Tag Archives: new-england-patriots

Guest Patriots Column – The Cost of Apathy: Drake Maye and the Patriots’ Complete Collapse

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

You know what the most jarring experience was for me on Sunday? It wasn’t watching my franchise quarterback get obliterated, benched, and look worse by comparison to the backup who usurped him. It was the fact that I don’t care. Not “I don’t care” like I don’t care if they win or lose, or “I don’t care” because I have a steadfast belief that Drake Maye will turn it around. It is an apathy born from asking myself what else did I expect?, knowing we’ll likely see the exact same thing next week.

My only regret is that I previously said, “Maybe the Jaguars’ tendency to blitz will cause Maye to make fewer mistakes, not more!” Nice prognosis, idiot. Maye was pressured on a staggering 48.4% of his dropbacks.

In my defense, all of Maye’s mistakes actually came when he was facing little duress. That being said, his refusal to take what the defense gives him is maddening. He simply refuses to hit the open player underneath, on the sideline, or execute anything that isn’t high-risk.

Though they only scored six points, they managed to get the ball onto the Jaguars’ side of the field seven times. Each time, they failed to score a touchdown. Instead, they coughed up three critical turnovers—two interceptions and a lost fumble by Maye—ultimately walking away with only two field goals. According to Sports Bureau and NextGenStats tracking data, this ties the highest number of drives an NFL team has advanced into an opponent’s territory without scoring a touchdown in over two decades (matching a 2003 Patriots-Browns game).

The right side of the Patriots’ offensive line was a revolving door. Since losing Mike Onwenu the week prior, his replacement, Greg Van Roten, was also injured early in the contest, leading to a total collapse of protection. Veteran Morgan Moses committed a holding penalty born from bad technique, negating what would have been a 21-yard touchdown run by Maye.

(Maye had 5 WRs open here)

Maye’s short-term regression is indicative of how poorly Eliot Wolf constructed this team, putting all of his eggs in the A.J. Brown basket. Long-term, it is important to remember that Maye is not the first of a new wave of quarterbacks to suddenly regress after an initial breakout.

The more the league trends toward moving the ball up the field while only half-heartedly embracing a conservative scheme, the more this same story will play out for reasons beyond on-field personnel and the offensive coordinator. Trevor Lawrence struggled mightily until this past season, often waxing and waning, until finally learning enough that you can confidently say he’s a quarterback you can win your division with. There was no magic elixir, no change in play-calling, and no influx of talent. His brain finally learned how to play football. It is that simple fact fans don’t wish to accept as reality for Maye: he does not know how to play football yet. Full stop.

Bad Mechanics, anyone?

The people clamoring for him to be Tom Brady—to be a model of consistent excellence for 20 years—need to get their heads checked. He’ll never be that, and we’ll likely never see that again. What we can get is year-after-year development into a solid, savvy quarterback who won’t make it his personal mission to give the ball away. He’s 24 and a bit of a moron, but what we saw in 2025 doesn’t magically disappear overnight.

For the first three games of this season, the Patriots offense has scored 29 points on 30 drives. You know what that is comparable to? The 2021 New York Jets, led by Zach Wilson. (Link to the tweet that is proof of this —

I never thought I’d be clamoring for Cam Ward to be my quarterback three games into the year, yet here we are. Is Ward good? Certainly not. He misses open guys routinely and scored only seven points against the Giants in a game that was begging to be taken. But you know what he doesn’t do? Turn the ball over. If Maye had Ward’s paltry stats of two touchdowns and one interception, as opposed to one touchdown and six interceptions, this team is 2-1—or hell, maybe 3-0 if they could give their defense a needed respite. Give me the quarterback who understands on some macro level that he sucks and plays within his limitations over the quarterback who says all the right things about accountability but goes out there and makes the same mistakes. At this point, any Patriots possession that ends in a punt rather than a turnover should be welcomed.

Is it a sign of defeat when you say not to expect a championship-level quarterback this season, next season, or even the season after that? Of course it is! But you shouldn’t hope for Maye to be that right now because it’s akin to banging your head against a wall. Just hope he becomes someone the Patriots are willing to keep around on a reasonable salary when his rookie contract is torn up. They won’t do it, and they absolutely shouldn’t do it, but I’d be inclined to want to see Tommy DeVito out there—knowing he isn’t any good—out of sheer curiosity to see if my inclination that this is largely Maye’s fault is correct. In the stint DeVito had in garbage time against Jacksonville, he did not turn the ball over, completed three passes for 30 yards, and logged an efficient 77 passer rating. The ball came out quickly, and the Patriots played a cleaner brand of offense in that little stint than at any point prior this season.

If you were to ask me in August how I saw this first matchup against the Bills going, I’d tell you both quarterbacks would try to keep the opposing team in the game, and ultimately it would come down to coaching and the fact that Buffalo’s defense stinks, allowing the Patriots to eke out a win. Now? I thoroughly expect a boat race. The good news is that after Buffalo, the Patriots have two easier games against Las Vegas and New York. While the Raiders are 3-0 and the Jets are feisty, the Patriots should not lose those games. If they lose those, you might as well start preparing for 2027.

If they can claw their way to 3-3 heading into week six, maybe A.J. Brown comes back, the offense opens up a little, Maye steadies himself, and the team can play the conservative style it needs to remain competitive for a playoff spot.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com.

Guest Patriots Column – Come What Maye

Drake knows he has to be better.

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Suffice it to say, the Patriots’ original plan heading into the season did not survive first contact. Injuries have plagued this team dating back to training camp, when veteran tight end Julian Hall was ruled out for the year. This loss, followed by losing A.J. Brown and Mike Onwenu, is steadily pushing offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels into places he does not want to go—namely, putting the game more in Drake Maye’s hands.

For the past two weeks, Maye has thrown into double coverage, backed his way into sacks, and exhibited poor footwork. Last season, he threw a measly 8 interceptions. This year, he already has four. Each interception can be attributed to the same problem: throwing into double coverage and diverting from the conservative game plan.
Maye is not the first quarterback to regress this season. If your name isn’t Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, or Lamar Jackson, virtually everyone is regressing. For Maye, the story behind his step backward is a lack of patience and maturity. Now, I don’t mean maturity in terms of being a good teammate or a hard worker; there is nothing to suggest Maye is anything but a model coworker. Rather, he lacks the maturity to put mistakes behind him so he does not repeat them in the same game. He will beat himself up, get down, and then make the same mistake a quarter later. Say what you want about Rhamondre Stevenson—the man can be a fumbling machine—but in the Pittsburgh game, he got benched after losing the ball, came back, and ran with power.

The numbers from Next Gen Stats indicated that Maye was pressured on 48.1% of his dropbacks against Pittsburgh. But I watched that game. While the protection could certainly be better, the stat does not reveal that those pressures are also partly Maye’s fault. He is backing into pressure, bailing from clean pockets, and failing to step up. His new habit of fadeaway, off-balanced throws is also maddening. We can blame the offensive line, the receivers, and the coordinators all we want, but the bottom line is that even if they aren’t perfect, they aren’t a hindrance to the degree that lets Maye off the hook.

The Patriots are 1-1 heading into a battle against Jacksonville when they should be 2-0. The concern is that Jacksonville, while flawed, knows who they are, and their quarterback isn’t as mistake prone as ours. A well-balanced, defensive-oriented game should notch a win for Jacksonville. The good news is that the Jaguars’ defense tends to blitz at a high rate (36.7% through two weeks), and Maye’s primary issue is that he struggles when teams rush four or fewer defenders. Three of his four interceptions came against that exact scheme. If Jacksonville decides to blitz, perhaps it will actually limit Maye’s mistakes.

This offseason, you could have made the case that the Patriots were quietly mismanaging their wide receiver group. While keeping Stefon Diggs on his original three-year, $69 million deal right as the cap hike was about to happen would have been malpractice. His age and history of knee problems was enough to scare teams away. But there was a possibility they could have cut him and taken their chances that he would return on a deal similar to the one he signed with the Washington Commanders.
I get the rationale and respect the idea that cutting a player just to re-sign him to a smaller deal is rare. I don’t blame management for cutting Diggs; I would have done the same thing. The mistakes I believe they made are ones I likely would have made too: letting Diggs walk and signing Romeo Doubs. It all felt like a pragmatic upgrade designed to take advantage of having an elite quarterback on a rookie contract.

It is too early to properly evaluate the A.J. Brown trade. While I previously pointed to scenarios where it could be very profitable for New England, his age and asking price made me hope the deal wouldn’t happen. Not to mention, it created a glut at the wide receiver position that painted New England into a corner. Suddenly, Maye’s deep threat, Kayshon Boutte, was shipped off for a solid backup safety, Jaylen Reed, who will get playing time due to injuries in the secondary. However, I felt it was understated just how much the continuity Maye built with his players last season mattered.

Last year, the Patriots spent the offseason building a rapport in training camp, scrimmages, and preseason games. This preseason, the starters on offense did not play at all. Back in the Brady-Belichick era, even though the offense would run a vanilla, bare-bones operation in August, it got everyone reacquainted with game speed and presented them with opportunities to solve problems on their own without wasting schemes needed for games that counted.
That preparation was severely lacking this preseason. Not only has it led to a standard September where games are treated like an extended exhibition, but it has also put New England squarely behind the 8-ball. Go watch Maye in November and December of last year, look at the poise he possessed, and compare that to him now. It is like all his development went out the window.

Much has been said about McDaniels “not having a feel for this team,” but it is hard to take that argument in good faith. For one, I think McDaniels possesses an intimate knowledge of what this team can and cannot do. Until Maye’s footwork stops looking like a baby deer, he will have to play a conservative style that grinds out wins. Every interception is simply validation that he has not yet earned the right to throw 50 times a game and play on the same tier as the elite quarterbacks we want him to emulate.

Do not ‘just sling it.’

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. 

Guest Patriots Column – Regarding Hunter Henry

Doesn’t he just look right in the old Pat Patriot uniform, Craig?

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

New England has a history of dynamic tight ends who, in the barest sense, acted as security blankets for their quarterbacks. Of course, that is a criminally minimalist way to explain the contributions of Rob Gronkowski, Ben Coates, and Russ Francis. They could block, catch, run, and open up the game. They’re either enshrined in Canton, waiting for their gold jacket, or at worst qualified to be inducted into the Hall of Very Good (Coates).

Hunter Henry, now entering his age-32 season with the Patriots, likely won’t receive a gold jacket or be widely remembered. The fandom of this current Patriots team is centered on Drake Maye—and understandably so. Eventually someone who catches his spirals will become a Twitter darling to the hyper-online community. But that won’t be Henry. Something about how he plays, looks, and conducts himself doesn’t register. Yet on the field he’s been the team’s most dependable player in an era plagued by instability.

Thanks Bill.


Since Bill Belichick signed Henry in the rare Robert Kraft green-lit splurge of 2021, his quarterbacks have been plentiful and mostly bad: Mac Jones, Bailey Zappe, Jacoby Brissett, and then finally Maye. Despite that, his raw numbers never dipped, and he has compiled an impressive résumé over his five seasons in Foxborough.

In five years, Henry ranks among franchise tight ends third in receptions (259), fourth in yards (2,973), fourth in touchdowns (26), first in catch percentage (68.3%), and fourth in total games (81).

While Gronkowski excelled in the vertical game, Coates specialized in brute force across the middle, and Francis was a trailblazer in utilizing raw, imposing speed, Henry has exercised spatial awareness and acts as a high-IQ chain mover.
He cannot duplicate the blocking ability of Gronkowski, though he does excel as a positional blocker, accumulating an above-average block win rate of 75.8%. Everything Henry does is in the shadows and easily forgotten.

On third downs he is primarily the safety blanket his quarterback will look to if things break down. Over his career, an elite 84.4% of his third-down receptions have resulted in a first down. In third-and-medium settings, Henry can use his football IQ to find and exploit soft spots in zone coverage.

He can use his body to shield off trailing defenders, giving Maye an open, low-risk window to throw into. Even when defenders lock down in man coverage on third down, Henry’s strong hands stand out. He ranked fourth among all tight ends with 13 contested catches last season.

In the red zone, Henry can find his way through traffic, boasting an impressive 63% catch rate inside the 20-yard line. Twenty-four of his touchdowns in a Patriots uniform have come from inside the red zone. What he does is actually similar to what A.J. Brown does, only from the inside rather than the outside.

Just recently he signed a two-year extension and will be expected to shoulder the brunt of the load at his position, as he has throughout his entire tenure. Co-stars at the position have come and gone: Jonnu Smith, Mike Gesicki, Austin Hooper, and now rookie Eli Raridon is expected to suit up next to him as the second tight end.

Henry represents dependability and leadership both on and off the field even as the team around him burned.

It’s all about Drake Maye in Foxborough. As it should be. And Brown eats up what little oxygen is left. Henry exists on the fringes, but when you look at what he’s meant to this franchise that’s been in flux, you can’t put a price on that level of peace of mind.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. 

07/01/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Take it easy. No need for fisticuffs.

Is anyone in here actually turning off their radios??

Contreras is a compelling character – fiery hotheaded Latin with a grudge against shifting tectonic plates. His partner is his polar opposite – Yoshida is icy cool and inscrutable. The tsunamis and violent earth movements are but a falling cherry blossom in the stream of this life.

Fun fact: The attempts in a World Cup shootout are not “penalty kicks” because they don’t penalize anything — they just use that procedure. They’re “kicks from the penalty mark.” (See law 10.3.)

Jaylen Brown is clearly not the 7th best player on his team by any reasonable metric, but using analytics to troll him into a meltdown? Very funny.

Weathermen saying it’s going to be hot this week but I’m staying woke.

They should play “Sweet Caroline” at the second half hydration break to make sportswriters around the world get unnecessarily angry.

I love how in 2026 there are people who still look to Ordway for info on how the NBA works.

Is “brash” a synonym for “brainless moron”? #lol

There’s no truth to the rumor that Early strained his elbow trying to pick up Roman Anthony’s bar tab.

However this LeBron James situation plays out, it’s going to be fascinating. Could be a lot of CBA/trade/cap stuff at play here. Should be fun to put together!

Cakes are coking for Sam Rutigliano, Jamie Farr, Twyla Tharpe, Doug Carpenter, Geneviève Bujold, Debbie Harry, Mama Scartelli, Fred Schneider, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Shutt, Mike Haynes, Alan Ruck, Brian Sabean, Lorna Patterson, Grant Daulton, Hannu Kamppuri, Nancy Lieberman, Evelyn “Champagne” King, Carl Lewis, Roddy Bottum, Carl Fogarty, Patrick McEnroe, Pamela Anderson, Julianne Nicholson, Missy Elliott, Jarome Iginla, Liv Tyler, Nelson Cruz, Charlie Blackmon, Michael Wacha, and Tate McRae.

Do we like the J.J. Peterka deal? Let us know in the comments.

Hey gang of snack food addicts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Hey fat Grimace, get your dick out of the zebra cakes.”

Dianna Russini was making 800K a year? She brought home the bacon and the hog.

Sucks when you’re already uncomfortable on camera as it is and someone makes a dick comment on your appearance. And I’ve even been working on it lately because I don’t want to die of liver failure at 42. But hey internet a-holes don’t care. Oh well.

Carrabis spends more time driving by Cora’s house than working on his legs.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

You can never have toumani camaras.

How are the midgets in Nova Scotia? I feel they’re probably more midgety with the exchange rate.

Head Dummy gonna Head Dummy.

Can’t tap your helmet? Can’t throw your helmet at people? This sport has gotten soft!

Has anybody thought how much this elevates Trick’s wins over Sami? You can slide him into the main event anytime now with clear logic. Give a guy his flowers and help establish another talent. Good business.

Jaylen will go full Kyrie if someone says he’s the seventh smartest player on the team.

In honor of Italian-American Night, all the women will be absolutely smoking hot for the first five innings, and then they’ll turn into their fat mothers for the last four.

It’s so nice not to be followed around by cops anymore.

Nick Cattles doing a million trade proposals after being aggregated once is a tremendous look into his vapid empty head.

Maybe don’t open mouth kiss all the other gym dudes?

I don’t like certain elements of Socialism but I do know that Mayor Zoran Mandani Is already a national figure .

The rivalry lasts 9 innings. Being decent people lasts a lot longer.

Mbappe is probably going to with that SuperToe Award.

Massachusetts hasn’t had this bad a week for Hooters since back when Linda H. had her implants removed.

John Zannis is unequivocally the biggest retard in Celtics media and that says so much because he’s talking next to Bobby Manning.

Side loading is how Asians get pregnant.

People used to call sports radio wanting to make Clemens and Pedro closers. Let’s just take Cy Young winners pitching 200 plus innings a season and have them throw 60 innings instead. Dear departed EGA was a big proponent of converting Clemens to a closer. It all goes back to Dave Righetti. Anyone who throws a lot of strike outs should automatically become the closer, kid!

My favorite part of free agency so far was windy dropping “What if Jaylen Brown goes to the Cavs and LeBron James joins him there?” as the ESPN show went to commercial. The way he dropped that and strutted back to the desk like a boss was amazing.

I love seeing fat guys respect each other.

An MLB work stoppage might give Roman Anthony enough time to get healthy.

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone
Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone

It’s good to hear your voice, you know it’s been so long
If I don’t get your calls then everything goes wrong
I want to tell you something you’ve known all along

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone.

Freddy was the spiritual grandson of Max von Sydow’s ‘Good Nazi’ character in Victory. I hope you nabobs of negativity are proud of yourselves.

Why do you need to understand a community to make a Red Sox hat?

Don’t invite Jaylen to a conciliatory dinner at Toscano’s, send him to Table by himself and tell him to fuck off.

Honk if you remember Milly Alcock..

Can’t wait to see if Willson Contreras gets ejected for the 3rd straight game today.

New music on the radio is in desperate need of more saxophone.

Ivan Ivan? Really?

I guess ‘Annoying Pizza-Loving Midget Jew’ was deemed too clunky a title for Portnoy’s book.

Don’t forget to thank an armed service member this weekend.

Red Sox are in last place at the end of June with the worst record they’ve had in decades, and it’s still a Baseball Town.

Germany lost to a line on the map?

Best bet for the weekend: everyone comes back from the 4th with the same number of fingers they started with. Happy 250th, United States of America.

Bianca is ready for summer. Are you?

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Matt Vautour, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The tide is high but I’m holding on.

And happy Birthday to French actress Léa Seydoux.

Guest Patriots Column – What Can A.J. Brown Do For NE?

better start reading Erhardt-Perkins, buddy.

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

It’s difficult in the moment to gauge how you’ll ultimately feel about a transaction like the one the Patriots just made for star wideout Arthur Juan ‘A.J.’ Brown. The new-car smell evaporates quickly and gives way to pessimism. But the truth is we won’t know for sure until the fall whether this is the move that pushes the defending AFC champions over the top.

The Brown/Patriots/Eagles affair was the worst-kept secret in the league for months. You only had to wait until four o’clock on the afternoon of June 1, when Philadelphia was no longer on the hook for the 29-year-old wideout’s massive $43.4 million dead-money cap hit, to consummate the deal.

The Eagles wanted cap relief and assets; the Patriots wanted a big-name weapon to pair with their blue-chip quarterback and solid wide receiver group. Safe to assume both sides got what they wanted. The Eagles get to split Brown’s salary between the 2026 and 2027 seasons while picking up a 2028 first-round pick in the process. The Patriots finally land the big-name weapon that has eluded this team since Randy Moss (or Brandin Cooks, depending on how you look at it).

Philadelphia had clearly lined their ducks up in a row, knowing Brown wasn’t sticking around. They drafted a wide receiver with their first-round pick this year, promoted DeVonta Smith as their WR1, and stayed relatively quiet on trade partners beyond New England. This entire saga lacked significant drama because it had felt inevitable since October of last season, when Brown and quarterback Jalen Hurts had a very public falling out.

The red flags are obvious for the Patriots. Brown is quick to let players, coaches, and the media know when he’s dissatisfied. He stomped his way out of a well-run Eagles organization.

Happy times are here again?

It’s easy to envision him burning bridges with Mike Vrabel, clashing with Josh McDaniels, and forcing Drake Maye to deal with the kind of prima donna behavior that can be cancerous to a young star quarterback.

Historically, you’d rather be the team unloading a vaunted WR1 than acquiring him. Once a big-money wide receiver is over 28, his chances of consistently living up to that contract tend to decline.

Yet the appearance of security a star like Brown provides often leads teams to overlook that reality. Football remains the one major sport where you can realistically build from within and still have the flexibility to pounce on the right opportunity.
You very rarely buy a championship in pro football. What New England is hoping for is that Brown has a seismic enough impact to make the offensive line, linebacker depth, and defensive line concerns irrelevant.

Brown is already showing significant wear and tear after seven seasons of bruising, bully-ball work with the Titans and Eagles. His physical style has taken a toll: double knee surgery after his rookie contract, repeated knee issues, and clear athletic decline (his yards-after-catch average dropped to a career-low 12.9 this past season).

Many are comparing this deal to the Patriots’ past acquisitions of Randy Moss or Brandin Cooks, but the circumstances and player profiles aren’t the same. Moss was older but cost only a fourth-round pick. Cooks was just 24, cost a first- and a third-rounder, and was flipped for two firsts a year later. Brown cost significant draft capital, is five years older than Cooks was at the time, and comes with larger question marks.

Howie Roseman is an excellent general manager. If Eliot Wolf is truly running the show in Foxboro, it’s hard to see him getting outmaneuvered here. The Patriots got their shiny new toy and have officially “won” the offseason. History shows that rarely translates into winning actual games.

Case in point.

Vinny Jace is a special contributor to The15net.com. He was not born and raised in South Philadelphia.

Football Cat’s Super Bowl LX Pick

The Patriots are back in the Super Bowl for the 12th time in the past 41years. For all you non-math majors out there, that equates to 29.3% of the time. Not bad for a franchise that used to play in a Zayre’s parking lot back in the AFL days.

No metal bleachers

The Patriots have now been to 4 more Super Bowls than any other team, with an overall record of 6-5 heading into Sunday’s game. If they win, they will break a tie with the Steelers for the most wins in Super Bowl history. If they lose, they will break a tie with the Broncos for most losses in Super Bowl history. So win or lose they are guaranteed to make history. We here at Football Cat World Headquarters just hope everyone has fun!

Nothing is more fun than winning!


Speaking of fun, here is a fun fact: Sam Darnold is 0-4 against the Patriots in his career, three losses with the Jets and one with the Panthers. He has thrown 1 touchdown and 9 interceptions, with a combined passer rating of 41.2. The Patriots are the monkey in Sam Darnold’s wrench.

Are YOU really going to lose to Sam Darnold?


And as we head into the long off season, remember Tom Brady may hate you but Football Cat loves you. See you in September.

Sunday Dinner Time
Seahawks (-4.5) at Patriots

Fake Seabids can’t exorcise these ghosts. Drake Maye IS!

You go girl!

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Conference Picks 2026

Storms brewiin’

Not only do we have an AFC Championship game to look forward to on Sunday, but we also have the storm of the century bearing down on our beloved six state region, yes even Rhode Island. How much snow will YOU get? Well, that depends on many factors: how close to the benchmark the storm is, where does any banding set up, what is the QPF and how much love you have in your heart.

My heart isn’t in it

And before you rush out to the stores to stock up on bread and milk, remember these wise words:
“Look, I’m not saying I could do it better than them. I’m just saying they’re wrong a lot. That’s a fact. They’re wrong a lot. We all make mistakes. I’m not being critical of them, I’m just saying I don’t think you can go based on that. My experience of going with the forecast in this area two days before the game, I mean I’d bet a lot that they’re wrong, just based on history because they’re almost always wrong. An hour before the game, maybe. You might have something to work with there. I think if you start game planning for what the weather is going to be and you game plan wrong, you’ve wasted a lot of time.” – Bill Belichick, October 31, 2014

14 day forecast?!?!?!

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Patriots (-4.5) at Broncos

Patriots bust Broncos

He’s comfortable at altitude

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams at Seahawks (-2.5)

Horny Sheep spook Darnold

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

01/21/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Boutte. Comes up big.

Lotta sports. Good thing I have 3 TVs.

Patriots win Sunday the ‘who people are rooting for in Super Bowl LX’ graphic is going to look like the 1972 presidential electoral map.

One minute your quarterback is spiking the ball backwards at midfield for no reason, the next minute you’re fired.

But I hear McDermott’s interviewing to be the number 2 guy at Al-Qaeda.

Khyiris Tonga joins the NFL “All Island” team along with James Cook, Xavier Rhodes, Howie Long, Matt Cassel, Taiwan Jones, and Jeff Ireland.

Fenway Park is officially the ‘Ranger Zone.’

I have to wonder that if the Patriots had to play Josh Dobbs this weekend if all the Boston mediots would tell Denver hosts how surprisingly good he is.

Being the new fattest guy at Barstool is like being the world’s oldest person.

Sure, Cardi B has sleep paralysis demon physiognomy, but she probably has a lovely singing voice.

When there’s something worth celebrating, Dondero is a breath of fresh air on the postgame show. At least he’s happy.

Cakes are cooking for Jack Nicklaus, Placido Domingo, Chris Britton, Jill Eikenberry, Billy Ocean, Marty Walsh, Mike Krukow, Jeff Koons, Peter Fleming, Bob Brill, Robby Benson, Detlef Schrempf, Hakeen Olajuwan, Charlotte Ross, Cat Power, Shelley Looney, Emma Bunton, Jerry Trainor, David F. Sandberg, and Luke Grimes.

If the Patriots lost Maye on a designed roll out that meant nothing I would drive McDaniels to T.F. Green myself.

Tuesday’s Wordle, yaaaaa…!!!

Here’s the thing: the sports media, they all hate their jobs. Which is why it’s so funny that they resort to “you hate me because I have your dream job” when they get criticized.

The Dedham Grant was known for its rich assortment of prized hardwoods.

The local TV news person can’t have a sports rooting interest? I’m surprised KPD would lump that riff-raff in with real journalism!

Jet fuel can’t melt pass interference.

I’ve yet to find a non-terrible person making ‘the Dodgers are not ruining baseball’ argument.

I’m convinced Sean Payton would call a pass play in victory formation.

Hey gang of opera lovers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is,”Fran Rogers gets tons of pelt.”

Fun fact: the heaters in Hondas are most efficient when set to blow hot medium.

Buffalo didn’t Stand Up for Sean McDermott.

Please remember, they’re not ‘sports betting whores’, they’re ‘clamdicappers’.

Blue Line Update: Delays of about 15 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations

I never understand throwing the jacket on the QB for 10 seconds during a stoppage in play. Doesn’t it make him want to stay under there?

Indiana was recruiting my older brother wayyyy back in the mid 2000s before they were the football program we see before us today. For that reason alone I’ve always hoped they’d find success. What an amazing story.

Harrison Meavis is an all-time terrible name.

I want Maria Taylor to toss me around with her gigantic hands.

Does Sports Illustrated know that Karalis is a real person? Because they don’t hire many of those.

Well, the brother of Carson Palmer thinks Stidham is good so that settles it: game on.

How do you have an entire organization whose mission is to combat Jewish stereotypes and then publicly bitch about paying out 0.1 % of your net worth?

I’m always team whatever TV drug is advertised. Doubly so when it affects my genitals.

Already annoyed with all the Conformity Gate BS that’s gonna come out of this SNL Episode.

You think Dart Adams ever messed around and made a Willie Bennett NBA Live player?

I just realized that candles with 2 wicks are just a scam by Big Candle to make your candles burn more quickly so you need to buy more candles.

What does Mina Kimes got to do to get a head coaching or GM interview?

Girl you’re gettin’ that look in your eyes
And it’s startin’ to worry me
I ain’t ready for no family ties
Nobody’s gonna hurry me

Just keep it friendly girl
’cause I don’t wanna leave
Don’t start clingin’ to me girl
‘Cause I can’t breathe

Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me
Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me
’cause I’ll just use you then I’ll set you free
Baby, baby, don’t get hooked on me.

Using ‘The Ville’, for Louisville sounds like ‘Beantown’ or ‘Frisco’ in that nobody from there refers to it as such.

Here’s hoping the new Commanders stadium gets called the ‘RFK Jr.’

There’s never been a poor person named Tad.

I bet Rich Little does a great Frank Caliendo impression.

As an early adopter of AI, let me say this: It is far less advanced and sophisticated than normies perceive. You’re basically talking to the world’s most advanced screwdriver. Practical when you need to drive a screw. But you wouldn’t ask a screwdriver for life advice.

Honk if you remember John McEnroe getting expelled from the Australian Open.

Any college basketball games being fixed today?

Jarrett Stidham’s Arapaho name is ‘Wears Two Wristwatches’.

Think they’ll be some bad blood when the Habs visit the ol’ barn this weekend, Brick?

Nice to win the Jack Easterby Bowl.

Them Bosa brothers are about to apply for ICE TONIGHT.

Kendra is Temu Charlotte Wilder.

When did we start calling curveballs “sweepers”?

Best bet for the weekend: Flawless officiating in both Conference Championship games.

The upcoming Tubi remake of ‘Clue’ looks amazing.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Wild thing, I think I love you. But I wanna know for sure. So come on, hold me tight. I love you.

And happy birthday to Wareham, Massachusetts’ Own Geena Davis.

Football Cat’s Divisional Round Picks

It’s been a fun week basking in the glory of the first Patriots playoff win since Super Bowl LIII, but now it’s time to focus on the next opponent, the Houston Texans. What better way to break it all down, than a Dan Shaughnessy style look at how each team’s respective home town matches up with the other.

A football cat


Houston has the Johnson Space Center.
Foxborough has the Gillette Stadium Lighthouse.
Advantage: Patriots

The landlocked lighthouse is much more impressive

Well there you have it, bet your kid’s college tuition on the home team and thank us later

Saturday Dinner Time
Bills at Broncos (-1.5)

Buffalo sauces Nix

Buffalo are right at home in Denver

Saturday Prowl Time
49ers at Seahawks (-7)

Fake Seabirds rain on Purrrdy’s parade

Someone left the cat out in the rain

Sunday Early Dinner Time
Texans at Patriots (-3)

As that great Patriot, Patrick Star once opined: “The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb old stupid Texas! “

SpongeBob had it fisrt

Sunday Late Dinner Time
Rams (-3.5) at Bears

Horny sheep bang da’ Bears

This is why all Bears fans support two teams

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks 2026

Happy New Year to all who celebrate!

Happy Mew Year

From the home office in Nashua New Hampshire, the Top 10 Cat New Year’s resolutions for 2026…

  • 10. Stop knocking things off the table… before making eye contact.
    9. Learn what “no” means — and continue to ignore it.
    8. Sit on warm laptops instead of freshly folded laundry. (Maybe)
    7. Eat food more slowly so humans stop accusing me of “inhaling.”
    6. Meow at 3 a.m. with a clearer sense of purpose.
    5. Fit into boxes without questioning physics.
    4. Respect personal space — primarily my own.
    3. Pretend to be grateful when receiving gifts I absolutely hate.
    2. Reduce judgmental staring to under 14 hours a day.
    1. Finally reveal why I do anything… just kidding!

Saturday Dinner Time
Panthers at Buccaneers (-2.5)

Black cats sink Bucs

Never too early to mark those calendars

Saturday Prowl Time
Seahawks (-1.5) at 49ers

Purrrrrdy swallows fake Sea Birds

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Falcons (-3)

Falcons excommunicate Saints

St.Gertrude of Nivelles, patron saint of cats

Browns at Bengals (-7.5)
Stripey Cats eat elves

Colts at Texans (-10.5)
Houston’s practice squad has no problem with Indy’s practice squad

Titans at Jaguars (-12.5)
Jags top Tits

Did someone say “Jags tit top”?

Packers at Vikings (-6.5)
Vikings win by default

Cowboys (-3.5) at Giants
Dart defeats Dallas

Darts is (are?) the sport of the future

Jets at Bills (-7)
Bills ground Jets

Visual flight rules are in affect

Lions at Bears (-3)
Bears send Jungle Kings into hibernation

Chargers at Broncos (-12.5)
Is this the long awaited Trey Lance breakout game? Sorry Patriot fans, it is not.

Cardinals at Rams (-7.5)
Rams rough up Red Birds

Chiefs (-5.5) at Raiders
Raiders are dozing for Mendoza

It’s not tanking, it’s napping

Dolphins at Patriots (-10.5)
Patriots drop Coach Drip

Commanders at Eagles (-7)
American Birds crush Commies

The good old days when Russia were the bad guys

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens (-3.5) at Steelers

Team X lives! Black birds get to prove that they aren’t afraid to lose on Wild Card Weekend.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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