Author Archives: TheIntern15

March – TO’s & Three’s – Celtics Column

Too soon? Don’t care.

Very rarely can you accurately pinpoint when a team is in the middle of something extremely special. Yes, the Celtics have not won the title – yet. But they are winning in such a dominating fashion they aren’t just the favorites to win the championship, but to be a team we hold in high regard for decades after the fact.

Boston’s net rating sit at 11.6, sandwiched between the 2016-17 Golden State Warriors and 2015-16 San Antonio Spurs for fourth best in the history of the league. For even more context the 2007-08 Celtics net rating was 11.2. But let’s focus on the fact the Celtics have compiled a team that statistically rivals the Kevin Durant GSWarriors. They won 67-games that year and everyone still believes they were pacing themselves, they were that good – and the Celtics are in their company for this regular season.

Sit back and really bask in this glory for the fleeting moments we have it. For even if it does not end the way we wish it to, you’ll kick yourself for focusing only on the destination and ignoring the fruits of the journey.

If they are able to close the deal then I can say not only was this the best Celtics team of my life time, but perhaps of all-time. While Jayson Tatum is no Larry Bird, and Kristaps Porzingis is no Bill Russell, what this team provides is the best elements of the 1986 and 1962 teams and super charges them and even makes the greats look human by comparison. 

‘I wouldn’t go that far, Tone.’

The ability to go five-out and have your only non floor spacer be Luke Kornet is embarrassing. Having Jrue Holiday, the No. 3 option on a title team act as your No. 5 is embarrassing. Having 2nd Team All-NBAer Jaylen Brown as your No. 3 is embarrassing. The fact Jayson Tatum doesn’t even have to force his hand and can walk into any shot he wants is embarrassing. Brad Stevens found his Dennis Johnson in Holiday. He couldn’t find his Bill Russell, but Yao Ming with a 3-point shot in Porzingis will suffice. 

Normal teams don’t get to survive slumps from their player and still win by 20. They don’t spank a Warriors team rediscovering their mojo by 52. They don’t go 12-4 over the first 49-games, then win 11 in a row. Speaking of the win streak, some fun stats to put into perspective this recent stretch of excellence: Top average margin of victory ever during a win streak of at least 10 games (+22.1 during 11-game streak); Top average scoring margin over any six-game span in NBA history (+29.8) – Per Marc D’Amico on Twitter/X. 

Leave Jaylen open?

Brown is making a case for All-NBA, his post-All Star break run averaging 27.2/5.8/3.4 on 59.5/45.2/73 shooting splits averaging 9.6 points in the frst quarter. He may not be Tommy Heinsohn, or Kevin McHale, but rich man’s Vinnie Johnson is more than enough for me. 

Porzingis’ All-NBA case grows by the day, as it is becoming increasingly evident, he is the No. 2 behind Tatum. He is averaging 20/7/2 on 66 True Shooting %. His net ratings are nearly identical to Tatum (+11 ON +8 OFF) only behind White with a crazy (+13.3 ON, + 5 OFF) much higher than Brown (+8.7 ON, +13.3 OFF) Add to that he’s also having one of his best defensive seasons in his career on top of this great offensive season.

It’s an embarrassment of riches and the reason I implore you to put your fears aside is even if they do hurt you in the end, the feeling of loss will remain the same regardless you brace for it now or later. 

This team is TOO TALENTED for even a willing-to-spend owner to keep together. When the time comes to break them up it’s likely that Brown will be replaced by an in-house player or someone from the bargain bin because that’s what happens when your best players are making “too much”. It’s not bad cap management, it’s just the God’s honest truth; great teams cost money. The Warriors are on the back end of their run because their best players are on the back-nine eating up a large sum of the pie. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s the natural cycle of contention. What matters is you make the right bets in the end. 

Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not live in mortgage-free Western Mass.

Football Cat’s Super Bowl Picks

Biggest Sportsing Day of the Year, so far.

49ers (-2) at Chiefs in Las Vegas

Patrick Mahomes has more lives than a cat, but I can’t pick against Brock Purrrdy. Competent game management wins Soupeys. So there.

My SB MVP Pick? former Panther Christian McCaffrey

Halftime performance cameo appearance with Usher? Doja Cat.

Best SB commercial: Hellmann’s ‘Mayo Cat’

Mayo Cat

Thanks to all the humans who assisted in me making my picks this year. Except when they steered me into the wrong team. Hiss! Let’s do this next season! Unless I don’t want to.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s NFL Conference Championship Picks

Football Cat would knock Will McDonough into a laundry cart.

Four teams, two games. Football Cat predicted three correctly last week. Let’s go!!!

SUNDAY SNACKTIME

Chiefs at Ravens (-3.5)

Don’t like it, but gotta do it.

Missouri has bobcats and mountain lions, Maryland only bobcats. But the Evil Birds are evil and will prevail.

SUNDAY DINNERTIME

Lions at 49ers (-7)

Jungle Kings versus Purrrdy and his Prospectors. The heart wants the felines to win, but the head will stick with San Francisco.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Divisional Round NFL Playoff Picks

Football Cat knows football.

If you followed my betting advice last week I hope you bought yourself something pretty.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Texans at Ravens (-9.5)

Wildcatting Texans look good. Evil Birds are evil. I like the upset.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Packers at 49ers (-9.5)

Prospectors Prepared for Packers.

SUNDAY NAPTIME

Buccaneers at Lions (-6.5)

Pewts versus Pumas. Can’t pick against a cat team at this point in the season.

No salty privateers would willingly tangle with this Lion.

SUNDAY SUPPERTIME

Chiefs at Bills (-2.5)

Bisons lose because of penalties called on their idiot fans throwing snowballs, and worse.

Football Cat’s Super Wild Card Weekend NFL Picks

Wild Cards or wild cats?

Football Cat has graciously agreed to work the playoffs after very successful regular season. And so:

SATURDAY SUNSET

Browns (-2.5) at Texans

Tricksters versus wildcatters. ‘Stroud’ sounds like a cat warning growl, ‘Flacco’ sounds like one coughing up a hairball. Texans win.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Dolphins at Chiefs (-4.5)

Stupidly cold weather favors neither team. So playoff experience wins out. Kansas City gets the W.

If there are any other cheapskates interested in watching the Chiefs-Dolphins game you can get Peacock for free if you sign up for a free 2 week trial of Instacart+ (whatver that is). You don’t need to give them any real info, I just signed up with my burner email address and a fake name; I used’Morris Katz.’

SUNDAY SUNSET

Packers at Cowboys (-7.5)

Cows undefeated at home. Will that matter? Of course it will! Big D big W.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Rams at Lions (-3)

Sorry Shovey Sheep, but this is the only cat team in the playoffs. I’m going to be parochial.

MONDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Bills (-10)

Bisons don’t deserve to win after getting the game moved because of snow. But deserve got nothing to do with it.

Snow Cat. See what I did there?

MONDAY PROWLTIME

Eagles (-3) at Buccaneers

Buccaneers have momentum, Philly does not. The Pewter Privateers win at home.

Egads.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks

Get. Yer. Ress.

Lots of teams resting starters in advance of the playoffs this week. I can understand that.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Steelers (-4) at Ravens

Will the Evil Birds take the gaspipe in the hopes the spirits conspire to keep Buffalo out of the ‘yoffs? Yes.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Texans (-1) at Colts

Wildcat Texans round up the Little Horsies.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Buccaneers (-4.5) at Panthers

Bad year for the luckless Black Cats ends as it began.

Browns at Bengals (-7)

Stripey Cats are desperate, Browns have put the bag of tricks away until the playoffs. Cincy wins.

Vikings at Lions (-3.5)

Jungle Kings don’t want to go 3-3 in the division and won’t.

Jets at Patriots (-2)

Prediction: Pats Pirouette Past Planes

Falcons at Saints (-3)

The animals of God’s creation inhabit the skies, the earth, and the sea. They share in the ways of human beings. They have a part in our lives. Francis of Assisi recognized this when he called the animals, wild and tame, his brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, Saints win.

Jaguars (-5) at Titans

Spotted Cats disrespect the Titans.

Seahawks (-2.5) at Cardinals

Cardinals are real birds. Seahawks are not. Nevertheless, the False Birds win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Bears at Packers (-3)

Da. Bears. Da Win.

Chiefs at Chargers (-3.5)

Chiefs win because of course they do.

Broncos at Raiders (-3)

This is the game that ends in a tie.

Eagles (-5) at Giants

Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Giants prove this in bad weather against the Phils.

Rams at 49ers (-4)

No Brock Purrdy, no matter? Not if the Shovey Sheep have anything to say about it. Rams win.

Cowboys (-4) at Commanders

Cowpokes want the #2 Seed. Won’t need much fancy ropin’ to get it.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Bills (-3) at Dolphins

Prediction: Payables Pork Porps.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Attack of the Return of the Intern Street Team People on the Street Interview

Our Intern Street Team was out and about over the holiday weekend asking the locals, “What are your New Year’s resolutions?”

“To find out where everybody else got those cool hats.“
“To speak with more vocal fry.”
“To set achievable goals. And to convince several local athletes to join my new sports marketing agency.”
“To produce a podcast about the documentary about Boston’s sneaker culture.”
“To keep the Christmas tree up all year!”
“To definitely not do that.”
“Plagiarism.”
“To claim I’m into sports to gain followers on the socials from men who are desperate and want easy clout.”
“To dress appropriately for the weather.”
“To grill outdoors every month of the year.” 
“To grow into a food allergy.”
“Three words. More latex outfits.”
“To mix in a water spacer every now and then.”
“To travel more than 50 miles from where I grew up.”
“To remember to change the channel on my car radio after listening to the game.”
“More eggs, more black coffee, and more sunshine.”
“To get my CDL.”
“To finally buckle down and finish my manifesto.”

Happy New Year, everybody.

TO’s & Three’s – Celtics Column

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Modern sports media and its consumption is tightly wound in a disingenuous ball, trust fund kids acting as rats in a race searching for the angle that’ll get them the most attention. A cross to nail someone or themselves on, with the secret knowledge there is a chance they’ll be proven right incidentally regardless of what their overall point was.

The “Celtics shoot too many threes” accusation makes the rounds via Twitter, various podcasts and columnists, and it’s not like Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla is willing to play grab ass with the media to dull the knives. He’s a steely-eyed psycho who acknowledges the limited effect(s) he has on the game and can only help to taxi the flight back to the runway in one piece.* If the Celtics win the title this year, they’ll be no parade for Mazzulla, no vindication, only “You were supposed to, and these aren’t even your plays – they’re Udoka’s”, but it they fall short via Jimmy Butler and his playoff bullshit, or Caleb Martin and the Heat enjoying another outlier series shooting the ball, then he’ll be vilified as the man who screwed the Celtics out of a title. After all, the narrative pushed by “Celtics fan” Bill Simmons is Mazzulla didn’t get along with Marcus Smart, and the Celtics doubled down on their coach over their heart and soul, and this is how he repaid them???

“Um, did YOU write The Book of Basketball, caller? You did not write The Book of Basketball.”

Mazzulla is not doing anything that goes against the grain to earn this sort of scrutiny, and his coaching habits are par for the course. Every team “plays like the Warriors” nowadays, in fact, the Celtics are probably the most diverse team currently in how they mix in inside action with Kristaps Porzingis. Many teams do not have the ability to shoot and make the high variant of threes like the Celtics and enjoy the splendor of the added dimension Porzingis has brought in, and Mazzulla deserves credit for integrating him so smoothly given the issues Rick Carlisle had in Dallas doing the same thing. Sadly, no one ever says that. 

If the Golden State Warriors went and jumped off a bridge, would Mazzulla tell the Celtics to do that too?

Because this is the NBA, where players win games and coaches lose them. Only Erik Spoelstra as of now can make the argument he can strategize around certain defeat. Mazzulla cannot go toe-to-toe with Spoelstra, and the hope is he won’t have to. It’s not uncommon for the better coach to lose because the lesser one had the better team. And for all intents and purposes the Celtics appear to be the better team. They just have to play like it and that all rests on the shoulders of Jayson Tatum. The evolutionary Paul George. Defensive switchblade, underrated court vision, can score from all three levels with a coolness Celtics fans haven’t seen since Larry Joe Bird. 

But there is one fabled test No. 0 must pass in order to truly get over the hump. The stage is set for him to do it, like it was for Bird in ‘81, LeBron James in ‘12, Giannis in ‘21. The team is a well-oiled machine, chock full of talent whose positive attributes are infectious even to the marginal bench players enjoying fruitful stints on the hardwood. It’s an environment you want for your superstar entering his prime. The athleticism is there, the experience is there, he’s gone toe-to-toe with the best the league has to offer and has no reason not to hold his head up high. 

Yet… something is missing and that something is assertiveness. That something is when the world is crumbling all around you, the momentum is no longer on your side and your teammates aren’t getting their shots to go in due to the moment consuming them, can Tatum rise up, take the rock and barrel into contact like even a Butler with the full confidence in his ability to finish or at least draw a foul?

That’s what’s going to be the real moment of truth for the Celtics. Not Mazzulla and his timeouts, or if the three-point well runs dry – that last point is expected because it happens virtually to every team except the one who wins the championship. It’s how will Tatum respond when the team is up against it — and the breaks are beating the boys will No. 0 win one for Lucky? 

The Business remains Unfin18hed.

Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not live on the South Shore.

. . .

(*- No disrespect to the Orientals)

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