The 15

Great day for baseball! Let’s play two!

The New England Revolution has entered its Reign of Terror phase, unfortunately.

It must have been a short discussion about the IR between JuJu and the team.

Was Aaron Rodgers injury on 9/11 an inside job?

The Rams were carried by Tutu and Puka on Sunday. Wide receivers or a new animated series on Disney+?

100 Years. 100 Bruins greats.

Get well soon Kenley Jansen. And that’s for your next ailment too.

Tom Brady: A Patriot for life.

Cakes are cooking for Sam Neill, Melissa Leo, Nas, Frostee Rucker, Jimmy Butler, and Deshaun Watson.

BTW, Travolta’s early career run doesn’t get talked about nearly enough. From ‘75-‘81: “Welcome Back, Kotter”, Carrie, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Urban Cowboy, Blow Out. Goofy sitcom, horror, gritty urban drama, musical, faux shitkicker, and thriller right outta the gate.

If a no-look pass is thrown and not completed, did it even happen?

Hey! What up gang of numrods that understand life is more important than sports? This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m donating to his face.”

Terry Pegula and Jerry Jones seem nice.

Green Line Reminder: Service will be suspended between Lechmere and Union Square, September 18 – October 12, due to MassDOT work on Squires Bridge. Use local bus routes for service to the Green Line E Branch or Orange Line.

God bless Freddy Lynn. Living his best life without scorn.

Eventually the ‘Big-time throw’ advanced metric will just be called a “MAHOMES,” kinda like there’s an NBA advanced stat called “LEBRON.”

I’ll be stunned if the Yankees don’t severely overpay for Blake Snell.

WWE wrestler Test died in 2009? Cross him off, then!

The head coaches are such a vital part of the NFL TV show. Mike McCarthy has been in the cast for nearly 20 years and Brian Daboll has a real chance to be.

Here’s your mind-blowing fact of the day. In road games, Juan Soto has a higher OPS this year than either Ronald Acuna or Mookie Betts.

Stefon Diggs hates white women. There; I said it.

Tottenham Hotspur and NFL announced an expansion of their partnership through the 2029 – 2030 NFL season. Tottenham Hotspur Stadium will officially be the home of the NFL in the UK. A minimum of two NFL games a year will continue to be played there.

There she goes.
There she goes again.
She calls my name, pulls my train.
No one else could heal my pain.
But I just can’t contain.
This feelin’ that remains.

There she goes.
There she goes again.
Chasing down my lane.
And I just can’t contain.
This feelin’ that remains.

You could be making crispy fried soft shell crabs at home.

Mahomes. So filthy.

DJ Bean played his music? I’d have rather been at Great White’s last show.

BALL!

Honk if you remember Hurricane Gloria.

Bill Devane lied to me?

PSA: you don’t need and most likely cannot handle a Belgian Malinois. don’t do it.

Patriots. Football. Now.

McDermott wearing an NYPD hat is fitting. Looks like one of the dudes who shot Serpico.

Do you have a tow spindle?

Don’t you lie to me like I’m Montel Williams that you’re Autosaving, WordPress. We both know better.

Of course the Miami Hurricanes cheerleaders are hot.

‘Sale and Paxton need eight days of inaction’ could be the Hub’s ‘Spahn and Sain and pray for rain’ of the 21st century.

Tony Masserotti still hasn’t unlocked his Twitter account? Loser.

Best bet for the weekend: beach erosion on the Outer Cape.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Our love leads to madness.

The nigh-worthless Boston Globe should have been writing wall-to-wall columns about how Jared Remy needed to do a 30-year stretch to learn his lesson before he murdered Jennifer Martel.

Last Wednesday Warren Buffett turned 93, Last Friday Jimmy Buffett drops dead. Makes you think.

Kyle Teel has already been promoted to Double A. Is he using a disguised metal bat?

I hate the ‘Coach Prime’ nickname more than the ‘Shady’, ‘Hollywood’, and ‘Wink’ ones put together.

Bill Lee is too old for baseball. He should run for the Senate.

Well I think it’s great that Mike Reiss once a week provides a sports component to Touch & Rich’s Morning Zoo.

There’s nothing like riding an electric bicycle to a game of pickleball.

Cakes are cooking for Chrissie Hynde, Mark McCumber, Benmont Tench, Bruce Armstrong, Uta Pippig, Darren Bragg, Tom Everett Scott, Shannon Elizabeth, Mark Prior, Vera Zvonareva, Rafinha, and Evan Rachel Wood.

Florida played at Utah. Are they in the same conference now?

Why is some clothing marketed now as sleepwear? I think I’ll decide when & where I wear it, thank you.

When is someone, Chris Nolan I’m looking at you, going to make an FDR trilogy? 1st movie starts w/run for VP, getting polio, relationship w/Eleanor, governor of NY and ends w/his election as POTUS, 2nd: New Deal until the start of WW2 in Europe, 3rd: WW2 up to his death. Yalta could be its own movie.

Hey gang of blondies, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “New Englanders call water fountains bubblers.”

We lost Ken Powers over the summer? Shame.

The watch party up in heaven with Mike Leach and Jimmy Buffett is going to be a banger.

Kudos on a job…done, Chris Mortensen, you stooge. Oh, and Matthew 22:36-40 doesn’t mean it’s okay to ignore the Ninth Commandment, the one about bearing false witness against your neighbor.

Heat bugs!

There’s lots of questions about how Chris Godwin and Mike Evans will fare this season with a new QB, but they draw a great Week 1 matchup.

Red Sox pissing and shitting all over themselves and the biggest story in town is the local backup quarterback being moved to the practice squad.

Thankfully Tom Caron pronounced “Negro Leagues Museum” flawlessly.

I had this vivid dream that a phenom pitcher named Gil Thielen — I remember specifically spelling the name in the dream — was called up by the Mariners and was leading them to the World Series when I got an exclusive interview. I might be thinking too much about baseball.

Now that Gil Brandt’s dead, just imagine all the players we’ll learn he called Upton Bell about.

Best of luck to Americans Coco Gauff, Madison Keys, and Ben Shelton in the US Open Semifinals today and tomorrow.

Deuce Tatum is darker than Chris Gasper.

When I was single, I’d sleep on the comforter and put blankets over me. I never had to clean the sheets. Although not sure that is why I did it. I think I simply didn’t feel the need to pull down the comforter if I had blankets to cover me. That changed when I met my wife.

Is Sam Shaughnessy’s dad bemoaning someone receiving preferential treatment from the justice system?

It’s such a drag to want something sometime.
One thing leads to another, I know.
Was a time I wanted you for mine,
Nobody knew.
You arrived like a day and passed like a cloud.
I made a wish, I said it out loud.
Out loud in a crowd.
Everybody heard.
‘Twas the talk of the town.

Made some Gold Bark chicken thighs with a little sprinkle of Sriracha, absolutely delicious.

Honk if you remember Good Time Emporium of Somerville.

Deion Sanders? He self identifies as black which is convenient given he’s a black.

I know there is white asparagus, but are there white collard greens?

If Kelce doesn’t play, no quarterback in the history of the game will have had a worse group of offensive skill players surrounding him tonight that poor Patrick Mahomes.

Jimmy Buffett was one thing but not the Smash Mouth guy too.

Good Luck Team USA in the FIBA semifinals thingie.

Best bet for the weekend: Patriots offense getting the best of newly re-anointed super-defensive genius rocket scientist Matt Patricia.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gonna use my arms, gonna use my legs. Gonna use my style, gonna use my sidestep. Gonna use my fingers, gonna use my, my, my Imagination.

If you have no backup quarterbacks, you really don’t have any backup quarterbacks.

Anyone that booed Mookie Betts at Fenway should get the bum’s rush out the door and be told never to return.

Is all Bradford does now is guilt people into uncomfortably posing with his wrinkled shirts?

The US Navy has had an air element since 1911. The Naval Acadamy football squadron should follow suit.

Oh great, we’ve reached the night where Dave O’Brien awkwardly congratulates kids on having cancer.

Cakes are cooking for Robert Crumb, Peggy Lipton, Lewis Black, Robert Parish, Butch Johnson, Michael Chiklis, Cameron Diaz, Shaun Alexander, Andy Roddick, and Bebe Rexha.

News Item: Publix says it will no longer make hurricane themed cakes due to sensitivity concerns. Sad.

Bengals QB Joe Burrow is back for practice.

It’s OK, guys—Chris Sale is gonna take full responsibility and promise to do better next time!

Mookie Betts was the Dodgers’ last chance on Saturday, Alex Verdugo was Boston’s on Sunday. Fitting.

Does the Ashoka theme feature a mournful fiddle? Asking for Kenny Burns.

I wonder if Hank Gathers would’ve taken advantage of the gather step. Back when he played, that was a travel.

I’m forever a #TeamPhysicalMedia guy. But there’s a lotta quality flicks for just a fin* on the ‘book store outta fucking control’ streamer. [*- (urban) denotes $5 ]

Hey gang of baseball poets, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Pouring in Boston / sky is crying because Mookie is here as a Dodger.”

Bob Barker. 99 years. Amazing longevity. Did he die yodeling off a cliff?

I’m not looking forward to the discourse on Patriots Twitter when Tyquan Thornton gets traded to the Steelers for a conditional 5th rounder in a few days.

Jarren Duran, out for the remainder of the season due to false hustle.

The Brattle Street entrance to Harvard Station is temporarily closed due to ongoing Fire Department activity in the area.

Morey Hershgordon isn’t real and he cannot hurt you.

I wonder if any ex-pro athlete has ever turned down a gambling app or Subway sponsorship opportunity.

I’m always in the mood for crab rangoons.

A long time between season-opening road wins, UMass football. Nice job.

Windham Rotunda? That’s a hotel name. Rest in peace.

‘Has the persona of an Anti-Zionist Muhammad Ali’ was on all of Len Bias’s scouting reports.

Super. Blue. Moon.

Last week’s debate was like a D&D dungeon party where everyone rolled a 3 charisma.

John and Mitchy were gettin’ kind of itchy
Just to leave the folk music behind.
Zal and Denny workin’ for a penny
Tryin’ to get a fish on the line.
In a coffee house Sebastian sat
And after every number
They’d pass the hat.
McGuinn and McGuire just a-gettin’ higher
In L.A., you know where that’s at.
And no one’s gettin’ fat except Mama Cass.

Red Sox fans’ overwhelming (and justified) nastiness towards management for trading Mookie Betts makes me wish Twitter existed in 1919 when they got rid of The Babe.

Fun Fact: Ted Williams, whose birthday is today, could fly high-performance fighter jets, clout improbably long home runs, see the rotation of a baseball, and detect an ounce difference in the weight of a baseball bat, but nonetheless could not tell you whether the singer in a song by The Cars was Ric Ocasek, or Benjamin Orr!

All accomplishment comes with a side helping of harsh criticism.

The Galactic Empire apparently had a dress code Moff that forbade women to wear tight pants.

The Dodgers fix dudes left and right with grips while the Sox can’t even manage a bullpen correctly.

Honk if you remember ENIAC.

Three hours after the deadline, the Ravens, Bucs, Broncos and Raiders still have not announced their roster moves. It’s beyond ridiculous.

Me Winning Time isn’t. You do.

Hummus is delicious!

Don’t all you feel a little bit like a silly goose over the whole Patriots players released thing now?

best bet for the weekend: Auburn. Sorry, MinuteCats.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I saw her again last night.

Trey Lance and the Niners really are what happens when you let the idiots on Twitter make the decisions.

Dave O’Brien starts the broadcast with his favorite topic. Weather from earlier in the day that has no bearing on the game we’re about to watch.

All the worst people were emotionally invested in the Ravens meaningless ‘streak’.

The new Burger King spicy chicken wrap is actually really good. Like if I ordered it as a sandwich at a bar for $12.99 I’d be happy with it.

NFL dumb rule proposal: Every team should have to have their punter wear No. 0 and their kicker wear No. 99 (or vice versa).

Cakes are cooking for Rick Springfield, Skipp Sudduth, Julio Franco, Glenn Healy, Ray Ferraro, Jeremy Schaap, Joe Andruzzi, Kate Sobrero, Sun Mingming, Glen Johnson, and Jeremy Lin,

I like the idea of Belichick toiling away in a dark windowless room in the bowels of Gillette Stadium watching film of the Eagles pass rush by himself for the last 37 hours, and all of a sudden he hears the faint echo of “We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together” and he stumbles up a ramp to see what all this racket is about, and is impressed by whoever this woman is playing through the elements.

TikTok wasn’t even invented the last time the Ravens lost a preseason game!

Bucko Kilroy has a grandson named Gavin, Kevin.

Malik Cunningham has played receiver, quarterback and now as a kickoff returner this preseason. Pretty cool.

Hey cowboy gang, this week’s Phrase that pays is, “Struggle bunny.”

Red Line Reminder: Shuttle buses replace service between Quincy Center and Braintree from 8:45 PM to end of service on Aug 22 – 24 for track and tie replacement work.

Dumb people love excessive punctuation.

Embarrassed to just learn that Stephon Gilmore has a brother named Steven Gilmore who is a rookie corner on the Lions.

Got a good reason
For taking the easy way out
Got a good reason
For taking the easy way out now.

She was a day tripper
One way ticket, yeah
It took me so long

To find out;

And I found out.

“Most consecutive preseason wins” seems more like a Colts thing, complete with banner.

Wife asks “Do you like the Ezekiel Elliott deal? Answered very much so.

There are no cool people that take ketamine.

Wait, Robbie Anderson changed his last name to Chosen? I thought he had changed his first name…

I’ve learned that Pete is not actually a lawyer.

Our President is older than the American League MVP in 1968, or the NL MVP from 1970.

Honk if you remember River Phoenix.

The Jets officially placed WR Corey Davis on the reserve/retired list, per the wire.

Upton’s arguing for guys to get into the Hall of Fame who haven’t played pro football in 60+ years. If it takes that long, you simply weren’t good enough.

A 53-point night for A’ja Wilson!

But Trey was awesome in that one fake game he played in college!

Terry Funk was still alive? RIP.

Robert should ask Putin for his Soupey ring back.

I like Pascoag. Has a microbrewery.

Best bet for the weekend: sportswriters at the Springsteen show at Gillette.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Hey Bulldog.