The 15

Is anyone in here actually turning off their radios??

Contreras is a compelling character – fiery hotheaded Latin with a grudge against shifting tectonic plates. His partner is his polar opposite – Yoshida is icy cool and inscrutable. The tsunamis and violent earth movements are but a falling cherry blossom in the stream of this life.

Fun fact: The attempts in a World Cup shootout are not “penalty kicks” because they don’t penalize anything — they just use that procedure. They’re “kicks from the penalty mark.” (See law 10.3.)

Jaylen Brown is clearly not the 7th best player on his team by any reasonable metric, but using analytics to troll him into a meltdown? Very funny.

Weathermen saying it’s going to be hot this week but I’m staying woke.

They should play “Sweet Caroline” at the second half hydration break to make sportswriters around the world get unnecessarily angry.

I love how in 2026 there are people who still look to Ordway for info on how the NBA works.

Is “brash” a synonym for “brainless moron”? #lol

There’s no truth to the rumor that Early strained his elbow trying to pick up Roman Anthony’s bar tab.

However this LeBron James situation plays out, it’s going to be fascinating. Could be a lot of CBA/trade/cap stuff at play here. Should be fun to put together!

Cakes are coking for Sam Rutigliano, Jamie Farr, Twyla Tharpe, Doug Carpenter, Geneviève Bujold, Debbie Harry, Mama Scartelli, Fred Schneider, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Shutt, Mike Haynes, Alan Ruck, Brian Sabean, Lorna Patterson, Grant Daulton, Hannu Kamppuri, Nancy Lieberman, Evelyn “Champagne” King, Carl Lewis, Roddy Bottum, Carl Fogarty, Patrick McEnroe, Pamela Anderson, Julianne Nicholson, Missy Elliott, Jarome Iginla, Liv Tyler, Nelson Cruz, Charlie Blackmon, Michael Wacha, and Tate McRae.

Do we like the J.J. Peterka deal? Let us know in the comments.

Hey gang of snack food addicts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Hey fat Grimace, get your dick out of the zebra cakes.”

Dianna Russini was making 800K a year? She brought home the bacon and the hog.

Sucks when you’re already uncomfortable on camera as it is and someone makes a dick comment on your appearance. And I’ve even been working on it lately because I don’t want to die of liver failure at 42. But hey internet a-holes don’t care. Oh well.

Carrabis spends more time driving by Cora’s house than working on his legs.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

You can never have toumani camaras.

How are the midgets in Nova Scotia? I feel they’re probably more midgety with the exchange rate.

Head Dummy gonna Head Dummy.

Can’t tap your helmet? Can’t throw your helmet at people? This sport has gotten soft!

Has anybody thought how much this elevates Trick’s wins over Sami? You can slide him into the main event anytime now with clear logic. Give a guy his flowers and help establish another talent. Good business.

Jaylen will go full Kyrie if someone says he’s the seventh smartest player on the team.

In honor of Italian-American Night, all the women will be absolutely smoking hot for the first five innings, and then they’ll turn into their fat mothers for the last four.

It’s so nice not to be followed around by cops anymore.

Nick Cattles doing a million trade proposals after being aggregated once is a tremendous look into his vapid empty head.

Maybe don’t open mouth kiss all the other gym dudes?

I don’t like certain elements of Socialism but I do know that Mayor Zoran Mandani Is already a national figure .

The rivalry lasts 9 innings. Being decent people lasts a lot longer.

Mbappe is probably going to with that SuperToe Award.

Massachusetts hasn’t had this bad a week for Hooters since back when Linda H. had her implants removed.

John Zannis is unequivocally the biggest retard in Celtics media and that says so much because he’s talking next to Bobby Manning.

Side loading is how Asians get pregnant.

People used to call sports radio wanting to make Clemens and Pedro closers. Let’s just take Cy Young winners pitching 200 plus innings a season and have them throw 60 innings instead. Dear departed EGA was a big proponent of converting Clemens to a closer. It all goes back to Dave Righetti. Anyone who throws a lot of strike outs should automatically become the closer, kid!

My favorite part of free agency so far was windy dropping “What if Jaylen Brown goes to the Cavs and LeBron James joins him there?” as the ESPN show went to commercial. The way he dropped that and strutted back to the desk like a boss was amazing.

I love seeing fat guys respect each other.

An MLB work stoppage might give Roman Anthony enough time to get healthy.

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone
Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone

It’s good to hear your voice, you know it’s been so long
If I don’t get your calls then everything goes wrong
I want to tell you something you’ve known all along

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone.

Freddy was the spiritual grandson of Max von Sydow’s ‘Good Nazi’ character in Victory. I hope you nabobs of negativity are proud of yourselves.

Why do you need to understand a community to make a Red Sox hat?

Don’t invite Jaylen to a conciliatory dinner at Toscano’s, send him to Table by himself and tell him to fuck off.

Honk if you remember Milly Alcock..

Can’t wait to see if Willson Contreras gets ejected for the 3rd straight game today.

New music on the radio is in desperate need of more saxophone.

Ivan Ivan? Really?

I guess ‘Annoying Pizza-Loving Midget Jew’ was deemed too clunky a title for Portnoy’s book.

Don’t forget to thank an armed service member this weekend.

Red Sox are in last place at the end of June with the worst record they’ve had in decades, and it’s still a Baseball Town.

Germany lost to a line on the map?

Best bet for the weekend: everyone comes back from the 4th with the same number of fingers they started with. Happy 250th, United States of America.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Matt Vautour, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The tide is high but I’m holding on.