Throughout the first few weeks of the regular season, coach Joe Mazzulla has discovered what works and what doesn’t: tapering the rotation, trimming Anfernee Simons’ minutes when it’s clear he doesn’t have it, and putting Chris Boucher on ice to free up minutes for the emerging Neemias Queta and the hot-and-cold Luka Garza.
It’s no secret what Boston lacked heading into the season and continues to miss—a glaring void that stares you in the face during every game: the absence of elite passing, dribbling, a steady hand at the wheel during moments of crisis, and rebounding whenever Queta is on the bench.
Not having Jayson Tatum around makes it easier for opposing teams to strangle the offense, especially in the last two minutes. The Celtics in the clutch lack sufficient answers, and the offense reverts to a “cross your fingers and hope it works out” philosophy. Boston sports a 2-6 record in close games. Their offensive rating sits at 118.4; defensive rating at 112.9; and net rating at +5.4. Derrick White and Payton Pritchard are solid players, but filling in for the role Jrue Holiday once did is above their pay grade. They’re better suited as connective passers, not table-setters.
Johnston Joe is a hard-nosed Rhode Islander.
How the Celtics cobbled together 7 wins in the season’s first 14 games stems from a hard-nosed, barebones approach that takes every game to the wire. If I were to tell you White was shooting just 35.9% to start the year, you’d assume the team ranked amongst the dregs. But it’s how players like him have contributed on defense even when being challenged offensively that is a testament to “Mazzulla-Ball” and its flexibility. Defense is the real bulwark of this team that’s held together by duct tape—White being the best shot-blocking guard on any roster.
The aforementioned big man, Queta, and his 7-foot frame—able to shift his hips like a soccer player on the pitch to stay with his man even outside the paint—keeps the defense from having to collapse inside to help. His 108.7 defensive rating, on top of his +13.1 on/off-court rating, showcases the rewards of Boston’s years of development of him since coming over from Sacramento. It was once far-fetched to imagine Queta being anything but a rotational big man; now, you have to imagine a contract extension is in play if he keeps this up.
There is no need to be afraid of Jordan Walsh when he is off the court.
In the middle of their in-between season, the Celtics have managed to keep themselves interesting. Jordan Walsh is slowly emerging as a credible defender, having back-to-back solid efforts against Tyrese Maxey and James Harden. The younger players have earned their keep.
Fans have labeled the Celtics’ approach to the season “Ethical Tanking”—losing games while maintaining competitiveness. While it’s likelier to land the Celtics outside of the lottery, perhaps it leaves open the possibility that they aren’t far from re-entering the title conversation when Tatum comes back next season.
Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not livein Johnston.
Man. Quoting Cam Newton in Ebonics is a rough look.
I’m no computer nerd, but the best way to avoid B*arstool tweets probably isn’t throwing a banana cream pie at their clown car.
Mazzulla is always visibly fuming when Drew Carter does the pre-game interview.
Kirk is taking Mut not knowing what a sitcom is really hard.
I wonder if Dianna Russini has thoughts about the Olivia Nuzzi revelations.
Being able to move on from your playing days is a skill.
I was just thinking, is Barstool ready for what they’ve started? No one messes with Hardy and Sarge’s crew and gets away it.
Coed adult cheerleading team?
Red Sox now have a new catcher, but only one bullpen lefty. Concerning.
Cakes are cooking for Ted Turner, Eddie Raynor, Calvin Klein, Dennis Hull, Bob Boone, Ahmad Rashad, Robert Beltran, Kathleen Quinlan, Ann Curry, Charlie Kaufman, Michael Wilbon, Alison Janney, Grant Ledyard, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Terry Farrell, Paul Weitz, Gail Devers, Rocco DiSpirito, Gary Disarcina, Justin Chancellor, Jeremy McGrath, Savion Glover, Jack Dorsey, Kerri Strug, Ryan Howard, Adam Driver, and Patrick Kane.
Little known fact: The viceroy and roy aren’t constitutionally allowed to fly on the same airplane.
I had a Pop-Tart and feel disgusting.
Never in NFL history has a backup QB come into a game and used it as the launchpad for a successful career.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Editorial discretion.”
Meanwhile, the phrase that never pays to say is and remains, “May I meet you?”
The NFL is better when the Jaguars are good.
Stan Musial: 1815 home hits. I815 road hits. As the Ol’ Perfessor would say, “You can look it up.”
One might say Kenni’s about to grow into an allergy… of getting owned.
Aaron Glenn looks like the leader of a slave rebellion.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Surely this Kendra humiliation will cut through all the squids telling her how great she is.
“Blue-collar chip on shoulder guy” is a top 5 annoying personality type.
Robert appearing to be half a head taller than Gronk thanks to his booster seat is ridiculous.
Kirk Herbstreit’s job at this point is just humoring doddering old men while they prattle on about bullshit from 30 years ago. “Oh, really, Hartford? Wow, crazy.”
If Gresh blocked at URI like he does on Twitter he would’ve been drafted.
Does Pete Carroll have a legacy and is it in flames?
John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio at Survivor Series would absolutely slap.
YOU were in a rock fight with the Jets, caller!
Normally you had to pay admission to one of Portnoy’s old Barstool foam parties to get that level of abused.
Have any of the radio stations gone to all-Thanksgiving music yet?
Honk if you remember Briff.
Rewatching the Patriots game and it brought up a random thought. I really miss the bond you get from being on a team. I miss that team camaraderie. Nothing like it. Anyone else miss it? Let us know in the comments.
Now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness In order to shield my pride, I’ve tried to cover this hurt with a show of gladness But don’t let my show convince you That I’ve been happy since you decided to go (why did you go?) Oh, I need you so (I need you so) I’m hurt and I want you to know (want you to know) But for others I put on a show (it’s just a show)
Ooh ah, there’s some sad things known to man But there ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown When there’s no one around, oh yeah
Mais non, cher, from what I see, Gresh lost over 100 pounds back in 2019 wit’ a program, not Ozempic. No sign he usin’ dat stuff. Callin’ him a slob? Dat’s subjective, me, but he a sharp sports guy. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
You had me at “ok face.”
Imagine thinking having 5 active jobs on the ol’ LinkedIn looks good.
When did YAC yards become RAC yards?
You know a guy is dirty when Mark Schelreth says, “this guy isn’t dirty.”
BYU and UNC will have an epic Holiday Bowl in 2027.
Next thing you know we’re going to find out she doesn’t really work 65 hours a week.
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Johnny Beecher.
Best bet for the weekend: Bill the GM’s former players playing well on other NFL squads.
THE GARDEN was built for the brawlers, the bombers, THE ABSOLUTE SHOT-CALLERS! Beantown demands the PROS, baby, not some doe-eyed amateurs still figuring out which end of the rink is up! We shelled out our hard-earned cash to watch the GODS: Russell blockin’ shots into the Charles, Orr flyin’ end-to-end like a jet, Bird drainin’ ‘em with the silky smooth, Espo snipin’ top shelf where Mama hides the cookies! These are the GIANTS who strode among us mere mortals! So take that college kiddie carnival back down to Storrs, Geno!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Wash before wearing.
And happy birthday to Ukrainian-Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy.
Hey stupid, there was another, even easier way to retire as a Patriot.
Poor Kacsmar. Maye won a game where he made “over” 26 pass attempts. That means six more weeks of not leaving the basement.
Might be time for JB to make the call to Dr. Leonard. Just sayin’,
Portnoy has a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a personal chef and he’s still sloppy.
Baseball needs more awards. There; I said it.
Bill’s dream job becoming available enough to pry him out of Chapel Hill, caller?
Boston is cornering the market on Marco/Marko’s. Think Marco Scutaro wants a job with the Sox staff?
Ketamine makes you act inauthentic sometimes.
For Curt Schilling, there’s nothing hotter than sending someone to the showers. What?
Antonio Brown’s perpetual motion fall from grace continues. Tom vouched.
Cakes are cooking foe Wallace Shawn, Al Michaels, Booker T. Jones, Neil Young, Valerie Leon, Buck Dharma, Pooch Tavares, Jack Reed, Paul McNamee, Megan Mullally, Greg Gagne, Nadia Comăneci, Naomi Wolf, Erik Howard, Michael Moorer, Sammy Sosa, Tonya Harding, Mayte Garcia, Radha Mitchell, Ashley Williams, Cote de Pablo, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway, Jason Day, and Russell Westbrook.
Nap Lajoie is the only Hall of Famer whose plaque includes the word “graceful.” Would loved to have seen him play.
Ending a bag of peanuts on a good peanut is an underrated great feeling.
Portnoy brought in Hogdale to look skinny by comparison.
Why didn’t Dondero pause for a longer amount of time before executing that completely spontaneous spit-take?
All the best football experts promote shady gaming apps.
Red Line Update: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier train with a door issue at Davis. Service is proceeding.
Imagine having a kid and wanting to tell Perrault and Carrabis.
Zolak talked all over the 4th down stop, which was good because then he was all tuckered out for the Henderson run.
How is it 2025 in America and most stores in the mall don’t stock 3XL T-shirts?
National Signing Day and it’s some retard in a shitty cafeteria choosing between Endicott and Fitchburg State hats.
Who needs Mac & Cheese on Thanksgiving?
I’m so glad Rich Eisen went back to ESPN, so we don’t have to listen to his terrible play-by-play.
Mike Lombardi’s hair looks like when a guy in a 70s sitcom had a hairpiece that would fall off and he’d frantically put it on backward.
Papaya Gaming?
Hey gang of grifting gals, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She has the shape of a DeNucci.”
If tinnitus is a disability I’m Stephen fucking Hawking.
RA slurs so much that the generated captions don’t match what he’s saying.
Team Bucko Kilroy here. For reasons.
Hey buddy, haven’t you heard there’s a penny shortage in this country?
Seven game winning streaks. So hot right now.
Too soon to call Flagg a GM killer?
C’mon UMass!
Honk if you remember Grönk Flakes.
This is obviously all a ploy for Mina Kimes to promote her Mahjong app.
He’s a perfect stranger Like a cross of himself and a fox He’s a feeling arranger And a changer of the ways he talk He’s the unforeseen danger The keeper of the key to the lock
Know when you see him Nothing can free him Step aside, open wide He’s the loner.
So I can’t see the Northern Lights, but my cell phone can? That doesn’t seem fair.
The Cleveland Guardians pitchers were a good start, but when are they going to arrest Troy Vincent?
Celtics lead the league in the strong effort in helpful losses category.
Bo Nix with eye black looks like Bill Romanowski.
The irredeemable slobs at 98.5 are upset they can’t treat their workplace like a college dorm kitchenette.
BC basketball lost to Directional Connecticut? Was Bill O’Brien in attendance?
Every fanbase hates their OC no matter what. It’s ridiculous.
I’m not saying we bullied Joe into giving Walsh playing time, but I’m not not saying it either.
Have we mentioned that Pasta is a Good Kid? Because he is.
Best bet for the weekend: visits to the meat counter to order the fresh turkeys.
Mmmm. You can really taste the beechwood sawdust aging.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Gas glove available inside.
The expectations for this Celtics season were always tough to gauge. For one, not having your best player—Jayson Tatum, out with an Achilles tear—caps their ceiling dramatically. The dire salary cap situation forced management to prioritize jettisoning big contracts to clear the books, meaning free agents like Guerschon Yabusele and in-house vets Al Horford and Luke Kornet weren’t options.
It’s a bitter pill for a fan base riding the Jayson Tatum contention wave since 2018. One wrong step, and the franchise is mired in a rut not seen since the Big Three era cleared out.
The solace in this dour hour? Maybe the Celtics land among the NBA’s dregs, in the lottery, where a top-flight prospect rejuvenates a roster quietly desperate for youth and trade assets.
But even this talent-depleted squad isn’t bad enough for lottery glory. Like it or not, they house a Finals MVP (Jaylen Brown), an All-Defensive guard (Derrick White), and the reigning Sixth Man (Payton Pritchard). Not to mention 3-and-D sharpshooter Sam Hauser—a marksman any team would covet.
It’s not rocket science, or aerospace engineering.
Yes, beyond that, they lack dudes who dribble, pass, and rebound. But the NBA—especially the East—is littered with worse. On any given night, Jaylen Brown can have flames shooting out his ass, scoring from a phone booth. Derrick White can rim-protect like a center. This leaves room for the scrubs role players to punch above: Minott, Garza, Boucher, Simons – channeling ghosts of better days.
Josh Minott, Luka Garza, Chris Boucher—and especially Anfernee Simons—aren’t championship pieces. Simons? Damian Lillard shot selection without the justification. But some nights, he splashes enough to steal W’s.
We all have a role to play,
The three-point revolution proved basketball is math, not art. Bomb from deep, randomize outcomes, level the field. The Celtics are 3-4. Only the victims of one blow out, despite trash stats: 43.6% FG (27th), 32.6% 3PT (26th). No surprise—they lost three 7-foot rim protectors, replaced by barely warm bodies.
How bad are they? A 42-win squad waiting for luck? The worst clutch team ever, dropping 55 by slim margins? This ain’t 2014—no Vitor Faverani heater flipping Ws to Ls. There are made men here. That scares me.
This team wasn’t built to compete. It was built to carve cap space for Tatum/Brown 2.0. We’re too early to predict that era.
‘It is difficult to make predictions, especially about the future’. Karl Kristian Steincke
Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not livein Denmark.
The first thing I’d ask if I were at a crooked poker game is, ‘Does the table always hum like that?’
Once again, the local media contingent is the last to know breaking Patriots news.
I thought we had so many years left with Beef. His absence leaves a void that can only be filled with fatter, more hilariously named men.
You know it could be a good day when one of the first things you hear is Screamin’ Jay Hawkins singing “I Put A Spell On You.”
Does Eliot Wolf fancy himself as some kind of 6th round draft savant?
The Bruins appear to be bipolar. Unfortunately.
That stuff that Chauncey Billups and Damon Jones are accused of is legitimately the type of stuff that gets people taken out. No exaggeration.
Cakes are cooking for Ralph Bakshi, Claude Brochu, Robbie van Leeuwen, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Guy Gelso, Denis Potvin, Lee Child, Roger O’Donnell, Dan Castellaneta, Jesse Barfield, Mike Gartner, Michael Carter, Randy Jackson, Yasmin Le Bon, Peter Timmons, Joely Fisher, Rufus Sewell, Peter Breen, Marquez Pope, Gabrielle Union, Tracee Ellis Ross, Michael Shur, Ben Foster, Amanda Beard, Maurice Clarett, Chris Baio, Eric Staal, Gio Benitez, Andy Dalton, and Evan Fournier.
Sarge, that picture should be titled ‘Beefcake Heaven’ or the ‘Studs on Causeway.’
It’s always best to point shave in game 7 of the ECF, a game nobody pays attention to.
Orange Line Update: Please continue to expect delays of about 10 minutes while signal personnel work to overcome a switch problem at Oak Grove.
Does Hogdale become the new Barstool Beef automatically, or is a vote needed?
I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: I love rugby style punters.
Hey gang of fun-haters, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “One-day contracts are stupid.”
Never thought I’d be looking at the NBA Tankathon page again so soon but here we are.
Brian Kelly. Free to pursue other opportunities.
I never understood how an inverted W isn’t just an M.
Pablo Torre’s working on Jordon Hudson’s connection to this NBA gambling scandal.
Coach Vrabes is whacking people with connections to the Lombardi crime family.
Isn’t Dybantsa the drug that treats POTS?
There are survivalist ham radio operators with better Arbitron ratings than WEEI’s lineup.
I am physically incapable of not saying Quinshon Judkins without using the same cadence as ‘Leroy Jenkins.’
Climate change stops when we harness the power of pregame show fake laughs for clean energy.
In Deliver Me from Nowhere, Bruce Springsteen says his favorite hotdog condiment is mustard but in real life, Bruce Springsteen hates mustard so much he did a whole yap about it during a show. How the hell did E Street Ombudsman Gary W. Tallent let this happen?
Working on a fun story tonight where I get to combine two passions: special teams and apple cider doughnuts.
We’ve reached the point where it’s no longer Hazel may … it’s Hazel does.
Today I learned that primer is pronounced, ‘primmer’ when used as a preview of something. I have been mispronouncing that for 46 years.
It’s like those veteran suicide awareness commercials, but instead of some jarhead, they send in Bill Burt and “Hardy.”
Barstool Tofu is still alive and well.
Robert Saleh’s defense loves undersized interior penetrators.
I put a spell on you Because you’re mine Stop the things you tell Watch out, I ain’t lyin’.
Yeah, I can’t stand it No runnin’ around I can’t stand it No, put me down.
I put a spell on you Because you’re mine, oh yeah Stop the things you do Watch out, I ain’t lyin’.
Pets are the best so you just have to give them the best life possible while you can and let them live forever in your memories.
Fun Fact: Point shaving in the WNBA is called point waxing.
Pats should sign Jerod Mayo to a one-day contract and immediately cut him.
Honk if you remember the F/V Andrea Gail.
Or maybe Barstool is like Al-Qaeda: One leader dies, they’re automatically replaced. Seamless transition.
TreyVeyon got his touches! Now what to complain about?
If Hogdale is streaming to ten people during a normal game, I wonder what was happening in the 18th inning the other night.
Another reminder MLB should have emergency backup pitchers in the stands. EBUPs.
I can’t remember a Sunday night when I didn’t think Cris Collinsworth is an asshole. Last Sunday was not one of them.
Sad about Logan Mankins. Maybe Speros stole his donor kidney?
Why on Earth is Marlins Man still a thing? Go away already. It’s played out.
Best bet for the weekend: zero bags of leftover candy.
Bad start, good finish.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friends Hacksaw & Yahtzee, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Happy Halloween, ladies. (laughs) Nuns. No sense of humor.
And happy Birthday to actress Winona Ryder, who puts one on a Halloween frame of mind.
It got a little dusty in the TD Garden last night, amirite?
Tough loss, Mariners. Can I interest you in a baseball poem?
Hoping that for his next investigation, Pablo Torre can find out how Katie Nolan keeps getting work.
NESN talking Patriots credit pie? Bill only ever got blame pie. And such large portions!
When you turn too many corners you end up back where you started.
Toucher, Adam 12, Hardy and Big Jim… why not make the entire station out of failed rock DJs?
If I had been playing in that media basketball game, I would have pulled my team off the floor. Sometimes you have to make a statement.
Dammit Carolina Hurricanes, stop wearing the Whalers branding as a skin suit.
Cakes are cooking for Christopher Lloyd, Derek Jacobi, Jan de Bont, Lee Meredith, Greg Hawkes, Jeff Goldblum, Bobby Blotzer, Cris Kirkwood, Barbara Potter, Leonard Marshall, Bob Odenkirk, Brian Boitano, Valeria Golino, Carlos Mencia, Ron Tugnutt, Shaggy, Shelby Lynn, Spike Jonze, Saffron Burrows, Tyrone Williams, Ichiro Suzuki, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Brad Stevens, Jon Foreman, Olivier Pla, Heath Miller, Robinson Canó, Zac Hanson, Jonathan Lipnicki, Marcus Jones, and TreVeyon Henderson.
Love my gals of sports twitter today and always.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “We’re starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.”
You can be bald or gay but not both.
Globe Pitchbot makes Michael Hurley look like Patrice O’Neal.
Green Line D Branch Reminder: From 8 PM on October 24 through October 31. Local and Express Shuttle buses will replace service between Kenmore and Riverside for maintenance work.
FYI, Celtics season ticket renewal is March, with commitment to renew in February.
I wonder if Gene Simmons gave Ace Frehley’s family a Kiss coffin at half-price.
Guys, I don’t know if it’s been said before, but we’re starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.
Whomever convinced Chris Gasper he’s a good writer needs to be brought before The Hague.
Aaron Rodgers yelling is lowkey kinda scary.
Hate when I see a 12-year-old kid wearing a sliding mitt, but Vlad Jr. makes it look cool.
As usual I’m the only one in the exit row to review the passenger safety card. I don’t see any of these people helping in the event of an emergency.
It’s crazy, like, I was just thinking that we’re actually starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is. Anyone else feel this way?
Savor all the moments we have left with Chris Berman.
Long Johns went on today. Sorry folks, but it’s officially winter. I don’t care what your calendar says.
White women love two things: fucking with their faces and autumn.
You know the Patriots are back when Joe Murray and Dondero open up the postgame show by complaining about the Patriots trying to force the run, and how the defense needs to play better.
Black cats conduct heat evenly.
Why do refs say, “by rule”? What else would it be by?
As I was driving home, a thought struck me: We’re starting to reach the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.
Damn convenient the Charles River water quality markedly improved right before the Regatta!
And when I wake up in the morning To feel the daybreak on my face There’s a blood that’s flowing through the feeling With a knife to open up the sky’s veins.
Some things will never change You just stand there looking backwards half unconscious from the pain It may seem rearranged In the backwater swirling there is something that will never change.
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid…No one would be able to find it.
Porzingis had POTS? So is he better now? I ask because the broads seem to make it their personality for the rest of their life.
Honk if you remember when Paul was dead.
The next day, local television journalist Clark Booth suggested, “Instead of playing a seventh game, they should spread tables and checkered tablecloths across the outfields and just have a picnic, a feast to a glorious World Series, and toast one another until dawn.’’
It’s alright to cry Marchy, crying takes the sad out of you.
Congratulations to K’Lavon Chaisson for being named AFC Defensive Player of the Week.
Salem Ghost Lantern Stroll!
After looking at Marchand in a Panthers uni all night now I look up and it’s Marcus Smart as a Laker.
The Celtics, they could surprise!
Best bet for the weekend: we draw inexorably nearer to the point where it’s no longer Drake may … it’s Drake is.
It stayed fair, 50 years ago.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.She’s drivin’ away, with the dim lights on.
And happy birthday to French actress Catherine Deneuve.
I really wish pitchers still hit in the National League.
Imagine hiring Bill Belichick and being surprised he comes off as arrogant.
I am not ready for a world where Fred Warner had a horrific injury.
Dondero said that the defense and the running backs are in the back of the bus, while Maye and Vrabel are driving the bus. I don’t know if that’s a great analogy.
Hazel Mae did a spectacular job in that champagne storm the other night.
The trend of baseball players wearing Village People moustaches can’t end fast enough.
Non-meniscus injury Jaylen is way better.
Look at Pasta. Look at him. He’s the captain now.
Cakes are cooking for Willie O’Ree, Haim Saban, Jim Palmer, Richard Carpenter, Chris De Burgh, Joe Klecko, Jere Burns, Cathy Ladman, Kevin Harrington, Emeril Lagasse, Sarah Ferguson Duchess of York, Todd Solondz, Jorge Campos, Didier Deschamps, Dominic West, Fred Hoiberg, Ginuwine, Elena Dementieva, Keyshia Cole, Jessie Ware, Jesse Levine, and Anthony Joshua.
Yeah? Well, Optum is in first place for meet & greets, and has been for a while.
Late update to this: source says former Jaguars data scientist Claire Morrison is now an employee of the Vikings.
Sal Frelick just proved once again that you can never go wrong with a Boston College man.
No way Joe Flacco has only played for six teams.
Not many songs can pick your spirits up as quickly as Fats Domino singing the vastly underrated Walter Donaldson’s 1927 classic “My Blue Heaven.”
Drake Maye looks like the coolest of all the cucumbers out there today.
Watched this lady on tiktok pronounce penne as “peh-nay” before pouring her jarred sauce on her overcooked pasta and I almost launched myself into the sun.
Hey Cha Cha Malachi, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, a tie! “Oh, I guess that’s what that noise was,” and “It was dark, so I didn’t see anything.”
Imagine being so old your father was fired by Pop Warner.
Green Line Update: Service between Government Center, Union Square, and Medford/Tufts continues to stand by while personnel address the disabled train. Riders downtown should continue to use the Orange Line for alternate service.
Did I mention that in addition to visiting in all 50 states, and sleeping in all 50 states, I have been to a sporting event in all 50 states, plus Puerto Rico and the U. S. Virgin Islands?
Ahmad Rashad chooses better friends than Bill Belichick.
Teoscar Hernandez makes it clear he doesn’t believe in ghosts, but his wife does, so they have switched hotels in downtown Milwaukee.
Day is ending birds are wending Back to the shelter of Each little nest they love.
Nightshades falling lovers calling What makes the World go round Nothing but love
When whippoorwills call And evening is nigh I hurry to my Blue Heaven.
I turn to the right A little white light Will lead you to my Blue Heaven.
News Item: Research done by UTEP presents evidence that the Chiefs have benefited from slanted officiating from 2015 to 2023, a time that coincided with their rise as one of the NFL’s most marketable franchises.
The Bills didn’t have another ‘Damar Hamlin’ ready in time?
Gary Striewski and Randy Scott are very good with colors.
College kids from UNC think they scored with a Mark Farinella interview.
It’s going to suck when Seattle gets swept by the Dodgers.
Honk if you remember the 1987 NFL strike.
I swear it’s getting darker out earlier and earlier.
Are the Las Vegas Aces a dynasty? It’s quite possible, considering the particular and knowable number of Championships they have won.
Go check out free agency, Breggy. We won’t mind.
You did it, Humpy!
Rest up, sciatica is no joke, Lumbago King LeBron.
Best bet for the weekend: There’s only one answer- The Head of the Charles Regatta. Cya on the weekend thread.
Super Sky Paws to Mercury the Football Cat. Never to be forgotten.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friend Lefty, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locus. It wasn’t my fault. I swear to god!
And a happy belated 50th birthday to Bianca de la Garza, here seen tripping the light fantastic at her b-day bash with America’s Mayor, Rudy G.
I can’t be giving away prizes every other week! it’s unsustainable!
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
We had another winner this week, who will be announced when and if they check their email!
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Vikings at Browns
Cowboys at Jets
Broncos at Eagles
Texans at Ravens
Raiders at Colts
Dolphins at Panthers
Giants at Saints
Buccaneers at Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals
Lions at Bengals
Commanders at Chargers
Patriots at Bills
Chiefs at Jaguars
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our intrepid squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Breaking News: Baseball is officially over! Time to take out the air conditioners, put in the storm windows and start raking those pesky leaves. Sounds like a fun weekend of puttering around until Sunday Night Football, but you know what else sounds like fun? Banking goodwill with you significant other! Week 5 has a horrific lineup of games and the weather is supposed to be glorious. There’s no better time than now to break out the official The15 Fall Event Avoidance Generator and topsy turvy that motherf*cker. It’s the perfect opportunity for you, yes YOU, to bite the bullet and invite your loved one to the Foliage Brunch or the Hay Festival or even a trip to the Apple Maze. The Patriots play at 1 o’clock for the next five weeks – think ahead. Remember failing to plan is planning to fail.
Say it ain’t so, Uncle Joe
Sunday English Muffin Time Vikings (-3.5 ) at Browns Norsemen squash woodland sprites
Sunday Lunch Time Cowboys (-2.5 ) at Jets Jets soar to Cowboys crash
Broncos at Eagles (-5.5) Philly nix Nix
I told you these match-ups are boring
Texans at Ravens (-7.5) Scary black birds kickoff spooky season with a win
Raiders at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones extends the Raiders lost season
More belly rubs Dr. Jones
Dolphins (-1.5 ) at Panthers Black cats feast on fish
Giants (-1.5 ) at Saints David slays Goliath
Davey has been radicalized
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers at Seahawks (-3) Bucs sink Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals (-9.5) Phoenix grabs the Mythical Creature Bowl
Lions (-8.5 ) at Bengals Jungle kings dominate the battle of the big cats
They’ll both rip your lungs out once they grow up
Commanders at Chargers (-2.5) Bolts shutdown Washington
Sunday Prowl Time Patriots at Bills (-8.5) The whiteout uniforms whitewash the Patriots
Polar bear in a snowstorm on Hoth
Monday Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) at Jaguars Indigenous peoples skin the spotted cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The 15 