Here are the Region N and Region T matches for today, polls will remain open until 12:30 AM EDT Friday the 15th. Vote your heart.
(Ahem) If you have been enjoying opening round of this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating out local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Thanks for reading.
(Clears throat) If you have been enjoying the run up to this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating out local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Thanks for reading.
Robert and Jonathan Kraft are fully committed to easing the tensions and atoning for the inhuman working conditions at Gillette Stadium under the Previous Regime That Shall Not Be Named.
The Kraft Family pulled out all the stops for Coach Mayo’s Patriots Media Happy Hour this week, bringing in one of the great singer/songwriters of all time to entertain their esteemed media guests: The Piano Man, Billy Joel.
William. Martin. Joel.
It’s nine o’clock at Media Day
The regular slobs shuffle in
Krafty Bob’s seated next to me
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin
Here’s to metal benches and custodians!
He says, “Son, can you play me a memory?
I’m not really sure how it goes
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
When I was paying Bledsoe through the nose.”
Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da
La-la di-di-da, da-dum
“Remember when is the lowest form of conversation.”
Sing us a song, Mr. Charlatan
Sing us a song tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for some tummy rubs
And you’ve got us feelin’ all right
Now,Tom E. at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He said, “Phil, I believe this is killing me,”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well, I’m sure I could nab Ian Rapoport’s job
If I could get out of this place.”
Think again, Joyboy.
Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da
La-la di-di-da, da-dum
Simple Ben is an idiot columnist
With a mail-order bride for a wife
And he’s talking with Dumb Andy
Who’s still on the JV
And probably will be for life
Actual size.
And Coach Mayo is practicing politics
While the mediots slowly get stoned
Yes, they’re sharing a drink called incompetence
But it’s better than drinking alone
Suck up to us, Mr. Charlatan
Suck up to us tonight
Well, we don’t really care if you win a game
As long as you serve us Bud Light
Stacey James, not #OOTG.
It’s a pretty good crowd for media day And Stacey James gives me a smile ‘Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see To forget about Bill for a while
Ben McAdoo thinks it’s a carnival And Van Pelt, he drinks all the beer And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar And say, “Man, thank god that you’re here.”
Patrick Mahomes has more lives than a cat, but I can’t pick against Brock Purrrdy. Competent game management wins Soupeys. So there.
My SB MVP Pick? former Panther Christian McCaffrey
Halftime performance cameo appearance with Usher? Doja Cat.
Best SB commercial: Hellmann’s ‘Mayo Cat’
Mayo Cat
Thanks to all the humans who assisted in me making my picks this year. Except when they steered me into the wrong team. Hiss! Let’s do this next season! Unless I don’t want to.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Football Cat has graciously agreed to work the playoffs after very successful regular season. And so:
SATURDAY SUNSET
Browns (-2.5) at Texans
Tricksters versus wildcatters. ‘Stroud’ sounds like a cat warning growl, ‘Flacco’ sounds like one coughing up a hairball. Texans win.
SATURDAY PROWLTIME
Dolphins at Chiefs (-4.5)
Stupidly cold weather favors neither team. So playoff experience wins out. Kansas City gets the W.
If there are any other cheapskates interested in watching the Chiefs-Dolphins game you can get Peacock for free if you sign up for a free 2 week trial of Instacart+ (whatver that is). You don’t need to give them any real info, I just signed up with my burner email address and a fake name; I used’Morris Katz.’
SUNDAY SUNSET
Packers at Cowboys (-7.5)
Cows undefeated at home. Will that matter? Of course it will! Big D big W.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Rams at Lions (-3)
Sorry Shovey Sheep, but this is the only cat team in the playoffs. I’m going to be parochial.
MONDAY SUNSET
Steelers at Bills (-10)
Bisons don’t deserve to win after getting the game moved because of snow. But deserve got nothing to do with it.
Snow Cat. See what I did there?
MONDAY PROWLTIME
Eagles (-3) at Buccaneers
Buccaneers have momentum, Philly does not. The Pewter Privateers win at home.
Egads.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Lots of teams resting starters in advance of the playoffs this week. I can understand that.
SATURDAY SUNSET
Steelers (-4) at Ravens
Will the Evil Birds take the gaspipe in the hopes the spirits conspire to keep Buffalo out of the ‘yoffs? Yes.
SATURDAY PROWLTIME
Texans (-1) at Colts
Wildcat Texans round up the Little Horsies.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
Buccaneers (-4.5) at Panthers
Bad year for the luckless Black Cats ends as it began.
Browns at Bengals (-7)
Stripey Cats are desperate, Browns have put the bag of tricks away until the playoffs. Cincy wins.
Vikings at Lions (-3.5)
Jungle Kings don’t want to go 3-3 in the division and won’t.
Jets at Patriots (-2)
Prediction: Pats Pirouette Past Planes
Falcons at Saints (-3)
The animals of God’s creation inhabit the skies, the earth, and the sea. They share in the ways of human beings. They have a part in our lives. Francis of Assisi recognized this when he called the animals, wild and tame, his brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, Saints win.
Jaguars (-5) at Titans
Spotted Cats disrespect the Titans.
Seahawks (-2.5) at Cardinals
Cardinals are real birds. Seahawks are not. Nevertheless, the False Birds win.
SUNDAY SUNSET
Bears at Packers (-3)
Da. Bears. Da Win.
Chiefs at Chargers (-3.5)
Chiefs win because of course they do.
Broncos at Raiders (-3)
This is the game that ends in a tie.
Eagles (-5) at Giants
Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Giants prove this in bad weather against the Phils.
Rams at 49ers (-4)
No Brock Purrdy, no matter? Not if the Shovey Sheep have anything to say about it. Rams win.
Cowboys (-4) at Commanders
Cowpokes want the #2 Seed. Won’t need much fancy ropin’ to get it.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Bills (-3) at Dolphins
Prediction: Payables Pork Porps.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The Immaculate Grid, Boston sports media edition will return with new grids after the Christmas and New Year’s Day holidays. Until then, enjoy the winners from weeks nine thru sixteen!
The 15 