The 15

Our long national nightmare of Katie Nolan not being on TV is over.

The Seminoles got wicked Sturrowed! #lol

Jarren Duran being the only guy to not tap out is quite the 180 from two years ago.

Jerod sooo wanted to wear a C as a player.

Johnny Gaudreau seemed to be too nice a guy to have gone to BC. Very sad.

My fantasy football draft strategy? Just vibes.

Cakes are cooking for Ken Harrelson, Ray Floyd, Tom Watson, Martin Chambers, Blackie Lawless, Khandi Alexander, George Hurley, Damon Wayans, John Vanbiesbrouck, Tomas Sandström, Mike Piazza, Ione Skye, Wes Bentley, Pat Neshek, Beyoncé, Hildur Guðnadóttir, Kaillie Humphries, and Olha Kharlan.

Additionally, Brother John Irons is also entitled to a cake today.

Red Line Reminder: September 6-29 No Train service between JFK/UMass and Braintree due to track work. Commuter Rail alternatives are available. Shuttle buses will not service JFK/UMass.

What made you think Jaylen got hacked? Weird tweets?

Hard to believe a health nut like (checks notes) Fatman Scoop just collapsed like that. RIP.

I need to know who the IU and Purdue are of the ACC.

The most effective fly swatter I have ever tried is a rolled-up bath towel. The hitting surface is like ten times larger than fly swatter, and it tends to stun them without smashing them and creating little blood spots.

Do you guys remember how fun it used to be to ask questions?

Hey gang of accountability experts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “a frustrated Rafael Devers sat with a bat for about 40 minutes staring into his locker.”

Triston Casas exists within a vibe and the vibeless cannot stand him for it.

Who is your personal favorite San Diego Padres prospect who never really made it? Someone who never reached Majors or never got much opportunity to play. I’ll go with Dennis Tankersley. So close to Eck! Had to root for him. But he did nothing to earn more opportunity.

Every time Joe Furey is on TV it seems like the first time ever.

Maybe the racially ambiguous bull dykes shouldn’t goon up on the nice white lady? Just a thought.

Brian Kelly looks like a general contractor that’s always bringing you bad news.

Count me among the Tiafoe fans. Love the way he plays tennis.

Sometimes, in a quiet moment, I’ll be listening to the cicadas, and I’ll get lost in thought and remember that the Boston Celtics won the 2024 NBA Finals and have the most titles in NBA history.

Now look at the people
In the streets, in the bars
We are all of us in the gutter
Some of us are looking at the stars
Look ’round the room
Life is unkind
We fall but we keep gettin’ up
Over and over and over…

Me and you, every night, every day.
We’ll be together always this way.
Your eyes are blue like the heavens above.
Talk to me darlin’, with a message of love.

Denver Broncos and two-time Pro-Bowl CB Patrick Surtain ll reached agreement today on a four-year, $96 million extension that includes $77.5 million guaranteed, now making him the highest-paid defensive back in NFL history. Tory Dandy of CAA negotiated the deal.

Katie Nolan won’t stop until she’s fired from every sports outlet in North America.

Franklin Park Zoo lights: Super cool.

The current condition of Ponkapoag must have Donald Ross rolling around in his grave.

Taylor Mathis doesn’t realize she could walk around reading the ingredients for raisins and her followers would not give a hoot. Not one hoot.

Honk if you remember Tom Tupa scoring the first 2-point conversion in NFL history.

Oh yeah, Chris Gasper. There’s your answer.

News Item: Former Patriots wide receiver Danny Amendola joining ‘Dancing with the Stars.’

When selling a home, I tell all my clients, “Hide your Fluff.”

Except for hockey, the C on the jersey always triggers me. It was so lame when Varitek wore it, and the NFL gays it up another level with the stars, always loved that Bill wouldn’t allow it. It’s just another reminder how the Kraft’s are hellbent on distancing themselves from the greatest coach of all time. Complete loser asshole behavior.

Chris Sale was doing his best impression of Eric Idle in European Vacation last year and now he’s pitching like a gentile Koufax.

Best bet for the weekend: Tennessee Volunteer Charles Davis handling Tennessee Volunteer Jerod Mayo with kid gloves during Sunday’s broadcast.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Lebron and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Message of love.