The Immaculate Grid, Boston sports media edition.
For this grid, current newspaper employees and Patriots players and staff only. There may only be one answer, and you can’t use anyone more than once. The15 merch prize giveaways will continue until morale improves.
Big Black Cats has no luck Thurrsday. Tough for them, not so much for me.
SUNDAY BREAKFASTTIME
Colts (-1.5) at Patriots
Pats are undefeated in games played outside the USA. That will continue.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
Browns at Ravens (-6)
Evil Black Birds too tough at their home rookery.
Texans at Bengals (-6.5)
Stripey Cats have no natural fear of Texans. They win.
49ers (-3) at Jaguars
Spotted Cats have no use for gold, silly Prospectors and Brock Purrrdy. Jaguars win.
Saints (-2.5) at Vikings
Saint Gertrude of Nivelles is the patron saint of cats. But the Vikings will make with the marauding.
Packers at Steelers (-3)
What a great game! Thirty years ago. Steelers prevail.
Titans at Buccaneers (-1)
Real Stoppable Force meets Movable Object energy here. Go Tits!
SUNDAY SUNDOWN
Falcons (-1.5) at Cardinals
Raptor versus Pretty Bird. Falcons pull out a needed win on the road.
Lions (-3) at Chargers
Prediction: Pumas pummel Plugs.
Giants at Cowboys (-16.5).
Fewer people will watch Dallas demolish the Pituitaries than watched the “Who Shot J,R.?” episode
Commanders at Seahawks (-6)
Last week was the Commanders Super Bowl. False Seabirds win.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Jets (-1) at Raiders
This game, this will be the tie. I’m sure of it.
MONDAY NIGHT
Broncos at Bills (-7.5)
A loss would put the Bills at .500. But they will win.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
First off, I did not make that Thursday pick. Only an idiot would bet against the Steelers at home. Someone is going to pay.
SUNDAY SECOND BREAKFASTTIME
Dolphins at Chiefs (-1.5)
Porps haven’t beaten a good team yet. Chiefs are good. Figure it out.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
Vikings at Falcons (-4.5)
4-4 vs 4-4. Fine. THIS game will be the tie.
Seahawks at Ravens (-6)
Evil black birds take down the false seabirds.
Cardinals at Browns (-8)
Trickester Browns pull one over on the pretty birds.
Rams at Packers (-3.5)
A hot seat sounds like a lovely place to take a nap. Rams win.
Buccaneers at Texans (-2.5)
Texas has wildcats. Works for me. Houston will not have a problem.
Commanders at Patriots (-3)
The path to 6-6 starts by landing on your paws. Pats get the necessary win.
Bears at Saints (-8.5)
The 1982 movie ‘Cat People’ took place in New Orleans. Saints win.
SUNDAY SUNDOWN
Colts (-3) at Panthers
Big black cats get the post Halloween bounce.
Giants at Raiders (-1.5)
Giants show Vegas it wasn’t all on McDaniels.
Cowboys at Eagles (-3)
Do the NFC East teams play each other three times a season? Feels that way. Eagles prevail.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Bills at Bengals (-2)
Stripey cats win, unless Buffalo convinces the league to move the game to a neutral site.
MONDAY NIGHT
Chargers (-3.5) at Jets
Prediction: Plugs pound Planes.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
hello again humans. i am the cat. i pick the football games.
Titans at Steelers (-3)
bet heavy on double t team. steelers not strong like steel robot, more like flimsy robot vacuum cleaner!
more pick later cat need nap now. me so lazy!
me football cat.
No byes this week. Just games. Let’s go:
THURRSDAY NIGHT:
Buccaneers at Bills (-9)
Way to win but not cover, Bisons.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME:
Texans (-3) at Panthers
Did the Big Black Cats break a mirror and earn six games of bad luck? If so, that continues to seven.
Rams at Cowboys (-6)
Pokes too tough at home for the Rams.
Vikings (-1) at Packers
Vikings liked having cats. This cat picks the Vikes.
Saints (-1) at Colts
Two teams of indoor cats. Sad. Go Horse, I guess.
Patriots at Dolphins (-9.5)
Pats need this win more than the Porps do. Porps prevail.
Jets (-3) at Giants
Imagine the indignity of having to use the visiting locker room in your own facility? Giants win.
Jaguars (-2.5) at Steelers
Jacksonville continues to roll.
Falcons (-3) at Titans
Tians in the Oilers throwbacks. Oil prospectors are wildcatters. Good enough to beat a bird team.
Eagles (-6.5) at Commanders
Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Commandindians win.
SUNDAY SUNDOWN:
Browns at Seahawks (-4)
False Birds ekes out a home win.
Ravens (-8) at Cardinals
Evil Black Birds vs Pretty Birds? Quoth the Football Cat, Ravens.
Chiefs (-7) at Broncos
Broncos can’t beat zebras and Chiefs.
Bengals at 49ers (-3.5)
Stripey cats have had plenty of rest, like all cats like. So they win. Sorry Purrrdy.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME:
Bears at Chargers (-8.5)
Plugs electrocute the Poohs. Then drive them via La Cienega Boulevard to the La Brea Tar pits to dispose of the carcass.
MONDAY NIGHT:
Raiders at Lions (-8)
Raiders logo may want to put a patch over the other eye to avoid watching this feline beatdown in Motown.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
THURRSDAY NIGHT:
Jaguars at Saints (-1)
You bet on the cat team, right? Good.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME:
Lions at Ravens (-3)
If the evil birds win, it’s due to Halloween trickery.
Raiders (-3) at Bears
I could be convinced to take the Raiders in this game.
Browns (-2.5) at Colts
Cleveland’s fans call themselves the Dawg Pound, but a Brownie is a smallish, mischief-making creature? Say no more!
Bills (-9) at Patriots
Coach Bill needed a cat making his draft picks, not a weird little dog. Bills win.
Commanders (-2.5) at Giants
A hairball of a matchup. Giants.
Falcons at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Same thing. Fruity pirates prevail.
SUNDAY SUNDOWN:
Steelers at Rams (-3)
I could knock so many more things off shelves and tables if I had horns like a ram. They win.
Cardinals at Seahawks (-7.5)
If a Seahawk was a real bird, it would outclass a Cardinal. That’s the expected result here as well.
Packers (-1) at Broncos
There’s usually a tie every season. I say it’s this game.
Chargers at Chiefs (-5.5)
Do the Chiefs play ALL their games at home? Chefs win.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME:
Dolphins at Eagles (-2.5)
Porps become Eagle Snacks.
MONDAY NIGHT:
49ers (-7) at Vikings
Prospectors prevail over the Purps.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
(Please disregard the previous post. Football Cat did not submit that post. Football Cat was hacked, and the culprit when found will face the Claws of Death.)
THURRSDAY NIGHT
Broncos at Chiefs (-10.5) The Swifties roll on, capping off the greatest three weeks of movie promotion ever.
SUNDAY SUNRISE
Ravens at Titans (+4) The evil birds win and automatically advance to the fourth round of the FA Cup.
SUNDAY FAMILY FUNTIME
Commanders at Falcons (-2.5) Another win for a bird team, but the real choice here is apple picking.
Vikings at Bears (+2.5) If you’re anti-fun go with Da Bears, otherwise head to a corn maze for three hours.
Seahawks at Bengals (-2.5) Cats over birds, always and forever.
49ers at Browns (+7) Purrrrdy drops the Browns in the litterbox
Saints at Texans (+1.5) The Texans shut out the Saints just to rile up the Patriots pregamers.
Colts at Jaguars (-4) The Jags spent too much getting reacquainted with their loved ones this week. Colts take advantage of the weak-legged cats.
Panthers at Dolphins (-13.5) Tua and the Tunas hit the over before halftime.
SUNDAY SUNDOWN
Patriots at Raiders (-3) The Patriots win and their fanz immediately start complaining about it harming their 2024 draft position.
Lions at Buccaneers (+3) The big cats feast on zesty pirate kneecaps.
Cardinals at Rams (-7) The loser has to move back to St. Louis, and I’m not sure who is more upset about that, the people in Missouri or Arizona.
Eagles at Jets (+7) Jets retake their rightful place in the basement of the AFC East.
SUNDAY NIGHT
Giants at Bills (-14) I thought the teams playing in London didn’t automatically get a bye the following week?
MONDAY NIGHT
Cowboys at Chargers (+2.5) The Plugs zap the Pokes.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Tea and crumpets game:
Jaguars at Bills (-5.5)
Spotted cats stayed in England after playing there week 4. Won’t matter. Bisons win.
Lunchtime Games:
Texans at Falcons (-2)
C.J. Stroud wins this one as a late birthday gift to himself.
Panthers at Lions (-10)
Lions win this big cat fight.
Titans (-1.5) at Colts
Titans are due. Right?
Giants at Dolphins (-11)
Phins phind a way to win.
Saints at Patriots (-1)
New England wins the rock-booth, tractor-fight, phone-pull game.
Ravens (-4) at Steelers
Supper Games – we will get to these later. Naptime.
Update:
Bengals (-3) at Cardinals
A desperate tiger is a dangerous tiger. Cincinnati wins.
Eagles (-4.5) at Rams
Keep watching these birds until they lose.
Jets at Broncos (-1.5)
Someone is leaving with a win. Unless they tie. So Denver, I suppose.
Chiefs (-4.5) at Vikings
Two teams going in different directions.
Late night snack game:
Cowboys at 49ers (-3.5)
Pokes are a wagon, bro.
Monday Game:
Packers (-1) at Raiders
A desperate one-eyed pirate in a maskless helmet is a dangerous one-eyed pirate in a maskless helmet. Da Raiders win.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
It’s Thurrsday again! Gonna pick the one game tonight. Hope you big dumb humans can figure out meow to watch the game! Right, Zo?
Bears at (-6) Commanders
If I remember my Jungle Book correctly, cats and bears don’t get along very well. Plus the Bears stink and have to travel on a short week. So the Commandos win.
I’ll get to the rest of the picks later. Miao for now!
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
I’ve had a long week of eating and napping, so let’s get these contractually obligated picks out of the way so I can get back to eating and napping…
While you were sleeping:
Lions (-1.5) at Packers
It was so obvious I was going to pick the big cats last night that it wasn’t worth my precious time to let you know.
Sunday brunch time:
Falcons at Jaguars (-3)
Always go with cats over birds.
Sunday lunch time:
Dolphins at Bills (-2.5)
Did you know that Tua’s full name is Tuanigamanuolepola Donny Tagovailoa? Someone in that family was really hoping he’d go by Donny. Donny wins again.
Vikings (-4.5) at Panthers
Always go with winless cats over winless marauding Norsemen.
Broncos (-3.5) at Bears
The Broncos lose again but hold the Bears to under 70. Baby steps.
Ravens at Browns (-3)
Always go with a predator (even a sexual predator) over birds.
Steelers (-2.5) at Texans
After the Texans win, have a drink every time someone from the Steelers reminds you that they aren’t using their team plane’s emergency landing as an excuse.
Rams (-1) at Colts
I took 3 naps just thinking about this game. Go horszzzzzz!
Buccaneers at Saints (-3)
Fun fact: Much like Atlantis, Tampa Bay doesn’t exist as a physical location on land. The mermen win.
Commanders at Eagles (-8)
I hate picking a bird team, but I refuse to root for commies.
Bengals (-2.5) at Titans
Cats over tits, but I do love looking at tits. (Tits the bird, you perverts).
Sunday dinner time:
Raiders at Chargers (-5.5)
Sounds like Chandler Jones got some bad catnip – thoughts and prayers. Chargers beat a distracted Raiders team.
Patriots at Cowboys (-6.5)
Mac Jones has such a penchant for crotch shots that he must be part cat. Pats over Pokes.
Cardinals at 49ers (-14)
Always go with Brock Purrrdy over birds.
Sunday nighttime snack:
Chiefs (-9.5) at Jets
Taylor Swift loves cats, and nobody likes the Jets.
Monday:
Seahawks at Giants (-1)
Take the men with overactive pituitary glands.
Just a reminder that Week 4 of the NFL season kickoffs off my birthday month. How about some gratitude for all this free gambling advice? Look for me on CashApp.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The 15 