The Sorry Sixteen – 2026 Mediot Madness Tournament
You read the preview, now cast your vote! Polls to remain open until 8:00 PM EDT.
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Sorry Sixteen Preview – March Sadness 2026
Welcome to Round 3 of March Sadness 2026, when the true pieces of shit separate themselves from the turds.
If you were expecting a “Sour Sixteen” preview, then we have one word for you… SORRRRRREY! It’s now the “Sorry Sixteen” © ℠ ® ™ Patent Pending. And a very sorry preview it is…
Region C
1 Greg Bedard vs 5 Dan Shaughnessy
It took overtime for Shank to sneak into the Sour Sorry Sixteen by the skin of his McTeeth. Look for Bedard to kick his balls up around his head.
2 Fred Toucher vs 3 Adam Jones
Fred Toucher spent a lot of time last week defending himself against accusation of racism. You know who doesn’t spend a lot of time defending themselves against accusations of racism? Non-racists. He doth protest too much advances.
Region V
1 Jim Murray vs 12 Chris Curtis
Advancing to the Sour Sixteen may be the second most shocking thing Curtis has ever done, but Large Gymnasium wins the battle of the bald middle aged dimwitted overconfident flash boys.
2 Marc Bertrand vs 3 Andy Hart
The Far Side kid burns lil’ Andy with his magnifying glass
Region N
1 Gabrielle Starr vs 4 Kevin F Paul Dupont
The woman in sports snips KPD’s sports manhood
2 James Stewart vs 3 Michael Felger
Jimmy Stewart gives Felger the Lavanchy treatment.
Region T
1 Ted Johnson vs 5 Scott Zolak
We will finally get an answer to a question that has been confounding medical experts for decades: Which causes more long term cognitive issues, head trauma or substance abuse? We’ve got good news, you can keep doing drugs kids, CTEd snowplows Zo.
2 Chris Gasper vs 3 Albert Breer
Breer sends Kid Gas to the golden showers.
Vote early and often!
Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks ’25
News item: ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.
We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?
And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).
Thank you for you attention to this matter.
Sunday Frühstück Time
Falcons at Colts (-6.5)
Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos
Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Panthers (-5.5)
Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints
Giants at Bears (-4.5)
Bears send G-men into hibernation
Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans
Spotted cats have a problem in Houston
Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins
Buffalo grills Dolphins
Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings
Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead
Browns (-1.5) at Jets
Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027
Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!
Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds
Rams (-3) at 49ers
Horny sheep menace Mac
Lions (-7.5) at Commanders
Lions tame Swamp Things
Sunday Prowl Time
Steelers at Chargers (-3)
Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage
Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Packers (-2.5)
American Birds snap up Meat Men
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Grok’s The15 Mini-Tourney Preview
We interviewed everybody’s favorite new oracle of wisdom, Grok, and asked it who it thinks will come out on top (bottom?).
Grok seems to be simping for Ms. Starr, or maybe Mazz once accused Grok of stealing Felger’s car, but it’s not up to him/her/it! YOU still have free will (at least for the time being). So make your voice heard while you can. Get out and VOTE!
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
Mini-Tourney Round 3 Preview
Just as the local nine begin their annual cool down, the remaining 8 tournament contests start heating up! #synergy
Region B
3 Rob Bradford vs 4 Steve Perrault
Just a couple of massively annoying 50 something year old guys with a penchant for wrinkled haberdashery. Bradford wins the smirkoff.
Region V
1 Gabby Starr vs * Lou Merloni
First there was a tie:
Then there was still a tie:
When a tie – or a strike – needs to be broken there’s only one man to call. Lou DAMN Merloni!
Lou has an unfortunate history of falling for women on poles, but today he will fall to a woman in a poll.
Region N
1 Jared Carrabis vs 2 Tony Masserotti
When Matt McCarthy drags his balls across your face it may be time to reevaluate things.
But it should also guarantee you a Regional N victory. Carrabis will tattoo Mazz in this lightweight match up.
Region T
1 Pete Abraham vs 3 Mike McCarthy
The Hobbit devours McTeethy for his second breakfast.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
Mini-Tourney Round 2 Preview
Welcome to the first ever Summertime Sour Sixteen! If you like new media and Red Sox broadcasters, or more importantly if you don’t like new media and Red Sox broadcasters, then this is the competition for you! We’ve got six podcasters, seven current or former members of Red Sox radio/TV broadcasts, two crusty old newspaper men and one weepy grifter. (Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)
Region B
1 Dave O’Brien vs 4 Steve Perrault
O’Brien wasn’t bad on radio play-by-play. However, he is so bad on TV that he actually makes people long for the days of Don Orsillo. Now that’s bad. Perrault is just one of the Carrabis’s many forgettable goofball sidekicks. O’Brien walks it off.
2 Chad Finn vs 3 Rob Bradford
Hairy vag faced Bradfo will smother Wax Pack Chad under a pile of wrinkled t-shirts.
Region V (aka The Section 10 free region)
1 Gabby Starr vs 4 Justin MLB
Here’s a tip for any of you looking to participate in next year’s Mini-Tourney. Put “MLB” in your twitter handle, it will set you apart from your average run of the mill baseball fans named Justin. Gabz won’t even need to come back from one of her many in-season vacations to dispatch Mr. Gonzalez.
2 Tom Caron vs 6 Hogdale
The Hogriders came out in force and pushed their hero into Round 2. They may have misunderstood the assignment though. How could anyone not appreciate the passion that Grant Huckvale brings to the role of “Hogdale”? It’s always a tour de force performance. Grant is matched up with milquetoast Tom Caron. No matter how many hair plugs Caron gets, it will never be enough to mask his Megamind Forehead. Dr. Tom Leonard’s least successful client moves on.
Region N
1 Jared Carrabis vs 4 Coley Mick
Jared Carrabis is a better more knowledgeable fan than YOU. Sorry, just deal with it losers. “Coley Mick” is a lace curtain Irish dunce. “Car Rubbish”® will mash that bloated spud in the Section 10 showdown.
2 Tony Massarotti vs 3 Will Fleming
It seems unfair to have the March Sadness runner up in the Midsummer Mini-Tourney, but that’s baseball. Maybe if Will Fleming starts speaking Spanish, Tony will run away and hide. Unfortunately the only Spanish Mazz will hear from Fleming is “No Más“.
Region T
1 Pete Abraham vs 4 Tyler Milikin
This match up should be introduced by Dale Dorman as part of the Creature Double Feature. Sentient garden gnome (Abraham) takes on an obese two legged centaur (Milikin). The winner may depend on what country you live in.
2 Tyler Broadman vs 3 Mike McCarthy
Is Mike McCarthy the pudgy bearded millennial doofus who figured out you can lose weight by eating salads, or is he the pudgy bearded millennial doofus with horrible teeth, or is he the pudgy bearded millennial doofus who couldn’t successfully book flights for his honeymoon or is he McBone? It’s hard to keep track of all these wacky call screeners.
Tyler Broadman may turn out to be a decent play-by-play man once he completes puberty, but his fake radio voice and Connecticut School of Broadcasting cadence make me want to ram my score keeping pencil in my ears. This a tough one, but McCarthy squeezes by.
Mini-Tourney Round One Day Two!
Now comes the battle of the right-hand side of the bracket.
Polls will remain open until midnight EDT. Unless things go into extras!
Mini-Tourney Round One Day One!
Regions B and N go at it today. Polls will close…later. There’s no clock: it’s like baseball!
01/15/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
The zippered vest is to Mike Vrabel as the hoodie is to Bill Belichick.
For all the shitty things Kraft has done, the media turning on him for the Rooney Rule is like the Feds getting Al Capone on tax evasion.
It’s nice to see WEEI take advantage of Ted’s work release program.
Vrabel is very well-spoken for a Macedonian.
Man, I don’t know what to think about that vulgar Philly fan getting cancelled. Wait; yes I do.
I have written and deleted 500 tweets in an attempt to comment on this. I think Big Cat is a tremendous talent. I’m just not sure who he really is now, which I think is understandable for anyone.
Derrick Henry was good at football even when he was in high school.
Laura Rutledge has really impressive command of CFB and NFL, it’s not easy to have that for two leagues with all the moving parts.
Being a sports radio cvnt is the only profession where you can baselessly lie about other people, face no consequences and then take a victory lap when the people you lied about call you on your bullshit.
Ryan Day has done the impossible – make America support Notre Dame.
Trent Frederic just killed a guy.
Christian Arcand has been in more time slots than Ted Danson.
Cakes are cooking for Andrea Martin, Howard Twitty, Charo, Bob Clearmountain, Randy White, Mario Van Peebles, Bernard Hopkins, Lisa Lisa (Velez), Adam Burt, Delino DeShields, Regina King, Mike Minter, Mary Pierce, Eddie Cahill, Drew Brees, Howie Day, Pitbull, Pete McNulty, Skrillex, Brennan Bernadino, and Triston Cassas.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Ok. I make a variety of baked goods so there is something for everybody.”
People gotta stop calling it a doink. Clearly more of a reverberating thud sound.
No straight guy has ever said “wifey material.”
For pity’s sake Thornton, try to show a tiny bit of self-respect.
A great thing about the Big 12’s massive re-alignment is that we have rotated in a whole bunch of new broadcasters. Old ones were kind of wearing thin.
Orange Line Reminder: Beginning at 8:30 PM Friday, January 17, through end of service Monday, January 20 (Martin Luther King, Jr. Day). Shuttle Buses replace service between North Station and Oak Grove due to MassDOT bridge work.
What a weird coincidence that somebody named Vanya Sax is so good at playing the saxophone. Reminds me of Trombone Shorty. I guess some things were just meant to be.
Gotta say, I love Mike Evans. Complete professional. What a player.
The Lowell Lock Monsters deserved a longer run. Also, can we get a garage sale going at LeLacheur?!? I know they’ve got some extra Spinners hats over there somewhere.
I look at her and she looks at me.
In her eyes I see the sea.
I don’t see what she sees in a man like me
She says she loves me.
Her eyes.
Yeah, her eyes.
Her eyes are a blue million miles.
Far as I can see.
She loves me.
Her eyes.
Her eyes.
Yeah, her eyes are a blue million miles.
It’s cold but not record cold. The weather types are never happy with a .300 hitter, they want everyone to be .396 30 HR 120 RBI.
Ted beat the competition for the job and his wife.
How old is Blackburn? Probably early 30s? I can even imagine “adopting” a sports team nowhere near where I live that I have no association with in my late 20s. Only thing he should be adopting is a Chinese baby.
Uppy thinks Breer and Bedard are Patriots insiders. Sad.
Arcand has filled more shifts than Gordie Howe.
Honk if you remember Hana Mandlíková breaking Martina Navratilova’s 54 match winning streak.
‘Modern Family’ really is a top five show ever made, man.
BSO has nothing to do with sports outside of “(Famous athlete’s) baby mama done seen messing around with Lil’ Chingo’s weavemaker in Ben’s Chili Bowl.”
The only reason Wolfe is staying is because he’s accepting of the Krafts dark financial secrets and they are criminally cheap.
UMiami has a black kid named Schwartz.
I’ll have an occasional vodka drink, maybe some wine. But mostly Cumberland Farm drugs for me.
Going to Aldi is like visiting that parallel dimension from ‘Fringe’, or the Mentos ads.
Mayo can’t even keep his wife in line and there’s some who wanted him to lead a football team? IJATQ.
Fun Fact: “Ben” in Chinese means “stupid.”
What is shameful about Newton?
Red Sox have acquired catcher Blake Sabol from the San Francisco Baseball Giants.
Fumbling your one shot at the #1 pick, let alone while knowing the alternative was #4 by letting the guy you were going to fire coach the game is so pathetic.
Nothing says classic Big East like two shit ass midwestern colleges in a barn burner, amirite?
Ted Johnson probably has dozens of thoughts of the state of the Red Sox!
Best bet for the weekend: Lamar Jackson looking miserably cold.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. This was my MJ flu game.
Beasley Media/98.5 Massarotti Apology Template
**CONFIDENTIAL**
From: 98.5 The SportsHub Human Resources
To: All Employees
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
It’s time for our biannual reminder when a member of the SportsHub on-air staff allows their unconventional/non-traditional core beliefs to be spread over FCC-governed airwaves which is then picked up by national and international media (not including members of the Boston Media under the “BSIC Back Slapping Incestuous Cesspool Accord of 2007”). This protocol will NOT be enacted when media outside New England fails to pick up an potential issue similar to midday host Marc “Beetle” Bertrand recently suggesting Bill Belichick is an anti-Semite, but with multiple outlets outside our governance involved, in this instance we are forced to deploy “Massarotti Protocol”.
Steps:
1: Modify (The Lazar Method): Edit and/or delete audio from website archives.
2: Gaslight and Obfuscate (The GOrdway Method): Have the offending on-air personality read from the following template:
The Tony Massarotti Apology Template
(NOTE: Please attempt to show empathy and remorse vocally) *citation needed
I did want to address this, because during yesterday’s show, while we were discussing (sports/players/teams/games), I made an off-color reference to (insert differing race/color/creed/sexual preference from 985 hosts) and how I didn’t (believe in them/have confidence in them/thought they SUCKED). And in doing so, I used a derogatory term that was (unbeknownst/repugnant/acceptable) to me.
I have since come to the realization that historically, there is some derogatory context for that (term/phrasing/manifesto), which I assure you I did not (know my mic was on/think about/understand). Nonetheless, in so doing, if you are among those who I offended, I apologize for that. It was not my intent. (Be sure not to apologize for the act itself.) I can sure assure you that I had no idea that the word had that meaning. As such, I won’t use it again. You’ll never hear me use it again on the air or off (that you’ll ever hear about). There was no intent behind it is all I can tell you. And I apologize again to those who are offended.
There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn’t be fair. Not to the good workers I work with, not to my listeners, and especially not to me. Let’s not forget who this whole resigning business is about, anyway. If I could leave you with one thought, remember… it wasn’t me. They’re trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to God, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word.
You have one day.
**TO BE RE-RELEASED IN SIX MONTHS**
The 15 