11/24/2021 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Matt Ryan sack takes Atlanta out of field goal range.

Usually you need a Corleone family christening for things to get worked out like they did for New England on Sunday.

Sometimes you just have to tip your touk to a team, well played, Calgary.

Impeccable sources tell me the Red Sox are in on every single available free agent starting pitcher.

Was that Monday Night Football or an infomercial for “Man In The Arena”?

What’s wrong about the Celtics can be fixed by what’s right about the Celtics.

Do they save Kirk some dark thoughts meat at the laughing academy Thanksgiving feast?

That Kid Rock video looks like a Law & Order in-show production as part of a rebellious teen crime wave storyline.

Cakes are cooking for Doug Brien, Stephen Merchant, Katherine Heigl, and Johnny Exantus.

Giardi is ‘bitchy waiter’ gay, not ‘redesign your kitchen’ gay.

You know if you put a tomahawk steak in front of me I’m gonna eat the whole damn thing.

Airheads are the Richard Deitsch of candy.

A surprise: The #Texans are cutting RB Phillip Lindsay, source said. He heads to waivers.

Colin Cowherd thought Marino, Moon, and Favre were #1 picks? What?

The tryptophan in turkey makes me sleepier than a high school girl at Dave Portnoy’s house.

Matt Judon: known for his red sleeves. Bill Belichick: known for cutting the sleeves off sweatshirts. They complete each other.

The annual Gerry Callahan Thanksgiving football column is just as bad as the WKRP episode is. Cry.

An exorbitant amount of packing peanuts? That’s what you call a value-add.

Hey F-stop Gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “This tree looks like a cute lil broccoli!”

Sleeping for 6 hours during the day is not a ‘nap.’ It’s a cry for help.

I was listening to the Bills radio broadcast whilst doing yard work. Holy crap those guys are positive about their team. They didn’t point out any uncalled penalties on the Bills, didn’t crap on any of the players, never gave up hope (way past when they should have). They did have the big sads though.

No one believes you about Peng Shuai, CCP.

Green Line B Branch Update: Regularly scheduled service has resumed.

Why couldn’t Freddie Mercury have contracted that Magic Johnson fake AIDs strain?

Titans’ playmakers clearly want the smoke.

Isn’t Suzy Kolber a little old to be dressing like David Coverdale?

theThe Republic of Cambridge

Mopey Tom had a depression lamp in 2019 but Gisele turned it off to save the rainforest.

Hey, is lookalike Best Friend Sixto also on this year’s Baseball Hall of Fame ballot?

Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties, oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls, they’ll be riding today
So look out for those beauties, oh yeah

On your marks, get set, go!

Not many things I enjoy less than trying to pry open the little plastic bags you put produce in at the grocery store.

Bishop Hendrickson football is a cute, fun story, but they are no undefeated 1969 Medfield squad.

Honk if you remember Betty and Barney Hill.

Like I said; AMA Artists of the Year BTS.

There are not enough coffee table books in America to display all of the coffee table baseball books that get published.

Giblets!

Bob Murchison can’t stop the Herald from running Gerry’s column. Can he? Has he tried?

UMass Hoops lost to an Ivy?

Best bet for the weekend: Daniel Craig sheepishly announcing it.

Plymouth Rock (shown actual size)

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Facebook, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, BSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. Radio what’s new? Radio, someone still love you!

Norma. Jean. Baker. & Thomas. Gordon. Turkey. Have a Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.

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