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12/24/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on December 24, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*Build a snowfort with a sally port at Snowport!*

Thank you to our partner, Karma Asian Fusion, for providing a delicious holiday sushi lunch to the local collaborative today!

You’d think the 40 pounds of cold weather gear Lamar was wearing might also have protected him from injury.

No offense, but I have no interest in hearing about which items are not on people’s bingo cards. Also, I had no idea so many people played bingo.

It’s almost like Joe Mazulla is a good coach and Brad Stevens is good at finding overachieving role players.

Ann Michael Maye should do follow up TikToks where she cleans up the Bakemas mess she made in her kitchen.

Take a few days off, Bruins. It’s needed.

It doesn’t matter what NFL teams are playing… whenever a starting quarterback goes out with an injury, I just assume Gardner Minshew is coming in to replace him.

Is signing Wilson Contreras smile-worthy?

The athletes do a great job of not hitting fans, usually.

Cakes are cooking for Bob Lobel, Ian Burden, Michael Flynn, Lee Daniels, Carol Vorderman, Jay Wright, Gavin O’Connor, Jay Bilas, Mary Ramsey, Mark Valley, Deidrich Bader, Ricky Martin, Stephenie Meyer, Ryan Seacrest, and Riyo Mori.

My favorite Christmas movie is the one where they use Darlene Love during a montage.

George Pickens will make a ton of NIL money in the Transfer Portal (free agency).

Lifting to slow jams is underrated.

If Mike Tirico was calling the Miracle on Ice, he’d yell out that they still have to beat Finland.

Honestly, at this point everyone should just block Variety. They clearly WANT to spoil the moviegoing experience in advance. They like the engagement. Just mute/block them altogether.

Aita and Fajardo sound like Boston restaurants that closed this year.

Coach Vrabes always looks like he’s trying to remember if he unplugged the iron before he left the house.

Sex crimes aside, the island looks pretty cool.

It’s a tragedy that Jimmy the Greek never got to lay eyes on Derrick Henry.

Hey gang enjoying their time off, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “That beard must smell like a ferret.”

I love Nike Dri-Fit shirts.

Orange Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at Jackson. Personnel are on-scene to resolve the problem. Trains may stand by at stations.

Pit Beef isn’t a rapper who just died?

I hadn’t watched GREMLINS in ages. Caught it the other night and realized that’s where QT boosted the ending for INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. (I’m sure it’s been pointed out elsewhere several times.)

I don’t even know why Oprah is in this graphic.

Circling back to my use of CC watching ‘The Wire’, I was unfamiliar with the S1 lingo. It was largely local drug parlance. So I went to subtitles and it informed me in a way that was much better to understand the show. And it’s also done the same for so many others.

I always look forward to the Celtics account’s Injury Report tweets to see if Tatum is still on it.

Tony Dungy looks like Red Skull in a BET version of Captain America.

I just spent an obscene amount of time explaining to my daughters that the Chiefs’ Kansas City is in Missouri, not Kansas. And now I’ve gotta put the toothpaste back into that tube?!?

Yes, I call individual black men, ‘the brother.’ I’m Richard Roundtree.

Brooklyn Raines – MLS player or OnlyFans porn star?

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can’t make it all alone
I’ve built my dreams around you,

The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing Galway Bay
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day.

Not a bad time to catch up on podcasts and Taylor Sheridan TV shows.

2026 can’t get here fast enough…2025 absolutely sucks…of all the shitty stuff this year, the icing on the cake is apparently Dollar Tree no longer carries the Animal Crackers I am addicted to.

I’ve never seen an Asian broad with nice teeth.

Our Boston sports family will learn the hard way. Every single one of them.

Yhoiker Fajardo is both a great and terrible name.

Honk if you remember the Bruins going over the dasher and into the stands at Madison Square Garden.

Darryl Johnston does not shut the fuck up.

A wild Home Alone fact. The Christmas film came out in 1991 and was such a hit in Europe that “Kevin” became the most popular baby name in France, Germany and Netherlands for a few years.

That Corona “O Christmas Tree” whistling ad gets my dog’s attention every time.

Happy Festivus to all the losers and haters.

Best bet for the weekend: Wasabi. Fenway. Bowl.

*Why can’t we get associated with holidays like that?*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.

*And a Merry Christmas from actress/singer Taylor Momsen, seen here wearing her old Cindy Lou Who costume from ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas*‘.

The 2025 Christmas/Holiday Mixtape Playlist

Posted on December 23, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

(Dear The15net dot com Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is a musical playlist for your particular winter holiday enjoyment. And everyone else who stayed off the naughty list this year. Click HERE to download. Additional song suggestions are welcomed in the comments. )

Mary, Did You Know That Bert Bell Invented the NFL Draft? – Upton Bell & The Drells

Roger Got Run Over By A Reindeer (Unfortunately) – The Skulking Muskrats

Carol of the Fog Bells – Foxboro Human Shield Chorale

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (and a few doctors) – the Bowen 5

Can They Hear What I Hear, Mike? – Live Zzam

Let It Snow 3.5″ According to my Ruler in Mansfield, MA – BHL

Rich Tried to Put Me on Santa’s Naughty List – Ferrante & Toettcher

Away in a Pallet Shack – MC 34 Year Old Jesus

You Guys I’m Deathly Allergic to Rudolph the Red #5 Nosed Reindeer!!! – Kendra Middleton

Shalise Manza Young – José Feliciano

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Expect for That Sack of Shit Stever)- Carmine Tazzi

Staring at Christmas Trees – Gregory Alan Isakov

Why Can’t We Get Messiahs Like That? – Bob Lobel and the Boston Jewish Men’s Choir

Happy Xmas (War is Over, Kid) – Rear Admiral

A Visit From St. Nicholas- recited by The Honorable Thomas M. Menino (deceased)

Fairytale of New York and of Boston and of Philadelphia – The Shukes

Eight Maids a Milking was #1 on my 2021 12 Days of Christmas Draft Board – Danny Kelley

In the Bleak Mid-Winter Ratings – Brighton Chilly

I Heard the Bells on Happy Honda Days – The Herb Chambers Choir

The MutStacker Suite – The Saratoga Tiny Brass Band

I Won’t Be Home for Christmas (Or Until You Get Offline) – Mrs. Bowen and the Chatty Nurses

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel- Zesty Freddy Lynn

Hark! The Herald Is Just $1 For 1 Year If You Subscribe Now – Callahan & Kyed

Christmas In Millis – Average White Band

She Bettah Nawt Bring Him to Christmas Dinnah – Keno Snapback Guys

Greenteamersleeves – The Blehhhhs

Who Told You King Wenceslas was Good? – Oafis Redding & the Carbonless Trio

Walking in a Winter Hill Wonderland – The Feebs

Angels We Have Heard on High Got Better Ratings Than WEEI Afternoons – Arbitronix

The Christmas Song – Mensa Matt

Last Minute Gift Ideas!

Posted on December 22, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

ID 167997128 | Christmas © Anton Anton | Dreamstime.com

Hey, it’s nearly Christmas! And in the likely event you have a hard to buy for someone, we at The15 want to help. So here are some gift ideas:

Shoe rain coats, for the shoepisser(s) in your life,

Influencer Marketing for Dummies, for the Autist or Valuencer,

The Amazon 3,257,875th best-selling fiction book by Gary Tanguay, buy it and maybe he won’t creep you out by appearing on your streaming program,

2025 pennies, from the Denver and Philadelphia Mints,

Dedicated Egg Fridge, henhouse and layers sold separately,

Red Tinted Ring Light, for that perfect rosacea-y glow,

Upcycled scrap metal and other curios,

A heavily used (yet still functional) dot matrix printer,

3 season napkins, for those chilly days,

Karen Read’s Lexus

A 5 lb bag of Tom E. Curran action figures,

Red dye free hamburger buns, and Blu Blocker sunglasses,

A tiny house, culvert adjacent & perfect for weekday midmorning getaways,

RSLOSweatshirt, For the incel in your life who loves OnlyFans smokeshows and three-team parlays.

Merry Christmas everybody.

2025

Football Cat’s Week 16 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on December 19, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Do you like football? Of course you do or you wouldn’t be here. Do you like the color and pageantry of college athletics? We can see you rockin’ and reelin’, and hanging from the ceiling, so that’s a “yes”. And most importantly, do you like showtunes? *Squeals with delight!* Well Mr./Mrs./Ms./Dr. First Nighter do we have a fabulous quiz for you!

Each of the four games in this weekend’s college football playoff involves at least one team associated with a Tony Award winning Broadway musical!

Can you name the show for each matchup? (click to reveal the answer)

Alabama at Oklahoma

“Oklahoma” (Duh!)

Miami at Texas A&M

“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”

Tulane at Ole Miss

“Show Boat”

James Madison at Oregon

“Hamilton”

Saturday Dinner Time
Eagles (-6.5) at Commanders
American Birds crush the Commies

Saturday Prowl Time
Packers at Bears (-1.5)
Northwest Indiana Bears grind the Meatmen

Sunday Lunch Time
Buccaneers (-3) at Panthers
Someone has to win this game, may as well be the Black Cats

Bills (-10.5) at Browns
What can Brown do for you, Patriots fans? Nothing. Bills cruise

Chargers at Cowboys (-2.5)
Fun fact: In Weeks 12 and 13, the Cowboys defeated the Eagles and Chiefs. In Weeks 14 and 15, the Chargers defeated the Eagles and Chiefs. That was the first time that two different teams defeated the previous season’s Super Bowl teams in consecutive weeks. Bolts shock Boys

Jets at Saints (-5.5)
Saints cook Jets

Thanks to the cooking Saints at the Nashua Soup Kitchen!

Vikings (-3) at Giants
Vikings sink tanking G-Men

Chiefs (-3) at Titans
Tits motorboat Mahomes-less Chiefs

Bengals (-4.5) at Dolphins
Stripey cats win vs Quinn the Fin

Sunday Dinner Time
Falcons (-3) at Cardinals
Raptors raid pretty red birds nest

Jaguars at Broncos (-3)
Spotty cats can’t handle the (atmospheric) pressure

Steelers at Lions (-7)
Jungle Kings can’t be caged by Steel Men

Raiders at Texans (-14.5)
Texans toast Vegas

Sunday Prowl Time
Patriots at Ravens (-3)
Road warriors roll Ravens

Glad tidings to all the Drake-A-Maniacs!

Monday Prowl Time
49ers (-6) at Colts
Purrrrdy pops Ponies

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 16 Picks

Posted on December 20, 2024 by naop Leave a comment

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style, in the air there’s a feeling of Christmas. And in the spirit of the holiday season, the animals of The 15, and animals adjacent to The 15, have pooled their meager resources and gifted Football Cat a well deserved week off.

SATURDAY LUNCH TIME
Texans at Chiefs (-2.5)
Marv thinks that, while the Chiefs may appear harmless, KC will suddenly snap and go for the Texans jugular.

SATURDAY DINNER TIME
Steelers at Ravens (-6.5)
Jocko isn’t a fan of the Black Birds, he takes the Steelers.

SUNDAY LUNCH TIME
Cardinals (-4.5) at Panthers
Jocko also isn’t a fan of the Black Cats, he takes the Cardinals.

Giants at Falcons (-9)
Rams (-3) at Jets
Spuckie the rat loves both New York teams to at least cover.

Spuckie loved going on long walks with his owner LJ Sandwich (OOTGs)

Lions (-6.5) at Bears
Gus takes Detroit in a huge bounce back game in chilly Chicago after a loss against Buffalo.

Titans at Colts (-3.5)
Millie says to lay it all on the Tits

Eagles (-3.5) at Commanders
Remi takes the Eagles over the Commanders.

Browns at Bengals (-7.5)
The Cleveland Pig digs the Browns (and truffles).

SUNDAY DINNER TIME
Vikings (-3) at Seahawks
Loki wishes he could fly like a real non-existent Seahawk.

Jaguars at Raiders (-1)
And Jocko really doesn’t like the Black Hole!

49ers at Dolphins (-1)
Jasper would prefer backing a team from Virginia Beach, but Miami Beach is a close second.

Patriots at Bills (-14)
Bo has unwavering faith in the Coach Quick Slants.

SUNDAY PROWL TIME
Buccaneers (-4) at Cowboys
Dooze loves the Cowboys especially when they play with their roof open.

Did you hear about the dog park on the moon?

MONDAY PROWL TIME
Saints at Packers (-13.5)
Paco backs the Meat Men, preferably with a nice coating of Rub Smoke Love BEEF CAKE premium all-natural beef rub and seasoning.

All the best food seasonings are sold at True Value

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 15 Picks

Posted on December 13, 2024 by naop One comment

Interns beware! It’s that festive time of year again, tonight is the “The 15’s Annual Office Holiday Party”. ( It used to be the “The 15’s Annual Office Christmas Party”, but Carl did 23andMe this past year and, oy gevalt, he’s suddenly kosher.) But have no fear! Whether you spin the dreidel, or your savior was born in a stable, all you have to do is follow Football Cat’s 7 simple tips for a funtastic Office Holiday Party…

Spot the total number HR violations in this picture! Whoever comes closest will win a bonus day off* ^_(*unpaid)

Show Up: You do not want to be labeled as a party pooper. Get your ass to the party, they’ll be free drinks (see Tip #2).
Drink: Drink! There’s nothing people like more than talking about the person who had too much to drink at the office party. You’re just providing a public service.
Eat: If you don’t eat, you’ll get drunk too fast (see Tip #2). It’s science.
Dance: On the floor, on the table (see Tip #2) , whatever it takes.
Talk to the Big Boss: Make sure you’ve had a couple of drinks first (see Tip #2) . And make it quick. Get in, get out. Don’t linger.
Play Your Transportation By Ear: You’re going to drink (see Tip #2) so don’t drive, but don’t plan ahead either. There’s definitely someone in the office with Clara Barton Syndrome, or maybe it’s Clara Nightingale Syndrome – whichever the nice one was. It doesn’t really matter, just don’t puke in Clara’s car.
Be Prepared: Bring an extra pair of underwear, your toothbrush and your passport. You never know what will happen (see Tip #2).

Good luck and have fun (see Tip #2)!

SUNDAY LUNCH TIME
Chiefs (-4.5) at Browns
Chiefs scalp the Elves

Bengals (-5) at Titans
Stripey Cats pancake Tits

Tigers and pancakes? Someone’s getting cancelled.

Commanders (-7) at Saints
Godless Commies decanonize Saints

Ravens (-14.5) at Giants
Scary Black Birds jar Giants

Cowboys at Panthers (-2.5)
Scary Black Cats spook America’s Team

Jets (-3.5) at Jags
My Good Friend Mac finally owns!

Dolphins at Texans (-3.5)
Texans barbecue Dolphins

SUNDAY DINNER TIME
Colts at Broncos (-4)
Big Broncos corral lil’ Colts

Bills at Lions (-2.5)
Hairy Cows trample Jungle Kings

Steelers at Eagles (-5)
Yinzers take the Keystone State Cup

Patriots at Cardinals (-6)
Pretty Red Birds fly past Mayo’s men

Buccaneers at Chargers (-3)
Brother Jim Hawkins’ gang zaps swashbucklers

SUNDAY PROWL TIME
Packers (-3) at Seahawks
Fake Sea Birds aren’t in the mood for Love.

MONDAY EARLY PROWL TIME
Bears at Vikings (-7)
Vikings plunder hibernating Bears

MONDAY PROWL TIME
Falcons (-5) at Raiders
Too bad Jerry Glanville isn’t alive to see his Falcons take down the Elvis impersonators #RIP

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

12/11/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on December 11, 2024 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Mark Dondero will be visited by three spirits on Christmas. It will be his highest-rated show ever.

I was told Adam Hart’s relevance wasn’t tied to Belichick.

So I guess it would be fair to suggest that Foxboro and Mansfield left it all on Martinelli Field on Turkey Day? Still, congrats to our lone champion, North Attleboro, but also thanks to Mansfield, Foxboro and King Philip for their outstanding seasons. On to courts and rinks.

Drew Carter actively tried to get Scalabrine fired by asking him why Jay Huff is sneaky athletic.

The performative outrage about Aroldis Chapman didn’t last very long.

Pam Oliver looks like Roscoe Lee Brown with a weave.

Bruins done got Winnipegged.

I still think Dartmouth and not University Park when I hear ‘SMU.’

The Parkers giving their kid a zeppelin for Christmas of ‘40 is kinda problematic. Was the Old Man a Lindbergh guy?

Bet Bryan wishes he just admitted to being Jake.

Cakes are cooking for Rita Moreno, David Gates, Donna Mills, John Kerry, Brenda Lee, Lynda Day George, Brad Bryant, Jermaine Jackson, Stu Jackson (no relation), Mike Mesaros, Nikki Sixx, Lisa Gastineau, Mary Beth Zimmerman, Darryl Jones, Mike Henneman, Ben Browder, Cosy Sheridan, Dave Gagner, Dave Schools, Justin Currie, Thomas Howard, Jay Bell, Martin Blunt, DJ Yella, Mo’Nique, Sean Grande, Errict Rhett, Willie McGinest, Daniel Alfredsson, Mos Def, Rey Mysterio, Gerben de Knegt, Rider Strong, Zacky Vengance, Samantha Ponder, and Malcolm Brogdon.

I’m hearing that The Civ Report is doing Girl at the Game type numbers!

No buzz in here about the MLB draft lottery??

Being from Roslindale and ending up in Randolph is like being born on 2nd base and ending up on 1st.

The Hawk Tuah Girl’s cybercurrency thing wasn’t called, ‘SpitCoin?’ No wonder it crashed.

Orange Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem near Wellington.

What a collection of talent we have. We’re the fucking LA Dodgers of trolls, except all the money is deferred forever.

When an official gets hurt, I think the broadcast referee expert should suit up and take his spot.

Still not sure I can trust a guy named Ollie.

Hey gang of talentless journeymen, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “”I’m on my fourth team in five years. I think I know a little something about how the NFL works, Troy.”

Dart Adams? Still boring.

My current belief is that Gemini sometimes runs real simulations, but sometimes reports the results of hallucinated simulations. Which is obviously a problem.

I just found a bargain on a Canucks shirt on Fanatics.

Accidentally made my nephew cry by telling him I saw the elf on the shelf drinking from the toilet.

No better place to rehab your damaged image from racist emails than with Barstool.

I saw Wicked and that shit bangs so hard. It fucking rocks.

Yeah, we hate our lives, not the twin slobs who mainline 14 hours of sports radio a day.

Stockton got smoked.

A yellow ESPN alert on the ticker during a football game will never not fool me that there’s a flag.

In the future, everyone will rug a memecoin for fifteen minutes.

Azzez Al-Shaair hit Trevor Lawrence like, I don’t know, a plane hitting some sort of tall building.

Seriously, though, when is the award-winning Kendra Middleton on the radio?

Rockin’ around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop.
Mistletoe hung where you can see every couple tries to stop.
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas spirit ring.
Later, we’ll have some pumpkin pie, and we’ll do some caroling.

You will get a sentimental feelin’
When you hear.
Voices singin’, “Let’s be jolly (ooh)
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.”

Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday.
Everyone dancin’ merrily in the new old-fashioned way.

For 2025, Wilyer Abreu vs. Teoscar H is kind of a 50/50 proposition. Over the next 3 years, Wilyer will have twice as much value as Teoscar. Over 5 years, three times as much.

As a bit of a fragrance expert (I am a collector) I will be testing this Trump perfume out and reviewing it.

You can have your Dame Time. I’ll take my Holiday Time.

Sources: The New England Revolution are set to name Gillette as their new jersey sponsor. This deal has been in the works for some time.

Honk if you remember the JFK Lufthansa Heist.

Time for another December of ‘who the fuck are these people that sent us a Christmas card?’

You took what’s yours, Shawsheen Tech Rams.

Everything that you are involved in, please do the research and learn to educate yourself.

‘Chuck Terrific’ is the name DJ Bean uses at the glory holes.

Remember if you see standing water on the road you can probably get through it – it’s probably not as deep as you think.

Commissioner Silver’s performance as Nosferatu is Oscar-worthy.

I can’t believe that WEEI interviewed a guy who spent a month on the Patriots in 2005 as a Belichick expert. Well, I guess I can.

All the fanciest domiciles have “unit” in the address.

I have a Chinese symbol for the word foot tattooed on my foot.

Larry Fitz Senior is the black Curt Schilling.

Best bet for the weekend: the Kansas City Chiefs win by two scores for a change.

*“I asked Coach Tomlin if he expects Russell Wilson to return. He said, ‘most likely’, then blinked a lot. Back to you guys.”*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Red Six, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Just to win the love of a girl like you.