“Right now, they’re teetering on a mutiny in that locker room.”
Yesterday, during the broadcast of the ‘Catch-22’ podcast on the Patriots Podcast Network, (a part of the actual ‘Patriots Media Cartel’) Senior Reporter Evan Lazar offered his assessment of the tenor of the team’s mental state:
Right now, they’re teetering on a mutiny in that locker room. And I don’t want to be alarmist or like hyper, what’s the word? (Co-host Alex Barth: “Hyperbolic?”) I don’t want to speak for, yeah, hyperbolic, thank you, I don’t but I was in that locker room after the game on Sunday; the defense is mad at the defense, the offense is mad at the offense, you have young receivers who are literally throwing tantrums on film in Pop Douglas and Ja’Lynn Polk, and good on Pop Douglas owning that this weekend and kind of saying he’s got to be better and all that kinda stuff but I said this before and I’ll say it again you’re at the point now with 52 other guys in that locker room that all watch these two quarterbacks practice every single day and all know that they drafted Drake Maye 3rd overall and at what point in time do some of these guys say to themselves, “Why am I going out there and getting my butt kicked every single Sunday and Drake can’t? Like what am I going out there with the quarterback who can’t get me the football when we have the Ferrari back in the garage that can get me the football but I’m supposed to, I’m Ja’Lynn Polk and I’m supposed to go run every single route as hard as I can and I’m supposed to lay it all out there?’
A leader of men. Learned the ropes on HMS Optum.
Not a difficult scene to picture for a team that had lost their previous three games after winning their season opener under rookie Head Coach Jerod Mayo. But then something odd occurred:
Earlier today @ezlazar reportedly said the Patriots are "teetering on a mutiny in that locker room.” I was watching the podcast looking for that part, paused it for a minute, and then got this: pic.twitter.com/k2MIbrrnKQ
When the podcast audio had been restored, any reference to ‘mutiny’ had been removed. This had the counterproductive effect of drawing attention to the podcast and the discontent in the locker room. A classic example of the Streisand Effect.
Nice house, Babs.
Audio is still up on Apple and Spotify. It’s from the 57:30 mark. They scrubbed out the part where Lazar called it a mutiny. Funny stuff. pic.twitter.com/AdBEqDTj1p
After this unfortunate gaffe, Evan was doubtless summoned to a meeting with the higher ups:
And after a brief yet productive struggle session, he cheerfully recanted any statements that could be seen as deleterious to the image of the Patriots organizations one big happy collaborative enterprise:
“I got carried away. There is no mutiny in the locker room. I am being treated well. I have been given a blanket. The Red Cross will visit me soon with letters from my family.”
“It’s a dang mutanty!”
I will let this summarize our position on the matter, and give IH the last word:
I am struggling to think of anything more damning than an organization worth ~$10B overreacting to an in-house employee's throwaway line on a podcast no one listens to by scrubbing the audio after it's been released just to create a larger problem.
More wins than losses Week 4. How many more? Exactly enough, wise guy. Week Five:
(Bye week teams: Pumas, Plugs, Phils, & Pontoons)
SUNDAY TEA TIME Jets vs Vikings (-2.5) Biggest Viking defeat in England since the Battle of Stamford Bridge back in 1066.
Wot wot?
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Panthers at Bears (-4) Black Panthers haven’t partied like this since the days of Bobby Seale and Huey Newton.
You dig?
Ravens (-2.5) at Bengals Stripey cats take down scary black birds.
Bills (-1) at Texans Tatanka topple Texans.
Sorry ’bout that pardner.
Colts at Jaguars (-3) Spotted cats will need to leave the country to find a win.
Dolphins at Patriots (-1) Mayo’s mutineers drop Coach Drip.
I’ll take any mutineers nose and hang them by the highest yard marker!
Browns at Commanders (-3) Mystical fairy men get bogged down in the Maryland malarial swamp.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Raiders at Broncos (-3) What do you call a giant hill made of kittens? A meow-tain! (Try the veal, tip your waitresses and take Denver.)
erk!
Cardinals at 49ers (-7.5) Purrrdy feasts on pretty Red Birds.
Packers (-3.5) at Rams Meat men master muttons.
Giants at Seahawks (-6) Fake Sea Birds sasquatch the Giants
Is that BSJ’s John Karalis?
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Cowboys at Steelers (-2.5) Men of Steel win the Super Bowl X, XIII, and XXX rematches!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Saints at Chiefs (-5) After KC wins they will have successfully completed the first quarter of their inevitable march to a perfect season/three-peat.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Too many, too soon, no more Super Sky Points please!
It’s okay, Pete Rose only bet on himself to make 84.
Like two minutes into his first game and I’m already sick of all the Bruins skirts calling Zadorov, “Zaddy.”
WHO WANTS TO FAWCETT MUTOMBO!?
Jerod Mayo doesn’t have a plan, “Eliot and I” have a plan. That rat fuck mentions “Elliot” more than E.T.
For what it’s worth, I hoped that the Red Sox won Game 162 if only so Joe Castiglione can call a win in his final game. Call me sentimental, but that matters more to me than a draft pick.
Those 30 million Pete Rose-signed baseballs just went up $.03 in value.
Have to wonder if Chris Sale’s psychosomatic back spasms are a result of guilt surfacing from his subconscious about how much money he’s stolen.
Cakes are cooking for Dick Barnett, Don McLean, Skip Konte, Avery Brooks, Donna Karan, Annie Liebovitz, Michael Rutherford, Bill Elliott, Sting, Lorraine Bracco, Philip Oakey, Gordie Roberts, Glenn Anderson, Mark Rypien, Sheila Echols, Floyd “Bud” Gaugh, Eddie Guardado, Kelly Ripa, Tiffany, Aaron McKie, Lene Nystrøm, Paul Teutul Jr, Tyson Chandler, Phil Kessel, Ricky Stenhouse Jr, and Brittany Howard.
This postseason, MLB should replace John Smoltz with Tom Hardy doing the Bane voice for one inning and *not* explain it at all, just having him call the game straight up.
I still have no fucking clue what Dirty Water TV actually is. But I love that they only hire shameless whores.
AHL jobbers taking runs at real NHL players in fake games. Smdh.
Notice that a hurricane never *moves* toward land, or *races* toward land; they always *barrel.* Not sure how that became the go-to word.
Green Line Update: Shuttle buses will continue to replace service today between North Station and Medford/Tufts & Union Sq. Union Sq. riders can use bus routes 86, 87, or 91 to connect to shuttles or the Orange Line.
With all the love shown to Joe Castiglione this year, you’d think WEEI’s ratings would be better than they are.
Joey Slye could be your kicker for the next 10 years…
Hey gang of useless Hufflepuffs, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Wands up tonight my fellow Potterheads.”
RC-celeb, people glom on to anything for a shred of notoriety. Radio call-in guest has to be lower than starring in an anal warts cream commercial.
Hard to believe Wakey has been gone a year now.
Orange Line: Trains may travel at reduced speeds or stand by at stations while maintenance personnel conduct track inspections near Haymarket.
Does anyone know how old Alabama WR Ryan Williams is?
Shohei this year might be a Level-1 MVP season, whereas Dick Groat in 1960 or Jim Konstanty in 1950 are like. ..well, they had to give the award to somebody, I guess. Level 10 MVPs.
Everyone hated ESPN’s Christian Yelich in-game interview.
Every time I see bicyclists while driving now, I think of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. They should still be here.
Wait, actors have imposter syndrome? Isn’t that their job?
NESN ‘borrowed’ the MSG feed to honor Sam Rosen who has been calling games since 1984 and is retiring at the end of the season you clueless slob. At least that what I heard!
In a couple of days we should learn how much his injury settlement lowered Armon Watts’ cap number of $2,169,765.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia has big shoes to fill in taking over for Jeff Trundy as manager of the Falmouth Commodores in the Cape Cod Baseball League next summer.
No, you give me $5!
Dame Maggie Smith, RIP. Always thought she was the Penguin in The Blues Brothers but that was Kathleen Freeman.
Dirty Water TV is like the early ‘90’s Simpsons writers’ room for braindead whores.
Jerod Mayo says it is “definitely under consideration” that RB Antonio Gibson starts over Rhamondre Stevenson on Sunday after Stevenson has fumbled in each of the first four games.
Seventy-three men sailed up From the San Francisco Bay. Rolled off of their ship, and here’s what they had to say; “We’re callin’ everyone to ride along to another shore. We can laugh our lives away and be free once more.”
But no one heard them callin’ No one came at all. ‘Cause they were too busy watchin’ those old raindrops fall. As a storm was blowin’ out on the peaceful sea, Seventy-three men sailing off to history
Ride, captain ride upon your mystery ship. Be amazed at the friends you have here on your trip. Ride captain ride upon your mystery ship. On your way to a world that others might have missed.
I was blessed to see Addams Family Values on tv. Raul Julia was a master actor. I miss him so much.
Castiglione has been a leading Clemens propagandist for decades.
I can’t believe they went to a mini pride rally and a WNBA Playoff game broke out!
Every white dude ends up looking like a lesbian eventually.
ESPN keeping Kendrick Perkins over Zach Lowe might be worse than when the Sixers kept Tobias Harris over Jimmy Butler.
Honk if you remember Steve Sabol.
Can October be scripted? It’s tempting to say yes, but I say no.
Had a dream last night that DeVonta Smith was on the New England Patriots. No idea what year it was.
Jerry Tarkanian must be spinning in his grave seeing UNLV failing to pay players.
“At least Rashee Rice went out doing what he loved. Ending a drive with a horrible collision and immediately leaving the scene.” -Brandon Carney
Does Boston College play John Ashcroft’s ‘Let the Eagle Soar’ after football games? Well they should.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory reminds me of baseball. There were the awful kids who were there for the wrong reasons, and there was Charlie, who just loved candy. Maybe it’s childish, but baseball needs owners who are Charlie’s, not Veruca Salt’s & Mike TeaVee’s.
Is ‘Center’ an important position in football? Because it sounds important.
Red sox may or may not increase payroll, may or may not increase ticket prices, may or may not miss the playoffs again next season. Super. Good press conference.
A happy Rosh Hashanah to all my friends who celebrate.
Spike Lee pretend to be a Liberty fan now?
Best bet for the weekend: Pats going to get their teeth kicked in by a man named ‘Snoop’.
Less than ideal.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Come And Get Your Love.
October Fundraising Drive – If you have been a loyal reader of the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, thank you. Or maybe you are taking Football Cat’s betting advice? Or perhaps you enjoyed the 2024 Local Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the articles investigating our local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, if so, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free and comes due mid-month. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Thanks for reading.
Week 3 review. Not as good as week 1, but not as bad as week 2. Acceptable.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME Saints at Falcons (-2.5) When in doubt, always bet against the bird team.
Rams at Bears (-3) LA wins the Second City Bowl.
Not the Hollywood hills. Probably.
Vikings at Packers (-2.5) The Sam Darnold experience comes to its inevitable end.
Steelers (-2) at Colts Go Horse.
Go Horse!!!
Broncos at Jets (-7.5) New York nixes Nix
Eagles (-2) at Buccaneers American birds soar over soggy field conditions.
Bengals (-4.5) at Panthers Some cat fights are more visually appealing than others (e.g. Lucy vs Taylor). You can avert your eyes from this one. Stripey over black.
Achtung: Panzer!
Jaguars at Texans (-6) Spotted cats have to win sooner or later. It will be later.
Zzzzz
SUNDAY DINNERTIME Commanders at Cardinals (-3.5) Little Red Birds are too tired after their long flight and fall to the Commies.
Patriots at 49ers (-10) Hopefully the residual Friday Funny effect can carry the locals through the Sunday Sads. Purrrdy pummels Pats.
Browns at Raiders (-2) Go with the Elves over the Elvis impersonators.
TCB.
Chiefs (-7) at Chargers Kelce will score 3 TDs as Andy Reid finally cracks open the Taylor Swift playbook.
Wait, what?
SUNDAY PROWLTIME Bills at Ravens (-2.5) Hairy cows aren’t afraid of scary Black Birds.
MONDAY EARLY-PROWLTIME Titans at Dolphins (-1) Look for the Tits to burst out in Miami.
Jan Hammer Miami Vice theme music intensifies
MONDAY PROWLTIME Seahawks at Lions (-3.5) Big Cats bring the Fake Sea Birds down to Earth.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Any time you can needlessly accelerate your coaching succession plan by two years you have to do it.
The best NFL broadcasts come from the website where I buy $3 knockoff USB chargers that may or may not catch fire.
Anyone who used “Woj Bomb” unironically is an asshole.
I’ve thought about starting my day watching the Vince McMahon documentary. But not sure I have it in me this early.
It’s not a rivalry if the same side keeps winning!.
Is it me or is there a ton of injuries already this NFL season?
Major Red Sox uniform news: The Red Sox will unveil a City Connect 2.0 uniform in 2025 and will no longer wear their blue alternate jerseys. Given the popularity of the yellow uniforms, they have elected to keep it as a core uniform offering for the foreseeable future.
Cakes are cooking for Michael Douglas, Gil Morgan, Cheryl Tiegs, Anson Williams, Pedro Almodovar, Burleigh Drummond, Mark Hamill, Bob McAdoo, Jimmy Garvin, Jamie Hyneman, Michael Madsen, Scottie Pippen, Will Smith, Catherine Zeta-Jones, David Weathers, Dean Ween, Doug Pelfrey, John Lynch, Bridgette Wilson, Matt Hasselbeck, Chauncey Billups, Rocco Baldelli, Jason Bergmann, Van Hansis, and Cade Cunningham.
What does it say about Emerald Square that a herd of bulls at a carnival there couldn’t get out of the place fast enough?
‘Mirror in the Slideshow ‘ sounds like a Taylor Swift album title.
Tatum gets shit on for everything he does but tattooing a picture of yourself onto your back is wild.
One cheer for the 2024 Red Sox for refusing to quit now despite having previously quit a whole bunch of times.
On Saturday, September 28 only, Red Line Braintree Branch diversion will be expanded to include Ashmont Branch. This allows crews to take advantage of construction equipment in the area to remove a speed restriction on Ashmont Branch.
Should I invest in one entity that historically has never lost money or should I invest in the other entity that has rehab programs akin to alcoholism and drug abuse?
Looks like Mercury Morris’s perfect record of being alive is finally over.
Local 26 Hotel Workers putting on a good display outside the Omni Hotel the last couple days. They’ve had people holding the line overnight. Love a good picket line.
Oh no, Old Friend Trent Brown strained his left fat.
Minority position, I know, but Tanner Houck needs a pitch count like a turtle needs a microphone. In the last two years he has been taken out of countless games when he was pitching great. What he needs is a manager who will tell him “Keep pitching; you’re doing great.”
I’m sorry, Jey Uso is popular, but he isn’t Jeff Hardy popular.
“Wheel of Fortune” puzzles went from ‘Alice In Wonderland’ to ‘Say homes, how’s it hangin’, bruh?’.
You’re right, Bill Belichick sucks. Let the fat fucking deli loser handle things.
Bulletin, Bulletin, Bulletin!!! The semi-functional Shohei Ohtani is piling on. He now is 6/6 with 3 HR, 2 SB and 10 RBI. We’re not worthy.
Hey gang of the marginally employed, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, ‘Settle down, you fat retard, and go get Adam Jones his Ensure.”
I’m following Depeche Mode on Twittah. Not sure when that happened.
Darnold appears to have escaped an initial injury scare. Massive collective sigh of relief from the 612.
Reiss is only 5’2″–are we sure he can carry that much water?
Fun fact: Today has exactly 12 hours of daylight.
Make a wish baby Well and I will make it come true Make a list baby Of the things I’ll do for you Ain’t no risk now In lettin’ my love rain down on you So we could wash away the past So that we may start anew…
O’Brien and Youk talking endlessly about hot dogs? Make it stop.
Jrue might also have a tattoo of himself on his back. But how would we know?
Honk if you remember Miss Jean.
Dickie V has so much radiation in him they should call him Chernobyl.
Those Emerald Square bulls were five years too late to ransack the Skycrepers kitchen.
THE BUTCHIE isn’t real and cannot hurt you.
Have we lost perspective on what torn cartilage in your rib cage must feel like?
With the loss of the Athletics, there will be even less there there in Oakland as there was previous.
News Item: Brad Marchand has shed his red noncontact jersey for Bruins practice.
The Padres are the first team in MLB history to turn a triple play to end a game on the day they clinched a postseason berth. Only in baseball, Danny.
Rescue: Hi Surf cancelled yet?
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox do not win eight in a row and get right back in it.
“So, uh, how bout those bulls in ah, North Attleboro? Didja see that? That chain link fence was more porous, no, er, it was less effective in stopping, erk, them than the Patriots O-Line! Ha. Speaking of steers, try the teriyaki beef skewers. My son is a Marine.“
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Pick Up The Pieces.
Yeah, I know. Even the clamdicappers were laughing at how terrible my picks were last week. I probably would have told you the Pats were going to cover the spread versus the Planes Thursday. What can I say? It was a very tough week to be a cat. Plus, I only got 19 hours of sleep the day before. On to this week…
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME Giants at Browns (-6.5) If YOU think some Giants are going to waltz into Elf Land and come away victorious, then I’ve got some magic beans to sell you.
Bears at Colts (-1.5) Colts clobber Caleb.
Alliteration! Awesome!
Texans (-2) at Vikings Sam Darnold will be seeing ghosts and stars after this one.
Eagles at Saints (-2.5) American birds can’t win on American soil. They should keep flying South.
Chargers at Steelers (-1.5) One Har-bro can beat all your Primanti Bros put together.
French fries and cole slaw INSIDE the sandwich!?!
Broncos at Buccaneers (-6.5) Fun fact: Bo Nix has the shortest full first and last name combo in NFL history. Hopefully that will assuage his grief after yet another loss.
Packers at Titans (-2.5) Pack men gobble up tits.
SUNDAY DINNERTIME Panthers at Raiders (-5) Black cats ride the Red Rocket to victory!
firework noises!
Dolphins at Seahawks (-4.5) Fake Sea Birds drop Coach Drip’s Dolphins.
Lions (-3) at Cardinals Jungle Kings don’t even both trying to find the pretty Red Birds kneecaps, they just devour them whole. A little shakin’, a little tenderizin’ and down they go.
Ravens (-1) at Cowboys Scary Black Birds open a can of whoop ass at Jerry’s World.
49ers (-6.5) at Rams Brock Purrrrdy continues to make everyone forget about the worst trade in NFL history.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME Chiefs (-3) at Falcons Every fan in attendance gets two bags of chips, two hot dogs and unlimited drink refills. Which is good because they aren’t getting a win.
MONDAY PRE-PROWLTIME Jaguars at Bills (-5) Someone needs to ask Trevor who he is tanking for.
WHO ARE YOU TANKING FOR???
MONDAY PROWLTIME ACTUAL
Commanders at Bengals (-7.5)
Stripey cats get off the schneid on their own schedule, very feline of them.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The BBQ Sundae at the Big E was too much even for me.
America loves a good story, fraught with adversity and culminating with redemption. Rising above the obstacles to accomplish something greater and to etch yourself in history for eternity. Redemption used to be the most illuminating part of an illustrious career. Bill Russell in 1968, Magic Johnson in 1985, LeBron in 2012. Athletes soaring to new heights after falling to their lowest point. The old veteran regaining his past glory. The face of the franchise haunted by humiliation comes back to put his demons to bed. The villain cutting through the chorus of boos to achieve what’s eluded him. What follows these moments of triumph is a reckoning from the detractors. A begrudging respect is formed, then admiration that drowns the voices of the past. Any remaining dissenters calling Magic Johnson “Tragic” or LeBron James a choke artist are, like Hiroo Onoda, hiding in the woods fighting a battle that long ago was loss.
Today it is considered incidental whether the script gets flipped. What was written will remain. In an era where you have superstars in various small markets, the allure of bigger markets is dimmer, yet you’ll find more animus for them rather than admiration. What is worse? To be hated or viewed with apathy? The Denver Nuggets won the title, the most team centric championship since the 1977 Portland Trail Blazers. Nikola Jokic dismantled Kevin Durant and LeBron with startling ease, playing like a 6’10 Larry Bird, acting as the fulcrum for a watch making sure all the pieces inside mesh together in perfect harmony. We used to celebrate pureness in basketball, promote team-friendly organizations that did not have the superstar who needed every little thing catered to them. But instead, they were treated with apathy and the immediate demand they’d do it again. Denver fans could only seek validation in their small, niche communities while outsiders glorified the opponents they slain.
A year later the narrative shifted away from anointing the team they collectively yawned at when they won the first time and searched high and low for a team to crown anyone but the league’s best. Players went through the superstar car wash, long exposés, and podcast segments dedicated to Anthony Edwards as if it was possible for a team to win the title when their best player is 22. The building up of stars only to tear them down and by the time they do climb the mountain all you remember is the negative moments.
(The only champion not subjected to this cruelty is the Kansas City Chiefs. Who, unlike their New England Patriots dynastic counterparts never face media scrutiny or fan fatigue. Just last month Patrick Mahomes threw a behind the back pass in a preseason game that awed fans. The Chiefs are lionized, their opponents serving as mere fodder and built up solely to heighten their sacrifice for the glory of the one true franchise.)
In the Era of The Hater, they must pick one or two instances where they do not hate to maximize the effect of hating while online. To contrast and compare, to trigger fans by demanding their favorite reach expectations one cannot possibility reach. Mahomes and LeBron are the gold standard and anyone else is mincemeat. Even as the NBA moves away from the LeBron era into one defined by parity it is still a stretch for many to accept many players have passed near 40-year-old superstar. To say you prefer a 26-year-old Jayson Tatum who plays every game, fresh off 3 straight First-Team All-NBAs and just won the title is considered asinine.
Good for you, Andrew.
We are in an era where the past effectively never dies and to even entertain a fresh new face could take over for an old one many take as a personal affront. The idea there is a future beyond the present, that a main player from our lives is somewhat replaceable is something this generation never had to face. There are no more movie stars, but brands. Brands last forever.
When you’re LeBron you’re not just a famous athlete like Dr. J or Magic or Bird. You’re a brand. No different from Microsoft, or Disney.The modern stars in basketball today will never come close to attaining this status and for that they’ll suffer. Generations of fans grew up idolizing Michael Jordan and thanks to the internet never have to let go. LeBron fans can continuously relive the glory days, have plenty of material to keep them sedated whenever the end does come, and will use him as a cudgel against players for at least fifty years.
One of the crowning moments of LeBron’s career was winning his first championship. Coming off the heels of The Decision and the 2011 season, in a gentler time the notion of a small market superstar leaving to join a bigger market to play with his best friends revolted us. Then he went to the Olympics, played on the greatest U.S basketball team and led them to the Gold as their best player. The summer of 2012 was the Summer of LeBron! Glowing headline after glowing headline. Segments not highlighting his failures, only lauding his accomplishments with promises of more to come.
Fast forward twelve years later and it’s become apparent fans and media aren’t geared to treat someone as a champion when they won one. Tatum’s career is one long story defined by overachieving when you consider the circumstances he was in. Rookie season, playing on a team missing two max salary players heading into the playoffs, out-dueled Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid. Then went toe-to-toe with LeBron in a seven-game set. Yet, all the buzz was around LeBron and for a brief moment it seemed Boston would win everyone collectively shrugged. It’s just not the NBA Finals if LeBron isn’t in it. Tatum was viewed as a casualty, not as an up and comer.
Then 2019 is a disaster, the deck is reshuffled and he’s recast from main player to bit role. 2020 in a year where the Celtics lost Kyrie Irving and Al Horford in free agency, Tatum cobbled together his first All-NBA season and brought a Celtics team with Gordon Hayward on one leg, Kemba Walker on no legs, and his centers are Daniel Theis and Enes Kanter to within two-games of crashing the finals.
Skip ahead two years later he goes on his best individual stretch from January to finish the 2022 campaign, out duels Kevin Durant, Giannis (again), gets revenge on Miami, but runs out of gas in the finals versus Golden State. The takeaway was “they’ll never make it back” and labeled as choke artist for not beating a dynasty when no one picked Boston over them.
After all the narratives, negative headlines and braindead tweets, the Celtics have finally obtained what can’t be taken away from them… and it feels like it’s being taken away from them? How? More importantly, why? Why aren’t can’t we celebrate a championship team with a fresh, young face anymore? We did it with Giannis in 2021 and have looked the other way as he hasn’t even reached round three since. Hater culture can forgive that, but not Tatum making five conference finals in seven seasons? Both won a title. You can say both relied on their co-star (which isn’t an insult), yet we memory hole how awesome Khris Middleton was in the 2021 playoffs, and found some way to both lionize Jaylen Brown’s 2024 while not giving him any credit either.
Tatum outplayed who is largely seen as the third best player in the world in Luka Doncic, then went to the Olympics and won his second gold medal and comes back to the States ridiculed? This can read like sour grapes, but I’m more befuddled than I am annoyed. “He’s only the SIXTH best player in the league!” is a real insult I’ve seen thrown around. What is used as insults and just accepted as valid criticisms is asinine to imagine as discourse ten-years ago.
It’s likely the Celtics won’t repeat as champions, as it’s difficult to have everything go right for you in a sport where if one thing goes wrong your season is effectively over. The 2024 Celtics are anomalous in that regard, as they loss Kristaps Porzingis on two occasions and still ended up winning the title. No team before them won a title without their third best player. Yet, that’s never mentioned as a feather in Tatum’s cap. The injuries other teams suffered only matter.
If by this time next year, the Celtics have secured Banner 19, it’ll be the most impressive repeat by a champion team ever. For now, the most dominant repeat championship team is arguably the 2001 Lakers. But that era of the NBA was weak. It’s just that team was too good to properly use the shallow talent pool as a way to nick them. But for teams to repeat when the talent pool was deep, the 1988 Lakers and 1992 Bulls sit on top. But the hypothetical 2025 Celtics wouldn’t be that far behind. And even if that happens, on top of Tatum making a fourth consecutive First Team All-NBA, wins the championship and the series MVP, the hating will continue because we are now married to our takes more than ever.
I bet the haters hate this.
Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does notlive in North Haverbrook.
So there. For the 5th consecutive autumn, the Red Sox are not going to win the World Series.
Keith Smith; your time is now.
Jay Glazer dresses like a coke dealer in Munchkinland.
Sway my way, don’t come undone.
Congratulations Joe Castiglione on having an impact on Don Orsillo’s incredible career.
The player who seemingly concussed Tua Tagovailoa was Bills safety Damar Hamlin, who ironically died but was brought back to life on a football field two years ago.
Owen Pence is absolutely right. Why hasn’t the WNBA commissioner cured online racism yet?
Mike Reiss’ act was out of fear of Bill. That’s all.
Cakes are cooking for Scotty Bowman, Frankie Avalon, Alex Stepney, Otis Sistrunk, Ken Brett, Kerry Livgren, Darryl Sittler, Rick Pitino, Billy Sims, Peter Stastny, Ryne Sandberg, Martin Beedle, Ricky Bell, Toni Kukoč, Aisha Tyler, Jada Pinkett Smith, Lance Armstrong, Xzibit, Jason Sudeikis, Ronaldo, Alison Lohman, and Annette Obrestad.
Boston Globe Pitchbot makes Civil War Andrew Luck look like Richard Pryor.
Was Assistant Wide Receivers Coach Tiquan Underwood okay with waiving practice squadder Jalen Reagor?
OTOH, Wojnarowski was a sketchy, sniveling horse trader. Good riddance.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “At least be good looking if you are going to be so awful.”
Paying $13.50 for terrible sports-writing is what TRUE masculinity looks like.
Have never been the biggest Dwight Howard fan, but you cannot deny how impressive he was tonight on “Dancing With The Stars.”
Orange Line Update: Delays of about 20 minutes due to a signal problem near Wellington. Trains may stand by at stations.
I think the Mike Reiss thing has to do with Patricia. He got really animated when they played a clip of Bill on Brady’s podcast claiming Patricia laid the foundation for the Lions o-line. That then led into Reiss’s need for an apology about the offense the past 2 seasons. These media slobs really hate Patricia. I think the fact that the scribes see Bill “bad mouthing” people now and they are desperate for him to turn on Patricia – which will never happen. It’s all sour grapes and bunched panties.
What I’m going to miss most about Woj is ruining draft picks by tweeting them 5 minutes before they announce them on TV.
Nice work, Team USA winning the Solheim Cup.
Is there a functional mechanism by which MLB could force the White Sox owner to sell the team?
Nothing says the end of summer like a $7 pint of blueberries.
Dive into the technology behind modern stand collar sweatshirts. Learn about advanced fabrics that offer moisture-wicking, breathability, and thermal insulation.
Sources: Patriots are ruling LB Oshane Ximines, OG Sidy Sow, OT Vederian Lowe, and LB Ja’Whaun Bentley OUT for TNF. They will not travel to East Rutherford for the Jets game. In addition, C David Andrews, OT Mike Onwenu, S Jabrill Peppers, and DE Deatrich Wise are being ruled QUESTIONABLE.
Wyc Grousbeck is the definition of what a team owner should be and how they should operate.
Mike McDaniel makes Deuce Tatum look like Bill Duke.
I may not be what the kids refer to as a, “gamer”. But I can still bear Super Mario World for SNES quickly without dying once. And I can beat Mike Tyson’s Punch Out for NES without being KO’d a single time. Take that, young dweebs.
So, Honeycomb, won’t you be my baby? Well, Honeycomb, be my own. Got a hank o’ hair and a piece of’ bone. They made a walkin’, talkin’ Honeycomb. Well, Honeycomb, won’t you be my baby? Well, Honeycomb, be my own. What a darn good life when you got a wife Like Honeycomb.
There won’t be another Woj. The sports industry has adapted to his presence in mere hopes of making more like him, but he’s the GOAT.
Hockey is right around the corner. Sara Civian remains a free agent.
Chappell Roan tells The Face that she has tried the Hailey Bieber Erewhon smoothie.
Sugar Frosted Chocolate Bombs >>> “CoCoBombs”
Honk if you remember John Garabedian.
Mike McDaniel is gonna dress more and more like a Serbian gangster until this thing gets turned around.
The level of narcissism exhibited by Elle Duncan should require hospitalization.
With this release of Thompkins, it clear to me The Patriots are set to move on from Brady.
I’m putting glitter on a pumpkin. Sorry, loser.
The WNBA is headed back to Portland, with Oregon’s biggest city getting an expansion team that will begin play starting in 2026.
I say this every year, but the first few weeks of the NFL are always a dumpster fire. Ugh.
Best bet for the weekend: Don Sweeney dispatching scouts to the Orient to look into sumo wrestlers as a Plan C.
I’ll tell you what the only thing faster than ‘Mondre out there today were those fighter planes! Hahahaha did you see those? Wow. Anyway I want to be truthfully honest with you all right now. All 29 coaches and Robyn will be joining a Teams meeting at 9 AM sharp to discuss Jacoby. How does that man feel? A 27-step drop back and a 13 yard sack? The man needs to be lifted up. And we will be doing that. Anyway there are Crumbl cookies and Hoodsie cups in the back for you all! Much love.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. It must have been something you said.
And Happy Birthday to British model and actress Keeley Hazell.
Hey Lama, how about a little something, for you know, the effort?
I hope you set aside some of Week One’s winnings to buy some treats for Football Cat!
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME 49ers – 5 vs Vikings Brock Purrrrrdy and the prospectors plunder the Vikings
Chargers -5 vs Panthers Black cats can’t help crossing their own path, get zapped by Chargers.
ZZap!
Colts -2.5 vs Packers Horsies stomp the Meat Men into the unfrozen tundra of Lambeau Field.
Giants vs Commanders -1.5 Pituitaries pound Pol Pots.
Saints vs Cowboys -6 Jerry Jones and his many illegitimate children must have had a good laugh after reading that article about Rub-and-Tug Robert’s Hall of Fame struggles. Jerry’s good time keeps rolling.
Cheshire Cat grin
Browns vs Jaguars -3 Spotty cats devour the mystical fairyland sprites.
Jets -3.5 vs Titans My father Bert Bell tells me that in 1959 this would have been a match-up between the “Titans of New York” and the “Oilers of Houston”. Much like Lucy will ultimately outlast Taylor, the original Tits triumph over the new Tits.
Rrrowwl
Buccaneers vs Lions -7.5 Jungle Kings feast on pirate patellas.
Raiders vs Ravens -9 Scary birds don’t break a sweat.
Caw
Seahawks -3.5 vs Patriots Good thing mean old Bill is gone, otherwise he’d inexplicably replace Malcom Butler as honorary lighthouse keeper at the last minute – with no explanation! WTF! The Mayo-noise will be earsplitting after the Patriots start 2-0.
SUNDAY DINNERTIME Rams vs Cardinals -1 Male sheep stomp pretty red birds.
Bengals vs Chiefs -5.5 Stripey cats get their first win of the season at Burrowhead.
Me heap big appropriate your culture!
Steelers -2.5 vs Broncos Men of Steel can’t handle the thin air. The mile high horses run wild.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME Bears vs Texans -6.5 After the he messes with Texas, Calib Williams will be left in tears, seeking solace in the loving embrace of his mother’s arms.
MONDAY PROWLTIME Falcons vs Eagles -6.5 I love watching birds fight! The American birds prevail and the losers gets in my belly!
You, uh, you white meat or dark meat?
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
“You don’t leak to Van Natta about me; I leak to Van Natta about YOU!”
But did it feeeel like a win? Not so sure.
Tyreek Hill’s ongoing audition for a future season of ‘American Sports Story’ is going great.
You know it’s a big game when you hear the smooth sound of Noah Eagle.
I envy how comfortable Steve Perrault always looks.
The Hall could probably be persuaded to put Robert in if he’d end his rhetoric.
I can’t believe Clay Travis hired the Super 70’s Sports guy. Ok, I can.
People say there aren’t enough black baseball players anymore. They’re all on the TBS pregame show.
I’d like the captains patches more if they were the colors of the team. Why the same colors for all NFL teams? Patriots should be blue, red, silver, white…no yellow.
Is the Boston PWHL team named Fleet because of the building contractors?
Cakes are cooking for Brian DePalma, Lola Falana, Mickey Hart, Amy Madigan, Tommy Shaw, Jeff Sluman, Don Slaught, Scott Patterson, Robert Wren, Elizabeth Daily, Virginia Madsen, Kristy McNichol, Ellis Burks, Victor Wooten, Graeme Obree, Moby, Harry Connick, Jr, Maria Bartiromo, Taraji P. Henson, Mack Strong, Richard Ashcroft, Shelton Quarles, Jon Buckland, Ludacris, Ed Reed, Jacoby Ellsbury, Elizabeth Henstridge, and Tyler Hoechlin.
Diana Ross – Upside Down >> all the songs that sampled it.
Just remember, if Mayo turns out to be a good coach it’s because Robert Kraft saw something in him. If he turns out to be a bad coach, look to the coaching tree.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
I must hear something described as “the elephant in the room” twice a week. That’s 100 elephants in the room. How many elephants can you really fit in a room do you think?
Getting a microphone tattoo is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Might as well wear a shirt that says, “ask me about being in sports.”
Hey gang with a benevolence association, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “redirected to the ground.”
The only snakes I know of are those of Set and his cursed towers. Their evil has spread to every city. Two or three years ago it was just another snake cult, now…RIP James Earl Jones.
Agency news: KLUTCH Sports Group has acquired Ballengee Football, adding its agents including Rick Roberts, Martin Fischman and Don Weatherall and 20+ clients including Malik Nabers, Patrick Queen and Travis Etienne, to their emerging roster. This move follows the acquisitions of ROOF and Rep 1 Baseball earlier this year.
I’m home today playing Borderlands and I have to wonder…do the Vault Hunters have a Union?
Football isn’t my favorite sport but man, it really is the best-looking game on TV.
Weird fences make weird neighbors.
Why can’t Dave Grohl go the Shank route and pretend it never happened? Is it because people have a hard time believing two different women would go to bed with the CHB willingly?
In the timbers of Fennario, The wolves are runnin’ ’round. The winter was so hard and cold, Froze ten feet ‘neath the ground.
Don’t murder me. I beg of you, don’t murder me. Please, don’t murder me.
I sat down to my supper. ‘Twas a bottle of red whisky. I said my prayers and went to bed. That’s the last they saw of me.
Since 1962 the Dodgers have won six NL MVP Awards. The New York Mets have won none. I’m kind of thinking maybe this should be the year?
Lucy Wrights, just winging it. ‘One Take Lucy’, they call her.
The frozen breakfast sandwich people must be in cahoots with the paper towel manufacturers.
The Red Sox are making a mockery of George Herman Fruith’s career!
The Echoes slept through their wake up call in South Bend.
Sarah Spain thinks Van Morrison was writing about b-holes in 1967?
I ain’t calling some other dude Swagu.
YouTube Belichick is great. But it raises the question, what did they do with the other half of Matt Patricia? Deep dive conversational format is actually what I think Brady would be better suited for than color analyst.
Honk if you remember Rod Rust’s hapless Patriots squad.
Man, both sides. Amirite?
YOU fell for the Al Horford retirement announcement hoax! You did! You did!
PSA: the new linkin park clips don’t sound weird because of her singing, they sound weird because all the songs are in new (higher) keys. For sure a factor that should have been considered, but I think she sounds pretty good and now a bunch of young fans get to see them
WooSox manager Chad Tracy said that Mickey Gasper tweaked his back packing up his things after being optioned from Boston back to Worcester.
Won’t someone please think about the Sports Hub producers who were heartlessly let go? No? Okay.
John Tomase. Writing about the Patriots. NBCS Boston doesn’t get nearly the hate they should.
Red Sox refuse to die. But also refuse to put together a winning streak.
Best bet for the weekend: Trust falls in Foxboro before the breakout session.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Miserable Fellow and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Kind of a drag.
And happy birthday to local gal done good singer/songwriter Kay Hanley.
The 15 