The 15

Well that game turned from a laugher into a real kick to the yarbles, didn’t it?

Gonna need the Garden crowd to will the Bruins to a victory.

Jeff Howe should let people know he beat cancer.

Getting real 1966 season vibes from this Red Sox squad.

NFL SZN Schedule leak SZN.

I missed having Gabby Williams in the W so damn much.

If the Mets have a NESN equivalent, and they do, expect the, Cinco de Mayo Milagro to be in heavy rotation.

Cakes are cooking for Lou Whittaker, Ving Rhames, Thomas Dooley, Cara Coughenour, Tony Hawk, Jim Furyk, and Samantha Mathis.

Bob Lanier was a true gentleman. A nicer man than he was a player — and he was a hell of a player.

Terrible called strike three. A McDonald’s kiosk wouldn’t have missed that.

The #Bills are hiring #Texans assistant director of player personnel Matt Bazirgan for the role of Senior Personnel Executive in Brandon Beane’s front office. Some expertise and experience after the loss of Joe Schoen to the #Giants.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “A day late and a dollar short.”

My doggy is awfully sweet, but sometimes I would like to be able to put on my shoes without a dog standing 8 inches in front of me saying “Let’s go let’s go let’s go. What’s taking you so long?”

Blue Line Update: Shuttle buses will continue to replace train service between Airport & Government Center through Tuesday, May 17. Special ferry service continues between Lewis Mall (near Maverick) and Long Wharf North (near Aquarium)

Man, that Barstool thing that happened, with those Barstool people; crazy, isn’t it?

Congratulations on your very first Calder Cup playoff game win, Springfield Thunderbirds.

All we ask is that NBA officials treat Giannis the way NFL officials did Gronk during his Patriots tenure.

Bob DeFelice has retired after 54 seasons and 1,868 games as Bentley’s head coach. He has been the only head coach since the inception of the baseball program in 1969.

Pro Tip: The wedding reception you are going to that is being held on a farm in a ‘historic barn’ means no air conditioning.

American Honda Motor Co., Inc. (Honda) is recalling certain 2020 model year Accord Hybrid, 2020 model year CR-V Hybrid, and 2020-2021 model year Insight vehicles. The DC-DC converter on certain power converter units (PCUs) contain transistors with a high concentration of dopant injections. The increased doping, along with cold ambient temperatures, could amplify the voltage output and shut down the DC-DC converter due to overvoltage, which prevents the 12-volt battery from recharging.

“I’m going to go out tonight and pay for a Strange box” does not mean what it sounds like.

Always said you were a youth quaker, Edie
A stormy little world shaker
Warhol’s darling queen, Edie
An angel with a broken wing

The dogs lay at your feet, Edie
Oh, we caressed your cheek
Oh, stars wrapped in your hair
A life without a care
But you’re not there.

Van Gundy is already shocked about that Game 6 foul call on Giannis!

Forget Apple TV, Red Sox games should be on CNN+!

Grilled bison? #SignMeUp

Sad to see Brady have to settle for a media job after getting his ownership plans ruined by Bill and his missent text message.

Honk if you remember TCR -Total Control Racing.

Never make fun of someone for mispronouncing a word. That just means they read it somewhere first. Instead, make fun of them for being a book-reading nerd.

Is Ja Morant the new Ewing Theory exemplar?

Can’t wait for the scene in Season 9 of Winning Time when Magic learns he contracted HIV from a toilet seat and the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme music plays.

For his next book, I hope Bob Ryan writes a speculative fiction one about what the NBA scores would be if the 3-point shot gimmick had never been introduced.

Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Stihdsy.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Mine is room temperature lemon-lime seltzer!

Best bet for the weekend: important Game Sevens.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Fire woman, you’re to blame.

Stevie Breyer, now Tommy Brady. Retirement announcements: ruined.

Do NHL players ever get Middle Body Injuries?

When do pitchers and catchers report to training camp only to find themselves locked out?

Now watch Patrick Mahomes get married in the offseason and lose his parking spot for minicamp.

I just hope the new OC is committed to building the offense around N’Keal Harry.

Happy National Girls and Women “in Sports” Day!

I think the Omicron Strain has had enough fun infecting the Bruins, thank you very much.

The problem with giving Tom Brady a one-day contract is that he’s gonna hog all the reps from Mac.

Cakes are cooking for Christie Brinkley, Dexter Manley, Robert DeLeo, Jody Hull, Shakira, and Carolina Klüft.

I suppose if you didn’t get the extra cooch muscle, having an amazing football mind is an acceptable consolation prize.

So long, Umlaut.

Per source, Washington Football Team has chosen “Commanders” as the new team name. Mascot TBA.

Whenever I am going to leave my dog alone for a couple of hours, I always give him a bone, which he always refuses to accept as a way of saying “NO, I do NOT agree to this.” But as soon as I leave the room he starts prancing around like “I’ve got a bo-one; I’ve got a bo-one.”

The #Broncos are for sale. Look for the price to start with a 4.

Switching the camera from a closeup of Sam Ponder to one of Chris Mortensen is so jarring that it should be illegal.

Cheap Kraft sat Bill on his lap and demanded Bill spend all his money. Okay.

Friday was the 36th anniversary of the Challenger tragedy. Peter King has visited the McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center in Concord and says “the place is a blast”.

Cooper Kupp is the worst thing to happen to black corners since stop and frisk! What?

What kind of asshole doesn’t know Helen Mirren won the Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role for Gosford Park at the 8th Annual SAG Awards?

Homemade soup and fresh bread? Sign me up!

News Item: The New York Times announced Monday that it acquired Wordle for an amount in the “low seven figures. Wingo remains a free agent.

Knock-Knock. ‘Who’s there?’ Nick Gelso. ‘Nick Gelso who?’ EXACTLY.

Pasta piling up points.

Another hot sales girl today. Can you put your legs behind your head? Leave the boots on.

Same day tickets will be available at face value next season in Tampa Bay.

That Jackass Movie didn’t come out like six months ago?

Is there a Chico or Zeppo Belichick who can nepotist their way to the Offensive Coordinator position?

Hey Gang! Thanks for the visit! Have a Werther’s! This week’s Phrase that Pays is “How to make ‘legally’ make clam chowder and don’t frighten the pigeons.”

You got emotionally manipulated into watching the entire series run of This Is Us! You did! You did!

Update: Middleborough/Lakeville Line Train 007 (8:50 am from South Station) is now operating 40-50 minutes behind schedule between Holbrook/Randolph and Middleborough due to a late swap of equipment.

I’m just saying, if you’re going to pick a month not to drink alcohol, why not the shortest one?

Amazing memories seeing the Bosstones over the past 30 years!! One of the most important bands of my life. You were always there for me. going to miss you!! Much love.

Andy Reid is the only Head Coach to lose Conference title games by poor clock management in both the NFC and the AFC.

There’s a Vinatieri back in New England. Welcome to UMass, A.J.

Why not a two-day contract? I’m just asking the question!

Honk if you remember the 1934 Springfield American Legion Post 21 baseball squad.

Time is undefeated, but so is the yappa yappa yappa.

That Dunks closed early during the blizzard because they hate Willie O’Ree!

Can you wager on the Beanpot in New Hampshire? Unbuckle your stupid Puritan hats and in the name of the Sacred Cod, legalize sports betting, 187th Great and General Court of the Commonwealth!

Kraft is too cheap to pay Brady for one day.

“You’re so wound up” he said with his 124th tweet of the day, knotting himself into a pretzel while vigorously fisting himself.

Paneling still looks fantastic.

There I was at the immigration scene
Shining and feeling clean, could it be a sin?
I got stopped by the immigration man
He said he doesn’t know if he can let me in
Let me in, immigration man
Can I cross your line and pray?
I can stay another day, won’t you let me in, immigration man?
I won’t toe your line today, I can’t see it anyway.

If Mahomes likes running sideline to sideline to sideline for no gain, why did he put so little effort into the ‘typical sneakerhead’ State Farm ad?

The Washington “Be Blanders.” Boom, Roasted.

Don’t touch Jimmy!!

Pro tip: they’re all the Bill Atherton character in Die Hard.

You know who was very good about writing thank you’s? Margaret Mitchell.

Groundhog says six more weeks of the baseball lockout. Sorrey!

I bet Tom got conked in the head by a falling cold-stunned iguana and that’s why he accidentally left the New England page out of his IG story.

Is this real?

Some of my best friends are Brians!

Best bet for the weekend: Mac. Owning at the Professional Bowl.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW poster TommyFW, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. When you see the Southern Cross for the first time, you understand now why you came this way.

Well, if you can’t win the World Series, I guess it’s okay if the team that used to play in your city defeats the team that knocked you out of the playoffs. Congratulations to the once-Boston Braves.

Nep Castiglione got the scoop on the RemDawg getting called out at third, as it were. Go figure.

Can you surf in a Fremen stillsuit?

Cam Newton led the Patriots to .500 with a win in LA versus the Chargers too, caller.

Fenway Park golf cart > Nursing Home Cat.

Aaron Rodgers didn’t get the discount double jab?

Marcus Smart who is shooting 29% from the field should shut his fucking clam.

Cakes are cooking for Dwight Evans, Dennis Miller, Karch Kiraly, Kym Hampton, and Tariq Abdul Wahad.

Okay, I’ll say it. I miss ‘Treat Yourself.’

I talked to a scout the other day- he was intrigued by Greg Dickerson’s fast twitch muscles.

Henry Ruggs III had to get home.

If Brady were still in New England we’d know that he is also unvaccinated.

Wait: Jerry, Jared, Jenna, & Jordan Remy? They’re like the Kardashians with all the K’s, but even shittier people.

Weymouth’s Own Charlie Coyle is like Tito Jackson! Or something.

Red eye flights. Yeah right,as if! LOL

Fremen ride their sandworms single-file, to conceal their numbers.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Make sure none of your buddies put a fake dick in your bag.”

Jerry can’t snap his fingers at waitresses anymore. Sad.

I want to cheer for Bolden!

Lots of buzz on the street about that Ed Lasso TV show. Is it on USA?

Sunday was be the first time this season Brandon King did not earn a NLTBE active roster bonus. His cap number will not change this week.

‘RIP Manny Remy’ – John Kerry

I still feel like MLB should let the pitchers who want to hit continue to do so.

Buy cows. Bitcoin cows!

Fremen think NBA players wear too much neoprene.

Green Line D Branch: Delays of up to 15 minutes westbound due to a train with a mechanical problem at Newton Centre.

New England Revolution playoff packages are now available.

He said “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup
And spit out better words than you”
But you didn’t
Man, you’re kidding yourself if you think
The world revolves around you
You know you got lots to give
And so many options
I’m real sorry
‘Bout whatever happened to you.

I believe the clinical term is “high functioning”.

Seven cancer battles. Seven career home runs. Only in baseball.

Packers QB Aaron Rodgers was quoted as saying he’s been “immunized.” By the letter of the law in the NFL, that does not equal vaccinated.

Honk if you remember American Express Travelers Cheques.

As one computer said, if you’re on the train, and they say Portal Bridge, you know you better make other plans..

Lemme tell you kids, back in my day, the fun sized candy bars were the size of gorilla fingers!

Former Raiders WR Henry Ruggs III is a must sit-in all formats.

Congratulations to Michelle Wie on being the first elected female Mayor of Beantown.

Best bet for the weekend: forgetting to fall back one hour.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, and #the15 were used in this column. Here comes the pizza!!