The 15

Not sure what the value is in running a fake sports website, Sports Illustrated.

It took a 7’3″ blindingly white guy for Jaylen to finally be able to see an open teammate.

MegO is such trash drinking some shady energy drink. To roll into work at 1 PM.

Dolly Parton! Now there’s somebody who’s having a life. So impressive.

Are you hearing the Red Sox are in on everyone? Because I’m hearing the Red Sox are in on everyone.

You hire a guy with the name Eberflus and you deserve what you get.

So the Barstool Crew flew to Ann Arbor to watch the Michigan-Ohio State game in an office park?

Bench guys need to bring the psycho energy.

Cakes are cooking for John Mayall, Chuck Mangione, Suzy Chaffee, Jerry Lawler, Barry Goudreau, Howie Mandel, Neal Broten, Rich Camarillo, Don Cheadle, Dee Brown, Jonathan Knight, Mariano Rivera, Anna Faris, Russell Wilson, and Stefon Diggs.

Does anybody call Marvin Harrison Jr. ‘Maserati Marv’ besides Gus Johnson?

There is no bigger cluster fuck than that 146/95/State Offices split in the history of US highways.

Are We Finally Ready For Roman Style?

The NHL should take a page out of the NBA’s book and have the Bruins host an in-season tourney at Hockey Town USA.

When have we ever claimed to be above the fray? We live for the fray!

Zach Edey is Mandarin-Canadian for Hasheem Thabeet.

Would it be a uniform violation to let Mac Jones wear a red non-contact jersey under his gameday uni top?

So Connor Bedard’s mother is a whore and it’s the Blackhawks’ fault?

You ate ten stuffed mushrooms! You did!!

If you’re a team in the Central and you don’t claim Corey Perry then what the fuck are we even doing?

Green Line Reminder: Service is suspended from North Station to Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C + D), and Heath St (E) through December 5. Use Buses for service to Back Bay, and Orange Line for service downtown.

Goaltender Jeremy Swayman returns to the Bruins lineup Thursday vs San Jose. Swayman was pulled from the lineup during his most recent start.

Dave Brown’s surprise return to Entitled Town was copied by the WWF having MC Pank or whoever come back.

They got the logo on the side of this new building now and it’s giving me major Decepticon vibes. I hope we weren’t working for Megatron this whole time.

Hey gang of gustatory gourmands, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Go get a roast beef sandwich and calm down.”

Is there a better name for a running back then Gainwell?

Kratom? At 7-Eleven?

SI probably should have known Olivia0917693516 didn’t actually write those articles.

It takes a really skilled addict to find a way to OD at the exact moment you happen to have your neck pinned to the pavement.

Someone should tell the Celtics there’s money on the line before every game.

And when you get it
It makes you feel good.
You don’t regret it
But maybe you should.

Just face the music
Or turn away.
Just face the music
You can run or stay.

Narrator: The Kansas City Chiefs team colors are NOT and have never been black and red.

Every new country artist my wife listens to has a name like a jobber that Jeff Hardy would beat on a non-TV match.

Tom Brady doesn’t look so good; you don’t suppose he grew into an avocado allergy, do you?

Honk if you remember Ernie and the Automatics.

“Fat Lunatic Tells Mayor to ‘Go Back to China’” probably would have made the news.

Jets opening Aaron Rodgers’ 21-day practice window. WOW.

If the Celtics win this in season tournament, they’ll get shit on for blowing their wad in December. If they get knocked out, it’ll be ‘you just showed that once again you can’t deliver in high pressure games’. There are zero possible outcomes for this where Celtics will avoid getting attacked. It’s a toxic media market’s wet dream.

Does wearing Flex Seal cause brain damage?

Hey Adam Silver, great job on the in-season tournament! Keep it up, fammo. People notice!

Lotta dudes who won absolutely nothing for 20 years during the Patriots dynasty suddenly have a lot to say now that the Patriots are trash for the first time since Y2K and Tom Brady’s retired.

Kudos on the Thanksgiving Friday news dump about the fender bender, Mayor Wu. Well played.

Bowl-bound BC Football.

Are people going to get Peacock so they can watch Bills-Chargers?  Oh, wait you get a Melissa McCarthy movie?  Now I’m in!

All the best to Mike Shildt with the Padres. The Padres are a little hard to root for, with their approach of trying to steal everybody else’s favorite player and pretend they add up to a team, but . . .I hope Shildt lasts there 20 years and wins some big ones.

Best bet for the weekend: More attempts by the local media to Inception RKK into firing Belichick.

Material from interviews, wire services, X FKA Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Old Friend Lebron, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Cool the engines. Cool the engines down.

Charissa Thompson isn’t the first to spill too much personal information in an effort to impress Big Cat.

Jack Edwards speaks like he’s hitting the middle button on predictive text.

The Celtics have the best record in the league, a historically great net rating, new stars who look great with the team, returning stars who are playing well, leveled up coaching, and our fans on twitter are spending the day insulting each other. God Bless America.

WEEI seems at peace with never coming close to respectable ratings.

I’m more and more impressed each time I hear Drew Carter call a Celtics road game. This dude knows everything about the team and both its current and former players, as if he’s been around the organization for years. He JUST got here! Wildly impressive.

Milan Lucic tasteless joke goes here.

Why does Bill Burr make 1000x more sense than any person in the sports media?

Cakes are cooking for Terry Gilliam, Guion Bluford, Billie Jean King, Yvan Cournoyer, Steven Van Zandt, Tina Weymouth, Lyman Bostock, Jamie Lee Curtis, Steve DeOssie, Hugh Millen, Mads Mikkelsen, Sen Dog, Boris Becker, Sharin Foo, Joe Nathan, Shawn Fanning, Oscar Pistorius, and Hailey Baldwin.

I am not sure if I wanna live in a world where Hall and Oates don’t get along.

They killed JFK because he was about to reveal NFL Secrets!

GLX Reminder: Shuttle buses will replace Green Line service between North Station and Medford/Tufts from 8:45 PM to the end of service, Nov 27- Dec. 10, due to track work. Union Square riders should use Bus routes 86, 87, or 91 to connect to shuttles or Orange Line service.

There’s no more try-hard move than the Italians bringing out their lasagna and red sauce for Thanksgiving prior to the meal. We get it, your great-grandparents fucked on a peninsula, congrats.

Looking forward to the 2024 draft, Michael Penix Jr. looks to be the next Davis Mills.

Hey gang of sports bettors, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Whole fit is fire.”

Milan Lucic tasteless joke #2 goes here.

RKK and not BB made the decision to go year-to-year on TB12’s contract? An image that comes to mind is John Henry awkwardly hugging John Lester. Although in this case it’s Kraft wearing a puffy jacket made by one of his rapper friends.

Honk if you remember Aldous Huxley.

Shots on Thanksgiving for the Bruins?! OMG yes! LOL

So what I’m hearing is the Steelers organization decided to…blame Canada? (David Caruso sunglasses GIF)

“I like what Dallas did.” Sirhan Sirhan.

Aly, walk with me in the summer.
Aly, walk with me.
Aly, walk with me in Portland.
Aly, walk with me.

Aly walks with me in my dreams;
So strange and true.
Can I walk with you in Portland
Walk next to you?

Don’t buy a giant TV to replace your slightly smaller giant TV, get a mattress and boxspring like an adult, stupid.

“Ghastly” is an underused word.

Let’s see. . .you have an old, injury-prone player who is God Awful Slow, doesn’t play defense, hits around .200 with nearly 2 strikeouts for each hit. . ..and saying that he probably won’t play every game next year is controversial?

Milan Lucic tasteless joke #4 goes here.

The package stores will be closed across the Commonwealth tomorrow for the same reason we have the worst sports fans in the country.

A game-time decision for Antonio Gibson…

Are the Eddie Andelman Sports Huddle gobbles logarithmically scaled, like the Richter magnitude scale? Two gobbles being ten times worse than one gobble?

Best bet for the weekend: Lots of viewers for the Pats/Giants tilt, but not for the reason you think!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, several Old Friends, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. We reserve the right to update this column later in the day.

Hire more guys who were on the 2013 team, Red Sox.

I’d rather have a player who makes sure you don’t need a last-second shot to win the game because he made sure you won by ten, but you have your opinion too, I guess.

Kudos to Megan Rapinoe for her commitment to Achilles tendon injury equity.

Patriots need to win seven in a row to get right back into this thing.

If he had only waited 10 months, Joansie could have parachuted into Rich’s spot and been part of a top-rated show.

Is Jack Jones taking a Fung Wah to Vegas? Airports don’t seem to be his thing.

Could’ve had the greatest flyover of all time in the Patriots-Colts game, every NATO nation was in the color guard, have every NATO nation take part in a flyover.

What NFL team is gonna hire Deion Sanders to be their HC in the off-season?

Cakes are cooking for Petula Clark, Sam Waterston, Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Joe Leeway, Kevin Eubanks, Greg Anthony, Natalia Medvedeva, Chad Kroeger, Virginie Ledoyen, Lorena Ochoa, Lofa Tatupu, Shailene Woodley, and Trevor Story.

Maybe instead of Orlovsky, Mac could have found a good QB to confide in?

NO SPOILERS! The Marvels was so good! Breezy, light, funny, good story. One of the better MCU entries in a while! Really fun time at the movies.

Hey gang of simpletons, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Didn’t say it was easy. Just not complicated.”

How can play-by-play be out context?

You know you’ve crushed branding your podcast network when you need to include a parenthetical on how to pronounce it.

Red Line Reminder: Shuttle Buses replace service between JFK/UMass and Park Street from 8:45 PM to the end of service, November 15-16, as well as the entire weekend of November 18-19, due to track work.

It’s great that noted Jets fan Rich Eisen did precisely zero research on the roster before calling a Patriots broadcast seen around the globe.

The problem with discussing racism within the NASCAR fandom is that y’all rarely include commentary from the people who are being targeted by that. That’s why some of y’all never believe it’s happening, because you personally didn’t experience it and don’t listen to those who do.

Some good Rule 5 talk on the timeline.

Apparently not following @StoolGreenie isn’t enough. I guess I need to mute or block him in order to not see a 40 something year old Celtics fan get in twitter fights every day with teenage Celtics fans under my ‘For you’ tab.

Protect Iman Vellani at all costs.

Nothing more frustrating for an insider than when you have breaking news sitting in your phone and you don’t see it, or worse don’t look because you’re not anticipating it (like today). So if you’re a source on the TL & I don’t respond, it’s because I didn’t see it. Y’all know this. Lol. Call me. My phone is not glued to my ear every waking minute. Lawd.

You better leave my kitten all alone.
You better leave my kitten all alone.
Well, I told you, big, fat bulldog.
You better leave her alone,

You better leave my kitten all alone.
You better leave my kitten all alone.
This dog is gonna get you.
If you don’t leave her alone.

Will Smith’s career has been going great since he faked that Chris Rock slap!

As has been stated over and over: These in-season tournament courts are doing their job. You know these games are unique.

Honk if you remember Peanut Butter Twix.

Every new business in Boston would love to have the publicity that’s been showered on the opening of Central Perk. What is that all about?

It was a different era, yes, but Frank Howard struck out LESS than many contemporary power hitters, including Willie Stargell, Dick Allen, Barry Bonds, Reggie Jackson and Mike Schmidt, if Schmidt is considered contemporary.

A: Vineyard Nights.

Anyone making a practice turkey dinner in advance of Thanksgiving? Let us know in the comments.

Williams, Smart, Brogdon. All injured. Brad is 3 for 3.

Does Pluto TV have an ‘Ask the Manager’ show where people beg for more Hogan’s Heroes?

I’ve watched dozens of Eras Tour livestreams (oh hush) and I still get teary when all the phones light up for “Marjorie” #TSTheErasTourBuenosAires

I’m not sure how well they can throw, but the Red Sox pitching prospects have some fantastic names. ‘Wikelman Gonzalez’ sounds like Speedy’s bi-curious nephew.

Hearing Jack Edwards narrate a hockey fight is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Imagine if Sauce ends up being better than Revis?

WBD to shut down GCN+, creating immediate issues for cycling fans. #CONSONANTS

Best bet for the weekend: Mac taking full advantage of the bye week to figure things out. He knows he has to play better!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, several Old Friends, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Don’t sleep in the subway, darlin’. Don’t stand in the pouring rain.