The 15

Upton Bell still Call the holiday Decoration Day. Admiral Dewey Once gave Bert Bell a Commendation For bravery. Bert Bell is Upton’s father.

Last longer, Johnny Depp trial!

Jason Tatum is First Team All-NBA for no other reason than there can’t be 2 players from the same position on the All-NBA team.

Don’t look now, but your Big Swingin’ Red Sox have crept within only ten games out of first place!

Daniel Theis looks like he’s from Malden.

Cakes are cooking for Mike Myers, Stefka Kostadinova, Bill Haselman, Ruthie Bolton, Natalie Schneyder, Cillian Murphy, Brian Urlacher, and Aly Raisman.

Uodate: Emergency cake cooking for The Great Kid David Pastrňák as well.

Blue horseshoe loves crypto.

Get well soon, torn ACL Connecticut Sun lady.

If you had picked legendary baseball writer Roger Angell in the 2022 Death Pool, it would have penalized you a point when he died at the age of 101. Why would you have done that?

The Heat gamin’ the system??

I’m genuinely excited to buy brand new cologne today. Like no kidding I can’t wait. I’m a grown man excited to just being able to buy myself cologne and smell even better. I’m just weird, I don’t know, but I’m pumped.

Pro Tip: You can add periods to your Gmail address for cosmetic spacing purposes. You’ll still receive the emails as normal.

Yes, yes, Early Voting- Epicenter-Creative Minister was the W/P/S at the Preakness Stakes. But why is it called that?

News Item: Subway’s sweet onion sauce has been discontinued.

Hey gang that is part of an organized team, this week’s Phrase that pays is “Months. Away.”

Got a flyer in the mail for a new restaurant advertising a Sunday ‘Bottomless Brunch.’ That sounds exclusionary at best, and a hate crime at worst.

American Honda will voluntarily recall 4,346 Honda Accord (2021), CR-V (2021-2022), Insight (2022) and Ridgeline (2021) vehicles in the United States to replace the rear center seat belt assembly, for free. Certain incorrectly manufactured rear center seat belt assemblies may not allow activation of the automatic locking retractor function required to install certain child safety seats, potentially increasing the risk of injury to occupants in a crash. Honda has not received any report of injury related to this issue, which was discovered during quality inspections at a Honda factory.

You got this, Steven Tyler.

I remember – date and time
September 22nd Sunday twenty-five after nine
In the doorway
With your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces.

I know! I’ll use a picture of Rick and/or Morty to illustrate my excellent point! Look at me; I’m hashtagging!

A. Route One is 2369 miles in length.

Orange Line: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to police activity at Wellington. Trains may be asked to stand by at stations.

I’m hearing that koala medicine treats monkeypox.

Pittsburgh native and #Eagles VP of Player Personnel Andy Wiedl is slated to be named #Steelers’ new assistant GM, multiple sources around the league tell me. That means signs point to longtime Steelers exec Omar Khan emerging as winner of the search to replace Kevin Colbert.

A gut check match is on tap for the Revs versus Philadelphia Union, who sit atop Conference East.

Honk if you remember Razcal Soda.

“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” — Joseph Conrad

Please consider contributing to Chad Finn’s ‘Donruss to Donbas’ charitable endeavor.

I am also questionable for Game 5.

Move over, Dick Clark—Big Jim Murray is America’s oldest, fattest, most miserable teenager.

All my apes are gone babe.

Best bet for the weekend: the Indianapolis Motor Speedway once again at full capacity. Vroomy-vroom-vroom!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Please Celebrate Responsibly.

Don’t feel bad if you had no idea this season’s Celtics team was this good. After all, you had to depend the local media to keep you informed as to that.

Say hello to your fourth place Boston Red Sox! Suck it, Baltimore!

The Bruins were a nice story for the first two weeks in May, but now it’s time for the Celtics in the NBA Playoffs, I think that’s how you have to look at it.

Gino Cappelletti. OOTG’s. He will be missed.

Chris Paul just wins everywhere he goes except Wake Forest and New Orleans and Los Angeles and Houston and Oklahoma City and Phoenix.

Wilfert!

‘You only think Grant Williams is good because he had a career-defining Game Seven performance’, isn’t the killshot you think it is, stupid.

Cakes are cooking for Reggie Jackson, Rick Wakeman, Rodger Davis, Jeana Yeager, Yun Fat Chow, Jari Kurri, Yannick Noah, Ingo Schwichtenberg, and Martika.

Betting is such a scam. You lose money if you don’t get it right.

Maybe the Patriots beat writers can convince a Make-A-Wish kid they really don’t want to meet The Rock, they want to know the exact responsibilities of each NE Assistant and positional coach.

How many points did Giannis and Fredo Antetokounmpo combine for in Game Seven?

Chlor-Trimeton!

i get it, nba and nhl playoffs etc….but i can’t recommend much higher than the height of the softball postseason, which we are rapidly approaching

Blue Line Update: Regularly scheduled train service has resumed between Airport and Bowdoin. There will be temporary speed restrictions in place between Airport and Maverick to allow the track and ballast to properly settle.

Did Al Horford get Ken Mattingly-ed?

The 15 have a tight 45 minute set prepared for any and all Tom Brady Roasts. DM’s are open.

Attention media, slow your roll with gaffer taping a gold watch into Patrice Bergeron’s hand and shoving him onto the nearest ice floe.

A tie is better than a loss, Revs. And it’s worth a point, just like a draw!

I would urge you all to be as tolerant as you can be of baseball’s new rules. The game has some issues. They’re trying to work on it. Give them a little space.

Malicious compliance! Fie!

Hey gang of libertines, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “No I was angling for it and the other chick was like come back to our room and drink and I’m like ‘let me get my wife’, but the shuttle had left so we missed it and I was annoyed and it was all downhill from there.”

I remember when Pasta was a Good Kid. What am I saying, he’s still a Good Kid!

American Honda will voluntarily recall approximately 725,000 Passport (2019), Pilot (2016-2019) and Ridgeline (2017-2020) vehicles in the United States to reinforce each vehicle’s hood striker area and inspect the hood for potential related damage. If related damage is found outside of the hood striker area, that hood will be replaced for free. No related crashes or injuries have been reported in relation to this issue.

I am laughing out in the loud.

The Titans and first round WR Treylon Burks have agreed to terms on his 4-year, $14,369,590 fully guaranteed contract with a fifth-year team option. Rookie contracts coming together quickly.

Tom Cruise is a very polarizing individual these days.

News Item: Alex Cora is reportedly pleased with encouraging updates that Chris Sale ‘recognizes what a baseball is almost six time out of ten’ during workouts.

It’s a wonderful time to be here
It’s nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair
Makes me want to say
It’s a wonderful place
It’s a wonderful place
It’s a wonderful place
For you
For you
For you

I guess we really aren’t getting that Remo Williams sequel now. RIP, Fred Ward.

What an odd hat to be wearing in this weather.

Honk if you remember Mount St. Helens.

A positive from the Bruins first round exit; I can go back to forgetting that Billy Jaffe exists.

A: Charlie Burdge.

JUST IN: U.S. Soccer has reached a deal to pay the men’s and women’s national teams equally, eliminating a contentious pay gap that saw female players earning less.

Break up the Birmingham Stallions!

Ime became a good coach the minute he figured out when to call time outs.

Nothing quite like the atmosphere of driving to the south shore to play soccer on a turf field in an industrial park.

School principals just sit around all day.

Boras: X gon have to wait until the season is complete to discuss any contract extension.

Best bet for the weekend: Tulsa golf.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. A real romantic place.