Football Cat is back. And not in pog form, losers.
FRIDAY PROWLTIME (bonus)
Packers vs Eagles (-2.5)
American Birds win by default after Corinthians’ ultras hijack the Meat Men’s team bus.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
Steelers vs Falcons (-3.5) The Birds of Prey better start praying. The Men of Steel pull off the upset.
Patriots vs Bengals (-6.5) Stripey Cats win in a laugher. Boston beat writers look the other way when offered an extra slice of cold Papa Gino’s pizza and a room temperature Bud Light.
Needs a neon North Star*.
Cardinal vs Bills (-6.5) Red Birds get stampeded by Hairy Cows. Let’s feast on their tasty wings.
Titans vs Bears (-4.5) As stated so eloquently last season: “Tits may be ass.”
Anne Francis, her TV character Honey West had a pet ocelot.
Jaguars vs Dolphins (-3.5) Spotty Cats feast on the Tua Fish.
Jaguars can swim.
Texans (-3) vs Colts Houston will not have a problem.
Panthers vs Saints (-4) To quote Shukri Wright(s) “if you think Carolina is going to win the division, I have a can of corn to sell you!”
Vikings (-1.5) vs Giants Bill Belichick’s dream job may be closer than it appears. Giants lose.
We journey to Jotunheim to battle the frost giants!
DINNER TIME
Raiders vs Chargers (-3) Brother Jim’s charges zap Tom Brady’s Raiders.
Cowboys vs Browns (-2.5) In Enid Blyton’s “Book of Brownies”, a mischievous trio of brownies named Hop, Skip, and Jump attempt to sneak into a party hosted by the King of Fairyland by pretending to be Twirly-Whirly, the Great Conjuror from the Land of Tiddlywinks, and his two assistants.
Dallas prevails.
Broncos vs Seahawks (-6) The False Seabirds win the Russell Wilson Memorial Classic.
Commanders vs Buccaneers (-3.5) Commies keep pace with Patriots in the battle for the first overall pick on the 2025 NFL draft.
OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Rams vs Lions (-3.5) Big Cats feast on juicy mutton kneecaps. Fetlocks? Lamb hocks?
MONDAY PROWLTIME
Jets vs 49ers (-4.5) Prospectors take down Planes. Achilles tendons may be intact, but hearts are broken throughout Queens.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Foxborough, MA – In a month where the New England Patriots have made headlines with roster shuffles and preseason preparations, one figure has remained a constant in the eyes of the team and its fans: Jerod Mayo. The former linebacker turned coach continues to evolve into a leadership role that many now believe is poised to become more than just defensive coordination — it’s a head coach in waiting. It’s no secret that Bill Belichick has long been grooming Mayo for greater things. Patriots media releases this past month have emphasized Mayo’s involvement not only in defensive schematics but in shaping the entire team’s culture. More than once, Belichick has praised his former Pro Bowler’s football acumen, referring to him as “one of the sharpest minds” to come through the Patriots’ system. But what’s been equally telling is the way Mayo carries himself in the locker room, stepping into a role that goes beyond X’s and O’s.
A Natural Leader
Patriots fans remember Mayo for his tenacity on the field, his ability to dissect offenses as if he were already coaching. Now, as a coach, his instincts are proving even more valuable. Media releases over the past month have highlighted Mayo’s increasing presence during practice, not just with the defense but across the entire roster. In one report, Mayo was seen working closely with young quarterbacks, helping them understand defensive coverages, showing his breadth of knowledge on both sides of the ball. This is where Mayo’s leadership shines. He’s not just building a defense — he’s building a football team. And that’s exactly what this Patriots squad needs in a season filled with question marks. At 37, Mayo is still relatively young by coaching standards, but his command of the locker room is undeniable. According to sources close to the team, players gravitate toward him in a way that reflects both respect and admiration. He’s part strategist, part motivator, and entirely a team-first guy.
The Belichick Blueprint
What makes Mayo’s rise so exciting for Patriots fans is the undeniable parallels to his mentor, Bill Belichick. Like Belichick, Mayo has a meticulous approach to the game. He’s known for breaking down film until the early hours of the morning, and it shows on the practice field. In the latest media release, Patriots personnel commented on how Mayo has taken on more responsibilities, particularly in developing game plans and overseeing all three phases of the game — not just the defense. The Belichick coaching tree is extensive, but few have had the opportunity to learn directly under the greatest coach of all time while playing and coaching. It’s this dual experience that separates Mayo. The Patriots are known for cultivating homegrown talent, and in many ways, Mayo is the epitome of that philosophy.
Subtle.
What’s Next?
So, what does the future hold for Jerod Mayo? It’s not a stretch to say that many around the league view him as a head coach in waiting. With Belichick’s career winding down, Mayo has increasingly become the face of the future in New England. And if the Patriots’ latest media releases are any indication, it’s a future that’s bright. In one interview last week, when asked about his ambitions, Mayo was predictably modest: “I’m just focused on helping this team win games.” But ask anyone in the Patriots organization, and they’ll tell you Mayo’s impact is already evident — and it’s just the beginning.
North Star!
Note: Old Friend ‘Uncle Gizmo’ took a cue from the latest Entitled Town podcast. He input into ChatGPT: “I’d like to create a story in the current style of Albert Breer. It would be a glowing story about New England Patriots coach Jerod Mayo and would use as it’s base Patriots media releases for the last month.” The result is what you see above.
Our long national nightmare of Katie Nolan not being on TV is over.
The Seminoles got wicked Sturrowed! #lol
Jarren Duran being the only guy to not tap out is quite the 180 from two years ago.
Jerod sooo wanted to wear a C as a player.
Johnny Gaudreau seemed to be too nice a guy to have gone to BC. Very sad.
My fantasy football draft strategy? Just vibes.
Cakes are cooking for Ken Harrelson, Ray Floyd, Tom Watson, Martin Chambers, Blackie Lawless, Khandi Alexander, George Hurley, Damon Wayans, John Vanbiesbrouck, Tomas Sandström, Mike Piazza, Ione Skye, Wes Bentley, Pat Neshek, Beyoncé, Hildur Guðnadóttir, Kaillie Humphries, and Olha Kharlan.
Additionally, Brother John Irons is also entitled to a cake today.
Red Line Reminder: September 6-29 No Train service between JFK/UMass and Braintree due to track work. Commuter Rail alternatives are available. Shuttle buses will not service JFK/UMass.
What made you think Jaylen got hacked? Weird tweets?
Hard to believe a health nut like (checks notes) Fatman Scoop just collapsed like that. RIP.
I need to know who the IU and Purdue are of the ACC.
The most effective fly swatter I have ever tried is a rolled-up bath towel. The hitting surface is like ten times larger than fly swatter, and it tends to stun them without smashing them and creating little blood spots.
Do you guys remember how fun it used to be to ask questions?
Hey gang of accountability experts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “a frustrated Rafael Devers sat with a bat for about 40 minutes staring into his locker.”
Triston Casas exists within a vibe and the vibeless cannot stand him for it.
Who is your personal favorite San Diego Padres prospect who never really made it? Someone who never reached Majors or never got much opportunity to play. I’ll go with Dennis Tankersley. So close to Eck! Had to root for him. But he did nothing to earn more opportunity.
Every time Joe Furey is on TV it seems like the first time ever.
Maybe the racially ambiguous bull dykes shouldn’t goon up on the nice white lady? Just a thought.
Brian Kelly looks like a general contractor that’s always bringing you bad news.
Count me among the Tiafoe fans. Love the way he plays tennis.
Sometimes, in a quiet moment, I’ll be listening to the cicadas, and I’ll get lost in thought and remember that the Boston Celtics won the 2024 NBA Finals and have the most titles in NBA history.
Now look at the people In the streets, in the bars We are all of us in the gutter Some of us are looking at the stars Look ’round the room Life is unkind We fall but we keep gettin’ up Over and over and over…
Me and you, every night, every day. We’ll be together always this way. Your eyes are blue like the heavens above. Talk to me darlin’, with a message of love.
Denver Broncos and two-time Pro-Bowl CB Patrick Surtain ll reached agreement today on a four-year, $96 million extension that includes $77.5 million guaranteed, now making him the highest-paid defensive back in NFL history. Tory Dandy of CAA negotiated the deal.
Katie Nolan won’t stop until she’s fired from every sports outlet in North America.
Franklin Park Zoo lights: Super cool.
The current condition of Ponkapoag must have Donald Ross rolling around in his grave.
Taylor Mathis doesn’t realize she could walk around reading the ingredients for raisins and her followers would not give a hoot. Not one hoot.
Honk if you remember Tom Tupa scoring the first 2-point conversion in NFL history.
Oh yeah, Chris Gasper. There’s your answer.
News Item: Former Patriots wide receiver Danny Amendola joining ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
When selling a home, I tell all my clients, “Hide your Fluff.”
Except for hockey, the C on the jersey always triggers me. It was so lame when Varitek wore it, and the NFL gays it up another level with the stars, always loved that Bill wouldn’t allow it. It’s just another reminder how the Kraft’s are hellbent on distancing themselves from the greatest coach of all time. Complete loser asshole behavior.
Chris Sale was doing his best impression of Eric Idle in European Vacation last year and now he’s pitching like a gentile Koufax.
Best bet for the weekend: Tennessee Volunteer Charles Davis handling Tennessee Volunteer Jerod Mayo with kid gloves during Sunday’s broadcast.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Lebron and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Message of love.
The Immaculate Grid, Boston sports media edition. This week’s theme, in honor of Labor Day: Jobs, old ones, new ones, and the lack thereof.
There may only be one answer, and you can’t use anyone more than once. The15 merchandise (& other) prize giveaways will continue for the best solution!
(Dear The15net dot com Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is the musical playlist for your Labor Day weekend enjoyment, now back on its even-numbered year release schedule. Assorted Songs of Work and Toil, Songs of Celebration & Songs of Summer’s Departing. Click HERE to download.)
The Chicken Washer Blues – Seve Providenza
Whistle While You Work – Doris Burke
Jarren Can You Hear Me? – The Wu (From the Wok Opera concept album)
Tainted Pool – Carny & the Shysters
I Line Up Wrong (Then Line Up Wrong Again) – Chukwuma
Bananic Monday – The Camgles
No shirt, no source, no problem – Gabby Starr
Working 9 to 9:05 – Yeho Shua
Dog is Good Food – Not Dead Kennedys
Jerod’s OPTUM Eyes – CRIS-Zero
Main Theme to ‘Oi! Yer Mum’s an Ironmonger!’ – Smush
Permanent Vacation – Dork Brandon
F-F-F-Flipping Burgers – Gresh
I ran my boyfriend over with my Lexus – Karen Read
Hammertime – Robyn G.
I Kissed A Girl (Allegedly) – Kendra Middleton
Not Workin’ for a Livin’ – Greg Dickerson and the Old News
Robot Caddy – Big Doxxing Manny
Bang the Replies All Day – Steve (R)undrgren
I Disappear – Deplorable Kenny
Walking on Broken Glass Eyeballs – Annie Mooreside
Pumpkin Spice SZN – Average White Girl
Sign The Butchie (He’s a Right-Hand Bat) – Murph & the Magic Chefs
Money For Nothing -Gabby Starrs
A Rock Hard Day’s Night -The Beaters
Don’t Stop Bleav-ing and such – Shukrey
The Boy With the Busted Taillight in His Side – The Reads
Forty Six and 2 Dozen Eggs- HillBHLy Elegy
Mac Daddio – Half Miles Davis
Woman Is the My Man of the World – Chibbs and the Bof Fri Fleu
Pickleball NIMBYS – Swellesley Falmouth
Starch Flim-Flam – Red Spud & the Nutmeggers
The Lost Trophy Blues – Walter & Isobel
Rich Girl – Gabby and Starr
Take This Job Application and Shove It – Gregory Dickerson Coe
Gas Station Squadoosh – Mollusk
96 Meniscus Tears – …??? & the Mysterions, idiot
Swiss Cheese Umbrella – Lemonbags
Pancakes! – Li’l Skillet
Exotic Pets – Salamander Dander
Maggie’s Farm – Frank O’Harris’s Provisional Irish Republican Army Choir
Outside In – Wavering Trillburys
Deer Come Out of Nowhere (When You’re Doing Belly Shots Alone) – Das EFX and INXS (with Wreckx-N-Effect)
(Have a song suggestion? Or a compliment? Leave it in the comments!)
I hope everyone on the newly minted Patriots 53-man roster creates some SMART goals so we can track their progress during the season.
Hit that shtick-pilfering hussy with your wallet, Lucy!
Is it me, or was there less local media celebrating going on after Cutdown Day arrived so soon after WEEI axed Fauria and Gresh?
I don’t think the Red Sox are gonna make the playoffs.
Well, at least we can continue to read all of Meghan Ottolini’s columns!
I think Dave O’Brien just said ‘excape.’
Who confuses Hanson and Chumbawumba?
Welcome back, teachers.
Cakes are cooking for Lou Piniella, Ron Guidry, Daniel Stern, Rick Rossovich, Scott Hamilton, Emma Samms, Jennifer Coolidge, Rick Fehr, Lee Janzen, Satoshi Tajiri, Tom Fitzgerald, Jack Black, Pierre Turgeon, Janet Evans, Todd Eldredge, Jay Witasick, LeAnn Rimes, Armie Hammer, Florence Welch, and Ons Jabeur.
So, the Sox clam broadcast the other night? Perfect timing as the team was gushing blood everywhere.
Orange Line Reminder: Between 10 AM and 2 PM all Orange Line service between Forest Hills and Jackson Square will operate on the Oak Grove (Northbound) track. Riders should expect delays between 9 AM and 4 PM as personnel conduct this single track operation.
Hey gang of dubious eventual sexagenarians! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s not that complicated to figure out.”
Joe Milton III could have played on those 2014-2015 Royals teams where everyone threw 101.
“Suck on” violations aren’t a thing.
Most, if not all, aspiring rappers never achieve the complete life turnaround. Kudos to Chyna Whyte, or whoever.
Any of them starting left tackles get waived yet? Not yet? How about now?
Gresh has a very interesting quirk in his contract. Instead of the standard non-compete, they gave him a ‘please sign with the competitor’ clause.
Wanamatonomy was the hardest class I took in college, much more difficult than Neuroanatomy.
Bots write SI articles. You’re thanking a computer, Donny O!
Liking werewolf tweets isn’t a funny troll anymore. It’s providing Aid and Comfort to the Enemy.
Incredible but true! Ted Williams never once in his entire career had a timer violation called against him.
Best job in the industry is the guy who does all the imaging for the new shows that WEEI throws out there. Guaranteed jackpot of work every few months.
Introduce me to that big blonde. She’s got a touch of Tuesday Weld. She’s wearing Ambush and a French twist; She’s got us wild and she can tell. She loves to limbo, that much is clear; She’s got the right dynamic for the new frontier.
Wait Cheryl Hines is married to RFK Jr.? How did I miss this?
Roster cutdown reminder number 7 – Players on the team 4PM September 3rd get paid for Week 1. Making the initial roster on August 27th does not mean the player will get paid for Week 1.
Lou Damn Merloni fucking tries to retcon himself onto the ‘04 team.
Sid Vicious the wrestler won’t be down. Sid Vicious from the Sex Pistols? Also still dead. Wrestling Sid staying in character during the Shockmaster’s debut may be one of wrestling’s greatest achievements. RIP.
Angel Reese and Shaquille O’Neal. Like equals!
They discontinued my TGel? Just because of some alleged dioxins?
So the one thing I do miss about pre-parenthood life is going to dinner by myself Finding a well-researched Wikipedia article and just diving in while waiting for and consuming my food. Great times in the back booth reading about Stalingrad, or Dan Sickles.
Jarren Duran now has 42 doubles, 13 triples, 20 HR and 32 stolen bases. No other player in the history of baseball has done all of those things in one season.
Taxachusetts! Belichick: He’s just like one of us!
Next month marks one year since WWE signed Jade Cargill.
Honk if you remember Cla Meredith.
In the falls of justice, the only justice is in the falls. Sandy, can we get that on a magnet?
WEEI is paying Andy Hart in Lucky Charms.
Shouldn’t losing a baseball announcer be an error rather than a fumble?
Sign The Swayman!
World Health Organization reporting Zappe Fever has been eradicated.
Best bet for the weekend: the heaviest travel weekend yet.
What’s wrong with Ordillo thanking the SI writer Bots?
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friends jforb and Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Dog days are over.
And happy birthday to Canadian singer Shania Twain.
This is an accurate representation of all the important parts of the Greater Boston Area.
Welcome back to all the college and university students! And a particular welcome to our new and returning squad of student interns here at The15, both in the Greater Boston area and elsewhere:
Emily Olivia Anderson – ’25 University of Massachusetts – Boston
Peter Cates – ’26 Framingham State University
Caylee Chennault – ’26 Salem State University
Evie Dzodocz – ’25 Liberty University
Carla Fong – ’27 University of Connecticut
Wade Fuzzle – ’26 Assumption University
Stanley M. Grzbwczwcz – ’26 University of New Hampshire
Enkidu Jackson – ‘ 27 University of Massachusetts – Lowell
Raymond J. Johnson IV – ’26 Providence College
Bonnie Malfiglio – ’27 Emmanuel College
Seamus MacGuffin – ’27 Boston University
Sarafina Minicucci – ’26 Merrimack College
Thomas Poult – ’26 Bunker Hill Community College
Beatriz Emily Santos – ’26 Northeastern University
Tang Ting – ’27 Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Lawrence L. Trullbrooke – ’25 Boston College
We hope to learn as much from you, as you do from us. Remember: Knowledge Is Good.
Did Mayor Wu ever get that meeting with Jarren Duran?
Crazy that Andy Hart’s kid is pulling in his dad’s biweekly salary in a single weekend.
Happy Hour’s overdue return to the Commonweath shot down yet again? Another W for the Puritans.
A certain percentage of fans are going to treat WAR as a reliable estimate of a player’s value, no matter how obvious it is that it is wrong.
Adam 12, Deathcat Holley. Deathcat Holley, Adam 12.
The International Olympic Committee wants Jordan’s Chiles bronze medal back? Molṑn labé.
Veronica Burton…TD Garden, ten minutes court time, two rebounds, one assist. Zero points on 0 for 4 shooting…your thoughts?
I’m going to give Bedard the benefit of the doubt. It’s clear he meant to say, “Nip Cage is a goof.”
Cakes are cooking for Archie Griffin, Kim Cattrall, Kim Sledge, Jim McMahon, Carrie-Anne Moss, Josee Chouinard, Craig Counsell, Alicia Witt, Jason Marquis, Kelis Rogers-Jones, BJ Upton, Eve Torres, Laura Haddock, Usain Bolt, Kacey Musgraves, Hayden Panettiere, and Bo Burnham.
Love the idea that talking gambling while bouncing your your titties is some sort of intellectual property that needs protecting.
Hey gang of deck chair rearrangers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I don’t need to know anything about the radio losers’ lifestyles.”
I’m sure Bloomberg’s AM signal is already one of the 14 stations beating Jones and MegO, but will they really have more listeners than good old American rock n roll?
‘Keep off the moors and stick to the roads’ was the best advice I ever got in life.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Angel Reese has officially signed a sponsorship deal with Reese’s. Her first “Reese’s Pieces” apparel collection launches today.
Mayo’s “I have impostor syndrome” article from 2021 is a “boy did I outkick my coverage, hahaha!” humblebrag.
A “blend of lifestyle entertainment?” That should give Joansie the ratings he got at The Sports Hub with F&M as his lead-in.
I don’t care how many times you email me about it, I do not want two free weeks of Uber One.
If I’m Michelle Wu, I’m demanding a sit-down with Eliot Wolf right now.
Just saw a Dairy Queen commercial where they’re eating the Blizzards at home. Unless you live right next to the DQ this is a bad idea they melt fast in transit.
A fan with very poor sense of humor yelled “You need a tennis racket” with Duran at the plate Friday. Comedic value? 0 out of 10.
Fun Fact: Everett is not in Boston.
Spencer Torkelson would be a great name for a Professor of Paleontology. That is all.
Lifestyle and entertainment? What’s Keefe gonna do, talk about his Funko Pop collection?
Naming a cat Dr. Doom is great. But it’s especially great when the vet tech announces “Dr. Doom?” in a waiting room.
I only do my banking at Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg Bank.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.
Lord, we don’t need another meadow. There are cornfields and wheat fields Enough to grow. There are sunbeams and moonbeams Enough to shine. Oh listen Lord, if you want to know.
Frogger is an interesting game because at the highest level of play it’s possible to reach a board that’s not solvable, ending your game. It’s not a true kill screen, however, because with proper strategy that scenario can be avoided.
Two deep throws so far, two completions from Jordan Love to Romeo Doubs. The connection is real and has the potential to be spectacular.
Pochettino? Sounds delicious! Is it something a gaucho chuckwagon makes?
Honk if you remember Rick & Paul Reuschel becoming the first brothers to pitch a combined shut out.
The Pope doesn’t even have a rain gauge in the Vatican FFS.
I know more than a few people who would consider a standard big watermelon to be ‘personal sized.’
Golf swings and fantasy zings: Steve is a pop culture poster!
Oh sure, MegO, she’s obviously the problem. The least-smarmy of the three hosts.
The right Jennifer is out there for you Ben Affleck! Probably.
Maybe making someone other than a sullen, unpatriotic, cigar store Indian-looking player the face of the WNBA was a good thing.
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox hang tough.
Shu’s angry TikTok thumbnails all look like the last thing Tony Mazz sees before someone steals his car.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gresh? Fauria?
And happy birthday to Czech tennis player Karolína Muchová.
Not Simone. Not the gravity-defying surfer. She is the image of the Paris Games. And a no doubt about it Halloween costume.
Phew. Recovered from a massive DDOS attack.
So apparently the way to make Zolak finally shut the hell up is to make him the PBP guy.
My dad used to bring me to golf tournaments all the time when I was young. I’d chase conversations and autographs from players after practice rounds. Chi Chi Rodriguez was always among the nicest. I’ll always appreciate his role in those memories as I grew to love the game.
Would love it if Peacock/NBC created a 10- or 12-hour (even longer if necessary) rental or purchase of these past two weeks. Would love the opportunity to rewatch most of it on a cold New England winter night. Almost like a 8-part series even. Any format would be great. A best-of-the-Summer-Olympics movie to watch on a winter night.
Whoever first told Thornton he was funny has a lot to answer for.
Burger King’s croissan’wich is more French than France’s Men’s National Basketball Team.
The Aussies fair dinkum sent a kookaburra to an emu fight, mates!
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Juju Smith Schuster.
Oh good. The Jimmy Fund cross promotion. Now the Sox game is going to be dominated by dying kids and Dave O’Brien trying to fake empathy. “Hey, how bad was it to hear you had cancer as a teenager? And you said you had 4 different rounds of chemo before you were 12. I’ll bet that was rough.”
Cakes are cooking for Steve Martin, Susan Saint James, Terry Adams, Bob Backlund, Gary Larson, Debbie Meyer, Rusry Wallace, Jackée Harry, Magic Johnson, Frank Brickowski, Marcia Gay Harden, Mark Gubicza, Catherine Bell, Mark Loretta, Wayne Chrebet, Ana Matronic, Mike Vrabel, Juan Pierre, Mila Kunis, Tim Tebow, and Thorsten Margis.
Not happy the way that NASCAR race ended. Real amateur hour stuff.
Red Line Reminder: August 19-25 Shuttle Buses replace service between Kendall and JFK/UMass due to track work. Buses will not directly service Park Street or Downtown Crossing.
Hi @99Restaurants why do you advertise prime rib but then state it as being choice prime rib? It’s either one or the other.
Haliburton is gonna average 70 a game against Golden State next year.
Which is a better animal story—Kristi Noem’s dead dog or RFK Jr’s dead bear?
“North Star” is the new trendy business buzzword for people who talk but don’t actually do anything. I’ve been seeing it used a bunch, so it totally makes sense these dipshits in Foxboro followed along with it.
I ordered up a Mykhailiuk jersey the other day. Fuck.
Twain said that a cat who sits on a hot stove lid will never sit on a hot stove lid again–or a cold one, either. I imagine that quote doesn’t register with anybody under 60, because nobody uses wood stoves with little round lids you took off to put in another stick of firewood. In my childhood that was how we heated the house. But anyway, I always think that Alex Cora is more afraid of cold stove lids than. . .than he ought to be.
Not sure if it’s because they know bread or because Italy is down the street but pizza in France is sneaky good.
You gotta wait at least a month after a gay guy’s death to call someone a fag. Everybody know this.
My favorite Gabby Starr moment was when she tweeted about the Negro Leagues with a photo of her getting a tan. She deleted it soon after.
Can the whites claim Curry? It’s close. How many Blacks go by ‘Steph’ anyway?
Me And The Boys Just a bunch of guys gettin’ in the car don’t matter who’s drivin’ or for how far Feels so good feels so alive No backseat driver tellin’ us how to drive. Me and the Boys Just me and the Boys Me and the Boys Me and the Boys.
Hey gang of secret m-fanz, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Pink Rob really is MAD at goony Jim, for chrissakes!”
How many sacks did Karen Guregian get in the media game?
Honk if you remember Mark Fidrych.
Embiid looks like he’s made up of broken parts.
Everybody in the Red Sox bullpen looks like they’re in the Aryan brothers gang in ‘Mayor of Kingstown.’
Zolak’s sports coat buttons are gonna knock someone’s eye out.
Every pic I see of Jerod Mayo, his head looks like it was poorly photoshopped onto his body.
Gabz is at the beach more than Joe Biden.
Jarren needs to work on his insult game. Is there a Zoom class for that?
Don’t lie and say you don’t envy all those gleeful Olympians at the Closing Ceremony. I sure do.
Evan Lazar is such a goddamn slob. Can we start a GoFundMe to get him an iron?
$15 for a pineapple? Glad I brought my own.
What do you say to someone taking a shit right next to you in public? You can’t chastise him because if he’s crazy enough to shit in public he’s crazy enough to wipe his shit on you.
Meteor showers and aurora borealis and me sleeping through the whole thing.
Best bet for the weekend: No handball matches on the TV.
Taksmaster Kevin Sullivan 1949-2024.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. RC Cola and a Moon Pie.
The 15 