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Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on January 1, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

Happy New Year to all who celebrate!

From the home office in Nashua New Hampshire, the Top 10 Cat New Year’s resolutions for 2026…

10. Stop knocking things off the table… before making eye contact.
9. Learn what “no” means — and continue to ignore it.
8. Sit on warm laptops instead of freshly folded laundry. (Maybe)
7. Eat food more slowly so humans stop accusing me of “inhaling.”
6. Meow at 3 a.m. with a clearer sense of purpose.
5. Fit into boxes without questioning physics.
4. Respect personal space — primarily my own.
3. Pretend to be grateful when receiving gifts I absolutely hate.
2. Reduce judgmental staring to under 14 hours a day.
1. Finally reveal why I do anything… just kidding!

Saturday Dinner Time
Panthers at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Black cats sink Bucs

Saturday Prowl Time
Seahawks (-1.5) at 49ers
Purrrrrdy swallows fake Sea Birds

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Falcons (-3)
Falcons excommunicate Saints

St.Gertrude of Nivelles, patron saint of cats

Browns at Bengals (-7.5)
Stripey Cats eat elves

Colts at Texans (-10.5)
Houston’s practice squad has no problem with Indy’s practice squad

Titans at Jaguars (-12.5)
Jags top Tits

Packers at Vikings (-6.5)
Vikings win by default

Cowboys (-3.5) at Giants
Dart defeats Dallas

Jets at Bills (-7)
Bills ground Jets

Lions at Bears (-3)
Bears send Jungle Kings into hibernation

Chargers at Broncos (-12.5)
Is this the long awaited Trey Lance breakout game? Sorry Patriot fans, it is not.

Cardinals at Rams (-7.5)
Rams rough up Red Birds

Chiefs (-5.5) at Raiders
Raiders are dozing for Mendoza

Dolphins at Patriots (-10.5)
Patriots drop Coach Drip

Commanders at Eagles (-7)
American Birds crush Commies

The good old days when Russia were the bad guys

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens (-3.5) at Steelers
Team X lives! Black birds get to prove that they aren’t afraid to lose on Wild Card Weekend.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 17 NFL Picks 2025

Posted on December 26, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

As it turns out, Football Cat was making rather merry yesterday, and is in no condition to make picks this week. But fear not! Other the15net.com adjacent animals have graciously stepped up to fill the void. Football Cat will be back next week, tanned and rested, and ready to ring in the New Year.

A poor excuse for picking a dog’s pocket every twenty fifth of December!

Saturday Dinner Time
Texans at Chargers (-1.5)
After a thorough review of each team’s sleep scores and rain gauges, Frank says take the Texans

My diet consists entirely of discarded egg yolks

Saturday Prowl Time
Ravens at Packers (-3)
Jocko doesn’t like the Black Birds

Sunday Lunch Time
Seahawks (-7) at Panthers
Jocko doesn’t like the Black Cats

Cardinals at Bengals (-7.5)
Warren Dull’s second stepfather’s neighbor’s nephew’s grandmother once had a budgie that got eaten by her bridge partner’s cat. The stripey cats do the same to the pretty red birds.

Steelers (-3) at Browns
The Cleveland Pig will be drowning her sorrows at the feeding trough

Jaguars (-6.5) at Colts
Kenny the pet bee thinks the Jags swarm the Colts. Indy better have extra epee pens on hand.

She suffers from rosacea you inconsiderate jerks!

Buccaneers (-5.5) at Dolphins
Jasper loves the Bucs inside and out.

Patriots (-13.5) at Jets
Loki is waiting to see a jet crash and burn

Saints (-2.5) at Titans
Millie says to lay it all on the Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
Giants (-1.5) at Raiders
The Teddy the doodle is a fan of Pete the poodle

He’s hypoallergenic and machine washable

Eagles at Bills (-1.5)
Packo loves Buffalo, especially their wings with a nice coating of Rub Smoke Love BEEF CAKE premium all-natural beef rub and seasoning.

Sunday Prowl Time
Bears at 49ers (-3)
Marv thinks that Bears will lay low and then suddenly snap and go for the 49ers jugular.

Monday Prowl Time
Rams (-7.5) at Falcons
Cocaine bear loves LA

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 16 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on December 19, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Do you like football? Of course you do or you wouldn’t be here. Do you like the color and pageantry of college athletics? We can see you rockin’ and reelin’, and hanging from the ceiling, so that’s a “yes”. And most importantly, do you like showtunes? *Squeals with delight!* Well Mr./Mrs./Ms./Dr. First Nighter do we have a fabulous quiz for you!

Each of the four games in this weekend’s college football playoff involves at least one team associated with a Tony Award winning Broadway musical!

Can you name the show for each matchup? (click to reveal the answer)

Alabama at Oklahoma

“Oklahoma” (Duh!)

Miami at Texas A&M

“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”

Tulane at Ole Miss

“Show Boat”

James Madison at Oregon

“Hamilton”

Saturday Dinner Time
Eagles (-6.5) at Commanders
American Birds crush the Commies

Saturday Prowl Time
Packers at Bears (-1.5)
Northwest Indiana Bears grind the Meatmen

Sunday Lunch Time
Buccaneers (-3) at Panthers
Someone has to win this game, may as well be the Black Cats

Bills (-10.5) at Browns
What can Brown do for you, Patriots fans? Nothing. Bills cruise

Chargers at Cowboys (-2.5)
Fun fact: In Weeks 12 and 13, the Cowboys defeated the Eagles and Chiefs. In Weeks 14 and 15, the Chargers defeated the Eagles and Chiefs. That was the first time that two different teams defeated the previous season’s Super Bowl teams in consecutive weeks. Bolts shock Boys

Jets at Saints (-5.5)
Saints cook Jets

Thanks to the cooking Saints at the Nashua Soup Kitchen!

Vikings (-3) at Giants
Vikings sink tanking G-Men

Chiefs (-3) at Titans
Tits motorboat Mahomes-less Chiefs

Bengals (-4.5) at Dolphins
Stripey cats win vs Quinn the Fin

Sunday Dinner Time
Falcons (-3) at Cardinals
Raptors raid pretty red birds nest

Jaguars at Broncos (-3)
Spotty cats can’t handle the (atmospheric) pressure

Steelers at Lions (-7)
Jungle Kings can’t be caged by Steel Men

Raiders at Texans (-14.5)
Texans toast Vegas

Sunday Prowl Time
Patriots at Ravens (-3)
Road warriors roll Ravens

Glad tidings to all the Drake-A-Maniacs!

Monday Prowl Time
49ers (-6) at Colts
Purrrrdy pops Ponies

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on December 11, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Late Night with Football Cat presents: Top 10 Office Christmas Party Mistakes
From the home office in Nashua New Hampshire, the Top 10 ways to turn your company Christmas party into a career-ending blooper reel…
10) Introducing the new employee to everyone as “the diversity hire we got for the tax break.”
9) Doing the Macarena with Karen from Accounting… on top of the copier.
8) Starting a conga line through the open-bar line. Congratulations, you just turned a 45-minute wait for vodka into a fire-code violation with jazz hands.
7) Telling the intern that the mistletoe belt buckle is “company tradition.”
6) Karaoke rendition of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” as an unwilling duet with your married boss.
5) Complimenting Stacy from Marketing on how “the red dress really brings out the exit sign behind you.”
4) Cornering the CEO under the mistletoe and saying, “Pucker up, you magnificent bald elf.”
3) Grabbing the mic from the DJ to announce, “This next song goes out to Steve in accounting—thanks for doing my taxes and my wife!”
2) Drunken PowerPoint presentation titled “Things I’d Change If I Ran This Place.”
1) Slow-dancing with the cardboard cutout of the founder while crying to “Last Christmas.”

Sunday Lunch Time
Browns at Bears (-7.5)
Bears flush the browns

Ravens (-2.5) at Bengals
Stripey cats pounce on the black birds

Cardinals at Texans (-9.5)
Texicans barbeque pretty red birds

Jets at Jaguars (-13.5)
Spotty cats ground the Jets

Chargers at Chiefs (-5.5)
Chiefs aren’t dead until you drive a stake through their heart and cut off their head

Bills (-1.5) at Patriots
Buffalo sauces the locals

He’ll sauce you and then roll you down a hill

Commanders at Giants (-2.5)
G-men master Commanders

Raiders at Eagles (-11.5)
Raiders won’t even cover

Sunday Dinner Time
Packers (-2.5) at Broncos
Denver curdles cheesemen

Lions at Rams (-6)
Horney sheep trample jungle kings

Panthers (-2.5) at Saints
Black cats spook Saints

Colts at Seahawks (-13.5)
Fake Seabirds sink Old Man Rivers

Titans at 49ers (-12.5)
Purrdy topples Tits

Sunday Prowl Time
Vikings at Cowboys (-5.5)
Cowboys hogtie Mini-men

Monday Prowl Time
Dolphins at Steelers (-3.5)
Yinzers feast on frozen fins

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on December 4, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks ’25

Time to check in with everyone’s favorite nonagenarian sportswriter, none other than legendary boxing and gridiron correspondent for the old Boston Evening Gazette, Buzz “Lefty” McBride. Mr. McBride would like to share his take on the controversial hit New England Patriots’ linebacker Christian Eliss placed on New York Giants’ quarterback Jaxson Dart during the first quarter of Monday night’s football game.

Buzz “Lefty” McBride: “Looks to me like Eliss knocked Jaxson Dart onto Queer Street”

Many thanks to “Lefty” for his thoughtful and enlightened commentary.

Sunday Lunch Time
Titans at Browns (-4.5)
Turds top Tits

Seahawks (-7) at Falcons
Fake sea birds rule the roost

Colts (-1.5) at Jaguars
Jags jettison Jones

Commanders at Vikings (-2.5)
Feds raid Minnesota

Bengals at Bills (-5.5)
Buffalo buries Burrow

Saints at Buccaneers (-8.5)
Bucs defrock the clergy

Steelers (-6) at Ravens
Scary black birds love a game played in a dark place

Dolphins (-2.5) at Jets
New Yorkers feast on frozen fish

Sunday Dinner Time
Broncos (-7.5) at Raiders
YOU want the Raiders to win, but you can’t always get what you want

Rams (-8.5) at Cardinals
Horney sheep trample pretty red birds

Bears at Packers (-6.5)
The pack is back!

Sunday Prowl Time
Texans at Chiefs (-3.5)
Indoor cats can’t handle the chill of the open plains

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles (-2.5) at Chargers
Patriotic birds zap Bolts

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 28, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Welcome to Black Friday 2025!

Smart shoppers are avoiding the crowds by visiting the official the15net.com store to pick up their official the15net.com merchandise. It’s what all the cool people will be wearing to the office Christmas party. And who doesn’t want to be cool?

Q: Who could ever look cooler than these Fonzies

Sunday Lunch Time
Rams (-10) at Panthers
Horny sheep skin black cats

49ers (-4.5) at Browns
Prospectors fry Colonel Sanders

It takes a tough cat to make a tender bird

Texans at Colts (-4.5)
Indianapolis Jones whips Houston

Saints at Dolphins (-5.5)
Tua’s Dolphins dunk tanking Saints

He’s not called *Coach Drip* for nothing

Falcons (-2.5) at Jets
Birds of Prey soar over sputtering Jets

Cardinals at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Pretty Red Birds fly past Bucs

Jaguars (-6.5) at Titans
Spotted cats top Tits

Did someone say “jaguar tit top”?
*EDITOR’S NOTE: These are leopard spots, not jaguar spots. We regret the error.*

Sunday Dinner Time
Vikings at Seahawks (-11.5)
Sam Darnold haunts Vikings

Raiders at Chargers (-10)
Bolts put out Vegas’ lights

You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in white

Bills (-3.5) at Steelers
Buffalo wings Yinzers

Sunday Prowl Time
Broncos (-6) at Commanders
Rested Broncos bust Commies

Monday Prowl Time
Giants at Patriots (-7.5)
Pats head to the bye on a high

You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in blue

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Thanksgiving Picks ’25

Posted on November 27, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.

Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale):
Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”.
4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷

Thanksgiving early eaters time
Packers at Lions (-2.5)
Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads

Thanksgiving late eaters time
Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys
Squantos feast on the Pilgrims

Thanksgiving overeaters time
Bengals at Ravens (-7)
Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys

Black Friday Afternoon Nap time
Bears at Eagles (-7)
Birds bully Bears

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 12 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 21, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Please enjoy some pre-Thanksgiving haikus…

A Cat:
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren’t that sharp.

Football:
Pigskin, gridiron
These equal true happiness
All thanks to Bert Bell

Robert Kraft:
Desperate for praise
Time for my prepaid close up
Get my booster seat

Kendra Middleton:
I crave attention
Look at me I am zany
Stop bothering me

Bob Socci:
This is not tv
Please give me down and distance
This is radio

Scott Zolak:
Must you grunt and groan
You are ruining the game
Try doing less coke

Sunday Lunch Time
Jets at Ravens (-13.5)
The Poes crawl out from under the floor boards

Steelers at Bears (-2.5)
Bears won’t be caged

Patriots (-8.5) at Bengals
Stripey cats can’t trap Pats

Giants at Lions (-10.5)
Jungle kings cut down Giants

Vikings at Packers (-6.5)
Packmen gobble up JJ

Colts at Chiefs (-3.5)
Native peoples corral Colts

Seahawks (-13.5) at Titans
Fake seabirds best the breasts

Sunday Dinner Time
Jaguars (-2.5) at Cardinals
Spotted cats swallow pretty red birds

Browns at Raiders (-3.5)
Black hole excretes the Browns

The photo Keebler didn’t want you to see

Eagles (-3.5) at Cowboys
Birds beat Boys

Falcons (1.5) at Saints
Saints flush Falcons in the Toilet Bowl

Sunday Prowl Time
Buccaneers at Rams (-6.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayefield, it’s Baker Won’t-field

Monday Prowl Time
Panthers at 49ers (-7)
Purrrrdy boxes black cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 11 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 14, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!

and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!

As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):

Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!

Sunday Desayuno Time
Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5)
¡Los delfines ganan!

Sunday Lunch Time
Panthers at Falcons (-3.5)
Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win

Buccaneers at Bills (-6)
Bills bully Baker

Chargers (-3) at Jaguars
Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs

Bears at Vikings (-2.5)
Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears

Packers (-7) at Giants
There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.

Bengals at Steelers (-5.5)
Yinzers flatten Flacco

Texans (-6) at Titans
Tex squeezes Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
49ers (-3) at Cardinals
Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds

Seahawks at Rams (-3)
Horny sheep trample fake sea birds

Ravens (-7.5) at Browns
Scary black birds flush the Browns

Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos
Chiefs bust Broncos

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions at Eagles (-2.5)
Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly

Monday Prowl Time
Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders
Ranch hands rustle Raiders

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 7, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

News item: ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.

We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?

And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).

Thank you for you attention to this matter.

Sunday Frühstück Time
Falcons at Colts (-6.5)
Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Panthers (-5.5)
Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints

Giants at Bears (-4.5)
Bears send G-men into hibernation

Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans
Spotted cats have a problem in Houston

Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins
Buffalo grills Dolphins

Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings
Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead

Browns (-1.5) at Jets
Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027

Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds

Rams (-3) at 49ers
Horny sheep menace Mac

Lions (-7.5) at Commanders
Lions tame Swamp Things

Sunday Prowl Time
Steelers at Chargers (-3)
Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Packers (-2.5)
American Birds snap up Meat Men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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