Smart shoppers are avoiding the crowds by visiting the official the15net.com store to pick up their official the15net.com merchandise. It’s what all the cool people will be wearing to the office Christmas party. And who doesn’t want to be cool?
Q: Who could ever look cooler than these Fonzies
A: These two heartbreakers
Sunday Lunch Time Rams (-10) at Panthers Horny sheep skin black cats
49ers (-4.5) at Browns Prospectors fry Colonel Sanders
It takes a tough cat to make a tender bird
Texans at Colts (-4.5) Indianapolis Jones whips Houston
Saints at Dolphins (-5.5) Tua’s Dolphins dunk tanking Saints
He’s not called Coach Drip for nothing
Falcons (-2.5) at Jets Birds of Prey soar over sputtering Jets
Cardinals at Buccaneers (-2.5) Pretty Red Birds fly past Bucs
Jaguars (-6.5) at Titans Spotted cats top Tits
Did someone say “jaguar tit top”? EDITOR’S NOTE: These are leopard spots, not jaguar spots. We regret the error.
Sunday Dinner Time Vikings at Seahawks (-11.5) Sam Darnold haunts Vikings
Raiders at Chargers (-10) Bolts put out Vegas’ lights
You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in white
Bills (-3.5) at Steelers Buffalo wings Yinzers
Sunday Prowl Time Broncos (-6) at Commanders Rested Broncos bust Commies
Monday Prowl Time Giants at Patriots (-7.5) Pats head to the bye on a high
You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in blue
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.
Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale): Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”. 4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷
That will do pig
Thanksgiving early eaters time Packers at Lions (-2.5) Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads
Thanksgiving late eaters time Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys Squantos feast on the Pilgrims
Thanksgiving overeaters time Bengals at Ravens (-7) Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys
Black Friday Afternoon Nap time Bears at Eagles (-7) Birds bully Bears
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Man. Quoting Cam Newton in Ebonics is a rough look.
I’m no computer nerd, but the best way to avoid B*arstool tweets probably isn’t throwing a banana cream pie at their clown car.
Mazzulla is always visibly fuming when Drew Carter does the pre-game interview.
Kirk is taking Mut not knowing what a sitcom is really hard.
I wonder if Dianna Russini has thoughts about the Olivia Nuzzi revelations.
Being able to move on from your playing days is a skill.
I was just thinking, is Barstool ready for what they’ve started? No one messes with Hardy and Sarge’s crew and gets away it.
Coed adult cheerleading team?
Red Sox now have a new catcher, but only one bullpen lefty. Concerning.
Cakes are cooking for Ted Turner, Eddie Raynor, Calvin Klein, Dennis Hull, Bob Boone, Ahmad Rashad, Robert Beltran, Kathleen Quinlan, Ann Curry, Charlie Kaufman, Michael Wilbon, Alison Janney, Grant Ledyard, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Terry Farrell, Paul Weitz, Gail Devers, Rocco DiSpirito, Gary Disarcina, Justin Chancellor, Jeremy McGrath, Savion Glover, Jack Dorsey, Kerri Strug, Ryan Howard, Adam Driver, and Patrick Kane.
Little known fact: The viceroy and roy aren’t constitutionally allowed to fly on the same airplane.
I had a Pop-Tart and feel disgusting.
Never in NFL history has a backup QB come into a game and used it as the launchpad for a successful career.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Editorial discretion.”
Meanwhile, the phrase that never pays to say is and remains, “May I meet you?”
The NFL is better when the Jaguars are good.
Stan Musial: 1815 home hits. I815 road hits. As the Ol’ Perfessor would say, “You can look it up.”
One might say Kenni’s about to grow into an allergy… of getting owned.
Aaron Glenn looks like the leader of a slave rebellion.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Surely this Kendra humiliation will cut through all the squids telling her how great she is.
“Blue-collar chip on shoulder guy” is a top 5 annoying personality type.
Robert appearing to be half a head taller than Gronk thanks to his booster seat is ridiculous.
Kirk Herbstreit’s job at this point is just humoring doddering old men while they prattle on about bullshit from 30 years ago. “Oh, really, Hartford? Wow, crazy.”
If Gresh blocked at URI like he does on Twitter he would’ve been drafted.
Does Pete Carroll have a legacy and is it in flames?
John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio at Survivor Series would absolutely slap.
YOU were in a rock fight with the Jets, caller!
Normally you had to pay admission to one of Portnoy’s old Barstool foam parties to get that level of abused.
Have any of the radio stations gone to all-Thanksgiving music yet?
Honk if you remember Briff.
Rewatching the Patriots game and it brought up a random thought. I really miss the bond you get from being on a team. I miss that team camaraderie. Nothing like it. Anyone else miss it? Let us know in the comments.
Now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness In order to shield my pride, I’ve tried to cover this hurt with a show of gladness But don’t let my show convince you That I’ve been happy since you decided to go (why did you go?) Oh, I need you so (I need you so) I’m hurt and I want you to know (want you to know) But for others I put on a show (it’s just a show)
Ooh ah, there’s some sad things known to man But there ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown When there’s no one around, oh yeah
Mais non, cher, from what I see, Gresh lost over 100 pounds back in 2019 wit’ a program, not Ozempic. No sign he usin’ dat stuff. Callin’ him a slob? Dat’s subjective, me, but he a sharp sports guy. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
You had me at “ok face.”
Imagine thinking having 5 active jobs on the ol’ LinkedIn looks good.
When did YAC yards become RAC yards?
You know a guy is dirty when Mark Schelreth says, “this guy isn’t dirty.”
BYU and UNC will have an epic Holiday Bowl in 2027.
Next thing you know we’re going to find out she doesn’t really work 65 hours a week.
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Johnny Beecher.
Best bet for the weekend: Bill the GM’s former players playing well on other NFL squads.
THE GARDEN was built for the brawlers, the bombers, THE ABSOLUTE SHOT-CALLERS! Beantown demands the PROS, baby, not some doe-eyed amateurs still figuring out which end of the rink is up! We shelled out our hard-earned cash to watch the GODS: Russell blockin’ shots into the Charles, Orr flyin’ end-to-end like a jet, Bird drainin’ ‘em with the silky smooth, Espo snipin’ top shelf where Mama hides the cookies! These are the GIANTS who strode among us mere mortals! So take that college kiddie carnival back down to Storrs, Geno!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Wash before wearing.
And happy birthday to Ukrainian-Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!
So. Happy. For. You. Ma’am.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Commanders at Dolphins
Panthers at Falcons
Buccaneers at Bills
Chargers at Jaguars
Bears at Vikings
Packers at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Texans at Titans
49ers at Cardinals
Seahawks at Rams
Ravens at Browns
Chiefs at Broncos
Lions at Eagles
Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!
and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!
Double TRADEMARK!
As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):
Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!
Sunday Desayuno Time Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5) ¡Los delfines ganan!
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers at Falcons (-3.5) Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win
Times are tough
Buccaneers at Bills (-6) Bills bully Baker
Chargers (-3) at Jaguars Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs
From the golden age of advertising
Bears at Vikings (-2.5) Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears
Packers (-7) at Giants There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.
High brow humor!
Bengals at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers flatten Flacco
Texans (-6) at Titans Tex squeezes Tits
Sunday Dinner Time 49ers (-3) at Cardinals Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds
He’s gaining on you red
Seahawks at Rams (-3) Horny sheep trample fake sea birds
Ravens (-7.5) at Browns Scary black birds flush the Browns
If it’s brown, flush it down
Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos Chiefs bust Broncos
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Eagles (-2.5) Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly
He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders Ranch hands rustle Raiders
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
News item:ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.
We’re all in!
We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?
And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).
Thank you for you attention to this matter.
Sunday Frühstück Time Falcons at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos
Sunday Lunch Time Saints at Panthers (-5.5) Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints
Giants at Bears (-4.5) Bears send G-men into hibernation
Seems like a bad idea
Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans Spotted cats have a problem in Houston
Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins Buffalo grills Dolphins
Not this time Flipper
Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead
Browns (-1.5) at Jets Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027
Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5) It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!
This will never make any sense
Sunday Dinner Time Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5) Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds
Rams (-3) at 49ers Horny sheep menace Mac
Lions (-7.5) at Commanders Lions tame Swamp Things
No shirt, no shoes, all action!
Sunday Prowl Time Steelers at Chargers (-3) Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage
Monday Prowl Time Eagles at Packers (-2.5) American Birds snap up Meat Men
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat was not beat Week 8! Good effort, though.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Bears at Bengals
Vikings at Lions
Panthers at Packers
Broncos at Texans
Falcons at Patriots
49ers at Giants
Colts at Steelers
Chargers at Titans
Saints at Rams
Jaguars at Raiders
Chiefs at Bills
Seahawks at Commanders
Cardinals at Cowboys (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our spooky band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Every one of your suggestions was fantastic, unfortunately we don’t have the bandwidth to print them all here, but rest assured they will be available for download once the World Series is over. Until then, enjoy this random assortment of responses:
“Blue square lapel pins” – Robert K., Brookline, MA
“A variety of Buddha faux succulent terrariums” – Arianne S., Peabody MA
“Hugs” – Mike M., Enfield CT
“Resumes” – Jerod M., North Attleborough, MA
“Disease infested blankets” – Jeffrey A., Amherst MA
“Yolks from hard boiled eggs” – Brian L., Mansfield MA
“Blue cupcakes” – Joshua M., Nashua NH
“EpiPens” – Kendra M., Jacksonville FL
“Keep your grimy fingers off my blue cupcakes f*ck face. Give out some of those hand sanitizer bottles you’ve been swigging.” – Roger S., Nashua NH
“Serial killer vibes” – Jonathan B., Stoughton MA
“A free ride home from any detox center” – Frank S., Peabody MA
“L’s” – Steve R., Lowell MA
“Charcoal” – Bryan D., Quincy MA
“I can’t remember the question” – Corey B., Dorchester, MA
Speaking of early onset Alzheimer’s, don’t forget to turn those clocks back on Sunday
Why am I waiting an extra hour to eat?
Sunday Lunch Time Bears (-2.5) at Bengals Tigers lose to Bears, oh my!
Vikings at Lions (-8.5) Jungle kings maul marauders
Panthers at Packers (-12.5) Meatmen slice and dice black cats
I think I’d prefer the slicing and dicing
Broncos (-1.5) at Texans Broncos nix Texicans
Falcons at Patriots (-5.5) Patriots finally get revenge for almost losing the Super Bowl nine years ago
What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander?
49ers (-2.5) at Giants Prospectors pinch Pituitaries
Colts (-3) at Steelers Indianapolis Jones yanks Yinzers
Chargers (-9.5) at Titans Bolts tingle Tits
It looks safe to me
Sunday Dinner Time Saints at Rams (-14) Saints get excommunicated in the City of Angels
Jaguars (-3) at Raiders Spotty cats claw Pete’s poodles
Get busy doodle boy
Chiefs (-2) at Bills Chiefs take down tatanka
Those are some crazy looking coyotes
Sunday Prowl Time Seahawks (-3.5) at Commanders Fake sea birds soar over swamp things
Monday Prowl Time Cardinals at Cowboys (-2.5) Cowboys cage pretty red birds
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat was outpicked by the Merrimack Valley’s savviest aunt. Congratulations, lady.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Hat. Shirt. Fluff.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Dolphins at Falcons
Bears at Ravens
Bills at Panthers
Jets at Bengals
49ers at Texans
Browns at Patriots
Giants at Eagles
Buccaneers at Saints
Cowboys at Broncos
Titans at Colts
Packers at Steelers
Commanders at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our merry band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
The 15 