08/26/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
Being really into baseball feels closer to being into trains or military history than it does following other sports. That’s not a judgement but an observation.
I think I’d rather be found in the actual ‘Palestine’ instead of a trailer park in East Palestine, Ohio.
Rear Admiral is like an alien from Men in Black trying to blend into society as a real person.
The Saugus Rocket with a worse takeoff than the Space Shuttle Challenger.
You would assume an MLB team owner would be more Hanukkah Steinberg than Kwanza Jones.
I’m sorry to say this because she seems like a lovely person but Mary Steenburgen’s voice goes right through me.
Roman is almost Nomar spelled backwards.
The local media was visibly disappointed there were no fights during the Pats/Eagles joint practice.
Sam Malone’s character was inspired by B’s Derek Sanderson – a charismatic athlete who hung around Boston bars in the ’70s and developed a drinking problem which derailed his career.
The only way Jerry Thornton could love Sophie Cunningham more is if she seduced a 14-year old boy.
Barn coat sales must spike every two years right before they start filming political ads.
Boutte had a lot of big catches. Big Boutte.
Cakes are cooking for Moe Tucker, Valerie Simpson, Bob Cowsill, Billy Rush, John Kinsella, Branford Marsalis, Ola Ray, Chris Burke, Dan Vickrey, Shirley Manson, Myron Guyton, Adrian Young, Drew Hester, Elaine Irwin, Melissa Mccarthy, Tyler Connolly, Carey Tally, Patrick Kennedy, Jamal Lewis, Chris Pine, Macaulay Culkin, Birdie Kim, John Mulaney, David Price, Wayne Simmonds, James Harden, and Keke Palmer.
If I was a billionaire NFL Owner, you’d never have to worry about me being in the news for soliciting prostitutes or going to a rub and tug. I’d be too busy just loving life owning an NFL team and wanting to win Super Bowls. Just saying lol
Lay off the naturals lady.
Have you seen any crazy hummus dip patterns lately?
Random but I love that theres just been a group of birds hanging out in left field all day. Eli White might be a Disney Princess in disguise.
Blue Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a maintenance train inspecting the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Not to be misogynistic but women are idiots.
We live in a world where I have to see Tyler Milliken half naked. I’ve see that fat bitches tits more times in 6 months than Ive seen my wifes.. in fairness to Tyler, he looks like he’d understand what a love tap to the eye means after dinner.
Little League World Series dads in the stands wearing arm sleeves is why they hate us.
Eli White is Jewish Dave Roberts.
If Klay Thompson in 2000 2627 is part of your big 3, then your 3 is not big at all.
The Red Sox have gone from 14 games under .500 to 14 games over .500 in 62 days, the second-shortest such turnaround in MLB history (Elias Sports Bureau). The Red Sox are also the first team in MLB history to get to extra innings by way of two Mickey Gasper solo homers and a fastball hitting an umpire squarely in the face (Hurley Sports Bureau).
Just wait until someone reads the news to Ted Johnson.
Hey gang, this Week’s Phrase that Pays is, “What a strange reply. But yeah, you do you too.”
Cedanne cannot be trusted to challenge pitches.
Why didn’t Michael Holley think of that move when he was stuck co-hosting with Mike Salk?
It would really stick it to the patriarchy if Sara Civ were to dump them out.
An MBTA Orange Line shuttle bus that was supposed to take passengers to North Station accidentally drove them to Stoneham instead Thursday morning. The driver is no longer working the shuttle service. It happened on Day 1 of the 11-day Orange Line shutdown.
News Item: WNBA team reveals new queer turtle mascot to taunt Indiana Fever star Sophie Cunningham. Okay.
Paul Perillo is actually starting to look like the animated Bob’s Discount Furniture guy.
I got a ton of respect for Marcus Freeman. A Jim Tressel Buckeye if there ever was one.
Mario Hilario blowing Liberace isn’t as gay as the Sox outfield gayball celebration dance. Which is gay.
They left poor Lucy alone with Matt McCarthy on Boston Has Entered the Chat.
Want to hear something funny? I just dreamed I saw Mickey Gasper it a 414-foot homer to dead center!
A fan in a Luka Dončić jersey threw a green object on the court while the Sparks and Dream were lined up at the free-throw line. The object was covered up with a towel and the fan was chased onto the concourse by security.
Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong?
Sail away with me
To another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ha
From one lover to another, ah-ha
Gresh keeps hot sauce in his purse? Who does he think he is, Hillary Clinton?
Honk if you remember living in a world where Mr. Don LaFontaine did the movie trailer voiceovers.
Fun fact: Dolly Parton wrote the songs ‘Jolene’ and ‘I Will Always Love You’ on the same day. But do you know who she wrote that second song about? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.
Middlebrooks having to gently contradict Flemming about 500 times a night is great radio.
Steve Buckley spends the year between the Oldtime Baseball Games sniffing the game-worn flannel uniforms.
A Cameo pep talk from someone who randomly cries over nothing? Where do I send my money?
Patriots did Celtics fans a solid by bringing a new Jaylen to town.
“Cash Considerations” would kinda be a perfect name for a Brian Cashman podcast.
Looking forward to the Celtics-76ers joint practices.
Kenni dresses like Sally O’Malley.
I am ready to go full Mensa Matt when they just hand Story his job back..pal.
The one damn time all the 350+ lb guys at Barstool HQ could be put to good use and not one of them to be found.
Best bet for the weekend: The Storrowings before ‘Allston Christmas.’
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Michael NMI Hurley, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I hope life treats you kind.
The 15 