Breaking News: Baseball is officially over! Time to take out the air conditioners, put in the storm windows and start raking those pesky leaves. Sounds like a fun weekend of puttering around until Sunday Night Football, but you know what else sounds like fun? Banking goodwill with you significant other! Week 5 has a horrific lineup of games and the weather is supposed to be glorious. There’s no better time than now to break out the official The15 Fall Event Avoidance Generator and topsy turvy that motherf*cker. It’s the perfect opportunity for you, yes YOU, to bite the bullet and invite your loved one to the Foliage Brunch or the Hay Festival or even a trip to the Apple Maze. The Patriots play at 1 o’clock for the next five weeks – think ahead. Remember failing to plan is planning to fail.
Say it ain’t so, Uncle Joe
Sunday English Muffin Time Vikings (-3.5 ) at Browns Norsemen squash woodland sprites
Sunday Lunch Time Cowboys (-2.5 ) at Jets Jets soar to Cowboys crash
Broncos at Eagles (-5.5) Philly nix Nix
I told you these match-ups are boring
Texans at Ravens (-7.5) Scary black birds kickoff spooky season with a win
Raiders at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones extends the Raiders lost season
More belly rubs Dr. Jones
Dolphins (-1.5 ) at Panthers Black cats feast on fish
Giants (-1.5 ) at Saints David slays Goliath
Davey has been radicalized
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers at Seahawks (-3) Bucs sink Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals (-9.5) Phoenix grabs the Mythical Creature Bowl
Lions (-8.5 ) at Bengals Jungle kings dominate the battle of the big cats
They’ll both rip your lungs out once they grow up
Commanders at Chargers (-2.5) Bolts shutdown Washington
Sunday Prowl Time Patriots at Bills (-8.5) The whiteout uniforms whitewash the Patriots
Polar bear in a snowstorm on Hoth
Monday Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) at Jaguars Indigenous peoples skin the spotted cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! Welcome to Football Cat’s Wide World of Sports Weekend! In Asia there are the World Athletics Championship finishing up in Tokyo. In the Land Down Under we have an all feline Grand Final in the Australian Football League as the Geelong Cats (a personal favorite) take on the defending champion Melbourne Lions. In Brazil there’s the Grand Chess Tour Finals kicking off (a Blitz isn’t only in football kids). And who could possibly forget about everyone’s favorite jingoistic biennial golf tournament, that the Ryder Cup (any relation to Greg?) is taking place at Bethpage Black (any relation to Shirley Temple Black?) Even the Red Sox are prepping for the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!?!) But Faith and Begorrah the most important international sporting event of the weekend will be taking place in the Emerald Isle, when the Steelers “host” the Vikings in the first ever regular season NFL game to ever be played on the auld sod. Why the Steelers you may ask? What a stupid question boy-o! Why I ought to bop you on the head with me shillelagh! The Steelers were the obvious choice because of their deep Irish roots. Steeler’s patriarch Art Rooney’s great-grandparents emigrated from Ireland way back in 1840 during the Great Famine. That means current Steeler’s owner Dan Rooney only has to go back four generations to reach his potato roots. Wow a 4th generation Irish American! There are only about 32 other million of those, and half are in Southie. So remember no matter how many times you drop “Sláinte” or “Éire go Brách”, your blood will never be as green as the Sainted Rooney family. Top o’ the mornin’ to YOU, ya’ spud!
The local Mick community couldn’t be more excited
And congratulations to Warren Dull’s Aunt on being the only human to ever defeat Football Cat
Choke on that Fluff lady
Sunday Potato Pancake Time Vikings (-2.5) vs Steelers Stillers hand the Vikings their worst defeat in Ireland since the Battle of Clontarf in 1014
Brian Boru invented sudden death centuries before Bert Bell
Sunday Lunch Time Commanders (-1.5) at Falcons Penix stiffens up and balls out.
Saints at Bills (-15.5) Even Saint Jude is backing the Bills in this one.
The Popes!
Browns at Lions (-9.5) Jungle Kings smear the Browns
Titans at Texans (-7.5) FUN FACT: This game showcases the only two teams in the NFL whose nicknames end in “ans”! Tex top Tit
Did someone say “Texas tit top”?
Panthers at Patriots (-5.5) Black cats get caught looking ahead to October.
Chargers (-6.5) at Giants Jaxon Dart? More like Jaxon Sharts the bed!
Eagles (-3.5) at Buccaneers American birds soar in this battle of the unbeatens
Sunday Dinner Time Colts at Rams (-3.5) Hairy sheep hand Indianapolis Jones his first loss
Jaguars at 49ers (-3.5) Mac tames the Spotted Cats
My good friend Mac and I can’t stop owning
Ravens (-2.5) at Chiefs Scary Black birds murder Mahomes
Bears (-1.5) at Raiders It is officially fall, and the Autumn Wind is a Raider… Vegas baby!
Packers (-6.5) at Cowboys Meat men grind up Cow boys
Eeek!
Monday Early Prowl Time Jets at Dolphins (-2.5) Jets take the toilet bowl
Monday Prowl Time Bengals at Broncos (-7.5) Stripey Cats succumb to hypoxia
I hope this is nitrous
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Oh, good the new 2004 Red Sox documentary has JFK and forced busing in it. I was scared they were going to leave those out.
Not sure if Coach Parcells should be purchasing green bananas when he goes to buy the groceries.
Jayson Tatum is now a spokesperson for Vertex Pharmaceuticals after using their new non-opioid pain drug, Journavx, following Achilles surgery. The FDA approved the drug earlier this year.
omfg it just dawned on me that we have a fantastic chance of getting a Lyss v Nai WNBA Finals, and if that wouldn’t be the best thing ever, I don’t even know what to say anymore.
Whenever there’s a Minihane live show, do the Minifans pick a Designated Survivor?
Red Sox are 5-2 now in minor league ballparks this season.
Jeff Hardy is aging in dog years.
Pats wore the throwback uniforms. Edelman rang the lighthouse bell; what more were they supposed to do?
Cakes are cooking for Joe Greene, Jerry Donahue, Gorgon Clapp, Emilio Castillo, Kristina Wayborn, Joseph P. Kennedy II, Hubie Brooks, Brad Bird, Kevin Sorbo, Allen Bestwick, Mike Phelan, Nia Vardalos, Rafael Palmeiro, Sean McNabb, Bernard Gilkey, Kevin Koslofski, Shawn Crahan, Megan Ward, Eddie George, Kyle Turley, Stephanie McMahon, Daniele Bennati, Drew Gooden, Ryan Briscoe, Paul Hamm, and Lisa Wang.
Alex Cora told the media Payton Tolle will pitch out of the bullpen for the remainder of the season.
2/3 of Irsay’s daughters… WOULD.
The homeless Athletics came into your house and beat YOU!
Fitchburg Line Diversion Reminder: Saturday, Sept. 27th & Sunday, Sept. 28th Red & Green Line subway service will replace regular Commuter Rail service between North Station and Porter. This allows for North Station Terminal Area Signal System Improvement work.
You HAVE to tag Jerry Thornton when you get a divorce. No way around it.
I have to wonder if Sal still would have created cancel culture all those years ago if he could have foreseen how it would eventually be used.
Bruins scoring goals in bunches, nice to see, even in preseason.
Tried to use AI to put together my fantasy football lineup for this weekend. Complete trash. Everyone’s jobs are safe.
‘I don’t want the bass loaded anymore?’ What an idiot Lou Meloni is. The term is ‘loaded diamond.’
Zolak’s pronunciation of “Steelers” isn’t triggering at all.
Hey mean and not for everyone gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s nothing scandalous, it’s just some broad on the internet.”
Wyomissing translates from the Lenape to ‘brook full of trull.’
I hope years of forced bicoastal living won’t place undue strain on Attorney Jackson’s marriage.
Dallas Braden seems like if Pat McAfee was in the Lumineers.
What if I don’t like Millwall? What then?
It’s almost like sportswriting attracts a disproportionate number of talentless losers.
Kirk Minihane might be retarded.
You’ve got “toss the egg yolk” money in this economy? Must be nice.
Walked into a strange cafe No one there’s ever heard my name Go to the bar, have a seat Talk to that woman sittin’ next to me
She ask me in a voice so low, She ask me if I come in here alone. She ask me nicely, “Can I buy you a drink?” You know I think she likes me, that’s what I think, I think she likes me, that’s what I think.
Can someone who has covered the NFL longer than I explain why all nine Patriots-Steelers games from 1981 to 1995 were in Pittsburgh? Was there no rhyme or reason to NFL scheduling? Just going off vibes?
Kay Adams debuting the ‘bait for a gang initiation beatdown’ look is certainly a bold decision.
Kenny Anderson: wash cloth user.
Honk if you remember NASCL’s Enemies List.
I bet if they try even harder the media can make one more person care about the Tom Brady “conflict of interest” storyline.
Vocal fry in a male is very off-putting.
Whenever Donald Trump comes after one of Bill Simmons’ friends he stops talking about Belichick. So who’s to say whether him forcing ABC to cancel Jimmy Kimmel is a bad thing or not.
Also, I really wanna go 100% on this but…I can’t cancel Disney+…I just can’t. Marvel has a hold on me. Disney/Pixar movies have a hold on me. Shit, Hulu does somewhat too. And now with WWE moving their PLE’s there? Ugh. I’m sorry. I’m still 99% with everyone though!
It’s good to be on the good side of the crazy coworker.
Ramondre knows he has to be better!
Rub some dirt on it, David Fry. Walk it off. You’re okay.
Can you imagine Kendra Middleton going to the Big E? Hahahahaha zoinks!!
Best bet for the weekend: New England improves to 2-2.
Bruce Allen Jr, the indispensable founder of the Boston Sports Media Watch website. A good man, a kind man, a tall man. Taken from us too soon. He will be greatly missed.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Walk, Don’t Run.
And there’s some leftover cake in the break room from THE BUTCHIE’S birthday yesterday.
“Where are my blue cupcakes!?”
Don, it’s RAH SHERSHONNAH, so a SHONER TOVER to you and yours. And just so you know, the only state I’ll recognize is RED SOX NATION!
Every September 19th all of Patriots Nation gather together with their family and friends to celebrate the legacy of their one time wunderkind General Manager Upton Bell. Back in February of 1971, Billy Sullivan hired the snot nosed 33 year old Bell to be his GM. The most memorable moment of Upton’s brief reign of terror was when he forgot to mail out contracts to all the team’s impending free agents, thus instantly granting them their freedom. The Upton Bell era came to an abrupt end in December 5, 1972 when he was unceremoniously fired after amassing a putrid 9 – 19 record. Sure that is a bad record, but really damning fact is that Upton was so incompetent that he never worked in the NFL again. Imagine how awful his reputation within the league must have been to never get another front office job. This was the son of former NFL Commissioner and Eagles owner/founder Bert Bell, and after being fired at the age of 35 his career in the league was over.
Today the 88 year old social media maven has morphed into a modern day Baron Hieronymus Karl Friedrich Freiherr von Münchhausen. The list of famous (all dead) people Upton has met includes Burt Reynolds, Jane Russell, Hedy Lamar, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly, Stephen Hawking, Patricia Neal, Jack Nicholson, Richard Nixon, Anthony Hopkins, Angie Dickerson, Arnold Palmer, Alan Shepard, Ted Turner, Seiji Ozawa, Donna Reed, Hedy Lamarr, Carely Simon, Yo Yo Ma and three (THREE!) Tuskegee Airmen. The list goes on and on. We didn’t even bother with listing the sports figures he claims to have known/discovered, but rest assured if they’re dead Upton claims he interacted with them.
And if Upton didn’t meet them, rest assured his mother did. Per Upton, his mom, Broadway “star” Frances Upton, had close encounters with Charles Lindbergh, James Cagney, Florenz Ziegfeld, George Gershwin, George Burns, Willie Mays, Babe Ruth, Lefty Gomez and Al Capone. According to Upton, when Bert Bell, his father, dropped dead Universal Pictures wanted to make a movie about him with Danny Thomas as the lead, but Frances turned it down (of course she did!). The aforementioned Bert Bell invented the NFL Draft, coined the phrase “On Any Given Sunday”, brought the entire Eagles team with him on his honeymoon, proposed local TV blackouts, and in 1958 came up with the idea of sudden death overtime – which is ironic because he dropped dead less than one year later while attending a football game.
Happy Upton Bell Day!
So celebrate today the Upton way by forgetting to send out important legal documents on time, or by getting you rugs cleaned or by lying on social media about all the famous dead people you’ve interacted with. Happy 9-19 to all who celebrate!
Sunday Lunch Time Falcons (-5.5) at Panthers Black cats get slapped by Penix
Packers (-7.5) at Browns Packko over Flacco
In 1935 Bert Bell invents the NFL draft. In 1948 Bert Bell invents prank calling potential draft picks.
Texans at Jaguars (-2) Texicats hog tie spotted cats
Bengals at Vikings (-3) Norsemen beat Burrow-less Bungles
Steelers (-1.5) at Patriots Pat Patriot makes Rodgers see red
November 14, 1972 press conference with owner Billy Sullivan (right), interim head coach Phil Bengtson (center), lame duck GM Upton Bell (left). Disgraceful body language
Rams at Eagles (-3.5) Philly rams LA
Jets at Buccaneers (-6.5) Tampa takes the Todd Bowles Revenge Bowl
Colts (-4.5) at Titans Tits whip Indianapolis Jones
Frances Upton in her only feature film role as Angie in ‘Night Work’ (1930). Francis loved to tell Upton about all the times she lost out on an acting job because she would not submit to the casting couch. Proving that lying is inherited.
Raiders at Commanders (-3.5) The Raiders keep racking up frequent flyer miles but not wins
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos at Chargers (-3) Bolts best Broncos
Saints at Seahawks (-7.5) Saints remain winless in Seattle
Upton saw Wilt Chamberlain play high school basketball and new he’d be a super star
Cowboys (-1) at Bears Da Bears drop Da Boys
Cardinals at 49ers (-2.5) Prospectors use the Pretty Red Birds as their canaries in the gold mine.
Sunday Prowl Time Chiefs (-6) at Giants Chiefs cut the Giants down to size
9 wins as Patriots GM work out to 1 win for every tooth
Monday Prowl Time Lions at Ravens (-4.5) Scary black birds tame the big cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
It always comes back to baseball, Danny. Robert Redford 1936-2025.
First The Whammer, then Bump Bailey, and now Mr. Roy Hobbs? 2025 is clearing out the cast of The Natural.
I have as many FBS wins as Notre Dame this season and I’m not in the AP Top 25.
Well, to the good, in a couple of weeks Mike McDaniel will be able to use his Breitling watch to tell time.
So the show about the entertainment industry cleaned up at the Emmys? That never happens.
Tom Brady. A 24-year journey from from Mo Lewis to Mo Atta.
After Borregales missed 2 xp’s Patriots fans were ready to check him for disqualifying tattoos.
Too soon to call Carles Gil a coach killer?
Cakes are cooking for Phil Jackson, Fee Waybill, Cassandra Peterson, Rita Rudner, Scott Simpson, John Franco, Steve Clifford, Ty Tabor, Baz Luhrmann, Paul Feig, Bryan Singer, Kyle Chandler, Anastacia, Mark Brunell, David Reid, Rasheed Wallace, Jimmie Johnson, Flo Rida, Danny Haren, Eugenia Volodina, Alex Ovechkin, Mason Raymond, and Patrick Mahomes II.
Pablo Torre may be a strange lil fella who’s more obsessed with Jordon Hudson than Coach Bill himself, but he does seem to have Steve Ballmer dead to rights.
Cool limp, bro.
I hope Mike Reiss is going to demand a personal apology from the nepo GM for drafting Ja’Lynn Polk.
Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to police activity at Harvard.
‘Wake Up Barstool?’ That just makes one think of all the Barstool Rohypnol ‘n Foam parties back in the day.
If the Red Sox lose out they will finish 82-80. They were 81-81 last year.
Stefon Diggs and Cardi will definitely have to play zone and not man with all them kids.
You can say anything you like But you can’t touch the merchandise She’ll give you every penny’s worth But it will cost you a dollar first
You can step outside your little world (Step outside your world) You can talk to a pretty girl She’s everything you dream about…
(But don’t fall in love) She’s a beauty (She’s one in a million girl) One in a million girl (Why would I lie?) Why would I lie?
Congratulations to WNBA KIA Most Improved Player Award Winner Veronica Burton.
Another 2004 Red Sox documentary in the offing? Who asked for that?
And that goes double for Nana Gary Myers’ book.
I’m not saying you fiddled with the thermostat, but I didn’t set the heat at 55 degrees and the AC at 80.
Honk if you remember the Montrealer train.
I wonder if Pablo Torre is going to investigate the Saudi Flag Football League.
David Pastrnak will be limited in the first few days for training camp with an undisclosed injury.
Molly Qerim is a free agent.
Best bet for the weekend: Christian Gonzalez’s hamstring keeps him inactive vs Pittsburgh.
Perpetually skeptical as to CLNS. Charlie Kirk 1993-2025
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, and things of that nature.
And Happy Birthday to British actress Ella Purnell.
I hope Fred isn’t listing his height as 6’1″ on Grindr.
Can anyone of YOU beat Football Cat? The answer is a resounding “NO”. Despite what a nameless (brainless?) intern announced earlier this week. None of you (NONE OF YOU!) picked more winners in Week 1 than our beloved Football Cat. The faux “winner” picked 11 winners, mildly impressive for a human being. However, Football Cat picked 12 winners! TWELVE. This isn’t even advanced math like differential equations or, even worse, percentages (*gasp*). You don’t need to be a lonely pathetic ex-con finance manager working weekends selling unnecessary gap insurance to naive customers at your local car dealership to understand that 12 is greater than 11.
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time
Unfortunately we here at Football Cat World Headquarters have been forced to petition the courts for a temporary injunction against the distribution of the official The15 joke prize pack to Mr. Warren Dull’s aunt. We request Miss/Ms./Mrs. Dull, or her representatives, direct all inquiries to @SteveBosell15. We look forward to eventually awarding the official The15 joke prize pack to an actual winner… which will be never, because YOU can’t beat Football Cat! You just can’t, but you’re welcome to keep trying.
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise
Good day and good luck!
Sunday Lunch Time Jaguars at Bengals (-3.5) Stripes over spots
Spots and stripes? That’s definitely advanced fashion
Giants at Cowboys (-5.5) Pokes pop Pituitaries
Bears at Lions (-6.5) Lions turn on their former handler
Welcome back Ben Johnson
Rams (-5.5) at Titans Horny sheep squash Tits
Patriots at Dolphins (-1.5) Pats flounder against Phins
49ers (-2.5) at Saints My good friend Mac is going to own in New Orleans
Mac and I will direct our laughter towards North Carolina (ha ha ha!)
Bills (-6.5) at Jets Buffalo gets on the same page and orchestrate their attacks to perfection! The only thing McDermott is upset about is that this game wasn’t played on Thursday.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Seahawks at Steelers (-2.5) Rodgers keeps rolling
Browns at Ravens (-11.5) Black birds soar over Browns
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos (-1.5) at Colts Danny Dimes drops Denver
Panthers at Cardinals (-6.5) Pretty Red Birds bludgeon Black Cats
That bird is jacked
Eagles at Chiefs (-1.5) American Birds prove that their Super Bowl domination of those poor Native Americans was no fluke.
Sunday Prowl Time Falcons at Vikings (-3.5) Norsemen swallow up Penix
A hot dog is all the censors would allow us to use
Monday Prowl Time Buccaneers at Texans (-2.5) Texicans trounce Tampa
Monday Sleepy Time Chargers (-3.5) at Raiders Plugs short circuit the strip
Stick to gambling kids, it’s safer
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Football Cat is tired from watching the Patriotic Birds play the Pokes.
Your long wait is finally over, and so is your Summah, football season is upon us! And this season is no ordinary season… this season YOU (yes, YOU!) get the opportunity to go head to head with our very own Feline Football Forecaster, the one, the only Football Cat!
One of our interns (I haven’t taken time to learn their names yet) outlined the rules in an earlier post.
The Cliff Notes version: If you can pick more winners than Football Cat you will be eligible to win a fabulous The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of tonight’s game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants! It’s that easy. All you have to lose is your self respect.
Which leaves us with the question… Can YOU beat Football Cat?
Actual prize may vary
Sexta à Noite Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) vs Chargers “I play the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil ‘Cause everybody plays the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil ‘Cause it’s all we’ve ever wanted, and it’s all that you want still Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?”
Plugs shock Chiefs in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter Classic
Pelé knew which game was the real o jogo bonito
Sunday Lunch Time Buccaneers (-2) at Falcons An opening week NFC South six pointer! Why wasn’t this on Sunday Night Football? Bucs win and all but clinch the division
Bengals (-6) at Browns Stripey cats leave the Browns strewn across their litter box
Actually Cleveland is a really nice place… for me to poop on!
Dolphins at Colts (-1.5) Ponies pop Porps
Panthers at Jaguars (-3) Cat fight! Spotted cats send black cats home with two black eyes
Woof
Raiders at Patriots (-2.5) Botox Brady’s team comes up short in the shadow of Tom’s tiny headed statue
Cardinals (-6.5) at Saints Cardinals win the Holy War
Say two Hail Marys and one Act of Cat-trition (*uproarious laughter*)
Steelers (-3) at Jets Men of Steel dominate in Metropolis
Krypto, Krytpo, Krypto! Why no love for Streaky the Supercat?
Giants at Commanders (-6) I’m calling the president. Mr. President, we need the National Guard. We need as many men as you can spare because the Commanders are killing the Giants. Wait… what? They’re already here? Never mind.
My old Platoon Sergeant said the Guard was for pussies
Sunday Dinner Time Titans at Broncos (-7.5) Tits sag in the thin air
49ers (-2.5) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds rub Purrrdy the wrong way
Lions at Packers (-2.5) Jungle Kings devour Meat Men
It’s just a flesh wound
Texans at Rams (-2.5) Horny sheep give Houston problems
Sunday Prowl Time Ravens at Bills (-1.5) Scary Black birds spook Hairy Cows
Monday Prowl Time Vikings at Bears (-1.5) Norsemen skin grizzlies
It’s not a rug it’s a weave
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Simply pick who you think will win this week’s games. (Friday, Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack!
A BURNER ACCOUNT Tee Shirt!
A Jar of Fluff
and a KENO snapback hat!
Wow
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this week’s NFL matchups:
Chiefs Chargers
Bucs Falcons
Bengals Browns
Dolphins Colts
Raiders Patriots
Cardinals Saints
Steelers Jets
Giants Commanders
Panthers Jaguars
Titans Broncos
49ers Seahawks
Lions Packers
Texans Rams
Ravens Bills
Vikings Bears Tiebreaker – total points
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Fake real Snoopy or real fake Snoopy? Here’s how to tell.
Bill really should have done better with picks 29 thru 32 in the first round of the draft, caller.
I hope the young Red Sox players took note of Lowe’s textbook feet first slide into second on his double in the 7th.
Going to Philly for Kobe’s birthday is the ultimate “look at me” move.
Giving everyone a variation of the job title Dummy was a mistake on our part. The flow chart is very confusing.
Tim Hill of the New York Yankees has horse thief physiognomy.
John Dennis also gave himself over to a higher power in a Cracker Barrel parking lot.
Todd Choi just took to the official Fictional Friction account to dispel rumors he has retired from the band. It amazes me on a daily basis how much fake made up clickbait is out there every hour. And how many people believe it without considering the source and circulate it.
Not charging a error because the guy doesn’t touch the baseball is the dumbest logic on the planet.
Cakes are cooking for Chip Douglas, Tuesday Weld, G. W. Bailey, Barbara Bach, Charles Fleischer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Alex Lifeson, Peter Stormare, Derek Warwick, Robert Richardson, Bernhard Langer, Tom Ford, Downtown Julie Brown, Cesar Millan, Chandra Wilson, Jim Thome, Tony Kanal, Chris Imes, Mike Smith, Jonny Moseley, Mase, Sarah Chalke, Aaron Paul, Sarah Neufeld, Patrick J. Adams, and Breanna Stewart.
Why do dads NEVER sneeze at an appropriate volume?
The Miz deserves all his flowers, btw. Always entertaining. Solid matches. Main event. Mid card. Comedy. Ambassador. He’s valuable. #SmackDown
So Felger doesn’t talk to Jim Murray off the air? Stick tap to Mike for that.
Worcester Line Train 510 (5:45 am from Worcester) will terminate at Framingham today. Passengers will be accommodated by the next inbound train to depart Framingham Train 1512 (6:35 am from Framingham) will make all local stops.
The Moreno family in Saniago says hi.
Masataka Yoshida means ‘slow dribbler’ in Japanese.
Hey gang of yoked weirdos, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Yeah, go power wash the trees, I don’t give a fuck, just leave us alone.”
Someone told Fred Toucher that black is slimming and he just fucking ran with it.
A kid tangentially related to the Anaheim Ducks died of brain cancer. Shukri will be his biggest mourner once he finds out who this guy was.
physiognomy is just a phenomenal descriptor.
Whenever I see service dogs, they seem way happier than I would be if I were in their paws. If I were a dog I’d want to be lazy all day, the last thing I’d want to do is work. But I reckon they’re thrilled because it means they’re always included.
Has anyone in in history said, “man those lip fillers are hot”?
Red Sox will open the 2026 schedule in Cincinnati against the Reds March 26..
Vancouver – St Louis might have been the most fixed MLS game ever.
Kinda love Rajon Rondo forgoing his destiny of being an NBA coach to play flag football.
Love Love will keep us together Think of me, babe whenever Some sweet-talking girl comes along Singing his song Don’t mess around You just got to be strong
Just stop ‘Cause I really love you Stop, I’ll be thinking of you Look in my heart And let love keep us together
I’m going to make this crystal clear for everyone in case it isn’t already: I cover Inter Miami. I am not a fan of Inter Miami. I report impartially on what the team does — whether it’s good, bad or in between. I’m not here to cheerlead, sugarcoat or do Inter Miami PR.
Honk if you remember Samuel Gompers.
If you get annoyed at the gym every day that’s on you at some point.
God don’t like ugly.
Am I supposed to know who the father/son guys are in the Gillette Labs razor commercial?
I love the in-game interviews with the ESL infielders.
Gotta feel for Shedeur & Shilo. Second generation professional athletes never can catch a break!
I’ll be honest, Mazz tweeting with replies turned off is a great troll job.
Neemias Queta. Owning.
It’s the 58th anniversary of Tartabull’s Throw. Good Red Sox fans know what that means.
Best bet for the weekend: college football being officially back with Week 1 action.
We love BdlG but those sunglasses are wearing *her*.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The summer’s out of reach.
And a happy birthday to American actress Alexa PenaVega.
Haven’t the Jimmy Fund kids been through enough, why make them get interviewed by Dave O’Brien?
Steve Pagliuca is a class act who understood what it meant to represent our fandom as an owner on the NBA stage. I was disappointed he didn’t have the winning bid but this statement exudes the class he showed through his tenure as part owner. Thank you Pags!
ESPN shitting on the grave of Bert Bell will keep Upton Bell alive two more decades.
Say ‘there’s magic the the greens!’ a few more times TC.
Spending that beautiful Saturday inside because the Pats played at 1 is reminding me of all the awesome fall Sunday I’ll be inside all day because the Pats play at 1.
The coach’s challenges add to the quaint ambiance of the Little League World Series.
Watched the first episode of Hard Knocks with the Bills last night. Dion Dawkins spinning around in a race car with his young kids in the passenger seat is fucking insane. I need Felger to comment and get cancelled.
Apparently the Celtics marketing folks are trying to stay under the luxury tax as well.
Cakes are cooking for Don King, Dave Brock, Rich Brooks, Graig Nettles, Connie Chung, John Noble, Robert Plant, John Hiatt, Al Roker, Quinn Buckner, Joan Allen, Cindy Nicholas, Mark Langston, Duffy Waldorf, Jr., KRS-One, Andy Benes, Fred Durst, Ke Huy Kwan, Todd Helton, Misha Collins, Chris Drury, Andrew Garfield, Alex Newell, and Demi Lovato.
One thing Joe Burrow is going to do is stick with a drive mentally no matter what car wash he’s going through to get to the end zone and still score.
What’s the big deal here? Jesus is King.
Hey gang this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “As a mom of a boy, I need Donna Kelce to write a book on how to raise sons. INSTANT buy.”
The Cleveland Guardians are going to overtake the Red Sox despite selling at the trade deadline and having their relief ace intentionally lose.
Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a passenger requiring medical assistance at Harvard.
‘The Wheels on the Bus’ might be the most misogynistic song ever. All the women repeatedly tell their children “shhh” all through the town while the men adoringly say “I love you” to the kids instead. Truly a sad and misguided take on women’s relationships with their young boys and girls.
Ricardo Quaresma looks like he’s running for mayor of Swansea.
Back at the mirror, your good friend Talkin’ to the mirror to play out your game Stop in the middle, I stop then Look at the winner and the price you pay Mmm
Cold was the winter, I tremble Long was the fall that had no end Now little by little, the air clears Little by little, I can breathe, I can breathe again
I can breathe again I can breathe again now Call your name, call your name Call your name, call your name Everything changes, everything changes I call your name.
Paul Pierce said there was an “intense moment” between Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins during a team meeting during the 2008-09 season.
A pitta me, carpe diem, de facto, it goes on and on like that, eck cetera.
OK new cellphone, maybe you have a point not liking the dollar store car charger. My bad.
The 2019 movie The Vault was pretty good, but the soundtrack was exemplary.
Lou Damn Merloni talking over and explaining cancer to a (checks notes) Oncology Specialist isn’t triggering at all.
I would go to a Big Head Todd and the Monsters show any day of the week.
The McCourty Twins as commentators for the Pats preseason is like getting one for the price of two! Because they sound the same.
Honk if you remember swimmer Janet Evans.
Do you tip at full-service gas stations?
Red Sox third base coach Kyle Hudson was probably thinking about how Braintree got eliminated from the LLWS when he held the runner.
Get well soon Sophie Cunningham.
I’m sure Upton will be happy when ESPN resolves the situation by issuing a 2 A.M. apology. Once.
When did they take Monument Park out of Williamsport?
A compelling case could be made for a polar bear effectively taking on an adult male elephant.
Best bet for the weekend: Coast Guard Search & Rescue missions.
Hug your surfers a little tighter.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. She says your voice cannot command.
And happy birthday to American actress Amy Adams. Alliteration!
The 15 