The 15

I say the Competition Committee should reach a compromise: ban the Tush Push but keep The Brotherly Shove.

Walking around Montreal during/after a blizzard is a great workout.

Do birds like cheese?

They might have support groups for those who listen to spring training baseball on the radio.

Garden crowds are the best.

Let’s be real. The Canadian flag would make for a terrible bikini.

St. John’s is the best hoops team in New York.

A belated R.I.P. to figure skating legend Dick Button. He is survived by his partner, Clit Zipper.

Cakes are cooking for Bill Duke, Mitch Ryder, Michael Bolton, Connie Carpenter-Phinney, Joe Mullen, Dave Palone, J.T. Snow, Meeno Peluce, Sasha Danilovic, Erykah Badu, Jenny Thompson, Marshall Faulk, Chad Urmston, Corinne Bailey Rae, Katherine Hull Kirk, and Li Na.

The first a capella “Sweet Caroline” of the year always gets me.

Dan Lifshatz and Kendra Middleton have the chemistry of a Hollywood producer and the young actress he violates on the casting couch.

Hey gang of haters, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m gonna go ahead and take the under.”

Patrick Schwarzenegger is on ‘The White Lotus?’ Any relation?

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while Signal personnel perform maintenance between Maverick and Airport. Trains may stand by at stations.

Bill Simmons invented the documentary.

Imagine being mad the NY Yankees did away with their stupid appearance policy.

In the future, everyone will be Ted Sarandis for fifteen minutes.

Matthew Stafford’s exploration of his market value the last few weeks has indeed attracted significant interest from teams, notably the Raiders and the Giants, per sources. Teams are anticipating the Rams will now be driving up the asking price if they decide to move him.

Statistically, Nelson Cruz and Giancarlo Stanton are pretty much the same player.

The Oscars have to be the Super Bowl for Twitter.

Who’s has more fatalities since 1975: SNL cast members or Pittsburgh Steelers linemen?

Shout out Portugal!

The Yankees will no longer play Frank Sinatra’s “Theme from New York, New York” after losses, the club confirmed. Instead, there will be a rotating selection of songs — Sinatra’s “That’s Life” was played today.

Wearin’ her perfume, Chanel no. 5
Got to be the finest girl alive.
She walks real cool, catches everybody’s eye.
She’s got such good lovin’ that they can’t say goodbye.
Not too skinny, she’s not too fat.
She’s a real humdinger and i like it like that.
She’s the devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on.
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on.

Sixers have like four guys going with the Frederick Douglass cut.

Honk if you remember Margo Adams.

Johnny Cash is overrated.

Does Pete Blackburn have the Little Sads?

I was kinda hoping Diana Taurasi would delay her retirement announcement long enough to deprive another player deserving of a spot in the next Olympics.

The 4 Nations Face-off? A cute, fun tournament, but doesn’t compare to the Miracle on Ice.

Dan Hurley knows he can shut the fuck up every now and then, right?

Also, Jay Glazer has devolved into a Dick Tracy villain or the henchman of some megalomaniac.

Emily Kaplan, is she Amish?

Everyone look at Gronk. He needs attention.

I can handle a couple seasons of a rebuild, Bruins. Do what you gotta do.

Best bet for the weekend: more load management for Cooper Flagg.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Because you’re mine. I walk the line.