The 15

I’m not even over Barbaro yet and now I’ve got to deal with Nick Chubb?

I’m always in a better mood on days that the National Football League plays game

Boston College visits 3-0 Louisville Saturday in ACC gridiron action!

Last week the Red Sox decided to play God and made Chaim Bloom their Moses: You can lead us through the desert, but you won’t be the one to take us to the Promised Land.

So Sergio Brown wasn’t found dead in a creek? That’s good, right?

Nothing is as reliably cringey as the NE Revolution social media posts.

Cakes are cooking for George R.R. Martin, John W. Henry, Gary Cole, Lesley Thompson, Nuno Bettencourt, Asia Argento, and John Tavares.

Would it be in poor taste to point out Chubb’s NFL career only lasted 1 game more than Sony Michel’s?

Bob Lobel’s legs look like they should be hanging in a Chinese meat shop.

Well I think it’s weird that the broadcast calls Deion Sanders “Coach Prime” and not Deion Sanders.

Robert Vernon Dalbec is still the Fruith.

Man, of all the awful ways to move off of the Patriots season ticket waitlist.

Red Line Reminder: Shuttle buses replace service between JFK/UMass and Braintree beginning at 8:45 PM on Friday, 9/22, through the end of service Sunday, 9/24, due to track and tie replacement work. Regular Commuter Rail service will run Friday night with shuttles over the weekend.

Winning Time deserves its cancellation after omitting Ray Flynn out of the Celtics locker room.

Still laughing at Lombardi saying please get up. Like asking if Kennedy was ok after seeing the Zapruder film.

Legitimately flabbergasted by the Chaim Bloom era. It’s like he got access to one of hottest clubs in the city and never got on the dance floor, never ordered a drink.

Washburn speculates that Brogdon is upset, now it’s fact. What an industry

Maybe the Patriots will play better without the distraction of the tallest lighthouse in North America.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You’ve barely touched your beet tablets, son.”

Bruins Centennial Jersey needs more stripes on the sleeves.

The Browns are signing their own former RB Kareem Hunt, agreeing to terms with him on a 1-year deal worth up to $4M. After a multi-stop journey, he lands back home.

Somebody was collecting names for “just fun” players the other day. Rowdy Tellez is in that camp. Rowdy is the 2020’s version of Boog Powell. Boog had a better career, obviously, but you dye his hair orange and Rowdy could play Boog in a movie.

So is that Stapleton version of ‘In the Air Tonight’ available as a full song or what?

How can we always have last week’s supermarket flyer, and next week’s, but never this week’s? How is that possible?

Congrats on the employment!

Do Glen “Big Baby” Davis’ attorneys believe that Paul Pierce would have no need to be sworn in, as he is definitionally, ‘The Truth?’

Deshaun Watson isn’t cooked. He’s still in his refractory period.

Was the Pour House not a gay enough name?

Lunatic fringe.
I know you’re out there.
You’re in hiding, and you hold your meetings.
I can hear you coming.
I know what you’re after.
We’re wise to you this time, (wise to you this time)
We won’t let you kill the laughter,

Sorry, can’t call in to the hot take troll show. It’s raining.

Lit Filling the void in the Eastern States Exposition concert calendar caused by Puddle of Mudd abruptly cancelling their shows. Bravo, Lit.

Honk if you remember The Ship Restaurant in Lynnfield.

The best thing about replay in the NFL is how often it gets calls wrong.

Nothing positive can come from treating celebrity callers like regular people making arguments in good faith.

That’s right: I say autumnal.

Marchy with the C.

I wish Rip Taylor were still around so he could ring the Gillette Stadium lighthouse bell.

Lauren Boebert is no Alanis Morissette.

Why do bad things keep happening to Big Papi? Oh. Right.

Best bet for the weekend: For three hours, we are all Oregon Ducks fans.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I have a picture pinned to my wall. An image of you and of me and we’re laughing, we’re loving it all.

Great day for baseball! Let’s play two!

The New England Revolution has entered its Reign of Terror phase, unfortunately.

It must have been a short discussion about the IR between JuJu and the team.

Was Aaron Rodgers injury on 9/11 an inside job?

The Rams were carried by Tutu and Puka on Sunday. Wide receivers or a new animated series on Disney+?

100 Years. 100 Bruins greats.

Get well soon Kenley Jansen. And that’s for your next ailment too.

Tom Brady: A Patriot for life.

Cakes are cooking for Sam Neill, Melissa Leo, Nas, Frostee Rucker, Jimmy Butler, and Deshaun Watson.

BTW, Travolta’s early career run doesn’t get talked about nearly enough. From ‘75-‘81: “Welcome Back, Kotter”, Carrie, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Urban Cowboy, Blow Out. Goofy sitcom, horror, gritty urban drama, musical, faux shitkicker, and thriller right outta the gate.

If a no-look pass is thrown and not completed, did it even happen?

Hey! What up gang of numrods that understand life is more important than sports? This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m donating to his face.”

Terry Pegula and Jerry Jones seem nice.

Green Line Reminder: Service will be suspended between Lechmere and Union Square, September 18 – October 12, due to MassDOT work on Squires Bridge. Use local bus routes for service to the Green Line E Branch or Orange Line.

God bless Freddy Lynn. Living his best life without scorn.

Eventually the ‘Big-time throw’ advanced metric will just be called a “MAHOMES,” kinda like there’s an NBA advanced stat called “LEBRON.”

I’ll be stunned if the Yankees don’t severely overpay for Blake Snell.

WWE wrestler Test died in 2009? Cross him off, then!

The head coaches are such a vital part of the NFL TV show. Mike McCarthy has been in the cast for nearly 20 years and Brian Daboll has a real chance to be.

Here’s your mind-blowing fact of the day. In road games, Juan Soto has a higher OPS this year than either Ronald Acuna or Mookie Betts.

Stefon Diggs hates white women. There; I said it.

Tottenham Hotspur and NFL announced an expansion of their partnership through the 2029 – 2030 NFL season. Tottenham Hotspur Stadium will officially be the home of the NFL in the UK. A minimum of two NFL games a year will continue to be played there.

There she goes.
There she goes again.
She calls my name, pulls my train.
No one else could heal my pain.
But I just can’t contain.
This feelin’ that remains.

There she goes.
There she goes again.
Chasing down my lane.
And I just can’t contain.
This feelin’ that remains.

You could be making crispy fried soft shell crabs at home.

Mahomes. So filthy.

DJ Bean played his music? I’d have rather been at Great White’s last show.

BALL!

Honk if you remember Hurricane Gloria.

Bill Devane lied to me?

PSA: you don’t need and most likely cannot handle a Belgian Malinois. don’t do it.

Patriots. Football. Now.

McDermott wearing an NYPD hat is fitting. Looks like one of the dudes who shot Serpico.

Do you have a tow spindle?

Don’t you lie to me like I’m Montel Williams that you’re Autosaving, WordPress. We both know better.

Of course the Miami Hurricanes cheerleaders are hot.

‘Sale and Paxton need eight days of inaction’ could be the Hub’s ‘Spahn and Sain and pray for rain’ of the 21st century.

Tony Masserotti still hasn’t unlocked his Twitter account? Loser.

Best bet for the weekend: beach erosion on the Outer Cape.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Our love leads to madness.

The nigh-worthless Boston Globe should have been writing wall-to-wall columns about how Jared Remy needed to do a 30-year stretch to learn his lesson before he murdered Jennifer Martel.

Last Wednesday Warren Buffett turned 93, Last Friday Jimmy Buffett drops dead. Makes you think.

Kyle Teel has already been promoted to Double A. Is he using a disguised metal bat?

I hate the ‘Coach Prime’ nickname more than the ‘Shady’, ‘Hollywood’, and ‘Wink’ ones put together.

Bill Lee is too old for baseball. He should run for the Senate.

Well I think it’s great that Mike Reiss once a week provides a sports component to Touch & Rich’s Morning Zoo.

There’s nothing like riding an electric bicycle to a game of pickleball.

Cakes are cooking for Chrissie Hynde, Mark McCumber, Benmont Tench, Bruce Armstrong, Uta Pippig, Darren Bragg, Tom Everett Scott, Shannon Elizabeth, Mark Prior, Vera Zvonareva, Rafinha, and Evan Rachel Wood.

Florida played at Utah. Are they in the same conference now?

Why is some clothing marketed now as sleepwear? I think I’ll decide when & where I wear it, thank you.

When is someone, Chris Nolan I’m looking at you, going to make an FDR trilogy? 1st movie starts w/run for VP, getting polio, relationship w/Eleanor, governor of NY and ends w/his election as POTUS, 2nd: New Deal until the start of WW2 in Europe, 3rd: WW2 up to his death. Yalta could be its own movie.

Hey gang of blondies, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “New Englanders call water fountains bubblers.”

We lost Ken Powers over the summer? Shame.

The watch party up in heaven with Mike Leach and Jimmy Buffett is going to be a banger.

Kudos on a job…done, Chris Mortensen, you stooge. Oh, and Matthew 22:36-40 doesn’t mean it’s okay to ignore the Ninth Commandment, the one about bearing false witness against your neighbor.

Heat bugs!

There’s lots of questions about how Chris Godwin and Mike Evans will fare this season with a new QB, but they draw a great Week 1 matchup.

Red Sox pissing and shitting all over themselves and the biggest story in town is the local backup quarterback being moved to the practice squad.

Thankfully Tom Caron pronounced “Negro Leagues Museum” flawlessly.

I had this vivid dream that a phenom pitcher named Gil Thielen — I remember specifically spelling the name in the dream — was called up by the Mariners and was leading them to the World Series when I got an exclusive interview. I might be thinking too much about baseball.

Now that Gil Brandt’s dead, just imagine all the players we’ll learn he called Upton Bell about.

Best of luck to Americans Coco Gauff, Madison Keys, and Ben Shelton in the US Open Semifinals today and tomorrow.

Deuce Tatum is darker than Chris Gasper.

When I was single, I’d sleep on the comforter and put blankets over me. I never had to clean the sheets. Although not sure that is why I did it. I think I simply didn’t feel the need to pull down the comforter if I had blankets to cover me. That changed when I met my wife.

Is Sam Shaughnessy’s dad bemoaning someone receiving preferential treatment from the justice system?

It’s such a drag to want something sometime.
One thing leads to another, I know.
Was a time I wanted you for mine,
Nobody knew.
You arrived like a day and passed like a cloud.
I made a wish, I said it out loud.
Out loud in a crowd.
Everybody heard.
‘Twas the talk of the town.

Made some Gold Bark chicken thighs with a little sprinkle of Sriracha, absolutely delicious.

Honk if you remember Good Time Emporium of Somerville.

Deion Sanders? He self identifies as black which is convenient given he’s a black.

I know there is white asparagus, but are there white collard greens?

If Kelce doesn’t play, no quarterback in the history of the game will have had a worse group of offensive skill players surrounding him tonight that poor Patrick Mahomes.

Jimmy Buffett was one thing but not the Smash Mouth guy too.

Good Luck Team USA in the FIBA semifinals thingie.

Best bet for the weekend: Patriots offense getting the best of newly re-anointed super-defensive genius rocket scientist Matt Patricia.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gonna use my arms, gonna use my legs. Gonna use my style, gonna use my sidestep. Gonna use my fingers, gonna use my, my, my Imagination.