Tag Archives: Boston Sports Media

07/08/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Wheeeeee!!!

2-0, the most dangerous lead in sports.

A lotta Celtics fans getting the big sads now that they’ve learned Jayson and Jaylen aren’t best fwiends.

Ronaldo is the only Portuguese guy I’ve ever seen with two eyebrows.

Getting screamed at in Arabic has to be frightening.

Look, that was a disappointing game, but the memories of the USA Soccer snapback I bought will last three, maybe four more days.

Keith Smith is underappreciated until you trade for Paul George and need some explanations.

Belgium has more planet players.

Cakes are coking for Janice Pennington, Jeffrey Tambor, Kim Darby, Raffi Cavoukian, Wolfgang Puck, Anjelica Houston, Jack Lambert, Kevin Bacon, Joan Osborne, Bob Ctvrtlik, Billy Crudup, Michael Weatherly, Beck, Staci Wilson, Wang Zhizhi, Sophia Bush, Jamie Cook, David Corenswet, Jaden Smith, and Maya Hawke.

The fattest most pungent smelling people are always the most opinionated.

I just can’t get out of my head that if only MLS had promotion and relegation Freese wouldn’t have fucked up that third goal.

Why didn’t Brad navigate the Celtics out of the worst CBA in sports in one fell swoop? Felgy coulda done it.

Pochettino looks like he wants to show me how clogged my car’s cabin air filter is.

I don’t know why I think it’s funny that Vrabel took his wife to Taylor Swift’s wedding, but I do.

Airport meals are a killer.

Green Line D Branch: Delays of about 20 minutes due to a disabled train near Brookline Village. Trains may stand by at stations.

Ironhead has broken containment.

So California Bill has his endoscopy? Let me guess: no polyps, but lots of solipsism.

Hey gang of hyperboleists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “There was the Babe Ruth trade out of Boston and then this is probably next.”

Is Carli Lloyd pregnant or is this a Christina Erne situation?

Bring back the Shaw’s Pro Summer League.

A Roger Goodell flunkie is furiously taking notes on the FIFA appeals process.

As my grandpappy used to say, the poor always find time to fuck and paint mini furniture.

Wait, Jaylen Brown and A.J. Brown are cousins?

If I was playing against Messi I would make sure we talked about how someone should mark him.

Buying off deadbeats and grifters with a lifetime meet and greet fast pass is the easiest move Rubin ever made.

Who do you think you’re calling a ‘deranged little clique?’

I somehow don’t believe Thierry Henry actually cares about growing the game in the United States.

@fartpants86 I just reported you to twitter ..

What question did Dondero ask at the presser? Oh, right. Right right right.

Pick yourself up off the side of the road
With your elevator bones and your whip-flash tones
Members only hypnotizers
Move through the room like ambulance drivers

Shine your shoes with your microphone blues
Hirsutes with your parachute fruits
Passing the dutchie from coast to coast
Like my man Gary Wilson (I rock the most)

Where it’s at
I got two turntables and a microphone.
Where it’s at
I got two turntables and a microphone.

I guess we can talk about that paint on Jaylen’s head now.

If you’re going to invent your own hall of fame might as well make the path to induction arbitrary and capricious.

Brad twice basically saying “what the fuck are you talking about?” to Shaughnessy was pretty great.

Nothing good begins “divorce response”.

Imagine how good Pulisic will be in 2030 when he’s healthy!

Honk if you remember the MetLife blimp.

The Nantucket police got any, you know, promising, uh, leads on the missing Breer bikes?

Quite frankly, this whole FIFA ordeal reeks of private equity.

Oh, you’re looking to grow the game? Good luck. We’re putting the ugliest American we got on this story: Ben Volin.

Payton Tolle is the first Red Sox pitcher since Dennis Eckersley (1978) to make at least 4 starts of 6.0+ innings and 0 ER in a single season prior to turning 24.

What do people expect Brad to do, sit there and say “Yeah, we don’t think Jaylen is that good”? For years, we heard sports radio wetbrains saying that Brown and Tatum couldn’t play together. Now that Brad finally agrees, he’s the bad guy?

It’s amazing how Bill Simmons always has an object lesson from his own life to poorly analogize with a current sports situation.

Gonna have to bill my idiot New Hampshire relatives 35 cents for the returnable cans and bottles the threw into the regular trash on the 4th of July.

Best bet for the weekend: ships that are tall.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, PatriotsDaily, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.

Now you’re back to Now u’re back to Brown. Please continue speaking so I don’t have to remind everybody how dumb you are.Brown.N you’re back to Brown. Please continue speakin you’re back to Brown. Please continue speakNow you’re back to Brown. Please continue speaki

07/01/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Take it easy. No need for fisticuffs.

Is anyone in here actually turning off their radios??

Contreras is a compelling character – fiery hotheaded Latin with a grudge against shifting tectonic plates. His partner is his polar opposite – Yoshida is icy cool and inscrutable. The tsunamis and violent earth movements are but a falling cherry blossom in the stream of this life.

Fun fact: The attempts in a World Cup shootout are not “penalty kicks” because they don’t penalize anything — they just use that procedure. They’re “kicks from the penalty mark.” (See law 10.3.)

Jaylen Brown is clearly not the 7th best player on his team by any reasonable metric, but using analytics to troll him into a meltdown? Very funny.

Weathermen saying it’s going to be hot this week but I’m staying woke.

They should play “Sweet Caroline” at the second half hydration break to make sportswriters around the world get unnecessarily angry.

I love how in 2026 there are people who still look to Ordway for info on how the NBA works.

Is “brash” a synonym for “brainless moron”? #lol

There’s no truth to the rumor that Early strained his elbow trying to pick up Roman Anthony’s bar tab.

However this LeBron James situation plays out, it’s going to be fascinating. Could be a lot of CBA/trade/cap stuff at play here. Should be fun to put together!

Cakes are coking for Sam Rutigliano, Jamie Farr, Twyla Tharpe, Doug Carpenter, Geneviève Bujold, Debbie Harry, Mama Scartelli, Fred Schneider, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Shutt, Mike Haynes, Alan Ruck, Brian Sabean, Lorna Patterson, Grant Daulton, Hannu Kamppuri, Nancy Lieberman, Evelyn “Champagne” King, Carl Lewis, Roddy Bottum, Carl Fogarty, Patrick McEnroe, Pamela Anderson, Julianne Nicholson, Missy Elliott, Jarome Iginla, Liv Tyler, Nelson Cruz, Charlie Blackmon, Michael Wacha, and Tate McRae.

Do we like the J.J. Peterka deal? Let us know in the comments.

Hey gang of snack food addicts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Hey fat Grimace, get your dick out of the zebra cakes.”

Dianna Russini was making 800K a year? She brought home the bacon and the hog.

Sucks when you’re already uncomfortable on camera as it is and someone makes a dick comment on your appearance. And I’ve even been working on it lately because I don’t want to die of liver failure at 42. But hey internet a-holes don’t care. Oh well.

Carrabis spends more time driving by Cora’s house than working on his legs.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

You can never have toumani camaras.

How are the midgets in Nova Scotia? I feel they’re probably more midgety with the exchange rate.

Head Dummy gonna Head Dummy.

Can’t tap your helmet? Can’t throw your helmet at people? This sport has gotten soft!

Has anybody thought how much this elevates Trick’s wins over Sami? You can slide him into the main event anytime now with clear logic. Give a guy his flowers and help establish another talent. Good business.

Jaylen will go full Kyrie if someone says he’s the seventh smartest player on the team.

In honor of Italian-American Night, all the women will be absolutely smoking hot for the first five innings, and then they’ll turn into their fat mothers for the last four.

It’s so nice not to be followed around by cops anymore.

Nick Cattles doing a million trade proposals after being aggregated once is a tremendous look into his vapid empty head.

Maybe don’t open mouth kiss all the other gym dudes?

I don’t like certain elements of Socialism but I do know that Mayor Zoran Mandani Is already a national figure .

The rivalry lasts 9 innings. Being decent people lasts a lot longer.

Mbappe is probably going to with that SuperToe Award.

Massachusetts hasn’t had this bad a week for Hooters since back when Linda H. had her implants removed.

John Zannis is unequivocally the biggest retard in Celtics media and that says so much because he’s talking next to Bobby Manning.

Side loading is how Asians get pregnant.

People used to call sports radio wanting to make Clemens and Pedro closers. Let’s just take Cy Young winners pitching 200 plus innings a season and have them throw 60 innings instead. Dear departed EGA was a big proponent of converting Clemens to a closer. It all goes back to Dave Righetti. Anyone who throws a lot of strike outs should automatically become the closer, kid!

My favorite part of free agency so far was windy dropping “What if Jaylen Brown goes to the Cavs and LeBron James joins him there?” as the ESPN show went to commercial. The way he dropped that and strutted back to the desk like a boss was amazing.

I love seeing fat guys respect each other.

An MLB work stoppage might give Roman Anthony enough time to get healthy.

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone
Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone

It’s good to hear your voice, you know it’s been so long
If I don’t get your calls then everything goes wrong
I want to tell you something you’ve known all along

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone.

Freddy was the spiritual grandson of Max von Sydow’s ‘Good Nazi’ character in Victory. I hope you nabobs of negativity are proud of yourselves.

Why do you need to understand a community to make a Red Sox hat?

Don’t invite Jaylen to a conciliatory dinner at Toscano’s, send him to Table by himself and tell him to fuck off.

Honk if you remember Milly Alcock..

Can’t wait to see if Willson Contreras gets ejected for the 3rd straight game today.

New music on the radio is in desperate need of more saxophone.

Ivan Ivan? Really?

I guess ‘Annoying Pizza-Loving Midget Jew’ was deemed too clunky a title for Portnoy’s book.

Don’t forget to thank an armed service member this weekend.

Red Sox are in last place at the end of June with the worst record they’ve had in decades, and it’s still a Baseball Town.

Germany lost to a line on the map?

Best bet for the weekend: everyone comes back from the 4th with the same number of fingers they started with. Happy 250th, United States of America.

Bianca is ready for summer. Are you?

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Matt Vautour, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The tide is high but I’m holding on.

And happy Birthday to French actress Léa Seydoux.

TO’s & Threes – Celtics Column 06/26/26

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Is the Celtics glass half-empty, or half-full?

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

It’s been a rough few months for the Celtics, to say the least. It’s not often that people look at a roster featuring a four-time All-NBA First Team superstar, a Finals MVP, a reigning Coach of the Year, and a two-time Executive of the Year — and still feel the team has hit a wall. In some ways, the Celtics have. If there is a fault in Joe Mazzulla’s philosophy, it isn’t shooting too many threes. It’s the lack of an off-switch from their frantic style in the playoffs, when defenses can game-plan around Boston’s desire to win the numbers battle. It’s hard to make your threes when you can’t attack the basket against drop coverage. The Celtics have failed to generate good looks in the clutch during the playoffs in two straight years, and it has resulted in early exits that have dramatically shaken the confidence this group built from their title run.

Getting Giannis was supposed to fix that. But for whatever reason, the pursuit fell through. We can blame Brad Stevens for not going all-in, refusing to include Hugo Gonzalez, Baylor Scheierman, and more picks on top of the two first-rounders the Celtics are confirmed to have offered. Or we can believe the rumor that Bucks owner Jimmy Haslam nudged GM Jon Horst toward accepting Miami’s offer out of fear that Jaylen Brown would demand a trade. (Author’s Note: My source is Kevin O’Connor’s tweet: Kevin OConnor (@KevinOConnor) on X)


No matter who we blame, the Miami Heat now have Giannis Antetokounmpo, and the Celtics do not. Their problems remain the same as before, and the clearest avenue to address them is closed. It’s easy to fall into despair and remember the later days of the Big Three era, when it felt like Danny Ainge couldn’t make the necessary moves to prop up an aging core while rivals got younger, faster, and better.

The silver lining is that Stevens isn’t wrong, in a vacuum, to walk away if he believed the price was too high. We’ll see how Miami builds around Bam Adebayo and Giannis. They are undeniably thin in an era where the last three NBA champions have been incredibly deep. They do still hold their 2028 and 2029 first-round picks, and we’re about to find out how valuable those picks are now that Miami won’t be lingering in the play-in. If the Heat can navigate these limitations and win a title or two, Stevens getting cold feet will look worse. If they fail, the bill will come due, the Heat will be in hell, and the Celtics will still have options.

The three most gnawing words fans hate to hear: wait and see.

The advice I’ll give Celtics fans is this: stay off Twitter. Stay off Reddit. If news breaks, you’ll find out the way your fathers and grandfathers did — a friend will tell you. If it’s any consolation, Jaylen appears ready to let bygones be bygones. Unless Stevens pokes the bear and tries to trade the two-time All-NBAer a second time in one summer and that deal also falls through, it’s safe to assume Brown will remain a Celtic for the foreseeable future. The front office will pivot to addressing their pitiful situation at center and may look into trading Derrick White.

For all the faults I’ve previously laid out about “Mazzulla-Ball,” it is uniquely suited to churning out 50-win seasons and making us forget the various weaknesses this team possesses. After all, we entered the past playoffs thinking we were a Finals team with Neemias Queta, Luka Garza, and Nikola Vučević as our centers. We’ll see if White can rediscover his jump shot. If a fully healthy Jayson Tatum will fix Boston’s problem of going 3-11 against the NBA’s best teams last season. If another year of Jordan Walsh as a lockdown bench defender — along with Hugo and Baylor as reserve spark plugs — can move the needle.

Can they beat New York, Miami, Detroit, or Philadelphia as currently constructed? Probably not. And that feeling truly sucks. But there’s no use dwelling on it now. Situations change. Things can shift in a month or two. Even if everything remains the same and the Celtics fail at every plan to improve this offseason, they’ll have plenty of flexibility next summer — perhaps making it easier to trade Brown and/or White under new circumstances.

We. Will. See.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. He does not live at Boston Stadium.

06/24/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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(Involuntary shudder)

Is Thanasis still available?

For an alleged good athlete Jarren Duran’s the worst outfielder I’ve ever seen.

Was Superfoot at the Eddie Andelman memorial service?

Fox can’t handle a rain delay, meanwhile my good friends at Telemundo have the hot studio señorita chatting it up. Bueno.

Jaylen, Hugo, Scheierman and 3 1sts? What else did they want? The Jordan Marsh blueberry muffin recipe? Reggie Lewis’ headstone?

That US goal-scorer, Alex Freeman, is the son of former Packers WR Antonio Freeman.

I’m not sure why everyone is looking over the option that maybe Milwaukee just doesn’t think Brown is that good and not worth how fucking annoying he’d be after a trade like that.

Maybe I’m in the minority, but I think the Red Sox should have tried a bit harder to keep Kyle Schwarber.

If the Scots can get Massachusetts to re-legalize happy hour I’m buying a kilt.

Fun Fact: the 2026 NBA #1 Draft Pick AJ Dybantsa is from Brockton.

Cakes are cooking for Lowell Cross, Vittorio Storaro, Arthur Brown, Michele Lee, Colin Blunstone, Mick Fleetwood, Peter Weller, Patrick Moraz, Nancy Allen, Joe Penny, Juli Inkster, Bernie Nicholls, Curt Smith, Gary Suter, Uwe Krupp, Jeff Cease, Sherry Stringfield, Richard Kruspe, Karen Stupples, Mindy Kaling, Minka Kelly, Laura Donnelly, JJ Redick, Candice Patton, Phil Hughes, Solange Knowles, Lionel Messi, Erin Moriarty, 

Tyler Herro was the epitome of Heat Culture. Played hard, showed nothing but loyalty to the team. Very sad to see Miami do him dirty like this.

Are we sure that Haaland isn’t the descendant of a Targaryen?

Hey gang of obsessive ‘scapers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Green leaves always burn the best.”

Cameron has a chance to be the best Boozer in the NBA since Vin Baker.

I know nobody cares, but there has to be another piece in that Sabres-Blackhawks deal. Someone in Chicago should be fired.

Buying Springsteen on vinyl unlocks a secret old white dude handshake I think.

Red Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at JFK/UMass. Trains may stand by at stations.

I’m still annoyed about Brendan Fraser’s performance in Pressure.

If you’re eating Spaghetti-O’s in your car, your life may not be going that well to begin with.

Does Brad have to trash a hotel room now?

I don’t get the Czechia thing. We don’t call Japan Nippon.

Could you imagine if Woj came out of retirement and broke the Giannis news?

The USMNT, are they getting too much rest, Tone?

Talking to a couple bar friends. Tonight was a record-breaker for both joints. #TartanArmy

I can’t help about the shape I’m in
I can’t sing, I ain’t pretty and my legs are thin
But don’t ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
Oh well

Now, when I talked to God I knew he’d understand
He said, “Stick by my side and I’ll be your guiding hand
But don’t ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
Oh well

The Heat lucked into LeBron conspiring with Wade and Bosh and have basically assumed every star player should go there for free ever since. Then Butler backed up that belief. They got him for Josh fucking Richardson and the deplorable Hassan Whiteside. And I think they tamper their asses off, too.

For a lightskin black guy Jayson Tatum has the most Italian torso I’ve ever seen.

Maybe Comcast shouldn’t have laid off all those employees in NH?

I need a hydration break.

Eddie’s memorial service must have been well attended, what with all the former co-workers that wanted to make sure he was dead.

If Jimmy Haslem is involved in a sports transaction, I’m confident the other side comes out on top.

I like Norway’s jerseys.

Honk if you remember “Morgan Magic.”

Carli Lloyd is kinda Russini-ish. Is she hot or not? Maybe?

RIP, Duke of Dorchester Pete Doherty.

If you took away every player who actually won a title, Jimmy Butler is the greatest winner in NBA history.

Haiti needs a busier flag. And pretty much that’s all.

Quick WNBA tangent: the usual suspects rushed to Twitter Sunday night, upset that Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve said she wished they could have won that night’s game “for the gays” (it was Pride Night). Yeah Cheryl, stop making the WNBA so gay!

I can’t imagine calling an adult male ‘Scooter’.

Hockey Hall of Fame came calling for Patrice Bergeron. Justly so.

Oh no; now Jaylen’s gonna be moody.

Imagine how good Messi would be if he played in a real league.

Best bet for the weekend: that team is Ghana do it!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, PatriotsDaily, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Bare trees, grey light.

And happy birthday to Czech fashion model, tv host and philanthropist Petra Němcová.

The15 Writers’ Room- “Arrayify tituli librorum, khid!”

Harry Potter and the Podcaster’s Stoned

Harry Potter and the Secrets of the Medicine Cabinet

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Alprazolam

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fireball

Harry Potter and the Order of the Percocet

Harry Potter and the Half-Drunk Mick

Harry Potter and the Deathly Jumpshot

06/03/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Arthur. Juan. Brown.

Dianna Russini died for this trade.

Lately I’ve really been enjoying when something horrific happens during a Red Sox game to switch over to Sirius and rewinding to hear the reaction of smiley Flemming.

If the Spurs win this TITAL expect to see that Kornet block replayed forever.

Did everyone remember to wish a Happy Pride Month to the fake bisexual sports media gals?

Roman Anthony was built using parts made by Fiat.

I’m just happy one of the teams sponsored by a middle eastern airline won the big footie match.

Lou Damn Merloni never shuts up about using challenges.

Tired: ‘5th round picks are worthless, YOU overvalue them’ Wired: ‘how can you throw in a 5th rounder? Desperate!’

Ok if it’s a meteor where the hell did it land?

Cakes are cooking for Jim Gentile, Ian Hunter, Billy Cunningham, Hale Irwin, John Dykstra, Suzi Quattro, Deniece Williams, Dan Hill, Ibrahim Hussain, Scott Valentine, Steve Lyons, Dorothee “Doro” Pesch, Kerry King, Nelson Liriano, Mike Gordon, Anderson Cooper, Samantha Sprackling, Carl Everett, John Hodgman, José Molina, Az-Zahir Hakim, Cris, Travis Hafner, Al Horford, Rafael Nadal, Lalaine, and beabadoobee.

I’d assume this isn’t supposed to be my takeaway but isn’t it odd how when confronted with his own mortality Chris Gasper puts down the thesaurus and writes like normal person? Anyhoo, don’t die from cancer, man.

Hulking black teenager who’s really into Dragon Ball Z is one of the foundational American archetypes.

Bob Cousy calls A.J. Brown, ‘Arthur.’ Probably.

In other Red Sox rehab news, Garrett Crochet “can now spend several minutes in the same room as a baseball without crying.”

All the experts said the Thunder was a dynasty after winning 1 championship last year.

The Onwenu restructure is roughly the 37th story in a row that was not broken by the local Patriots beat writers. But we’re absolutely supposed to take them and everything they say seriously though.

After that Game 7 performance, Chet Holmgren should probably drop the blaccent.

I liken the way Eagles fans consume professional sports to the way young girls play with dolls.

I met Dee Brown once after he won the dunk contest. I panicked and gave him a rhinestone Chicago Bulls hat to autograph. (It was 1993 and that was the style at the time)

Hey gang of bakers and bakerinas, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Remove me from the future.”

People who think it’s actually supposed to be consistently hot here in New England during the month of May are lunatics.

Did the announcer just say Balogun is good with his feet? I hope so, he’s playing soccer.

I don’t care what FIFA wants, I’m still calling the place up in Foxboro where the World Cup matches are gonna be played Schaefer Stadium.

Television man is crazy,
Saying we’re juvenile deliquent wrecks-
Oh, man, I need TV when I got T-Rex,
Oh, brother, you’ve guessed, I’m a dude, dad!

If you’re thinking about killing yourself because Claude Lemieux died, please do it. (Necessary Legal Disclaimer goes here)

Did the Browns trade Myles Garrett to further disenfranchise Shadeur? IJATQ

Bret Michaels doesn’t want the gig?

Green Line C & D Branch Update: Normal service has resumed on the D Branch between Riverside & Brookline Hills. Shuttle buses continue to replace service on the C Branch between Cleveland Circle & Coolidge Corner.

Goodwill famously only sells brand new clothes.

Just wait until someone reads the news to Ted Johnson!

Can I PLEASE get a break from Jelly Roll?

“Tony Farmer is an important man.” – Senator Arlen Specter, if he were still on this side of the grass.

She’d like to model, or maybe act, or start a magazine
Before she signs any big contracts, she better learn to read
But in her dreams she’s the queen of the fashion regime

You ask me do I love you, does the Pope live in the woods?
Quod Erat Demonstrandum, baby. (“Ooh, you speak french!”)

She’s an AIRHEAD.
Stungun and mace, Kharmann Ghia plates say “Lost in Space”
She’s an AIRHEAD.
Thousands in trust, cusp Aquarius – get serious.
She’s an AIRHEAD.
Tinted contacts don’t change the fact that black is black.
She’s an AIRHEAD.
And while I’m impressed with the size of that chest,
she’s not an intellectual giant…

Migratory grifters pretending they knew who Claude Lemieux or Ray Bourque was before last week? Not cool.

Speaking as someone who is from NYC, chopped cheese has been a fabric of the culture of NYC food BROADLY since the late 90s early 2000s What we NOT gonna do is pull some crazy revisionist history when it comes to chopped cheese.

The Red Sox hate Fenway Park. Which is unfortunate because I love Fenway Park.

Nespresso!

Honk if you remember saxophonist Homer ‘Boots’ Randolph.

First Peabs, now Peabo. You’ll be missed, Mr. Bryson.

I like the narrative immediately swinging to “you hafta get a WR1!” To “YOU overpaid!” It’s almost as if they just need grist for the disingenuous grist mill.

I couldn’t solve today’s SteveRdle.

It would be sooooo epic if Kendra stumbled upon a Namibian village where the inhabitants were wearing Jaguars’ 2017 Super Bowl shirts.

C+C Music Factory questionable for July 4 with an upper body injury.

I’m sure Raymond Berry died contented secure in the knowledge his leading the Patriots to their 1st Super Bowl appearance and a winning overall record as HC is sufficient to earn a place in the Patriots Hall of Fame…eventually.

Happy National Egg Day.

Are these Unobstructed View commercials supposed to be enticing me to watch it?

It’s low-key kinda disrespectful to take Cam Newton’s number.

What’s with these horrible uniforms I’m seeing? “CLE!” “The Lou?” WTF?

Dan Lifshatz must have been betting on D1 tennis.

Well, if Colorado or Montreal can’t compete for the right to hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup, at least the famously hockey-mad burgs of Raleigh, North Carolina and Las Vegas, Nevada qualified to play.

Peter King never claimed Greg Bedard was almost a baseball coach!

Best bet for the weekend: no rainouts at Yankee Stadium.

Fish? Squished.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. All the young dudes.

There’s something different about Lucy, what is it though?
Kicky bangs? No. A new eyeshadow? No, that’s not it, either.
Huh. I’m stumped.

05/28/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Hey Jaylen-

Kevin, Bert Bell coined the term ‘sidepiece’.

Whenever a Montreal fan complains about the referees an angel loses its wings.

Do we really have to call a grown man “Wemby”?

Rich Hill was on one inning, and Lou Merloni had a whole pizza in front of him. Jim Rice is on the next inning and the pizza was gone.

It’s definitely been staying lighter out later this year, no?

Celtics Derrick White is the only Gaurd on the NBA All Defensive First Team.

My favorite part of THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU was seeing Cape Cod become a part of the galaxy far, far away. Not sure what planet or location it was but the topography definitely appears Cape-inspired.

Paderborn back up in the Bundesliga where they belong.

Every action shot of SGA is just him mugging like Michael Winslow in Police Academy.

A Red Sox-level tapout from the Cavs. Shameful.

Name news: The new Red Sox reliever is Tyron Guerrero, not Tayron Guerrero. There has been a clerical error throughout his career that’s now corrected.

You can tell I’m a huge US soccer fan by how much I hate all the players.

Why do I listen to the SiriusXM Beatles channel Top 100 Beatles songs each Memorial Day weekend when I know am only going to get angry?

Cakes are cooking for Carroll Baker, Hans Dulfer, Terry Crisp, Gladys Knight, Rudolph Giuliani, John Fogerty, John Wells, Roland Gift, Eugene Robinson, Beth Herr, Glen Rice, Kari Wuhrer, Kylie Minogue, Ekaterina Gordeeva, Marco Rubio, Pat Peake, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Alexa Davalos, Jhonny Peralta, Colbie Calliat, and Michael Oher.

Have more guys thrown out at home in one weekend. I would be so mad at the 3rd base coach if I knew who he was.

They really are going to ruin Nate Bargatze for me by making him do movies, aren’t they?

I came this close to buying a new OTAs hat today but then remembered it’s better to wait until they are over so I can get one on sale.

Revs had trouble handling the CLT. I can relate. Wait, what?

I wish the Red Sox would just cut ties with Clemens. Or else just retire his number. It’s like the world’s longest foreplay. Do it or don’t but stop making me watch you dry hump each other.

Poor Sidney just had one of the toughest JEOPARDY! outings these eyes have ever seen. Looked like stage fright + not getting the buzzer thing down.

I have 3 retarded dogs, all various sizes and all mutts. Non of them piss indoors, or are afraid of the rain. Al Kaprielian can suck my dick.

Kyle wants us to race on, man. Enjoy the race, it’s what he wants.

Pretty sure I just saw the newly-crowned D3 national lacrosse champs @TuftsJumbos crushing Chick-Fil-A at Reagan National.

This new Spidey/Nic Cage joint now has my attention.

I can’t watch an OKC/NY finals. I’ll be too tempted to root for the Knicks and that will (a) feel disgusting and (b) be a miserable experience because they’ll get their teeth kicked in.

Hey gang of boring autists, this week’s Phase that Pays is, “Ended up having to order a button online, doesn’t match exactly.”

Coruscant should be a candidate for “Star Wars planet or places Kennedy’s drink?”

Mortal Kombat II was fine, but man, if there’s anyone who was going to bring Johnny Cage to life in live action, they NAILED IT with Karl Urban. God, he was fantastic.

Another well-earned vacation for Kendra.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

I had a couple of check engine lights come on. But they went off after I tightened the gas cap and drove for 20 or so miles. All fix!

Did the batting cages at Kimballs. I think I now require a stint on the DL.

Between GHOST, ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER, and “Hacks”, Tony Goldwyn has played some of the scumbaggiest mofos MF in screen history.

Merloni is as bad as Scal on replays.

My latest great idea: If a hockey team pulls their goalie, the other team should be able to put a 2nd goalie on the ice.

Gorg morning Ging!

Boston Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla has been named the 2025-26 NBA Coach of the Year, earning the Red Auerbach Trophy.

He got the voices speakin’ riddles
He got the eye as black as coal
He got a suitcase covered with rattlesnake hide
And he stands right in the road.

You got to hidey-hide
You got to jump up run away.
You got to hidey-hidey-hide
The old man is down the road.

Saw Zo at Twin River a week ago. Huge beer gut. 6’5” with sunglassses gave him away. Very good to fans who approached him. Next morning I heard the Awaken180 commercial.

West Ham – Millwall twice next year just like God wanted.

Attn Celtics fans: what the Knicks did in their Game 4 destruction of the Cavs was play classic Tom Heinsohn basketball. That was the greatest fast break clinic since the 70s Celtics, and that includes the 80s “Showtime” Lakers.

Honk if you remember Patrick Roy.

Sal would’ve loved the Spurs parading Coach Pop around like Lou Carnesecca.

Serious NFL business was conducted in the Ground Round!

All time highs are when you’re supposed to invest.

Yes Mut, Red Sox fans chanted ‘sell the team’ because Portnoy popularized the phrase on Barstool merch.

The only thing that’s gay about the UFC is the muscular oiled up dudes in tight shorts rolling around on the ground, rubbing their nutsacks all over each other.

Knicks are in the finals and Shukri is a hyperlocal New Yorker again.

Best bet for the weekend: high temperatures and higher drama at Roland Garros.

no caption required

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I ain’t no fortunate son.

And happy birthday to actress Christa Miller.

05/20/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Patriots. Community. Day.

I wish Jaylen would shut up OR dribble.

Surprised Mickey Gasper hasn’t been questioned about the Gardner Museum heist.

Hey, everybody. Chill. Wemby ain’t Wilt and Wilt wasn’t Wemby. Very different players. But thanks to Wemby’s versatility you could pair them, and wouldn’t that be frightening?

Why wouldn’t they just keep using an opener for Bello? Because it was actually working?

Too little, too late on that goalie change. methinks.

James Harden should be left on the airport tarmac even though they aren’t flying anywhere.

Kyle Schwarber looks like he could be a Steiner brother.

When the NFL’s schedule release aligns with your colonoscopy prep, you write about both.

In terms of Boston movies, RA thinks he’s Affleck in The Town, but he’s actually Cliff Robertson at the beginning of Charly.

Annie Agar has almost zero white knights.

Way to let slip your husband had a no-show job with the Sox, second Mrs. Varitek.

Florio suggesting that Russini was pressured into fucking Vrabel the same day someone finds her thirst trap video is perfect. No notes.

Cakes are cooking for Sadaharu Oh, Tison Street, Cher, Craig Patrick, Steve George, Jane Wiedlin, Bronson Pinchot, Susan Cowsill, Tony Goldwyn, David Wells, Todd Stottlemyre, Mindy Cohn, Busta Rhymes, Matt Czuchry, Mike Flanagan, Jayson Werth, Rachel Platten, Sierra Boggess, Chris Froome, Enes Kanter Freedom, Harris Reed, Tara Davis-Woodhall, and Trinity Rodman.

Genuinely woke up and immediately smiled thinking about how I get to watch Wemby later. Like first thought of the entire day.

It’s 2026 and we are complaining about not getting Brusder Gratarol in the Betts deal?

Tony ‘Engagement’ Farmer. Boom. Roasted.

It’s not until you start listening to Bill Simmons with your young kids in the car that you realize how often he curses – including dropping f-bombs – on air. We were listening to his episode with Nick Wright, and I felt like I’d brought my kids to see Goodfellas.

Not a lot of babies being named Bob like there used to be.

Homemade mayonnaise?

Blue Line Update: Shuttle buses are replacing service between Wonderland and Revere Beach due to an issue with the overhead wire at Wonderland. Please expect delays as shuttles are dispatched.

Scal discovered Cooper Flagg and Stephen Curry.

I love a last name that reminds me of how Superman was paralyzed.

In accordance with his will, Mark Fuhrman’s Nazi memorabilia will be bequeathed to Curt Schilling.

I wonder why the white guy with a racially ambiguous name and million+ followers that commentates on the NBA chooses not to use an actual picture of himself?

It’s just easier to function when it’s pleasant outside and not awful.

Dave Mlicki pitched the very first regular-season game between the Mets and Yankees in 1997, and he shut out the defending champions, spinning curveballs and striking out eight. Any list of great Subway Series performers starts with him.

Hey gang of professional word-users, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You can see all the water shining on the grass.”

Man, how about that footie match? Blimey!

Mickey Gasper looks like if you incorporated Mario into RBI baseball with a cheat code.

Honk if you remember Schlitz beer.

‘Sir Winston Tulips’ was Upton Bell’s Provincetown stage name for the summer of 1980.

Maybe the Red Sox should let Tolle close his own starts?

Seems I’ve got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I’ve got to leave before I start to scream
Won’t someone lock the door and turn the key

Feeling alright (oh, no)
I’m not feeling too good myself (on, no)
If I feeling alright (oh, no)
I’m not feeling that good myself, yeah (oh, no)

Apparently there are people who are so anti-vaccine that they aren’t getting their dogs their rabies shots!!! WTF is that?! Never read Cujo?!

Who forgot to say Spida?

According to Annie Agar, she lost weight because she stopped eating refined sugar. Her entire diet must have consisted of refined sugar.

Kendrick Perkins needs to explode like Mr. Creosote.

You guys are so upset about the Red Sox being the only Boston team left when you could just be watching the Giro d’italia and then the Tour de France and then the Vuelta and then the world championships and then oh my goodness what’s this is that cyclocross I see!?

That is blatant Free Jacks erasure.

That fella who won the PGA Championship looked a bit too dusky to be an Englishman to me. Must be the coal dust.

Isiah Kiner-Falefa has now played all nine positions in the big leagues.

Hailey Van Lith sounds like an indie band name.

Break up the Revs?

The Buffalo Sabres fans can go back to not having jobs now, I guess.

Best bet for the weekend: reports of record-breaking travel.

Just sayin’.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Take these broken wings And learn to fly again Learn to live so free.

RIP to careless chanteuse Claudine Longet. She’s with Spider Sabich again, possibly.

05/13/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Patriots first pick Caleb Lomu..6’6” 313 pounds is an AVID golfer..

Just a reminder Bostonians, Mickey Gasper has a moustache, while Chris Gasper has a beard.

First the Peebs, now the Fleet are done with the ‘yoffs too?

I hate the Montréal Canadiens with a burning passion, but sacre merde it must be unbelievable to watch a playoff game in their ol’ barn.

Jarren Duran shouldn’t be on any social media at all. No forms of communication except telegraph.

Actually, you can eject Wemby from a playoff game for that.

Maybe Mike Vrabel will get a year off like Cora did. Steve Roenicke available?

WWE is in its WCW era.

Nothing like the drip drip drip of NFL schedule release week.

Way to heroically win one more playoff game than the Celtics did, Sixers.

Something you may not know: Greg Weissert is a clubhouse glue guy. A close friend of Crochet, Story, Duran and the group of bigger names on the roster. A key cog in the clubhouse culture.

Being serious I can’t wait for the Patriots schedule to drop. Going week by week and figuring out which games I’m attending is awesome.

Mitch Johnson looks like one of the ethnically ambiguous backup dancers from “Hamilton.”

Cakes are cooking for Roch Carrier, Harvey Keitel, Senta Berger, Armistead Maupin, “Blue” Lou Marini, Magic Dick Salwitz, Stevie Wonder, Paul Thompson, David Simon, Dennis Rodman, Chris Washburn, Darius Rucker, Parrish J. Smith, Tom Nalen, Josh Taves, Pusha T, Barry Zito, Mike Bibby, Sunny Leone, Lena Dunham, Robert Pattinson, Tyrann Mathieu, Willson Contreras, and Morgan Wallen.

Bob Ryan spending his golden years replying to everyone on twitter is a cautionary tale for the sports debate industrial complex.

Trevor Bauer just needs to get Josina Anderson in his camp.

Duran deleting his whole Instagram account and not just the offending Holley post signals to everyone that he’s having a mental crash out, and that’s his comfort zone. Can’t criticize me!

I hope the $12.5M cap hit next season for the Grizzlies Brandon Clarke gets removed. Right thing to do.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

Everyone whines about nepotism with regard to Noah Eagle. Did he have certain advantages to get his foot in the door? Of course. That’s called life. But once you’re in the door, you need to be good to stay there. And he is excellent.

TwoTimes tried to warn us.

Hey gang of innkeepers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “If you got time to tweet, you’ve got time to be neat.”

Is Ken the new WALLDICK? I’m missing out on all the zoinks action.

Philly must have contracted the Mazulla Myth, it must spread by human contact.

Bobby Cox didn’t die like five years ago? Huh.

You can call it what you wanna
I call it messin’ with the kid.

You know you’re at a good brewery when the two TV’s are playing women’s soccer and rodeo.

It’s UFC, not EBT.

Musta got lost, musta got lost, musta got lost
Somewhere down the line
Musta got lost, musta got lost
Give away the day you were mine.

That scene in the Netflix documentary where Cora was preparing the other coaches to handle Duran’s feelingzzzz if he didn’t make the all star team was so embarrassing.

Vic Morrow got an autopsy, too.

Jersey Mike’s turkey and provolone is one of the best subs you’ll ever have.

LeBron must be hating all the ‘will he or won’t he retire’ attention.

When Tolle walks off the mound he looks like a local stumbling out of Triple O’s in 1983.

Matt McCarthy also gets his dental work done at Town Fair Tire.

Hilarious to me that Roman Anthony talked up Alex Bregman all offseason as a leader and someone he looked up to, and then the Sox promptly let him go. Mighta been nice to keep a guy like that!

Kara Lawson shoulda been the third contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy! All-Stars with Katie and Mina!

Sad hearing about Ochre from Vengeance of the Nerds. Reminds me of my college days.

Ladies, for your own safety, stop messing with the thermostat!

Best bet for the weekend: tree pollen.

Thass right, sweatie.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I just called, to say, I love you.

And happy birthday to actress and apparently also singer Debby Ryan.

05/06/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Of course.

The show that was terrible on WZLX isn’t better on a worse station? Huh.

I’m just saying it’s awfully suspicious that Spirit Airlines went under right before every other sports fan in Boston was ready to drive Jaylen to the airport.

The Toronto Maple Leafs are lucky like Whitey Bulger when it comes to the Draft lottery.

Sports is supposed to be enjoyable but often sports is not.

Where’s the second longest bar in Worcester?

Ted Johnson wearing glasses makes me laugh every time.

Cakes are cooking for Masanori Murakami, Bob Seger, Jimmie Dale Gilmour, Mary MacGregor, David Leestma, Lynn Whitfield, Tony Blair, Tom Bergeron, Tim Simpson, Kate Collins, Julianne Phillips, George Clooney, Roma Downey, Mark Bryan, Martin Brodeur, Brooke Bennett, Edyta Sliwinska, Jason Witten, Adrianne Palicki, Gabourey Sidibe, Chris Paul, Emily Armstrong, Goran Dragić, Meek Mill, Dominika Cibulková, Jose Altuve, Naomi Scott, and Angel Reese.

I didn’t see the exit interview, did Jaylen say something pseudointellectual and glib?

The divorced whore table at the Knights was particularly aggressive the other night. I was focused on the game.

Hey, at least we don’t have to deal with any more stupid streaming-only Celtics playoff games this year.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I love that for them.”

Red Sox with a modest win streak?

Congratulations Stefon Diggs on your courtroom victory. Also; plan on being bankrupt about 5 minutes after retiring.

Green Line C Branch: May 6-17

Shuttle Buses replace service between Cleveland Circle & Kenmore for maintenance. Shuttles will not service Saint Mary’s Street, Kent Street, or Brandon Hall. Riders at Cleveland Circle can use the D Branch at Reservoir.

Does anyone in the world buy the middle tier of gasoline between unleaded and premium? Who is it for?

John Sterling. In life all good things come to an end, Suzyn. Like his shoehorning a Bambino-esque nickname for every Yankee player. RIP.

I stopped following Amaka Ubaka on Facebook tonight.

Divisive denim trend Szn!

Imagine being forced to scrub the floors while Bart Simpson menacingly informs you that your thetans are out of whack.

Punching Austin Reeves should be mandatory.

CVS needs to cool it with the text messages. I’ll pick up my prescriptions when I damn well please.

Buy gayer grass seed.

The Met Gala? Three Gobbles.

I would have watched Jaylen review tape on Twitch but, you know, I don’t have a gaming chair.

I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered?
Started hummin’ a song from 1962
Ain’t it funny how the night moves?

When you just don’t seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closin’ in…

Honk if you remember when Pinkberry was at the Prudential.

I heard Spurs-Timberwolves Game 2 can only be seen with a View-Master.

A power strip is what everything plugs into. Electricity.

Robert Edward Turner III. He’s why everyone grew up watching the Atlanta Braves on the SuperStation TBS. RIP.

I’m sure Kevin Durant won’t poison the next team he ends up with.

Best bet for the weekend: Cosplay Canadians in Buffalo outplay the genuine Canadiens.

Soon.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Night Moves.

Of course Bianca is sad that the Bruins and Celtics playoffs are over, but she’s smiling her way through it.

04/15/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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They were both in town on business! The NFL Combine! Nothing to see here!

News Item: Dianna Russini resigns. But don’t worry, I’m sure she will land on her knees.

Another 100-point season for the Good Kid?

Media people beat their chests all the time about their importance and their standards, but not so fun actually having to be held to them.

Friends drive two hours to hold hands. Let’s move on.

So were fans telling Jarren Duran to kill himself a few years ago when he was regularly freaking out at them well before the very believable suicide story was even aired?

It’s another victory for Belichick and total disdain for all media.

Getting fired the same month you found out you were elected to the hall of fame as a coach is the most Doc Rivers thing ever.

Dickie V is more cancer than man at this point.

Damar Hamlin’s clone should have put the green jacket on Rory.

Cakes are coking for Marty Wilde, Dave Edmunds, Ted Sizemore, DeDe Lind, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, Emma Thompson, Kevin Lowe, Thomas F. Wilson, Lynne Austin, Kevin Stevens, Linda Perry, Samantha Fox, Dara Torres, Ed O’Brien, Stacey Williams, Phillippi Sparks, Andy Daly, Vickie Johnson, Sergei Krivokrasov, Chris Stapleton, Patrick Carney, Seth Rogen, Margo Price, Antonio Cromartie, Emma Watson, Maisie Williams, Sexyy Red, and Jordon Chiles.

Vrabel will now have to interlock fingers with Karen Guregian the next time he sees her.

Your nickname including ‘Big’ when you work for Barstool doesn’t seem to be a useful differentiator.

Bruins fandom is just ruined by a bunch of fucking losers who think it’s a damn TV show. They’d rather watch Behind the B than pay attention to the actual fucking game.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “We’re in the WNBA free agent blender, folks.”

Imagine being those editors at The Athletic tasked with the investigation? For the first time ever, you actually want to see some cvnty broad from work’s group photos from vacation with her girlfriends.

Imagine how good Garza would be if he had Scheierman’s haircut

Shameless mumbling company man Lou is wildly overestimating the reservoir of goodwill he built up being Nomar’s butler.

Knicks play a very entitled game for a team that has won jack shit. and Towns is 7’2″ 325 lbs and also somehow the softest player in the league.

Just wait until someone reads the news to Ted Johnson!

Blue Line: Delays of about 15 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

So there’s now an opening at Barstool for a 500 pound fake gambling expert? we know one who needs a gig!

Russini has burn victim lips.

The WNBA super max being $1.4 million is objectively hilarious. I remember when McHale wanted a million dollars and on the top of the Globe Sunday sports page Larry Johnson drew a picture of him as a pig eating a trough full of money.

Whether its to Nairobi or Nineveh or Nashua, the yen to travel exists in all of us.

Forsberg now has a mullet?

It’s really sad, but this whole unseemly affair makes me skeptical of the true motives of the women in thigh-high boots who interview the tall athletes on TV. I think I’m gonna have to call out of work to regroup here.

Jeff Passan’s face is unsettling. He looks like if Cillian Murphy got stung by bees.

Anyone ever heard of Whitey Ford?

There are Jawas who have less bot engagement than Bob Ryan.

Bobby Manning talks like he mainlines Thorazine.

I keep seeing these brutally embarrassing Russini clips and one question comes to mind: did she ever actually report anything?

Bring back the blue Red Sox road alternates.

Buckle up, the playoffs means it’s peak performative szn.

It’s so seamless switching between the Amazon Prime app and the NESN 360 app!

When I’m sitting on the basement toilet, why does my wife always have to come downstairs and “do something” — every single time?

This Vrabel story unfortunately overshadowed the Red Sox’ first series win of the season.

If you didn’t like Justin Bieber’s Coachella set, just say you simply don’t get it. It was an intimate masterpiece that could only work for 1% of musicians (if that). Bravo, Justin Bieber and welcome back Kidrauhl.

I haven’t seen an Italian get cooked like this since Sacco & Vanzetti.

Will Smith thinks Dianna’s husband is too deeply into the cuckold lifestyle.

Cancer is clearly mad at Dick Vitale for all that fundraising.

the omnipresent Rich Hill going to end up in the Red Sox bullpen in late August.

Airports reveal character. And it’s always someone in an Eagles shirt.

And so I cry sometimes when I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what’s in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so, I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs, “What’s going on?”

And I say, hey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey
I said, “Hey, a-what’s going on?”
And I say, hey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey
I said, “Hey, a-what’s going on?”

Poor Di Russini loses her job while Peter Schrager proudly wears knee pads over his dress pants to orally service any member of the McVay coaching tree.

Honk if you remember Post Offices being open until midnight on Tax Deadline Day.

If my daughter tells me she wants to “work in sports,” I’m trebucheting her to a convent.

BJBSJ getting Kacsmar canceled saved him from going down with the Football Outsiders ship eleven years later! You’re welcome.

Can’t wait to see the team chemistry when Fudd and Bueckers break up.

I always keep my bottle of Frank’s Red Hot next to the DayQuil.

Bruins 7th Player Award-Minten is fine, I guess, but how is it not Aspirot?

I don’t think you can canoodle innocently.

Shams Charania is fucking Cathy Engelbert. Everybody know it and nobody says anything about it.

I aspire to have the job security of Aaron Boone and Alex Cora.

Best bet for the weekend: Marathon prep.

Less than ideal.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, @PatriotsDaily, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Standard deduction.

This is Ashley Nicole Moss, she has a journalism degree and graduated Magna Cum Laude … so what are we talking about?
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