The 15

Sent to us from Patrick in Andover del Norte:

The biggest shocker in March Sadness history was Mike Kadlick taking down #1 seed Ted Johnson. Johnson was seen as a heavy favorite to take this year’s title, whereas Kadlick was viewed as either flotsam or jetsam, whichever is worse. Kadlick is complete dark horse. A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

Exactly who is Mike Kadlick? Let’s start with the basics, he is a Dedham High Graduate and can often be spotted at the Halfway Cafe. After high school, Mike matriculated at Worcester State University, graduating in 2019. While at WSU he was a quarterback on the football team. Opposing team’s scouting reports do not included any of the following words: fluid, hips, strong, arm, or good. During his senior year, he may have put up the most forgettable stat line at any level of college football: 49/115 (42.6%) 495 yards, 1 TD, 5 INT, 5 Sacks. Stats like that may look putrid, but they are still good enough to put Kadlick in the top 6 ex-athletes in local radio, behind Lifshatz, Meg-O, Wiggy, Fauria and Zolak.

After college he took a job writing at a fake media outlet, CLNS media, and now has moved on to write for a failing radio station, WEEI. The quality of his writing is equivalent to his quarterback play. He has a penchant to use lists as a crutch, he loves referencing and quoting other media outlet’s interviews, and includes way too many parenthetical stats. He writes worse than ChatGPT, but he probably works cheaper.. He has a pretty big Twitter following, over 11,000 pornbots. Certainly big enough to qualify him to appear on the “Bet with Josh Marion and Friends” podcast. I’m not a follower, but I did quickly glance through his timeline and it seems pretty benign. Mostly sports aggregation stuff, with a few normal shoepee comments from someone with dreams of working in the hot takez industry. Still nothing that can explain his stunning round 1 upset of Ted Johnson.

That left one last stone yet to be unturned. The “6 Rings Podcast”. Like most people, I have never listened to one second of this podcast. If you list “Fitzy” and “Jumbo” on the marquee of your podcast I’m avoiding it like the plague, but curiosity got the better of me and now I know why Kadlick is hated. His podcasts opinions are just a never-ending stream of contradictory nonsensical opinions, said with such conviction. The gist of it is “the Patriots have to make moves, and they better make the right moves, but you won’t be able to really tell in the short-term if these moves are the right moves, and they better make the moves mentioned in this podcast, which are obviously the right moves, unless they turn out not to be the right moves, but that is fine because speculation is what they have to do – ha, ha, ha, isn’t this funny.” Truly mind-numbing.

I don’t know if all these podcasts, are “live” shows on YouTube, but that seemed to be a big deal to Kadlick. He kept mentioning how many viewers they had, and to be fair, the numbers he quoted, over 5K, put Rich Keefe’s radio ratings to shame. I didn’t bother to check out the video version of the podcast, but I can’t imagine seeing the visage of Messrs. Hart, Stevens and Kadlick adds to the enjoyment. I recommend not listening to the podcast, but if you do, make sure it is at 1.75 speed – at least. That won’t improve the experience any, but it will get it over with quicker and save some of your brain cells.

So who is Mike Kadlick? He’s just another in a long line of millennials who think they can turn their sports fandom into a career. In short, he is a loser, but in March Sadness losers become winners. On to today’s picks…

Region C: Kevin Paul Dupont (6) vs Rich Keefe (11) Rich Teeth will continue to get more votes than he has listeners and move on to the Sour Sixteen. Trenni Casey (7) vs Chris Gasper (2) This should be a close call. You can’t underestimate how much the voters hate Trenni, even changing her last name couldn’t fool them. Kid Gas, always the Bridesmaid never the bride, may not even make it to the wedding party this year. The year of unexpected upsets continues as Mrs. Casey advances.

Region V: Dan Shaughnessy (6) vs Fred Toucher (3) Expect Toucher to win and claim The Jack Kevorkian Memorial Cup. Mike McCarthy (10) vs Dan Lifshatz (2) Lifshatz’s bankrollz McCarthy, and waddles on.

Region N: Mike Kadlick (16) vs Mark Dondero (8) Kadlick’s Cinderella run continues as he dominates a flailing and gesticulating Dondero. Karen Guregian (5) vs Gabby Starr (13) In today’s distaff contest, expect Gabs to win by a nose.

Region T: Tony Masserroti (1) vs Chris Curtis (9) A matchup of the two radio personalities recently suspended for casual racism last year. Mazz nips Curtis. Scott Zolak (4) vs Mark Daniels (5) It’s a “Sophie’s Choice” matchup for Jonathan Kraft. Daniels may have a pipeline to the front office, but Zolak ruins everything., The fireworks have been postponed again, Zo survives.

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.