The 15

Please welcome our newest pigskin prognosticator here at The15, Football Cat.

Recap:

Thurrsday – Lions 21 Chiefs 20 (-4.5)

The Lions won because Coach Campbell went for in on 4th and 2, and because Andy Reid is an oafish walrus and Mahomes is an overconfident damn Fraggle. Punt on 4th and 25 with three timeouts and the two-minute warning, stupid.

One o’ clock games:

Panthers at Falcons (-3.5)

Carolina wins to avenge the time a falcon swooped down and poached a bunny I had been stalking. Might have been a red-tailed hawk. Whatever, you some kind of bird expert?

Jaguars (-5) at Colts

Jaguars win by two scores. Why? Because Trev Lawrence looks like Kenni Middleton who likes cats. Obvi.

Bengals (-2.5) at Browns

Does anyone know if Cincinnati QB Joe Burrow is the highest paid player in NFL history? Stripey cats win and cover.

Texans at Ravens (-10)

Still shook from losing in the preseason the Ravens win but fail to cover.

Buccaneers at Vikings (-6)

Pirates of the 9th century defeat the 18th century pirates by nine. Arrrr.

Titans at Saints (-3)

Coach Vrabes versus Dennis Allen? Please. Tennessee wins. Go tits!

49ers (-2) at Steelers

Pittsburgh as the underdog at home? What is the world coming to? Niners by one.

Cardinals at Commanders (-7)

Surprised the Washington Team isn’t a double-digit favorite. Commanders win, covering the spread.

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More later, right now I’m late for my nap.

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I’m back, bright eyed and bushy tailed! Not really, though.

Not one o’ clock games, the later ones:

Eagles (-4) at Patriots

Philly doesn’t get to ruin Tom Brady’s day this time. Mac owns. Pats win.

Packers at Bears (-1)

I like the Big Cat. Seems to like sports, pretends he’s from Chicago, keeps the show moving. So Bears win.

Raiders at Broncos (-3.5)

That Chandler Jones seems well adjusted, huh? Raiders don’t need him to win. And will. Josh & Jimmy!

Dolphins at Chargers (-3)

That Tua, he’s got more lives than a cat. And also concussions. But the porps prevail.

Rams at Seahawks

I can’t root for a large, imaginary bird. Rams get the dub, as the kittens say.

Cowboys (-3.5) at Giants

Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. In this case, the Giants beat Dallas.

Bills (-2.5) at Jets

Jets fans find out signing Ayahuasca Nick Foles isn’t the cheat code hyperloop directly to the Super Bowl they thought it would be. Bills win Monday night. Downside? Happy Buffalonians. Ack!

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Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.