We have them, your 2025 Hateable Eight. Several have been here before, others in uncharted territory.
The Hateable Eight round will start Thursday, March 27th, then The Four You Deplore will battle it out Monday March 31st. Consolation Match Tuesday April 1st, and the Championship on Thursday, April 3rd.
Happy Monday! Welcome to the Salty Sixteen! Tough decisions will need to be made. Polls will close at 9 PM EDT.
Some fun was had yesterday, amirite? Now the two remaining Regions, C & T compete. Polls open until 9 PM EDT.
Maybe next year we will come up with a catchy nickname for this round. Regions N and V compete today. Polls to remain open until 8 PM EDT.
Last ten of the opening round.
Polls will be open until 10 PM Eastern Daylight Saving Time. Round Two next week!
If you went to bed early last night you missed a couple of white knucklers. Scott Zolak pulled out a dramatic last second win over Rich Keefe, and Rob Bradford got Guregian’d after a day-long rock fight with Karen. Remember to vote early and often, and to check back in regularly throughout the day to follow the dramatic proceedings.
Region C
8 Mark Dondero vs 9 Jared Carrabis
Mr. Dondero is going to get the entire Bellingham Jr. High lunchroom to stuff the ballot box.
7 Dan Shaugnessy vs 10 Meg Ottolini
This should have been the Battle of the Recovery Ward. Shank is back in the tournament after almost missing last year due to emergency quadruple-bypass surgery. Jeff Howe was exempt in 2024 with a severe case of what physicians now refer to as factitious disorder imposed on self (formerly known as Munchausen syndrome). But then Ottolini had to stick her upsetting feet into the mix and pull off the wild card win over Howe. Jeff may never recover. Meg O thinks she’s hilarious, has momentum and hammer toes – that’s proving to be a winning formula.
Region V
1 Chris Gasper vs 16 Dan Greenberg
Kid Gas facilely matriculates to the subsequent echelon.
3 Albert Breer vs 14 Chris Smith
Bert once again whips it out and gives Smith a golden shower.
7 Bob Ryan vs 10 Jackie MacMullen
Jurassic World: The Journalistic Trenches. Watch as Bob “T-Rex” Ryan takes down Jackie “Metriacanthosaurus” MacMullen in a battle that time forgot! The CGI budget for Mr. Ryan’s teeth alone must have broken the bank. Good thing we have been tipped off on how to make money just for charging our phones.
Region N
1 Gabby Starr vs 16 Joe Haggerty
Pretty tricky of the committee to pit Ms. Starr up against “Pork Chop” Joe right before Shabbat. Expect Gabby to persevere.
5 Nick “Fitzy” Stevens vs 12 Chris Forsberg
The Greek carpetbagger bags another victim.
2 Michael Felger vs 15 Phil Perry
Felger doesn’t under perform until the Final Four.
Region T
6 Taylor Kyles vs 11 Kendra Middleton
The DEI Derby! Were there no Boston bred slightly chubby 6’s that the Sports Hub could have hired? The Jacksonville Jackass will put a banana in Kyles tailpipe and pull off the minor upset.
2 Mike Reiss vs 15 Trenni Casey
MAJOR UPSET ALERT! Historically these seedings should be reversed, but Trenni has become somewhat irrelevant, while Reiss has taken a dramatic heel turn in the past year. Hopefully Mrs. Casey gives Myke Crease a personal apology once she’s done beating his ass.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
Now for the second batch:
Polls remain open until 10:30 PM EDT. Have some fun out there!
Here is Part 1 for your voting enjoyment, Part 2 will post in a couple hours.
Polls will remain open until 8:30 PM EDT, enjoy the mediot madness!
Region C
5 Andy Hart vs 12 Tom Carroll
UPSET ALERT! Tommy Freezepops will release his inner fat slob (who is destined to resurface at a moment’s notice) and squash mighty mite Dumbo Hart like the little cockroach he is.
3 Jim Murray vs 14 Evan Lazar
Lazar made a strong push over the weekend when he incorrectly reported that Myles Garrett had been given permission by the Browns to seek a trade, and then after his followers pointed out he was incorrect, he quickly – without admitting the error – pivoted to a slightly altered stance so he could still appear “right”. A complete weasel move by the Lizard. However Jim Murray is truly a odious human being with no redeeming qualities and will win this match up in a landslide.
6 Brian Scalabrine vs 11 Drew Carter
The Mike Gorman Memorial match-up, where you, yes YOU, get to determine who is to blame for the sharp drop in the quality of Celtics broadcasts! We’d tell you how Scal thinks this one is going to turn out, but given Scal’s horrific record at replay review predictions, you’d already know the result. (Pssst, Scal is confident that Drew pulls off the upset.)
Region V
8 Jerry Thornton vs 9 Doug Kyed
Last fall Jerry buried two of his brothers. Today he buries Kyed.
6 Jimmy Stewart vs 11 Matt McCarthy
McTeethy should be a nervous as cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Although most intelligent cats would rather be in a room full of rocking chairs than in a room with J-Stew.
Region N
4 Mike Giardi vs 13 Michael Holley
“It’s Girardi not Girardi, idiot.”
6 Nick Cattles vs 11 Mike Kadlick
Kadlick was last year’s Cinderella story, but this year it’s pumpkin head Cattles who gets to dance with Prince Charming.
Region T
1 Marc Bertrand vs 16 Joe Murray
Joe Murray seems seriously underrated as a 16 seed, but he has no chance in this battle of the behemoths. Bertrand swallows him whole.
4 Tony Massarotti vs 13 Matt Vautour
I’m not really familiar with Vautour’s work but I’m willing to believe it stinks. I’m all too familiar with Mazz’s work and I know it’s terrible.
3 Cerrone Battle Ackerman vs 14 Rob “Hardy” Poole
YOU didn’t think Ackerman should even be in this tournament! YOU thought the fact that he lives in podunk North Carolina and is completely out of touch with the Boston sports scene would be grounds for exclusion. Now YOU can’t wait to vote for him.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
Update – Polls stay open until 10 PM EDT. Enjoy Day One!
The 15 