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World Cup Primer – Part 1

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As you may be aware, the United States, along with two other countries in North America will be hosting the 23rd edition of the FIFA* World Cup. You know, soccer? It will be jointly hosted by sixteen cities – eleven in the United States, three in Mexico, and two in Canada. There will be 48 national teams competing, up from the previous total of 32 teams. (This is probably what made the NCAA decide to stuff more teams into next year’s March Madness Tournament.)

(* FIFA Motto- ‘You must first pay us before we tell you what FIFA stands for.‘)

As a public service, over the next few days this site will be providing some information about the nations and teams competing. We hope you find it edifying and enjoyable.

Group A

Mexico

Unlike the 2026 Red Sox, Mexico has played well at home when hosting the World Cup, which they have done twice before. Veteran goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa is set to feature at a sixth edition of the global finals while 17-year-old starlet Gilberto Mora is heading to his first as the youngest player from his nation to ever feature at a World Cup.

HC: Javier Aguirre

El Capitan: Edson Álvarez

Team Nickname: El Tri (The Tree)

Home Stadium: Estadio Azteca

South Africa

The final 26‑man squad is built almost entirely on domestic talent, with 19 players based in South Africa and strong representation from Mamelodi Sundowns and Orlando Pirates.

Manager: Hugo Henry Broos

Team Nickname: Bafana Bafana

Team Spirit Yell: DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!!

Vuvuzelas: Yes

Republic of Korea (aka South Korea)

South Korea has emerged as a major soccer power in Asia since the 1980s, having participated in eleven consecutive and twelve overall FIFA World Cup tournaments, the most for any Asian country. Despite initially going through five World Cup tournaments without winning a match, South Korea became the first (and so far only) Asian team to reach the semi-finals when they co-hosted the 2002 Tournament with Japan.

HC: Hong Byung-bo

Team Nickname: Tigers of Asia, Taegeuk Warriors

Captain: Son Heung-min

Top Scorer: Cha Bum-kun

Favorite American Television Program: ‘Franklin and Bash’

Czechia

Czechia’s return to the FIFA World Cup after a 20-year gap is both historic and challenging. The team, captained by Ladislav Krejčí, enters their 10th World Cup as an independent nation. The country registered ‘Czechia’ as its official short geographic name with the United Nations in 2016, which is a bit like having a divorced friend you’ve known for years insist you now call them by their new ‘cool’ nickname, but whatever makes them happy, right?

World Cup Base Camp: Mansfield, TX

Team Nickname: Skákající Češi (The Bouncing Czechs)

HC: Miroslav Koubek

Best finish: Runners-up in 1934 and 1962

‘The O.C.’ character equivalent: Summer Roberts

Group B

Canada

Canada, a first-time host nation will be hosting matches in Toronto and Vancouver. Soccer is the largest participatory sport in Canada and is considered the fastest growing sport in the country. (Hmm, sounds familiar…)

HC: Jesse Marsch

Captain: Alphonso Davies

Team Nicknames: Les Rouges, The Reds, The Maple Leaf Team, The Canucks, The Canuck Red Maple Leaf Raptors

FIFA World Cup equal to Stanley Cup: No

Bosnia and Herzegovina

B&H appeared for the first time in a FIFA WC at Brazil in 2014, which remains the only time the team participated at a major international tournament to date since they have yet to qualify for the Euros. While Serbia is recognized by FIFA as the official successor of Yugoslavia, Bosnian players have played a role in World Cup history before their countries’ independence in 1992.

HC: Sergej Barbarez

Captain: Edin Dzeko

Team Motto: Nisi tako hrabar kad nas je dvoje, jel’ tako? (Not so tough when there’s two of us, are you?)

Dream World Cup Matchup: Trinidad and Tobago

Qatar

After a less than stellar showing as the host of the 2022 World Cup, Qatar qualified for this year’s tournament by beating the United Arab Emirates 2-1.

HC: Julian Lopetegui

Captain: Hassan Al-Haydos

Possible pronunciations: Cutter, Ku-tarr, Cuter, Quieter, Quasar, Quarter, Guitar, Git’r Dun.

Switzerland

Switzerland has a proud World Cup history characterized by early quarter-final glory, recent consistent round-of-16 appearances, and a blend of experienced leaders and emerging talent poised for the 2026 tournament. It plays an offense that is appropriately thrifty, precise, and trilingual, while it’s defense is like their banking regulations.

HC: Murat Yakin

Captain: Granit Xhaka

Team Nicknames: A-Team Nati, Rossocrociati, Devils rouges, Leatherman Multi-tools

Robinsons on the squad: No.

Group C

Brazil (aka Brasil)

Brazil comes to this edition of the Tournament with a storied history of championships won (5) and players that go by only one name. In 114 World Cup matches played, the team has 76 wins, 19 losses, 247 points and a 129-goal difference. It is the only national team to have played in all World Cup editions without any absence nor need for playoffs The team will be staying in Basking Ridge, New Jersey.

HC: Carlo Ancelotti

Captain: Marquinhos

Other players with one name: Yes

Nicknames: Canarinho (Little Canary) O país muito bom em futebol (The very good at soccer country)

You know you’re good at soccer when you only have one name.  Half of the Brazilian National Team only have one name.  Science!

Morocco

Morocco is regarded as one of Africa’s most successful national football teams. They have won five continental titles, including the 1976 and 2025 editions of the African Cup of Nations. They won the African Nations Championship in 2018, 2020 and 2024. Morocco has qualified for the FIFA World Cup on seven occasions. In 1986, they made history as the first African team to win a World Cup group and advance to the knockout stage. At the 2022 World Cup, Morocco became the first African and first Arab team to reach a World Cup semi-final. They were also the third World Cup semi-finalist from outside Europe or South America. In 2025, Morocco set a world record for the longest winning streak in international football, achieving 19 consecutive victories across all competitions. Morocco combines experience, tactical discipline, and a confident squad to enter the 2026 World Cup as a team capable of challenging for a deep run, building on their historic achievements and growing reputation on the global stage.

Manager: Mohamhed Ouahbi

Captain: Achraf Hakimi

Team Nickname: Atlas Lions, The Usual Suspects, سُودُ الأَطلَس (The Morocco Moles)

Letters of Transit: MacGuffin

Haiti

Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it, they were under the heel of the French and they got together and swore a pact to the devil.  They said, we will serve you, if you get us free from the French, true story. And so the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’ And they kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free, and ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other, yet somehow qualified for the World Cup. Slotted in Pot 4, Haiti will face tough competition against some of the world’s top-ranked teams. It was easier for Haiti to qualify for the World Cup this year because the giants in the Concacaf, Canada, Mexico and the United States did not take part in the qualifiers since they will host the competition.

Team Nickname: Les Beelzebubs (The Beelzebubs) Les Grenadiers (The pomegranate Juice)

Captain: Johny Placide

HC: Sebastien Migné

Has the HC ever been to Haiti: No

Local Angle: Haitian player Frantzdy Pierrot was born in Haiti and grew up in Melrose, as he developed into a top-level forward.

Scotland

Scotland are the joint oldest national football team in the world, alongside England, whom they played in the world’s first international football match in 1872. Hampden Park in Glasgow is the traditional home of the Scotland team. The attendance record of 149,415 was set by the Scotland v England match in 1937. Safety regulations reduced the capacity to 81,000 by 1977 and the stadium was completely redeveloped during the 1990s, giving the present capacity of 52,000. How do you say shrinkflation in Scottish? An eight-time previous World Cup qualifier, Scotland hopes the ninth time is the charm as far as advancing out of the first round goes. They will be based in Charlotte, North Carolina for the Tournament, a state settled in part by a great many Scots-Irish.

HC: Steve Clarke

Captain: Andy Robertson

Supporters Nicknames: The Tartan Army, The Well-Refreshed Hordes

The Bonnie Banks o’ Loch Lamond: Aye

To be continued-

Sorry Sixteen Preview – March Sadness 2026

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Welcome to Round 3 of March Sadness 2026, when the true pieces of shit separate themselves from the turds.

You can’t tell the players without a scorecard


If you were expecting a “Sour Sixteen” preview, then we have one word for you… SORRRRRREY! It’s now the “Sorry Sixteen” © ℠ ® ™ Patent Pending. And a very sorry preview it is…

Region C
1 Greg Bedard vs 5 Dan Shaughnessy
It took overtime for Shank to sneak into the Sour Sorry Sixteen by the skin of his McTeeth. Look for Bedard to kick his balls up around his head.

The sun will come out tomorrow, but only for one of these two

2 Fred Toucher vs 3 Adam Jones
Fred Toucher spent a lot of time last week defending himself against accusation of racism. You know who doesn’t spend a lot of time defending themselves against accusations of racism? Non-racists. He doth protest too much advances.

Region V
1 Jim Murray vs 12 Chris Curtis
Advancing to the Sour Sixteen may be the second most shocking thing Curtis has ever done, but Large Gymnasium wins the battle of the bald middle aged dimwitted overconfident flash boys.

Curtis, in happier times, with the most shocking thing he’s done.

2 Marc Bertrand vs 3 Andy Hart
The Far Side kid burns lil’ Andy with his magnifying glass

Region N
1 Gabrielle Starr vs 4 Kevin F Paul Dupont
The woman in sports snips KPD’s sports manhood

2 James Stewart vs 3 Michael Felger
Jimmy Stewart gives Felger the Lavanchy treatment.

Gentleman, hide your ladies… and your cats

Region T
1 Ted Johnson vs 5 Scott Zolak
We will finally get an answer to a question that has been confounding medical experts for decades: Which causes more long term cognitive issues, head trauma or substance abuse? We’ve got good news, you can keep doing drugs kids, CTEd snowplows Zo.

2 Chris Gasper vs 3 Albert Breer
Breer sends Kid Gas to the golden showers.

It’s outrageous, egregious, preposterous

Vote early and often!

Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks ’25

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News item: ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.

We’re all in!


We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?

And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).

Thank you for you attention to this matter.

Sunday Frühstück Time
Falcons at Colts (-6.5)
Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Panthers (-5.5)
Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints

Giants at Bears (-4.5)
Bears send G-men into hibernation

Seems like a bad idea

Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans
Spotted cats have a problem in Houston

Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins
Buffalo grills Dolphins

Not this time Flipper

Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings
Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead

Browns (-1.5) at Jets
Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027

Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!

This will never make any sense

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds

Rams (-3) at 49ers
Horny sheep menace Mac

Lions (-7.5) at Commanders
Lions tame Swamp Things

No shirt, no shoes, all action!

Sunday Prowl Time
Steelers at Chargers (-3)
Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Packers (-2.5)
American Birds snap up Meat Men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Grok’s The15 Mini-Tourney Preview

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We interviewed everybody’s favorite new oracle of wisdom, Grok, and asked it who it thinks will come out on top (bottom?).

Grok seems to be simping for Ms. Starr, or maybe Mazz once accused Grok of stealing Felger’s car, but it’s not up to him/her/it! YOU still have free will (at least for the time being). So make your voice heard while you can. Get out and VOTE!

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

Mini-Tourney Round 3 Preview

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Baseball Town, Danny.

Just as the local nine begin their annual cool down, the remaining 8 tournament contests start heating up! #synergy

Region B
3 Rob Bradford vs 4 Steve Perrault
Just a couple of massively annoying 50 something year old guys with a penchant for wrinkled haberdashery. Bradford wins the smirkoff.

Don’t you just want to smack him?

Region V
1 Gabby Starr vs * Lou Merloni
First there was a tie:

Then there was still a tie:

When a tie – or a strike – needs to be broken there’s only one man to call. Lou DAMN Merloni!

I wasn’t a rat. And Steff wasn’t a danm dancer.

Lou has an unfortunate history of falling for women on poles, but today he will fall to a woman in a poll.

Lou? Lou is a colleague. But he’s going down. Like from Boston to Pawtucket? Because that happened to him? At his job?

Region N
1 Jared Carrabis vs 2 Tony Masserotti
When Matt McCarthy drags his balls across your face it may be time to reevaluate things.

But it should also guarantee you a Regional N victory. Carrabis will tattoo Mazz in this lightweight match up.

Region T
1 Pete Abraham vs 3 Mike McCarthy

The Hobbit devours McTeethy for his second breakfast.

The Philadelphia Phillies organization regrets to inform you that the Phanatic has died from AIDS

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

Mini-Tourney Round 2 Preview

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Welcome to the first ever Summertime Sour Sixteen! If you like new media and Red Sox broadcasters, or more importantly if you don’t like new media and Red Sox broadcasters, then this is the competition for you! We’ve got six podcasters, seven current or former members of Red Sox radio/TV broadcasts, two crusty old newspaper men and one weepy grifter. (Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

Region B
1 Dave O’Brien vs 4 Steve Perrault
O’Brien wasn’t bad on radio play-by-play. However, he is so bad on TV that he actually makes people long for the days of Don Orsillo. Now that’s bad. Perrault is just one of the Carrabis’s many forgettable goofball sidekicks. O’Brien walks it off.

2 Chad Finn vs 3 Rob Bradford
Hairy vag faced Bradfo will smother Wax Pack Chad under a pile of wrinkled t-shirts.

Chad should have stayed in the safety of internet free Mid-coast Maine

Region V (aka The Section 10 free region)
1 Gabby Starr vs 4 Justin MLB
Here’s a tip for any of you looking to participate in next year’s Mini-Tourney. Put “MLB” in your twitter handle, it will set you apart from your average run of the mill baseball fans named Justin. Gabz won’t even need to come back from one of her many in-season vacations to dispatch Mr. Gonzalez.

2 Tom Caron vs 6 Hogdale
The Hogriders came out in force and pushed their hero into Round 2. They may have misunderstood the assignment though. How could anyone not appreciate the passion that Grant Huckvale brings to the role of “Hogdale”? It’s always a tour de force performance. Grant is matched up with milquetoast Tom Caron. No matter how many hair plugs Caron gets, it will never be enough to mask his Megamind Forehead. Dr. Tom Leonard’s least successful client moves on.

His comb over is much more lustrous now

Region N
1 Jared Carrabis vs 4 Coley Mick
Jared Carrabis is a better more knowledgeable fan than YOU. Sorry, just deal with it losers. “Coley Mick” is a lace curtain Irish dunce. “Car Rubbish”® will mash that bloated spud in the Section 10 showdown.

2 Tony Massarotti vs 3 Will Fleming
It seems unfair to have the March Sadness runner up in the Midsummer Mini-Tourney, but that’s baseball. Maybe if Will Fleming starts speaking Spanish, Tony will run away and hide. Unfortunately the only Spanish Mazz will hear from Fleming is “No Más“.

Region T
1 Pete Abraham vs 4 Tyler Milikin
This match up should be introduced by Dale Dorman as part of the Creature Double Feature. Sentient garden gnome (Abraham) takes on an obese two legged centaur (Milikin). The winner may depend on what country you live in.

Avert your eyes… they’re both hideous!

2 Tyler Broadman vs 3 Mike McCarthy
Is Mike McCarthy the pudgy bearded millennial doofus who figured out you can lose weight by eating salads, or is he the pudgy bearded millennial doofus with horrible teeth, or is he the pudgy bearded millennial doofus who couldn’t successfully book flights for his honeymoon or is he McBone? It’s hard to keep track of all these wacky call screeners.
Tyler Broadman may turn out to be a decent play-by-play man once he completes puberty, but his fake radio voice and Connecticut School of Broadcasting cadence make me want to ram my score keeping pencil in my ears. This a tough one, but McCarthy squeezes by.

01/15/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Meet the new boss…

The zippered vest is to Mike Vrabel as the hoodie is to Bill Belichick.

For all the shitty things Kraft has done, the media turning on him for the Rooney Rule is like the Feds getting Al Capone on tax evasion.

It’s nice to see WEEI take advantage of Ted’s work release program.

Vrabel is very well-spoken for a Macedonian.

Man, I don’t know what to think about that vulgar Philly fan getting cancelled. Wait; yes I do.

I have written and deleted 500 tweets in an attempt to comment on this. I think Big Cat is a tremendous talent. I’m just not sure who he really is now, which I think is understandable for anyone.

Derrick Henry was good at football even when he was in high school.

Laura Rutledge has really impressive command of CFB and NFL, it’s not easy to have that for two leagues with all the moving parts.

Being a sports radio cvnt is the only profession where you can baselessly lie about other people, face no consequences and then take a victory lap when the people you lied about call you on your bullshit.

Ryan Day has done the impossible – make America support Notre Dame.

Trent Frederic just killed a guy.

Christian Arcand has been in more time slots than Ted Danson.

Cakes are cooking for Andrea Martin, Howard Twitty, Charo, Bob Clearmountain, Randy White, Mario Van Peebles, Bernard Hopkins, Lisa Lisa (Velez), Adam Burt, Delino DeShields, Regina King, Mike Minter, Mary Pierce, Eddie Cahill, Drew Brees, Howie Day, Pitbull, Pete McNulty, Skrillex, Brennan Bernadino, and Triston Cassas.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Ok. I make a variety of baked goods so there is something for everybody.”

People gotta stop calling it a doink. Clearly more of a reverberating thud sound.

No straight guy has ever said “wifey material.”

For pity’s sake Thornton, try to show a tiny bit of self-respect.

A great thing about the Big 12’s massive re-alignment is that we have rotated in a whole bunch of new broadcasters. Old ones were kind of wearing thin.

Orange Line Reminder: Beginning at 8:30 PM Friday, January 17, through end of service Monday, January 20 (Martin Luther King, Jr. Day). Shuttle Buses replace service between North Station and Oak Grove due to MassDOT bridge work.

What a weird coincidence that somebody named Vanya Sax is so good at playing the saxophone. Reminds me of Trombone Shorty. I guess some things were just meant to be.

Gotta say, I love Mike Evans. Complete professional. What a player.

The Lowell Lock Monsters deserved a longer run. Also, can we get a garage sale going at LeLacheur?!? I know they’ve got some extra Spinners hats over there somewhere.

I look at her and she looks at me.
In her eyes I see the sea.
I don’t see what she sees in a man like me
She says she loves me.

Her eyes.
Yeah, her eyes.
Her eyes are a blue million miles.

Far as I can see.
She loves me.

Her eyes.
Her eyes.
Yeah, her eyes are a blue million miles.

It’s cold but not record cold. The weather types are never happy with a .300 hitter, they want everyone to be .396 30 HR 120 RBI.

Ted beat the competition for the job and his wife.

How old is Blackburn? Probably early 30s? I can even imagine “adopting” a sports team nowhere near where I live that I have no association with in my late 20s. Only thing he should be adopting is a Chinese baby.

Uppy thinks Breer and Bedard are Patriots insiders. Sad.

Arcand has filled more shifts than Gordie Howe.

Honk if you remember Hana Mandlíková breaking Martina Navratilova’s 54 match winning streak.

‘Modern Family’ really is a top five show ever made, man.

BSO has nothing to do with sports outside of “(Famous athlete’s) baby mama done seen messing around with Lil’ Chingo’s weavemaker in Ben’s Chili Bowl.”

The only reason Wolfe is staying is because he’s accepting of the Krafts dark financial secrets and they are criminally cheap.

UMiami has a black kid named Schwartz.

I’ll have an occasional vodka drink, maybe some wine. But mostly Cumberland Farm drugs for me.

Going to Aldi is like visiting that parallel dimension from ‘Fringe’, or the Mentos ads.

Mayo can’t even keep his wife in line and there’s some who wanted him to lead a football team? IJATQ.

Fun Fact: “Ben” in Chinese means “stupid.”

What is shameful about Newton?

Red Sox have acquired catcher Blake Sabol from the San Francisco Baseball Giants.

Fumbling your one shot at the #1 pick, let alone while knowing the alternative was #4 by letting the guy you were going to fire coach the game is so pathetic.

Nothing says classic Big East like two shit ass midwestern colleges in a barn burner, amirite?

Ted Johnson probably has dozens of thoughts of the state of the Red Sox!

Best bet for the weekend: Lamar Jackson looking miserably cold.

Many excellent choices.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. This was my MJ flu game.

And happy Birthday to actress-singer Dove Cameron, who apparently played the roles of both Liv AND Maddie.

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