Author Archives: TheIntern15

Question Time with The15!

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Welcome to a new recurring feature here at The15net dot com! You have questions about local sports and culture, we will try and answer them. Let’s go!

Q: What the hell is the point of winning the NBA’s in-season tournament anyway? – Tony Powers, Brookline

A: It means you qualify for UEFA Europa League.

Q: No, really.

A: That wasn’t phrased as a question. But the answer is, it grants a permission structure for the fans of every other NBA franchise to make unmerciful fun of the team that wins the tournament but doesn’t also win the championship. And rightly so.

Q: In much the same way as the Mass Ave. Bridge is measured out in ‘Smoots’, I think the Ted Williams Tunnel should be measured using the length of the famous Red Seat home run hit by The Splendid Splinter. Who should I bring this up with? The Mass DOT? My state legislator? – Marie Mimieux – Shirley

A: What a great idea. As it stands, the Ted Williams Tunnel, or ‘TWT’ as no one calls it, is 1.6 miles in length. Teddy Ballgame’s epic June 1946 home run off Detroit’s Fred Hutchinson was measured at 502 feet. A mile is 5,280 feet, multiply by 1.6 gets us to 8228 feet, divide that by 502 feet and we determine that the tunnel is 16.83 Red Seat home run lengths long. You should definitely try and get this to happen either as you suggested by contacting your representative, or one of the local knights of the keyboard. Good luck and let us know if we can help get this done.

Q: Could there be a more useless number than cap space three years out? – Pat Staley, Frostbite Falls, MN

A: Yes; Batting Average.

Q: How old was Upton Bell that last time the two other AFC East teams that have won a Super Bowl won one? – Richard Avis, Holden

Upton was 37 when the Dolphins won SBVIIII, the same age as Scarlett Johansson today, and was a spry 32 when the Jets shocked his Colts team in Super Bowl III, so approximately the same age as Steph Curry or Margot Robbie are right now. We do not know if Upton will live long enough to see the Buffalo Bills win a Soupey.

Uppy was once the same age as these young, vibrant people, Kevin.

Q: I remember the outfield wall distances at Fenway Park being painted on in both feet and meters. When did the metric distances disappear? – Michael Skellig, Winthrop

A: The metric measurements were added for the 1976 season, during our nation’s brief dalliance with fully converting to the metric system after the passage and signing of the Metric Conversion Act of 1975. Full metrication never occurred, and the metric distances were removed during the 2002 season.

379 feet, 115 meters.

Q: When is the best time to harvest my tomato plants? – Ellis Wheat, Norfolk

A: Pick your tomatoes in the morning, and when they are fully red in color. Note; non-red tomatoes such as the Berkeley Pink Tie-Dye, Black Beauty, Cherokee Purple, Great White, Green Zebra, and Yellow Pear have different harvest dates, varying between 65-80 days after transplant.

Momatoes.

Do you have a question you would like The15 to answer? Head over to https://the15net.com/contact/ and drop us a line! Or DM https://twitter.com/the15intern. See you next week!

From The15 Vault – Patriotic Playlist

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(Originally Published as the 2015 Memorial Day Mixtape on the BSMW* Message Board. Please enjoy.)

(* – Badger Sheet Metal Works, natch. )

* * * * *

The Star-Spangled Banner – Jimi Hendrix/Whitney Houston (DJ Crunk El S.a.m.M.i. remix)

Proud Young Americans – Lee Greenwood

The Pilgrims Should Have Landed On a Bigger Rock (Plimoth’s Lament) – Rickard & Gregor

Born on the 2nd of July – Barry Pedantic

The Iroquois Confederacy Influenced the Constitution (New York State & I know this to be so) – Aggressive Zero

Four Quarters Makes a Whole, and We’re Wholly Against Quartering (The 3rd Amendment Song) – Schoolhouse Rock!:Rarities and B Sides

Cotton Gin? Blecch; I’d Rather Have A Fribble – Brian and The Uncles of Invention

James K. Polk ( S )– They Might Be Giants

Tubmania Overture – Harriet! The Original Broadway Cast Recording

Battle Hymn of the Republic – Grand Army of the Potomac Observation Balloon Corps ‘The Soaring Falcons’ Veterans & Ladies Auxiliary

March of the Pinkertons (We Never Sleep) –  Father Jones

In 50 Years Some Limey Wankers Will Steal This Song Blues – Turkeypie Jefferson

It’s Good We Didn’t Kill All The Indians (They’re Good At Working The High Steel) – Nat Plutocrat and His Spatted Fat Cats

Ballad of the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps – Surgeon General’s Honor Cadre Band

TVA – Seventeen Man Rural Electrification Band

Battleship USS Arizona Memorial Plaque – Mike Brady (spoken word)

Awesome at Any Speed – Corvair Summer

Theme to ‘Johnny Detective’ – Nelson Riddle & his Orchestra

16 Games – Tennessee Bertie Lincoln

Battle Hymn of The Network Stars – Chorus of Competitors

America (S)- Spinal Tap

I Musta Hit A Triple, ‘Cuz I’m Here On Third Base – GTown Lukey with Bertie Tha Confirminator & L’il Blue Eyes featuring Chet Haze

NBA on CBS Theme  ( S )– CBS Festival Orchestra

U.S.A. R.O.C.K. is A-O.K. for U & Me from AK to ME – Ron Catamount Muskmelon

I Like Lands That Are Great – Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga

* * * * *

The 15 wishes you a safe and happy Independence Day.

SPECIAL GUEST SUBMISSION

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(Editor’s Note: This article was initially sent to us in error, its intended recipient apparently being Mike Reiss. After contacting the author, he graciously assented to it being published here, provided it not be edited for content. Please enjoy.)

DEAR MYKE

SORRY FOR DELAY I COULD NOT FIGYA OUT MY GMALE PASSWURD. IT WAS TOONA. ANYWAYS AS I PREDICTID BRADY LEFT AND BELLYCHECK CANT WIN THE BIG ONE EVEN WITH ZAPPY. DONT EVEN GET ME STAHTED ON MAK. HES ADMITTEDLY VERY HANSUM BUT HIS AHM IS SOFTA THAN MY RICHAHD AFTA A PEPSI BURP FROM MY BELOVID DOROTHY. RIP. I DID NOT SEE YOU AT THE (CAMERON LOL) WAKE BUT AS YOU PROBABLY HERD SHE HAD SAHS-COV-2 FORTEEN TIMES AND EVENCHUALY SUKUMMED. WEAH NOT ANTI-VAX THEY JUST COODNT FIND A VAIN IN HER AHM.

WHAT ELSE IS IN THE NEWS? FORMA PRESIDENT DON TRUMP HAS BEEN UP TO NO GOOD LOL. WHATS UP WITH THAT GUY? HES SOMETHIN ELSE. LARRY KING DIED HUH?

BACK TO THE PATS. IF THEY DONT AT LEEST WIN A TITAL THIS YEAH THEN BILL HAS TO GO. HEYA ARE MY CONTENDAS TO REPLACE BILL:

  1. VRABES – THSI IS OBVIUS. THREWOUT HIS CARERR AS A PLAY AND COCH HES WON MULTIPLE SUPA BOLS. THATS WHAT THIS TEAM NEEDS. SOMEWON WITH EXPERIENCE WINNING (PRONOWNCED LIKE FOREST GUMP LOL).
  1. PAHCELLS – IF STILL ALIVE HE WOULD BE PURFECT. IF YOU TAKE AWAY HIS FURST AND THURD SEEZINS WITH THE PATS HE WAS 21 AND 11 AND A MASTA COMMUNICATA REMEMBA WHEN HE CALLED THE MENTALLY FRAGILE AND CLINICLY DEPRESSED LATE TERRY GELNN “SHE.” THAT WAS THE BEST. “SHE” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. ALTHOW WE PAHT WAYS WHEN IT COMES TO SHOPIN FOR GROSSERIES. NOW THAT MY LATE BITSH WIFE IS DIRT NAPPIN I GOTTA GOT TO DEMOOLASES FAH ALL OWA VICSHUALS AND I ALWAYS BUMP INTA SOMEONE I KNOW AND THEN I GOTTA CHIT CHAT ABOWT HOWS WANE WELL NOT GRATE ON ACCOUNT OF JANYOUARY SEVENTH HE WENT BY HIMSELF AND WAS APPREHNDED WITH GREAT EEZE.
  1. THE GUY FROM THE RAMS.
  2. GORDON RAMSEY – A LITTLE OUTSIDE THE BOX BUT HE WOULD BE LIKE “MAC YOU CALL THAT A SPIDA 2 Y BANANA YOAH A UNDACOOKED CO CO VON AND DELECTABLE PASS ZAPPE” PLAYAS NEED DISIPLINE NOWDAYS AND THAT IS NOT RASHUL AT ALL.
  3. OKLAHOMA OFFENSIVE COORDINATA JEFF LEBBY

ANYWAY MY BATTERY IS RUNNIN OUT BUT LETS TALK SOON. MY FONE NUMBA IS 617-529-1375.

Poor Wayne.

Wayne’s Fatha is a die-hard Boston sports fan and irrepressible commentator to message boards and comment threads. He lives in the Merrimack Valley. He is Wayne’s Father.

An Interview with a Plover

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Powder Point Bridge.

(Duxbury, MA)

Area perpetual child felt his life wasn’t quite good enough and took to Twitter to complain.:

Enjoy your ratio, loser.

The15net dot com wanted to know what the reaction was from the local plover community to Mr. Breer’s tweet. Fortunately, one of our interns is in a pre-veterinary program with an emphasis on exotic animals and was happy to visit the coast and conduct and interview with the aggrieved avian:

The15: Good afternoon, what should I call you; your banding number?

Good afternoon to you. No need for such formality, you can call me Ed.

The15: Your name is Ed Plover?

Is that a problem?

The15: No. So then Ed; what was your reaction to this inflammatory tweet?

First off, I resent being compared to rats. They are one of our natural predators. And everyone knows that pigeons are the real flying rats, although a case can be made to extend that slur to herring gulls. If anything, we are like chipmunks, tiny, cryptically colored, and adorable. Secondly: how on earth can a tiny sparrow-sized shorebird be menacing? All we do is patrol the shoreline, foraging for crustaceans, insects, and marine worms to eat. Haven’t you seen us running comically back and forth avoiding the waves? Hours of entertainment! We get menaced by crows, racoons, foxes, and wild and domestic cats! And big, stupid humans like Breer. Furthermore, how can someone who get this, was arrested and charged with the actual crime of ‘Menacing‘, have the complete lack of self-introspection to then call me, a little piping plover, a menace? Talk about irony deficiency!

In the 20+ years since this mugshot, Bert has lost the freshman fifteen and learned nothing.

The15 – It does boggle the mind.

And as for when he was lugged for “answering an urgent call of nature”; he’s not a bird, he doesn’t have a cloaca, as far as I know. He’s a higher form of animal life, allegedly, and yet he was caught whipping his thingie out and whizzing all over Chittendon Avenue like a pigeon messing on a statue! The important thing to remember about him is that he’s a spoiled little rich boy. A literal heir to the Redenbacher popcorn fortune! Why I hear tell Bert’s great grandfather was at Fenway on a popcorn sales call for Jackie Robinson’s infamous workout and uttered some variation of “get that plover off the dune.” And he used his daddy’s money to fight that public indecency charge all the way to the Ohio Supreme Court. Compared himself to a disabled veteran too. Can you believe this guy? “Oh Noes! I can’t drive right onto the beach!” He hasn’t been this disappointed since he didn’t get accepted to Michigan! He hasn’t been this sad since Jack Tatum croaked! You wanna know what really ruins a summer? Getting squished under two tons of conspicuous consumerism. Does he get off of seeing marine life killed? There was that ghastly picture of that poor dead sea turtle he posted that one time, remember that? I don’t get it; a Kraut like him should have a natural disinclination to seeing big American vehicles driving up onto beaches.

I believe his family is Austrian, not German.

Well, schnitzel, spaetzle; all the same to me. Surprised he didn’t try a panzerfaust attack on the Patriots duckboats during their parades. The only thing this Boys From Brazil Hitler clone-looking nullity has ever earned are arrests and suspensions. Hey, I got one for you: what’s the difference between a seagull and Bert Breer?

The Boys From Brazil – 1978 – 20th Century Fox

The15 – I don’t know.

A seagull can get into Gillette Stadium! Ha ha! It’s funny because Breer is banned from there. He got suspended at the NFL Network, and somehow gets the MMQB job at Sports Illustrated, although people still think Peter King is still there. Bert’s really hasnt put his mark on the place. Unlike a fence in C-Bus! And yet he keeps failing upward! I mean, it’s like the saying, ‘He found a fried clam and now he thinks he’s Chubby Woodman.’

The15- That’s a saying?

It is among the shorebird community. And just a reminder to you bipeds, we descended from dinosaurs. We have lived on the coastal dunes for centuries; you are the arrivistes. And some of you people could use the extra few steps getting from a parking lot to a beach. Blubbery like a harbor seal. Just sayin’. Live and let live. We just want to scrape out a nest, brood our young, and then maybe migrate to the Bahamas for the winter. I don’t quite know why we’re here, I guess Duxbury worms just hit different. But you don’t see us trying to take over Bertie’s natural habitat, his couch during football season, do you? As you know, we’re endangered. (WA: Threatened in MA) In fact, the only thing rarer than a plover’s nest is an Albert Breer scoop!

The15- Food for thought. Any last words?

I think he just might hate us because we plovers have a longer mating season than Mrs. Breer. Heyoooo!

Emily Olivia Anderson is an intern for The15net dot com. Edward Moore Plover resides on the dunes in Duxbury.

From The 15 Vault – the 2019 WEEI-Themed Memorial Day Mixtape Playlist

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(Originally published May 27, 2019 )

(Dear BJBSJ Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is a musical playlist for your Memorial Day enjoyment. Click HERE to download. The theme this year is potential WEEI format changes, and the different music they would then play. It’s funny because it is true! So, without any further ado, and no listening out of order);

Disc One: Country 93.7

1. Boston – Kenny Chesney

2. I’m Alright – Jo Dee Messina

3. Chicken Fried – Zac Brown Band

4. I Hope You DIAF – Lee Ann Crespo-Womack

5. Drinking Double Shots of Crown While Sittin On the Beach: How The Hell Is That A Country Song? – Joe Bob the Great

6. Save A Host (Ride A Flashboy) – Big O and Rich

7. A Boy Named Lou – Johnny Venmo

8. The Ballad of Postmaster Gerry – FlashSGT Barry Sadler

9. The Dale Went Down To Middays – Charles. Edward. Daniels.

10. Lonely ol’ Overnight (10-2 shift) – Ron Muskmelon Catamount

11. Before He Cheats (Again) – Sara Underwood

12. I’m Tellin’ You How To Fan -Sam “Ol’ Foot Locker” McBanjodick

13. Oh Atlanta – Eddie Money with Jaromir Jagr

14. One Hour DVR Extension – Jocko Fergus & the Coonhounds

15. The Wreck of the Joey Zarbano – Gordon Lightfoot

16. I Got Ratings In Low Places – Amalgam of Suck

17. Count The Numbers (Providence) – Sheetmetal Badgers

18. Elmira – Dick Teefe and the Downward Failers

19. Havelicek Myself Back Into Rehab – Bombay John and the Spring Water Slurrerers

20. Most Messed Up – The Old 93.7’s

BONUS TRACKS

Jesus Take the Wheel (Mut’s leaving the Horse track) – Carrie Underwood

Boys of the Fall(ing Ratings) – Kenny Chesney

And here is Disk 2, WEEI – Boston’s New Alternative:

1. Who You Drivin’ Now? – Muthoney

2. I Believe Nothing – Alex In Chains

3. All Star – Mush Mouth

4. Runaway Train – McLean Asylum

5. Hey There Pedroia – The Pricey White Tees

6. Sweet, Sweet, Sweetness – Beetle Eat World

7. Periscope Killed the Radio Star -The Circle Kirks

8. Frank From Gloucestah – Sheet Cake

9. I’m The Nicest Person I Know – Jenny and the Krylonettes

10. don’t tell me how to fan! – lc mafia

11. Danny California – The Red Headed Chili Bastards

12. In Bill We Trust (I Guess) – Hugh Patrick Sfanbut & The Toxic Objectivity Orchestra

13. Literally Sobbing – Gabs and the Starfish

14. Interstate 95 Love Song – Futility Lou

15. Shaw’s Super Bon Bon -Soul Hiccuping

16. AIDS Beer Pose – Salkgarden (Lawnmowerfinger: Live version)

17. Dancing on the Dunes – The Gamere Fens Nesters

18. Speculate/Hyperventilate – Fictional Friction

19. Visualization Of The Space Mind Gargamel XI: Winning The Offseason – Dero Spedes

20. Low Ratings Panic Attack – Radiodotcomhead

BONUS TRACK

Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town (is the Only One Who Still Like Joe Castig) – Pearl Jam

*Suggestions as to songs we missed are welcome in the comments.

A trans-WordPress cooperative collaboration with BSMW.net, who had it first before we had it first.

For Immediate Release – Solidarity Action

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We, the writing staff of The15net dot com, as a show of support to our striking brother and sister creatives in the Writers Guild of America, as of today, May 4, 2023 are engaged in a solidarity action. Nothing new will be written for the site as long as the grievances of the WGA remain unaddressed.

We do more writing as a society than ever before. It has now become the primary way we gather information and interact and connect with others. To allow writing to become devalued reduces us all immeasurably.

(Note – As the Sports Junk Drawer column regularly contains less than 49% newly written material it will be allowed to continue on its regular weekly publishing schedule during this sympathy strike.)

Lorum Ipsum,

The15net dot com writers and interns.

2023 March Sadness Tournament – Consolation Match

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The votes have been counted, and it will be two employees of The Baseball Paper squaring off in the Final. But before then, 3rd place must be decided. Felger. Masserotti. You know who they are, and what they do. Polls close at Noon Wednesday, April 5th, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.

Clowns acting like clowns.

Sour Sixteen Scouting Synopsis!

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(Again done by the redoubtable Patrick from Andover del Norte:)

Welcome to the Sour Sixteen preview! The two higher seeds in Region C should easily advance to the Hateful Eight(TM pending). After his suspension Mazz locked his twitter account, and then after Chris Curtis’s suspension Mazz deleted his twitter account! (Update: Tone’s account is back, but still locked. Like Felgie’s car should have been.) He’s obviously living in fear of winning this tournament. Things are so bad now that you have to buy a Cameo if you’d like to hear Tony’s “Amos ‘n’ Andy” impression. In other news, did you know that an autographed photo of Bert Breer is available for $25 on Ebay? Imagine how much that could be worth in a week! (Disclaimer: the capital value of Bertie’s autograph can fluctuate and the price can go down as well as up and is not guaranteed).

Kid Gas should trounce the Far Side Kid to open Region V action. Things get a little more interesting from there on out. You may think it’s odd that Boston’s paper of record employs a sports media ombudsman who lives outside the Boston DMA, but if the weather is perfectly clear, and the moon is full, Chad can more often than not pick up the Boston stations on his Nana’s Philco radio in Downeast Maine. You may have missed it on Friday when Chad postulated on Nip-gate: “I’m not calling for a firing here, but the apparent going rate at the station of a one-week hiatus for making a racist or sexist comment is rather low. It’s not like the show, which oscillates between a chore and a bore on most days, would suffer without his overbearing presence.” Chad had no such reservations, or comments, when his good friend Tomy Masserotti was suspended earlier this month for making racist comments. Obviously Mazz’s overbearing presence is key in the chore vs bore calculation, which is why his one-week suspension was deemed to be sufficient punishment. It’s also understandable for Chad to come down harder on a nobody like Curtis because, unlike those two random African-American gentlemen that Mazz slurred, Mina Kimes was nice enough to “like” one of Chad’s tweets. Finn sucks. However Large Gynamsium Murray is a bald-denying asshole, which makes this match-up too close to call.

Region N is “interesting!”, to quote its moronic #1 seed. Ben Volin may feel entitled to a 10-point advantage, or at least choice of uniforms, since he is the #1 seed in the region, but that won’t be necessary for him to easily dispatch Greg Bedard’s lapdog Nick Cattles. The other match-up is a battle of the ages. Dan Shaughnessy is far removed from relevancy, and from his 2011 Father of the Year award. Christian Arcand is desperately clinging to Adam Jones’ coattails, having been fired from 98.5 and soon to be fired from WEEI. More shockingly, Arcand is also apparently trying to appropriate Gabby Starr’s (#14 in Region T) culture – do a “Christian (from: @gfstarr1)” Twitter search for more enlightenment. Shank is a dinosaur, but Arcand is the voice of a new generation. YOUR generation. Vote accordingly.

Does anyone know what the hell is going on in Region T? The two plucky underdogs have been the story of this year’s tournament. Can Nick “Fitzy” Stevens continue drive the snakes out of the region and take down Michael Felger? Can Gabby Starr pass over Ted “the veg” Johnson? Do you believe in miracles of Old Testament proportions? Yes! No? You make the call. Remember, for a limited time, the the15netdotcomsportsbook is offering $200 in site credits for every $5 wagered on the March Sadness tournament! Time is running out, so Register Now!

(Problem gambling is an urge to gamble continuously despite negative consequences or a desire to stop. Problem gambling is often defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behaviour. Referring to your gambling unfailingly as ‘gaming’ may also be a sign. Severe problem gambling may be diagnosed as clinical pathological gambling if the gambler meets certain criteria. If you feel you or a loved one need help, of if you are considering a 4-leg parlay on how both of you need help, you can contact The Commonwealth’s Office of Problem Gambling Services Problem Gambling Helpline at (800) 327-5050 or go to https://www.mass.gov/orgs/office-of-problem-gambling-services.)

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

Mediot Madness Round of 32 Preview!

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Sent to us unbidden from Patrick in Andover del Norte:

Unlike the frauds at the NCAA tournament, the Big Sads selection committee knows a #1 seed when they see/hear one. Massarotti, Gasper, Volin and Felger are expected to glide o’er all, and through all, and easily advance to the Sour Sixteen. The rest of the match-ups have varying levels of intrigue.

Region C.. Dan Lifshatz (4) vs Lou Merloni (9) – It will be interesting to see if Merloni pull another rabbit out of his hat. He might put up a struggle, but Dan Lifshatz should swallow him whole. No shaking, no tenderizing, down Lou goes. Albert Breer (3) vs Andy Hart (6) – Andy Hart will be punching up at Albert Breer, however Bertie will be up to his old tricks and will piss all over Andy’s parade. Tom E Curran (2) vs Jim E Stewart (7) – Hey, did you hear about the dead cat on Mars? Curiosity killed it! Meanwhile back here on Earth, Curran should do us all a favor and kill J-Stew. Maybe not literally, but maybe, possibly.

Region V… Marc Bertrand (4) vs Brian Barrett (12) – If a hot take falls in the forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound? Barrett has awful opinions but, thankfully nobody is listening. He doesn’t have enough gravitas to counter Bertrand’s gravitational pull. Chad Finn (3) vs Mike Giardi (6) – Chad Finn is the biggest enabler in New England, next to my wife. You see, I’m an alcoholic and she said that if I keep drinking, she’ll leave me. Jim Murray (2) vs Jerry Thornton (10) – The clocks strikes 12 for Cinderfella. All Jerry does is hope Bill Belichick still knows what he’s doing, while Big Jim hopes you outlive your children. Jerry may not break double digits.

Region N… Andrew Calahan (5) vs Nick Cattles (13)- If this match-up was happening during football season Callahan may win easily, but in the off-season he goes back to his job guarding bridges. Out of sight out of mind. A vote for Cattles is an in absentia vote for last year’s champion Greg Bedard. Alex Reimer (6) vs Christian Arcand (14) – Does Reimer get creepy “Single White Female” vibes whenever he bumps into DJ Bean? Dan Shaugnessy (2) vs Rich Keefe (7) – Shank is irrelevant. He doesn’t have a regular TV/radio outlet, and the Globe is nice enough to keep his writing locked behind a paywall. Keefe is battling Arcand to see which one of them can be the first person fired from both radio stations. Will they square off in the next round? That’s for YOU to decide.

Region T… Scott Zolak (5) vs Fitzy (13) – Zolak is going to give Fitzy a wet willy and then stuff him in a locker. Kevin F. Paul Dupont (6) vs Gabby Starr Reporter (14) – Gabby is our version of Princeton, which is ironic because Princeton is one of the few Ivy League universities that she doesn’t claim to have attended. Ted Johnson (2) vs Meg Ottolini (10) – Ted Johnson’s synaptic gaps have gotten so wide that Meg will slip right through them and into the Sour Sixteen.

(Round Two will start today at 10 AM EDT. Wicked soon!)

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

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