Do you like football? Of course you do or you wouldn’t be here. Do you like the color and pageantry of college athletics? We can see you rockin’ and reelin’, and hanging from the ceiling, so that’s a “yes”. And most importantly, do you like showtunes? *Squeals with delight!* Well Mr./Mrs./Ms./Dr. First Nighter do we have a fabulous quiz for you!
You know what would be fun?
Each of the four games in this weekend’s college football playoff involves at least one team associated with a Tony Award winning Broadway musical!
Can you name the show for each matchup? (click to reveal the answer)
Alabama at Oklahoma
“Oklahoma” (Duh!)
Miami at Texas A&M
“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”
Tulane at Ole Miss
“Show Boat”
James Madison at Oregon
“Hamilton”
Now these are musical cats!
Saturday Dinner Time Eagles (-6.5) at Commanders American Birds crush the Commies
Saturday Prowl Time Packers at Bears (-1.5) Northwest Indiana Bears grind the Meatmen
This is not in the holiday spirit
Sunday Lunch Time Buccaneers (-3) at Panthers Someone has to win this game, may as well be the Black Cats
Bills (-10.5) at Browns What can Brown do for you, Patriots fans? Nothing. Bills cruise
I’d prefer to a lump of coal
Chargers at Cowboys (-2.5) Fun fact: In Weeks 12 and 13, the Cowboys defeated the Eagles and Chiefs. In Weeks 14 and 15, the Chargers defeated the Eagles and Chiefs. That was the first time that two different teams defeated the previous season’s Super Bowl teams in consecutive weeks. Bolts shock Boys
Jets at Saints (-5.5) Saints cook Jets
Thanks to the cooking Saints at the Nashua Soup Kitchen!
Vikings (-3) at Giants Vikings sink tanking G-Men
Chiefs (-3) at Titans Tits motorboat Mahomes-less Chiefs
Ahoy, polloi!
Bengals (-4.5) at Dolphins Stripey cats win vs Quinn the Fin
Sunday Dinner Time Falcons (-3) at Cardinals Raptors raid pretty red birds nest
Jaguars at Broncos (-3) Spotty cats can’t handle the (atmospheric) pressure
Spotty cats prefer being at sea level
Steelers at Lions (-7) Jungle Kings can’t be caged by Steel Men
Raiders at Texans (-14.5) Texans toast Vegas
Sunday Prowl Time Patriots at Ravens (-3) Road warriors roll Ravens
Glad tidings to all the Drake-A-Maniacs!
Monday Prowl Time 49ers (-6) at Colts Purrrrdy pops Ponies
Meowy Christmas
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat is all rested up and is ready to again take on all comers!
How to play? Seriously? It’s Week 14. Okay, maybe some of you are playing for the first time. Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Stuff the stockings with Fluff
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Titans at Browns
Seahawks at Falcons
Colts at Jaguars
Commanders at Vikings
Bengals at Bills
Saints at Buccaneers
Steelers at Ravens
Dolphins at Jets
Broncos at Raiders
Rams at Cardinals
Bears at Packers
Texans at Chiefs
Eagles at Chargers (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your thing, post them on the Twitter and our jolly team of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Good luck and glad tidings to all our contestants!
Time to check in with everyone’s favorite nonagenarian sportswriter, none other than legendary boxing and gridiron correspondent for the old Boston Evening Gazette, Buzz “Lefty” McBride. Mr. McBride would like to share his take on the controversial hit New England Patriots’ linebacker Christian Eliss placed on New York Giants’ quarterback Jaxson Dart during the first quarter of Monday night’s football game.
Simpler times
Buzz “Lefty” McBride:“Looks to me like Eliss knocked Jaxson Dart onto Queer Street”
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Many thanks to “Lefty” for his thoughtful and enlightened commentary.
Sunday Lunch Time Titans at Browns (-4.5) Turds top Tits
Did someone say turd tit top?
Seahawks (-7) at Falcons Fake sea birds rule the roost
Colts (-1.5) at Jaguars Jags jettison Jones
Commanders at Vikings (-2.5) Feds raid Minnesota
Bengals at Bills (-5.5) Buffalo buries Burrow
Just a dusting
Saints at Buccaneers (-8.5) Bucs defrock the clergy
Steelers (-6) at Ravens Scary black birds love a game played in a dark place
I guess it’s not good luck
Dolphins (-2.5) at Jets New Yorkers feast on frozen fish
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos (-7.5) at Raiders YOU want the Raiders to win, but you can’t always get what you want
Bonus bet: Raiders cover
Rams (-8.5) at Cardinals Horney sheep trample pretty red birds
Bears at Packers(-6.5) The pack is back!
Sunday Prowl Time Texans at Chiefs(-3.5) Indoor cats can’t handle the chill of the open plains
Indoors is where it’s at
Monday Prowl Time Eagles (-2.5) at Chargers Patriotic birds zap Bolts
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Smart shoppers are avoiding the crowds by visiting the official the15net.com store to pick up their official the15net.com merchandise. It’s what all the cool people will be wearing to the office Christmas party. And who doesn’t want to be cool?
Q: Who could ever look cooler than these Fonzies
A: These two heartbreakers
Sunday Lunch Time Rams (-10) at Panthers Horny sheep skin black cats
49ers (-4.5) at Browns Prospectors fry Colonel Sanders
It takes a tough cat to make a tender bird
Texans at Colts (-4.5) Indianapolis Jones whips Houston
Saints at Dolphins (-5.5) Tua’s Dolphins dunk tanking Saints
He’s not called Coach Drip for nothing
Falcons (-2.5) at Jets Birds of Prey soar over sputtering Jets
Cardinals at Buccaneers (-2.5) Pretty Red Birds fly past Bucs
Jaguars (-6.5) at Titans Spotted cats top Tits
Did someone say “jaguar tit top”? EDITOR’S NOTE: These are leopard spots, not jaguar spots. We regret the error.
Sunday Dinner Time Vikings at Seahawks (-11.5) Sam Darnold haunts Vikings
Raiders at Chargers (-10) Bolts put out Vegas’ lights
You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in white
Bills (-3.5) at Steelers Buffalo wings Yinzers
Sunday Prowl Time Broncos (-6) at Commanders Rested Broncos bust Commies
Monday Prowl Time Giants at Patriots (-7.5) Pats head to the bye on a high
You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in blue
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.
Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale): Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”. 4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷
That will do pig
Thanksgiving early eaters time Packers at Lions (-2.5) Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads
Thanksgiving late eaters time Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys Squantos feast on the Pilgrims
Thanksgiving overeaters time Bengals at Ravens (-7) Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys
Black Friday Afternoon Nap time Bears at Eagles (-7) Birds bully Bears
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!
So. Happy. For. You. Ma’am.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Commanders at Dolphins
Panthers at Falcons
Buccaneers at Bills
Chargers at Jaguars
Bears at Vikings
Packers at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Texans at Titans
49ers at Cardinals
Seahawks at Rams
Ravens at Browns
Chiefs at Broncos
Lions at Eagles
Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!
and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!
Double TRADEMARK!
As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):
Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!
Sunday Desayuno Time Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5) ¡Los delfines ganan!
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers at Falcons (-3.5) Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win
Times are tough
Buccaneers at Bills (-6) Bills bully Baker
Chargers (-3) at Jaguars Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs
From the golden age of advertising
Bears at Vikings (-2.5) Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears
Packers (-7) at Giants There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.
High brow humor!
Bengals at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers flatten Flacco
Texans (-6) at Titans Tex squeezes Tits
Sunday Dinner Time 49ers (-3) at Cardinals Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds
He’s gaining on you red
Seahawks at Rams (-3) Horny sheep trample fake sea birds
Ravens (-7.5) at Browns Scary black birds flush the Browns
If it’s brown, flush it down
Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos Chiefs bust Broncos
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Eagles (-2.5) Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly
He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders Ranch hands rustle Raiders
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Hey stupid, there was another, even easier way to retire as a Patriot.
Poor Kacsmar. Maye won a game where he made “over” 26 pass attempts. That means six more weeks of not leaving the basement.
Might be time for JB to make the call to Dr. Leonard. Just sayin’,
Portnoy has a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a personal chef and he’s still sloppy.
Baseball needs more awards. There; I said it.
Bill’s dream job becoming available enough to pry him out of Chapel Hill, caller?
Boston is cornering the market on Marco/Marko’s. Think Marco Scutaro wants a job with the Sox staff?
Ketamine makes you act inauthentic sometimes.
For Curt Schilling, there’s nothing hotter than sending someone to the showers. What?
Antonio Brown’s perpetual motion fall from grace continues. Tom vouched.
Cakes are cooking foe Wallace Shawn, Al Michaels, Booker T. Jones, Neil Young, Valerie Leon, Buck Dharma, Pooch Tavares, Jack Reed, Paul McNamee, Megan Mullally, Greg Gagne, Nadia Comăneci, Naomi Wolf, Erik Howard, Michael Moorer, Sammy Sosa, Tonya Harding, Mayte Garcia, Radha Mitchell, Ashley Williams, Cote de Pablo, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway, Jason Day, and Russell Westbrook.
Nap Lajoie is the only Hall of Famer whose plaque includes the word “graceful.” Would loved to have seen him play.
Ending a bag of peanuts on a good peanut is an underrated great feeling.
Portnoy brought in Hogdale to look skinny by comparison.
Why didn’t Dondero pause for a longer amount of time before executing that completely spontaneous spit-take?
All the best football experts promote shady gaming apps.
Red Line Update: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier train with a door issue at Davis. Service is proceeding.
Imagine having a kid and wanting to tell Perrault and Carrabis.
Zolak talked all over the 4th down stop, which was good because then he was all tuckered out for the Henderson run.
How is it 2025 in America and most stores in the mall don’t stock 3XL T-shirts?
National Signing Day and it’s some retard in a shitty cafeteria choosing between Endicott and Fitchburg State hats.
Who needs Mac & Cheese on Thanksgiving?
I’m so glad Rich Eisen went back to ESPN, so we don’t have to listen to his terrible play-by-play.
Mike Lombardi’s hair looks like when a guy in a 70s sitcom had a hairpiece that would fall off and he’d frantically put it on backward.
Papaya Gaming?
Hey gang of grifting gals, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She has the shape of a DeNucci.”
If tinnitus is a disability I’m Stephen fucking Hawking.
RA slurs so much that the generated captions don’t match what he’s saying.
Team Bucko Kilroy here. For reasons.
Hey buddy, haven’t you heard there’s a penny shortage in this country?
Seven game winning streaks. So hot right now.
Too soon to call Flagg a GM killer?
C’mon UMass!
Honk if you remember Grönk Flakes.
This is obviously all a ploy for Mina Kimes to promote her Mahjong app.
He’s a perfect stranger Like a cross of himself and a fox He’s a feeling arranger And a changer of the ways he talk He’s the unforeseen danger The keeper of the key to the lock
Know when you see him Nothing can free him Step aside, open wide He’s the loner.
So I can’t see the Northern Lights, but my cell phone can? That doesn’t seem fair.
The Cleveland Guardians pitchers were a good start, but when are they going to arrest Troy Vincent?
Celtics lead the league in the strong effort in helpful losses category.
Bo Nix with eye black looks like Bill Romanowski.
The irredeemable slobs at 98.5 are upset they can’t treat their workplace like a college dorm kitchenette.
BC basketball lost to Directional Connecticut? Was Bill O’Brien in attendance?
Every fanbase hates their OC no matter what. It’s ridiculous.
I’m not saying we bullied Joe into giving Walsh playing time, but I’m not not saying it either.
Have we mentioned that Pasta is a Good Kid? Because he is.
Best bet for the weekend: visits to the meat counter to order the fresh turkeys.
Mmmm. You can really taste the beechwood sawdust aging.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Gas glove available inside.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Murph for beating Football Cat in Week 9! We will figure some way to get your prize to you.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Falcons at Colts
Saints at Panthers
Giants at Bears
Jaguars at Texans
Bills at Dolphins
Ravens at Vikings
Browns at Jets
Patriots at Buccaneers
Cardinals at Seahawks
Rams at 49ers
Lions at Commanders
Steelers at Chargers
Eagles at Packers (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our patriotic band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
The 15 