05/20/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
I wish Jaylen would shut up OR dribble.
Surprised Mickey Gasper hasn’t been questioned about the Gardner Museum heist.
Hey, everybody. Chill. Wemby ain’t Wilt and Wilt wasn’t Wemby. Very different players. But thanks to Wemby’s versatility you could pair them, and wouldn’t that be frightening?
Why wouldn’t they just keep using an opener for Bello? Because it was actually working?
Too little, too late on that goalie change. methinks.
James Harden should be left on the airport tarmac even though they aren’t flying anywhere.
Kyle Schwarber looks like he could be a Steiner brother.
When the NFL’s schedule release aligns with your colonoscopy prep, you write about both.
In terms of Boston movies, RA thinks he’s Affleck in The Town, but he’s actually Cliff Robertson at the beginning of Charly.
Annie Agar has almost zero white knights.
Way to let slip your husband had a no-show job with the Sox, second Mrs. Varitek.
Florio suggesting that Russini was pressured into fucking Vrabel the same day someone finds her thirst trap video is perfect. No notes.
Cakes are cooking for Sadaharu Oh, Tison Street, Cher, Craig Patrick, Steve George, Jane Wiedlin, Bronson Pinchot, Susan Cowsill, Tony Goldwyn, David Wells, Todd Stottlemyre, Mindy Cohn, Busta Rhymes, Matt Czuchry, Mike Flanagan, Jayson Werth, Rachel Platten, Sierra Boggess, Chris Froome, Enes Kanter Freedom, Harris Reed, Tara Davis-Woodhall, and Trinity Rodman.
Genuinely woke up and immediately smiled thinking about how I get to watch Wemby later. Like first thought of the entire day.
It’s 2026 and we are complaining about not getting Brusder Gratarol in the Betts deal?
Tony ‘Engagement’ Farmer. Boom. Roasted.
It’s not until you start listening to Bill Simmons with your young kids in the car that you realize how often he curses – including dropping f-bombs – on air. We were listening to his episode with Nick Wright, and I felt like I’d brought my kids to see Goodfellas.
Not a lot of babies being named Bob like there used to be.
Homemade mayonnaise?
Blue Line Update: Shuttle buses are replacing service between Wonderland and Revere Beach due to an issue with the overhead wire at Wonderland. Please expect delays as shuttles are dispatched.
Scal discovered Cooper Flagg and Stephen Curry.
I love a last name that reminds me of how Superman was paralyzed.
In accordance with his will, Mark Fuhrman’s Nazi memorabilia will be bequeathed to Curt Schilling.
I wonder why the white guy with a racially ambiguous name and million+ followers that commentates on the NBA chooses not to use an actual picture of himself?
It’s just easier to function when it’s pleasant outside and not awful.
Dave Mlicki pitched the very first regular-season game between the Mets and Yankees in 1997, and he shut out the defending champions, spinning curveballs and striking out eight. Any list of great Subway Series performers starts with him.
Hey gang of professional word-users, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You can see all the water shining on the grass.”
Man, how about that footie match? Blimey!
Mickey Gasper looks like if you incorporated Mario into RBI baseball with a cheat code.
Honk if you remember Schlitz beer.
‘Sir Winston Tulips’ was Upton Bell’s Provincetown stage name for the summer of 1980.
Maybe the Red Sox should let Tolle close his own starts?
Seems I’ve got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I’ve got to leave before I start to scream
Won’t someone lock the door and turn the key
Feeling alright (oh, no)
I’m not feeling too good myself (on, no)
If I feeling alright (oh, no)
I’m not feeling that good myself, yeah (oh, no)
Apparently there are people who are so anti-vaccine that they aren’t getting their dogs their rabies shots!!! WTF is that?! Never read Cujo?!
Who forgot to say Spida?
According to Annie Agar, she lost weight because she stopped eating refined sugar. Her entire diet must have consisted of refined sugar.
Kendrick Perkins needs to explode like Mr. Creosote.
You guys are so upset about the Red Sox being the only Boston team left when you could just be watching the Giro d’italia and then the Tour de France and then the Vuelta and then the world championships and then oh my goodness what’s this is that cyclocross I see!?
That is blatant Free Jacks erasure.
That fella who won the PGA Championship looked a bit too dusky to be an Englishman to me. Must be the coal dust.
Isiah Kiner-Falefa has now played all nine positions in the big leagues.
Hailey Van Lith sounds like an indie band name.
Break up the Revs?
The Buffalo Sabres fans can go back to not having jobs now, I guess.
Best bet for the weekend: reports of record-breaking travel.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Take these broken wings And learn to fly again Learn to live so free.
The 15 