Category Archives: Fun & Games

Football Cat’s Week 3 NFL Picks 2026

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There’s a storm brewin’

🚨 A Storm Team 15 Weather Alert! 🚨

If that crazy, fat, bald, old man who lives alone in his creepy basement apartment has seemed extra irritable lately, it’s not only because he’s been getting his teeth kicked in on Twitter every day (although that’s 99% of the reason). It’s also because his rheumatism is probably acting up due to the impending Nor’easter (that and his eleven meniscus surgeries).

Nor’easter Preparedness Tips:

  • Stock Up on the 4 B’s: Beer, Bread, Batteries and Beer
  • Secure the Exterior: Bring patio furniture, garbage cans, and any small children indoors
  • Protect Windows: Baseball season isn’t over, but it might be time to install the storm windows
  • Clear Drainage: Send your wife up the ladder to clean out the gutters and downspouts
  • Vehicle Prep: Keep your gas tank full. Remember, much like your beer fridge: “half full is empty”
  • Check on Your Elderly Neighbors: They may have some extra beer
Hang in there

Stay safe, keep your paws dry, and remember: if the house blows away, you still have eight lives left.

Sunday Lunch Time
Chargers at Bills (-7)
Bills short circuit Bolts

Panthers (-2.5) at Browns
Black cats poop out Brown turds

A Cleveland Steamer

Texans (-2.5) at Colts
Someone has to win, and Indy lost the coin flip

“What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”

Jets at Lions (-6.5)
Kings of Beasts feast fancy on Gino’s Jets

Patriots at Jaguars (-2.5)
Spotted cats pounce on Maye’s many mistakes

Picks + Fumbles = Pickles

Chiefs (-11.5) at Dolphins
Miami is definitely “Planning for Manning”©

Titans at Giants (-6)
Tits bounce G-Men

Titans

Bengals (-3.5) at Steelers
Stripey cats won’t be caged

He’ll rip your lungs out

Seahawks (-6.5) at Commanders
Fake Seabirds soar in the Swamp

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at 49ers (-8.5)
Purdy’s cats swallow pretty red birds

Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you

Vikings at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Bucs shake and bake the Norsemen

Raiders at Saints (-3)
Saints stay above the Mendoza line

Ravens (-3) at Cowboys (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
Pássaros pretos assustadores venceram os gauchos

Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?

Sunday Prowl Time
Rams (-2.5) at Broncos
Horny sheep thrive at elevation

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Bears (-3.5)
American Birds leave Bears bawling

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 2)

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Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

The cat won!

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)


Fun! Prizes!

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Panthers at Falcons

Vikings at Bears 

Bengals at Texans

Steelers at Patriots

Packers at Jets

Eagles at Titans

Saints at Ravens

Browns at Buccaneers 

Jaguars at Broncos

Raiders at Chargers

Seahawks at Cardinals

Commanders at Cowboys

Dolphins at 49ers

Colts at Chiefs

Giants at Rams (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t the way of your people, post them on the Twitter and our swell new batch of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

The cat is putting in the work, are you?

Football Cat’s Week 2 NFL Picks 2026

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Free what?

A statement for immediate release from New England Patriots and Gillette Stadium Owner Robert Kraft…


🚨 LOCAL MUSICIANS WANTED 🚨

Are you looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

Do you possess an instrument, a pulse, and absolutely zero financial ambitions?

Do you know how to keep your opinions to yourself?

Brilliant! Because we have the perfect opportunity for YOU! We are putting together a band to open for legendary singer songwriter and all around mensch, Mr. Ed Sheeran on September 25th and 26th. Our previously booked act, a highly unprofessional meshugener schmuck, tragically canceled on us. That putz’s loss is your golden opportunity!

What We Offer
Unparalleled Exposure: Play for a stadium full of people that was expecting someone else entirely!
The Thrill of the Rescue: Bask in the heroic glory of saving our event from absolute disaster.
Complimentary Air: Breathe all the ambient oxygen you want while on stage.
Free Refreshments: A half-empty cooler of lukewarm Gatorade awaits you backstage, plus one (1) complimentary bologna sandwich after your performance is complete. (NOTE: The sandwich will only be available on night two.)

What We Need
Anyone who can carry a tune, hold a beat, or at least look convincing pretending to do so. Someone with absolutely no opinions on anything, especially regarding an obscure ongoing minor dispute in the Middle East. A performer with a deep, spiritual understanding that “art is its own reward” – because you won’t be getting paid.

If this sounds like you, please bring your gear and your talent down to One Patriot Place. We will supply the mandatory blue square pin.

Don’t mention Paw-listine

Sunday Lunch Time
Panthers (-1.5) at Falcons
Black Cats pounce on predators

Vikings at Bears (-5.5)
Bears knockout Norsemen

Bengals at Texans (-3)
Stripey Cats give Houston problems

Steelers at Patriots (-5.5)
Kraft bans Qanon Rodgers from preforming at Gillette

Fire up the space laser

Packers (-4) at Jets
Meatmen grind up Gotham

Don’t try this at home

Eagles (-7) at Titans
American birds top Tits

Did someone say American tit top?

Saints at Ravens (-8.5)
Scary Black Birds martyr Saints

Browns at Buccaneers (-8.5)
Bucs bake Brownies

Elf on the baking shelf

Sunday Dinner Time
Jaguars at Broncos (-3)
Spotty cats love high places

Raiders at Chargers (-7)
Plugs turn out Vegas lights

Seahawks (-4.5) at Cardinals
Fake Seabirds swarm pretty red birds

Commanders at Cowboys (-3.5)
Cowboys master Commanders

Dolphins at 49ers (-12.5)
Prospectors fry fish

Sunday Prowl Time
Colts at Chiefs (-6.5)
Watch out Men of Czonka, 17-0 is still on the table

Don’t go popping that champagne just yet

Monday Prowl Time
Giants at Rams (-7)
Horny sheep gore G-men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Beat Football Cat! (2026 Week 1)

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Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Back to the salt mines.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win your choice of either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack, a $25 Ninety Nine Restaurant Gift Card, or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)


Fun! Prizes!

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Bears at Panthers

Buccaneers at Bengals

Ravens at Colts

Saints at Lions

Bills at Texans

Browns at Jaguars

Jets at Titans

Falcons at Steelers 

Packers at Vikings 

Commanders at Eagles

Dolphins at Raiders

Cardinals at Chargers

Cowboys at Giants

Broncos at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our shiny new batch of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

And good luck to all our contestants!

Time to gnaw the tape. What’s that? Grind tape? Agree to disagree.

2026 – The Four You Deplore Results & March Sadness Consolation Match

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And so the Championship Round is set with the closest Four You Deplore vote margin in Tournament history, with a stunning rally from Team JStew to keep Greg Bedard from possibly repeating as champ, and a Ted Johnson comeback coming up one vote short against Large Gymnasium.

Championship will be Thursday, but today is the consolation match. Who do you like? Or dislike?

Update: Oh yes, the polls will close, RIGHT NOW! (Jerod Mayo idiotic laugh) No, they will close at 8PM EDT. Thank you.

2026 March Sadness – The Hateable 8

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It’s all building up to something. Eight very hateable media members soon will be reduced to four. By your votes. Polls will close at 9 PM EDT.

Update: Polls will close temporarily at 12:30 PM EDT to deal with voting irregularity issues. Thank you in advance.

2nd Update: Done.

Sorry Sixteen Preview – March Sadness 2026

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Welcome to Round 3 of March Sadness 2026, when the true pieces of shit separate themselves from the turds.

You can’t tell the players without a scorecard


If you were expecting a “Sour Sixteen” preview, then we have one word for you… SORRRRRREY! It’s now the “Sorry Sixteen” © â„  ® â„¢ Patent Pending. And a very sorry preview it is…

Region C
1 Greg Bedard vs 5 Dan Shaughnessy
It took overtime for Shank to sneak into the Sour Sorry Sixteen by the skin of his McTeeth. Look for Bedard to kick his balls up around his head.

The sun will come out tomorrow, but only for one of these two

2 Fred Toucher vs 3 Adam Jones
Fred Toucher spent a lot of time last week defending himself against accusation of racism. You know who doesn’t spend a lot of time defending themselves against accusations of racism? Non-racists. He doth protest too much advances.

Region V
1 Jim Murray vs 12 Chris Curtis
Advancing to the Sour Sixteen may be the second most shocking thing Curtis has ever done, but Large Gymnasium wins the battle of the bald middle aged dimwitted overconfident flash boys.

Curtis, in happier times, with the most shocking thing he’s done.

2 Marc Bertrand vs 3 Andy Hart
The Far Side kid burns lil’ Andy with his magnifying glass

Region N
1 Gabrielle Starr vs 4 Kevin F Paul Dupont
The woman in sports snips KPD’s sports manhood

2 James Stewart vs 3 Michael Felger
Jimmy Stewart gives Felger the Lavanchy treatment.

Gentleman, hide your ladies… and your cats

Region T
1 Ted Johnson vs 5 Scott Zolak
We will finally get an answer to a question that has been confounding medical experts for decades: Which causes more long term cognitive issues, head trauma or substance abuse? We’ve got good news, you can keep doing drugs kids, CTEd snowplows Zo.

2 Chris Gasper vs 3 Albert Breer
Breer sends Kid Gas to the golden showers.

It’s outrageous, egregious, preposterous

Vote early and often!

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