The 15

Happy New Year from Football Cat!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? The answer is a resounding “YES”! It’s best to leave the past in the past. Your New Year’s resolution should be to not dwell on lost loves and move forward. New year, new you. Don’t spend your nights listening to Spotify and crying yourself to sleep over what might have been with Olivia or Jackie or Brad. Lift a cup of kindness and throw it right in their face!

Or you could just resolve to stop drinking again.

SATURDAY LUNCH TIME
Chargers (-4) at Patriots
Patriots shock the Bolts like it’s 1985

SATURDAY DINNER TIME
Broncos at Bengals (-3)
Stripey Cats keep their playoff chances alive

SATURDAY PROWL TIME
Cardinals at Rams (-6)
Rams rout Red Birds

SUNDAY LUNCH TIME
Colts (-7.5) at Giants
Giant tank job continues

Jets at Bills (-10)
McDermott’s men hijack Jets and send them crashing back to Earth

Titans at Jaguars (-1)
Spotty Cats can’t handle Tits

Raiders (-1.5) at Saints
Raiders win again, they must really hate the idea of drafting Shedeur Sanders.

Panthers at Buccaneers (-8)
Scary Black Cats sink Bucs

Cowboys at Eagles (-9.5)
American Birds keep the pressure on the Jungle Kings

SUNDAY DINNER TIME
Dolphins at Browns (-6.5)
Elves shelve Miami

Packers at Vikings (-1.5)
Vikings mince Meat Men

SUNDAY PROWL TIME
Falcons at Commanders (-4)
Commies swamp Falcons

MONDAY PROWL TIME
Lions (-3.5) at 49ers
Jungle Kings poach Prospectors’ patellas

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.