Man. Quoting Cam Newton in Ebonics is a rough look.
I’m no computer nerd, but the best way to avoid B*arstool tweets probably isn’t throwing a banana cream pie at their clown car.
Mazzulla is always visibly fuming when Drew Carter does the pre-game interview.
Kirk is taking Mut not knowing what a sitcom is really hard.
I wonder if Dianna Russini has thoughts about the Olivia Nuzzi revelations.
Being able to move on from your playing days is a skill.
I was just thinking, is Barstool ready for what they’ve started? No one messes with Hardy and Sarge’s crew and gets away it.
Coed adult cheerleading team?
Red Sox now have a new catcher, but only one bullpen lefty. Concerning.
Cakes are cooking for Ted Turner, Eddie Raynor, Calvin Klein, Dennis Hull, Bob Boone, Ahmad Rashad, Robert Beltran, Kathleen Quinlan, Ann Curry, Charlie Kaufman, Michael Wilbon, Alison Janney, Grant Ledyard, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Terry Farrell, Paul Weitz, Gail Devers, Rocco DiSpirito, Gary Disarcina, Justin Chancellor, Jeremy McGrath, Savion Glover, Jack Dorsey, Kerri Strug, Ryan Howard, Adam Driver, and Patrick Kane.
Little known fact: The viceroy and roy aren’t constitutionally allowed to fly on the same airplane.
I had a Pop-Tart and feel disgusting.
Never in NFL history has a backup QB come into a game and used it as the launchpad for a successful career.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Editorial discretion.”
Meanwhile, the phrase that never pays to say is and remains, “May I meet you?”
The NFL is better when the Jaguars are good.
Stan Musial: 1815 home hits. I815 road hits. As the Ol’ Perfessor would say, “You can look it up.”
One might say Kenni’s about to grow into an allergy… of getting owned.
Aaron Glenn looks like the leader of a slave rebellion.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Surely this Kendra humiliation will cut through all the squids telling her how great she is.
“Blue-collar chip on shoulder guy” is a top 5 annoying personality type.
Robert appearing to be half a head taller than Gronk thanks to his booster seat is ridiculous.
Kirk Herbstreit’s job at this point is just humoring doddering old men while they prattle on about bullshit from 30 years ago. “Oh, really, Hartford? Wow, crazy.”
If Gresh blocked at URI like he does on Twitter he would’ve been drafted.
Does Pete Carroll have a legacy and is it in flames?
John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio at Survivor Series would absolutely slap.
YOU were in a rock fight with the Jets, caller!
Normally you had to pay admission to one of Portnoy’s old Barstool foam parties to get that level of abused.
Have any of the radio stations gone to all-Thanksgiving music yet?
Honk if you remember Briff.
Rewatching the Patriots game and it brought up a random thought. I really miss the bond you get from being on a team. I miss that team camaraderie. Nothing like it. Anyone else miss it? Let us know in the comments.
Now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness In order to shield my pride, I’ve tried to cover this hurt with a show of gladness But don’t let my show convince you That I’ve been happy since you decided to go (why did you go?) Oh, I need you so (I need you so) I’m hurt and I want you to know (want you to know) But for others I put on a show (it’s just a show)
Ooh ah, there’s some sad things known to man But there ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown When there’s no one around, oh yeah
Mais non, cher, from what I see, Gresh lost over 100 pounds back in 2019 wit’ a program, not Ozempic. No sign he usin’ dat stuff. Callin’ him a slob? Dat’s subjective, me, but he a sharp sports guy. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
You had me at “ok face.”
Imagine thinking having 5 active jobs on the ol’ LinkedIn looks good.
When did YAC yards become RAC yards?
You know a guy is dirty when Mark Schelreth says, “this guy isn’t dirty.”
BYU and UNC will have an epic Holiday Bowl in 2027.
Next thing you know we’re going to find out she doesn’t really work 65 hours a week.
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Johnny Beecher.
Best bet for the weekend: Bill the GM’s former players playing well on other NFL squads.
THE GARDEN was built for the brawlers, the bombers, THE ABSOLUTE SHOT-CALLERS! Beantown demands the PROS, baby, not some doe-eyed amateurs still figuring out which end of the rink is up! We shelled out our hard-earned cash to watch the GODS: Russell blockin’ shots into the Charles, Orr flyin’ end-to-end like a jet, Bird drainin’ ‘em with the silky smooth, Espo snipin’ top shelf where Mama hides the cookies! These are the GIANTS who strode among us mere mortals! So take that college kiddie carnival back down to Storrs, Geno!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Wash before wearing.
And happy birthday to Ukrainian-Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!
So. Happy. For. You. Ma’am.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Commanders at Dolphins
Panthers at Falcons
Buccaneers at Bills
Chargers at Jaguars
Bears at Vikings
Packers at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Texans at Titans
49ers at Cardinals
Seahawks at Rams
Ravens at Browns
Chiefs at Broncos
Lions at Eagles
Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!
and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!
Double TRADEMARK!
As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):
Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!
Sunday Desayuno Time Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5) ¡Los delfines ganan!
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers at Falcons (-3.5) Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win
Times are tough
Buccaneers at Bills (-6) Bills bully Baker
Chargers (-3) at Jaguars Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs
From the golden age of advertising
Bears at Vikings (-2.5) Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears
Packers (-7) at Giants There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.
High brow humor!
Bengals at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers flatten Flacco
Texans (-6) at Titans Tex squeezes Tits
Sunday Dinner Time 49ers (-3) at Cardinals Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds
He’s gaining on you red
Seahawks at Rams (-3) Horny sheep trample fake sea birds
Ravens (-7.5) at Browns Scary black birds flush the Browns
If it’s brown, flush it down
Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos Chiefs bust Broncos
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Eagles (-2.5) Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly
He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders Ranch hands rustle Raiders
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Murph for beating Football Cat in Week 9! We will figure some way to get your prize to you.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Falcons at Colts
Saints at Panthers
Giants at Bears
Jaguars at Texans
Bills at Dolphins
Ravens at Vikings
Browns at Jets
Patriots at Buccaneers
Cardinals at Seahawks
Rams at 49ers
Lions at Commanders
Steelers at Chargers
Eagles at Packers (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our patriotic band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
News item:ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.
We’re all in!
We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?
And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).
Thank you for you attention to this matter.
Sunday Frühstück Time Falcons at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos
Sunday Lunch Time Saints at Panthers (-5.5) Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints
Giants at Bears (-4.5) Bears send G-men into hibernation
Seems like a bad idea
Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans Spotted cats have a problem in Houston
Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins Buffalo grills Dolphins
Not this time Flipper
Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead
Browns (-1.5) at Jets Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027
Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5) It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!
This will never make any sense
Sunday Dinner Time Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5) Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds
Rams (-3) at 49ers Horny sheep menace Mac
Lions (-7.5) at Commanders Lions tame Swamp Things
No shirt, no shoes, all action!
Sunday Prowl Time Steelers at Chargers (-3) Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage
Monday Prowl Time Eagles at Packers (-2.5) American Birds snap up Meat Men
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Be more needy for attention, Robert. You can’t! And are those Cardi’s sisters, Hennessy and Thunderbird?
Blue Jays got Maple Leaf’d. You hate to see it. I am gutted for Don Mattingly.
Miami GM gets axed, but McDaniel doesn’t? The headline could have been, ‘Dolphins fire 1-and-a-half black men.’
The Bruins Russian contingent is playing like the alternative is being shipped out to the Donetsk salient.
If you forced detainees at Guantanamo Bay to watch “Wake Up Barstool,” it would be considered a grave breach of the Geneva Conventions.
Socci is not good at play by play, but he has no chance with Zolak’s Tourette’s.
Anybody know the best way to directly and immediately pay for some groceries for people who need them right now? Was going to just post a tweet asking if I could Venmo whoever needs it but I don’t want to have to make people publicly respond.
Chaisson needs the Henderson skinny letter nameplate for his jersey. IMO.
Jordan Walsh is the only Celtics player not getting into these games. Is it because he scares people?
Cakes are cooking for Elke Sommer, Art Garfunkel, Pablo Gomez, Debbie Massey, Alvin Gentry, Kris Jenner, Jeff Watson, David Moyse, Michael “Mike” Score, Robert Patrick, Bryan Adams, Ken Coomer, Tilda Swinton, Brian Wheat, Tatum O’Neal, Judy Reyes, Bob Dahl, Sam Rockwell, Jennifer Guthrie, Javy López, Corin Nemec, Dana Jacobson, Jonny Greenwood, Rob Jones, Alexei Yashin, Johnny Damon, Rupert Grant, Jerry Stackhouse, Ryan Adams, Bubba Watson Jr., Nick Folk, Kevin Jonas, and Odell Beckham Jr.
Florida National vs Florida International feels like it should be a bigger rivalry.
So, given the heartbreak of 2023 and all the chances left on the table of we’ll never know… how in the Phil Esposito-autographed, put-the-biscuit-in-the-basket world did Pavel Zacha not shoot the puck wide open in the slot late in the second period of a scoreless game?
I expected the loudmouth Italian with two shitty part time jobs to be an intellectual.
You know the Patriots are back when you start seeing Schwab tweets.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The fourth costume of the weekend will be the funny one.”
The Dodgers have started a necklace rage. Kiké and Yoshinobu Yamamoto have sapphire tennis ones, custom made. Miguel Rojas has an agate VCA Alhambra one. Joc Pederson’s pearls look lame by comparison.
Green Line: Through November 13 No service between Park St and Medford/Tufts for maintenance. Use shuttles between Medford/Tufts and North Station. Use the Orange Line through downtown. Union Square riders use Route 87 to Lechmere.
Raheem Morris was dressed like he’s invading Ice Station Zebra.
Boston sports media members age worse than pro wrestlers. And many look like them, especially the women.
Are tires important in NASCAR? It seems like they would be.
Loved the bald ump struggling to explain the rule they made up for one guy: “Yeah it’s the World Series and we got a lotta Japs watching tonight so why don’t you fuck right off?”
I can’t believe there are people out there who would voluntarily live and/or work in anything higher than the fourth floor of a building.
If only the Jets had a Geno Smith or Sam Darnold-type. Wait, what?
Regardless of how you feel about Mike McDaniel as a coach, he is the type of leader I would want surrounding my loved one if they were in the NFL.
When people are like you must not be watching the game BABE it’s the St. Louis blues and I’m bi in Boston and its midnight on a Wednesday I’m doing Cher ‘Believe’ on karaoke why would I ever be watching that game?
Littal you big dummy, you can’t join the mile high club in your own bed.
Why would you watch sports if your reaction to somebody breaking a record is “congrats on doing your job.”
I support Lou Whitaker’s candidacy, but it has nothing to do with the fraudulent nonsense non-stat known as WAR.
Cloning your dog is 100000x weirder than letting a 24-year-old tug your prick.
Listened on repeat whole workout. 1 hour 44 minutes of we to install microwave ovens custom kitchen deliveryyyyy.
I found something worse than women’s basketball. Women’s college hockey. Holy cannoli.
Where on God’s green earth does one find that donut croissant?
For all the great anthem singers in Canada, MLB has really whiffed on their O Canada warblers.
Aldi employees cross train in all departments. It creates roster flexibility across all platforms and lets Madge unload a truck once in a while.
I’m sure it’s great for your mental health to have your name be shorthand for abject failure. Ryan Leaf IS Roy Munson.
Lotta opting ins, lotta opting outs, lotta what have you’s.
Hi. A pedantic moment. We are now back in Standard Time. Daylight Saving Time is the summertime one.
Drake Maye, Mac Jones and Jacoby Brissett all win this week. Just missing Jimmy G.
Good at least the Sox are in on everything again and this will provide some needed momentum for Christmas at Fenway sponsored by Stop and Shop.
Sauce Gardner got more picks for the #Jets yesterday (2) than he has for his whole career (1).
If the Dodgers win another World Series when baseball resumes in 2027 will that count as a Threepeat?
I am going to miss Ryen Rotillo no-selling Simmons’ stupid jokes.
Anyone else been just super depressed since we lost Barstool Beef? I find myself looking for him everywhere.
Clamdicapping is a hell of a business.
Won’t you scratch my itch, sweet Annie Rich? And welcome me back to town Come out on your porch or step into your parlour And I’ll tell you how it all went down Out with the truckers and the kickers and the cowboy angels And a good saloon in every single town.
Yes and I remembered something you once told me And I’ll be damned if it did not come true Well twenty thousand roads I went down, down, down And they all led me straight back home to you.
On the bright side, some gayball Toronto sportswriter is gonna milk this heartbreaking loss for the next 50 years.
And now Kiner-Falefa has some free time to teach Drake Maye how to slide.
Was Jordon Hudson seen carrying a book containing the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes short story ‘Silver Blaze?’
Honk if you remember George Foreman KO of Michael Moorer to regain the Heavyweight championship.
Denny Hamlin: More laps in first place!
Coach Vrabes is gonna make Curtis start drinking again.
Sean McVay has developed a relationship with Joe Mazzulla — and Mazzulla apparently is trying to convince McVay to try jiu jitsu.
Every position is a specialist. That’s why they’re called ‘positions.’
If you make the playoffs and then shop a guy like Skubal you should be forced to sell the team.
Kevin Love is on the Jazz?!
Best bet for the weekend: now the Loyko investigation can begin in earnest over at BSJ!
(The lowest form of humor is the ‘same name!’ gag. Nevertheless…)
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Sail on silver girl. Sail on by.
And Happy Birthday to model/actress Famke Janssen, What is that, Dutch?
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat was not beat Week 8! Good effort, though.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Bears at Bengals
Vikings at Lions
Panthers at Packers
Broncos at Texans
Falcons at Patriots
49ers at Giants
Colts at Steelers
Chargers at Titans
Saints at Rams
Jaguars at Raiders
Chiefs at Bills
Seahawks at Commanders
Cardinals at Cowboys (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our spooky band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Every one of your suggestions was fantastic, unfortunately we don’t have the bandwidth to print them all here, but rest assured they will be available for download once the World Series is over. Until then, enjoy this random assortment of responses:
“Blue square lapel pins” – Robert K., Brookline, MA
“A variety of Buddha faux succulent terrariums” – Arianne S., Peabody MA
“Hugs” – Mike M., Enfield CT
“Resumes” – Jerod M., North Attleborough, MA
“Disease infested blankets” – Jeffrey A., Amherst MA
“Yolks from hard boiled eggs” – Brian L., Mansfield MA
“Blue cupcakes” – Joshua M., Nashua NH
“EpiPens” – Kendra M., Jacksonville FL
“Keep your grimy fingers off my blue cupcakes f*ck face. Give out some of those hand sanitizer bottles you’ve been swigging.” – Roger S., Nashua NH
“Serial killer vibes” – Jonathan B., Stoughton MA
“A free ride home from any detox center” – Frank S., Peabody MA
“L’s” – Steve R., Lowell MA
“Charcoal” – Bryan D., Quincy MA
“I can’t remember the question” – Corey B., Dorchester, MA
Speaking of early onset Alzheimer’s, don’t forget to turn those clocks back on Sunday
Why am I waiting an extra hour to eat?
Sunday Lunch Time Bears (-2.5) at Bengals Tigers lose to Bears, oh my!
Vikings at Lions (-8.5) Jungle kings maul marauders
Panthers at Packers (-12.5) Meatmen slice and dice black cats
I think I’d prefer the slicing and dicing
Broncos (-1.5) at Texans Broncos nix Texicans
Falcons at Patriots (-5.5) Patriots finally get revenge for almost losing the Super Bowl nine years ago
What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander?
49ers (-2.5) at Giants Prospectors pinch Pituitaries
Colts (-3) at Steelers Indianapolis Jones yanks Yinzers
Chargers (-9.5) at Titans Bolts tingle Tits
It looks safe to me
Sunday Dinner Time Saints at Rams (-14) Saints get excommunicated in the City of Angels
Jaguars (-3) at Raiders Spotty cats claw Pete’s poodles
Get busy doodle boy
Chiefs (-2) at Bills Chiefs take down tatanka
Those are some crazy looking coyotes
Sunday Prowl Time Seahawks (-3.5) at Commanders Fake sea birds soar over swamp things
Monday Prowl Time Cardinals at Cowboys (-2.5) Cowboys cage pretty red birds
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The first thing I’d ask if I were at a crooked poker game is, ‘Does the table always hum like that?’
Once again, the local media contingent is the last to know breaking Patriots news.
I thought we had so many years left with Beef. His absence leaves a void that can only be filled with fatter, more hilariously named men.
You know it could be a good day when one of the first things you hear is Screamin’ Jay Hawkins singing “I Put A Spell On You.”
Does Eliot Wolf fancy himself as some kind of 6th round draft savant?
The Bruins appear to be bipolar. Unfortunately.
That stuff that Chauncey Billups and Damon Jones are accused of is legitimately the type of stuff that gets people taken out. No exaggeration.
Cakes are cooking for Ralph Bakshi, Claude Brochu, Robbie van Leeuwen, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Guy Gelso, Denis Potvin, Lee Child, Roger O’Donnell, Dan Castellaneta, Jesse Barfield, Mike Gartner, Michael Carter, Randy Jackson, Yasmin Le Bon, Peter Timmons, Joely Fisher, Rufus Sewell, Peter Breen, Marquez Pope, Gabrielle Union, Tracee Ellis Ross, Michael Shur, Ben Foster, Amanda Beard, Maurice Clarett, Chris Baio, Eric Staal, Gio Benitez, Andy Dalton, and Evan Fournier.
Sarge, that picture should be titled ‘Beefcake Heaven’ or the ‘Studs on Causeway.’
It’s always best to point shave in game 7 of the ECF, a game nobody pays attention to.
Orange Line Update: Please continue to expect delays of about 10 minutes while signal personnel work to overcome a switch problem at Oak Grove.
Does Hogdale become the new Barstool Beef automatically, or is a vote needed?
I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: I love rugby style punters.
Hey gang of fun-haters, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “One-day contracts are stupid.”
Never thought I’d be looking at the NBA Tankathon page again so soon but here we are.
Brian Kelly. Free to pursue other opportunities.
I never understood how an inverted W isn’t just an M.
Pablo Torre’s working on Jordon Hudson’s connection to this NBA gambling scandal.
Coach Vrabes is whacking people with connections to the Lombardi crime family.
Isn’t Dybantsa the drug that treats POTS?
There are survivalist ham radio operators with better Arbitron ratings than WEEI’s lineup.
I am physically incapable of not saying Quinshon Judkins without using the same cadence as ‘Leroy Jenkins.’
Climate change stops when we harness the power of pregame show fake laughs for clean energy.
In Deliver Me from Nowhere, Bruce Springsteen says his favorite hotdog condiment is mustard but in real life, Bruce Springsteen hates mustard so much he did a whole yap about it during a show. How the hell did E Street Ombudsman Gary W. Tallent let this happen?
Working on a fun story tonight where I get to combine two passions: special teams and apple cider doughnuts.
We’ve reached the point where it’s no longer Hazel may … it’s Hazel does.
Today I learned that primer is pronounced, ‘primmer’ when used as a preview of something. I have been mispronouncing that for 46 years.
It’s like those veteran suicide awareness commercials, but instead of some jarhead, they send in Bill Burt and “Hardy.”
Barstool Tofu is still alive and well.
Robert Saleh’s defense loves undersized interior penetrators.
I put a spell on you Because you’re mine Stop the things you tell Watch out, I ain’t lyin’.
Yeah, I can’t stand it No runnin’ around I can’t stand it No, put me down.
I put a spell on you Because you’re mine, oh yeah Stop the things you do Watch out, I ain’t lyin’.
Pets are the best so you just have to give them the best life possible while you can and let them live forever in your memories.
Fun Fact: Point shaving in the WNBA is called point waxing.
Pats should sign Jerod Mayo to a one-day contract and immediately cut him.
Honk if you remember the F/V Andrea Gail.
Or maybe Barstool is like Al-Qaeda: One leader dies, they’re automatically replaced. Seamless transition.
TreyVeyon got his touches! Now what to complain about?
If Hogdale is streaming to ten people during a normal game, I wonder what was happening in the 18th inning the other night.
Another reminder MLB should have emergency backup pitchers in the stands. EBUPs.
I can’t remember a Sunday night when I didn’t think Cris Collinsworth is an asshole. Last Sunday was not one of them.
Sad about Logan Mankins. Maybe Speros stole his donor kidney?
Why on Earth is Marlins Man still a thing? Go away already. It’s played out.
Best bet for the weekend: zero bags of leftover candy.
Bad start, good finish.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friends Hacksaw & Yahtzee, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Happy Halloween, ladies. (laughs) Nuns. No sense of humor.
And happy Birthday to actress Winona Ryder, who puts one on a Halloween frame of mind.
The 15 