March Sadness 2024 Day One Part One
The Wild Card participants all move on into The Big Sads! They’ve earned an off day. Ten contests today, an off day for everyone Wednesday, 12 more on Thursday, with last 10 of Round One on Friday. Let’s Go!!
2024 March Sadness Day One Previews/Predictions
Sent to us from Patrick in Andover del Norte:
Wild Card Monday really lived up to its name, as each of the four winners are first time participants. Apparently, everyone loves to hate an underdog. Are there more upsets on the horizon? That’s for YOU to decide!
Region C – Michael Felger (1) vs Chris Cotillo (16) Let’s face it, Cotillo has no chance against Felger. To help ease his pain please consider signing up to his Zoom workshop for aspiring sportswriters. Come learn what it takes to break into a tough industry. All are welcome, no experience required. Maybe next year YOU can go from March Sadness voter to March Sadness participant. Chris can be reached by email at bychriscotillo@gmail.com for pricing and more info. Make sure to use the code “THE15” at checkout.
Phil Perry (4) vs Rob Bradford (13) What the hell is going on with the brim on all of Bradford’s hats? A 50+ year old man in a flat-brimmed hat is bad enough, but to have a brim with a convex curve! It’s quite the zany affect. I guess it distracts from the perpetually wrinkled boring t-shirts. Perry advances.
Greg Hill (3) vs Rich Keefe (14) UPSET ALERT! The last time I heard Greg Hill on the radio was during one of Howard Stern’s 20-minute-long commercial breaks. Greg actually pulls the highest ratings at WEEI, which is akin to being the tallest midget (Hello Andy Hart!). If you follow the ratings as they plummet throughout the day, you will eventually arrive at Rich Keefe. Keefer sadness for the win!
Region V – Andy Gresh (5) vs Adam Jones (12) Yet another intra-EEI match up. Imagine being at such an awful radio station that Andy Gresh is your lead in. Now imagine being such an awful radio host that you can’t even retain Andy Gresh’s audience. It must be killing Adam Jones that if he had just hung in there for six more months he could have slithered right into co-host seat at the 98.5 Morning Zoo. The Sports Vulva ffffreaking earholes Gresh.
Dan Shaughnessy (6) vs Jermaine Wiggins (11) Can Shank be the Willis Reed of this tournament? More likely the 2023 version of Reed rather than his 1970 performance. Even without a pulse Dan will beat Wiggy.
Region N – Ted Johnson (1) vs Mike Kadlick (16) And now a few words from Ted Johnson: Bread, good. Fire, BAD!
Marc Bertrand (4) vs Gabby Starr (13) Gabby was the belle of last year’s ball, but now that she’s covering the unrest in the Middle East instead of the Red Sox, I fear she may not make it out of round one. The Far Side Kid should roll to a victory.
Jim Murray (2) vs Christian Arcand (15) Arcand is a dingleberry, but Murray is a piece of shit.
Region T – Christian Fauria (8) vs Chris Curtis (9) Fauria may have been part of two Super Bowl wins, yet it is Curtis who has the more amazing accomplishment. What was Lucy thinking?
Mark Daniels (5) vs Joe Murray (12) Poor Joey Beefs doesn’t stand a chance against YOUR New England Patriots Minister of Information. I’m hearing whispers than Daniels is primed for a deep run.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
March Sadness Play-In Games
Steve Buckley, The Athletic: 2023: 12 Seed Region T, 1st Round loss, 2022 12 Seed Region N 1st Round loss, 2019 5 Seed Region C, 2nd Round Loss
Shukri Wrights, The Hockey News, Bleav Network: New contestant
Dan Greenberg, Barstool Sports: 2023 16 Seed Region T, 1st Round loss, 2022 13 Seed Region T, 1st Round loss
Henry McKenna, FOX Sports: New contestant
John Karalis, BSJ: 2023 14 Seed Region V, 1st Round loss, 2022 15 Seed Region N 1st Round loss
Gethin Coolbaugh, BSJ: New contestant
Courtney Cox (Dettore) WEEI: New contestant
Cerrone Battle, The Sports Hub: New contestant
The polls will remain open until 7 PM EDT, Enjoy the start of the Tournament!
March Sadness Wild Card Play-In Monday Previews
Sent to us from Patrick in Andover del Norte:
Welcome to Wildcard Monday!
I was hoping we could get Lucy Burdge to make these picks whilst sashaying through a parking garage, but apparently the budget was blown on AI Trump. Alas, there’s nothing left to splash out on Lucy and her Flex Seal pants. To the match-ups…
Region C: Steve Buckley vs Shukri Wright(s) Steve Buckley? Now, that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time You may remember him from his many stints on WEEI in the late 90s or for his often-recycled columns in the Herald. Now apparently he works as the caretaker for the estate of Donnie Beardsley. Buck is up against a relative newcomer to the Boston sports scene, Shukri Wrights (it maybe Wright, nobody is sure – especially Shukri). Shukri, a NYC native who moved to Boston in 2017, is a lifelong diehard Boston sports fan, that is if you believe life starts at 30. Shukri’s greatest success has come by cosplaying a Bruins fan, which he has been able to parlay into many non-paying jobs at numerous faux media outlets. Does Shukri have what it takes to advance to the round of 64? Do you Bleav in miracles? Buck vs Shuk, should be an old fashioned Pierre Nightmare!
Region V: Dan Greenberg vs Henry McKenna For all the pants pissing he does during each and every Celtics game, Dan’s Twitter handle should be changed to SoilieYellowStain. I guess Dan just cares more, and he’s not afraid to show it! Performative fanning at its finest. Henry McKenna is a milquetoast nobody. Went from http://Boston.com to Fox Sports where he now covers the AFC East and not just the Patriots. He grew a mustache to cover up the fact that he has no upper lip. Punch Greenberg’s ticket to the big dance.
Region N: John Karalis vs Gethin Coolbaugh There was a real danger of the Boston Sports Journal being over-represented in the tournament given their extremely low subscriber to “people who give a shit” ratio. So it’s glad to see that these two bald losers have to battle it out for inclusion. Karalis, he of the scrubbed Twitter timeline, has been barely hanging on to the periphery of the Boston sports scene for years. Still pretending to cover the Celtics, and still no one noticing. Coolbaugh is a complete unknown. Nobody heard of him before Bedard hired him, and nobody has heard of him since Bedard hired him. His Twitter profile picture is himself next to a giant oversized prop microphone, insinuating that he is on the radio. It’s most likely a Rupert Pupkin situation, with Gethin “broadcasting” from his mother’s basement to her weekly bridge group. Based on reviewing their Twitter interactions, Karalis should win this by a total vote count of 1 to 0.
Region T: Courtney Cox vs Cerrone Battle How often do you think Courtney Cox is greeted by disappointed faces when they find out she’s not THE Courtney Cox? 99% or is it actually 100%? I’m told that she’s part of Greg Hill’s Morning Zoo on WEEI, and to be honest I’ve never heard her. All I know if that she is not THE Courtney Cox, and for that I am disappointed. Ten years ago Cerrone Battle’s Twitter timeline was awash with Tweets rightfully calling out Felger and Mazz for their borderline racist comments. After Mazz crossed the border last year, the 98.5 higher ups were desperately scrambling to find “a couple of guys like that” to provide cover for their hosts more colorful comments. Welcome to the 98.5 family Cerrone, just stay away from Felger’s car. Is Cerrone Battle a sellout? Will he advance? That’s for you the voting public to decide.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
2024 Mediot Madness Regional Close Ups
(For greater readability when viewed on mobile devices)
2024 March Sadness Tournament Brackets
Play in Games: Region C 12 Seed Steve Buckley vs wild card Shukri Wrights, Region V 13 Seed Dan Greenberg vs wild card Henry McKenna, Region N 14 Seed John Karalis vs wild card Gethin Coolbaugh, and Region T 15 Seed Courtney Cox (WEEI) vs wild card Cerrone Battle.
Play in games will be on Monday, March 11th. The rest of the field will begin on Tuesday, then Thursday and Friday of next week.
March Mediot Madness Memories
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were:
Brackets. Tomorrow!
3/6/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
I’m trying to convince myself that was a scheduled loss for the Celtics, but it feels like a regular loss.
Are the Bruins back on that Overtime foolishness again? I thought we cleared that up last month!
Red Sox might consider just painting BOSTON on the bottom of the AL East standings part of the Green Monster scoreboard. Save an employee some time fiddling with the signs.
I have no worries about the draft. After receiving a few hours of training at the insurance company, Coach Jerod has created a four tab spreadsheet for the draft. He’ll share it with the friendly media at the next beer summit of forgiveness.
Caitlin Clark is going to play for some Panini team in Italy? Weird.
Cakes are cooking for Marion Barry, Ivan Boesky, Cookie Rojas, Kiri Te Kanawa, Hugh Grundy, Martin Kove, Richard Noble, Kiki Dee, Rob Reiner, Eddie Deezen, Tom Arnold, Sleepy Floyd, Carla McGhee, Moira Kelly, Shaquille O’Neal, Greg Ostertag, Ken Anderson, Erik Bedard, and Tyler, the Creator.
How was Episode 5 of The Dynasty not titled ‘Do You Have Any Cassels?’
The way Stilgar was talking about Paul is basically the way Nick Wright talks about LeBron.
Hey gang of engagement farmers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Every time I look at this bitch, I expect her to start belting out ‘Under the Bridge’.”
A UCL injury for Giolito? Can’t eat innings with one of those. It’s like a busted jaw.
You know, sometimes, imposter syndrome is correct.
Little known fact: Tommy Lister’s famous character Deebo is based off a story Ice Cube heard about a man named ‘Bill the G.’
Is there any available wall space that the Japanese don’t advertise on?
What do you mean there was no three-point shot when Pete Maravich played? This changes everything.
What’s your favorite album with a hidden track over 3 minutes and 32 seconds after the final track?
I believe that Jeff Howe believes he’s fighting a courageous battle.
Orange Line Reminder: March 9-10 (This weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between Forest Hills and Ruggles for signal work. Commuter Rail service will be free to ride between Forest Hills, Ruggles, Back Bay, and South Station.
Does Bill Simmons think Doncic is Serbian?
Hard to think of a family that has had more bad luck of late than the Wakefields. Thoughts to Trevor and Brianna, who are left to go on without their mother and father far too soon.
The O.J. Simpson case was covered by great crime writers like Dominick Dunne and James Ellroy. The Read case has autistic freaks and unemployable delinquents. Just a murderers’ row of ‘tards.
One Kelce down. One to go.
Mark Dondero is worried that the Celtics might lose one out of every 12 games in the playoffs.
It’s the time of the season
When love runs high
In this time, give it to me easy
And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun
To promised lands
To show you every one
It’s the time of the season for loving
What’s your name? (What’s your name?)
Who’s your daddy? (Who’s your daddy?)
(He rich) is he rich like me?
Has he taken (has he taken)
Any time (any time)
(To show) to show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly
Tell you what
I really want to know
It’s the time of the season for loving.
For the record, I think kombucha tastes absolutely terrible. Unless it makes me immortal, I don’t think I’m going out of my way to drink it again.
With Matthew Slater retiring, it looks like Jabrill Peppers is the new fan favorite of the returning group. A great choice.
Get your servers in order, men of DraftKings.
Jordan Montgomery is now widely believed to be wearing on the last nerve.
Honk if you miss Jimmy Orthwein.
Watched May December last night. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back. Movie is just empty, has nothing to say, no insight into its characters, no action. BAD.
Wait another ten years and Bill Simmons will know about gas station kratom!
A: Scissors, duct tape, elastics.
Is it me or Pizza Hut isn’t as good as it used to be? Like it’s alright but I feel like it’s not as good as it was.
That Sydney Sweeney has a certain je ne sais quoi. Perhaps two.
The two most famous Mickey’s in America are Mickey Mouse and Mickey Mantle.
No, Ryan Mallet was decidedly unavailable.
Do you know what Kate Middleton did the last 14 years of her life? Counterintelligence. Kate’s gone. There is no Kate.
Hearing from multiple sources that some trades may happen on trade deadline week.
Blitzing my way through the Apple TV shows after signing on for The Dynasty, and those twunts on Ted Lasso and Slow Horses say twat all wrong!
Back-to-back threes put the Celtics back in control versus Golden State. Bob Ryan must have hated that.
Have fun in Mid-America, UMass. Or something.
Did they dedicate a picnic table to John and Gerry down to Spring Training?
Congratulations to Captain Brian.
Rigor Mort?
Best bet for the weekend: YOU forgetting to set your clock ahead.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend BBtL, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Handle with care, the digital ink is still wet on this edition.
March Sadness 2024 Field of 68(!)
Oyez, Oyez! All those having business before the Tournament Selection Committee of The15net dot com division of The Local Collaborative, take heed and listen:
The following media members, Dale Arnold, Ron Borges, Dave Brown, Tom Caron, Jared Carrabis, Jon Couture, Duke Castiglione, Greg Dickerson, Vern Dozier, Mark Farinella, Chris Forsberg, Steve Happas, Michael Holley, Adam Kaufman, Jay King, Ken Laird, Hector Longo, Mike Lynch, Bobby Manning, Chris Mannix, Jen McCaffrey, Lou Merloni, Mike Mutnansky, Dave O’Brien, Michael Parente, Paul Perillo, Dakota Randall, Alex Reimer, Dan Roche, Eric Rueb, Rich Shertenlieb, Fluto Shinzawa, Christopher Smith, Butch Stearns, Tara Sullivan, Gary Tanguay, and Eric Wilbur will NOT be participating in this year’s March Sadness Tournament. For reasons.
We regret to inform the voters that, due a recent unfortunate accident, Jeff Howe will not be participating in this year’s tournament. He is currently busy hugging his loved ones a little tighter in an undisclosed location. He has been granted a medical waiver, one we were going to use for Dan Shaughnessy before realizing it would be a darn shame if he missed out on winning a posthumous title. Jeff wants you all to know that he will be back as soon as possible, tanned and rested, ready to a manifest his next traumatic event.
Congratulations to new contestants Chris Cotillo, Courtney Cox, Chad Graff, Mike Kadlick, Kendra Middleton, & Tyler Milliken plus Cerrone Battle, Gethin Coolbaugh, Henry McKenna and Shukri Wrights! The last four ‘wild cards’ were included thanks to special dispensation from the Selection Committee, despite having otherwise disqualifying factors, such as insufficient ties to an actual media organization, residency outside New England, and not being real.
The remainder of the field is as follows:
Automatic Radio Bids: Marc Bertrand, Christian Fauria, Michael Felger, Andy Gresh, “Hardy”, Greg Hill, Adam Jones, Rich Keefe, Tony Masserotti, Meghan Ottolini, Joe Murray, Fred Toucher, Scott Zolak, plus 2nd & 3rd bananas Christian Arcand, Jim Murray, Jon Wallach, and Jermaine Wiggins.
Online media: Steve Buckley, Nick Cattles, Mike Giardi, Dan Greenberg, Joe Haggerty, John Karalis, Taylor Kyles, Khari Thompson, Jerry Thornton, Jared Weiss, John Zannis-
Print media: Peter Abraham, Albert Breer, Andrew Callahan, Tom E. Curran, Mark Daniels, Kevin Paul Dupont, Chad Finn, Christopher Gasper, Karen Guregian, Sean McAdam, Bob Ryan, Dan Shaughnessy, Gabrielle Starr, Gary Washburn-
Televison: Trenni Casey, Michael Hurley, Ted Johnson-
At-Large bids: Brian Barrett, Rob Bradford, Chris Curtis, Mark Dondero, “Fitzy”, Nick Gemelli, Andy Hart, Evan Lazar, Dan Lifshatz, Matt McCarthy, Phil Perry, Brian Scalabrine, & James Stewart.
Brackets to be announced Thursday of this week.
March – TO’s & Three’s – Celtics Column
Very rarely can you accurately pinpoint when a team is in the middle of something extremely special. Yes, the Celtics have not won the title – yet. But they are winning in such a dominating fashion they aren’t just the favorites to win the championship, but to be a team we hold in high regard for decades after the fact.
Boston’s net rating sit at 11.6, sandwiched between the 2016-17 Golden State Warriors and 2015-16 San Antonio Spurs for fourth best in the history of the league. For even more context the 2007-08 Celtics net rating was 11.2. But let’s focus on the fact the Celtics have compiled a team that statistically rivals the Kevin Durant GSWarriors. They won 67-games that year and everyone still believes they were pacing themselves, they were that good – and the Celtics are in their company for this regular season.
Sit back and really bask in this glory for the fleeting moments we have it. For even if it does not end the way we wish it to, you’ll kick yourself for focusing only on the destination and ignoring the fruits of the journey.
If they are able to close the deal then I can say not only was this the best Celtics team of my life time, but perhaps of all-time. While Jayson Tatum is no Larry Bird, and Kristaps Porzingis is no Bill Russell, what this team provides is the best elements of the 1986 and 1962 teams and super charges them and even makes the greats look human by comparison.
The ability to go five-out and have your only non floor spacer be Luke Kornet is embarrassing. Having Jrue Holiday, the No. 3 option on a title team act as your No. 5 is embarrassing. Having 2nd Team All-NBAer Jaylen Brown as your No. 3 is embarrassing. The fact Jayson Tatum doesn’t even have to force his hand and can walk into any shot he wants is embarrassing. Brad Stevens found his Dennis Johnson in Holiday. He couldn’t find his Bill Russell, but Yao Ming with a 3-point shot in Porzingis will suffice.
Normal teams don’t get to survive slumps from their player and still win by 20. They don’t spank a Warriors team rediscovering their mojo by 52. They don’t go 12-4 over the first 49-games, then win 11 in a row. Speaking of the win streak, some fun stats to put into perspective this recent stretch of excellence: Top average margin of victory ever during a win streak of at least 10 games (+22.1 during 11-game streak); Top average scoring margin over any six-game span in NBA history (+29.8) – Per Marc D’Amico on Twitter/X.
Brown is making a case for All-NBA, his post-All Star break run averaging 27.2/5.8/3.4 on 59.5/45.2/73 shooting splits averaging 9.6 points in the frst quarter. He may not be Tommy Heinsohn, or Kevin McHale, but rich man’s Vinnie Johnson is more than enough for me.
Porzingis’ All-NBA case grows by the day, as it is becoming increasingly evident, he is the No. 2 behind Tatum. He is averaging 20/7/2 on 66 True Shooting %. His net ratings are nearly identical to Tatum (+11 ON +8 OFF) only behind White with a crazy (+13.3 ON, + 5 OFF) much higher than Brown (+8.7 ON, +13.3 OFF) Add to that he’s also having one of his best defensive seasons in his career on top of this great offensive season.
It’s an embarrassment of riches and the reason I implore you to put your fears aside is even if they do hurt you in the end, the feeling of loss will remain the same regardless you brace for it now or later.
This team is TOO TALENTED for even a willing-to-spend owner to keep together. When the time comes to break them up it’s likely that Brown will be replaced by an in-house player or someone from the bargain bin because that’s what happens when your best players are making “too much”. It’s not bad cap management, it’s just the God’s honest truth; great teams cost money. The Warriors are on the back end of their run because their best players are on the back-nine eating up a large sum of the pie. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s the natural cycle of contention. What matters is you make the right bets in the end.
Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not live in mortgage-free Western Mass.
The 15 