Category Archives: Uncategorized

Happy Upton Bell Day

Upton Bell came very close to General Managing the New England Patriots to ten wins over two years, Mike.

Upton is Bert Bell’s son. Bert Bell was once the Commisioner of the NFL. Bert Bell was Upton’s father.

Upton Bell claims credit for more discoveries, innovations, and interactions with famous people than even Eddie Andelman!

Upton was General Manager of the New England Patriots. In 1971 he forgot to send option letters to the Patriots players, effectively making the entire team free agents.

The Patriots record during Upton’s tenure as GM was 9-19.

Upton Bell can do anything he puts his mind to, Kevin.

Everyone who could refute any of Upton’s Commander McBragg/Baron Munchausen/Forrest Gump stories is conveniently dead.

Upton is so old he understands all the outdated pop culture references in the previous sentence.

Upton Bell believes nepotism has no place in the modern NFL, Mike.

On Twitter, Upton likes to reply, and replies to likes!

Upton Bell was There At the Beginning. Of the AFL, not the United States.

Upton will turn 100 in 2037.

Upton wishes you a Happy Him Day.

Welcome Back Students!

Welcome back to all the college and university students! And a particular welcome to our new crop of student interns here at The15, both in the Greater Boston area and elsewhere:

Emily O. Anderson – ’25 University of Massachusetts – Boston

George H. Babip – ‘ 24 Boston University

Matthew F. X. Breuer – ’24 Emerson College

Evie Dzodocz – ’25 Liberty University

Sheherizade Fedayan – ’24 Emerson College

Madison Emily Gardiner – ’24 Framingham State University

Joshua Kaliszewski – ’23 Bunker Hill Community College

Lisa A. Pudlo – ’24 University of Massachusetts – Lowell

Beatriz Emily Santos – ’26 Northeastern University

Aoife Emma Sgringoli – ’24 Boston University

Michael Skellig Jr. – ’25 Northeastern University

Japheth Snell – ’24 Bob Jones University

Bohdan Tafka – ’23 Connecticut School of Broadcasting

Lawrence L. Trullbrooke – ’25 Boston College

Kyle Verdoux – ’23 Community College of Rhode Island

We hope to learn as much from you, as you do from us. Remember: Knowledge Is Good.

(Appearance of actual interns may vary.)

Fan Or Fraud? The Shukri Wrights Story

If you’re a fan of Boston sports, there’s a very high likelihood that you’ve seen a certain “superfan” pop up more and more in local media coverage and even some of the teams’ own social media content. Who is he? Where did he come from all of a sudden? Well, let’s meet him…

Vernon Dozier is a multi-sport beat writer for #The15. His previous work can be found at Deadspin and Goy At The Game among other publications. He is a lifelong resident of Rockport, MA and he is never leaving.

05/12/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Don’t cry, Beantown losers. You’re still winners by association.

Well that game turned from a laugher into a real kick to the yarbles, didn’t it?

Gonna need the Garden crowd to will the Bruins to a victory.

Jeff Howe should let people know he beat cancer.

Getting real 1966 season vibes from this Red Sox squad.

NFL SZN Schedule leak SZN.

I missed having Gabby Williams in the W so damn much.

If the Mets have a NESN equivalent, and they do, expect the, Cinco de Mayo Milagro to be in heavy rotation.

Cakes are cooking for Lou Whittaker, Ving Rhames, Thomas Dooley, Cara Coughenour, Tony Hawk, Jim Furyk, and Samantha Mathis.

Bob Lanier was a true gentleman. A nicer man than he was a player — and he was a hell of a player.

Terrible called strike three. A McDonald’s kiosk wouldn’t have missed that.

The #Bills are hiring #Texans assistant director of player personnel Matt Bazirgan for the role of Senior Personnel Executive in Brandon Beane’s front office. Some expertise and experience after the loss of Joe Schoen to the #Giants.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “A day late and a dollar short.”

My doggy is awfully sweet, but sometimes I would like to be able to put on my shoes without a dog standing 8 inches in front of me saying “Let’s go let’s go let’s go. What’s taking you so long?”

Blue Line Update: Shuttle buses will continue to replace train service between Airport & Government Center through Tuesday, May 17. Special ferry service continues between Lewis Mall (near Maverick) and Long Wharf North (near Aquarium)

Man, that Barstool thing that happened, with those Barstool people; crazy, isn’t it?

Congratulations on your very first Calder Cup playoff game win, Springfield Thunderbirds.

All we ask is that NBA officials treat Giannis the way NFL officials did Gronk during his Patriots tenure.

Bob DeFelice has retired after 54 seasons and 1,868 games as Bentley’s head coach. He has been the only head coach since the inception of the baseball program in 1969.

Pro Tip: The wedding reception you are going to that is being held on a farm in a ‘historic barn’ means no air conditioning.

American Honda Motor Co., Inc. (Honda) is recalling certain 2020 model year Accord Hybrid, 2020 model year CR-V Hybrid, and 2020-2021 model year Insight vehicles. The DC-DC converter on certain power converter units (PCUs) contain transistors with a high concentration of dopant injections. The increased doping, along with cold ambient temperatures, could amplify the voltage output and shut down the DC-DC converter due to overvoltage, which prevents the 12-volt battery from recharging.

“I’m going to go out tonight and pay for a Strange box” does not mean what it sounds like.

Always said you were a youth quaker, Edie
A stormy little world shaker
Warhol’s darling queen, Edie
An angel with a broken wing

The dogs lay at your feet, Edie
Oh, we caressed your cheek
Oh, stars wrapped in your hair
A life without a care
But you’re not there.

Van Gundy is already shocked about that Game 6 foul call on Giannis!

Forget Apple TV, Red Sox games should be on CNN+!

Grilled bison? #SignMeUp

Sad to see Brady have to settle for a media job after getting his ownership plans ruined by Bill and his missent text message.

Honk if you remember TCR -Total Control Racing.

Never make fun of someone for mispronouncing a word. That just means they read it somewhere first. Instead, make fun of them for being a book-reading nerd.

Is Ja Morant the new Ewing Theory exemplar?

Can’t wait for the scene in Season 9 of Winning Time when Magic learns he contracted HIV from a toilet seat and the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme music plays.

For his next book, I hope Bob Ryan writes a speculative fiction one about what the NBA scores would be if the 3-point shot gimmick had never been introduced.

Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Stihdsy.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Mine is room temperature lemon-lime seltzer!

Best bet for the weekend: important Game Sevens.

What could have been. Sorry that Hatrack McBouncepass conned everyone into thinking he was still competent and stole your job.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Fire woman, you’re to blame.

Alex Kraemer did nothing wrong! Bruins could benefit by her presence in Carolina. What?

DOZIER: EMOTIONAL SOX FIZZLE

PHOTO JOURNAL:

They should just paint BALTIMORE at the bottom of the standings
The 15?
Why all the red seats?
A dirty, dirty Reverse ATM
Splendid detritus
DAUBACH

GAME COLUMN:

Vernon Dozier is a multi-sport beat writer for #The15. His previous work can be found at Deadspin and Goy At The Game among other publications. He is a lifelong resident of Rockport, MA and he is never leaving.

WEINGARTEN’S NIECE BLASTS OFF ON JETBLUE: ‘NO ONE WILL HELP YOU’

The niece of Tampa Bay sports talk radio host, Rob Weingarten, unloaded on JetBlue in an exclusive tell-all this weekend after a nightmare experience.

Why does this matter?

It doesn’t take a big brain to connect the dots here. Rob Weingarten slings takez in Tampa Bay, a division rival of the Boston Red Sox. The Sox hold their spring training at JetBlue park. Their season has already been turbulent after failing to extend all-star cornerstones Xander Bogaerts and Rafael Devers. Now they’re faced with a new headache. The possible complicity in the inconveniencing of the Weingarten family is certainly in question.

Staunch Red Sox critic, Scott Zolak, has also been targeted by the airline this week 🤔

Mr. Weingarten’s niece was heartlessly passed around from gate to gate like a utility infielder from Pawtucket to Boston. Someone is going to pay for that.

Now this controversy is headed straight to the halls of Congress. The day might be fast approaching when John W. Henry may finally be grounded. For good.

UPDATE

Others in the market are starting to wake up. But don’t forget who had it first. Again.

Vernon Dozier is a multi-sport beat writer for #The15. His previous work can be found at Deadspin and Goy At The Game among other publications. He is a lifelong resident of Rockport, MA and he is never leaving.

March Sadness Results – The Four You Deplore Winners & Consolation Match

Don’t expect to see much of this picture over the next 72 hours. At all.
You tried, Large Gym and Little Ben.

The March Sadness Final Matchup is set. Almost A Coach Greg A. Bedard of (for now) the Boston Sports Journal versus Chris Gasper of the Boston Globe. Due to overwhelming interest, there will now be a consolation match between the runners-up. Noontime EDT today until noontime EDT tomorrow Sunday April 3rd. Championship Monday after that. Thank you for your interest in ridiculing mediots. cheers.

Region V First Round Results

Our first big upset of the Tourney as Arcand is found to be worse than the #2 seeded Borges thanks to a late surge of voting. It’s not a Super Bowl or a presidential election, but it’s something. In other matches, Chris Gasper garners a Saddam Hussein-esque percentage of the votes in his favor, followed close behind by DJ Bean.

In the 8/9 Castiglione vs ‘Hardy’ tilt, the Iheardahim edged out the pseudonym, MegO is a no-go vs Keefe, KPD whining about Jim Rice is not enough to get past call screener JStew, and Shaughnessy is at the top of his profession, and in the V Region.

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