The 15

Bill Belichick out-coached Sean McDermott on national TV by running a 6 OL, triple-option offense a la Navy Midshipmen football. Absolutely brilliant.

Ohhh, a diplomatic boycott. That’ll teach them.

Some days you give up 137. Some days you score 145. And still other days you bench your starters. Only in basketball.

Portnoy thinks Bert’s obsession with 19-year-olds is weird.

Kirk is back. For now.

The only thing worse than a baseball writer is 400 baseball writers acting as self-appointed gatekeepers.

Gene Steratore always sounds like they’re calling him in the middle of a collection.

Obviously my intentions were good.

Cakes are cooking for Kevin Harvick, Elsa Benítez, Brandt Snedeker, Neel Jani, and AnnaSophia Robb.

Buffalo is a city full of SteveR’s.

I don’t even like rollercoasters-you’d never catch me in space.

No you guys; Mina only wants the good kind of attention.

“I’m eating El Prez frozen pizza and washing it down with a Pink Whitney! I’m cool!’

They keep telling us Harry Bailey is a great football player, but then I look at that uniform George is forced to wear and I’m definitely thinking Harry is pulling a Cousy and is playing against future insurance salesmen and accountants.

Green Line Reminder: Shuttle buses replace D Branch service between Fenway and Riverside, Mon – Thurs, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service.

St. Joseph probably has to assign extra AS2’s to the Bedford Falls bridge after every Bills loss to the Patriots.

Did the assassin confuse Medina Spirit and Reality Winner?

Hey Gang of enviroscolds! This Week’s Phrase that Pays is “It speaks to the huge exoticism bias & racism in nature doc series that when the narrator discusses the extinction of animals due to habitat encroachment, the US and UK aren’t discussed. I love Attenborough’s documentaries, but this is a thing he’s particulars guilty of doing.”

“Yelling at someone makes their addiction melt away.” — Dr. SteveR

Do they sell Christmas trees at the Fenway Park rooftop gardens?

They fucked up my chimichanga. It’s not right, Greg.

I don’t know no shame
I feel no pain
I can’t see the flame
But I do know Man-din-ka
I do know Man-din-ka
I do know Man-din-ka
I do

NWH soundtrack is the final nail in the coffin for the 1% of people who are still in denial about Maguire/Garfield returning.

GALLUP COOP AND CEEDEE together at once

Is ‘cheugy’ an example of someone actually making fetch happen?

Bob Dole wouldn’t mind the fun people are having at Bob Dole’s expense if Bob Dole weren’t dead.

How about that URI vs Providence hoops game?

“Sure, my daughter is dead but thank god for Dan Campbell.” – How Bert Breer thinks people think.

They let criminals sell used cars?

You can say all you want about Marcus Semien, but I still say he is no Rougned Odor.

Ask Coach Kangol why the snake oil salesman is handling team vax cards, sports media.

Honk if you remember Pier 1 Imports.

The Lions also play their best football after Thanksgiving, honks.

Close the door, Eustace.

Can Phil Perry be primaried?

Yeah lemme go on a cruise ship during a Pandemic. That sounds like a great idea. Notttt.

Best bet for the weekend: Sportshuman of the Year 2021 Tommy Statpadder taking the Bills to the woodshed.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW poster Kingasaurus and #the15 were used in this column. I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant.

The MLS Cup isn’t a double-elimination tourney? Less than ideal.

The day after Thanksgiving turkey gumbo is a lot of work but so worth it

Martha’s Vineyard basketball, the Rucker Park of Massachusetts island communities.

Is it ironic that Pat Burns was cremated?

I only answer to Fred the Baker and the higher ups at Dunkins.

Cakes are cooking for O.J. McDuffie, Rachel McQuillan, Monica Seles, Jan Ullrich, Aaron Rodgers, and Gary Sánchez.

Actually the BBWAA is trash, and the IBWAA is made up.

Pinot Grigio and regret make the world go round.

Pretty convinced the Fitbit sleep score is a random number generator.

Beef Barn
Tasty and Affordable

YES!!!! The 2021 Retrosheet Data has been posted!! This should be a National Holiday: RETROSHEET DAY!

Oh, the band in the documentary who broke up months later were sick of each other? Thanks, Corky.

“Greek Stuffing” is how Haggerty’s wife gets him dressed in his little suits.

Hey, Gang of stat humpers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “I prefer to vote for someone who is good on 4th downs.”

Omicron Beam > Omicron variant

Timely block, Rob Williams. Related, I can’t tell the difference between the Ninth and Tenth Doctors.

The best phrenologist is still a quack.

News Item: ‘Just because Cam Newton is on your roster it doesn’t mean you’re just going to win,’ says Cam Newton

Oh man, I missed Dame Time again.

Blue Line: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to a maintenance train inspecting the overhead wires. Trains may be asked to stand by at stations.

Another promise, another scene
Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed
And all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined
(So come on)

Has anyone made a ‘Brian Kelly giving Notre Dame the Irish Goodbye’ joke yet? Everyone? Oh.

Nothing gets the teenagers wetter than “I know Mike Wallace”.

The calendar flips to December and I’ve already started watching old Masters Highlights. I can smell the Azaleas, Dogwoods, and Magnolias already. 123 days but who’s counting?

Marchand did nothing wrong!

Each morning I wake and check to see if I have a pulse. When I do I know it’s gonna be a good day…

AIDS Feet > COVID Toe.

I take no pleasure in reporting that Ted Sarandis won.

Milton Massachusetts. Home to the Blue Hills. and also Rich Hill. Welcome home.

I’m not your fucking “cupcake.”

You mean cosplaying as a beat writer doesn’t put you on par with Mookie Betts financially?

Honk if you remember the Almost Home line of cookies.

Oh sure, when the dog snores she’s cute.

I’m starting to think this Keith Olbermann character is a bit of an unstable prick.

Run-preventer JBJ is back? I am cool with that.

Oh gee was, the camera on accidentally catching me in a moment of vulnerability?

Best bet for the weekend: Kohl’s Cash getting earned.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. They will not control us. We will be victorious.

Usually you need a Corleone family christening for things to get worked out like they did for New England on Sunday.

Sometimes you just have to tip your touk to a team, well played, Calgary.

Impeccable sources tell me the Red Sox are in on every single available free agent starting pitcher.

Was that Monday Night Football or an infomercial for “Man In The Arena”?

What’s wrong about the Celtics can be fixed by what’s right about the Celtics.

Do they save Kirk some dark thoughts meat at the laughing academy Thanksgiving feast?

That Kid Rock video looks like a Law & Order in-show production as part of a rebellious teen crime wave storyline.

Cakes are cooking for Doug Brien, Stephen Merchant, Katherine Heigl, and Johnny Exantus.

Giardi is ‘bitchy waiter’ gay, not ‘redesign your kitchen’ gay.

You know if you put a tomahawk steak in front of me I’m gonna eat the whole damn thing.

Airheads are the Richard Deitsch of candy.

A surprise: The #Texans are cutting RB Phillip Lindsay, source said. He heads to waivers.

Colin Cowherd thought Marino, Moon, and Favre were #1 picks? What?

The tryptophan in turkey makes me sleepier than a high school girl at Dave Portnoy’s house.

Matt Judon: known for his red sleeves. Bill Belichick: known for cutting the sleeves off sweatshirts. They complete each other.

The annual Gerry Callahan Thanksgiving football column is just as bad as the WKRP episode is. Cry.

An exorbitant amount of packing peanuts? That’s what you call a value-add.

Hey F-stop Gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “This tree looks like a cute lil broccoli!”

Sleeping for 6 hours during the day is not a ‘nap.’ It’s a cry for help.

I was listening to the Bills radio broadcast whilst doing yard work. Holy crap those guys are positive about their team. They didn’t point out any uncalled penalties on the Bills, didn’t crap on any of the players, never gave up hope (way past when they should have). They did have the big sads though.

No one believes you about Peng Shuai, CCP.

Green Line B Branch Update: Regularly scheduled service has resumed.

Why couldn’t Freddie Mercury have contracted that Magic Johnson fake AIDs strain?

Titans’ playmakers clearly want the smoke.

Isn’t Suzy Kolber a little old to be dressing like David Coverdale?

theThe Republic of Cambridge

Mopey Tom had a depression lamp in 2019 but Gisele turned it off to save the rainforest.

Hey, is lookalike Best Friend Sixto also on this year’s Baseball Hall of Fame ballot?

Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties, oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls, they’ll be riding today
So look out for those beauties, oh yeah

On your marks, get set, go!

Not many things I enjoy less than trying to pry open the little plastic bags you put produce in at the grocery store.

Bishop Hendrickson football is a cute, fun story, but they are no undefeated 1969 Medfield squad.

Honk if you remember Betty and Barney Hill.

Like I said; AMA Artists of the Year BTS.

There are not enough coffee table books in America to display all of the coffee table baseball books that get published.

Giblets!

Bob Murchison can’t stop the Herald from running Gerry’s column. Can he? Has he tried?

UMass Hoops lost to an Ivy?

Best bet for the weekend: Daniel Craig sheepishly announcing it.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. Radio what’s new? Radio, someone still love you!

The Patriots are 6-4. They are on a 4-game winning streak. Are in control of their playoff destiny. Watching the last seven games should be fun.

News Item: Fenway Sports Group in negotiations to buy the NHL Pittsburgh Penguins franchise.

E-Rod didn’t tip anyone off he was going to sign with Detroit?

Boston Globe Spotlight Team: Is Pastrnak Really a Good Kid? A Five-Part Investigation.

Zolak guessing the target pre-snap and being consistently wrong sure is fun.

Coach Udoka should call the ‘score more baskets during regulation’ play on the regular.

A one-all draw in a CONCACAF qualifier away against Jamaica? Worth a point.

Even Kyle Rittenhouse thinks Brian Burns is being a pussy about this.

idk who still needs to hear this but gaining wait is not a negative thing to be avoided at all costs

Cakes are cooking for Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Sean Miller, Eli Marrero, Lord Infamous, Katie Feenstra, and Nani.

Limo Wristlets!

Bruins need more goal scoring Charlies. Or not. Unsure as to the supply.

Make a note The real Irish call it Derry.

Jamie Collins (Senior) made one great play and then went on IR? That seems right.

Salutations, chums! This half-fortnight’s Precept that Renumerates is, “Well that’s a convenient line of logic and intellectual counter measure.”

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her.
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters

The Queen of England is 95 years young, I believe. I want to know what’s her secret to her long life. Is it all the tea?

I think T-Swift enters into doomed relationships just for the songwriting material.

Slice seed the last week of March. It will be mint by Mother’s Day. Black Beauty Ultra and 16-26-10 starter fertilizer.

Peter King: “The NFL triples down on the most insane officiating decision in memory. I wish Cassius Marsh could fight this one to the Supreme Court.” This officiating upsets Pete, but not the beta testing of new catch rules and a missed illegal formation during SB LII. Pumpkin headed moron with a hint of citrus.

Hearing that Julio Lugo died made me think he was already dead, but that was José Lima I was initially thinking of. RIP to both.

Red Line Braintree Branch: Delays of up to 15 minutes southbound due to a train with an earlier mechanical problem.

A: Buckley, Compton, Cox, Edwards, Huard, Izzo, Patten, Phifer, Pleasant, Smith, Vrabel.

I used to like Al Michaels in his prime. Dude is flirting with 80 and he sounds like the gopher from Winnie-the-Pooh. Time to go.

Gasper back at the Globe. Nep Castiglione fought off another challenger.

Now Najee Harris will think the Super Bowl can end in a tie.

(Dylan-esque harmonica solo)

Theo thought I overpaid for packaging costs for the first batch of coffee mugs.

I object to Catfish Hunter being listed in sources as “Jim”. Baseball players should be listed by the name by which there were known IN BASEBALL. Home Run Baker’s family called him Frank, and Red Ruffing’s family called him Charles or Charlie. But we don’t list them that way.

Honk if you remember Coffee Time Syrup endorsed by Jimmy Piersall.

Zo, on Meyers’ touchdown: “if there’s anyone who deserves a touchdown more than this guy…it’s him.” Yogi Berra nods.

Teddy had a Latin temper too, Julio.

In a surprise, the Jets are planning to start Joe Flacco vs Miami, source tells ESPN. Zach Wilson still not 100%. Flacco’s experience likely a big factor in the decision, facing blitz-heavy D.

Aw man; not Heath Freeman, too!

Just realized why my wife likes it when I go to Patriots games. She gets peace and quiet for two days: the day of the game and the day after as I rest my voice.

‘Roni bar pie ‘za; who says no?

This ‘Drew Bledsoe – great teammate’ revisionist history cannot be allowed to go unchallenged. And won’t.

Best bet for the weekend: LeBron returns to action against the Celtics.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW users The Gimp, Kingasaurus, NASCL, and #the15 were used in this column. The morning after blues from my head down to my shoes.

Is Barstool Sportsbook offering an O/U on when Portnoy gets indicted for something?

A bad week last week for Astros.

That’s a right spiffy new logo you got, Revolution.

‘Mac Jones’s favorite Entitled Town co-host is Dave Brown.’ – Adam Archuleta

NE isn’t winning the OBJ Sweepstakes because of YOU.

With the $2.10 you won betting a dollar Kirk would wind up in the laughing acadamy again over this, you would still need 30 cents to ride the commuter rail for one fare zone.

Henry Ruggs thought the Atlanta Braves parade bus was travelling too fast.

Despite how you feel about the virus, vaccine, any of it, Joe Rohan is one of the most informed people on this rock.

Pasta is a good kid assisting on goals and such.

Cakes are cooking for Keith Lockhart, Kenny Rogers, Vanessa Angel, Lissa Maria Sneck, Ed Ward, and Warren G.

You want me for feel bad for Brian Burns and Cassius Marsh? In the same week?

Frank Gore is a boxer now. His first fight was just announced, against former NBA star Deron Williams.

The Celtics haven’t won a home game yet? I hope that changes tonight.

Why is Vikings fan Mike Florio so worked up over the NFL going easy on Aaron Rodgers? Oh, now I hear it.

Spulpits are gonna Spulpit. SMDH.

Hey Gang, this week’s Phrase that pays is “They’re gonna get the big sads and you’re fucked.”

Mixing cabbage and collard greens together is powerful.

In a 60-game stretch in 1969, Rico Petrocelli his .335 with 21 homers, and more than twice as many walks as strikeouts, 1.204 OPS. In a 60-game stretch beginning later in the season, carrying into 1970, he hit .229 with an OPS of .677.

I forgot to mention. . .twice as many strikeouts as walks in the second 60-game streak.

RIP, Peter Scolari! According to Adam Archuleta, you were America’s favorite Bosom Buddy.

Fought back against offseason depression today and took a shower.

They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating
And from what I’ve seen I believe ’em
Now the old boy may be barely breathing
But the heart of rock and roll
Heart of rock and roll is still beating.

Aaron Rodgers fined $14,650? That’s like half the amount of an equipment violation fine! Unbelevable.

Green Line Update: Shuttle buses will replace B Branch service between Kenmore and Babcock St, today and tomorrow, Nov 10 – 11, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service.

Tuukka spotted at WARRIOR Ice Arena?

Travis Scott crushes it live!

LL Bean? Get out your credit card or a whole wad of cash for that stuff!

Bigt decisions ahead for the UMass football program.

Adam Archuleta says that America’s favorite Halloween candy are NECCO Wafers.

Honk if you remember Major Mudd.

What’s the name of that singer from the Ting Ting’s again?

I hope Schwarbsy comes back.

Best bet for the weekend: Patriots playing their injury information cards close to the vest.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and #the15 were used in this column. Elvis has left the building.

Commissioner Goodell isn’t as unaccountable as an ordinary MLB umpire is.

A tie is as good as a draw, Revs.

Did the NHL schedule makers think the Ringling Brothers Circus was in town?

Thankfully it’s still baseball season, so these football losses doesn’t count yet. Whew!

For all you fans of the orange leather, as we embark on another NBA season, be sure to throw “Cattles On Causeway” a twitter follow. @CausewayPodcast

You can’t complain about about the refs when Mac Jones only goes two-point-two innings!

The on the PUP thus ineliglble to play malingering malcontent cornerback would have saved the game, caller.

Can they finally arrest Pete Rose now for killing Ray Fosse?

We’re hearing a certain pizza heir is single!

Cakes are cooking for Dave Krieg, Razor Ramon, Billy Zabka, Chantel Tremitiere, John Krasinski, and Candice Swanepoel.

A Touch & Rich syndication deal? Zoinks!

I for one can’t believe Hank Steinbrenner is just sitting there and letting this happen to his team!

Here for the trade convention?

Essentially: Baker Mayfield still has a chance to play the following week. But Sunday to Thursday was just too fast. Now he’ll focus on rehab and tightening up the shoulder.

Jerry Thornton still cares more than YOU.

Hey NBC Sports Boston, as the great Bob Ryan once said, what’s the fascination with Chris Forsberg?

Green Line Reminder: Shuttle buses replace B Branch service between Kenmore and Babcock St, Mon – Thurs, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service. Also: Shuttle buses replace D Branch service between Brookline Village and Riverside, Mon – Thurs, beginning at 8:45 PM through the end of service. More: http://MBTA.com/alerts/subway

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Sure it was a bad call BUT…”

UConn football with the dub!

Well, you can make a big impression or go through life unseen
You might wind up restricted and over seventeen
It’s so hard to be careful, so easy to be led
Somewhere beyond the pavement, you’ll find the living dead

We’re all behind you, Anita. So to speak.

Media superstardom still somehow eludes Owen Pence.

Puppet Show
and
Chicago Sky Victory Parade

Tampa Lightning placed Nikita Kucherov on Long Term Injured Reserve today. The move gives Tampa Bay an additional $9,500,000 in their LTI Salary Relief pool.

What are the Boston Mayoral candidates stances on dog racing?

Do you think imposter syndrome (fake dynasty variant) contributed to Lane Johnson’s depression?

No one chuckles like Gene Hackman.

Please do not explain a baseball game to me that I literally just watched live at Fenway!

Ben Volin’s ‘Lets go Barves’ has the cadence of an inside joke. Sorrey!

Honk if you remember when Dan Shaughnessy was still selling ‘The Curse of Babe Ruth’ books.

This upcoming week, I’ll be investing in @iluvtacos0822‘s OnlyFans.

I may have my facts wrong, but I don’t think the Red Sox have lost an ALCS since the time the ‘chicken & waffles’ scandal led to John Farrell resigning back in 2015.

Frank Caliendo? He’s no Rich Little.

All pretend business owners should rent office space for a month. Think of the selfie opportunities!

Nothing says “sports gambling” like Patton Oswalt.

Maybe don’t be a junkie?

See, it’s funny because he’s not from Waltham but Carrabis is pretending he is. Buy a $35 T-shirt.

Cam is now vaccinated. Good job. Good effort.

Can you believe how out of touch college football twitter is? Going crazy about some no-defense game between two random teams, Texas and Oklahoma, while ignoring the tense Harvard-Cornell game, where Harvard’s undefeated season is on the line.

This postseason really has been an Earl Weaver wet dream.

Best Bet for the weekend: bringing two sweaters to The Head of the Charles Regatta; one to wear, and another to tie loosely around your neck.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill Kristol, BSMW poster Irregular Brian and #the15 were used in this column. Better not forget it on your shopping list –
You can stop and buy one, it’s The Wilbury Twist.

(Publishing note: there was a Monday holiday, but the woke counter-holiday cancels that out. Usual schedule prevails. )

The NE Revolution is clearly quitely inspiring the other local squadrons. And maybe some Marathon participants, too.

It’s like his father who is the district attorney said: You can’t script October.

New England Patriots with the same record as the sure-to-go-undefeated Kansas City Chiefs. Season back on.

Kevin Kiermaier only likes white rappers.

And that, is why you always DESTROY your cellphone rather than turn it over to the League.

Good job, UMass. Good effort, UConn.

Baseball writers: enforce the unwritten rules, but don’t follow the written rules.

Kyrie. MAGA folk hero. And still not our problem anymore.

Cakes are cooking for Jerry Trupiano, Kate Walsh, Summer Sanders, Ed Ellis, Paul Pierce, and Jimin.

I bet Dean Wormer knows how many people cared that Dan Shaughnessy’s streak of covering Red Sox playoff games in person ended last week.

I guess Coach Flores didn’t have institutional knowledge about Tom Brady. Sad.

Hazel Mae? Yes, yes she may. She may indeed.

If the SF Giants didn’t want insensitive jokes about their GM’s name then they shouldn’t have hired a terrorist. What?

Smoltz is no Glavine.

Hey there Gang participating in a coordinated effort to pump the tires of a rookie QB who has been good in five games and start fitting him for a red jacket or is it a gold one? This week’s Phrase that Pays is “an incurable case of bobo-ism.”

Frank Caliendo; meet Vaughn Meader.

Courtney Vandersloot. What are you gonna do? Tough series loss, Connecticut Sun.

Saddest Marathon Day ever.

I wish I could bet on the Glazers never having had a black friend. Thanks a lot, Senate President Karen E. Spilka!

Chaim. Owning. Or perhaps leasing at a very favorable rate.

Orange Line Update: Trains are returning to regularly scheduled service.

John Cusack! A different Barstool Dave!! Craig Calaterra!!!

Mina Kimes cares more than you do.

“Intellectually, we baseball media types are a breed apart.” “What the fuck is a ground rule double?” Same people.

Congrats on the Training Camp sex, Stihdsy.

Well, we were just another band out of Boston
On the road and tryin’ to make ends meet
Playin’ all the bars, sleepin’ in our cars
And we practiced right on out in the street
No, we didn’t have much money
We barely made enough to survive
But when we got up on stage and got ready to play, people came alive

Rock and roll band, everybody’s waitin’
Gettin’ crazy, anticipatin’
Love, and music, play, play, play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Dancin’ in the streets of Hyannis
We were getting pretty good at the game
People stood in line and didn’t seem to mind
You know everybody knew our name
Livin’ on rock and roll music
Never worried ’bout the things we were missin’
When we got up on stage and got ready to play, everybody’d listen

Rock and roll band, everybody’s waitin’
Gettin’ crazy, anticipatin’
Love, and music, play, play, play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Playin’ for week in Rhode Island
A man came to the stage one night
He smoked a big cigar
Drove a Cadillac car and said
“Boys, I think this band’s outtasight
Sign a record company contract!
You know I’ve got great expectations!
When I hear you on the car radio
You’re gonna be a sensation!”

Rock and roll band, everybody’s waitin’
Gettin’ crazy, anticipatin’
Love, and music, play, play, play, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

It was recently pointed out that we lost both Fred Travalena and Danny Gans in the same year, 2009.

Maybe the four backup O linemen should be the starters?

Fun Fact: Incredibly, Back to the Future 2 correctly predicted the Vegas Golden Knights would defeat the Seattle Kraken 4-3!

Ain’t no beaches in Brockton.

Shawn Crable’s Dream Journal > Mac Jones’s Improvement Journal.

The Rays champagne order can join the 1969 Lakers balloons now, I guess.

Glad that Lori Loughlin is returing to TV as Abigail Stanton.

Veteran CB Corn Elder was signed to Washington Football team active roster off the #Panthers practice squad, per agent @agentbutler1 of @agency1amg.

Honk if you remember Walt Hriniak.

Gruden wasn’t and isn’t wrong about Goodell.

News Item: Springfield Thunderbirds return to the ice at the MassMutual Center Saturday.

So it’s Houston as the ALCS opponent then? Lousy cheaters.

Scott Zolak is demonstrably terrible at his job as a color commentator.

Jim Kaat. 40 acres and a jadrool.

Mention TurtleCunt, Kirkie you coward!

This Mac Jones credit cake tastes terrible. And such small portions!

That YouTube home run ball poacher weirdo is going to beaten up real bad someday.

The only Ray I ever found likeable was Ray Goulding.

Did YOU Respect the Art today?

Best bet for the weekend: It’s called Bruins.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Those who wish to remain anonymous and #the15 were used in this column. Cool the Engines. Cool the Engines Down.

Can one claim a moral victory from a loss that meant Coach Bill can’t call himself the Owl any longer?

But, but the evening lottery number was 1-9-7-8! Poor, irrelevant Dan.

Go look up Floyd Giebel and get back to me.

Dondero, who nobody normally reacts to, opining about the art of entertaining, is fucking entertaining. A paradox.

It’s almost like Gilmore was malingering. Aloha, Stephon.

It’s also preseason for those crying about preseason NHL officials.

Get (h)er, Urb!

Cakes are cooking for Elisabeth Shue, J.J. Stokes, Rebecca Lobo, Richard Seymour, Daniel Brière, and Addison Rae.

Johnny Lawrence is going to be good once he gets rid of the hardo High School head coach.

JD Martinez sprained his ankle tripping over a base? Only in baseball.

Bubba Wallace winning at Talladega was even more impressive considering he was pulled over three times by the police during the race.

Please bring Bucky Dent to every game against the Red Sox, NYY.

Produce jockeys are now trying to denigrate Super Bowl rings and Hall of Fame gameplans. Technology was a mistake. All of it.

Is there minor league professional lacrosse?

Hitting range balls before a charity scramble is a clown move.

It’s always funny to me when the pregame show has to hype up NFL games for two hours and then has to be throw in the “stay tuned to ESPN for some great WNBA action!”

Schefty breaking out the MAN WALKS ON MOON headline font for the SHOCKING release of Gilmore. FFS.

Ha! You call that a turnip?

Good luck to the talented and delightful Katie Nolan on her next project which I will never watch or listen to.

Imagine paying for a $28 shirt in 4 monthly payments.

The 15: sex positive.

Hey gang of enjourtainerulists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Respect the art.”

Who knew paying Steve Buckley to watch Leo Durocher on The Munsters wasn’t a viable business model?

I drink a lot
I get naked a lot
I like man coverage for my Defense
I keep it simple and I let the Players Play

That halftime show is going to cure racism. You watch.

Blue Line Update: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to an earlier signal problem at Orient Heights.

Rehab worked fine for me, but I didn’t spend the whole time arguing with everyone there about the illuminati.

Kyrie. Not our problem.

Marisa Ingemi only got another beat writing job because the league expanded, caller.

Arcand looks like the 3rd runner up in a Jason Segel lookalike contest.

Oh remember my darling
When spring is in the air.
And the bald headed birds
Are whisp’ring ev’rywhere.
You can see them walking
Southward in their dirty underwear.
That’s Tennessee Bird walk.

Gotta win this one, Connecticut Sun.

What’s this about Pandora Peaks being back in the news?

Panthers GM Scott Fitterer has already made 8 trades in his first year on the job: Traded away: QB Teddy Bridgewater, OT Greg Little, LB Denzel Perryman, Traded for: QB Sam Darnold, CB Stephon Gilmore, CB CJ Henderson, DE Darryl Green, K Ryan Santoso. Wheeling and dealing.

Somebody primary challenge Spilka. Please. I wanna bet on sports in the Commonwealth!

Fandom = delusion. That’s why I don’t consider myself a fan. I’m simply an educated observer who prefers one particular outcome over the other. If you’re not hating the teams you root for 90% of the time, you’re doing it wrong.

Honk if you remember Garber’s Gorillas.

Really though; doinking the upright should be worth 4 points.

Now which one is Vanessa Carlton and which one is Michelle Branch?

I don’t think that crowd was chanting ‘Let’s go, Brandon!”

The Ringer has recorded TWO separate podcasts in which some white dudes gather to rewatch The Depahded, yet not a single iota of WNBA content in sight … at least be original in your brazen disrespect!

This has to be one of the greatest Red Sox teams of the Covid Era.

The joke’s on the Athletic; Buckley purchased an entire bolt of vintage uniform flannel at the linen auction!

Where was the Fake Spike King with the Gilmore scoop?

Best bet for the weekend: Sale. Owning.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Hacksaw and #the15 were used in this column