Category Archives: NFL

Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks

Football Cat is rested and ready.

Wow. What a Thurrsday night beatdown. And then the bloodletting. Saturday games this weekend, too.

SATURDAY LUNCHTIME

Vikings at Bengals (-3)

Stripey Cats win streak runs to three games.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Colts (-1.5)

Go Horse? I guess.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Broncos at Lions (-4)

Broncos are hot. Won’t matter. Jungle king cats win.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Falcons (-3) at Panthers

Black Cats luckless streak ends. Sorry birdie.

Festive!

Bears at Browns (-3)

Trickster Browns and Joe Flacco. What a match! Cleveland wins.

Buccaneers at Packers (-3.5)

Prediction: Pack Pummels Pewts.

Jets at Dolphins (-8.5)

Prediction: Porps Plaster Planes

Fly you Dolphin, fly!

Chiefs (-7.5) at Patriots

Heart says Pats, head says Chiefs.

Giants at Saints (-5.5)

Francis of Assisi is the patron saint of Italy. Tommy DeVito and his agent are Italian. Won’t matter, Because St. Francis is also the patron of animals. Like me.

So good with the animals.

Texans at Titans (-3)

Houston’s old team edges Houston’s current team. Go Tits!

SUNDAY SUNSET

49ers (-12.5) at Cardinals

Prospectors and Purrdy too much for the Pretty Birds.

Commanders at Rams (-6.5)

Bighorn Sheepies win bigly.

Cowboys at Bills (-2)

Pokes paste Payables.

Gotcha, you ornery varmint, and things of that nature.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Ravens (-3) at Jaguars

Spotted Cats send the visiting Evil Birds back home as losers.

MONDAY NIGHT

Eagles (-4) at Seahawks

Fake Seabirds eke out a home win over the National Bird Team.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks

Football Cat is less than 100%, but is going to gut this one out.

Pats at Pittsburgh on Thurrsday, hope you knew what to do. Easy money.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Buccaneers at Falcons (-1)

Bucs vs. Birds. Shades of Coleridge’s The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Not really though. Falcons win.

Rams at Ravens (-7)

Wait, Evil Birds and potential bad weather? Maybe this is like the epic poem. Balmer wins.

Lions (-3.5) at Bears

The lion is the king of the jungle, the Lions are the kings of the NFC North.

Colts (-1) at Bengals

Nature is red in tooth and claw. Stripey cats take down the young horse team as in the wild.

Jaguars at Browns (-3.5)

Trickster Browns have the Kevin McCallister home advantage. They win.

Panthers at Saints (-5)

Cool jazz cats over the bad luck black cats, daddio.

Texans (-3.5) at Jets

The Planes get splashed like the Japanese Zeros in The Final Countdown.

A Tomcat Fighter Jet.

Later games to be added..later.

UPDATE:

And later is Now.

SUNDAY SUNDOWN

Vikings (-3) at Raiders

Purps at Plunds! Vikings win.

Seahawks at 49ers (-10.5)

Prospectors best the fake seabirds.

Bills at Chiefs (-1.5)

Bleah. Sick of both teams. Bisons, I guess.

Broncos at Chargers (-2.5)

Prediction: Plugs punk Ponies.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Eagles at Cowboys (-3.5)

Americas’s Team versus National Bird! Pokes win.

MONDAY NIGHT DOUBLE FEATURE

Titans at Dolphins (-13)

Porps remain a wagon, Tits might be azz. Sad.

Packers (-6.5) at Giants

The Packers power past the Pituitaries.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks

Football Cat knows coffee is for closers.



(Cowpokes won at home but didn’t cover against the fake seabirds Thurrsday.)

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Broncos at Texans (-3.5)

Wildcatters win.

Chargers (-5.5) at Patriots

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Zzapp!

Prediction: Plugs Paste Pats.

Lions (-4) at Saints

Lions are 12-13-1 all time versus the Saints. They get to .500 Sunday.

Falcons (-2.5) at Jets

Actual falcons are used to keep nuisance birds away from airports to reduce the risk of birdstrikes. Can I apply for that job? Atlanta wins.

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He sees you.

Cardinals at Steelers (-5.5)

Pretty birds no match for Pittsburgh at home.

Colts (-1) at Titans

This is a game Indy should win but won’t. Go Tits!

Dolphins (-9.5) at Commanders

Can you FedEx a porpoise? Dolphins win this winnable game.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Panthers at Buccaneers (-5)

Poor unlucky Blacks Cats. Not their year.

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Browns at Rams (-3.5)

Trickster Browns create mischief, win the matchup in LA.

49ers (-3) at Eagles

Prospectors prove too much for the national bird.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Chiefs (-6) at Packers

Mahomes leads the Chiefs to victory his first visit to the not yet frozen tundra of Lambeau Field.

MONDAY NIGHT

Bengals at Jaguars (-9)

An inter-cat matchup! Spots over stripes.

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How very ferocious of them.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 12 NFL Picks

Football Cat has room for more leftovers.

Lions played like they had a thorn in their paw. The other Thanksgiving favorites Cowboys and 49ers did their job and won.

BLACK FRIDAY

Dolphins (-10) at Jets

Porps are a wagon, bro.

Porp Wagon!

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Saints at Falcons (-1)

Prey birds at their home rookery? Doesn’t matter. Saints prayers are answered.

Steelers (-1) at Bengals

Burrow-less Stripey Cats win, and Pittsburgh can’t blame Canada.

Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans

Spotted Cats dash the hopes of Houstonians.

Buccaneers at Colts (-2.5)

How ’bout that Colts owner Norman Cass, Jr everybody? His stupid team wins.

The Coachman, he gets the reference.

Patriots (-3) at Giants

A bad team and an actively tanking team. Woof. Pats win.

Panthers at Titans (-3.5)

Sweater weather season for the Tits. W goes to them.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Rams (-1) at Cardinals

Pretty birds prove inadequate to the task of stopping the Rams.

Majestic. Magnificent. Mutton.

Browns at Broncos (-2.5)

Clevelanders not vexed by the altitude in Denver.

Chiefs (-8.5) at Raiders

Kansas City wins, but probably won’t cover.

Bills at Eagles (-3.5)

Desperate Payables eke out a win in the City of Brotherly Shove.

A lot going on here.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Ravens (-3.5) at Chargers

Prediction: Poes perplex Plugs.

CYBER MONDAY

Bears at Vikings (-3.5)

Hardy Minnesotans win this NFC North matchup.

Not not Vikings and Bears.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 11 NFL Picks

I would have probably picked the Stripey Cats for Thurrsday’s game. Good thing I didn’t make a pick. Hey Burrow, cats land on their feet, not on their wrists.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Cowboys (-10.5) at Panthers

Big Blacks Cats get their ninth loss. To correspond with the nine lives cats have.

Steelers at Browns (-1)

Trickster Browns edge their way by Pittsburgh.

Much better than a stupid ‘dawg’ mascot.

Bears at Lions (-7.5)

Lions too tough on their home field turf. Which just happens to be FieldTurf.

This might be Photoshopped.

Chargers (-3) at Packers

Tundra insufficiently frozen for the Pack to beat the Plugs.

Cardinals at Texans (-5)

Is Matt Houston on PlutoTV? Season 1 Episode 13 – The Purrfect Crime – When a cat food mogul is found mauled to death by a domesticated tiger, his four ex-wives retain Matt’s services so they can receive proceeds from the will. That sounds entertaining! The same can’t be said of this game, which the Texans will win.

L-R C.J. Parsons, Esq., Matlock ‘Matt’ Houston

Titans at Jaguars (-7)

Spotted Big Cats get over on Coach Vrabes squadron.

Raiders at Dolphins (-13.5)

Porps might not win by two touchdowns but will indeed win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Giants at Commanders (-9)

Not sure if any Giants QB can toss the pigskin over the Potomac. Washington all the way.

What a dignified feline.

Buccaneers at 49ers (-12)

The Bay Area is running out of sports teams. The Prospectors are staying, and winning.

Jets at Bills (-7)

Bills are the best.500 team in the league. Jets are aiming for .500. Bisons prevail.

Seahawks (-1) at Rams

False Seabirds and Horned Sheepies tie.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Vikings at Broncos (-2.5)

Vikings gonna Viking.

We come from the land of the ice and snow, From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow. The hammer of the gods.

MONDAY NIGHT

Eagles at Chiefs (-3)

Eagles get the unsatisfying ‘Super Bowl rematch during the regular season’ win.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks

The Patriots play when???

Big Black Cats has no luck Thurrsday. Tough for them, not so much for me.

SUNDAY BREAKFASTTIME

Colts (-1.5) at Patriots

Pats are undefeated in games played outside the USA. That will continue.

EM 50 Urban Assault Vehicle. Perfect for jaunts into and around Germany.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Browns at Ravens (-6)

Evil Black Birds too tough at their home rookery.

Texans at Bengals (-6.5)

Stripey Cats have no natural fear of Texans. They win.

49ers (-3) at Jaguars

Spotted Cats have no use for gold, silly Prospectors and Brock Purrrdy. Jaguars win.

Saints (-2.5) at Vikings

Saint Gertrude of Nivelles is the patron saint of cats. But the Vikings will make with the marauding.

Can’t say I’ve ever met a Gertrude.

Packers at Steelers (-3)

What a great game! Thirty years ago. Steelers prevail.

Titans at Buccaneers (-1)

Real Stoppable Force meets Movable Object energy here. Go Tits!

SUNDAY SUNDOWN

Falcons (-1.5) at Cardinals

Raptor versus Pretty Bird. Falcons pull out a needed win on the road.

Lions (-3) at Chargers

Prediction: Pumas pummel Plugs.

Giants at Cowboys (-16.5).

Fewer people will watch Dallas demolish the Pituitaries than watched the “Who Shot J,R.?” episode

Commanders at Seahawks (-6)

Last week was the Commanders Super Bowl. False Seabirds win.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Jets (-1) at Raiders

This game, this will be the tie. I’m sure of it.

Jets? Raiders? Vaught F6U Pirate! Not pretty. Much like how the game will be.

MONDAY NIGHT

Broncos at Bills (-7.5)

A loss would put the Bills at .500. But they will win.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 9 NFL Picks

NFL Football in Germany, Ja!

First off, I did not make that Thursday pick. Only an idiot would bet against the Steelers at home. Someone is going to pay.

SUNDAY SECOND BREAKFASTTIME

Dolphins at Chiefs (-1.5)

Porps haven’t beaten a good team yet. Chiefs are good. Figure it out.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Vikings at Falcons (-4.5)

4-4 vs 4-4. Fine. THIS game will be the tie.

Seahawks at Ravens (-6)

Evil black birds take down the false seabirds.

The Steller’s sea eagle kind of looks like a Seahawk. But it isn’t

Cardinals at Browns (-8)

Trickester Browns pull one over on the pretty birds.

Rams at Packers (-3.5)

A hot seat sounds like a lovely place to take a nap. Rams win.

Buccaneers at Texans (-2.5)

Texas has wildcats. Works for me. Houston will not have a problem.

Commanders at Patriots (-3)

The path to 6-6 starts by landing on your paws. Pats get the necessary win.

Bears at Saints (-8.5)

The 1982 movie ‘Cat People’ took place in New Orleans. Saints win.

Me-ow!

SUNDAY SUNDOWN

Colts (-3) at Panthers

Big black cats get the post Halloween bounce.

Giants at Raiders (-1.5)

Giants show Vegas it wasn’t all on McDaniels.

Cowboys at Eagles (-3)

Do the NFC East teams play each other three times a season? Feels that way. Eagles prevail.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Bills at Bengals (-2)

Stripey cats win, unless Buffalo convinces the league to move the game to a neutral site.

MONDAY NIGHT

Chargers (-3.5) at Jets

Prediction: Plugs pound Planes.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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