The calendars may gave flipped to October, but our top scientists at CoCoRaHSS have discovered a strange atmospheric phenomenon, emanating out of One Patriot Place, resulting in all of New England being transported back to Mid-Maye!
Mid-Maye
The “Community Collaborative Rain, Hail, Snow and Suck Network”, more commonly known as CoCoRaHSS (pronounced KO-ko-rozzzzzzz), is a grassroots volunteer network of backyard football/weather observers of all ages and backgrounds, working together to map precipitation and piss poor quarterbacking in their local communities.
Sunday Lunch Time Colts (-3) at Commanders Indianapolis Jones skins Commies
Commies… I hate those guys
Jets at Bears (-3) Da Bears scramble the Jets
Titans at Ravens (-11.5) Tits may be ass
Gluteus Catsimus
Packers (-3.5) at Buccaneers Green topples Tampa in the “Battle of the Bays”
Patriots at Bills (-6.5) Bills batter Bledsoe 2.0
Drew Bledsoe but with an extra chromosome
Jaguars at Bengals (-2.5) Spots over Stripes
It’s advanced fashion, you wouldn’t understand
Cardinals (-1) at Giants Due to Jaxson’s injury, Brother Jim told Brother John to get JJ to back up Jamesis. J-Men win!
Rams (-2) at Eagles American Birds soar over road weary Rams
Cowboys at Texans (-2.5) Houston has too many problems
Félicette made it back alive, suck it Laika
Sunday Dinner Time Dolphins at Vikings (-10) With Arch Manning in Miami and Dante Moore with the Jets, in 6 months the Patriots may have the worst QB in the division. Minni over Miami.
Chargers at Seahawks (-6.5) Fake Seabirds make Brother Jim wish he had traded for JJ McCarthy
Chiefs (-4.5) at Raiders The Autumn Wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He’ll knock you ’round and upside down, and laugh when he’s conquered and won… but not this time!
Autumn wind? Sounds chilly
Broncos at 49ers (-3) Bucking Billies struggle at sea level
Sunday Prowl Time Lions (-3.5) at Panthers Black Cats dethrone Jungle Kings
Monday Prowl Time Falcons at Saints (-2.5) In a stunning reversal, Popes penetrate Penix
Please your Holiness, no more Penix
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! But so far, the best anyone has done is eked out a tie! Insufficient!
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
You should try and win prizes.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Chargers at Bills
Panthers at Browns
Texans at Colts
Jets at Lions
Patriots at Jaguars
Chiefs at Dolphins
Titans at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Seahawks at Commanders
Cardinals at 49ers
Vikings at Buccaneers
Raiders at Saints
Ravens at Cowboys
Rams at Broncos
Eagles at Bears (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our autumnal group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
And good luck to all our contestants!
It’s like I’m in Blade Runner, or Wobey Mike’s idea of Seattle.
A statement for immediate release from New England Patriots and Gillette Stadium Owner Robert Kraft…
🚨 LOCAL MUSICIANS WANTED 🚨
Are you looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?
Do you possess an instrument, a pulse, and absolutely zero financial ambitions?
Do you know how to keep your opinions to yourself?
Brilliant! Because we have the perfect opportunity for YOU! We are putting together a band to open for legendary singer songwriter and all around mensch, Mr. Ed Sheeran on September 25th and 26th. Our previously booked act, a highly unprofessional meshugener schmuck, tragically canceled on us. That putz’s loss is your golden opportunity!
What We Offer Unparalleled Exposure: Play for a stadium full of people that was expecting someone else entirely! The Thrill of the Rescue: Bask in the heroic glory of saving our event from absolute disaster. Complimentary Air: Breathe all the ambient oxygen you want while on stage. Free Refreshments: A half-empty cooler of lukewarm Gatorade awaits you backstage, plus one (1) complimentary bologna sandwich after your performance is complete. (NOTE: The sandwich will only be available on night two.)
What We Need Anyone who can carry a tune, hold a beat, or at least look convincing pretending to do so. Someone with absolutely no opinions on anything, especially regarding an obscure ongoing minor dispute in the Middle East. A performer with a deep, spiritual understanding that “art is its own reward” – because you won’t be getting paid.
If this sounds like you, please bring your gear and your talent down to One Patriot Place. We will supply the mandatory blue square pin.
Don’t mention Paw-listine
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers (-1.5) at Falcons Black Cats pounce on predators
Vikings at Bears (-5.5) Bears knockout Norsemen
Bengals at Texans (-3) Stripey Cats give Houston problems
Steelers at Patriots (-5.5) Kraft bans Qanon Rodgers from preforming at Gillette
Fire up the space laser
Packers (-4) at Jets Meatmen grind up Gotham
Don’t try this at home
Eagles (-7) at Titans American birds top Tits
Did someone say American tit top?
Saints at Ravens (-8.5) Scary Black Birds martyr Saints
Browns at Buccaneers (-8.5) Bucs bake Brownies
Elf on the baking shelf
Sunday Dinner Time Jaguars at Broncos (-3) Spotty cats love high places
Raiders at Chargers (-7) Plugs turn out Vegas lights
Seahawks (-4.5) at Cardinals Fake Seabirds swarm pretty red birds
Commanders at Cowboys (-3.5) Cowboys master Commanders
Dolphins at 49ers (-12.5) Prospectors fry fish
Sunday Prowl Time Colts at Chiefs (-6.5) Watch out Men of Czonka, 17-0 is still on the table
Don’t go popping that champagne just yet
Monday Prowl Time Giants at Rams (-7) Horny sheep gore G-men
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Mainstream CFB writers being introduced to a BB team winning a rock fight is delightful. And 15-10 is like a perfect Belichick win. Pisses off exactly all the right people.
All these trust fund kids circle jerking over how little they made in their useless media jobs isn’t at all triggering.
They weren’t booing Páez, they were still cheering on Woo!
In the back of my mind I thought the Pro Bowl had been eliminated years ago.
Dolly held the exact same social and political views as me!
I’m not going to be used as a pawn as the two sides piss at each other. If a deal isn’t done by September 9th, then I’ll be livid.
Derek Jeter did not “dive into the stands” to catch a ball. He made a nice running catch in the playing field, and his momentum carried him into the stands. Nice play, but not heroic.
I don’t even know what Good Good is other than redundant.
Note to broadcasters especially in MLB. Please call players by their last names and not their first. Its Rafaela not Cedanne. The trend started years ago and it isn’t a good one.
Since Boston doesn’t have a WNBA team yet, I’ve adopted Golden State as my team strictly because of Veronica Burton. The Valkyries won their third straight last night, and @Veronicaab22 had 13 assists and 0 turnovers. She has 29 assists and 1 turnover during the win streak.
Apropos of nothing, I hope Corey Kiner gets a locker in the corner of the locker room, so we can all call it Kiner’s Korner. #iykyk
Cakes are cooking for Peter Ueberroth, Mary Jo Catlett, Harry Northup, Rosalind Ashford, Nate Archibald, Terry Bradshaw, Rosanna DeSoto, Mark Harmon, Jimmy Connors, Linda Purl, Mario Tremblay, Steve Porcaro, Eric Dickerson, John S. Hall, Jeff Russell, Keanu Reeves, Lenox Lewis, Cynthia Watros, Rich Aurilia, Jason Hammel, Rachael Gunn, and Brandon Ingram.
No one ever talks about how heavily accordion is featured in Mexican music.
The people who hate seeing Kirk Herbstreit’s dog on TV are the same people who drive 5 mph under the speed limit in the left lane. You can’t convince me otherwise.
Hey, didja all hear about this guy who pretended to be a 49ers player? Haven’t seen many people talking about it. Crazy stuff, huh?
Red Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier signal problem at Harvard.
I’m sorry but being a WAG is not being a woman in sports.
Omg seriously what is in Mickey’s crotch?
If I wanted to watch sweaty men dance in tight attire, I’d attend a Chippendales show rather than a Savannah Bananas game.
Dad is never using Venmo. You cannot make him.
Yesterday was “rentree” in France, a massive day. ALL of the schools are back in session Mayors and principals were interviewed on television.
Team Gaga btw. Madonna can kick rocks.
The Red Sox fill-in play-by-play guy on radio tonight sounds like Pablo Torre after 1.5 martinis, and I can’t shake it. But excited for the Clippers dirt he’ll have for the 7th inning stretch.
Where does one even acquire an Anduril hat?
The play made by Monasterio is ruled a catch against any other team. fact, not opinion.
Lucy go for a walk or something in Boston we boo if you stink up the joint you don’t like it move to Mars.
Can Elon ban all Barstool-related content? Every video I see is like “Oh man, Scuzzy and Grunch were going at it in the Chicago office today. Apparently one of them hooked up with Kacey Jugzzz at Dave & Buster’s last night? Super crazy. I’m glad Fat Tits Snapback Guy was recording.”
Hey gang of finger lickers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Black buns and mashed potatoes sounds like something I’m not going to image search.”
I hope Jedixson Páez pitches on Section 10 Night.
Feels like I can’t make fun of the Clancy women anymore when there’s a large chunk of dudes convinced Sandusky is innocent.
Well, I hope MLB brings back protesting a game after the lockout season!
Thinking of that fat fucking cvnt Lifshatz calling people retards as his neck fat jiggles from typing is hilarious.
GTA 6 players will need to learn how to maintain a relationship, according to IGN. Don’t you play video games so you don’t have to go shopping with your wife?
I love the Mickey Gasper story as much as the next guy, but I draw the line at “Hey Mickey you’re so fine”
Greg you couldn’t be more wrong about this sub shop take you have in the oven and the Italian subs and all that nonsense.
I’ve found a home with writing haikus. The requirements are oddly helpful.
Bright eyes full of dreams, Laughter ringing through the air, Shining proud and free.
Lol you ever looked into toilet paper? If you aren’t using bamboo by now….yikes.
I bet Mike Mussina knows what day this is. I sure do.
Love her, but Heidi Watney should uncinch the screws holding her face back a couple of turns.
A Bill hasn’t defeated Dykes like that since DOMA back in ‘96.
You can tell someone is a football expert when they list a team’s schedule by the quarterbacks they’re going to play.
What time do they lock the Coliseum they got there in Rome for the night?
After a few hours of searching the house (detachable penis) And calling everyone I could think of I was starting to get very depressed (detachable penis) So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast
Then as I walked down Second Avenue Towards St. Mark’s place where (detachable penis) All those people sell used books and other junk on the street I saw my penis lying on a blanket (detachable penis) Next to a broken toaster oven Some guy was selling it (detachable penis) I had to buy it off him, he wanted 22 bucks (detachable penis) But I talked him down to $17.
People sure do demand a lot of decorum from a sport where it’s commonplace to gnaw on a wad of tobacco.
What a needy prick Giardi is. Really.
What if Good Good Golf re-shoots the ad but it’s RA getting shoved to the ground?
Rule 5 is usually a synonym for a bum.
Pro Tip: Ham sandwiches get indicted, not North Shore three-way beefs.
Honk if you remember The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon.
I know more about cards than 99.9% of people who own cards. I’ve covered cards for 26 years.
Lomu…..Latu…..Latu….Lomu.
Doesn’t every single gambling ad read on The Ringer end with “must be 21 and present”?
Turn off your radios numrods.
Jamai Webster still occasionally starts a question that he has no idea how to finish.
It’s my favorite time of year. BC could go undefeated!
Best bet for the weekend: buying 7 dozen eggs and 4 gallons of milk.
Take their picks! All of them!! (N.B. Kansas City won this Week 14, 2019 game 23-16, with Butker 3-3 on field goals, 2-2 on extra points.)
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, BSMW Old Friend Humphrey, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.We’re dancing in the streets.
And Happy Birthday to Mexican actress Salma Hayek.
Little was expected from North Carolina as they entered Ireland to play the TCU Horned Frogs in the season opener—the same team that thrashed them 48-14 and set the Tar Heels on a path of endless ridicule. Revenge never tasted so sweet, as Bill Belichick and his boys white-knuckled a 15-10 win. What makes this moment sweeter for a Belichick fan such as myself is the sense of how hard the team worked the entire offseason just to put their best foot forward. The roster turnover was jaw-dropping in its magnitude, akin to selectively thinning a forest to burn away the smaller, weaker underbrush and dead wood.
UNC introduced 59 new players to the squad this offseason, including 19 transfers and 40 first-year players. Meanwhile, 31 players departed through the transfer portal alongside standard graduations. Most of the team is made up of underclassmen, which hopefully signals the job security Belichick has for this season and the next as he develops them into effective juniors and seniors.
If you can’t stand the heat, get rid of the Kitchens.
On top of that, Belichick brought in Bobby Petrino to replace Freddie Kitchens. It’s too early to say whether UNC will improve from their dastardly, last-place mark in the ACC offensively from the year before. But his coaching, fused with the new crop of players led by 23-year-old journeyman Billy Edwards Jr., breathed fresh air into the system. The stat sheet was not lit up with gaudy numbers. But playing nearly error-free football on a sloppy field, combined with a modest 16-of-28 passing performance and 232 yards, is a hell of an improvement. Petrino was brought in to implement a balanced, pro-style offense mirroring the system Belichick ran in New England. So far the marriage has worked out well—and dare I say, it breeds confidence going forward.
But as Belichick says, coaches lose games; players win them. You’d be hard-pressed to find positive performances from UNC last season, especially on offense. The defensive side yielded hard-nosed, gritty efforts that typically went unnoticed. The only player on offense I can think of who left a mark on me from last year was running back Demon June (today he ran for 25 yards on 6 rushes), who now shares backfield duties with Benjamin Hall (11 carries, 36 yards) and Jaylen McGill (5 rushes for 33 yards and UNC’s lone touchdown).
But let us start by exalting the defense. Xavier Lewis served as UNC’s wrecking ball on the interior, dismantling TCU’s blocking and racking up 2 sacks and 4.5 tackles for loss on his own. Coincidentally, Lewis was one of Bill’s first recruits. Linebacker Derek McDonald led the entire team in total production. He clogged the running lanes all afternoon, securing a team-high 9 tackles. Defensive lineman Jaylen Harvey provided excellent edge containment and registered 5 combined tackles.
TCU did not score a single point in the second half. While everyone rushes to blame Sonny Dykes and try to place him on the hot seat, we should keep in mind this is a TCU team that won 9 games the last two seasons. They are a good program, and beating them is no small feat. Offensively, just by staring at the team stats you get a sense of how quietly UNC dominated TCU: 322 total yards to their opponents’ 281; 5.6 yards per play to their even 4. UNC committed just 3 penalties to TCU’s 11.
The team might have a legitimate weapon at tight end in Jelani Thurmond, who caught 4 passes for 94 yards, including an explosive 35-yard catch to ignite the Tar Heels’ opening scoring drive. Jordan Shipp went into the game expected to be Edwards’ most sure-handed receiver and lived up to the expectations, snagging 5 catches for 71 yards.
Overall, a solid opening for UNC hoping to wash away the bitter taste of last season 4-8 record. There’s a lot of work to be done; bumps in the road are surely to be expected. Progress is typically nonlinear. But as of now, the sky appears less filled with doom and gloom.
Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.
the15net.com Hires Warren Dull as World Cup Correspondent
Boston, MA – 07/16/2026 – the15net.com, the independent Boston sports news collaborative dedicated to sharp analysis and cutting through the noise on local teams, is proud to announce the hiring of @Warren_Dull (Pierre Nightmare) as its new 2030 FIFA World Cup correspondent.
In this role, Warren Dull will provide on-the-ground insights, match coverage, tactical breakdowns, player profiles, and fan perspectives from the world’s biggest soccer tournament. His reporting will bring a fresh, no-holds-barred voice to the15net.com’s growing audience of passionate sports fans. “We’re excited to expand our coverage beyond the core Boston teams and into global soccer with someone who brings a unique edge and perspective,” said Steve Bosell, Managing Editor of The15Net dot com,. “Warren Dull ’s voice aligns perfectly with The15’s mission to deliver honest, entertaining, and hype-free sports content. World Cup season is heating up, and we can’t wait for fans to see what he delivers.”
Mr. Dull added: “I’m thrilled to join the team at 15net.com and bring World Cup coverage to Boston sports fans who appreciate straight talk and deep dives. Whether it’s the drama on the pitch or the stories behind the teams, I’ll be there in 2030 to cut through the noise—just like The15 does every day with the Pats, Sox, Celtics, Bruins, and Free Jacks. Hashtag LOL.” Coverage is expected to ramp up in the lead-up to and throughout the tournament, with articles, analysis, and updates appearing regularly on the15net.com.
— Steve Bosell
Managing Editor, The 15 Net
Steve Bosell has been Managing Editor of The 15 Net since fall 2012. He resides in Lynn, MA with his wife and three children.
About the15net.com The15 are a news-gathering local collaborative of concerned citizens designed to combat hottakes, specifically as it pertains to Boston sports. Focused on the Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, and beyond, 15net.com delivers thoughtful analysis, columns, and commentary from writers who live and breathe New England sports.
The Patriots are back in the Super Bowl for the 12th time in the past 41years. For all you non-math majors out there, that equates to 29.3% of the time. Not bad for a franchise that used to play in a Zayre’s parking lot back in the AFL days.
No metal bleachers
The Patriots have now been to 4 more Super Bowls than any other team, with an overall record of 6-5 heading into Sunday’s game. If they win, they will break a tie with the Steelers for the most wins in Super Bowl history. If they lose, they will break a tie with the Broncos for most losses in Super Bowl history. So win or lose they are guaranteed to make history. We here at Football Cat World Headquarters just hope everyone has fun!
Nothing is more fun than winning!
Speaking of fun, here is a fun fact: Sam Darnold is 0-4 against the Patriots in his career, three losses with the Jets and one with the Panthers. He has thrown 1 touchdown and 9 interceptions, with a combined passer rating of 41.2. The Patriots are the monkey in Sam Darnold’s wrench.
Are YOU really going to lose to Sam Darnold?
And as we head into the long off season, remember Tom Brady may hate you but Football Cat loves you. See you in September.
Sunday Dinner Time Seahawks (-4.5) at Patriots Fake Seabids can’t exorcise these ghosts. Drake Maye IS!
You go girl!
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Not only do we have an AFC Championship game to look forward to on Sunday, but we also have the storm of the century bearing down on our beloved six state region, yes even Rhode Island. How much snow will YOU get? Well, that depends on many factors: how close to the benchmark the storm is, where does any banding set up, what is the QPF and how much love you have in your heart.
My heart isn’t in it
And before you rush out to the stores to stock up on bread and milk, remember these wise words: “Look, I’m not saying I could do it better than them. I’m just saying they’re wrong a lot. That’s a fact. They’re wrong a lot. We all make mistakes. I’m not being critical of them, I’m just saying I don’t think you can go based on that. My experience of going with the forecast in this area two days before the game, I mean I’d bet a lot that they’re wrong, just based on history because they’re almost always wrong. An hour before the game, maybe. You might have something to work with there. I think if you start game planning for what the weather is going to be and you game plan wrong, you’ve wasted a lot of time.” – Bill Belichick, October 31, 2014
14 day forecast?!?!?!
Sunday Early Dinner Time Patriots (-4.5) at Broncos Patriots bust Broncos
He’s comfortable at altitude
Sunday Late Dinner Time Rams at Seahawks (-2.5) Horny Sheep spook Darnold
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
It’s been a fun week basking in the glory of the first Patriots playoff win since Super Bowl LIII, but now it’s time to focus on the next opponent, the Houston Texans. What better way to break it all down, than a Dan Shaughnessy style look at how each team’s respective home town matches up with the other.
A football cat
Houston has the Johnson Space Center. Foxborough has the Gillette Stadium Lighthouse. Advantage:Patriots
The landlocked lighthouse is much more impressive
Well there you have it, bet your kid’s college tuition on the home team and thank us later
Saturday Dinner Time Bills at Broncos (-1.5) Buffalo sauces Nix
Buffalo are right at home in Denver
Saturday Prowl Time 49ers at Seahawks (-7) Fake Seabirds rain on Purrrdy’s parade
Someone left the cat out in the rain
Sunday Early Dinner Time Texans at Patriots (-3) As that great Patriot, Patrick Star once opined: “The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb old stupid Texas! “
SpongeBob had it fisrt
Sunday Late Dinner Time Rams (-3.5) at Bears Horny sheep bang da’ Bears
This is why all Bears fans support two teams
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
