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(h/t @FetzerValves)
The 2021 Memorial Day Mixtape Playlist
(Dear The15net dot com Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is a musical playlist for your Memorial Day enjoyment. Click HERE to download. Songs to enjoy as you learn to socialize ouside again. Additional song suggestions are welcomed in the comments. )
part one
Squidneck Nights – Avenged Fifteenfold
Gettin’ It Back Together (Odin Lloyd mix) – MC WhaCx Beenz
Renumberin’ the Exits on Highway 61 (It’s all a Big Lie) – Ron Muskmelon Catamount
I Hate Myself and Want To Die – Gregvana
Everyone Has AIDS – Lease: The Musical Official Soundtrack Album
One Way Train – The Concussed McNultys
Vacation – The Gabs Gabs
Wear Your Mask Save the Olympics – Shigeyoshi Wholesome Entertainment and Vending Concern Water Spiders Song Group
Swallowed On A Drive (Love Ya, Dad) – The Gaspers
Love Theme to ‘Coptown’ – Tacoma Bernstein
MmmmmmmmMmmmmmmmmMmmmbop – Greg thee Dee.
Burners in the House – Talking Marvs
Total Eclipse of the Heart (club remix) – DJ Dukati and Combat Skill Level X
Be A Man – Macho Man Randy Savage
Glory (Hole) Days – Gary Tanguay and the D Lister Band
Blowin’ Russell In The Wind – Bob Ryan
Cupcake – Tulips For Salgernon
Hi Marv – Twentythree Pilots Avenged Seventeenfold
GaGa For Radio, We Will Block You—>We Are In Sports – Yasss Queen from (Here’s Some) Live AIDS
Masters of WAR – Freewheelin’ Chaim
The KKK Took My Loyko Away – The Dearly Bedarded
Fam First – Lumpy Bigs
Pour Some Sugar on Me Coffee, Tanya – Shannon Sharpe
Need Runs Tonight/Ameliorate – GSTR
part two
Meathead Rolodex – Sex Furniture
One – The Unathletic
Mask Off (Hunting for Bargains) – Turtle Boi feat. Colonel Callahan
Pod Like Nobody’s Watching – Iggy Bedard and Nicky the Hat
Epicycle – Luminiferous Ether
The Cliffy, Cliffy Shakes – The Shortstop Carousel
Make ’em say Ugh – The Silver Bullets
Gettin’ It Black (In Order) (Remix) -The Notorious TRF
Fut – Fat Finger Override
He Was Just Turning His Life Around – Jonathan White & The Cargo Shorts
Football Genius (Twitchy Mind) – Lil Scouty
Cocaine Woos! – Scotty Zolak
Good Friends Neighbors Mom – Auhrey Duff
America is Dying Slowly – Wu-Tang Clan featuring the 15
Hot Takes! – James Stewart
Welcome to the Playground – The Tanguay Home
Dartchesta, Mass (Stabbin’ Kill Da Booty Mix) – Dork Adam$
Visualization Of The Space Mind Gargamel Part XVII: Millenial Solipsism – Dero Spedes
You Light Up My Life, Felger – Cam’ron in Taun’ton
Funny (That’s What I Want) – Girlz In Sportz
Richie and the Gresh – Elton and the Cellar Dwellers
They’re Always A Woman – Britni Joel
Bounce Pass – Hatrack McGoo
(Do the) Dugie Swag – Dragging Dondero
part three
Racism is Bad (You Round Eyed Devil) – BTS
A.T.R.O.M.G.O. (Auto Tuned Recitation Of Material Goods Owned) – MC Deejay with DJ EmmCee
Hey Bud – Kent Jackson and the Burners
(She’s got) Sneaky Tits – Big Head Maud and the Tomsters
Rock the Sports Hub – The Wobie Wobie Blahos
I kissed a boy – BJ Peen
Deeds After 9 – Luxury Vinyl Planks
Mongo Mindbullets – The Dead Wilburys Avenged Twentyninefold
Raining Blood – Meathead Slayer
The Joker – The Meghan Ottolini Band
Dazed and Confused (that you aren’t Blaho) – Sal thee Utitorian
Holiday in California – Stids-Kennedys
B$P Workout Factory – Gonna Make You Sweat (Auxiliary Stairwell Climb Mix)
Hey Marv – Mitch Hedberg’s The Wall
Abusive Yucky Man – The John Karalis Experience
Never Dondero – The Smacking Lips
I Want Your AIDS – The 15
Tom E. Please Lose My Number – Jonesy Dad
Running Joke – Avenged Thirtysixfold, but then Ninefold Vengance Subtracted
Red Red Australian Wine – SP40
All Items Pertaining To Thee – Ugly Kid Gas
Shiny Orange People – SARAH
Squidneck Nights (11 seconds longer version) – Avenged Fifteenfold
05/26/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
Why is the headline yelling when formatted for desktop view? WordPress!
Tooker needs tah stand on his head and steal us a 1-0 game!
Write more Spygate articles.
The Red Sox are now a half game behing the go-go Tampa Bay Rays? Wait, what?
Happy for Lefty.
Chris Gasper is not a real person. He’s a walking aggregation of old school takes.
I can’t believe a Kirk relationship ended in this way.
Stupid no-heart having Celtics missing their second-best player and with a nominal bench can’t keep up on the road against a higher-seeded hand-picked SuperTeam. I HATE them!
Use more hyphens.
Cakes are cooking for Hank Williams Jr, Philip Michael Thomas, Masaharu Morimoto, Helena Bonham Carter, and Rachael Sporn.
Where were you for the Great SZN Twitter Schism of 2021?
Nick Wright is a poor man’s Rob Parker. And both are trying to be Max Kellerman. Just a trifecta of gross.
That lobster HATES that basketball.
What other sports writer girls do you follow?
I have forty unimpeachable anonymous sources that tell me that the only way Don Van Natta, Jr and Seth Wickersham can maintan an erection is to write a hatchet piece about the Patriots.
Orange Line: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to a signal problem at Oak Grove. Trains may be asked to stand by at stations.
No one took a picture like Chi Modu.
Keeping your Energy Star Rating yellow tag on your television is the new leaving your sizing sticker on your flat-brim baseball cap.
That. That is why no one likes you, Kyrie.
Hey babe, this week’s Phrase the Pays is “Tom Brady just dominating the social media game!”
Is it just me, or is every TV commercial terrible?
Baseball needs an unwritten rule about home run laundry cart celebration etiquette when trailing. Obvi.
You could be my silver springs
Blue-green colors flashin’
I would be your only dream
Your shining autumn, ocean crashing
And did you say she was pretty?
And did you say that she loves you?
Baby, I don’t wanna know.
Is Brady skipping Patriots OTAs again?
I’m counting on a thunderstorm to wash all the pollen off my car. Cmon!
Sagamore Beach is the poor man’s Cape Cod.
The #Jets have hired former #Dolphins DC Matt Burke for a game-management role, source says. Burke, who most recently served as #Eagles run game coordinator and DL coach, brings 15 NFL seasons’ experience as a defensive coach but will help on both sides of the ball.
Honk if you remember buying a pair of Keds at Thom McAn.
Have you tried to navigate all the various apps you have to download to attend a major league game this year? They would have saved time by just making a rule that old people are not allowed to attend a game unless accompanied by someone under 40.
Don’t look now, but the CT Sun are off to an undefeated start at the top of the WNBA standings.
It’s worth noting that Arlen Specter, bless his heart, was a demonstrably terrible person.
Like Jack Hynes always said; ‘Follow the money.’
Take a less flattering photo of America’s most beloved ballpark. You can’t!
Best bet for the long weekend: traffic tieups on Route 3.
material from interviews, wire services, Facebook, Substack, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW, @ThatJohnIrons and #the15, were used in this column. Do not point at face. Use only as directed.
05/19/2021 VIGILANTLY CLEANING OUT THE SPORTS JUNK DRAWER PHASE IV, STEP 2 For Certain Industries
The Red Sox, they do a lot better when they score first.
Greg Dickerson only following 56 people on Twitter is legitimately nuts.
Stidhsy has been saying in a loud stage whisper that Tyrod Taylor or Ryan Finley aren’t the short-term solution for the Texans.
Sure, trading Mookie Betts was less than ideal. But John Henry’s biggest personnel sin? Not retaining Heidi Watney. Unforgivable.
Why can’t Tom Wilson bodycheck Evan Lazar?
“I hope you all enjoy life, except that cvnt Abby Chin who took my job.” – Dickerson, most likely.
Vasco has some great unis, storied franchise founded as a rowing club in Rio by Portuguese immigrants.
An Ice Cream truck just went by. Symbol of a bygone time, Danny.
Cakes are cooking for Rick Cerone, John Friesz, Turk Wendell, London Fletcher, and Kevin Garnett.
The old barn is gonna be rocking tonight, eh Brick?
Forget ‘Friends’, what we all want is a “Mustard & Johnson” reunion special.
Hi Kent. Have you been touching yourself?
Detroit’s Spencer Turnbull just no-hit Seattle. Fifth nine-inning no-hitter in MLB this year. The record in the Modern Era is seven in one season. Second time the Mariners have been no-hit this season. It’s May 18, and they are hitting .199 as a team. That is a real statistic.
Buy more fireworks why don’t you?
That La Russa thing reminds me of Grady against the Marlins.
News Item: Pasta is a good kid.
Turtleboy shopping at Marshall’s is terrific.
Matty? He’ll be back. Just you see.
How long was Bert Breer at the Dallas Morning News and however long that was why does he think that made him a honorary member of the Cowboys organization?
Hey golden boy gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Belichick Binkies.”
Mile 22 on the Maine Turnpike is Cat Mousam Road, en route to Portland.
Please excuse my ignorance but what is a cishet man?
Honk if you remember Reddy Kilowatt.
A lot of people think Connecticut is part of new England.
Who is Rio Gomez?
TV dinners, I’m feelin’ kinda rough
TV dinners, this one’s kinda tough
I like the enchiladas, and the teriyaki too
I even like the chicken, if the sauce is not too blue.
And they’re mine, all mine,
Oh, yeah!
Red Line Braintree Branch Update: Trains are returning to regularly scheduled service.
Demi’s new pronouns aren’t ‘Dese, Dem, and Dose?’
Chuck Grodin. OOTG’s. Rest in Peace.
The #Lions and OT Penei Sewell have agreed to terms on his 4-year, $24.1M fully guaranteed contract. He gets a $14.88M signing bonus.
Surf’s up!
Best bet for the weekend: a straight trouncing of the Red Bulls by the Revolution.
Standard disclaimers apply.
Coming to a theater near you
The first summer blockbuster from Plenipotentiary Productions. Cry.
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Sophistry – organoleptically perceive it!
(h/t @FetzerValves)
98.5 The Sportz Klan Takes Off The Sheet (Again)
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into your bunkers and shield yourselves from the takez of pasty, old white men on sports radio, think again. This certainly has been a banner week for WBZ-FM, from their furthering of the non-allegation allegations about Christian Barmore propagated by Greg “I Can Only Fit One Sheet” Bedard, to this insane insinuation.
Jaylen Brown, a gigantic part of the Celtics team will miss the rest of the season due to a torn ligament on his wrist. Apparently that means he quits. But, dear reader, this is nary the first time the Two Dopes and The Tattooed Eunich have dug their heels in about Brown, or as they would call him, The Player. Here are some receipts.
Of course as far as Felger is concerned, Brown’s humanity means nothing to him, he’s just an entity for his 4 hour bitch fest. “Shut Up and Dribble” as the kids say. And the world is officially doomed if I am in agreement with Kid Gaslighter himself, Chris Gasper.
The out and out hate even goes back to when Brown began his career.
So back to the latest headline of Brown “quitting”. Of course they have done similar things, namely to Tuukka Rask last year. We are not sure who wrote that headline, but if it is actually correct, it is one of the most egregiously inaccurate statements ever out out by a sports radio station. And it has been treated as such, due to the epic ratio you see above. 237 QTs to only 12 measly likes. And most of the QTs are absolutely shredding the Three Dumb Men.
However as good as this is, there is still the sobering reminder that this is the #1 show in the market. This is the same station that employs a guy who made fun of the death of Roy Halladay, who crashed a plane.
This is the same station who employs two people who hangs up on listeners without fail who want to dedicate World Series championships to their grandparents.
This is the same station who employs a balding, tattooed small man who wears sunglasses indoors who wishes listeners’ kids dead.
How much longer will it be allowed for these people to be the representative of the Boston Sports fan? And, more importantly, how much longer will the local sports teams allow their players to have their characters assassinated on a daily basis on their “flagship station”? When will enough people realize that the goal of this show and That Station is not to entertain you or inform you, but to troll you and make you angry and give you a visceral reaction?
As we say on Entitled Town, Turn Off Your Radios. And turn your channels off of NBC Sports Boston. I would say this market deserves better, but if other media outlets are downsizing and restructuring due to “reasons”, and these guys are still employed, it doesn’t bode well. But, they do hear you. So Keep Pounding.
05/12/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
More days in first place.
If you’ve ever suffered a torn scapholunate ligament, let us know in the comments.
Chuck Finley can finally relax.
One more thing, Dale loves his mom more than you.
Where are the UDFA’s?
You can’t send your squad out on to the pitch with a false nine! Cor! Blimey!
I noticed in collegiate wrestling no one ever uses the Polish Hammer.
Cakes are cooking for Stacy Wilson, Tony Hawk, Jim Furyk, Steve Smith and Emily VanCamp.
Belichick talks to Baffort, Baffort horse gets busted for doping. Hmmm.
Don’t open your college commitment announcement like you’re getting divorced, ahkay?
Blehhhh! Play in game! Blehhhh!!
Gosh darn it Aiden, you should have reached out. People would have helped you.
That Chinese rocket could have really gotten people mad at the Orientals.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Take it easy, AIDS feet.’
Bottom line: Warren Sapp is an asshole. Always was, always will be.
It’s a very difficult decision to choose between UMass Dartmouth and Johnson & Wales. Like deciding between Texas and Georgia.
Tim Tebow is In Sport.
Bill Barnwell seems like someone who takes sex vacations in the Far East.
Why exactly is doping a race horse a bad thing?
Best Roast Beef in the Commonweath? Not North Shore, not South Shore. Merrimack Valley.
News Item: Leonardo DiCaprio unrecognizable in first photos of new Scorsese film.
DK Metcalf came in last, fact; not opinion.
Purple is great. They also give you the option to pay it off with Affirm so you don’t have to drop four digits.
She got whatever it is, it blows me away
She’s everything I want to say to a woman
But I couldn’t find the words to say
She got whatever it is.
The Taylor Swift Education Center opened today in Nashville. That is beyond awesome. Such a power move! @taylorswift13 is my girl!
Honk if you remember Skylab.
I can’t remember it being this consistently windy! Probably the Russians.
Woo Sox! Woo!
The Washington Football has its left tackle: The WFT is signing former #Bears LT Charles Leno to a 1-year deal worth $5M, per @SlavinRon.
Bedard is in the same shape as Babe Ruth in his Boston Braves days. See, it all comes back to baseball.
Lynnette can now drink all the passion fruit iced tea she wants.
Thank you, warrior98, whoever you are.
Best bet for the weekend: cheapies from the Capitals.
material from interviews, wire services, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW user Hascksaw, and #the15, were used in this column. May cause drowsiness.
Recurring Comic Feature and Memes
Midnight madness sale!
In an effort to reach a larger scope of sports fans with diverse political viewpoints, The 15 Net has decided to debut a new spin on an old classic.
And if white nationalism isn’t your thing, the originals are back in all their glory for a limited time.
The 15 