaneers
Jaguars at Broncos
Raiders at Chargers
Seahawks at Cardinals
Commanders at Cowboys
Dolphins at 49ers
Colts at Chiefs
Giants at Rams (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t the way of your people, post them on the Twitter and our swell new batch of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
A statement for immediate release from New England Patriots and Gillette Stadium Owner Robert Kraft…
🚨 LOCAL MUSICIANS WANTED 🚨
Are you looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?
Do you possess an instrument, a pulse, and absolutely zero financial ambitions?
Do you know how to keep your opinions to yourself?
Brilliant! Because we have the perfect opportunity for YOU! We are putting together a band to open for legendary singer songwriter and all around mensch, Mr. Ed Sheeran on September 25th and 26th. Our previously booked act, a highly unprofessional meshugener schmuck, tragically canceled on us. That putz’s loss is your golden opportunity!
What We Offer Unparalleled Exposure: Play for a stadium full of people that was expecting someone else entirely! The Thrill of the Rescue: Bask in the heroic glory of saving our event from absolute disaster. Complimentary Air: Breathe all the ambient oxygen you want while on stage. Free Refreshments: A half-empty cooler of lukewarm Gatorade awaits you backstage, plus one (1) complimentary bologna sandwich after your performance is complete. (NOTE: The sandwich will only be available on night two.)
What We Need Anyone who can carry a tune, hold a beat, or at least look convincing pretending to do so. Someone with absolutely no opinions on anything, especially regarding an obscure ongoing minor dispute in the Middle East. A performer with a deep, spiritual understanding that “art is its own reward” – because you won’t be getting paid.
If this sounds like you, please bring your gear and your talent down to One Patriot Place. We will supply the mandatory blue square pin.
Don’t mention Paw-listine
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers (-1.5) at Falcons Black Cats pounce on predators
Vikings at Bears (-5.5) Bears knockout Norsemen
Bengals at Texans (-3) Stripey Cats give Houston problems
Steelers at Patriots (-5.5) Kraft bans Qanon Rodgers from preforming at Gillette
Fire up the space laser
Packers (-4) at Jets Meatmen grind up Gotham
Don’t try this at home
Eagles (-7) at Titans American birds top Tits
Did someone say American tit top?
Saints at Ravens (-8.5) Scary Black Birds martyr Saints
Browns at Buccaneers (-8.5) Bucs bake Brownies
Elf on the baking shelf
Sunday Dinner Time Jaguars at Broncos (-3) Spotty cats love high places
Raiders at Chargers (-7) Plugs turn out Vegas lights
Seahawks (-4.5) at Cardinals Fake Seabirds swarm pretty red birds
Commanders at Cowboys (-3.5) Cowboys master Commanders
Dolphins at 49ers (-12.5) Prospectors fry fish
Sunday Prowl Time Colts at Chiefs (-6.5) Watch out Men of Czonka, 17-0 is still on the table
Don’t go popping that champagne just yet
Monday Prowl Time Giants at Rams (-7) Horny sheep gore G-men
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
A lot of you are gonna crawl back into the woodwork when Drake bounces back. Bookmarks and screenshots last forever, though.
I learned from the sideline reporter last Friday night that BC is 4 miles away from Brigham Young Hospital.
Sue O’Connell is like Keith Olbermann if he were a man.
Don’t ask me why Ben Shelton has never won a Grand Slam tournament. How are seven guys in the world better than this guy?
Okay so apparently Chris Smith is the coolest reporter in Boston so that’s good to know.
Melbin?
Here’s the thing: starting a podcast, is the new, ‘pivot, to video!’
Butch from the Cape would be very disappointed.
I can’t belive Bob would genocide Mackerelmore like that.
Cakes are cooking for Joe Butler, Bernie Calvert, Dennis Conner, Kenney Jones, Ron Blair, Rosemary Casals, Ed Begley Jr, Susan Ruttan, David Bellamy, Henry Louis Gates Jr., Loyd Grossman, Mickey Rourke, Lenny Clarke, Robin Yount, David Copperfield, Jennifer Tilly, Orel Hershiser, Tim Raines, Mickey Tettleton, Bilinda Butcher, Mark Parent, Richard Marx, Bernie Parmalee, Marc Anthony, Chester McGlockton, Amy Pohler, Shawntel Smith, Dan Dickau, Fan Bingbing, Madeline Zima, Nick Jonas, Bryson DeChambeau, Metro Boomin, and Aaron Gordon.
Coach Vrabes, your behavior disappointed Katie Nolan.
Have an image in my head of Jeff Howe being pissed off that the Angel of Death has once again passed by him to flirt with another member of his social circle.
Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise is an EXTREMELY underrated movie.
That Clay Matthews chin pic is more believable than Glenn’s.
Spero Dedes and Adam Archuleta will be on the week 3 CBS call for Patriots-Jaguars the network announced. A team one week to E team the next.
Need Pablo Torre to do an episode on Kendra’s income streams.
A football pre-game show with Pat McAfee AND Jason Kelce?!!!! Is it Christmas already??
Hey gang of karma chameleons, this week’s Phrase that pays is, “Trans Sisters. We are getting scolded by LITERAL BOY GEORGE for being trainwreck Jew haters. Gay dad is disappointed in us. We’ve gotta get our shit together.”
Wait, the placekicker for Green Bay is named ‘Trey Smack?’
Was hoping to hear Mike Conley say he’s wearing #45 with the Celtics because he was a huge Andrew DeClercq fan.
If my ND shirt doesn’t come in soon Babz is gonna hear about it.
Lots of celebrities talk a big game. Few back it up with actions like Mr. Steve Buscemi.
The Red Sox have mastered the art of the Matrix slide.
This is no social crisis This is you havin’ fun No crisis Gettin’ burned by the sun This is true-
This is no social crisis,
Just another tricky day for you.
Krafty Bob fucked Ed Shreehan like the hand of a 60-year old Vietnamese masseuse.
Just saw The Odyssey and had an out of body experience when Sean Avery popped up lmao
Boy, did Green Bay take a massive shit in their pants.
Taylor Swift doing a song/soundtrack for the next Tom Cruise movie? Co-starting in it? No way that’s random. For the record – I’m in favor of any of that.
Bert Bell invented “the Streisand Effect.”
Green Line C Branch Update: The delay has cleared.
Of course Mutnansky is Team Will Flemming.
Hot take: Rutgers might not be very good this year.
I’m hearing that the lingering effects of long Covid means that Ted Sarandis is unable to be a guest on Big O’s podcast for the foreseeable future. Heartbreaking.
Fake ASL interpreter is my absolute dream job.
Honk if you remember where to get a score card at Pine Oaks Golf Course.
Surely the fans who complain about the Patriots OC every year regardless of who it is are right this time.
Great news everybody, Curtis Mead is “definitely touching a bat”.
Now is the spy bunker actually in Gillette Stadium proper, or, like, in the closed Game Stop location in Jonathan City?
Remember: laughter is a involuntary response.
The best part of an Ohio State loss is Bertie Breer’s insincere congratulations to the other team.
Best bet for the weekend: Fluff.
The15 Writers’ Room- ‘The Big O has transformed into CGI Errol Flynn’ ‘Clean cut Kurt Sutter’ ‘He looks like he’s starring in a reboot of Shane’ “looks like he’s been the star of Days of Our Lives for the past 30 years.’ ‘Kinda looks like The $15 Dollar Man’ ‘Like someone photoshopped Tom Selleck into his face’ ‘Looks like Leonardo DiCaprio would if he dated someone over 25’
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, Old Friend Humphrey, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.It’s all too beautiful.
And happy birthday to model/actress Alexis Bledel.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Back to the salt mines.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Fun! Prizes!
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Bears at Panthers
Buccaneers at Bengals
Ravens at Colts
Saints at Lions
Bills at Texans
Browns at Jaguars
Jets at Titans
Falcons at Steelers
Packers at Vikings
Commanders at Eagles
Dolphins at Raiders
Cardinals at Chargers
Cowboys at Giants
Broncos at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our shiny new batch of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
And good luck to all our contestants!
Time to gnaw the tape. What’s that? Grind tape? Agree to disagree.
