Category Archives: From the 15 Vault

From The 15 Vault – Even More Little-Known Beantown (and Foxborough) Sports Facts!

 (Originally published June 3, 2020)

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Were it not for a rat inside the left field ‘monster’ wall, NBC’s camera might not have captured Carlton Fisk waving his famed home run fair in the 12th inning of Game 6 of the World Series in 1975!

Bruins player Mike Milbury once went into the stands, and beat a fan with his own shoe!

The Boston Marathon was first run in April 1897, and has never had to be cancelled!

Robert Kraft was once a co-owner of the Boston Lobsters franchise in World TeamTennis!

Wade Boggs was an avowed fan of poultry, specifically chicken!

Brockton calls itself ‘The City of Champions!’

Game On! is a little hole in the wall type of pub at Fenway with a speakeasy kind of vibe.

The Old Boston Garden had numerous ‘obstructed view’ seats, from which seeing the entire playing area was quite difficult!

NFL veteran head coach Duane Charles “Bill” Parcells did not provide respectability for the New England Patriots franchise upon his hiring!

Bruins standout Cam Neely once got a bunch of goals in a certain number of games on a bum leg, caller!

Red Sox Captain Jason Varitek caught four no-hitters!

Hundreds of college hockey fans were stranded at the Old Boston Garden during the 1978 Beanpot tourney because of a blizzard!

Celtics player Cedric Maxwell actually was rarely called Cedric. Most people called him “Corn”!

Ted Williams was not voted the American League Most Valuable player in 1941, despite hitting .406!

PV = nRT!

Boston Beer Company honcho Jim Koch stated in a radio interview that he thought Tom Brady should just accept his four game suspension from “Deflategate!” What an asshole!

In 1972, daredevil Evel Knievel jumped his motorcycle over the big bridge connecting New Hampshire & Maine!

When with the Red Sox, pitcher Roger ‘Rocket’ Clemens twice struck out a record twenty batters in a nine-inning game!

Jesus Saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound!

The Ted Williams Tunnel is in fact named after the Splendid Splinter!

The Boston Patriots played their home games one season at Harvard Stadium!

Cambridge Rindge and Latin basketball phenom Patrick Ewing was never going to play for Boston College, stupid!

The Head of the Charles Regatta started all the way back in 1965!

In 1986 Wade Boggs once injured himself trying to remove his cowboy boots!

During WWII, future President John Fitzgerald Kennedy proved himself an accomplished swimmer! His younger brother Edward in 1969; not so much!

Prior to the 21st century, Beantown was so victory-starved, they held a parade for former Bruin Ray Bourque, who won a Stanley Cup as a member of the Colorado Avalanche! Sad!

In 1982, prizefighting middleweight Marvin Nathaniel Hagler legally changed his name to Marvelous Marvin Hagler!

A power failure occurred at the Old Boston Garden during the 1988 Stanley Cup Final between the Bruins and the eventual champion Edmonton Oilers!

Natick excels at being unsporting – just ask Framingham!

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick owns a boat which he renamed VIII Rings after winning Super Bowl LIII!

Chuck Connors, TV’s “The Rifleman” played 53 games for the Boston Celtics!

You can trace a direct line in left field at Fenway from Ted to Yaz to Rice to Greeny, then a JAG or two to Manny, to a whole bunch of other JAG’s to Benny!

Follow Mr. Darden at @StdSportswriter on Twitter.

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From The15 Vault – 2020 Memorial Day Playlist

(Originally Published May 23, 2020) 

New Normal?

(Dear BJBSJ Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is a musical playlist for your Memorial Day enjoyment. Click HERE to download. Songs to enjoy as you stay six feet apart and not on the dunes. Suggestions for a third disk are welcomed.)

Disk One:

1.Lucille/The Girl Can’t Help It – Little Richard (Live in Boston 1970)

2. Use Me – Bill Withers

3. Chinese Duplicity – Dry Coughing

4. You Are What Your Record Says You Are – The Silverized Tracksuits

5. A Wee Dram of Vacation – The Irish Rovers

6. Cowboy From New Canaan – Kelbo Thompkins and the 200 Line

7. Ghost/Tosser – The Erhardt/Perkins Progression

8.Leaving Las Vegas – The Dearly Bedarded

9. Social Distance Dance – Men Without Masks

10. Kites To Kevin – MCLC

11. Grandma Got Run Over By a Jeeple – JimBot01960

12. Can’t Exceed the CBT Blues – The Baseball Paperists

13. The Belichick, The – Sideshow Ben

14. For Carl It’s Worth It – Buffalo2Springfield

15. When I’m Small – Phantogram

16. For Your Muff – The Yardale Birds

17. The Ballad of Tom And Yoko – The Tompa Baytles

18. Brianna’s Mom – Fountains of Dave

19. You’re Here To See Me – Joe West Coast

20. [S]he got game – Ty Tell9ine with W.A. Brown

21. Sunshine (Is the Best Disinfectant) – The Goodman Orange Project

22. Watermelon Sugar – Harry Styles

Disc Two:

23. Unsirius (Boston Sports Journal Entrance Music) – Casio SK1 Ensemble

24. Pasta88 – Jackie Brenston and the Good Kids

25. Brown’s Sugars – the Golan Stones

26. Ice Ain’t Lit – Vlad Ducasse Reporting As Eligible

27. Lucille – Kenny Rogers

28. Was Daily Now Weekly – The Sad Onions

29. COVID Bug Killed the Culinary Star – Jenny & the Krylonettes

30. Mister Postman – The Sals

31. America (Wasn’t Built To Be Shut Down) – Ron Muskmelon Catamount

32. Literally Crying (Johnny Pesky) – Gabs and the Starfish

33. Chess King Calculus – Gord Marley and The Whalers

34. Oh Tawm (You’re Out) – Fictional Friction

35. Turtle Turtle Black Thumbs Up – No Consequence

36. Who’s Ducking Who? – Kyrie and the Flat Earth Warriors

37. Instant Tattoo Analysis – The Ol’ 97 Percenters

38. Zoinks! – The Plain Black Hats

39. Visualization Of The Space Mind Gargamel: An Abundance of Caution – Dero Spedes

40. YYZ – Rush

41. TB12’s Travelling Pliability Show – Joe “Ol’ Foot Locker” McBanjodick

42. When You’re Smiling – Eddie Peabody

A trans-WordPress cooperative collaboration with BSMW.net, who had it first before we had it first.

From the 15 Vault – 11/27 (2019) Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

SKWANTOE!!! DEAD FISH PLANT WIT CORN SEEDES??? WHAT IS THE REASONING!?!?!?!?

Huit contre un? Sacre moo!

So, did the NFL tell the Cowboys that they shouldn’t have called the tripping, or, that they weren’t penalties? Because those are two different things.

Dame Fashion says denim suits come back into vogue in 2020.

Woo Sox. Woo Sox? Woo Sox.

Someone should ask Coach Bill if it’s always smart to have recency bias in the NFL.

I wonder why Upton Bell doesn’t correct his friend Bootleg Barnicle when the latter mentions recently shopping at long-closed retail establishments. Isn’t he concerned about his chum’s mental acuity?

Kyrie. No profiles in courage there.

The ‘this is what happens if you try to deep fry a frozen turkey’ warning videos are better than the ‘dangers of fireworks’ warning videos.

Cakes are cooking for Manolo Blahnik, William Fichtner, and Adam Archuleta.

No shame in losing your first game so far to last year’s champs, UMass.

Maybe Patrick Mahomes should announce he now fully identifies as a Fraggle to earn back some of the attention Lamar Jackson pilfered from him.

I wonder if they listen to Alice’s Restaurant on Thanksgiving at Gerry’s.

B’s sign Coyle & Wagner to multi-year extensions? Why not?

I liked things better when nostalgia wasn’t as prevalent.

The Woo Sox are so going to have a Ric Flair Night, aren’t they?

Excited to see how the Patriots play in decent weather with Wynn and a reconstituted receiving corps.

Plymouth Rock is underwhelming. There, I said it.

This is probably the last Thanksgiving you can show up with a carton of menthols in a single use plastic bag as your hostess gift.

Well played, Stephen F. Austin.

Beagles really can’t be trained to expertly butter toast, no matter what that Charlie Brown special implied.

Del, what are you doing here? You said you were going home, what are you doing here?

Get well soon Kemba…, wait, he’s playing? Good. Never mind.

Honk if you remember Costello.

Running backs are fun, they are not fungible.

To be fair, I think that Samurai Johnson guy learned to speak English by watching Don Rickles YouTube clips.

Can’t handle the heat, cupcake?

So are the people who put up the hand-lettered flyers looking to buy diabetic test strips the same people who buy houses?

Best bet for the weekend: turkey tetrazzini.

From the 15 Vault – Guest Column – Spoiler Alert!

( Originally published November 25th, 2020 at BJBSJournal.com )

Note- Mr. Scartelli has the day off. Please enjoy this submission assembled by his co-workers at Spoiler Alert!, an aftermarket spoiler sales and installation shop in Plainville.

Warning: Spoilers to Follow.

Spoiler Alert: it’s a Prius gamely chugging uphill that’s causing the five mile long slowdown on the Pike.

Spoiler Alert: Boston is in no danger of once again becoming a college football town.

Spoiler Alert: you’re not important enough to receive one of the first doses of the CoVid-19 vaccine.

Spoiler Alert: good seats will still be available at America’s Most Beloved Ballpark.

Spoiler Alert: 50,000,000 Elvis fans CAN be wrong.

Spoiler Alert. it’s not the tryptophan in the turkey that made you pass out on the couch.

Spoiler Alert: Asian women do not have an extra muscle.

Spoiler Alert: you aren’t going to ever use the ‘fax’ feature on your home printer.

Spoiler Alert: no one has hit a 565 foot home run. Ever.

Spoiler Alert: the late Albert DeSalvo may not be responsible for the so-called Boston Strangler slayings.

Spoiler Alert: Brie Larson has a flat ass.

Spoiler Alert: it’s possible to go south on 93 and north on 128 at the same time!

Spoiler Alert: there never was a Loyko Investigation.

Spoiler Alert: Russ isn’t running his socials.

Spoiler Alert: ‘painter of light’ Thomas Kinkaide? A bit of a hack.

Spoiler Alert: the first thanksgiving took place in 1621 and was not a traditional feast of thanks but merely a celebration of a bountiful harvest.

Spoiler Alert: Elle Duncan? Not white!

Spoiler Alert. ‘Corinthian leather’ is not actually a thing.

Spoiler Alert: Pat Burns? Still dead.

Spoiler Alert: yes, AAPL has devised a way to remote drain the battery on your old iPhone in tandem with the release of a new iPhone model.

Spoiler Alert: Sixto looks nothing like Big Papi.

Spoiler Alert: the broad hosting the true crime podcast is in love with the suspect.

Spoiler Alert: Jim Nantz is not your friend.

Spoiler Alert: the Automile in Norwood is actually almost three miles in length.

Spoiler Alert: North American Sports Commissioners are not required to be from New York City!

Spoiler Alert: Len Bias may have sampled cocaine prior to June of 1986.

Spoiler Alert: Mary Ann’s sucked.

Spoiler Alert: Paul Revere did not act alone: he was actually one of several riders on April 18, 1775.

Spoiler Alert: of course that stripper likes you; you just gave her $300.

Spoiler Alert: Bridget pulled the goalie, as it were.

Spoiler Alert: it’s a sled.

Spoiler Alert: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving won a makeup call Emmy.

Spoiler Alert: Chuck Stuart had help getting off that bridge.

Spoiler Alert: the song title is ‘Your Love’.

Spoiler Alert: the Plymouth Rock you see today is like George Washington’s tomahawk.

Spoiler Alert: BJBSJ – Always First.

“Look at that” – Scott Zolak, when on the radio.

Be sure to stop by Spoiler Alert! off Industrial Avenue in Plainville for all your aftermarket spoiler needs.