FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE —
Following the passing of Boston sports legend, Bill Russell, many of you may have noticed the disgusting attempts by certain notorious local ghouls to profiteer off of his death by leveraging the grief that we all feel into gains for their personal media brand. We have noticed this as well, and with high degree of distress.
After prayerful thought and in heeding the advisement of our counsel, we have settled our pending litigation with Vernon Dozier and re-installed him as our multi-sport beat writer effective immediately.
We now recognize that his extensive reporting about one Shukri Wrights was in fact correct, and admit that Mr. Dozier’s termination was indeed wrongful. We are pleased that rights can be wronged and fences mended in this case. Mr. Wrights’ attention seeking behavior over the past 24 hours has been deplorable, and perfectly fits the pattern that Vernon Dozier so painstakingly laid out previously. Shukri wandered around the city of Boston looking for cameras during a time that called for introspection. He made a video comparing himself to Bill Russell on a day where dropping our ego to venerate the greatness we just lost should’ve been the order of the day. We now stand by that prior reporting and blindly vouch for what he’ll continue to unearth in the future about this and other topics.
Vernon, welcome home.
— Steve Bosell, Managing Editor
I am pleased to reunite with my family at The15. Some harsh words have been exchanged in the last few months, but no bridges burned. No lasting harm done.
This kind of reconciliation is really not all that uncommon when you think about it in sports terms. For example, sometimes baseball teams trade away players in the final year of their contract, and then bring that player back via free agency following the season.
I’m willing to be at the bottom again, to earn back my readership. I’m a team player and will do whatever is needed of me to win. A switch hitter, to borrow another example from my beloved baseball. It’s great to be docking with you all again on this beautiful pirate ship. But pirates sail, and we will embark again amidst a sea of subpar sports media. We will be cruising again in no time.
It’s very gratifying to have my reporting completely vindicated. I pledge to continue to give my readers the unassailable truth.