Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat was outpicked by the Merrimack Valley’s savviest aunt. Congratulations, lady.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Hat. Shirt. Fluff.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Dolphins at Falcons
Bears at Ravens
Bills at Panthers
Jets at Bengals
49ers at Texans
Browns at Patriots
Giants at Eagles
Buccaneers at Saints
Cowboys at Broncos
Titans at Colts
Packers at Steelers
Commanders at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our merry band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
With Halloween only one week away you are probably looking for a fun, yet simple, way to get into the spooky spirit. Little did you know that bone chilling excitement is just a phone call away.
Traverse into the eerie elements of the other world and encounter those who lurk in the night. Call the Halloween Haunted Hotline at 585-IF-U-DARE! Carefully choose your fright, not all who call survive the night.
There are many haunted attractions in New England, but none scarier than the House on Harris Road in Nashua, NH. Home of the infamous “Death Couch”. Those who dare sit on the sofa will be doomed, and not just because they’ve come in contact with its sticky coating of ectoplasm. Within the past three years there have been documented cases of a man suffering a debilitating stroke, another being institutionalized (multiple times), numerous extraterrestrial visitations and one actual death happening to people after they’ve sat upon the cursed couch. If you’re interested in purchasing it, or some old ceiling tiles, you can call 603-881-6980. In lieu of cash, blue cupcakes will be accepted in trade.
In celebration of the Halloween season, Sony Pictures and Ghost Corps have launched a brand-new campaign, letting fans both call and text the Ghostbusters. If you’ve got something strange in your neighborhood to report, pick up the phone and call (or text) 516-718-TRAP.
Wrinkles the Clown is no Stephen King character, but that doesn’t make this real-life clown any less creepy. Based in Naples, Florida, this clown offers a wide variety of services, like performing at parties and intentionally scaring children. Calling 407-734-0254 sends you to his voicemail, where we’re told you can hear a pretty chilling message.
Would you like to speak with Frankenstein’s monosyllabic monster? Then just dial 617-779-7937 any weekday afternoon between 2 pm and 6 pm. Remember he has an abnormal brain, so please be patient and speak slowly.
Bread good… ratings BAD!
Just remember that standard message and data rates may apply.
Sunday Lunch Time Dolphins at Falcons (-7.5) Penix penetrates porpoises
Bears at Ravens (-6.5) Scary black birds spook da’ Bears
Frightening
Bills (-7.5) at Panthers Hairy cows rub black cats the wrong way
Jets at Bengals (-6.5) Stripey cats maul Jets
49ers at Texans (-1.5) Mac gives Houston problems
My good friend Mac continues to own
Browns at Patriots (-7) It’s no longer Drake may… it’s Drake IS!
Drake-a-mania grips Hub!
Giants at Eagles (-7.5) Philly dash Dart
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers (-4.5) at Saints Bucs cook Cajuns
Cowboys at Broncos (-3.5) Denver does Dallas
We said Denver, not Debbie… D E N V E R
Titans at Colts (-14) Indianapolis Jones whips Tits
Sunday Prowl Time Packers at Steelers (-3) Packmen rout Rodgers
Looking sharp
Monday Prowl Time Commanders at Chiefs (-12.5) KC shuts down DC
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
It got a little dusty in the TD Garden last night, amirite?
Tough loss, Mariners. Can I interest you in a baseball poem?
Hoping that for his next investigation, Pablo Torre can find out how Katie Nolan keeps getting work.
NESN talking Patriots credit pie? Bill only ever got blame pie. And such large portions!
When you turn too many corners you end up back where you started.
Toucher, Adam 12, Hardy and Big Jim… why not make the entire station out of failed rock DJs?
If I had been playing in that media basketball game, I would have pulled my team off the floor. Sometimes you have to make a statement.
Dammit Carolina Hurricanes, stop wearing the Whalers branding as a skin suit.
Cakes are cooking for Christopher Lloyd, Derek Jacobi, Jan de Bont, Lee Meredith, Greg Hawkes, Jeff Goldblum, Bobby Blotzer, Cris Kirkwood, Barbara Potter, Leonard Marshall, Bob Odenkirk, Brian Boitano, Valeria Golino, Carlos Mencia, Ron Tugnutt, Shaggy, Shelby Lynn, Spike Jonze, Saffron Burrows, Tyrone Williams, Ichiro Suzuki, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Brad Stevens, Jon Foreman, Olivier Pla, Heath Miller, Robinson Canó, Zac Hanson, Jonathan Lipnicki, Marcus Jones, and TreVeyon Henderson.
Love my gals of sports twitter today and always.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “We’re starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.”
You can be bald or gay but not both.
Globe Pitchbot makes Michael Hurley look like Patrice O’Neal.
Green Line D Branch Reminder: From 8 PM on October 24 through October 31. Local and Express Shuttle buses will replace service between Kenmore and Riverside for maintenance work.
FYI, Celtics season ticket renewal is March, with commitment to renew in February.
I wonder if Gene Simmons gave Ace Frehley’s family a Kiss coffin at half-price.
Guys, I don’t know if it’s been said before, but we’re starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.
Whomever convinced Chris Gasper he’s a good writer needs to be brought before The Hague.
Aaron Rodgers yelling is lowkey kinda scary.
Hate when I see a 12-year-old kid wearing a sliding mitt, but Vlad Jr. makes it look cool.
As usual I’m the only one in the exit row to review the passenger safety card. I don’t see any of these people helping in the event of an emergency.
It’s crazy, like, I was just thinking that we’re actually starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is. Anyone else feel this way?
Savor all the moments we have left with Chris Berman.
Long Johns went on today. Sorry folks, but it’s officially winter. I don’t care what your calendar says.
White women love two things: fucking with their faces and autumn.
You know the Patriots are back when Joe Murray and Dondero open up the postgame show by complaining about the Patriots trying to force the run, and how the defense needs to play better.
Black cats conduct heat evenly.
Why do refs say, “by rule”? What else would it be by?
As I was driving home, a thought struck me: We’re starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.
Damn convenient the Charles River water quality markedly improved right before the Regatta!
And when I wake up in the morning To feel the daybreak on my face There’s a blood that’s flowing through the feeling With a knife to open up the sky’s veins.
Some things will never change You just stand there looking backwards half unconscious from the pain It may seem rearranged In the backwater swirling there is something that will never change.
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid…No one would be able to find it.
Porzingis had POTS? So is he better now? I ask because the broads seem to make it their personality for the rest of their life.
Honk if you remember when Paul was dead.
The next day, local television journalist Clark Booth suggested, “Instead of playing a seventh game, they should spread tables and checkered tablecloths across the outfields and just have a picnic, a feast to a glorious World Series, and toast one another until dawn.’’
It’s alright to cry Marchy, crying takes the sad out of you.
Congratulations to K’Lavon Chaisson for being named AFC Defensive Player of the Week.
Salem Ghost Lantern Stroll!
After looking at Marchand in a Panthers uni all night now I look up and it’s Marcus Smart as a Laker.
The Celtics, they could surprise!
Best bet for the weekend: we draw inexorably nearer to the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.
It stayed fair, 50 years ago.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.She’s drivin’ away, with the dim lights on.
And happy birthday to French actress Catherine Deneuve.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat went 11-3 for the week, better than any of the opposition.
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
You like prizes.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Rams at Jaguars
Saints at Bears
Dolphins at Browns
Raiders at Chiefs
Eagles at Vikings
Panthers at Jets
Patriots at Titans
Giants at Broncos
Colts at Chargers
Packers at Cardinals
Commanders at Cowboys
Falcons at 49ers
Buccaneers at Lions
Texans at Seahawks
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our fine squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants
Mercury, draw near, and to my prayer incline, Angel of Jove and Maia’s son divine; Studious of contests, ruler of mankind, With heart almighty, and a prudent mind. Celestial messenger, of various skill, Whose powerful arts could watchful Argus kill: With winged feet, ’tis thine thro’ air to course, O friend of man, and prophet of discourse: Great life-supporter, to rejoice is thine, In arts gymnastic, and in fraud divine: With power endured all language to explain, Of care the loosener, and the source of gain. Whose hand contains of blameless peace the rod, Corucian, blessed, profitable God; Of various speech, whose aid in works we find, And in necessities to mortals kind: Dire weapon of the tongue, which men revere, Be present, Mercury, and thy suppliant hear; Assist my works, conclude my life with peace, Give graceful speech, and my memory’s increase. -The Orphic Hymn to Mercury
Did someone say Mercury?
Sunday Full English Breakfast Time Rams (-3) at Jaguars Horny sheep shag Jags
Oh behave!
Sunday Lunch Time Saints at Bears (-4.5) Poohs rattle Popes
Dolphins at Browns (-2.5) Fairies fry fish
Raiders at Chiefs (-11.5) Indigenous Peoples are on the war path
Please don’t pee pee in the teepee
Eagles (-1.5) at Vikings Philly sinks Norsemen
Panthers (-1.5) at Jets Black cats ground jet lagged New Yorkers
Teterboro Tower, this is Piper 2-0-2
Patriots (-7) at Titans Patriots pinch Tits
Sunday Dinner Time Giants at Broncos (-7) Denver drops Dart
Colts at Chargers (-1.5) Indianapolis Jones pulls the Plugs
Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.
Packers at Cardinals (-6.5) Meatmen pluck pretty red birds
Commanders (-2.5) at Cowboys Washington shuts down Dallas
From Dallas, Texas, the flash, apparently official: The Cowboys stink
Sunday Prowl Time Falcons at 49ers (-2.5) Penix plows Prospectors
Monday Prowl Time Buccaneers at Lions (-5.5) Kings of Beasts maul Mayfield
Monday Sleepy Time Texans at Seahawks (-3) Houston upsets Fake Sea Birds, but it’s still baseball season in Seattle!
It all comes back to baseball, Danny
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Bill needs to dump that gold-digging whore. I’m talking about Freddie Kitchens, obviously.
The Boston Bruins quest for The Cup begins tonight, with no less than three alternate Captains. Leadership will evolve organically.
I’m hearing that Barstool just hired Frederica Bimmel.
Zdeno Chara will be the first player to hang his jersey up in the rafters without needing a pulley system.
You’re all pissing me off the album is good and it’s ok if you think it’s bad but like it’s not my problem. She’s cringe. Expecting her not to be cringe was your problem. BTW, this is how many of us felt about “Pop” in 1997.
If H. Paul Rico were alive he would crack down on the Bills Mafia.
For many of us this is a baseball High Holy Day, the 69th anniversary of Don Larsen’s Perfect Game. Or, as some prefer, Yogi’s Leap.
I like that Mark Sanchez went back to the bar after being stabbed. You can’t teach that.
Cakes are cooking for Rona Barrett, Paul Hogan, Fred Cash, Chevy Chase, R.L. Stine, Ray Royer, Hamish Stuart, Sigourney Weaver, Robert “Kool” Bell, Edward Zwick, Michael Dudikoff, Bill Elliott, Darrell Hammond, Stephanie Zimbalist, Joe Castiglione, Nick Bakay, Tony Eason, Reed Hastings, CeCe Winans, Matt Biondi, Emily Procter, Karyn Parsons, Matt Damon, Soon-Yi Previn, Monty Williams, Donnie Abraham, DJ Q-Ball, Kristanna Loken, Nick Cannon, The Miz, Raffi Torres, Travis Pastrana, Bruno Mars, Bubba Wallace, G Herbo, and Bella Thorne.
Cam In Taunton actually applied for a job at Barstool, but they told him he was too thin.
.A Ferrari beefing with a Sauber? I’m sat.
Imagine what Christian Barmore could accomplish if he only knew how to read.
Never skip face day, bro.
Orange Line: This weekend, October 11 – 13. No Train service between Forest Hills and North Station due to signal work. Use Shuttle buses between Forest Hills and Back Bay. Use the Green Line between Copley and North Station.
Hey Hogdale, You don’t need to work blue! You’ll never play the big rooms with that crap. Ask Redd Foxx. You don’t need the blue stuff, kid, you got talent!
Bob, I was lucky enough to watch the whole game on Black and White TV. I skipped school that day. I don’t think we will ever see that again. The present managers would have Larsen out in the 6th. I thought Jackie Robinson would break up the Perfect game. It was a joyous day. I interviewed Don Larsen many years later.
Most teams play better when they aren’t too busy being dumb.
Hey gang of pill hurlers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “when you grip the hide, hide your grip!”
Trying not to let small disappointments determine my day.
Good radio bit for Dondy: ranking the greatest sports stabbings. “OJ had the panache, but I gotta give the edge to Seles here. And Pierce gotta be top 3.”
We skipped the light fandango Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor I was feeling kind of seasick But the crowd called out for more. The room was humming harder, As the ceiling flew away. When we called out for another drink- The waiter brought a tray-
And so it was that later As the miller told his tale. That her face, at first just ghostly, Turned a whiter shade of pale.
Foxboro Stadium in the 70s at a night game would kill everyone in Western NY and then invade Canada.
Honk if you remember Hyacinth Bucket.
Why make a name for yourself when you can just ride your dad’s coattails? Must be nice.
I can’t imagine being excited about that time 69 years ago when I read about a baseball game a day after it happened. And then saw the Movietone News highlights a week later between the Bowery Boys and the latest Abbott and Costello feature. I’m sure it was magical.
I can’t WAIT to bust out my Irish cardigan soon!
Has the Widow Russell forbidden Bill’s kids from using his bridge?
Much. Needed. Rain.
Well now I’m hearing Bill is giving his players warm Gatorade! An alum can’t pony up his buyout wad fast enough!
Puka Nacua remains a must-start in all formats.
Imagine not hating your job.
Either die a Marv Levy or coach long enough to become a Joe Gibbs.
Passed out at 6-1. The Yankees came back and won?!?!?!
Bert Bell created the Himmy Award in 1949. The Philadelphia Eagles’ Steve Van Buren took home the first one.
Best bet for the weekend: Football Cat’s win streak starts again.
We had a very funny footer gag planned comparing Mac’s outfit to something the Batman villain Two Face would wear, “Heads interception, tails nut-crushing fumble.” but then he had to go out there and own. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Pick Up the Pieces.
And happy heavenly birthday to Johhny Ramone and to C.J. Ramone, who is not pictured here and may still be alive.
I can’t be giving away prizes every other week! it’s unsustainable!
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
We had another winner this week, who will be announced when and if they check their email!
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Vikings at Browns
Cowboys at Jets
Broncos at Eagles
Texans at Ravens
Raiders at Colts
Dolphins at Panthers
Giants at Saints
Buccaneers at Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals
Lions at Bengals
Commanders at Chargers
Patriots at Bills
Chiefs at Jaguars
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our intrepid squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Breaking News: Baseball is officially over! Time to take out the air conditioners, put in the storm windows and start raking those pesky leaves. Sounds like a fun weekend of puttering around until Sunday Night Football, but you know what else sounds like fun? Banking goodwill with you significant other! Week 5 has a horrific lineup of games and the weather is supposed to be glorious. There’s no better time than now to break out the official The15 Fall Event Avoidance Generator and topsy turvy that motherf*cker. It’s the perfect opportunity for you, yes YOU, to bite the bullet and invite your loved one to the Foliage Brunch or the Hay Festival or even a trip to the Apple Maze. The Patriots play at 1 o’clock for the next five weeks – think ahead. Remember failing to plan is planning to fail.
Say it ain’t so, Uncle Joe
Sunday English Muffin Time Vikings (-3.5 ) at Browns Norsemen squash woodland sprites
Sunday Lunch Time Cowboys (-2.5 ) at Jets Jets soar to Cowboys crash
Broncos at Eagles (-5.5) Philly nix Nix
I told you these match-ups are boring
Texans at Ravens (-7.5) Scary black birds kickoff spooky season with a win
Raiders at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones extends the Raiders lost season
More belly rubs Dr. Jones
Dolphins (-1.5 ) at Panthers Black cats feast on fish
Giants (-1.5 ) at Saints David slays Goliath
Davey has been radicalized
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers at Seahawks (-3) Bucs sink Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals (-9.5) Phoenix grabs the Mythical Creature Bowl
Lions (-8.5 ) at Bengals Jungle kings dominate the battle of the big cats
They’ll both rip your lungs out once they grow up
Commanders at Chargers (-2.5) Bolts shutdown Washington
Sunday Prowl Time Patriots at Bills (-8.5) The whiteout uniforms whitewash the Patriots
Polar bear in a snowstorm on Hoth
Monday Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) at Jaguars Indigenous peoples skin the spotted cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
If the New York Yankees had won last night Karl Ravech was going to drive non-stop to Cooperstown and hand deliver the game footage to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
The Patriots are arguably the best 2-2 team in the AFC East.
Oh, I know how get-off-my-lawnish this may sound, but the fuss about a Super Bowl halftime show eludes me. Just give me a good marching band.
It took all of Europe’s best golfers playing out of their minds to just barely beat the scrappy US Ryder Cup squad. I hope they’re very proud for that.
Oh, you know, that old New England seaside tradition, “ringing the fog bell?”
Can you imagine Kendra Middleton eating fried dough at the Topsfield Fair? The zaniness would be off the charts! LOL
The Raiders let the Bears block the kick so no one would say Tom Brady’s classified intel helped them win.
Humiliating Mut is my favorite Barstool thing ever.
Watching the Wild Card game reminds me that the late Larry Johnson could not freehand draw the Yankees logo. At all.
Cakes are cooking for Julie Andrews, Rod Carew, Stephen Collins, Randy Quaid, Earl Slick, Larry Miller, Jeff Reardon, Leslie Burr-Howard, Theresa May, Martin Cooper, Michelle Bauer, Youssou N’dour, Elizabeth Dennehy, Esai Morales, Mark McGwire, Roberto Kelly, Cliff Ronning, Christopher Titus, Mike Pringle, Scot Young, Zach Galifianakis, Rudi Johnson, Johnny Oduya, Matt Cain, and Brie Larson.
Seth, Good luck on your Book. I wrote in my Book that the two most important positions in America are the President and the Quarterback.
I’m convinced the Sullivan Tire Guy is Greater Boston’s Jimmy Savile.
All Lynn Ferry service is cancelled for the remainder of today, October 1, due to rough seas
Tyreek Hill’s leg snapped easier than a three-year old’s arm. What?
Hey gang of stackers, this week’s Phrased that Pays is, “Mut just got cucked by Hogdale.”
That Ceddanne at bat against Weaver was one of the coolest things my eyes have ever seen. Like seeing a minotaur.
Fun Fact: ‘The Fog Belles’ was the name of the San Francisco 49ers first cheerleading squad.
How does a car race go to overtime?
Ravech acting like Judge playing right field on roller skates is making plays out there like he’s Willie Mays.
I’ll say it again: if you want to be a creator, don’t let brands exploit you. A massive food company just asked me to eat something so spicy it required a safety waiver and for zero pay. I’ve been doing this for 10 years and still get offers like this. No one will advocate for you but you. If a brand says, ‘no compensation, just community,’ the answer is NO. They don’t get to use your image for clicks and their gain for none of your own, because I promise they have the budget. The end.
Fire Country is at least an actual phrase. Sheriff Country makes no sense.
Red Sox Alumni News: Nice to see Francona bring the Reds to the playoffs. Ely De La Cruz is a fun player to watch. Rafi Devers played 163 games this season. Gary Allenson is still alive.
Cam has good rabbit-killing hands.
Zooey Deschanel looks completely different without bangs.
I’m jk I know this usually means a retirement tour or whatever but I have declared the Kings my punching bag of the year.
If you leave, don’t leave now Please don’t take my heart away Promise me just one more night Then we’ll go our separate ways We’ve always had time on our sides Now it’s fading fast Every second, every moment We’ve got to, we’ve gotta make it last
I touch you once, I touch you twice I won’t let go at any price I need you now like I need you then You always said we’d still be friends someday
I always knew Nick Sogard and Nate Eaton would be big for the Red Sox in the playoffs.
Honk if you remember ‘Memphis Seoul.’
Portland Heart of Pine playing on a field with both football and soccer markings is confusing.
Smokey Joe Wood? He was a problem.
Live is one of the few bands actually worse than Nirvana.
Happy trails, Al Horford. You will be missed.
I can’t name one Zac Bryan or Eric Church song, and I’m guessing neither can Gerry Callahan.
The Ryder Cup Envelope Rule?
Best bet for the weekend: early whiteout conditions in Buffalo. Check for Skyway closure announcements!
Douglas, Henry, & Diggs could get used to winning.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friend Hacksaw, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon. We are shakin’ the tree.
And happy Birthday to model and actress Cindy Margolis, the one-time ‘Most Downloaded Person in the world’
Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! Welcome to Football Cat’s Wide World of Sports Weekend! In Asia there are the World Athletics Championship finishing up in Tokyo. In the Land Down Under we have an all feline Grand Final in the Australian Football League as the Geelong Cats (a personal favorite) take on the defending champion Melbourne Lions. In Brazil there’s the Grand Chess Tour Finals kicking off (a Blitz isn’t only in football kids). And who could possibly forget about everyone’s favorite jingoistic biennial golf tournament, that the Ryder Cup (any relation to Greg?) is taking place at Bethpage Black (any relation to Shirley Temple Black?) Even the Red Sox are prepping for the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!?!) But Faith and Begorrah the most important international sporting event of the weekend will be taking place in the Emerald Isle, when the Steelers “host” the Vikings in the first ever regular season NFL game to ever be played on the auld sod. Why the Steelers you may ask? What a stupid question boy-o! Why I ought to bop you on the head with me shillelagh! The Steelers were the obvious choice because of their deep Irish roots. Steeler’s patriarch Art Rooney’s great-grandparents emigrated from Ireland way back in 1840 during the Great Famine. That means current Steeler’s owner Dan Rooney only has to go back four generations to reach his potato roots. Wow a 4th generation Irish American! There are only about 32 other million of those, and half are in Southie. So remember no matter how many times you drop “Sláinte” or “Éire go Brách”, your blood will never be as green as the Sainted Rooney family. Top o’ the mornin’ to YOU, ya’ spud!
The local Mick community couldn’t be more excited
And congratulations to Warren Dull’s Aunt on being the only human to ever defeat Football Cat
Choke on that Fluff lady
Sunday Potato Pancake Time Vikings (-2.5) vs Steelers Stillers hand the Vikings their worst defeat in Ireland since the Battle of Clontarf in 1014
Brian Boru invented sudden death centuries before Bert Bell
Sunday Lunch Time Commanders (-1.5) at Falcons Penix stiffens up and balls out.
Saints at Bills (-15.5) Even Saint Jude is backing the Bills in this one.
The Popes!
Browns at Lions (-9.5) Jungle Kings smear the Browns
Titans at Texans (-7.5) FUN FACT: This game showcases the only two teams in the NFL whose nicknames end in “ans”! Tex top Tit
Did someone say “Texas tit top”?
Panthers at Patriots (-5.5) Black cats get caught looking ahead to October.
Chargers (-6.5) at Giants Jaxon Dart? More like Jaxon Sharts the bed!
Eagles (-3.5) at Buccaneers American birds soar in this battle of the unbeatens
Sunday Dinner Time Colts at Rams (-3.5) Hairy sheep hand Indianapolis Jones his first loss
Jaguars at 49ers (-3.5) Mac tames the Spotted Cats
My good friend Mac and I can’t stop owning
Ravens (-2.5) at Chiefs Scary Black birds murder Mahomes
Bears (-1.5) at Raiders It is officially fall, and the Autumn Wind is a Raider… Vegas baby!
Packers (-6.5) at Cowboys Meat men grind up Cow boys
Eeek!
Monday Early Prowl Time Jets at Dolphins (-2.5) Jets take the toilet bowl
Monday Prowl Time Bengals at Broncos (-7.5) Stripey Cats succumb to hypoxia
I hope this is nitrous
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
