03/09/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Soon?

Are you doing your part to decide who moves on in the March Sadness Biggest Mediot Tournament?

Level with me: is it too late in the season to start my backyard rink?

I wasn’t going to gamble online until the betting sites began signing talentless dipshits to produce content.

Why not this Celtics team?

I hear tell my buddy Bootleg Barnicle has instructed the maids to refer to caviar as ‘Freedom Fish Eggs’ for the duration of the current crisis.

Does Russell Wilson think lightning will strike twice in Denver and he will get carried to a Super Bowl win by the Broncos defense?

Hope the Packers shareholders won’t have to work extra shifts at the plant or get a side hustle to pay Aaron!

A letdown loss after a successful West Coast road trip isn’t the end of the world, Bruins fans.

The Revolution kick off Leg 1 of the Scotiabank Concacaf Champions League Quarterfinals Wednesday night at Gillette Stadium. Tickets are available.

Cakes are cooking for Tony Lockett, Michael Patrick MacDonald, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Clint Dempsey, and Oscar Issac.

Kyle Van Noy released: Dan O’Brien Kia commercials hardest hit.

One of my favorite Coach K memories over the last 40 years was Dickie V always referring to her as ‘the beautiful Mickie Kryzweski’, in case anybody thought he was lying about his glass eye.

Jim Rice: kind to injured little girls, mean to reporters. I’m okay with that.

You will NEVER see a live action MCU film where Graviton is the main villain but any Marvel head knows he’s a major Avengers foe. Most people don’t read comic books. Reality is, the cartoons or live action films/shows are the entry point for most people watching these movies…

So I tune in to the NEC Men’s Basketball Conference Championship game and a Mexican soccer match broke out!

Bobby Wagner, any relation?

Mister we could use a man like Claire Chennault again.

An NFL player that took last year off to deal with “mental health” issues spent the off-time gambling on games, then spent today reacting to his suspension with a series of LOL tweets. But yeah, they definitely should have cut Agholor, given up draft picks and paid Ridley $11MM.

Why did you buy the vitamins if you’re not going to remember to take them?

If you want some way to let the people around you know Pasta Is A Good Kid, but nonverbally; you may soon be in luck.

Hey gang of immunized cheeseheads, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “however, reports about me signing a contract are inaccurate.”

Have a more obvious frame-up of Britney Griner, Russian border agents. You can’t!

Basketball players vaping weed? C’mon, Boogie.

Green Line B Branch Update: Regularly scheduled service has resumed.

Alex Bowman doing the legacy of the No. 48 car proud with a win at Vegas.

d. Nobody likes a fatso, Elton John. Disappointing.

In a voice message sent to a group chat that has been widely shared in Dominican baseball circles, David Ortiz, perhaps the most influential baseball voice in the country, came out strongly against the international draft, according to a copy of the message obtained by ESPN.

‘Cause you’ve got personality
Walk (with personality)
Talk (with personality)
Smile (with personality)
Charm (with personality)
Love (with personality)
And plus you’ve got a great big heart!

Ben Allbright pretending to be hacked by Russians is still the greatest Twitter moment.

I just looked it up. Merrimack is still ineligible for postseason play until the 23-24 season.

Honk if you remember gasohol.

So does only Russia get to have oligarchs? You’d think Greece would have some.

This “fake reporter” is trying to be better. As I said have a nice day.

No Foxboro franchise tag slapping?

Will Mr. Entenmann’s casket be white with a clear plastic window? RIP you baking legend.

Congratulations to Robert Kraft and Dr. Dana Blumberg on their engagement.

Why do I have to wait until October to watch Oz?

I’m going to call it ‘The Drew Lock Trade’.

Best bet for the weekend: an unexpected winner of The PLAYERS Championship at TPC Sawgrass.

The only Robert Wagner that matters.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW poster Pats67 and the members of #the15 were used in this column. So over (over and over) And over (over and over) Oh, I’ll be a fool for you.

Alexandra Daddario. Approve!

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