Here’s a helpful stupid bullshit generator. If you hear a phrase that could be generated by this, you want nothing to do with it:
Generic sentence structure: “You know what would be fun? A B !” “We never go to A B anymore” “You never want to see the A B anymore” “Everyone is saying (the) A B is fun”
The boy gets it. No fun.
Column A: pumpkin apple foliage farm corn paint country cider leaf Salem ghost lantern hay craft harvest waterfront linen art(s)
Column B: picking watch night brunch harvest fair decorating fest(ival) party trail tour picnic community event ride celebration exhibition stroll maze train auction 5K
This will decidedly NOT be fun. At all.
“Everyone is saying the Foliage Trail is fun!” “You know what would be fun? Farm Night!” “We never go to the Cider Stroll anymore.”
Still no.
Yes “harvest” is in both columns; you especially want to avoid anything with “Harvest”.
This generator can be a force for good if you change the generic sentences:
“Isn’t this when you and your {relation} go(es) to the A B ?”
Relation: Mother Aunt Friends
“Isn’t this when you and your mom go to the Harvest Festival?”
Mother and daughter together in park on a bright fall day, having fun and hugging, autumn leaves in the background
Submitted as a public service by The15. Originally published on the BSMW Message Board September 29, 2014, by ‘Marty Nopointe’.
It’s been a long summer for Celtics fans. More importantly, it’s been a long summer for me watching Philly fans take a more obnoxious victory lap than Knicks fans. Heading into this season, the local and national media perception surrounding the Celtics is that they’re entering a phase similar to when the Red Sox traded Mookie Betts—it’s all about the bottom line.
I have written about this team a lot and tried to present a fair and honest assessment of why the offseason went the way it did. I staked the claim that owner Bill Chisholm is not John Henry, and that the Jaylen Brown trade was made solely for basketball purposes. While we may quibble with the return—and trust me, my heart has still not accepted this new reality—for the time being, I am confident we’ve seen the beginning of why Brad Stevens did what he did in a manner that is no longer just hypothetical.
The Celtics took the money that likely would have gone to Brown’s extension and proceeded to re-sign their depth pieces. They locked down starting center Neemias Queta (4 years, $56 million), Jordan Walsh (3 years, $15 million), Ron Harper Jr. (4 years, $13 million), and, just earlier this week, Payton Pritchard (2 years, $44 million). The Celtics have firmly bet on their depth to carry them through a front-loaded Eastern Conference, while crossing their fingers that the squads that hastily assembled super-teams implode by season’s end.
It’s a calculated risk. I’m sure this was the loneliest summer of Stevens’ career. He went from the Whiz Kid who brought home Banner 18 to an odious figure who watched the Miami Heat obtain Giannis and traded a beloved star to their most hated rival in Philly. Even rank-and-file Celtics fans have not only questioned him, but also wondered if this is the beginning of the end of the Stevens era. Time will tell.
Brad did not leave to coach a college team. At all.
For what it is worth, the Celtics never seemed anything but content with their choices. While fans brainstormed trades to dump Paul George’s salary, the Celtics brass made it known they’re happy to have the 36-year-old forward next to Jayson Tatum in the frontcourt. The returns in the two preseason games we’ve seen them play have been very good! George has a velvet touch with the basketball; his ability to veer into opposing teams’ passing lanes and turn a defensive possession into transition offense is tremendous.
While Tatum was always the better of the Jays, the sense that they were “dueling banjos” stems from the odd fit the two always had together. Brown was a high-usage, not-so-efficient ball-stopper who occasionally flashed brilliance when trusted to handle the ball. His peak in 2024 was a sight to behold, but in context, it had a lot to do with the spectacular players who were also on that team and able to cover up his weaknesses.
George has said and done all the right things so far. He’s come across as incredibly humble, sincere, and genuinely happy to be in a place where he isn’t expected to be the focal point. He is a key cog in a machine designed to churn out regular-season wins. The Celtics aren’t under any delusions that prime PG-13 is coming back; they merely want him to play a brand of basketball that better fits the Mazzulla Ball philosophy.
One strength the Celtics have this year as opposed to last is a surplus of ball-handling. Tatum obviously was out until March, and Brown was never much of a dribbler. With Tatum back in the fold and George next to him, the Celtics have excellent distributors to complement their backcourt.
There is the issue of George’s health, and that is something you truly cannot ignore. The Celtics’ staff has managed players with iffy histories better than most and still couldn’t get a player like Kristaps Porzingis on the floor for their most important games. Now, factoring in Tatum coming off an Achilles injury and a 36-year-old George, it isn’t a stretch to imagine them missing time.
This is where betting on depth matters. It’s why you re-sign players like Walsh and Harper—so they can handle the workload in the dog days of the season, allowing you to turn to Pritchard and tell him to go get you thirty points.
The ultimate irony heading into the season is that despite all the doom and gloom, I do see this Celtics team as extremely talented with very few holes besides the health risks. The center rotation went from a weakness to a strength. Queta is back, looking to put a bad postseason behind him. Mitchell Robinson is ready to “possession maxx” on the boards, as the kids would say. And I feel much better about Luka Garza being a third-string big man than a backup. They form an excellent trio of screeners, bruisers, and smart players ready for the 82-game grind.
Pritchard and White are back in the backcourt. Optimism is high that Pritchard can take another leap, and there is legitimate hope he can achieve All-Star status. He’s gotten better every year since his initial extension in the summer of 2023, and I think the Celtics are confident there is even more to his game to be unlocked. White is coming off a campaign where he did virtually everything perfectly, except shoot the ball.
Somebody call 9-1-1, White and Whitey shooting fire on the parquet floor, whoa.
Now, that can be explained away. The team without Tatum had a dearth of offense, making it easy for defenses to focus entirely on White. He had to take care of the ball-handling, perimeter defense, and even rim-protecting duties. Perhaps that heavy workload factored into his field-goal percentage sinking below the Atlantic Ocean. I choose to believe he’ll rebound under these new and improved conditions.
Last season, the Celtics cobbled together a top-five defensive unit on a roster otherwise devoid of elite depth. Now, they have added an elite rim-protector and a veteran defensive wing who excels at off-ball defense, all while subbing out their weakest link. The bullish part of me looks at that and sees a higher upside for this team than most expect.
What tempers my expectations is, admittedly, the outside perception possibly being onto something. I lack the courage of my convictions! But in fairness, I also see the Eastern Conference as a bunch of robust, middle-class teams scrapping and clawing to win between 48 and 53 games. There should be room for nuance. For example, I do have the New York Knicks making it back to the Finals. I just don’t see how they’ll win more than 53 games—the same mark as the year prior—in a conference where teams aren’t actively tanking.
Teams’ strengths will be diluted by what appears to be a lackluster win-loss record. A sleeping giant in the East awaits the playoffs. My reading on the Celtics is they’ll win a modest 50 games—but I do not see them as that sleeping giant.
Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! Congratulations once again to Warren Dull’s Aunt! Going 10-3-1 last week, she did better than FC’s none too shabby 8-5-1.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, a $25 Amazon Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Fluff, CITCO shirt, & your choice of KENO hat!
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Texans at Jaguars
Bears at Falcons
Ravens at Browns
Titans at Colts
Jets at Patriots
Saints at Giants
Panthers at Eagles
Steelers at Buccaneers
Cardinals at Rams
Chargers at Chiefs
Bills at Raiders
Cowboys at Packers
Commanders at 49ers (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our nice group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
And good luck to all our contestants!
You better be winning fair and square, Auntie! Get your three-season room in order!
This weekend coxswains and cocksmen from across the globe will be flowing into the Hub of the Universe to take part in the world’s largest Regatta… The Head of the Charles!
Prep school lore has it that the phrase “Lose your shirt” originated in the crew tradition of shirt-racing, when members of the losing team were obliged to strip the racing shirts off their backs and hand them to their opponents on the water. Today crews pass shirts on the dock, tempering the humiliation of their defeat. This delay of the exchange has allowed savvy rowers to pivot to trading less expensive shirts for cost saving purposes. Any penny pinching cox out there are encouraged to visit the official The15net store for a wide variety of affordable and fashionable t-shirts.
It’s what winners are wearing
Sunday Breakfast Time Texans at Jaguars (-3) Spotted cats topple Texan tourists
Oh behave!
Sunday Lunch Time Bears (-3) at Falcons Bears slap Penix-less birds of prey
Ravens (-4.5) at Browns Scary black birds bomb Browns
Titans at Colts (-7) Horses honk hooters
Hooters horse
Jets at Patriots (-7.5) Patriots intercept Jets
The first 100 people in line receive a free bag of sawdust
Saints at Giants (-1.5) Popes pop Pituitaries
Panthers at Eagles (-1.5) Black cats sauce Big Dom’s meatballs
Now that’s a spicy meat-a-ball!
Steelers (-3) at Buccaneers Steelers bake Bucs
Sunday Dinner Time Cardinals at Rams (-13.5) Cardinals get crushed in the City of Angels
Chargers at Chiefs (-8.5) Chefs cook Chargers
And the turkey is in the litter box!
Bills (-6) at Raiders The Mafia controls Vegas
Think they had table games?
Sunday Dinner Time Cowboys at Packers (-1.5) Pokes prevail in the Ice Bowl rematch
Ice Bowl? Sounds cool
Monday Prowl Time Commanders at 49ers (-7.5) Purrrrdy swamps DC
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The Patriots red 1980s throwback uniforms are commonly called their “Pat Patriot” unis but the modern Flying Elvis mascot is still called Pat Patriot so technically their current unis are Pat Patriot too. Quite the conundrum.
Baseball truly is America’s game because it’s the only sport where sacrifices are built into the fabric of the game.
Well into October and Drake Maye still has some pretty good t-shirt tan lines going on his arms.
Are we supposed to say that some women at gyms don’t dress like whores?
Bad chirp.
I understand that several members of the 2001 Patriots left Gillette Stadium in tears thinking that Coach Belichick didn’t love them anymore because he didn’t send a video message.
Landman is the perfect name for a player who’s good at putting the ball on the ground.
I love how Ordway pats himself on the back as the reason WEEI was so popular when here’s the thing: all it was, was that there was no competition.
Would it kill her to go by Ann Maye?
I wish Bernie Brewer still slid into a mug of beer.
Cakes are cooking for Ralph Lauren, Billy Harrison, Justin Hayward, Dave Schultz, Katy Manning, Sheila Young Ochowicz, Marcia Barrett, Greg Evigan, Beth Daniel, Thomas Dolby, Isaac Mizrahi, Keith Byars, Lori Petty, Joe Girardi, Karyn White, Steve Coogan, Sylvain Lefebvre, Jim Jackson, Erika de Lone, Javon Walker, Usher, Jay Pharoah, and Jared Goff.
And there’s leftover cake in the break room from Bianca de la Garza’s birthday yesterday.
Brand new Garden floor this season. But tradition is important to the Celtics, so they’ve once again kept the bolts — even though they aren’t functional. (The boards fit together in sort of a tongue-and-groove manner.) The floor coating fills in the bolt gap, so it’s all smooth.
I think Greenwell tried to associate balding with wearing baseball hats.
Paul George is like a cat. He will jump in your lap every once in a while. He’s super lovable. Other times, you’re like, ‘Where’s Paul George?’ ‘Oh, he’s in the garage.’
Kelly Clarkson has put us all in danger.
Orange Line: Delays of about 20 minutes while personnel address a signal problem at Forest Hills. Trains may stand by at stations.
Ziegler, you’ve done it again!
Boystown is a throwback kind of place. I haven’t seen gaggles of gays in basic bars for a while.
Somebody cue up “Oklahoma! Where the wind comes right behind the rain.”
Source: UTEP over UTSA in a Secret Scrimmage.
RJ Mitte. Even Kendra mentioning the suicide hotline couldn’t stop him. Sad. RIP.
Honestly this Heat court, in the context of the rainbow going on everywhere else, is more Heat Culture than the literal “Heat Culture” court.
I was today years old when I learned what a scrimmage touchdown meant.
Pritch is back! Under contract for a two year extension!
George Lucas is upset that he didn’t think of Kindle Vildor as a Star Wars character name.
I’m not watching these Derrick White Pizza Shark commercials all season.
How many ‘K’s are there in Korn Ferry again?
Finally getting around to Ted Lasso’s newest season, and I can’t disagree more with the haters. It’s fine. It’s fun. It’s not meant to be an epic work of art. I will simply enjoy it.
The only person who cared more about a breakfast than Walt Jr. is Dan Shaughnessy.
Abby Chin did what Scal could never do… Disguise them titties in a flattering way.
Zolak didn’t have to make a Mazz apology? Weak.
Imagine being in eighth grade and your dad posts your school picture on Twitter for millions to see. And putting your kid’s picture on Twitter should be an automatic CPS visit.
I’m addicted to Bruins hockey and never sleeping more than 4 hours a night.
Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and mars
Any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Ooh, ooh love hurts.
Bill Simmons thinks robbing graves in the cemetery is called “cradle robbing”?
Honk if you remember Quiznos.
As the million dollar man ted dibasie said they don’t ask how they won..it’s who won.
Salmon Capistrano!
Good to see Dr. Pappas and the crack Red Sox medical staff didn’t see Garrett Whitlock had a broken leg.
Never listen to football takes from a guy who wears more mascara than Tyra Banks.
Luckily for the GSW fans Al Horford will be able to fill in a few times a month for the ailing Kristaps Porzingis.
Natural athletes heal faster than gritty ones.
Tucker Carlson thinks Glenn Ordway has a small pool of podcast guests.
Best bet for the weekend. Contented coachmen in the aftermath of The Head of the Charles Regatta.
Disgusting. The Patriots’ own website is counting how many beers Zolak is drinking during his segment with Vrabel.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, Old BSMW Friend Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Heartbreaker, soul shaker. I’ve been told about you.
And happy birthday to Czech supermodel Daniela Pestova.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! Congratulations again to Warren Dull’s Aunt! Going 12-3, she was one better that FC’s very respectable 11-4.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Eagles at Jaguars
Bengals at Dolphins
Vikings at Saints
Raiders at Patriots
Browns at Jets
Texans at Titans
Colts at Steelers
Giants at Commanders
Broncos at Chargers
Lions at Cardinals
Bears at Packers
49ers at Seahawks
Ravens at Falcons
Bills at Rams (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our fine group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Drake Maye’s Top 5 Conspiracy Theories: 5. Fumbles aren’t real 4. Chemtrails are creating atmospheric disturbances which are increasing the number of interceptions 3. Prolonged exposure to the electromagnetic field emanating from Robert Kraft’s surveillance bunker is weakening the soft tissue of the players 2. The real Bill Belichick is being held captive in the lighthouse while his clone is out damaging his legacy 1. Fluoridation caused Mike Vrabel to have a six year affair with Dianna Russini
I do not avoid women, Drake, but I do deny them my essence
Sunday Breakfast Time Eagles at Jaguars (-4.5) Spotted cats enjoy a win over a spot of tea
Yeah baby!
Sunday Lunch Time Bengals (-7.5) at Dolphins Stripey cats feast on fish
Look a catfish
Vikings (-1.5) at Saints Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints? Dey be the Vikings.
Raiders at Patriots (-3.5) Birds may not be real, but Drake Maye IS!
Safety first
Browns at Jets (-2.5) Brown out shuts down New York
Texans (-6.5) at Titans Texans top Tits
Texan tit top
Colts at Steelers (-2.5) Yinzy over Indy
Giants at Commanders (-3) Greek Giant skins Washington
I thought you said “green giant”
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos (-3.5) at Chargers Bolts shock Broncos
Lions (-5.5) at Cardinals Jungle Kings devour pretty red birds
Roar!
Bears (-2.5) at Packers Meatmen grind out a win
I am not a bear
49ers at Seahawks (-3) Fake Seabirds soar as Purrdy slumps in the perpetual rain of Seattle
Yet another miserable rainy day in Seattle
Sunday Prowl Time Ravens (-3.5) at Falcons Penix slaps the Scary Black Birds
Monday Prowl Time Bills at Rams (-2.5) Horny Sheep clip Hairy Cows
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Me crying at my TV screen saying, “you’re still him, Drake. You’re still HIM!“
Wow. 75 years now since Bobby Thomson’s home run. And how about Dave Winfield being born that very day?
Sources close to Lane Johnson said he’s retiring to spend time around “fewer Italians.”
Wow, CBS fired Romo. He should go to Barstool and paint his face with Mut.
Celtics tickets for this coming season are flying off the proverbial shelf as usual.
I love that the Brewers’ pitching coach is named Chris Hook.
Usually I prefer nacho cheese Doritos but sometimes cool ranch hits the spot.
The Red Sox might as well be the pallbearers at my funeral…until my last breath they will let me down.
I hate Ross Tucker’s big, dumb voice. He has a ‘fat kid in middle school’ voice.
Cakes are cooking for Kevin Godley, John Mellencamp, Ricky Phillips, Tico Torres, Yo-Yo Ma, Brian Sutter, Jayne Torvill, Judy Landers, Simon Cowell, Toni Braxton, Thom Yorke, Malia Hosaka, Johnnie Morton, Priest Holmes, Allison Munn, Shannon MacMillan, Charles Woodson, Taylor Hicks, Nathaniel Rateliff, Aaron Ashmore, Shawn Ashmore, Jake McLaughlin, Evan Longoria, Lee Nguyen, Mookie Betts, and Lewis Capaldi.
Putting on my best Carhartt polo to support my rape-victim friend.
That Patriots-Bills game was totally wild. It’s Ryan Murphy show level with bizarre occurrences.
My X account has been blocked by Dan Bongino and Martina Navratilova…
This weekend has all the potential for AC and heat in the same 24 hours. Mark my words.
Red Line Update: The delay has cleared.
Hey gang with their steamer trunks covered in destination stickers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “For a guy that’s been on eight teams in four years? I mean, I guess he knows the drill.”
You ever have a morning where you’re so tired that you pour your granola into your coffee?
I’m all set with the Teddy Swims White Claw commercials.
RIP Sam McDowell. I love Pat Jordan’s immortal line, sayin’ that McDowell’s pre-game warm-up sounded like “a small thunderstorm in the bullpen.”
Yankee fans must lead the league in backwards hat wearing.
I love how the NFL stadiums have the security stand on the sidelines facing the crowd, having no clue that people are about to fly into you and shred your knee.
Every time I see Chase Meidroth, I read it as ‘Cla Meredith.’
Tyquan Thornton…… oh man.
Look, there’s a lot of shit content out there. Hard to rise above the rest enough to get me to double take, but this vampire sitcom on CBS has done it.
Lots of bodegas in Weymouth, presumably.
Dondero is really the ultimate evolution of Felgerism. Just the extreme fluctuations of takes without any regard for what he said last week or even yesterday.
Or put another way, success is going from wild ass take to wild ass take without losing enthusiasm.
Hey buddy go bang a harlot and bother someone else or I will make sure X puts you in a corner.
Roger Goodell’s earned a lot of criticism, but keeping ads off game uniforms is one of the few things for which he deserves massive kudos.
What makes you sad, what makes you blue? I’m all in rags with nothing to lose We could traverse and find a way through Land in the grass and start acting like fools.
You’re a prisoner by day Is that what you choose? Stand in the water, baby It’ll get you through tonight.
I would contribute to a GoFundMe for New Hampshire to get its own network TV affiliates so we wouldn’t have to watch election commercials for candidates we can’t vote for/against.
Sam Yarnell needs to boost his follower count, playboi.
Colson Yankoff, a TE and former 4-star high school QB, is now the emergency QB for Washington.
Honk if you remember Grossman’s.
Seeing Jaylen as a Sixer has pee pee river man Greenie losing control of all his bodily functions.
Hardy has burn-victim mouth.
One time on vacation I went to some butterfly reserve on the Dutch part of Saint Maarten. Asked them if they liked the band Crazy Town. They had no idea what I was talking about.
Do you think if more people in the Red Sox front office had played Horizon Zero Dawn they would have left Sonny Gray stay in and finish the inning?
Every loser crying about McDaniels was the same sack of shit up in the 300s back in the day that would cry when he’d run a draw on passing downs.
Best bet for the weekend: putting up the storm windows & taking in the potted plants and Christopher Columbus statues.
We’ll leave a saucer of milk out for you.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, Joe Posnanski, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.My heart was breaking, hands are shaking Bugs are crawling all over me.
Nobody will mistake Rhamondre Stevenson for Kevin Faulk*. On any given Sunday, he might make you want to throw your remote straight through your television screen. Yet, when you step back from what he is not, you can begin to appreciate what he is—and where he will ultimately land in Patriots history. He carries the dubious honor of being that rare breed of NFL player who is completely indispensable, yet seemingly contextually unloved by the very fans who rely on him. Every Sunday, I watch the Patriots and mutter the exact same sentence to myself: “I don’t think Rhamondre has any legs left.”
He is akin to a diesel engine that refuses to die in a Foxborough winter. He isn’t on the field because he runs like Corey Dillon, and he certainly isn’t there because he possesses the historic ball security of BenJarvis Green-Ellis. Instead, he has survived multiple coaching and front-office changes because he is a quiet, reliable veteran who can pass-block with the absolute best at his position.
Mondre is essentially a perpetually loading screen. Every start to a season, his stats look completely paltry, prompting the immediate thought that his time in New England is up. Then, poof! The efficiency metrics magically turn respectable by the end of the regular season, and he finds his way right back onto the roster next autumn.
Take a look at how he starts every year when players of his caliber should theoretically be at their freshest. Instead, what should be his peak routinely acts as his statistical nadir. Four games into 2026, he is right on script-
Just for comparison’s sake, let us invoke the immortal Emmitt Smith. Specifically, his Arizona Cardinals era. In 2003, Smith finished his second-to-last NFL campaign with 90 carries, 256 rushing yards, 2 TDs, and a brutal 2.8 yards per attempt.
In short: every September, Rhamondre partakes in Halloween early, dressing up as a washed-up legend before completely turning the ship around in the winter.
Meanwhile, he continues to quietly compile milestones. By pushing his career totals to 5,105 scrimmage yards, he has climbed to 13th in team history. Furthermore, by punching in his 29th career rushing touchdown during an upset 29-26 win on the road against Buffalo (Stevenson compiled 47 yards on 13 rush attempts, a TD, a two-point conversion, and added 3 catches for 27 yards), he officially tied the aforementioned “Law Firm” for 10th all-time in franchise history. He’s funny like that.
There is a definitive reason why Bill Belichick loved him, and why the current regime deemed him worthy of a long-term anchor. As Belichick noted back in 2022: “He’s had a couple of really good plays in pass protection. James White-level plays. Seeing things, making adjustments, that kind of thing. He’s been a big help for us in that area of the game, whether it’s been blitz pickup, flare control, catching the ball, all of the above.” Spulpit Link
I call him Mondre, he calls me Vin. Or he would, if he knew me.
The tape matches the praise. Last year, Mondre posted a stellar 69.9 pass-blocking grade from Pro Football Focus, ranking him comfortably 5th in the entire league among qualifying backs. In stark contrast, TreVeyon Henderson’s pass blocking graded out at a brutal 30.7—ranking 62nd out of 63 qualifiers. Ironically, Henderson was highly touted for his blocking pedigree coming out of Ohio State, but the pro game has proven difficult for the young back to grasp.
Mondre is essentially an offensive lineman masquerading as a running back. He absorbs the heaviest, ugliest blows on the roster, which naturally stunts his ability to break off high-efficiency runs. Yet, the team must keep feeding him to maintain a semblance of offensive unpredictability that they simply do not possess with Henderson on the field. With Mike Onwenu out for the year, Mondre faces a grueling season that has barely even begun.
That is why his late-game knee injury against Buffalo should spark immediate concern. While his absence nominally means the higher-upside Henderson will see more action, it also means the offense has lost the only viable blocker who poses a threat as a ball carrier. Drake Maye will be highly vulnerable against the Raiders if Stevenson cannot suit up. A New England running game that was already resting inside a coffin will be lowered directly into the ground if the only remaining options are Henderson—who can run but cannot block—and fullback Reggie Gilliam—who can block but cannot run.
This article is now scaring me!
Four games in, the Patriots have already gotten more than they bargained for. Sitting at 2-2, they face winnable but highly dangerous matchups over the next two weeks against Las Vegas and New York. They are walking a tightrope that gets increasingly thinner as the injury report grows correspondingly thicker.
*- Maybe Tony Massarotti.
Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.
The calendars may gave flipped to October, but our top scientists at CoCoRaHSS have discovered a strange atmospheric phenomenon, emanating out of One Patriot Place, resulting in all of New England being transported back to Mid-Maye!
Mid-Maye
The “Community Collaborative Rain, Hail, Snow and Suck Network”, more commonly known as CoCoRaHSS (pronounced KO-ko-rozzzzzzz), is a grassroots volunteer network of backyard football/weather observers of all ages and backgrounds, working together to map precipitation and piss poor quarterbacking in their local communities.
Sunday Lu̶n̶c̶h̶SecondBreakfast Time Colts (-3) at Commanders Indianapolis Jones skins Commies
Commies… I hate those guys
Jets at Bears (-3) Da Bears scramble the Jets
Titans at Ravens (-11.5) Tits may be ass
Gluteus Catsimus
Packers (-3.5) at Buccaneers Green topples Tampa in the “Battle of the Bays”
Patriots at Bills (-6.5) Bills batter Bledsoe 2.0
Drew Bledsoe but with an extra chromosome
Jaguars at Bengals (-2.5) Spots over Stripes
It’s advanced fashion, you wouldn’t understand
Cardinals (-1) at Giants Due to Jaxson’s injury, Brother Jim told Brother John to get JJ to back up Jamesis. J-Men win!
Rams (-2) at Eagles American Birds soar over road weary Rams
Cowboys at Texans (-2.5) Houston has too many problems
Félicette made it back alive, suck it Laika
Sunday Dinner Time Dolphins at Vikings (-10) With Arch Manning in Miami and Dante Moore with the Jets, in 6 months the Patriots may have the worst QB in the division. Minni over Miami.
Chargers at Seahawks (-6.5) Fake Seabirds make Brother Jim wish he had traded for JJ McCarthy
Chiefs (-4.5) at Raiders The Autumn Wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He’ll knock you ’round and upside down, and laugh when he’s conquered and won… but not this time!
Autumn wind? Sounds chilly
Broncos at 49ers (-3) Bucking Billies struggle at sea level
Sunday Prowl Time Lions (-3.5) at Panthers Black Cats dethrone Jungle Kings
Monday Prowl Time Falcons at Saints (-2.5) In a stunning reversal, Popes penetrate Penix
Please your Holiness, no more Penix
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! And prizes were won! Congratulations to the two winners! Football Cat’s usually dependable intuition was doubtless affected by the humidity from the nor’easter.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. Usually. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Colts at Commanders
Jets at Bears
Jaguars at Bengals
Cardinals at Giants
Rams at Eagles
Packers at Buccaneers
Patriots at Bills
Titans at Ravens
Cowboys at Texans
Dolphins at Vikings
Chiefs at Raiders
Broncos at 49ers
Chargers at Seahawks
Lions at Panthers
Falcons at Saints (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our classy group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!