Foxborough, MA – The New England Patriots are on a perfectly executed path to future dominance at the quarter mark of the 2024 season, and anyone who doubts this could be missing the bigger picture. Despite their current 2-6 record, which is simply a minor blip on their trajectory, the Patriots have laid the foundation for what will surely be a return to glory in the coming years. Head coach Jerod Mayo has created a master plan that emphasizes long-term growth, and we are seeing the early stages of a renaissance!
First, let’s talk about the defense. Christian Gonzalez and Keion White are emerging as superstar talents. Gonzalez has been a shutdown corner, neutralizing some of the league’s top wide receivers, and White is already one of the best pass rushers in the NFL with four sacks in just four games, on par with elite defenders like Myles Garrett. It’s clear this defensive duo will lead the league for years to come.
Jerod The Inspiring is wearing The Pin. How can you do any less!?!
On offense, while some may criticize the passing game, the Patriots are playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. Rhamondre Stevenson is a beast, leading a ground attack ranked 12th in the league, averaging 127 rushing yards per game. Forget the fumbles; that’s just the universe throwing obstacles in the path to greatness. With time, Stevenson’s ball security will match his explosive playmaking ability, making him one of the most feared backs in the NFL. Yes, the offensive line has had some hiccups, but that’s just part of the Patriots’ master plan to build resilience. The team is rotating through linemen at a breakneck pace, preparing for a future where no other franchise will be able to match their depth and versatility.
Jerod is Smart. S-M-R-T.
As for the quarterback situation, Jacoby Brissett and Drake Maye are part of a visionary strategy designed to slowly but surely cultivate a future superstar. The Patriots aren’t concerned with short-term optics; they are focused on building a sustainable system that will once again make them perennial favorites in the AFC.
Mark it down—this team is on the brink of something special. Give them time, and they may soon reign over the AFC East again.
First the East, then the Conference, and then…who knows?
Note: Old Friend ‘Uncle Gizmo’ took a cue from a recent Entitled Town podcast. He input into ChatGPT: “I’d like to create a story in the current style of Albert Breer. It would be a glowing story about New England Patriots coach Jerod Mayo and would use as its base Patriots media releases for the last month.” The first result wasJerod Mayo: The Emerging Leader Patriots Fans Always Needed.You just read the follow-up, written after NFL Week 5.
Please join us in wishing a very Happy 14th Birthday to Football Cat!
In lieu of gifts please show your support by purchasing some wonderful genuine merchandise. Football Cat’s birthday comes but once a year, so splash out some of that cash you’ve been accumulating from following the picks.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Ravens (-9) at Browns Unless the Browns are starting Tippi Hedren at quarterback, expect the Scary Black Birds to run rampant.
They should remake this movie with cats.
Titans at Lions (-11.5) Jungle Kings bounce Tits
Colts at Texans (-6) Texans corral the Colts
Get along little kitties!
Packers (-4.5) at Jaguars Pack Men make mincemeat out of the jet-lagged Spotty Cats
Not again!
Cardinals at Dolphins (-3) Drips dizzy Dolphins drop Deacons
Jets (-7) at Patriots Mayo is not handing in his D.O.R just yet. Jets crash and burn. Love lifts us up where we belong.
He’s got nowhere else to go!
Falcons (-2.5) at Buccaneers Mmmmm, creamsicles.
With just 100 calories per bar, it’s the classic ice cream on a stick dessert that you can enjoy without guilt.
Eagles at Bengals (-2.5) Stripey Cats feast on American Birds
The Migratory Bird Treaty Act was not violated in the making of this image.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Saints at Chargers (-7.5) Saint Eligius’ gang defeats the Saints
Yes, even electricians have a patron Saint.
Bills (-3) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds upset Hairy Cows
Bears (-2.5) at Commanders Marxist Mariota leads the Commies to victory
“Quarterbacks control the means of offensive production.”
Panthers at Broncos (-9) Black Cats have trouble adapting to the thin air
At altitude, cats prefer hockey.
Chiefs (-10) at Raiders Mahomes’ team finally defeats Brady’s team
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Cowboys at 49ers (-4.5) Federales rob gold diggers
Badges? Badges! We don’t need to show you any stinking badges!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Giants at Steelers (-6.5) Giants can’t defeat Men of Steel
Good luck getting a kid into “Walter’s International Wax Museum” for 40 cents nowadays.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Celebrities expected to be in attendance for the Celtics season-opener included Jeannine Russell, The Duke & Duchess of Athol, Donnie Wahlberg, Shaboozey, Benson Boone, Kai Cenat, Ron Catamount Muskmelon, 21 Savage, Metro Boomin, MBTA Flailin, Gord Marley, A$AP Ferg, Ja’Whaun Bentley, Davon Godchaux, Yung Lil Young, Zeppo Wahlberg, Shukri Wight, the cast of ‘Rescue: Hi-Surf’, and Nibi the Educational Beaver.
Felger should make “Tony, I Think You Had Something You Wanted to Say First?” a weekly feature.
Mookie needed 1927 Yankees Murderers Row protection to break out of his playoff blues.
Albuterol is still the best way to avoid wheezing a lot of bed.
The wax figure on the Liberty Mutual ads is by far the worst iteration of this series.
Who said D-Hop?
Looking forward to having the Dugie rally at City Hall if the Yankees win.
Cakes are cooking for Ang Lee, Dwight Yoakam, Weird Al Yankovic, Doug Flutie, Mike Tomczak, Al Leiter, Kevin Henry, Sanjay Gupta, Keith Van Horn, Cat Deeley, Ryan Reynolds, Pedro Liriano, Izabel Goulart, Emelia Clarke, Leah Van Dale, Fábio Tavares, Margaret Qualley, and Nick Bosa
Precious Achiuwa sounds like the name of a fat Lhasa Apso.
Lynx got jobbed.
Hey gang of paranormal pursuers! This week’s Phrase That Pays is, “To see the ghost, you must first believe in the ghost.”
Stammertime, welcome to Smashville.
Did TNT cut away to commercial because Paul Pierce had floated up into the TD Garden rafters too?
Honey Flower Dan Cong (also called Phoenix Mountain Oolong) is the best tea and it has been unfindable for months and it appears it has come back into stock in the US and is also way less expensive than it was last year. Big win for me.
Orange Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at Forest Hills.
LeBron James the Younger debuting to play with his father was one of the most heartwarming painfully forced moments you’ll ever see.
Mercury Morris was the only thing stopping the Chiefs from going undefeated.
Bill Belichick was never 1-6. Bill Belichick never described his own team as “soft.” Bill Belichick never got the pass Jerod Mayo is getting right now. Mayo at 1-6 is treated better than Belichick was at 6-1.
Cousy is a cvnt hair away from being Jimmy Carter.
“Fernandomania” was a blast for baseball fans. Farewell to a Dodgers legend.
Charismatic megafauna!
Ime Udoka would have been at the banner raising if he knew white Cooz was gonna be there! What?
I see people saying that the Dodgers/Yankees series will get great TV ratings. Is that your belief? Because I’m skeptical. Put the two hardest teams in baseball to root for head-to-head, you really think that will draw big numbers?
Ridin’ in the bus down the boulevard, And the place was pretty packed, yeah. Couldn’t find a seat so I had to stand, With the perverts in the back/
It was smellin’ like a locker room, There was junk all over the floor. We’re already packed in like sardines, But we’re stoppin’ to pick up more, look out!
Another one rides the bus, another one rides the bus, Another comes on and another comes on, Another one rides the bus; Hey, he’s gonna sit by you, another one rides the bus.
Retire? Are you kidding? The Sultan of Stat would never let down his loyal subjects (that’d be you and math).
Fun Fact: Entitled Town has an IMDB Page.
The Patriots are missing Rhamondre Stevenson, Layden Robinson, Ja’Lynn Polk and Curtis Jacobs from today’s practice Vederian Lowe returned, but looked limited. Keion White also looked limited.
Honk if you waited in line when the iPod was released.
Steve Kerr told TNT to go to commercial.
Imagine hitching your wagon to Mayo’s movable North star.
The Yankees installing Boone as manager for life is kinda weird. Like if the Red Sox had won the 2003 ALCS and then made Trot Nixon manager.
Clams hurt themselves posing with the WNBA trophy? Smdh.
Best bet for the weekend: the Fighting Irish over the Fightin’ Seabees.
It does always come back to baseball, Colin and Nick.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Mayo on the hot seat?
And a happy birthday to Brazilian fashion model Izabel Goulart.
Congratulations on all that sweet cash you made following last week’s picks (10-3 against the spread, and 11-2 straight up – not that we’re keeping track). As a way of saying “thank you”, head on over to the official The 15 Store and load up on some genuine merch during the big October sale.
I can’t believe this awesome shirt is on sale for only $16!
SUNDAY TEA TIME Patriots at Jaguars (-5.5) Spotty cats lose to New England in Olde England.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Bengals (-4.5) at Browns Stripey cats use the Dog Pound as their litter box.
It’s actually an improvement.
Lions at Vikings (-1.5) Jungle Kings knee cap the Vi-Kings
Texans at Packers (-3.5) Texans grind up the Meat Men
Someone get Upton Sinclair on the phone.
Eagles (-3.5) at Giants Baby New York wins the game, but loses the Belichick Bowl.
And they have pretzels
Dolphins at Colts (-3.5) Drips dizzy Dolphins dropped
Seahawks at Falcons (-2.5) Real birds defeat fake sea birds.
Titans at Bills (-8.5) You’ll see tits on a bull before you see the Tits beat the Bills.
Superfluous
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Panthers at Commanders (-7.5) The Swamp Things may not be as good as they’ve looked, but the Black Cats are worse than they’ve looked.
Raiders at Rams (-5.5) Cleveland-LA-St. Louis-LA Rams win the Transient Bowl over the Oakland-LA-Oakland-Las Vegas Raiders
I once faced down the devil.
Chiefs at 49ers (-1) 49ers win the Super Bowl rematch, but don’t actually avenge the loss, then spiral into a deep depression.
I’m sorry, did you say something? I wasn’t listening.
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Jets at Steelers (-1.5) Men of Steel master Metropolis
It’s a bird…it’s a plane… no wait, it’s eaten the bird… all the birds.
MONDAY EARLY PROWL TIME Ravens (-3.5) at Buccaneers Scary Black Birds get Buccan-owned
MONDAY ACTUAL PROWL TIME Chargers (-2.5) at Cardinals The bad night for birds continues as the pretty Red Birds get zapped.
Shocking!
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Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Being a Patriots captain is like being the drummer for Spinal Tap.
‘Look What You Made Me Do’ after a Celtics win hits hard. The most disrespected Champions of all time are on a mission this year. I can’t wait.
Bruins: 41-41 here we come?
I know I’m in the super minority, but AVP had a good day Sunday- and while the discord today is typical, it’s also frivolous.
Cakes are cooking for Bob Weir, David Zucker, Falcão, Sue Pedersen, Tony Carey, Melissa Belote, Roger Phegley, Tim Robbins, Gary Kemp, Bob Mould, Val Skinner, Billy Taylor, Durga McBroom, Flea, Missy Hyatt, German Titov, Tom Tolbert, Joe Murphy, Wendy Wilson, Chad Grey, Darius Kasparaitis, Jermaine Lewis, Paul Kariya, Kellie Martin, John Mayer, Mary Halvorson, Sue Bird, Bryce Harper, and Naomi Osaka.
A nice tribute to Johnny and the other one by the Blue Jackets.
Brian Burns is showing why the Rams were willing to give up two first-round picks for him a few years ago. A massive talent.
Imagine if you had an ambidextrous schizophrenic pitcher? It would be like having two players for the price of one.
Why did I even buy a motorcycle off Temu?
The worst Boston free-agent walk-away since Carlton Fisk? Dave Goucher.
The advertising budgets for some of these Big Pharma psychosomatic drug commercials is outrageous.
Get your plants and veggies in before Thursday.
Do the Jaguars have a deeply discounted season ticket program for pretend bisexuals?
Hey Six Sigma gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “People who try & place catchy names on any process show they really aren’t doing shit.”
Orange Line Reminder: Service has resumed between North Station and Back Bay. Shuttle Buses will operate between Back Bay and Forest Hills through Oct 20. Commuter Rail alternates are available.
It will never not be funny to me that my phone autocorrects Brissett to brisket, no matter how many times I type it. #lol
My toxic trait is that I keep sleeping with my window open because I love the cold but get mad when I wake up with my sinuses in absolute shambles.
You can see the mornin’, but I can see the light Try, try, try, let it ride While you’ve been out runnin’, I’ve been waitin’ half the night Try, try, try, let it ride
And would you cry if I told you that I lied And would you say goodbye, or would you let it ride? And would you cry if I told you that I lied And would you say goodbye, or would you let it ride?
Joe Murray runs his own show but has to do his own headlines too. That’s hardcore, man. Props to you brother.
Ethel is such a hot name.
“Three Kings” ran in one big theater. We had a one-night premiere screening of “Drive Me Crazy”. I was in HELL that night. We had “American Beauty” in one theater, “Random Hearts” in one theater & opened “Fight Club” in one of our big theaters. We had to swap “Random Hearts.”
The Texans could have showed up wearing their lettermen jackets and still won.
They’re not even gonna try to fix the Trop with clear plastic sheeting and a whole mess of Flex Seal?
Honk if you remember Baby Jessica.
SF49’ers sign a kicker who could play against the Chiefs on Sunday after his missed playoff kick in January was a reason they played the Chiefs in Super Bowl LVIII.
A Hockey Club sandwich would hit the spot right now.
Peter King says Lamar Jackson calls him “Mr. Peter”. I don’t think that’s the token of respect Fatty thinks it is.
Bruins fandom needs more Laurens.
It would be fun if, when a baseball team fires six coaches, they would be required to file a five-page report on each firing, explaining in detail what it was that that coach did wrong.
If you aren’t sure what a phrase means, maybe hold off on using it.
Best bet for the weekend: Pats depart Wembley as winners.
It’s like Rodgers is the GM!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Takitaki!
BdlG. So Fall-coded. She had a birthday this week too. Or will have one. So mysterious!
Happy Columbus Day/Canadian Thanksgiving/Indigenous Peoples’ Day weekend to all who celebrate. If you’re NOT looking for something to do this weekend, make sure to check out the Fall Event Avoidance Generator. Otherwise make sure to dress warmly whilst you enjoy the foliage train.
Of course I’m having fun. Why do you ask?
SUNDAY TEA TIME Jaguars at Bears (-2) The Shaguars love playing in London.
Yeah Baby!
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Cardinals at Packers (-5) Meat men make mince-meat of pretty Red Birds.
Texans (-7) at Patriots Rod Rust will be one game closer to popping that heavenly champagne. 1-16 here we come!
They really needed the “Friday Funny” back in 1990
Buccaneers (-3.5) at Saints Hopefully this win will help the residents of Florida’s Gulf Coast heal.
Commanders at Ravens (-6.5) Black Birds fend off the Swamp Things.
Murderous Crows!
Browns at Eagles (-9) Predators over Sexual Predators.
Colts at Titans (-2.5) Will Levis is tanned and rested, and ready to lead the Titans to another loss.
Put me in, coach
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Chargers (-3) at Broncos Broncos bust Bolts.
Steelers (-3) at Raiders Rooneys rout Raiders.
Falcons (-6) at Panthers
It’s a shameful day in the community when the Black Cats lose to a bunch of birds.
Shame!
Lions (-3) at Cowboys Kings of the Beasts bests the ‘Boys
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Bengals (-3.5) at Giants Stripey Cats save their season by cutting the Giants down to size.
I can see East Rutherford from up here!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Bills (-2.5) at Jets The new coach bounce gets the Jets into a tie for first place in the pathetic AFC East
*Football Cat cannot be held responsible for any loss that maybe be incurred as a result of following the betting tips provided on this site. If you or someone you know has a sports betting or gambling problem, please call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit The National Council on Problem Gambling for more information and further assistance. In Massachusetts call 1-800-327-5050 (MA).
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Swayman had got his contract signed. Our short, regional nightmare is now over.
Thank God the Patriots made the Maye announcement on Tuesday. It would have been a shame if the Texans didn’t have a full week to prepare.
Be careful out there, Floridian friends.
Peppers has made $34MM in his career and rents an apartment in Braintree? He should be cut for that reason alone.
“Hey, can I ruin your photo?” – ‘Fitzy’
Luis Clemente Tiant Vega; taken from us too soon. Cigars and a crazy wind-up. He was called, ‘El Tiante’, which means, ‘The Tiante.’ Rest in peace, amigo.
Do the Mohegans have a legend about a wily Lynx defeating the Sun? Maybe they should.
It’s not Giancarlo’s fault! Bob Costas is basically what everyone always said Joe Buck is.
So the Manning’s spent time wondering if Matt Patricia had a special pencil that worked on a laminated play sheet? Another chess move by Bill.
Cakes are cooking for Nona Hendryx, Jackson Browne, Brian Downing, Richard Chaves, Sharon Osbourne, Tony Shalhoub, James Fearnley, John O’Hurley, Scott Bakula, Don Garber, Ini Kamoze, Michael Paré, Mike Singletary, Trevor Matich, Guillermo del Toro, Dwayne Sabb, Polly Jean Harvey, Annika Sorenstam, Kenny Anderson, Brandon Pollard, Dexter McCleon, Steve Burns, Sean Lennon, Nick Swardson, Brian Roberts, Henrik Zetterberg, Marie Kondo, Jacob Batalon, and Ben Shelton.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at Wood Island.
I just got beeped at in drive thru line at Doughboy. It’s rather concerning if the general public no longer understands the concept of a drive thru line.
It’s almost like choosing as Belichick’s heir apparent a man whose post-playing career talent ceiling is ‘casino greeter at Plainridge’ was a bad idea.
Veal Parm is the greatest of Parms for Subs.
Hey gang of incurable romantics, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Everyone knows that the portion of the brain used for critical thinking is markedly less developed in women, honey.”
I’m fine with it not being tonight and surprised Goldberg wasn’t getting that Saudi check versus Gunther, but you gotta pull the trigger on Sami, Great matches with Gunther, Cody, Roman all as challenger. The Sami Hogan shit is corny. Put the belt on him in the next 12 months
It’s 2024, don’t get offended if I tell you i won’t eat your dish made with Rao’s or Ragu jarred sauce. it’s not that serious. I don’t like it, you cannot change my mind. I am sure you are a wonderful cook. it’s not personal
First they came for William Bendetson, and I said nothing…
Someone should ask Mayo if he knows he can make these decisions without consulting the press.
I have a peck of apples to eat from last weekend!
What do you call “imposter syndrome” when it’s not a syndrome?
Tasing is lame. Just shoot him.
Vegans and people from Texas; They’re going to shoehorn that fact into every conversation in any way that they can.
Look, he’s crawling up my wall. Black and hairy, very small. Now he’s up above my head. Hanging by a little thread.
Boris the spider. Boris the spider.
Now he’s dropped on to the floor Heading for the bedroom door. Maybe he’s as scared as me. Where’s he gone now, I can’t see.
Boris the spider. Boris the spider.
Just when I thought D daddy bald daddy NBA champion daddy White couldn’t be any cooler. I need this hoodie of him tucking in Tatum’s best friend the Larry O’Brien Trophy into bed immediately
The world does need Rat Shovelers.
The Kraft’s have their team back. It’s an awful, irrelevant team, but hey, it’s theirs!
Honk if you remember Dean Smith.
When the Red Wings fans throw an octopus onto the ice, the team either needs to have a player leave the ice or they get called for a too many men penalty.
Joe Kelly is the modern Moe Drabowsky.
Yaaaaa Sully … Mayo’s got a plan, kid, yaaaaaaaaa!
A: Nothing, she’s already been told twice.
Few things are more annoying than when the referees constantly delay the game by making unnecessary “Delay of Game” calls. Hold up the game 20 seconds because the snap was a half-second late.
Drake Maye’s lifelong dream is about to come true and Greg Dickerson thinks he should be depressed.
Best bet for the weekend: someone earns their True Yankee pinstripes.
Where did Mayo get these captain’s patches, Needful Things?
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Creepy, crawly, creepy creepy crawly crawly.
Happy Birthday to The L Word actress Erin Daniels.
“Right now, they’re teetering on a mutiny in that locker room.”
Yesterday, during the broadcast of the ‘Catch-22’ podcast on the Patriots Podcast Network, (a part of the actual ‘Patriots Media Cartel’) Senior Reporter Evan Lazar offered his assessment of the tenor of the team’s mental state:
Right now, they’re teetering on a mutiny in that locker room. And I don’t want to be alarmist or like hyper, what’s the word? (Co-host Alex Barth: “Hyperbolic?”) I don’t want to speak for, yeah, hyperbolic, thank you, I don’t but I was in that locker room after the game on Sunday; the defense is mad at the defense, the offense is mad at the offense, you have young receivers who are literally throwing tantrums on film in Pop Douglas and Ja’Lynn Polk, and good on Pop Douglas owning that this weekend and kind of saying he’s got to be better and all that kinda stuff but I said this before and I’ll say it again you’re at the point now with 52 other guys in that locker room that all watch these two quarterbacks practice every single day and all know that they drafted Drake Maye 3rd overall and at what point in time do some of these guys say to themselves, “Why am I going out there and getting my butt kicked every single Sunday and Drake can’t? Like what am I going out there with the quarterback who can’t get me the football when we have the Ferrari back in the garage that can get me the football but I’m supposed to, I’m Ja’Lynn Polk and I’m supposed to go run every single route as hard as I can and I’m supposed to lay it all out there?’
A leader of men. Learned the ropes on HMS Optum.
Not a difficult scene to picture for a team that had lost their previous three games after winning their season opener under rookie Head Coach Jerod Mayo. But then something odd occurred:
Earlier today @ezlazar reportedly said the Patriots are "teetering on a mutiny in that locker room.” I was watching the podcast looking for that part, paused it for a minute, and then got this: pic.twitter.com/k2MIbrrnKQ
When the podcast audio had been restored, any reference to ‘mutiny’ had been removed. This had the counterproductive effect of drawing attention to the podcast and the discontent in the locker room. A classic example of the Streisand Effect.
Nice house, Babs.
Audio is still up on Apple and Spotify. It’s from the 57:30 mark. They scrubbed out the part where Lazar called it a mutiny. Funny stuff. pic.twitter.com/AdBEqDTj1p
After this unfortunate gaffe, Evan was doubtless summoned to a meeting with the higher ups:
And after a brief yet productive struggle session, he cheerfully recanted any statements that could be seen as deleterious to the image of the Patriots organizations one big happy collaborative enterprise:
“I got carried away. There is no mutiny in the locker room. I am being treated well. I have been given a blanket. The Red Cross will visit me soon with letters from my family.”
“It’s a dang mutanty!”
I will let this summarize our position on the matter, and give IH the last word:
I am struggling to think of anything more damning than an organization worth ~$10B overreacting to an in-house employee's throwaway line on a podcast no one listens to by scrubbing the audio after it's been released just to create a larger problem.
More wins than losses Week 4. How many more? Exactly enough, wise guy. Week Five:
(Bye week teams: Pumas, Plugs, Phils, & Pontoons)
SUNDAY TEA TIME Jets vs Vikings (-2.5) Biggest Viking defeat in England since the Battle of Stamford Bridge back in 1066.
Wot wot?
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Panthers at Bears (-4) Black Panthers haven’t partied like this since the days of Bobby Seale and Huey Newton.
You dig?
Ravens (-2.5) at Bengals Stripey cats take down scary black birds.
Bills (-1) at Texans Tatanka topple Texans.
Sorry ’bout that pardner.
Colts at Jaguars (-3) Spotted cats will need to leave the country to find a win.
Dolphins at Patriots (-1) Mayo’s mutineers drop Coach Drip.
I’ll take any mutineers nose and hang them by the highest yard marker!
Browns at Commanders (-3) Mystical fairy men get bogged down in the Maryland malarial swamp.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Raiders at Broncos (-3) What do you call a giant hill made of kittens? A meow-tain! (Try the veal, tip your waitresses and take Denver.)
erk!
Cardinals at 49ers (-7.5) Purrrdy feasts on pretty Red Birds.
Packers (-3.5) at Rams Meat men master muttons.
Giants at Seahawks (-6) Fake Sea Birds sasquatch the Giants
Is that BSJ’s John Karalis?
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Cowboys at Steelers (-2.5) Men of Steel win the Super Bowl X, XIII, and XXX rematches!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Saints at Chiefs (-5) After KC wins they will have successfully completed the first quarter of their inevitable march to a perfect season/three-peat.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Too many, too soon, no more Super Sky Points please!
It’s okay, Pete Rose only bet on himself to make 84.
Like two minutes into his first game and I’m already sick of all the Bruins skirts calling Zadorov, “Zaddy.”
WHO WANTS TO FAWCETT MUTOMBO!?
Jerod Mayo doesn’t have a plan, “Eliot and I” have a plan. That rat fuck mentions “Elliot” more than E.T.
For what it’s worth, I hoped that the Red Sox won Game 162 if only so Joe Castiglione can call a win in his final game. Call me sentimental, but that matters more to me than a draft pick.
Those 30 million Pete Rose-signed baseballs just went up $.03 in value.
Have to wonder if Chris Sale’s psychosomatic back spasms are a result of guilt surfacing from his subconscious about how much money he’s stolen.
Cakes are cooking for Dick Barnett, Don McLean, Skip Konte, Avery Brooks, Donna Karan, Annie Liebovitz, Michael Rutherford, Bill Elliott, Sting, Lorraine Bracco, Philip Oakey, Gordie Roberts, Glenn Anderson, Mark Rypien, Sheila Echols, Floyd “Bud” Gaugh, Eddie Guardado, Kelly Ripa, Tiffany, Aaron McKie, Lene Nystrøm, Paul Teutul Jr, Tyson Chandler, Phil Kessel, Ricky Stenhouse Jr, and Brittany Howard.
This postseason, MLB should replace John Smoltz with Tom Hardy doing the Bane voice for one inning and *not* explain it at all, just having him call the game straight up.
I still have no fucking clue what Dirty Water TV actually is. But I love that they only hire shameless whores.
AHL jobbers taking runs at real NHL players in fake games. Smdh.
Notice that a hurricane never *moves* toward land, or *races* toward land; they always *barrel.* Not sure how that became the go-to word.
Green Line Update: Shuttle buses will continue to replace service today between North Station and Medford/Tufts & Union Sq. Union Sq. riders can use bus routes 86, 87, or 91 to connect to shuttles or the Orange Line.
With all the love shown to Joe Castiglione this year, you’d think WEEI’s ratings would be better than they are.
Joey Slye could be your kicker for the next 10 years…
Hey gang of useless Hufflepuffs, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Wands up tonight my fellow Potterheads.”
RC-celeb, people glom on to anything for a shred of notoriety. Radio call-in guest has to be lower than starring in an anal warts cream commercial.
Hard to believe Wakey has been gone a year now.
Orange Line: Trains may travel at reduced speeds or stand by at stations while maintenance personnel conduct track inspections near Haymarket.
Does anyone know how old Alabama WR Ryan Williams is?
Shohei this year might be a Level-1 MVP season, whereas Dick Groat in 1960 or Jim Konstanty in 1950 are like. ..well, they had to give the award to somebody, I guess. Level 10 MVPs.
Everyone hated ESPN’s Christian Yelich in-game interview.
Every time I see bicyclists while driving now, I think of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. They should still be here.
Wait, actors have imposter syndrome? Isn’t that their job?
NESN ‘borrowed’ the MSG feed to honor Sam Rosen who has been calling games since 1984 and is retiring at the end of the season you clueless slob. At least that what I heard!
In a couple of days we should learn how much his injury settlement lowered Armon Watts’ cap number of $2,169,765.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia has big shoes to fill in taking over for Jeff Trundy as manager of the Falmouth Commodores in the Cape Cod Baseball League next summer.
No, you give me $5!
Dame Maggie Smith, RIP. Always thought she was the Penguin in The Blues Brothers but that was Kathleen Freeman.
Dirty Water TV is like the early ‘90’s Simpsons writers’ room for braindead whores.
Jerod Mayo says it is “definitely under consideration” that RB Antonio Gibson starts over Rhamondre Stevenson on Sunday after Stevenson has fumbled in each of the first four games.
Seventy-three men sailed up From the San Francisco Bay. Rolled off of their ship, and here’s what they had to say; “We’re callin’ everyone to ride along to another shore. We can laugh our lives away and be free once more.”
But no one heard them callin’ No one came at all. ‘Cause they were too busy watchin’ those old raindrops fall. As a storm was blowin’ out on the peaceful sea, Seventy-three men sailing off to history
Ride, captain ride upon your mystery ship. Be amazed at the friends you have here on your trip. Ride captain ride upon your mystery ship. On your way to a world that others might have missed.
I was blessed to see Addams Family Values on tv. Raul Julia was a master actor. I miss him so much.
Castiglione has been a leading Clemens propagandist for decades.
I can’t believe they went to a mini pride rally and a WNBA Playoff game broke out!
Every white dude ends up looking like a lesbian eventually.
ESPN keeping Kendrick Perkins over Zach Lowe might be worse than when the Sixers kept Tobias Harris over Jimmy Butler.
Honk if you remember Steve Sabol.
Can October be scripted? It’s tempting to say yes, but I say no.
Had a dream last night that DeVonta Smith was on the New England Patriots. No idea what year it was.
Jerry Tarkanian must be spinning in his grave seeing UNLV failing to pay players.
“At least Rashee Rice went out doing what he loved. Ending a drive with a horrible collision and immediately leaving the scene.” -Brandon Carney
Does Boston College play John Ashcroft’s ‘Let the Eagle Soar’ after football games? Well they should.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory reminds me of baseball. There were the awful kids who were there for the wrong reasons, and there was Charlie, who just loved candy. Maybe it’s childish, but baseball needs owners who are Charlie’s, not Veruca Salt’s & Mike TeaVee’s.
Is ‘Center’ an important position in football? Because it sounds important.
Red sox may or may not increase payroll, may or may not increase ticket prices, may or may not miss the playoffs again next season. Super. Good press conference.
A happy Rosh Hashanah to all my friends who celebrate.
Spike Lee pretend to be a Liberty fan now?
Best bet for the weekend: Pats going to get their teeth kicked in by a man named ‘Snoop’.
Less than ideal.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Come And Get Your Love.
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