The 15

Congratulations to the Brewers! Well done.  I do feel bad for Dick Vitale and the Rays’ other fan.

Jaylen Brown is like a pick-me girl if the targeted audience was black dudes with Asian cartoons as their profile pics.

How poor and strung out do you have to be to have mismatching plasticware?

Sounds like Henderson might have had the “Foxboro Flu” last weekend.

Hey honey, for Halloween I think I’ll go as that famously flamboyantly gay guy who’s known for exercising, you know as a joke.

Thank you, Veronica Burton, for doing your part in preventing Owen Pence from crowing about Angel Reese.

You never see a white guy named Malik.

You just know Andy Reid and Brett Veach have Henry Ruggs III’s mandatory parole date circled on their calendars.

I’ve never seen Ernest Scared Stupid. I’m fixing that right now.

Finding out for the first time in 2026 that Bruce Springsteen is a liberal has shocked me to my core.

Cakes are coking for Delbert McClinton, Marlene Jobert, Jacques Villeneuve the Elder, Chris Difford, Peter Boynton, Jeff Probst, Ralph Macchio, Michel Therrien, Kool Rock-ski, Petra Verkaik, Eric Karros, Carlos Baerga, Matthew McConaughey, Puff Daddy, Russell Copeland, Orlando Pace, Larry Bigbie, Vince Wilfork, Devin Hester, and Dez Bryant.

Miami needs to be ranked #1 so if Notre Dame beats them ESPN can make the argument that they beat one good team.

I thought Achilles was the face of Achilles injuries.

Joe Mazzulla has never understood the phrase “double-edged sword.” “Aren’t all swords double-edged?” he said.

Zolak made an analogy to that Maye sack to “back when on the Mass Poke they had ticket turnstiles, now you just use the Sun Pass”. What?

I don’t think mastering one thing and then moving on to the next thing is a hallmark of ADHD.

Red Sox just traded the owner of the first cycle in WooSox history.

Can the Pope dunk?

Football is just a very retarded sport to try to capture statistically in so many ways. “Nice 1 yard TD run, loser. Your YPC just took a hit.”

The thing I’ll always remember from Patrick Stewart is him saying that, coming from a Shakespearean background, he was the only one on the set of TNG who knew what to with your hands when you have no pockets: Nothing. Genuinely helpful as an autistic and a trans woman both.

Mayfield had a higher rating than Penix? How is 0-3 for 0 not a 0?

A computer took your job Daddy.

Charlie McAvoy got two separate penalties eight seconds apart. That’s hard to do.

Kaylee Hartung; was her dad a G.I.?

I really enjoy Andrew Catalon. That thing on top of his head, less so.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She looks bendy, and willing to try stuff.”

NBA Cup Tonight!!!
Said no one ever
Bob Hearts Abishola Energy.

Felger smelling his own jizz seems on pointe.

A Pete Blackburn mention means more to me than it should and yes I am embarrassed writing that.

Imagine double-teaming the DUNE: PART 3 popcorn bucket with your best friend and then never speaking about it again.

I don’t know if modern day Celtics fans can appreciate how important Delonte was to the mid 2000s teams and putting the team into position to get KG and Ray. His “wiyahh hangaahhh” ad for Fox Sports New England is legendary.

Logan Ryan has a sneaky good white guy sounding voice.

Green Line: Due to signal upgrades, there will be no service between North Station & Babcock St (B), Cleveland Circle (C), Kenmore (D), & Heath St (E) Nov 7 – 15. Use buses to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay & North Station.

Fan Duel with The NFL Logo next to It is disgusting. Bert Bell is rolling in his grave. He went To his grave after he Dropped Dead.

Wow, Mut really pussies out talking about Mike Adams.

I feel like it’s been all downhill for Vivek ever since he got Josh’s endorsement.

That AJ Brown trade is looking better and better each day.

The Mrs. is noticing the grocery bills have been increasing outside of inflation. She’s yet to discover the correlation between the money spent and the convoluted recipes she sends me to make on TikTok. Stay tuned.

News Item: Lights is in a poly relationship with Anthony from Smosh.

Feels like the Patriots could have gotten Jared Wilson a helmet cover that is the same color as the regular helmets.

I don’t recall asking for a Temu Tim Burton Ebeneezer Scrooge movie.

Imagine that annoying sports TV guy if he had the mentions of that annoying sports TV girl. Crazy stuff!

He fell down.

The Gilded Age is peak TV and I’m glad it’s back. One of the only shows I will make time to watch as close to “live” as possible.

At my bedside empty pocket,
A foot without a sock.
Your body gets much closer,
I fumble for the clock
Alarmed, by the seduction
I wish that it would stop.

Tempted by the fruit of another.
Tempted, but the truth is discovered.
What’s been going on,
Now that you have gone.
There’s no other,
Tempted by the fruit of another,
Tempted, but the truth is discovered.

Coach Vrabes looks like crap. The mini bye week with his wife must have been fun.

Flo stays in his bag.

Lexington High’s Sal Frelick: World Series champion. Newton South High’s Veronica Burton: WNBA champion. Two kids from Massachusetts who defied the odds. You can do it, too. Believe in yourself.

Honk if you remember Left Shark.

Missing my ex-boyfriend from two boyfriends ago who thought a force to be reckoned with was “a force to be wrecking with” and said it constantly.

Joe Fagnano pronounces his name, “Fan-Yano”?

I would like to see the language in Jaylen’s contract that allows him to go skydiving. I will wait.

Sources: The Patriots will not be in for real on Jonathan Taylor, but if a team that recently lost their MVP caliber QB makes their RB who used to play for Vrabel available, which is possible, keep your eyes peeled.

I would be more interested in Platinum Glove Awards if the winners had to dye their hair platinum.

Had to open the emergency backup ‘Dots, Tootsie Pops & Tootsie Rolls’ bag for the last bunch of trick or treaters.

I got got. Bam did not dress up as A’ja for Halloween. Damn AI.

L.L. Bean boots are dogshit in snow and ice, but people have been psyoped into thinking they need them.

When does analytics revert to the mean?

For three weeks I thought I had anhedonia. Turns out I was just really bored.

Best bet for the weekend: Coors Light and shitty chili.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Matt Vautour, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. How long has this been going on?