The 15

All the cvnts who were performatively rooting for TCU Monday are the same ones who told us they were just being unbiased for years.

“The diamond is loaded” is absolutely a thing that people say.

I already want Tommy DeVito and his greasy butt plug of a manager dead.

All these years Boston sports fans hated Peyton Manning.  Now they love Payton Pritchard and Payton Tolle.  Amazing what swapping out an E for an A will do.

The next Jordon Hudson joke is going to be the funny one; I can feel it.

Brennan Bernardino looks like Noel Gugliemi.

They gave his radio show to a puffy whore. They took away his casino access. They made him angry. And you don’t make Dan Lifshatz angry.

Cakes are cooking for Dick Motta, Al Jardine, Dave Eichelberger, Valerie Perrine, Eric Bell, Don Brewer, Steve Jones, Costas Mandylor, Spike Feresten, Charlie Sheen, Chris Gatling, Luis Gonzalez, Keith Traylor, Martin Straka, Damon Stoudamire, Jevon Kearse, Garrett Hedlund, Shaun White, Dominic Thiem, Kaia Gerber, and Eileen Gu.

Jimmy Bulger would have turned 95 today too, Danny. But as the Bard wrote, “violent delights have violent ends.”

Hey gang of three-color carbonless invoice enthusiasts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Do you have other plans today, or is that it?”

Old, white guys really love coffee.

The home run leader in the American League and the National League are both from the Cape Cod League. You’re welcome.

Green Line D Branch Reminder: Through September 11 Shuttle buses are replacing service between Kenmore and Riverside for maintenance work. Express shuttles are operating between Newton Highlands and Copley.

You know it’s a big event when Blake Snell shows up.

People from New England that use y’all should be shot in the face.

Someone please give James Gunn a hug and tell him how proud they are about how many obscure comic book characters he knows.

Nobody sweats enough to need 5000+ mgs of sodium a day.

Lays knows how to make potato chips, their Sour Cream & Onion and Barbecue flavors especially.

On May 13, 2004, the Boston Red Sox were blown out 12-6 by the Toronto Blue Jays and got passed for first place in the AL East by the New York Yankees. Roman Anthony was born that day. The rest is history.

I love when people pretend not understand why Irish-American Catholics root for Notre dame. So silly!

My dad is going to hang himself because my mom will watch the auto-previews on Netflix for hours and not pick anything to actually watch.

Good job, rookie Oriental golfer lady.

Noel Gugliemi is an American actor best known for his portrayals of Southern Californian gangsters.

Matt Patricia rolling out an overload sim with Caleb Downs on the line paired with a coffee house stunt the other way. Hooooo boy.

If the Sun moves to Boston, and assuming they adopt the Celtics colors and theme, they should absolutely be renamed the Banshees.

Not Luis Suarez!

Portugal is advancing to the next round of EuroBasket after a thrilling win following Neemias Queta’s ejection.

Roman has a strained oblique? Oh! Bleak!

Ay these edits on Tik Tok these days are on another level ! I don’t know what they are feeding these young hustlers but my goodness! Keep goin crazy!!!

Four young chiquitas in Omaha
A waitin’ for the band to return from the show
Feelin’ good, feelin’ right, it’s Saturday night
The hotel detective, he was outta sight

Now these fine ladies, they had a plan
They was out to meet the boys in the band
They said, “Come on dudes, let’s get it on”
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down.

I really feel like Saturdays are for Dr. Pepper ads and Sundays are for State Farm. Make it happen.

Woah, they released Buehler?

Honk if you remember the longest game in Fenway Park’s history, a 20 inning 8-7 loss to Seattle.

It’s time for Captain’s Skate at WARRIOR ICE ARENA already?

Well actually, Pete Rose is still not in the Baseball Hall of Fame, Mr. President.

Good for you, Jeff Howe. Way to wrest control from that dangerous spiral of six beers a week.

Tommy DeVito…we’re supposed to believe that this is a real person?

SportsChannel and NESN were $20/month on Continental Cablevision in the 80s. I paid for it with my paper route.

Wrexham has a midget.

With whom is Drake Maye getting his revenge? His elementary school teachers?

Kenny Anderson understands brand loyalty!

BC Eagles looking good early.

Best bet for the weekend: win or lose, no Gatorade bath for Coach Vrabes.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. We lose 80 minutes of daylight in September.