DOWN GOES JOANSIE! DOWN GOES JOANSIE! DOWN GOES JOANSIE!
Some boat races, a squeaker, and some shocking upsets out of the N & T Regions. The #1 seeds move on handily, the 7 seed Tom E. ekes out #2 Gresh by the slimmest of margins, while Ted Johnson does better against a surprisingly competitive Matt McCarthy.
But it’s the two Six seeds upsetting the threes that tells the story here. A late groundswell pushed Dan Lifshatz to victory over Alex Reimer, while across the way in the N Region, Marc Bertrand pulls out a W against the very disliked Adam Jones. A group of dedicated single-issue voters sweeping in to protect their beloved reverend sport buzzard, or whatever? Who can say?
The mediots have been cut in half! Well, not literally.
Thirty-two local media members left. Here’s how this will play out:
Six contests begin voting today, another six tomorrow, and on Monday, the matchup from each Region the Selection Committee decided was the most potentially competitive or entertaining.
Are you doing your part to decide who moves on in the March Sadness Biggest Mediot Tournament?
Level with me: is it too late in the season to start my backyard rink?
I wasn’t going to gamble online until the betting sites began signing talentless dipshits to produce content.
Why not this Celtics team?
I hear tell my buddy Bootleg Barnicle has instructed the maids to refer to caviar as ‘Freedom Fish Eggs’ for the duration of the current crisis.
Does Russell Wilson think lightning will strike twice in Denver and he will get carried to a Super Bowl win by the Broncos defense?
Hope the Packers shareholders won’t have to work extra shifts at the plant or get a side hustle to pay Aaron!
A letdown loss after a successful West Coast road trip isn’t the end of the world, Bruins fans.
The Revolution kick off Leg 1 of the Scotiabank Concacaf Champions League Quarterfinals Wednesday night at Gillette Stadium. Tickets are available.
Cakes are cooking for Tony Lockett, Michael Patrick MacDonald, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Clint Dempsey, and Oscar Issac.
Kyle Van Noy released: Dan O’Brien Kia commercials hardest hit.
One of my favorite Coach K memories over the last 40 years was Dickie V always referring to her as ‘the beautiful Mickie Kryzweski’, in case anybody thought he was lying about his glass eye.
Jim Rice: kind to injured little girls, mean to reporters. I’m okay with that.
You will NEVER see a live action MCU film where Graviton is the main villain but any Marvel head knows he’s a major Avengers foe. Most people don’t read comic books. Reality is, the cartoons or live action films/shows are the entry point for most people watching these movies…
So I tune in to the NEC Men’s Basketball Conference Championship game and a Mexican soccer match broke out!
Bobby Wagner, any relation?
Mister we could use a man like Claire Chennault again.
An NFL player that took last year off to deal with “mental health” issues spent the off-time gambling on games, then spent today reacting to his suspension with a series of LOL tweets. But yeah, they definitely should have cut Agholor, given up draft picks and paid Ridley $11MM.
Why did you buy the vitamins if you’re not going to remember to take them?
If you want some way to let the people around you know Pasta Is A Good Kid, but nonverbally; you may soon be in luck.
Hey gang of immunized cheeseheads, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “however, reports about me signing a contract are inaccurate.”
Have a more obvious frame-up of Britney Griner, Russian border agents. You can’t!
Basketball players vaping weed? C’mon, Boogie.
Green Line B Branch Update: Regularly scheduled service has resumed.
Alex Bowman doing the legacy of the No. 48 car proud with a win at Vegas.
d. Nobody likes a fatso, Elton John. Disappointing.
In a voice message sent to a group chat that has been widely shared in Dominican baseball circles, David Ortiz, perhaps the most influential baseball voice in the country, came out strongly against the international draft, according to a copy of the message obtained by ESPN.
‘Cause you’ve got personality Walk (with personality) Talk (with personality) Smile (with personality) Charm (with personality) Love (with personality) And plus you’ve got a great big heart!
Ben Allbright pretending to be hacked by Russians is still the greatest Twitter moment.
I just looked it up. Merrimack is still ineligible for postseason play until the 23-24 season.
Honk if you remember gasohol.
So does only Russia get to have oligarchs? You’d think Greece would have some.
This “fake reporter” is trying to be better. As I said have a nice day.
No Foxboro franchise tag slapping?
Will Mr. Entenmann’s casket be white with a clear plastic window? RIP you baking legend.
Congratulations to Robert Kraft and Dr. Dana Blumberg on their engagement.
Why do I have to wait until October to watch Oz?
I’m going to call it ‘The Drew Lock Trade’.
Best bet for the weekend: an unexpected winner of The PLAYERS Championship at TPC Sawgrass.
The only Robert Wagner that matters.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Pats67 and the members of#the15 wereused in this column. So over (over and over) And over (over and over) Oh, I’ll be a fool for you.
Our first big upset of the Tourney as Arcand is found to be worse than the #2 seeded Borges thanks to a late surge of voting. It’s not a Super Bowl or a presidential election, but it’s something. In other matches, Chris Gasper garners a Saddam Hussein-esque percentage of the votes in his favor, followed close behind by DJ Bean.
In the 8/9 Castiglione vs ‘Hardy’ tilt, the Iheardahim edged out the pseudonym, MegO is a no-go vs Keefe, KPD whining about Jim Rice is not enough to get past call screener JStew, and Shaughnessy is at the top of his profession, and in the V Region.
Continuing, here’s Old Friend ‘Mike on Route One’:
TED JOHNSON
Why he’ll win
After failing to make the previous tournament, Ted capped off a shocking regular season with a 2 seed in the T region thanks to his scorching hot Patriots takes. He faces off against giant killer “DeathCat” Michael Holley in the first round, a mediot who features such pelts as Dale Arnold and Glenn Ordway on his wall. Not exactly your typical 15 seed. If Ted can avoid falling into Holley’s famed “repeat 2x” offense he has a real shot at making it to the round of 16 thanks to a cupcake Perillo/Yellow Teeth McCarthy matchup in the second round.
Why he won’t win
This region is absolutely loaded. As we know, experience matters. It’s a talent game in March and either Bert Breer or Ben Volin loom in the regional final. Additionally, like heavy armor in Ukrainian mud, are we even sure how his neck bolts will hold up once the sledding gets tough against the iron of this field? Make more disjointed metaphors.
CHRIS GASPER
Why he’ll win
Gasper had an incredible regular season and endured a lot of turmoil to get here. Even with the distraction of changing “jobs”, Chris managed to stay pot committed to his Mac Jones takes. His wildly entertaining style of takes – Phi Synonym-a – has endeared him to fans this past year. But somehow, the committee did not reward him with a higher seed. Despite this, his first round matchup against Sean McAdam, who I’m not even sure is still in sports, is a walkover. From there, he will move on to face, in all likelihood, DJ Bean in the round of 32. Mothers lock up your daughters, this matchup is going to be a dog fight, a phone booth game, and played in a very dark place. (and I don’t mean a vineyard Night) Whoever emerges from this will have proven that they can take a pounding. Look for Gasper to come out on top.
Why he won’t win
The voters are very much committed to legacy. Dan Shaughnessy is human vomit, obviously. But has he done enough this year to merit the generous seeding? (Dan is, of course, a generous seeder himself) It’s tough to envision a scenario where Kid Gas goes toe-to-toe with Shank. It might be closer than you think but it doesn’t feel like it’s Chris’ time yet. He’s going to come at the king, so he best not miss. (note: I’ll bet you a free TruCoat that Chris has tweeted some variation of “best not miss” because he’s an erudite consumer of high culture like The Wire, but also, he has a significant amount of “street cred” as they call it.) Sadly, for this single ploy pinto, he won’t make it to the Final Four.
ANDY GRESH
Why he’ll win
Let it not be said that Moe Gresh doesn’t have big game experience. The man played with his hand in the dirt and in his nose. When you’ve competed at the highest levels of football (Rhode Island) and you almost beat Hofstra that one time, your resume speaks for its flippin’ self. What kind of cat is Gresh? One that knows how to win.
Why he won’t win
A 2 seed!? A 2 seed!? (you should read that in the incredulous Michael Holley voice) The committee must have had a bad ice cube whilst seeding the N region. Even if he manages to squeak by the Greek Freak John Karalis, he’s headed for a buzzsaw in the most underseeded mediot of the tourney, one Tom E Curran. This is just a bad matchup for Gresh. Curran is peaking at the right time (the last six years) and Gresh is giving time and temp with a mumbling Rick Teef.
FITZY
Why he’ll win
Speaking of Greeks, he’s by far the best Hellenic-masquerading-as-a-Mick in the entire field. Fitzy is a real riser, a stretch 4 (see because his face looks like pulled taffy) who could make some noise in the early rounds. If you didn’t think the committee had a sense of humor, look no further than the laugh riot matchup in the round of 32 between Fitzy and Big Gym Murray. Like Rickles and Pryor in their primes. There’s no love – or scally caps – lost when these two get together.
Why he won’t win
Fitzy? More like can’t-fit-see-him-advancing-to-the-sweet-sixteen.
LOU MERLONI
Why he’ll win
Wanna see him pull a deep run out of his hat? The Fabulous Merloni, back for another run. His hair is the same natural color as another proven March winner, Coach K. He’s had historical success in the poles [sic] and the Big Dance. (The Mashpee Ballet)
Why he won’t win
What? You don’t think he’s gonna win the whole damn thing? Sniff. Ok. Ok. Fine. Sure. You’re gonna bet against the guy who has to matchup against the overall 1 seed who is currently stomping his dick 24-3 in the ratings? Ok. Fine. Sure. Sniff.
Region N – March 6 Region V – March 7 Region C – March 8 Region T – March 9
Voting will begin tomorrow, March 6th to determine the most hated mediot in the Greater Boston listening, viewing, and reading area. (NB: As John Tomase won the most recent Tournament conducted by our predecessor organization BJBSJ in 2019, he is therefore ineligible, and not an oversight on our parts. cheers.)
