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Football Cat’s Week 4 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on October 2, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

The calendars may gave flipped to October, but our top scientists at CoCoRaHSS have discovered a strange atmospheric phenomenon, emanating out of One Patriot Place, resulting in all of New England being transported back to Mid-Maye!

The “Community Collaborative Rain, Hail, Snow and Suck Network”, more commonly known as CoCoRaHSS (pronounced KO-ko-rozzzzzzz), is a grassroots volunteer network of backyard football/weather observers of all ages and backgrounds, working together to map precipitation and piss poor quarterbacking in their local communities.

Sunday Lunch Time
Colts (-3) at Commanders
Indianapolis Jones skins Commies

Jets at Bears (-3)
Da Bears scramble the Jets

Titans at Ravens (-11.5)
Tits may be ass

Packers (-3.5) at Buccaneers
Green topples Tampa in the “Battle of the Bays”

Patriots at Bills (-6.5)
Bills batter Bledsoe 2.0

Drew Bledsoe but with an extra chromosome

Jaguars at Bengals (-2.5)
Spots over Stripes

It’s advanced fashion, you wouldn’t understand

Cardinals (-1) at Giants
Due to Jaxson’s injury, Brother Jim told Brother John to get JJ to back up Jamesis. J-Men win!

Rams (-2) at Eagles
American Birds soar over road weary Rams

Cowboys at Texans (-2.5)
Houston has too many problems

Félicette made it back alive, suck it Laika

Sunday Dinner Time
Dolphins at Vikings (-10)
With Arch Manning in Miami and Dante Moore with the Jets, in 6 months the Patriots may have the worst QB in the division. Minni over Miami.

Chargers at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds make Brother Jim wish he had traded for JJ McCarthy

Chiefs (-4.5) at Raiders
The Autumn Wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He’ll knock you ’round and upside down, and laugh when he’s conquered and won… but not this time!

Broncos at 49ers (-3)
Bucking Billies struggle at sea level

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions (-3.5) at Panthers
Black Cats dethrone Jungle Kings

Monday Prowl Time
Falcons at Saints (-2.5)
In a stunning reversal, Popes penetrate Penix

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 4)

Posted on October 1, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! And prizes were won! Congratulations to the two winners! Football Cat’s usually dependable intuition was doubtless affected by the humidity from the nor’easter.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than Football Cat, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. Usually. In the event of a tie, a winner may be chosen at random. Winners remain eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Colts at Commanders

Jets at Bears

Jaguars at Bengals

Cardinals at Giants

Rams at Eagles

Packers at Buccaneers

Patriots at Bills

Titans at Ravens

Cowboys at Texans

Dolphins at Vikings

Chiefs at Raiders

Broncos at 49ers

Chargers at Seahawks

Lions at Panthers

Falcons at Saints (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our classy group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 3)

Posted on September 25, 2026 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes! But so far, the best anyone has done is eked out a tie! Insufficient!

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Chargers at Bills

Panthers at Browns

Texans at Colts

Jets at Lions

Patriots at Jaguars

Chiefs at Dolphins

Titans at Giants

Bengals at Steelers

Seahawks at Commanders

Cardinals at 49ers

Vikings at Buccaneers

Raiders at Saints

Ravens at Cowboys

Rams at Broncos

Eagles at Bears (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t how you roll, post them on the Twitter and our autumnal group of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

It’s like I’m in *Blade Runner*, or Wobey Mike’s idea of Seattle.

Football Cat’s Week 1 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on September 11, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Our long national nightmare is over! Football Cat has returned to brighten your humdrum lives and fill your coffers with money.

If you live under a rock and are unfamiliar with THE Football Cat™, our AI overlords have been kind enough to provide this brief bio:

Football Cat is a humorous NFL prediction feature on the Football Cat Category page of The 15 website.

Who is Football Cat?

Location: Lives in New Hampshire.

Hobby: Loves watching football.

Identity: Literally a cat.

What Does Football Cat Do?

Weekly Picks: Shares regular NFL game predictions throughout the football season.

Special Events: Publishes special columns for holidays and big events, like Thanksgiving games and the NFL playoffs.

Funny Commentary: Uses silly nicknames and jokes to describe teams and matchups.

Sunday Lunch Time
Bears (-2.5) at Panthers
Windy citizens blow past black cats

Buccaneers at Bengals (-3.5)
Stripey cats claw out a win over Corsairs

Ravens (-3.5) at Colts
Scary black birds coral Colts

Saints at Lions (-7)
Jungle kings knockout N’Awlins

Bills (-1.5) at Texans
Hairy cows stampede Texicans

Browns at Jaguars (-7.5)
Spotted cats flush the Browns

Jets at Titans (-1.5)
Assmen pancake Tits

Falcons at Steelers (-3)
Men of Steel can Tua ~~Fish~~ Birds

Sunday Dinner Time
Packers at Vikings (-1.5)
Cheesemen ooze over the Juicy Lucies

Commanders at Eagles (-4.5)
American birds bash Commies

Dolphins at Raiders (-3.5)
Miami is “Planning for Manning” (copyright)

Cardinals at Chargers (-10.5)
Bolts zap pretty red birds

Sunday Prowl Time
Cowboys (-2.5) at Giants
Pituitaries pop Pokes

Monday Prowl Time
Broncos at Chiefs (-2.5)
Indigenous people bust Broncos

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Super Bowl LX Pick

Posted on February 6, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

The Patriots are back in the Super Bowl for the 12th time in the past 41years. For all you non-math majors out there, that equates to 29.3% of the time. Not bad for a franchise that used to play in a Zayre’s parking lot back in the AFL days.

The Patriots have now been to 4 more Super Bowls than any other team, with an overall record of 6-5 heading into Sunday’s game. If they win, they will break a tie with the Steelers for the most wins in Super Bowl history. If they lose, they will break a tie with the Broncos for most losses in Super Bowl history. So win or lose they are guaranteed to make history. We here at Football Cat World Headquarters just hope everyone has fun!

Speaking of fun, here is a fun fact: Sam Darnold is 0-4 against the Patriots in his career, three losses with the Jets and one with the Panthers. He has thrown 1 touchdown and 9 interceptions, with a combined passer rating of 41.2. The Patriots are the monkey in Sam Darnold’s wrench.

Are YOU really going to lose to Sam Darnold?

And as we head into the long off season, remember Tom Brady may hate you but Football Cat loves you. See you in September.

Sunday Dinner Time
Seahawks (-4.5) at Patriots
Fake Seabids can’t exorcise these ghosts. Drake Maye IS!

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Conference Picks 2026

Posted on January 23, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Not only do we have an AFC Championship game to look forward to on Sunday, but we also have the storm of the century bearing down on our beloved six state region, yes even Rhode Island. How much snow will YOU get? Well, that depends on many factors: how close to the benchmark the storm is, where does any banding set up, what is the QPF and how much love you have in your heart.

And before you rush out to the stores to stock up on bread and milk, remember these wise words:
“Look, I’m not saying I could do it better than them. I’m just saying they’re wrong a lot. That’s a fact. They’re wrong a lot. We all make mistakes. I’m not being critical of them, I’m just saying I don’t think you can go based on that. My experience of going with the forecast in this area two days before the game, I mean I’d bet a lot that they’re wrong, just based on history because they’re almost always wrong. An hour before the game, maybe. You might have something to work with there. I think if you start game planning for what the weather is going to be and you game plan wrong, you’ve wasted a lot of time.” – Bill Belichick, October 31, 2014

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Patriots (-4.5) at Broncos
Patriots bust Broncos

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams at Seahawks (-2.5)
Horny Sheep spook Darnold

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Divisional Round Picks

Posted on January 16, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

It’s been a fun week basking in the glory of the first Patriots playoff win since Super Bowl LIII, but now it’s time to focus on the next opponent, the Houston Texans. What better way to break it all down, than a Dan Shaughnessy style look at how each team’s respective home town matches up with the other.

Houston has the Johnson Space Center.
Foxborough has the Gillette Stadium Lighthouse.
Advantage: Patriots

The landlocked lighthouse is much more impressive

Well there you have it, bet your kid’s college tuition on the home team and thank us later

Saturday Dinner Time
Bills at Broncos (-1.5)
Buffalo sauces Nix

Saturday Prowl Time
49ers at Seahawks (-7)
Fake Seabirds rain on Purrrdy’s parade

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Texans at Patriots (-3)
As that great Patriot, Patrick Star once opined: “The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb old stupid Texas! “

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams (-3.5) at Bears
Horny sheep bang da’ Bears

This is why all Bears fans support two teams

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on January 1, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Happy New Year to all who celebrate!

From the home office in Nashua New Hampshire, the Top 10 Cat New Year’s resolutions for 2026…

10. Stop knocking things off the table… before making eye contact.
9. Learn what “no” means — and continue to ignore it.
8. Sit on warm laptops instead of freshly folded laundry. (Maybe)
7. Eat food more slowly so humans stop accusing me of “inhaling.”
6. Meow at 3 a.m. with a clearer sense of purpose.
5. Fit into boxes without questioning physics.
4. Respect personal space — primarily my own.
3. Pretend to be grateful when receiving gifts I absolutely hate.
2. Reduce judgmental staring to under 14 hours a day.
1. Finally reveal why I do anything… just kidding!

Saturday Dinner Time
Panthers at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Black cats sink Bucs

Saturday Prowl Time
Seahawks (-1.5) at 49ers
Purrrrrdy swallows fake Sea Birds

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Falcons (-3)
Falcons excommunicate Saints

St.Gertrude of Nivelles, patron saint of cats

Browns at Bengals (-7.5)
Stripey Cats eat elves

Colts at Texans (-10.5)
Houston’s practice squad has no problem with Indy’s practice squad

Titans at Jaguars (-12.5)
Jags top Tits

Packers at Vikings (-6.5)
Vikings win by default

Cowboys (-3.5) at Giants
Dart defeats Dallas

Jets at Bills (-7)
Bills ground Jets

Lions at Bears (-3)
Bears send Jungle Kings into hibernation

Chargers at Broncos (-12.5)
Is this the long awaited Trey Lance breakout game? Sorry Patriot fans, it is not.

Cardinals at Rams (-7.5)
Rams rough up Red Birds

Chiefs (-5.5) at Raiders
Raiders are dozing for Mendoza

Dolphins at Patriots (-10.5)
Patriots drop Coach Drip

Commanders at Eagles (-7)
American Birds crush Commies

The good old days when Russia were the bad guys

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens (-3.5) at Steelers
Team X lives! Black birds get to prove that they aren’t afraid to lose on Wild Card Weekend.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 17 NFL Picks 2025

Posted on December 26, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

As it turns out, Football Cat was making rather merry yesterday, and is in no condition to make picks this week. But fear not! Other the15net.com adjacent animals have graciously stepped up to fill the void. Football Cat will be back next week, tanned and rested, and ready to ring in the New Year.

A poor excuse for picking a dog’s pocket every twenty fifth of December!

Saturday Dinner Time
Texans at Chargers (-1.5)
After a thorough review of each team’s sleep scores and rain gauges, Frank says take the Texans

My diet consists entirely of discarded egg yolks

Saturday Prowl Time
Ravens at Packers (-3)
Jocko doesn’t like the Black Birds

Sunday Lunch Time
Seahawks (-7) at Panthers
Jocko doesn’t like the Black Cats

Cardinals at Bengals (-7.5)
Warren Dull’s second stepfather’s neighbor’s nephew’s grandmother once had a budgie that got eaten by her bridge partner’s cat. The stripey cats do the same to the pretty red birds.

Steelers (-3) at Browns
The Cleveland Pig will be drowning her sorrows at the feeding trough

Jaguars (-6.5) at Colts
Kenny the pet bee thinks the Jags swarm the Colts. Indy better have extra epee pens on hand.

She suffers from rosacea you inconsiderate jerks!

Buccaneers (-5.5) at Dolphins
Jasper loves the Bucs inside and out.

Patriots (-13.5) at Jets
Loki is waiting to see a jet crash and burn

Saints (-2.5) at Titans
Millie says to lay it all on the Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
Giants (-1.5) at Raiders
The Teddy the doodle is a fan of Pete the poodle

He’s hypoallergenic and machine washable

Eagles at Bills (-1.5)
Packo loves Buffalo, especially their wings with a nice coating of Rub Smoke Love BEEF CAKE premium all-natural beef rub and seasoning.

Sunday Prowl Time
Bears at 49ers (-3)
Marv thinks that Bears will lay low and then suddenly snap and go for the 49ers jugular.

Monday Prowl Time
Rams (-7.5) at Falcons
Cocaine bear loves LA

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on December 4, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks ’25

Time to check in with everyone’s favorite nonagenarian sportswriter, none other than legendary boxing and gridiron correspondent for the old Boston Evening Gazette, Buzz “Lefty” McBride. Mr. McBride would like to share his take on the controversial hit New England Patriots’ linebacker Christian Eliss placed on New York Giants’ quarterback Jaxson Dart during the first quarter of Monday night’s football game.