The 15

I’m no computer nerd, but the best way to avoid B*arstool tweets probably isn’t throwing a banana cream pie at their clown car.

Mazzulla is always visibly fuming when Drew Carter does the pre-game interview.

Kirk is taking Mut not knowing what a sitcom is really hard.

I wonder if Dianna Russini has thoughts about the Olivia Nuzzi revelations.

Being able to move on from your playing days is a skill.

I was just thinking, is Barstool ready for what they’ve started? No one messes with Hardy and Sarge’s crew and gets away it.

Coed adult cheerleading team?

Red Sox now have a new catcher, but only one bullpen lefty. Concerning.

Cakes are cooking for Ted Turner, Eddie Raynor, Calvin Klein, Dennis Hull, Bob Boone, Ahmad Rashad, Robert Beltran, Kathleen Quinlan, Ann Curry, Charlie Kaufman, Michael Wilbon, Alison Janney, Grant Ledyard, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Terry Farrell, Paul Weitz, Gail Devers, Rocco DiSpirito, Gary Disarcina, Justin Chancellor, Jeremy McGrath, Savion Glover, Jack Dorsey, Kerri Strug, Ryan Howard, Adam Driver, and Patrick Kane.

Little known fact: The viceroy and roy aren’t constitutionally allowed to fly on the same airplane.

I had a Pop-Tart and feel disgusting.

Never in NFL history has a backup QB come into a game and used it as the launchpad for a successful career.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Editorial discretion.”

Meanwhile, the phrase that never pays to say is and remains, “May I meet you?”

The NFL is better when the Jaguars are good.

Stan Musial: 1815 home hits. I815 road hits. As the Ol’ Perfessor would say, “You can look it up.”

One might say Kenni’s about to grow into an allergy… of getting owned.

Aaron Glenn looks like the leader of a slave rebellion.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

Surely this Kendra humiliation will cut through all the squids telling her how great she is.

“Blue-collar chip on shoulder guy” is a top 5 annoying personality type.

Robert appearing to be half a head taller than Gronk thanks to his booster seat is ridiculous.

Kirk Herbstreit’s job at this point is just humoring doddering old men while they prattle on about bullshit from 30 years ago. “Oh, really, Hartford? Wow, crazy.”

If Gresh blocked at URI like he does on Twitter he would’ve been drafted.

Does Pete Carroll have a legacy and is it in flames?

John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio at Survivor Series would absolutely slap.

YOU were in a rock fight with the Jets, caller!

Normally you had to pay admission to one of Portnoy’s old Barstool foam parties to get that level of abused.

Have any of the radio stations gone to all-Thanksgiving music yet?

Honk if you remember Briff.

Rewatching the Patriots game and it brought up a random thought. I really miss the bond you get from being on a team. I miss that team camaraderie. Nothing like it. Anyone else miss it? Let us know in the comments.

Now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness
In order to shield my pride, I’ve tried to cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don’t let my show convince you
That I’ve been happy since you decided to go (why did you go?)
Oh, I need you so (I need you so)
I’m hurt and I want you to know (want you to know)
But for others I put on a show (it’s just a show)

Ooh ah, there’s some sad things known to man
But there ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown
When there’s no one around, oh yeah

Mais non, cher, from what I see, Gresh lost over 100 pounds back in 2019 wit’ a program, not Ozempic. No sign he usin’ dat stuff. Callin’ him a slob? Dat’s subjective, me, but he a sharp sports guy. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

You had me at “ok face.”

Imagine thinking having 5 active jobs on the ol’ LinkedIn looks good.

When did YAC yards become RAC yards?

You know a guy is dirty when Mark Schelreth says, “this guy isn’t dirty.”

BYU and UNC will have an epic Holiday Bowl in 2027.

Next thing you know we’re going to find out she doesn’t really work 65 hours a week.

Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Johnny Beecher.

Best bet for the weekend: Bill the GM’s former players playing well on other NFL squads.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Wash before wearing.